Beginning, Previous Section, Section VI, Next Section
Chapter 16
Monday
January 5th 1999
10:15 a.m.
The time to leave was upon her. Jane could not justify staying at Charles's home any longer. Dana had returned this morning for her shift, and Charles needed to do some work before returning to his office tomorrow. There was no reason for her to deny it; Jane was going to miss spending her days and nights with him, but reality (and several passes by the city snowplow) told her to venture home.
Charles had walked her out to her car and as she opened the door, a glance at his face told her he did not want her to leave. They both knew that because of the demands of the real world, they would have no choice but to go back to seeing each other a couple times a week. Charles had his job, and in all likelihood Jane would be employed by the end of the month. The reduction of available time spent together was very real.
Last night while they were sitting in front of the fire in his room, Jane began to seriously think about taking an apartment in Oak Park, but there were several obstacles in her way. First off, she had signed a year lease on her apartment. She may be able to get away with sub-letting it, but it would be a huge undertaking to accomplish this. Also, until she had a job, it didn't make sense to make a move. The amount of time each day she would be willing to commute to work was a big issue to her. Depending on several factors determined by man or nature, Charles's day was often lengthened by two hours due to the distance between Oak Park and Elgin. Jane couldn't picture herself willing to sacrifice that much of her life driving.
But, if the market were agreeable, she would do everything in her power to find employment near the area. Her decision was a far cry from one the 'Jane of two months ago' would have made, but she was changing. What she would have considered a weakness back then, she now viewed as a compromise. And Jane was willing to compromise to be closer to him.
"I'll call you once I get home." Jane could not figure out why saying good-bye was so difficult. It wasn't like she moving to another state, but the distance between the suburbs they each occupied seemed like it at times.
"Please do. My schedule is booked solid for the next month, so I'll be getting home late on Tuesday and Thursday nights for a while." Charles handed her the bag he was carrying. "I'm glad you came, Jane. Drive careful."
"I will." She just stood there looking at him for a moment. "I love you."
"I love you, too." Charles slowly kissed her good-bye. "I wish you weren't leaving." He whispered into her ear.
"I know." Jane rubbed her cheek against his. It was still warm although they had been outside for several minutes. One of the things she was going to miss most about going was the feel his soft cheek against hers while they slept at night.
"Stay." Charles did not put a time frame on his offer, but he meant long term. Jane was quite aware of the connotation of Charles's remark; the seriousness of his voice had made it clear.
"I can't do that." As much as she loved Charles, she still wasn't ready for a step that big, yet. Jane needed to become completely comfortable with where she was at right now before she could move onto considering more.
"I understand." After another kiss he released her and watched as she drove off.
Someday.
Traffic on Interstate 290 was moving at a decent pace considering the amount of slush on the road. Jane stayed in the center lane until she found herself behind a car going 35 mph. Checking her rear view mirror and seeing all was clear, she moved into the faster paced left-hand lane. Cautiously she passed an elderly woman in a blue Impala. Jane was signaling to return back into the center lane when she saw a vehicle barreling down the road at a high speed. The type and color of car she didn't notice, but oddly enough, what her mind did register was the Arizona license plates.
Everything went black.
12:23 p.m.
Elizabeth was in the room alone holding her sister's hand. Jane had been out for two hours already and the stress of waiting for her to regain consciousness was beginning to get to her. Elizabeth had been the rock while her family members had their own individual breakdowns, but her turn was coming up--she could feel it.
"Janey," she said in a small voice, "it's time to wake up."
Jane didn't respond, but she heard Elizabeth. Her sister's words had transported her to a Christmas Day when they were 6 and 4. Anxious to know what Santa had brought her, Elizabeth came into her room to wake her well before the usual time. The two girls sat together under the tree, shaking presents and taking turns riding around the room on Elizabeth's new bicycle for an hour before they woke the rest of the house. Jane contentedly relived the memory for several minutes unaware of what had happened to her.
"Here's something to drink, Elizabeth." Jane recognized William's voice and it broke the spell of the dream. "Any change?"
"No." Her tone had lost the confidence it had held an hour ago. "I'll let you know when she wakes up."
"Do you want me to sit here for a while?"
"Thank you, but I want to stay. I think you have your hands full in the waiting room."
Jane did not see William go over and hold Elizabeth's free hand.
"The doctor said it shouldn't be long." Trying to reassure her by repeating a fact they both knew, William looked at Jane for a moment. Other than six stitches on the left side of her forehead, she had come out of the accident pretty much unscathed. Her airbag had worked, and the car's frame folded exactly as the designers had predicted. The man from Arizona was not as lucky. He died instantly.
"Will, you should go back out now. It's about time to check in with Mama again. Would you call her and let her know everything is the same? If too much time passes she'll come here. I know it. Mama is a terrible driver; I want her to stay safe at home today."
"I'll call her right away." William gave her a tight smile and left the room.
Not even a minute later, Jane fluttered her eyelids.
"Lizzy?" Her throat was dry and she had a terrible taste in her mouth. Jane tried to wet her lips, but they remained dry. Slowly she opened her eyes. The room was too bright for her to get a good look around, but she knew she wasn't in her own apartment.
"Jane!" Elizabeth stood up so Jane could see her.
"Where am I?" Jane felt groggy and it was taking all of her strength not to fall back asleep.
"You're in the Emergency Room in Elmhurst. You were in a car accident."
"Oh." Jane didn't remember. "Am I okay? Was anyone with me?"
"You have a cut from some broken glass when your head hit the door window, but otherwise you appear to be all right." Elizabeth noticed her squinting her eyes. She raised her hand to keep the light from blinding her. "You were all alone in the car."
"Good."
"I'm going to let the nurses know you're awake." She pushed the call button and stood back as her sister was looked over by a nurse, and later the ER doctor. All of the poking and prodding brought Jane out of her sleep state, and she was fully alert when they were finished. It was decided that they would keep Jane for another hour or two to observe her, but she was in good shape considering what she had been through. After they had left the room, Elizabeth made a suggestion.
"Why don't I call Mama and let Charles come to see you. He's anxious, I'm sure."
"He's here?"
"Yes." Now that Elizabeth knew Jane was out of danger, she felt the weight of worry lift from her shoulders. "You have him to thank for the stitches on your forehead"
"He didn't...?" Jane waited for her answer.
"No," Elizabeth chuckled, "he didn't do the stitches, but he called the hospital on his way here and insisted that a plastic surgeon put them in. From what I heard being said in the hallway, he was rather obstinate and pushy on the phone. The staff was laughing about a statement he made. 'I don't want some damn green Intern practicing on her face.'"
Elizabeth's tale brought a small smile to her sister's face.
"Oh, there is more. The reason he's not in here with you is that the nurse made him leave the room. You should have seen him, Jane. Charles was pacing back and forth questioning everything they said, reading your x-rays, and being a general nuisance. They enforced the family-only rule on him about a half hour ago for their own sanity."
"Poor man." Jane sighed. "How bad do I look? I don't want to scare him."
"You look pretty good! But if you ask for some lipstick, I'll throttle you."
Jane gave her sister a humored expression.
"That isn't what I meant, Lizzy. Could I have a sip of your drink? My mouth is dry."
Elizabeth handed her the cup William had brought her.
