Beginning, Previous Section, Section VII, Next Section
Jump to new as of August 14, 2006
Jump to new as of August 15, 2006
Jump to new as of August 21, 2006
Posted on Sunday, 6 August 2006
"What about me?" Anne asked evenly, as if she did not know very well what was meant.
"He has gone away. I conclude he has no intentions towards anyone, despite his sister having encouraged him in every way."
"Has she?" She did not know whether that had been in every way. There was more Sophia could have done, but she had wanted it to be their own choice.
"Ordering him to carry a young woman around? Carry? Anne! Such close proximity ought to be avoided, as you well know," Lady Russell said rather disapprovingly. "If Mrs Musgrove had ordered him to carry Louisa, what would you have thought of it?"
"Ah yes," Anne conceded. The close proximity had done much and it had perhaps done precisely what an outsider might fear it would do. She could not deny that she had liked it a good deal better than she had expected and a good deal better than she ought.
It was no use comparing Sophia to Mrs Musgrove, though. Their motivations would differ. "But the difference is that Mrs Croft thinks an injury or physical condition does not necessarily confine one to one's bedchamber, if one can get about with a little assistance. Surely, if she had some other design, she would have forced her brother to sit at my sick bed to read to me? She ordered him in particular because she had seen enough evidence of nobody else exerting themselves very much on my behalf and she knew he would have enough sense of duty to see to me. The admiral has carried me too, but he did not go to Lyme, did he?"
It almost made sense to Lady Russell, but not quite. "You rationalise this very capably, Anne."
"But it does not convince you."
"Not entirely. Had he been anybody else, it might have, but not now. I have not forgotten the past and such dutiful behaviour does not convince me entirely. Did his sister know about your past?"
"She…" Anne wondered if it was too revealing to say she must have revealed too much, because Sophia had guessed. "She is not a fool. She does not have to be told."
Lady Russell was undecided. "You look too well at present for me to be at ease about this."
Anne straightened her back. Her mood was quite contrary, she noted. She was determined to stand her ground. "Is looking well not good? I am usually being told I do not look well." In fact, the first time someone had said the opposite she had been very surprised.
"Is there an understanding? There could not be, since he might not return."
"Admiral Croft lied to Louisa and Mary for obvious reasons. They would keep appearing at breakfast time otherwise. Of course he will return, since he has no home. That is all I can say." She could not admit to any understanding before he had spoken and she did not know when he would be back, but he had no home, so he must.
"But is there any attachment? Or will you not tell me, Anne?" Lady Russell pressed.
Anne needed some courage to express her feelings, something she had always lacked until now. It had become much easier and merely taking a deep breath sufficed. "I have always been attached."
Lady Russell did not expect such sentiments from a young woman of twenty-seven, even if they were expressed with the utmost calmness and confidence. "Oh dear, oh dear."
A long silence followed upon this exchange. Anne was a little afraid of her godmother's opinion, although it could not alter her feelings or influence her decisions. She did not know what Lady Russell thought, nor did she want to study her to see at which conclusion she might be arriving. There was nothing she could do anymore. She had spoken.
Admiral Croft rescued them by coming into the room. Anne saw to the introductions and hoped they would talk. Lady Russell was however far too affected by Anne's disclosure of her attachment to be capable of much conversation.
"What a sad business in this house," the admiral declared after having studied them both in turn.
"How so?" Anne wondered without much interest.
"Nobody is talking."
"Sophia?" She was not even capable of using more words to phrase her question. It was a sad business indeed.
"I have just put her to bed." He sighed. "You and I could go out in the gig later because I am dying to be doing something. What do you say?"
Anne noticed that Lady Russell thought the admiral was a very odd man, but she was almost amused by his request. Her feelings were still too low to laugh, but she managed a small smile. "Sophia will not let you drive," she reminded him.
"She is asleep."
That made no difference to her and she shook her head. "If we go out without Sophia, you will give me the reins."
"That will do." His face brightened at the prospect of going out. "I shall occasionally check whether you are ready."
When he had left the room, Lady Russell turned towards Anne. Her expression could not be mistaken for approval. "Do you really plan to go out in the gig with that man?"
"That man needs to be out and I cannot walk very far yet." It was obvious to Anne. "But why do you call him that man?"
"Inviting you into his gig!"
Anne almost chuckled. It was certainly very shocking! "He wants to be out of doors and he wants to have company. If I had not been here, he might have asked you. I do not see what you are worried about. He likes his wife very much and very likely thinks I am a nice sister. I wish you would not be so suspicious of the Navy."
"I wish you would not idolise them so. You never did until one started telling you romanticised tales."
Anne could not even be insulted. "I admit that for many years I knew no others, but I have met a few more now and they are all very good men. I can say that without idolising anything or anybody."
