Jane Austen Death Squad ~ 5

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Chapter Five

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Sergio had been right. The computer in the lobby was free. Julia sat down and checked if she could use it without entering a code. Apparently she could, because she started clicking and then she gasped. “They are here!”

“Who are?” Sergio hadn't been sure why he was hanging around, but now he turned.

“The women! Well, some of the eight! They checked that site from this computer! Look, it's here in the history.”

He looked. “I knew that this was that sort of hotel.”

Julia looked around furtively as if she expected them to turn up any moment. “What now?”

“They'll be in bed. There's no one around except the receptionist.”

“But what do we do?”

“We spot them in the breakfast room tomorrow. Send that email first. I'll keep an eye out.” But he did not think they would appear. They were in bed, as he had already said. It was past the bedtime of dowdy women.

“Right.” Her hands trembled as she went to hotmail. “Yes. We got in. The Canadians spoke the truth. Look, there's an email from Elizabeth D'Arcy in their inbox.”

“What does it say?”

“Patient.” She clicked and read. “Elizabeth is asking them if they have any news.”

“Great, now you can email back that you do.”

“How do I phrase it?”

“Isn't writing papers your job?” he replied, but he pushed her aside so he could have half the chair. “Easy. We have the letter! Meet us...and then some place. Could be here.”

“But if she's here, aren't we supposed to know she's here?”

He thought about it. “Wouldn't she take something classier, something more befitting her aristocratic name? No, she wouldn't be here.” The hotel was not grand or stately enough. He typed on and finished the message. “Tomorrow at eleven. That should give us enough time to prepare something.”

She looked alarmed. “Not a whole lot.”

“Not if you plan to get up at ten, but you won't.”

“Please, not at six.”

“Yeah, well, we do need to stake out the breakfast room.” Did they, he asked himself as he spoke, but he supposed she would want to know who the other women in the hotel were.

“At six?”

“No, but before you've showered and dressed and all that it will be later. Let's get some sleep.”

“But what...” asked Julia as she followed. “What are we going to do tomorrow?”

“We get up, we drink some coffee, we make plans.”

“But what are those plans?”

“We tell her she's an idiot.”

“And that will help?”

He did not reply until after he had opened the door with his key card. There had been other people around. “If we are convincing enough.”

“I'm not sure that type will let herself be convinced. Idiots never know they are idiots, do they?”

Sergio kicked off his shoes and began to unbutton his shirt. “We won't know until we try. Don't worry about it now. Which side of the bed do you want?”

Julia watched as he removed his shirt. “Um...”

“You don't mind. Okay.” He moved into the bathroom. In truth, he was not sure it would work to tell a crazy woman she was crazy, but he didn't have a better idea yet. They could also tie her to a chair until she promised to fly back to her home country, but he didn't think he should get involved in something like that as a policeman.

First he would have to resolve the sleeping situation. He needed to get some sleep, or else he wouldn't be able to think of anything brilliant tomorrow, but it would be difficult with someone else in the room.

“So why aren't you open about your status?” Julia inquired as she barged into the bathroom.

Sergio was just brushing his teeth. “You know, I might be peeing.”

“I listened; you weren't.”

There was nothing he could say to that. And he hadn't locked the door, when he should have.

“So?”

“So? Because women always try to...well, do something about it.” As soon as he told them they became all sympathetic and wanted to be of some help. He didn't need any help.

Julia took her toothbrush, but could not start using it yet. She still had questions to ask. “Why would they?”

“I don't know, but that's why I'd rather not say anything.”

“This is 2016.”

“And in 2016 it's still unacceptable for a man to be single.”

“A single man must be in want of a wife,” Julia quoted. “That's from Pride and Prejudice, in case you didn't know.”

“Really? Well, most women still live in that age then. Nothing's changed.”

“Ah. Is it the single bit or the wife bit that grates?”

“What's your take on it? Are you looking for a husband or would you prefer to stay single? Or, should I, because you're single, conclude that you're gay?”

“I simply don't meet any men,” she said with a shrug. “Not at work and I do what's probably the last single-sex sport in the world.”

“Which is?”

“Synchronised swimming.” This earned her a stare and it annoyed her. So many people thought it silly, but they had no idea how much work it was. “What?”

“Nothing.”

Julia began to brush her teeth. When she finished in the bathroom, she found Sergio watching TV from the bed. It was rather strange to share a room, but she would get as little sleep at home, what with Elizabeth D'Arcy or her minions still on the prowl. She would constantly imagine them breaking into her flat.

“I thought I'd get the side closest to the door,” Sergio remarked. “Since you undoubtedly fear they will murder us in our sleep.”

“Actually I don't, since they don't know we're here.”

“Ah, don't they? They seemed to know a lot of things that we didn't knew they knew.”

“But you're prepared to get killed first. That's so kind.”

Sergio indeed wondered why he was so kind. There must be more to this than mere gallantry. His neighbour was quite attractive, he supposed, which must explain a bit.

“What do women always try to do?” Julia still hadn't really got an answer.

“What do you think?”

“Try to get you into bed? I have to say that was quite easy.”

He snorted. “You call that easy? Inventing murderous internet freaks just to get me into bed?” and he studied the space between the two beds. He was not exactly in anyone's bed just yet.