"I know. You're not bruising yet." She squeezed her hand and turned solemn. "The call from the hospital scared the life out of me. They wouldn't give me any information, and all I could do was think the worst on the trip over. William and I listened to the news report on the radio. Two people died."
"Dear God." Jane hadn't realized it was that serious. "Did I cause the accident?"
"No, according to the Police Officer William talked to, an out-of-state driver was going too fast for conditions and he plowed into you and three other people."
Arizona.
"I remember seeing the car coming, but everything happened so fast. Those poor people."
"Remind me to go to Church this week and give proper thanks. I love you, Jane." Elizabeth kissed the top of her head. "I'll go get Charles and relieve his suffering."
"I love you too, Lizzy. Thank you."
Jane closed her eyes while she waited for Charles. The fluorescent lights were beginning to give her a headache. Her thoughts wandered to the people who were not as lucky as she was, and to their families who had to deal with the news at this very moment. Reaching up, she felt the bandage covering her wound. It was tender to the touch when she ran her finger over the slightly raised area where the stitches were, but she knew it could have been a lot worse.
Jane heard footsteps come into the room, but they stopped at the end of her bed. After the silence went on for longer than she expected, Jane opened her eyes to see what was going on. Charles was there, looking down at her with a concerned, far-away expression on his face. He saw her blinking to shield the brightness, and went over to the wall to flip two of the light switches off.
"Thank you." She said as pleasantly as she could given the situation.
Charles didn't verbally respond, but remained stiff as he stood by the wall without taking his eyes from her. The relief that washed over him when he heard she was awake was short lived. Charles couldn't help speculating that she could have been one of those people who didn't survive. This thought plagued him since its inception, and his allowing himself to linger on it did not help.
"Come here." Jane made room for him to sit down beside her, which he did at her request. "I'm fine, Charles. Please, stop looking at me like I'm a ghost."
It was seeing her lying in the bed unable to wake up that had been his downfall earlier. His cool fled and he behaved unlike his normal self. After the ER doctor had examined Jane, he came and gave Charles the update on her condition. Charles promptly apologized to all parties he had harassed, especially the little 5' nurse who had the brawn to force him out of Jane's room.
Stroking her face, he knew someone somewhere deserved his thanks for her safety. Had she not had the car she drove, or the timing been a split second off… Charles stopped himself.
"You know how much I love you, don't you?" This accident was too close of a call for him to be able to not act like it affected him deeply.
"Yes."
"I'm not doing you any good with my obsessing, so give me a minute to shake it off."
"I will. Charles, am I supposed to have a headache?"
"It's common, yes. Is there pain anywhere else?"
"No, not that I've noticed."
"You have a slight concussion. Your tests came out fine, but I'll keep an eye on you tonight just to make sure. Would you like to come back to my house or go to yours?"
"Honestly, I'd like to go to mine. There is a lot I need to get done this week. I'm supposed to meet with an Employment Placement Agency tomorrow, but it looks like I'll need to reschedule."
"Your house it is, then." By talking with her, his mood lightened just a notch and he felt his tense muscles relax a little.
"What about my car?"
He shook his head. From what he had told, her car was totaled.
It may have been psychosomatic, but Jane's headache seemed to get worse with the news.
"I'll have to lease one until I can get another. The doctor told me I couldn't drive for a few days, anyway."
"You can drive Lillian's. We don't use it."
"No, I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that. I'll…"
"Jane, you're family. Let me do this."
She wasn't going to argue the point that technically, he was wrong. It was the sweet gesture that counted. He and Lillian were like family to her, too.
"We can discuss it later." Jane paused for a moment as she thought about the date. "Charles, you have to work tomorrow. You can't be playing nursemaid for me."
"Jane, you really shouldn't be left alone tonight. I can leave for work from your house in the morning."
"I'm sure you're right. How much longer am I going to have to stay here?"
"Not long. Why don't I go collect your things from your car, stop by and get myself a change of clothes, and then take you home?"
Jane brought him close to her and laid his head against her chest. She was in good hands.
10:20 p.m.
Charles sat straight up in bed without waking Jane. A cold sweat dripped from his face and his pajama shirt was soaked. Still in a deep state of sleep, he had no control over the racing of his mind.
It was all too clear, too vivid. How many times would he have to visit this room and relive this scene? Nothing he could do would end the nightmare until it played itself out in its entirety.
"Don't die! Don't die!" He cried into the darkness. "Zoya, you promised!"
For the second time in two months, the dream came back to haunt him.
Chapter 17 ~ I AM Strength
Tuesday
9:18 a.m.
Jane sat her coffee cup on the bathroom vanity to look into the mirror. The redness around the wound was becoming fainter, and the dissolving stitches were almost gone. Smiling at herself, she brushed her hair around her face to cover the mark while carefully scrutinizing the image reflected back at her. She was beginning to get accustomed to wearing her hair down, and had even been carded buying wine at the market last night. Maybe it wasn't so bad to relax her outward appearance a little; it definitely took less time to get ready each morning.
Jane laughed at herself for her silly thoughts. The accident had impacted her life more than she let on, although there were also subtle changes evident in those closest to her.
If anything, a little of the fear she had been living with was beginning to lose its power. The word 'risk' wasn't a completely dirty word anymore, but more like slang. Jane wasn't ready to go skydiving or lead a protest march quite yet, but she was coming around.
Charles, on the other hand, had changed since the wreck. He had started treating her with kid gloves in all areas of their relationship from her driving over to his house on wet roads to their lovemaking. He was being too cautious and apprehensive, often caught with a look in his eyes made Jane feel as if he was trying to memorize her because she might be gone tomorrow. Jane clearly recognized the root causes of his distress (her accident and Lillian rapidly nearing the end of her life), and her patience with Charles remained well intact. He needed time to adjust, like she had needed so many times before.
The difference in his behavior started most noticeably last Monday night, when he woke her up while he was having a nightmare. Jane had heard a loud voice, but the muscle relaxers she had taken left her in such a fog that it took her a moment to realize where she was. Charles was sitting up on the bed, with his knees pulled up and his head resting on them. She asked him what was wrong and all he said was that he had had a dream. When Jane placed her hand on his back and noticed his shirt was soaked, she got up and gave him one of her workout t-shirts. Jane asked him if he wanted to talk about it, but he said 'no'. Dreams were an area Jane respected privacy in, and she did not ask any more on the subject. After all, Jane had never shared any of hers with him. Not because she was afraid to admit the strange happenings she sometimes had at night, but because she did not feel the need. Someday she would tell Charles, but for now she kept their existence to herself.
Jane left the bathroom and went into her bedroom, on the way picking up two sheets of paper from the kitchen counter to think over while she ran on her treadmill. Running cleared her mind, and some of her best decisions came while she was engaged in the physical activity.
Leads were beginning to come in due to the meeting she had with the job placement agency last Thursday. Jane had already refused one offer for an interview. The pay was good, but after she toured the hospital, she knew she would not be happy working in the environment. It was a dinghy, outdated building with old equipment and procedures. But what really cinched her negative response were the faces of the people who worked there. Everyone looked either bored or cheerless, and Jane didn't want to fill her days surrounded by such people.
She had another offer in front of her. The situation was not ideal, in fact most people would not even consider it if they were in her place, but the challenge had caught Jane's curiosity.
Bennet Computers.
Public Relations and Marketing
Jane let out an exasperated breath and she increased the speed of her treadmill. She was going to need extra inspiration while she mulled over this idea.