"And you would go out for a drive with Admiral Croft? Alone?"
"Three people fit in, but I do not know who else would like to come. Surely if my father made no comment on our attending his evening party together, there could be no harm in taking out the gig?"
"Evening party? In Bath? You were in Bath?"
"Yes, we were there briefly because Mrs Croft wanted to try the waters. I called on my father, of course." She was essentially a good girl, whatever she might be up to.
"Of course. What did he say?"
"Nothing." She could not summarise it any other way.
"Nothing?"
"Some things about their stay in Bath," Anne amended. "But I cared nothing for that. You know I care nothing for Bath or the people who go there. I cannot remember what they told me about them."
"Did he not notice you were not with me?" This surprised Lady Russell. "And that you had come sooner?"
"I suppose he did, but he never asked me any questions."
Lady Russell sighed heavily. She did not like such indifferent treatment of Anne, who deserved better. "I shall need to think it all over. You do look well," she said with another sigh. "I shall call on you tomorrow."
Anne only managed a nod.
"Mind you," said the admiral. "I do not know whether your one-handed driving is any safer than mine."
He was not getting the reins, whatever sensible comment he might be making. Anne gripped them a little more firmly. "But I pay attention."
"So did I."
She knew he had a tendency to leave some of the truth out of his comments. He would have paid attention to something, but not to the appropriate things. "To the road or to Sophia?"
"It was not Sophia," he said in amusement. "I cannot remember what it was. Why do you think it was Sophia?"
"It was Frederick who thought you might have been doing what he called your usual thing. I do not know what that is."
"Neither do I." He looked aside. "Have you ever held the reins?"
"No, and I had not actually been in a gig before this one, but I have seen Sophia do it." It had not looked very difficult, certainly manageable if she chose the wider lanes.
"So have I and you know what happened. Should we have an accident," he said. "You must not go flying over hedges again. If something happened Frederick would never believe you were driving."
Anne ignored one or two veiled requests to increase their pace when she managed to drive tolerably well. The requests amused her, but she was very firm about not giving in. Their trip passed safely and they returned with nothing worse than cold feet and fingers, so they agreed to go again the next day.
Frederick needed to walk around a little before he saw an acquaintance who could inform him of the Crofts' address in Bath. He was told they had already left. "What?" he cried, frustrated with their inability to fix themselves in one place. "Why?"
"Mrs Croft was unwell, I believe."
He looked concerned. "Unwell?"
"Yes, that is what we were told. Cooper who dined with them told me that she is in fact so huge that she could deliver a child at any moment."
Frederick supposed he must allow for some exaggeration. "But I was staying with her until very recently and she was not huge." He had considered her a bit plump, that was all. That she must be close to delivering was a surprise. He supposed they had returned to Kellynch for that reason.
"I had last seen her when they had just come ashore and she looked very ordinary then, the same as a few years ago. I hardly saw her now. She hardly left the inn while the admiral traipsed all over town with a girl."
Anne, he said to himself, but he could not help asking about her. "What sort of girl?"
"Pretty enough. He seemed to amuse himself with her while Mrs Croft was at the baths, but he was not her only admirer. It was a pity for the other one that the admiral was so possessive and indeed the girl seemed to prefer him too. I saw her jump into his arms myself." His acquaintance related this news with obvious glee.
Not Anne then. "That makes no sense," Frederick said decidedly. Anne jumping into Admiral Croft's arms? She would not. No, it must have been another girl. Yet the admiral did not like any other girls and if some girl made a move to jump into his arms he would very ungallantly step aside. One of them had undergone a significant character change if this story was true.
"No, indeed, especially considering the admiral is married and by all accounts devoted to his wife and the other man was the girl's cousin. But if Mrs Croft is expecting there is no telling what the admiral might do," his acquaintance said with a sly wink.
"The girl's cousin?" Who was this? Male cousins were grave dangers. Sir Walter did not have a son. In Lyme there had been a man whom Mary Musgrove suspected of being their cousin, he remembered, and he had indeed stared at Anne. He did not like this one bit. Such a man would have easy access to Anne on account of their family relationship.
"A future baronet, or so I was told. Took a liking to the girl, but he could not quite get past the admiral."
He did not like the sound of a future baronet, but that bit about the admiral was more reassuring. "What do you mean by not getting past the admiral?"
"Well, if we did not know he was devoted to his wife, we should have had strange thoughts about this girl." But his acquaintance either did have strange thoughts or he pretended to have them in order to bait Frederick. "She could not go anywhere without him and whenever this cousin fellow did manage to speak to her, she was quick to run to the admiral. We saw it ourselves. It was very amusing."
"Yes, I am sure." He was not at all amused. "Have they all left?" He hoped Anne had not been left behind. Although in that case he could speak to her without much delay, there was the matter of the cousin who appeared to prey on her.