“It's original, you have to admit. But seriously, is that what they try to do? Get you into bed?”

She looked all scandalously shocked and Sergio wondered if she was younger than she looked. “No, they jump to conclusions and based on those conclusions, they assume that certain actions are in order.”

“Really? That's...vague.”

“I like vague.”

“No, you like facts. You told me.”

“Yes, which is why I don't like people jumping to conclusions about me.”

“What sort of conclusions do they draw? You still haven't said.”

“Is it really necessary to know?” And was it really necessary to keep it from her? He didn't know, but it was a nice game.

“Well, we're sort of in bed together. It might be nice to know what – or what not – I could expect.”

“Oh, snoring and the like? I don't think I snore. Do you?”

“You're – bah.”

---

The alarm went off at six o'clock. It wouldn't have been Julia's choice to set it so early, but she'd had little influence. After having lain awake a little uncomfortably for an hour, she had fallen asleep and slept undisturbed until now.

“You can have the shower first,” said Sergio. “Wake me when you're done.”

“What?” she exploded. “No way are you going back to sleep. You set the alarm for six – you get up.”

“Fine, we'll shower together.”

“What?” But that sounded uncertain. “No way.”

“Remember those women. If I was asleep they could sneak into the bathroom and murder you. And into the room if I was in the bathroom.” She was silly enough to believe that for a few seconds and he grinned.

---

It was 6.37 when they made it into the breakfast room, seven minutes after the room had officially opened. Not many people would have managed to come and go in that time. In fact, not many people had managed to come in the first place. Only one man was there already. He had just carried coffee to his table and was now standing by the buffet.

But men were safe. Men didn't read Jane Austen, Sergio assumed, and they certainly wouldn't accompany their wives on idiotic trips. The only person who was accompanying a female on an idiotic trip was he, he realised.

“This is a good spot,” Sergio decided, picking a table from where they could see the door and the buffet. “Go slowly. We don't need to be finished at seven when they might be coming in at 9.15.”

“I'd never have thought of that,” Julia said sarcastically. She strolled over to the coffee and slowly poured herself a cup. Since Sergio remained seated she wondered if he expected her to bring a cup for him as well, or if he'd think that went too fast. “I didn't know if you wanted one,” she said when she returned.

“No, I hadn't said,” he agreed. “I'll get one myself and get the newspaper too.” He'd seen a pile on a reading table near the entrance.

“Two separate trips,” she advised.

“What would that man think?”

“Probably that you're keen to get away from me as often as you can,” she shrugged. “Would anyone be thinking very clearly this early?”

“I always get up this early,” he revealed. “I don't think I have problems thinking.”

“What time do you usually leave home? I never see you.”

“Around eight.” He got up and fetched a newspaper and a cup of coffee on the same trip. It just wasn't possible to move so inefficiently.

Julia tried to read his paper upside down before it occurred to her that she could get something to read herself. She froze when she heard middle-aged female chatter in the lobby and someone mentioned something that sounded a suspicious lot like Bingley.

“See, I do read,” Sergio remembered to tell her when she returned to the table. “I'm not illiterate. Not that you cared when you shared the bathroom with me. Your principles are paper-thin.”

Julia did at that moment not care about anyone's principles. “Someone spoke of Bingley in the lobby!” she whispered, her eyes wide. “It's possible that I misheard, of course, but I don't think so.”

He frowned. “Bingley? What, who or where is Bingley?”

“He's in Pride and Prejudice!”

All they had on their table was coffee and the newspaper. “And we don't have a knife yet to defend ourselves. Bugger.”

“It must be them!” She bit her knuckles. “I can't remember if they sounded American or not.”

“Their accent is irrelevant anyhow. Stay here.” He walked to the buffet and nearly ran into two unattractive middle-aged women just coming into the room. “Good morning,” he said politely, even if Julia would probably kill him for drawing the enemy's attention to himself.

They were all smiles and politeness for such a handsome young man. It made him wonder if there was really some sense to Julia's ridiculous notion of dressing him in period costume. They might faint on the spot or do silly dances if he asked.

“They're in my pocket,” he smirked to Julia when he sat down again. Undoubtedly she had noticed, but he wanted to say it all the same.

“It's 6.45. Are you going to try this with every middle-aged woman who comes in between now and 9.30?” she asked warily. “Because you said this hotel is full of them. Does your ego really need stroking so much?”

“You told me they mentioned Binky.”

“Someone in the lobby, which might not translate precisely to these two.”

“Jealous,” he decided. “You don't like my being polite to other women.”

“Well, frankly, you keep talking about keeping women at arm's length and then in the space of an hour you make a move on one and flirt with two others,” she complained. “Excuse me for not being able to make sense of it.”

“Well, if that was a move...” His eyes widened. “Oh well, I'll need to think about it, but I've been assuming you made the move, if it was one.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you said I had to get up and thus you practically ordered me into the shower because there is nothing else to do in a hotel room at six in the morning.”

Julia looked a little perturbed by this reasoning, but she shook her head. “We can't go into that now. Is it them?”

“I could go over to ask if they could recommend any books I could buy for your birthday,” he suggested. “They'd surely recommend the one.”