It figures that Lizzy would suggest something like this. She fills in for Steven for two weeks and starts trying to hire relatives.
The conversation between the sisters in Steven's/Elizabeth's office had been carefully orchestrated on Elizabeth's part. She had invited Jane downtown for lunch, ordered food in, and casually asked Jane how her job search was going.
"Have you ever met Maria from PR?" Elizabeth asked while picking at her salad.
"No." Jane wondered what this had to do with her getting a job.
"She's going to be leaving in three months when her baby is born. She isn't returning afterward."
"Oh, that's nice."
"I was talking about it with her yesterday. She said that her and her husband had waited until they had enough money in the bank to make up for her loss of income. Maria's position pays really well, you know."
"I didn't know." Becoming suspicious, Jane answered her sister dully.
"It does. Her department is low stress. All of our advertising is done out-of-house. The marketing is straight forward, and PR speaks for itself. Steven is going to need to fill the job before she is gone." Elizabeth snickered to herself. This was going to be easy.
"I would assume so."
"Of course, with three months until Maria leaves, whoever he gets to replace her will have more than enough time to become familiar with our procedures. It's a real cushy job."
"Why don't you take it, Lizzy?" Jane asked innocently. She knew what Elizabeth was getting to, it as very apparent.
"Not really up my alley--to coin a phrase. Anyway, I have my eye on another department that needs a little cleaning up."
"Well, I'm sure Steven will have no problem filling such a high paying, low stress, cushy position." Jane wanted to laugh, but she managed to keep a straight face.
"True. You know..."
"How long did you say William was going to be out of town? Your house must feel empty."
"Jaaane!" Elizabeth had to grin at her sister. She was getting cleverer by the day. "You know what I'm trying to do here. You could at least play along."
"Liiizzy! You know I have no experience in marketing. Plus, this place doesn't exactly resemble a hospital, now does it? Why would I even consider taking a position I am so ill-matched for?"
"Several reasons. Shall I list them?" Optimism was something Elizabeth would not let go of.
Jane rolled her eyes and sat back in her chair.
"First off, working for the family business isn't all that bad. We have a lot of flexibility and can match your estimated salary without a problem. Also, I really do think you'd be good in the job, because you do have experience in many of the areas encompassing the duties that would be involved. You could take off time when you needed or wanted to without having to wait a year before you earned a week or two of vacation. You'd get to work with Mary and me, if I come back, and we have our good days…sometimes." Elizabeth gave her a tempting smile. "And finally, Dad asked me to offer you the job."
"Why would Dad do that? I've never shown any interest in the business."
"I really don't know. I asked him the same thing and he wouldn't give me a direct answer. He mumbled something about having a Bennet working at Bennet Computers, but I'm certain that wasn't his true motive." Elizabeth started to tap her pen on the desk.
"I don't think Steven is going to appreciate…"
"He and Dad have already discussed it. You have Steven's full support."
"Nice to know everyone is talking about me." Jane didn't like this. "Now, let me give you reasons why I shouldn't take the job. First, I'm not qualified. Second, I know very little about computers. Third, I'm dang good at what I do, and that is hospital administration. Why would I want to change? And fourth, I'm too old to be starting over." Elizabeth growled at her last statement, and Jane clarified herself. "Okay, that wasn't accurate, I'm not too old, but it would be starting over in something I have no training or experience in."
"All good points, Jane." Elizabeth agreed with a shake of her head, "So, will you think about it?"
Jane looked at her sister with a blank face. Stubborn, stubborn Bennet woman!
"Don't make me pull out the list of all your names and call you by them, little sister!" Jane pulled rank on Elizabeth. "If I was even to consider the offer, there would be a few things that would have to be agreed upon before I would give it any serious thought. Most importantly, I would want to be able to back out of the job without anyone getting angry with me if it wasn't working."
"I think that would be fair."
"Also, I would want a moving package-Lisle is too far of a commute for me, additional training options including seminars and conferences, and a two week vacation this year."
Elizabeth was impressed with Jane's attitude, demanding yet fair. They spent the next hour talking specifics and visiting the department.
Jane stopped the treadmill and held the offer in her hand, rereading the job description for the twenty-fifth time. It was something she could do. The salary was actually a little higher than she would have been able to negotiate at a hospital, and if she wanted to, she now had a reason to move near Oak Park since it was closer to Chicago.
Either I am getting braver with age, or stupider. It's a toss up.
Jane read the description for the twenty-sixth time.
Carpe Diem! Or at least seize within reason. I'm going to take the job.
The phone rang. Smiling, Jane picked up her water bottle and went into the living room to answer it. Most likely it was Charles calling from work. He had been anxious to know what she was going to decide about the position, and she had told him she was going to make up her mind this morning.
"Hello?" She said before taking a big gulp.
"Jane. This is Eric." It had been twenty long days since he was in contact with her. The absence had given Eric time to dwell on what it was that he really wanted from Jane, and to forget how rude she was last time he called.
"What did I tell you…" She coughed. Frustrated by this man's inability to understand simple instructions, Jane choked on her water.
"I need to talk to you,"
"Listen, you…" Eric interrupted Jane. He had been expecting a little hostility on her part, so her attitude didn't come as a complete surprise.
"I want you to think about taking me back. Jane, I miss you and I'm sorry about…."
"NO WAY!" She left no room for doubt in her harsh response. Too many times she had listened to his reasons, and too many years she had wasted time believing them. It wasn't like he ever had a chance in the first place.
"Jane, you didn't let me finish!" Eric was starting to get angry. If he hadn't known what Jane could be, he sure the hell wouldn't be wasting his time on her now. Eric decided that this new disposition of Jane's stemmed out of her being alone and lonely. It had hardened her and brought out an ugliness he did not like.
"I don't need to hear any more. The answer is never!"
"But you don't know what I have done to make you happy!"
The words ready to come out of her mouth froze on the tip of her tongue when her mind registered Eric's statement. What could he have done? He was not a physically violent man, this she knew, but he was acting strange--even for Eric. Her curiosity pushed her to continue the conversation instead of hanging up on him.
"Make me happy? What are you talking about?" Jane waited with bated breath, hoping he hadn't done anything foolish.
"I've been to therapy and now I see what I did wrong. I've changed, Jane. Really, this time I have changed! I'm ready to take care of you again. It would be more like when we were first married. Come on, Jane. You were always the person who said nothing was hopeless. You were the one with the faith. Give me another chance."
Jane found it hard to believe that she was talking to the same man she was once married to. She couldn't remember him ever being so…delusional. Eric was obviously having some problems dealing with reality, but she knew it wasn't her mess to clean up. Jane did not feel one ounce of sympathy for Eric. He had created his own life, and she was all too grateful to be free of him.
"Eric, please hear me out." Jane kept her voice strong and unemotional. "I am never going to reconcile with you. I don't love you. It is good that you are in therapy, but don't do it thinking I'm the prize for your being successful. I'm not moving back to Champaign, I don't want to have a child with you, and I was wrong…some things are hopeless. I'm not going to change my mind. Now, in all fairness to both you and myself, I will give you one last warning. Never call me again."
Calmly, Jane hung up the phone.
It started to ring again a few seconds later and Jane knew who it was. With every ring, her anger rose another degree until Jane felt like she was going to explode. And explode she did. It was time to end this once and for all.