"They even took the girl. Very odd. I saw them leave together. Her father remains in town and she never stayed with him. Perhaps she is out of favour for gallivanting with older men."
If he was not so interested in any sort of news about Anne he would have smacked this man long ago, Frederick realised, but the idea of Anne not having been a dutiful daughter was very intriguing. He could not imagine Sir Walter allowing her to stay at an inn. He could not even imagine Anne considering it a possibility. "Did she stay with my sister?"
"Yes, she stayed at the inn as well. I saw Mrs Croft there too. She did not look very huge to me and she was walking, so I am sure Cooper exaggerated," he said, as if this did not contradict his earlier words.
Although it was not a credible story by any means, Frederick gave it some thought as he travelled to Kellynch. He hoped the admiral had been shielding her from that cousin and that Anne had no interest in the man whatsoever. It was not strange to hear of other men liking Anne. It would perhaps be stranger to hear they did not. Yet Frederick could not like it. It told him an important thing too, that he should not waste any more time. His good fortune in finding her still free would not last forever. She might not keep rejecting suitors for his sake. Eventually that would change.
Edward did not think he possessed enough common sense to handle this adequately, but he felt he had done enough thinking to disagree. He would ask Anne's forgiveness and propose. Sir Walter Elliot -- he glared at the thought of the man -- could be of no consequence anymore. Anne was old enough. He was rich enough. Everything could be settled without Sir Walter.
Posted on Wednesday, 9 August 2006
Anne had sent out notes and messengers to prepare the household for the birth. She had wondered about the urgency of such actions, but it was better to be prepared. The midwife now knew she might be summoned; she had even come by briefly and agreed it might be very soon.
Lady Russell had not called, but she had sent a note that mentioned a headache. Anne had not been sorry; she had been far too busy. Sophia became excited, whereas Admiral Croft became nervous. More than once Anne found him deep in thought. She even found him very distressed one morning and she needed all her powers of persuasion to reassure him.
It was clear he was unable to see his Sophia suffer without feeling twice her pain, although Anne did not even think Sophia suffered very much yet. The ladies decided therefore that he must not watch, in fact he must not even be informed when anything painful was going on, because he was already in a bad state. Anne thought he suspected something in spite of their caution, because he only grew more silent.
She had much to do herself. While Sophia shielded her husband from her worries, she could not hide them from Anne. There were two people to reassure and staff to instruct. It allowed her no time to consider much, certainly not that it might go wrong.
The admiral was sent out for a walk when things began to progress. It would take hours, said the midwife, but she had not reckoned with Sophia's desire to be done with everything.
As Frederick was about to announce himself at the door, someone came tumbling out. It was Anne. She was not wearing a coat and she crashed into him.
"The admiral," she said breathlessly, grasping his arm with her good hand. "Where has he gone?"
"Er…" He did not even know whether she realised it was him, here. She did not seem to care and he felt a pang of disappointment. What was going on? Why did she not jump into his arms? He had thought she would and then she asked about the admiral. "I do not know. I came --"
"Look for him. He has just gone out. I cannot spare a minute. Sophia asked," she added, seeing his confusion. "Please?"
Frederick swallowed his disappointment at the urgency in her eyes. He glanced around himself when she went back inside and he chose to go right. Around a corner he perceived the admiral slightly ahead of him, seated on a bench with his face in his hands, and he ran to join him. "Anne sent me to get you back," he called. Here was another person who seemed not to realise he was here. The welcome he was given was not at all like he had imagined. They were all so preoccupied with something else. He might as well be someone they did not know, for all their dazed and unseeing looks.
"Anne?" the admiral asked. "How is Sophy?"
Frederick saw the fear in his eyes and he felt it too immediately. Although he remembered that she had been deemed so huge that she must be close to giving birth, he had not supposed it would already be occurring. "What is wrong with Sophia? Is she unwell?"
These questions revived the admiral a little. He stood up. "Anne would have told you. What did she say?"
"That Sophia had asked. Nothing else." He almost had to run to keep up as they returned to the house. "What is happening? Will someone tell me?"
"Sophia is lying in. They told me it would take hours."
"Hours? Why?" he cried.
"Because --" He decided not to snap anything about the size of a child. "They sent me away because I could not bear her grunting and moaning. Has it come, finally? Tell me it has come."
Frederick did not like the sound of grunting and moaning. Why was that necessary? "I hope so. Anne did not say, only that I should get you because she could not spare a minute." She could not spare a minute. That was why she had not said more to him, not because she did not care he was here. She must have noticed it was him, though, and later it would come back to her. He would simply have to be patient and wait for that.
"Not a minute!" the admiral scoffed. "We have been waiting for hours and now it pops out in a minute?"