"WHAT?" She screamed into the receiver.
"You didn't let me finish!" Eric yelled back.
"Eric, there is nothing you could say or do that would convince me to come back to you. I thought I made that clear a long time ago."
"Hey, I said I'm sorry for that. I didn't realize what I was doing at the time."
"Bull! Eric, everything you did was premeditated, so don't try to lie your way out of it. I'm not that ignorant." Her voice went up another octave. Jane had never been this infuriated in her life.
"Jane, I was confused. I thought I could make you come back to me, but I went about it all wrong. I'm ready to make up for my mistakes. I'm ready to treat you like you should be!"
"Too late. Marrying you was the worst mistake of my life."
"Jane…" He couldn't believe she had just said that.
"I've had it! I'm going down to the Police Station and filing a harassment report on you. This is serious, Eric. Do you understand? If you ever call me again, I'll press charges."
"You don't have to do that!" Is she insane? I wasn't harassing, just talking to her. Jane is really overreacting.
"Yes, I do You've left me no choice."
"But…" Eric instantly knew what was at stake if she would follow through with her threat.
"No! If you want to keep your precious law practice, you had better take me seriously. I'm finished!"
There was so much force behind Jane's slamming down of the receiver that she cracked the phone. Seeing this made her even more enraged. Picking up the entire phone, she pounded it against her irreplaceable, one-of-a-kind end table until the it rattled with dislocated parts and her table top was marred. Jane didn't hear the pounding on the door until after she had thrown the broken phone across the floor.
Bang…Bang…Bang.
The only sound coming from inside of the apartment was Jane's own labored breathing.
"Jane! Jane, are you in trouble?" A male voice on the other side of the door called.
Her heart began to slow down once she realized it was Chris from downstairs. She went and opened the door.
"I'm fine, Chris." She grumbled as she noticed the baseball bat in his hands.
"Who's in here?" He demanded. Her screaming woke him up, and Chris was up at her door in record time. He liked Jane, and if anyone was up here hurting her…
"Just me."
Chris shoved past Jane and began investigating her apartment. Not that he didn't trust her, but he wanted to make sure everything was safe. It wasn't long before he picked up a jagged piece of plastic off the carpet.
"Phone." Jane said dryly to satisfy his curiosity.
"Telemarketers?" He asked casually as he picked up several assorted parts of her now dead phone. He was surprised; she didn't seem like the type to throw things.
"Worse. Ex-husband." The edge of Jane's mouth lifted slightly. That was a funny question and she would have laughed if he had said it any other time but now.
Chris threw what he collected into her trash, then stood in front of her.
"A fat guy like me can have a heart attack from the noise you made. I can only take so much excitement. Don't do it again!" Chris smiled. He was relieved she was okay.
"Thank you for being concerned. I guess this makes up for my riding your butt about your music." Jane's straight face didn't intimidate him anymore.
"Ha! I still owe you about four more visits!"
"True. But I've never come down armed!" Jane eyed the baseball bat. "Chris, it was nice of you to check on me."
"No problem, Jane. The noise travels through the heat vents." Chris almost told her that she might want to let her boyfriend know that little fact, but decided it might be a little too embarrassing for the both of them.
"Would you like some coffee?"
"No, I'm going back to bed."
Jane gave Chris a hug before he went back downstairs. He was a good man, and she knew she couldn't have asked for a better neighbor. There was something comforting in knowing that someone was watching out for her.
After he left, Jane showered, dressed, and did exactly what she told Eric she would do. She went down to the Police Station.
1:45 p.m.
Her parents did not realize they were being watched as she stood in the archway of the family room. Dale was napping in his favorite chair with his dog curled up beside him. Rose sat across the room from him behind an easel. Jane stepped quietly over to her mother's side.
"Shhh. Your father is sleeping." Rose whispered as she pointed to Dale.
"I know." Jane looked around the easel at what she was drawing. Her mother was actually a fair artist. Somewhere in the attic were drawings she had done of the girls when they were little. Jane was going to ask her mother for them one day because she had always admired them and they held great sentimental value to her.
"He doesn't know this, but I sketch him every day while he naps. What do you think?"
Jane began to answer when her father clearing his throat interrupted her.
"I know what you're doing, Rose. I can hear the pencil scratching on the paper." Dale said nonchalantly, as if he was so cleaver.
"Why didn't you say anything?" Rose's whispering ceased and she spoke in her normal voice. "I would have had you pose."
"You were being quiet, I wasn't about to say a word."
Jane stifled a grin that was forming. Her parents never changed. She would try to be sneaky and he would try to out smart her.
"Jane, does it look like him?" Rose pointed at her husband likeness in front of her.
"Yes, it does. It's very good, Mother. You should frame it."
"Hum." Rose stood up and put her pencil into the tray. "I may think about it. I'm finished here for the day anyway. I need to collect Lydia from school. Do you want to join me?"
"No, thank you. I want to visit with Dad for a while."
Rose gave her a peck on the cheek and left the room. When Jane heard the front door close, she moved over to a chair next to her father.
"Dad, are you tired?"
"No, not at all. I know your mother likes to draw, so I sit here every afternoon and pretend to be asleep." Dale held his hand out and Jane put her own in it. "What do you need to talk about?" He had an idea that something was on Jane's mind by the way she waited until his wife was gone to speak. Dale assumed it was about the job offer he had Elizabeth make to Jane.
"I have to tell you what I did today. It's about Eric."
Jane proceeded to fill her father in on the facts about the phone calls she had received and the complaint she filed against Eric. Dale listened intently, asking her questions to fill in the places where Jane did not give him enough information. The conversation deepened, and they talked for some time about her divorce before Dale brought up her financial situation.
"We split everything that was left. There wasn't as much as I would have liked." Jane had been avoiding mentioning this to her father. She was ashamed about the way she had squandered his hard-earned money, and this shame kept her silent on the subject until now.
"SPLIT? What are you talking about?" Dale had a look of agitated disbelief on his face, and Jane reacted accordingly by lowering her voice.
"It's the law in Illinois," she explained.
"No, not that! What about your divorce clause? How did he work around that agreement?"
"Dad, that doesn't ring a bell. I don't remember any agreement."
"Well, you should because you signed it. I was there. It was a week before your wedding when we were at the lawyer's. I thought Eric and I explained all of this to you. He and I went over the papers about your money for hours."
"Well, he showed them to me and told me what the were, but there was never any mention of a clause by Eric, you, or the lawyer when we were going over everything."
"Jane, I assumed you knew what you were signing." Dale was beginning to get defensive. He knew he had rushed her when they were at the signing, but he had so much on his mind at the time.
"Dad, there were so many papers. I don't remember you ever telling to me about it. I was lost after about fifteen minutes of the lawyer talking. It was the first time I had ever signed anything, and I was Katt's age. You need to give me a little slack for inexperience." Not only did Jane have no memory of what he was telling her, she didn't like being reprimanded like a child.
"Jane, I might have called it something else at the time, I don't recall." Dale's voice was booming with frustration. He could believe she waited until now to mention this to him. "I'm not mad at you. Give me a minute to collect my thoughts."
Twenty Minutes Later.
Dale called Elizabeth, Elizabeth called William, and William called one of the best Law Offices in Chicago. Jane had a meeting set up for six the very same evening.
6:55 p.m.
Although Jane was curious as to why William did not offer her the service of one of his company's lawyers, she would soon understand why he recommended whom he did. From the moment she sat down at the conference table and looked directly into the eyes of the woman before her, she knew it was right. Jane laid out her father's copies of the Monetary Disbursement papers and the documents from her divorce, then explained in detail the events of the past two years. When she was finished, Jane sat back while Jimmy went about her business.
Jimmy crossed her arms under her chest and let her eyes travel across the papers laid out in front of her. Her expression may have been unreadable, but her concentration was on high. She had no tolerance for crooked lawyers, and to call Eric Homman 'crooked' was a compliment. Obviously, the divorce clause was the best place to start.
"Let me make sure I am correct." Jimmy pushed a paper in front of Jane. "When you collected your financial documents for your lawyers, this paper was not in your possession?"
"Correct. Eric and I had our important papers stored in a lockbox. All of the financial papers were there, except for the one stating that if we were to divorce, I would receive the proceeds of any property and personal investments until my original inheritance was equaled. Everything after that was to be split 50/50."
Jimmy shook her head.
"Well, the simplest way to explain this is as fraud. In this instance it's more severe because a settlement decree is a court proceeding. In not disclosing the information to the court, he committed perjury. It amounts to the same thing as going before the judge and actually lying."
"Can he be forced to honor the agreement?"
"Absolutely! Have no doubt about that."
"Will he lose his license over this?"
"Yes, he will be brought before the disciplinary committee and disbarred. If he doesn't, then I'm finished practicing law because it won't mean anything." Jimmy noticed Jane flinch as she answered her question.
"You do understand that I am not doing this for revenge. I'm not that type of person"
"Neither am I. I do believe in justice. This man has no right to practice law. Jane, look at it this way. If he is willing to exploit his own wife like this while claiming to want a reconciliation due to his undying love for you, what do you think he is doing to his clients?"
"I wasn't out to destroy him, but I do want what is rightfully mine. If he has broken laws, he should have to pay the penalty like everyone else."
"I agree." Jimmy returned to her musings for a moment.
"Jane, are you certain there are no other investments you might not have known about?"
"Honestly, I don't know. Eric took care of everything like that. The only other person who might have an answer is Tom Glenn, our accountant. The papers in the blue folder are what he gave my lawyers while the divorce was going on."
Jimmy nodded her head and picked up her phone.
"Rebecca, do you have a minute before you leave tonight? I have something to show you."
After she received her answer, she hung up the phone and smiled at Jane.
"Rebecca is an excellent researcher. If there is money hidden anywhere, she'll find it."
Jane let out a low sigh.
"I was so foolish. Only an idiot would do what I did," Jane wasn't looking for sympathy by making the statement. She believed it.
Jimmy shook her head in disagreement.
"Trust me, I see idiots everyday, and you're not one. You were a twenty-year-old woman who was handed a large amount of money. You trusted your husband who turned out to be untrustworthy. There should have been a secure trust fund set up for you, guided by a trained accountant or attorney instead of a twenty-three year old man. Why this wasn't done, I have no idea. But, your ex-husband has broken so many laws that I find it amazing no one has caught this before. At the very best, he is a perjurer. If it is justice you want, then I can do that. If you only want your money back…I can do that, too. Jane, the choice is yours in the end, but I can tell you that you'll not be doing anyone a favor by letting him off the hook."
Jane only needed a few seconds to make a decision.
"Jimmy, you're right. Let's do the right thing."
If It Keeps On Raining, The Levee Is Going To Break
9:35 p.m.
Jane drove to Charles's home. Once they were behind the closed door of his study, she told him all that had happened since her first phone call from Eric. For over a half-hour, he listened and asked questions without giving his opinion. Playing the passive Psychiatrist, Charles held in his own emotions in check until Jane finished her narrative. Then, the dam broke.
"Is this man dangerous?" Charles felt as though his worse fears were coming true.
"He has never been so, no."
"He has also never been pushed into a corner, right?"
"Charles, Eric is into self-preservation. He knows that coming after me will only lead to trouble. I'm not worried about him trying to harm me." Jane was confident.
"I'd feel a lot better if you were somewhere safe until this is resolved. You could stay here, or with your parents..."
"No, I will not go into hiding. I'm not going to live in fear."
"Jane, I'm not talking about fear, but your own self-preservation." He was determined to have her understand his point.
"He is in deep enough trouble as it is. I know Eric, he is going to want to keep this as hush-hush as possible..."
"You didn't know him well enough to think he would go as far as he did." His words stung her. "What if he figures out that he doesn't stand a chance against you, and decides to take you with him? There is a time and place to be brave. I don't think this is one of them."
"You don't think my judgment is sound enough to make that decision on my own?" She was attempting to hold on to her patience, but he was beginning to push her. Jane had had too many confrontations today and one more was one too many.
"I didn't say that. Sometimes it is better to have an unbiased third party give an opinion. You're too close to the action."
"And you're unbiased?"
Charles looked away exasperated.
"Okay, this has gone on long enough. I think I should leave now. You need to cool down. Ever since the accident you have not been yourself. I'll call you...no, you call me when you're thinking clearly." Jane was not comfortable leaving the conversation like this, but they were both showing signs of being frustrated, and she knew nothing would be resolved tonight.
"Why won't you listen to me?" He asked.
"Because it is you who is afraid, not me. Good G-d, Charles. Don't you think that I would do something if I thought there was a reason to? I'm not reckless."
"How can I not worry about you? You almost died..."
"There is the problem! I did not 'almost die', Charles. I was in an accident. You've been blowing this out of proportion for over a week now, and it's beginning to push me away. I don't want your overzealous concern." Jane picked up her purse to leave. She loved him, but his anxiety was getting out of control.
"If I would have followed my instincts and not let you leave a week ago, you wouldn't have been hurt. I didn't listen to my own judgment, instead relying on other information and look what happened. This is not the first time I have erred so gravely, and it could have cost another life."
Another
Jane stopped at the door. She knew they were getting to the heart of his problem, and she could not abandon him now. Looking up from the doorknob, her eyes met with his.
"Tell me." She said seriously.
Her offer was simple. Jane had given him an opening to share something that had been eating at him since it happened. Right afterward, others had offered to listen if he wanted to talk, but he told them 'I'm fine' or 'I'll let you know if I need someone to talk to'. He never did. Charles averted his eyes from hers and thought for a moment about what would be involved if he opened his old wound. He chose to tell her.
"Ten months ago I made an error in judgment so great that the end result was the loss of life for a twelve year old girl. Her name was Tanya Livingston, and she was a patient of mine at the clinic in Detroit. I failed her…"
Everything. He told Jane everything. Charles started with the history of the little girl who never smiled; the hardships she had endured and the subsequent damage they had inflicted upon her young psyche. He went into detail about the approach he had used with her, and how over time he had thought she was getting better. When he spoke about the cutbacks the State had imposed on his department, and how he was forced to begin releasing patients who had showed improvement but still needed treatment, the bitterness in his voice could not be missed. He and the other psychiatrists had their hands tied by red tape and budget concerns…and Tanya was set free. He admitted that he was confident when he signed her release papers--a mistake he had yet to forgive himself for. He and Tanya had worked so hard together to get her to a point where she could function without lashing out at others, he did not recognize (or know) that she was punishing herself, instead. Charles didn't see the cuts she made on her body in places no one would notice, and she gave no indication of her own self-hatred. Tanya hid it well.
When he began to talk of her taking her own life, his voice was so thick that Jane could hardly understand him. They had both been standing in the same places they were before he had begun the account. Walking over to his desk, Jane turned the light off and led Charles by the hand to the couch for him to finish the story. The room was now pitch black and he could continue on without embarrassment.
The pain, the responsibility, and the guilt he had been holding inside rose to the surface, and he could not control the way in which they were expressed.
As he ended the saga of Tanya, he went into how Jane was correct--he was afraid. Making sure she understood that he did not view her as a chance for him to redeem himself for the tragedy that happened to Tanya, he instead went further into his own explanation. Jane was one of the few people he had ever gotten really close to. Charles could make friends at the drop of a hat, people liked him and he could truly say he liked people, but there was an invisible line he would not allow himself to cross when dealing with others.
Jane was so deeply embedded in him that he could no longer imagine life without her, and he tried to put into words, but failed, how precious she was to him. He knew that he had overreacted to her car accident and news of Eric. Charles apologized for his behavior of the past week with sincerity, and when it was his turn to fall silent, any sliver of doubt or hesitation Jane had had toward the two of them was gone.
In Charles she had found her perfect match and anyone who did not believe that such a discovery was possible (as she did not long ago) was wrong. Real, lasting love does exist outside the realm of books and poetry, granted it could be hidden in the remotest of places, but it is there…waiting to be found. It is the rules that we as individuals force upon ourselves that makes it difficult to see. Jane didn't need to test it for the rest of her life to be certain of its validity, or impose a waiting period on herself before she allowed the absolute joy she kept a tight hold on free. She knew without a shadow of a doubt that she would love and be loved for the rest of her life…and beyond.
As she sat next to him in the dark holding onto his hand. Flowery, romantic words escaped her, but they were of little significance.
In a quiet, still voice she told him that she was moving to Oak Park to be nearer to him because she loved him so. It was the truth.
"Live with me in this house you love so much." He asked.
"Charles, I can't do what my sisters have no problems with, as much as I am tempted. I can't live with a man."
"I'm sorry, I didn't make myself clear." He said softly as he lightly brushed the hair away from her face. Charles wanted to see her eyes. "G-d, I love you. What I meant was…Would you marry me…and live with me in this house you love so much?"
With tears forming in the creases of her eyes, Jane gave him the answer he had prayed for with only the nod of her head. She couldn't speak; she could scarcely breath as the Heavens took note of the change in their fate.
The love they shared that night was different from anything either had ever been able to know before. It had nothing to do with physical pleasure, or emotion release. It wasn't the ultimate act of love, or an expression of their desire for one another.
It was a celebration of two souls, who in an act of faith, agreed to act as one.
Chapter 18 ~ Irreplaceable
Wednesday
January 14th 1999
8:45 a.m.
Jane and Charles had given Lillian their news the night before. To say she was delighted would be an understatement. She had recognized great value in Jane from their first meeting, and Lillian knew her beloved grandson would be happy in life, as she was.
Surviving a parent's worst nightmare; Lillian had out-lived all three of children, but she was not bitter. Her dear Gregory had been gone for too many years, and she was to a point where she had to look at a picture to remember his face, but she still cared. She made it through a world war that stole her parents and her homeland from her, but she was not resentful. A boat brought her to America during a time when immigrants were not welcome, but she flourished.
Lillian Janick Bingley could honestly say that she had a full, blessed life.
It had always been her hope that she would live to see Charles find someone he could love, and now he had. Lillian could ask for no more.
Jane had left early in the morning to go home and make some phone calls. She had a job to accept, and a father to fill in on the details of her meeting with Jimmy. She and Charles had decided to keep their announcement quite for the moment out of respect for Lillian's state. This was not the time for the congratulations and excitement that usually surrounds an engagement.
As he always did, Charles stopped by Lillian's room before he went to work. They often shared breakfast together, but this was no longer the case. She didn't eat anymore, and had requested that no measures be taken to extend her life. Charles respected her wishes and did not order her an IV feeding tube. Now they spent their time together quietly; sometimes he would read and sometimes she would sleep.
"I'm here." Charles said although she appeared to be sleeping.
The corners of Lillian's mouth lifted when she opened her eyes. She was about to use the last of her voice to tell him something that had been on her mind since last night.
"I see you are awake. Jane wanted me to tell you that she would be by this afternoon to see you."
Lillian smiled even more, then motioned him to put his ear closer to her mouth.
"If you want," she began "I would like you to use Ewa's diamond for Jane's ring."
To someone who did not understand the importance of gesture, it might seem kind, yet not unusual. But, it was so much more.
"Babcia, are you certain? I know what the stone represents to you, and you swore to…"
"Time to let go of the past. We no longer need the security of the diamond. I want Jane to have it. You and she are the next generation."
"Thank you."
"Get it set soon. I want to see it on her."
With an hour before he had to leave for work, Charles went down to the basement. The family safe was located in a far back room behind a false wall. He turned the dial to the combination he knew by heart, listened for the click, and opened the heavy door. Inside the fireproof environment were titles, deeds, bond certificates, stocks, wills, and other impotent papers that made up his family portfolio. His eyes stopped on three boxes the size of large hardback books. Each was labeled with a name: Louisa, Caroline, and Charles. He removed his box and went over to a table to open it. Inside were several velvet pouches tied with gold cord. Some he could easily recognize what form of jewelry they held. The pearl necklace and bracelet he had given Jane for Christmas had come from this box. Charles picked up two smaller bags until he found the loose stones he was looking for. Carefully undoing the knot that held the bag closed, he pulled out another piece of velvet, making sure to shake the loose sapphires from it before he brought it out and held it in his hand.
Ewa's diamond.
Charles looked at the perfect carat and a half stone sitting on his palm. Lillian was correct; it was time for the diamond to be brought out of hibernation. Their fortune was secure. Charles reminisced about the story he had heard so many times in his lifetime.
Two years after she had relocated to America, Lillian received a package from Poland.Lillian's landlady Mrs. Harris had held it for her until she returned from her job as a cleaning lady in a downtown office building. Lillian opened it in front of the kind old woman, and hid her surprise at the contents. There was a loaf of dried bread and a stuffed bear from her childhood. The letter enclosed in the box was both cryptic and simply written.
Dearest Lillian,We are all fine here. Our neighbor's have moved on to a new location, although we had hoped we could get them to stay a while longer. We send you our love, along with this loaf of wheat bread from your grandmother's kitchen. I do not know how long this parcel will take to arrive at your doorstep, but I do hope you will be able to at least break off a piece of the loaf, and think of us. Grandmother Janick wanted you to have it.
We sent your bear as a reminder of all you have here in Poland and the world.
Someday we will be together again. Take good care of yourself our brave girl.
With all of our love and best wishes for your future,
Mama and Papa
Mrs. Harris smiled at the young woman as she peered into the box.
"The bread looks awfully old my dear, I do not think I would eat it. Would you like me to throw it away for you?"
"Oh, no. Thank you Ma'am. My grandmother went to a great deal of trouble to send it; I will keep it upstairs with me. Maybe soaking it in milk will help."
Lillian escaped up to her room as quickly as she could. With tears rolling down her face, she broke the loaf open. Her Grandmother Janick had died ten years ago, so the sender of the parcel knew she would make a connection. Inside the loaf, a pouch of jewels was well hidden. Lillian quickly examined her cache, and then hid it carefully away in her room. Taking a small pocketknife, she ran it along the seam on the back of the bear. It was stuffed with documents and papers locating and verifying Swiss bank accounts that were now hers. As her fingers searched through the stuffing left in the bear, a set of rings was found. She removed them and identified them immediately…they were her mother's.
In the letter, which was not in her parent's handwriting, there was mention of her former neighbors. Lillian remembered them well; they were the same age as her own parents, and Jewish. Pieces began to fall into place as she sat on her mattress, and Lillian knew in her heart that her parents were no longer living. They must have hidden their neighbors away and were caught.
Lillian's world changed that day while she grieved alone in her room. With her mother's rings in her hand, she vowed to make her life and fortune here in America. The stones would be put away, never to be worn or sold unless they were needed for her own survival. Other than the papers she had pulled from the bear, they were all she had left of her family.
After removing what he wanted, Charles returned the box back into the safe, then closed and locked it. Lillian's jeweler in town was a man he could trust, and he would stop by there on his way to work.
6:45 p.m.
Jane was reading aloud when she heard his car pull into the drive.
"Lillian, Charles is home." She said as she laid the book down. Between Jane and Charles, they had almost completed reading the 'The Doll' to Lillian. Jane could speak Polish better than she could read it, but the longer she read, the easier it became. They would start reading when they knew she was awake, but that was often for such short periods that now they continued even while she was sleeping.
Jane went to Lillian's bed and let her know that she would be back soon in a whisper. She was sleeping peacefully. With a nod to Carol, she left the room. When she reached the staircase, she saw Charles come in the back entrance. A huge smile came to her lips and Jane hurried down the steps to greet him.
"Hello." She put her arms around his neck to be kissed.
Charles looked down at her with a softness and warmth reserved only for Jane.
"How was your day?" Jane asked after the kiss had ended.
"It was good." He said as his mouth brushed hers again. "Come with me to the study. I have something for you."
Holding hands, they slowly climbed the stairs together. Jane informed of the happenings while he was away. She was to go downtown tomorrow to meet with Steven and Maria, and next week her training would begin. Jane did not tell Charles that she had made it clear to Steven that she would be taking off time when she was needed here.
Once inside, Charles sat her down on the couch and took off his coat. He was wearing a button down shirt and vest; Jane's particular favorite mode of dress. She quietly tiptoed behind him while he was bent over fiddling with his coat, and ran her hands up his back.
"Jane, you're supposed to be sitting on the couch." Jane didn't listen to him as her hands moved around to his chest. When her lips pressed against the back of his neck, Charles reached up to caress her arms with the ring box in his hand.
"What do you have?" She asked playfully. Jane leaned over him to see what was in his hand. Realizing what it was, she turned her eyes up to him.
"Now will you go sit on the couch?" Charles grinned.
"I suppose I should." She answered before she untangled herself and went back to where she was sitting.
Charles stood before her. Last night had been the serious proposal. Today was the happy one.
"Do you want me to get down on one knee?" Charles questioned her with a high level of mirth in his voice, which made Jane laugh.
"It would be the right thing to do, dear," she teased him back.
Charles dropped to one knee and took her hand in his. Last night he was not completely certain what her answer would be when he asked. For a split second, he had wondered if she might think it was too soon for a proposal, but to his relief, she agreed right away.
"Jane, I love you. Would you do me the honor of marrying me? I don't have much to offer you, but…" Charles thought for a moment while Jane waited expectantly. "I'll take you to the Bahamas for a honeymoon if you'll marry me!"
"Well, I'd rather go to Bermuda." Slyly, she issued him a challenge.
"Bermuda?" Charles raised his eyebrows. "If you think we can get around the whole negative-vortex triangle thing they have going down there, it's a deal."
"Ahh…but I haven't said 'yes' yet."
"I was thinking last night's 'yes' was your official answer."
Jane shrugged her shoulders. "Depends."
"Depends?"
"Do you have a ring? It has been proven that we women are sometimes swayed to a positive response by bright, shiny objects. No, wait. That is men."
Charles pulled back from her and laughed out loud. He would never tire of her teasing.
"I have a ring!" Charles opened the box and took a deep breath. The design was his own creation, and he hoped she would like it. The Jeweler, Oscar, had been the man to write the latest appraisal on the diamond, and when Charles told him the story behind needing it done soon, he went right to work. Lillian had always been a good customer of his and he had heard she was dying.
Charles released the ring and held it out for her before his thumb and forefinger.
"A bright, shiny tempt..." He stopped talking when he saw her expression.
Jane had never seen a more beautiful ring in her life, and her smile gave way to amazement. The emerald cut diamond caught the light in the room, casting a rainbow glow out from its center. On each side were three sapphires, done in the same cut. They did not take away from the focus on the center stone, but drew the eye to it.
"Charles." There weren't any words for her to let him know what was going through her mind.
"If you want anything changed, it's no problem."
"No." She shook her head. "It's perfect."
He slipped it on her finger. Since he didn't have her ring size, he had to estimate. It fit her finger perfectly.
Charles spent the next ten minutes giving her the history of the gems, which now made up her engagement ring. Jane had voiced her hesitation about wearing an heirloom as precious as the one he had given her, but Charles assured her that only people were irreplaceable, not diamonds.
After they had gone to Lillian's room and showed her the ring, Jane asked Charles to excuse them for a few minutes. She wanted some time alone with his grandmother.
Kneeling down, Jane looked upon the face of the woman who had always treated her so kindly. She spoke with short sentences because she realized Lillian was struggling to stay awake.
"I wish we had more time together." Jane stated as she kissed her hand "You and I would have made quite a team."
Lillian responded by rubbing her fingers over Jane's arm. She has always appreciated Jane's acknowledgment of her condition. She was a lovely, considerate woman who was more of a friend to her than only a 'future granddaughter' was.
"I love you, Lillian. I want to thank you for so many things. Thank you for raising Charles. He is a wonderful man, and I love him with all my heart. His nature is a product of his upbringing, and you should be proud of the job you did.
"Next, thank you for entrusting me with your mother's stone. Charles told me the story, and I am honored to wear it." Lillian looked over at her ring finger. Charles had taken the old stone and made it new again. It was where it belonged now, on Jane's hand.
"And finally, thank you for loving me. You don't have to say it because I know. You've shown me many times by your actions."
Lillian shook her head slightly. She did love her. Jane wiped off the old woman's cheek.
"Don't cry, or I'll cry." She said as tears fell onto her own face. Reaching over to the nightstand, Jane pulled a Kleenex free and dried Lillian's face. Her eyes were beginning to get droopy, and Jane knew she was going to need to sleep soon.
Jane stood up and placed a kiss on her head. "Have a good rest, dear. If I don't talk to you again tonight, I'll be here tomorrow evening."
Monday
January 19th
2:33 a.m.
It took several knocks on the door before Danielle was able to wake Charles.
"It appears as if your grandmother has slipped into a coma." She waited for him to register her words before she went on. "Her breathing is now labored, and there have been several long pauses in the last five minutes."
Danielle never liked giving relatives this news, but it was her job. Lillian was the fourteenth terminal patient she had seen through to the end. The sad thing was, it never got any easier.
Charles stared at the blank wall across from his door for a moment.
"Would you call Jane for me?"
"Yes."
"And my sisters?"
"Yes."
Danielle allowed Charles to pass by her and go into his grandmother's room before she went downstairs to use the phone. Inside of her she knew this would be her last night working for the Bingleys.
Three hours later Lillian Janick Bingley passed away quietly in her bed with only Charles and Jane as witnesses. Danielle had been able to reach Caroline out in California, but Louisa was not at home. She made it a practice to give the family privacy during the final moments, and left them alone until she was called upon.
The only piece of medical equipment other than the bed was a heart monitor. When it went flatline and stayed that way for over three minutes, Charles took note of the time before tuning it off. He went over to a desk and filled out the death certificate, then turned to Jane. She had been crying but wasn't making a sound.
"I'm going to..." He couldn't seem to tell her that he was going to go be by himself for a while. "I'm going to go..."
"It's okay, Charles. Go. Danielle and I will take care of everything. I'll be here when you need me." Jane answered solemnly.
He tried to thank her for understanding with a small smile, but couldn't. Charles went over to his grandmother's bedside and gazed upon her for the last time.
"I love you, Babcia." He kissed her cheek then rushed from the room.
Note from Dawn: My own beloved father died from lung cancer three years ago. The wonderful hospice workers who took care of him during the last month of his life have my deepest gratitude. They have chosen a noble profession.
Chapter 19 ~ A Walk On The Dark Side
Wednesday
January 17th 1999
2:45 p.m.
Charles and Jane drove alone from the graveyard to his home in silence. The house would be open to the attendees of funeral for the few hours, and then they would be finally free from the prying eyes of others.
It's almost over. One more public ordeal and it's over. He reassured himself.
Charles let out a long breath, causing Jane to look over at him. Catching her out of the corner of his eye, he reached over and caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers. She had been his rock during the entire process, and it had helped him keep his control. When he thought he could not shake another hand or hear another prayer, he would look at her and see the strength in her eyes.
"I'm tired." She said softly.
"Me, too. How about when this reception is over, you and I take a nap."
"That sounds good."
Jane took his hand and brought it up to her lips to kiss. There were a few specks of dirt on his fingertips where he had taken a handful of soil to put on the coffin during the burial. He had been her rock; if he hadn't been as strong as he was, she would have broken down several times. When she felt like she could not hold in the tears any longer, all she had to do was to look at him, and his calm would soothe her.
Just a few more hours and we'll done with the mourners. A few more hours. She reassured herself.
4:40 p.m.
People had begun to dwindle, and the few who were left were either close to Lillian or friends and relatives of her grandchildren. Jane's family had come to the wake, but only William and Elizabeth were present for the funeral. They had been wonderful to Charles and Jane, and had offered to stay afterward and help clean up with them.
Jane looked around the room. The caterers she had hired had done a very nice job, and everything had gone smoothly. Jane noticed Charles over by the fireplace talking with a man he had introduced her to earlier, but at the moment she could not remember his name. Over in a corner on the far end of the living room were his sisters with an older couple she learned to be his mother's parents. They were nice people from what Jane could tell, and had left a good impression on her. She wished her first meeting with them could have been under different circumstances, but there would be time in the future to get to know them better.
Jane flinched when she saw Caroline leave them and walk toward her. There was something about the woman that rubbed her the wrong way. Charles had never said anything overly negative about his sister; it was more of an impression Jane got when she near. Caroline seemed very haughty and critical, and these were two traits Jane had no tolerance for.
"Jane." She drawled. "Have you seen my brother? I wanted to ask him a question about tomorrow."
"No, I haven't." Jane lied. "Is there anything I can answer for you?"
"I was telling Granddad about the reading of the will tomorrow, and for the life of me I could not recall the lawyers name. Granddad may know of him."
"Um…" Jane knew the name. "Jackson…. No, Jacobs."
"Do you know his first name?" Caroline invaded Jane's personal space by placing her hand on her shoulder.
"No, I don't."
"Oh." Caroline scanned the room. "Tell me, who is that woman with William Darcy? I didn't hear about him getting married. You know, he had a crush on me growing up."
Somehow, Jane doubted that.
"That is his girlfriend..."
"Girlfriend? Are they serious? You know, until a man has a ring on his finger, he is a fair game." Caroline snickered, trying to be pals with Jane.
"…Who is my sister, Elizabeth Bennet. They introduced Charles and I at a birthday party she held for him. He is quite taken." Jane was not rude, but her point was very firm and clear.
"Sorry, I didn't know."
"Honest mistake." Jane responded dryly. Caroline's perfume was giving her a headache.
"You two look so different. Do you have the same parents?"
"Yes." She decided to change the subject. "Caroline, what is that scent you are wearing?"
Assuming she was forgiven for her little slip of the tongue, Caroline gave Jane a huge smile.
"I have it made at a little shop in The Valley. The man at the shop calls it "Caroline's Blend'."
Jane nodded her head, wondering if Charles still had Advil in his medicine cabinet upstairs.
On her way to the restroom, Elizabeth saw Jane rubbing her right temple while an overdressed tall woman was talking to her. Recognizing her as Charles's sister, and recalling what William had said about her, she decided to give Jane a hand.
A short time after the two women were introduced, Caroline went in search of other entertainment.
"Sugar time." Elizabeth announced. "Come with me?"
"Sure, but let's use the bathroom upstairs off of Charles's room."
Arm and arm the two sisters went up the staircase. Jane stopped and smiled back at Charles when she saw him as she was halfway up the steps. He was looking more relaxed than he was an hour ago.
"This is a beautiful home, Jane." Elizabeth commented while they were walking the long hallway that led to the bedrooms and Charles's study.
"I agree. It is my favorite." Jane pointed to a doorway. "Turn in here."
"So, this is Charles's room. It looks like a man's room."
"Yes," Jane answered as she opened the bathroom door. "I like it."
Elizabeth took out her blood monitor while Jane searched the medicine cabinet.
"I realized something yesterday. Do you want to know what it is?" Elizabeth asked, hiding the twinkle in her eyes.
"Sure."
"I have Mama-sense!" She beamed proudly.
"What are you talking about?" Jane had no idea what Elizabeth meant by her statement, but she was hoping it wasn't her way of letting her know she had a baby on the way.
"How long have you been engaged? I noticed the ring yesterday at the wake." Elizabeth grinned. "After all I did to get you a job! I'd think you would have at least let me know so I could get you a gift."
Jane looked coyly at her sister. She knew her chances of getting out of the bathroom without an explanation were slim.
"A week. But, we're not announcing it due to Lillian's passing."
"I understand." Elizabeth's monitor went off and she checked it. "Can I ask you something?"
"Yes."
"Does it seem a little soon?" It was a serious question.
"That's a good question, and the answer is 'no'. I am more certain about marrying Charles than anything I have ever done. It is right, Lizzy. Thank God, it is right."
Elizabeth was watching her sister's eyes when she answered. She was convinced.
"Then I'm happy for you. Have you two set a date?"
"Not yet. After everything settles down, we'll get to it. When is it your turn?"
"I don't know. We're happy with the way things are right now. Can I look at your ring?"
Jane lifted her hand. "The diamond was Charles's great…"