"Will you go in and look?" He was very worried about his sister now. Grunting and moaning, for hours. Was that normal?
"No. Definitely not. Unless she especially requests me to be there, but I keep thinking she is dying and she keeps telling me she is not and it is all very distressing. Go and tell Anne I am here. She will tell you what to do. She is good at that."
Frederick met Anne by Sophia's door. "I brought him back," he said to her, paling as he caught a glimpse of Sophia on the bed. She did not look comfortable and he could not tear his eyes away. She was his sister and he could not simply leave and close his eyes as if nothing was happening to her.
"The head," said the midwife.
Anne was too busy staring at the bed to give him any answer and he was too mesmerised to leave. They stood together and watched. "Oh dear god," he stammered when a disfigured and discoloured thing was pulled out. It had a strange colour and it was wet and it had a long tail of sorts, yet it looked enough like a little human to be anything but a baby. "How am I to tell him?"
"What a perfect little girl!" the midwife cooed, immediately wrapping the little thing.
"What!" Frederick muttered in disbelief. "What am I to tell him?" His brother-in-law would be happy, but not with this. He could not imagine it. Finally there was a child and it looked like that.
Anne remembered she was still by the door and that furthermore she had company there, whose hand she had gripped in her excitement. She dropped it now, embarrassed that she had been so inattentive. "You should not have watched."
"No," he agreed, feeling his stomach and heart were in disorder. He wished he had not looked in, but he had not known something like this was going on. He had only come to tell Anne something.
"She is lovely!" Sophia exclaimed and the little girl demonstrated instantly that she also had a lovely voice.
"Lovely? What am I not seeing?" Frederick whispered to Anne in agitation. "It is malformed!" He could not possibly tell his brother about a malformed child.
She pushed him away so she could close the door. She hoped nobody had seen he was here. They might not like it. "Tell him you have a niece."
In spite of his reluctance, Frederick had to pass on some of the message. He had no choice. "Sophia is well and you have, I suppose, a daughter," he said hesitantly. "You do not look surprised."
"I have already heard her scream." The admiral began to grin, as if everything had come right. "She sounds very healthy indeed and from the screeching I had already deduced she was a girl."
"She looked --" But he could not say it. He could not dash those hopes and destroy that happiness. He did not always want to be the bearer of bad tidings because they thought he was strong enough. "Sophia said she was lovely." He very much hoped Sophia was right.
"Is Sophia all right? Am I allowed to see her? Them?"
"She smiled. Sophia, that is, not the…thing. I am not coming with you. I happened to glance in while it was going on and --" Frederick shuddered. He understood perfectly why the admiral had chosen to stay here, within hearing distance but out of sight.
"But it is over now. I can go."
Frederick leant his head in his hands and worried about his little niece. Did all newborns look like that? Had he? So ugly! Anne had taken his hand and the marks of her nails had not yet faded. He rubbed them. She had considered the child normal. Everyone had considered the child normal. He hoped they were right. Sophia had looked so happy with her and Sophia deserved that happiness. From the little he had seen she had suffered enough for it.
It was not over, not quite. Anne was looking at the little girl, because Sophia required attention again. Anne had given her a few concerned glances, but she could not abandon the baby. The admiral's arrival caused another concerned glance. He did not know whether to look at the bed or the baby, but his eyes darted from one to the other.
"I am fine," said Sophia, although clearly she was not. She spoke with difficulty. "Look at your daughter and then go away until we call you again."
"Fine?" He did not think she looked or sounded fine at all. He had just recovered from his fear, but it gripped him again instantly.
"Yes, I shall be fine…in a moment."
"Is she really fine?" he asked Anne in a low voice.
"The midwife has not panicked," she said with a shrug, not wanting to worry him unnecessarily. She kept her voice gentle and cheerful on purpose. "Look at your little girl. Frederick panicked at how she looked when she had just come out, but is she not lovely now?"
He looked at the tiny face and smiled in spite of his fears. "She is a miracle. As wrinkled as a little sailor, too. But Sophy…" He raised his eyes to the bed. Sophia had told him to go away, but he could not. "She is still in pain. Why is that? It should be over."
"Well," Anne said softly, coming to a startling conclusion. "She did the same a while ago and then the baby came out. Then she was fine for a bit, really fine, and then it started again. Are you certain she was not mistaken about carrying something with eight limbs, even if it is not quite an octopus?"
"And this one has four?" he gestured at the infant in front of him.
"Yes, sir." She looked at the baby in her basket. "But where are we going to put the other one?" She knew with perfect certainty there was no other basket in the house and she held up two fingers to Sophia, thinking too much at once to disturb her thoughts by speaking. Perhaps if she said too much the admiral beside her would have a fit. He seemed to be short of breath already.
"Yes, did I not always say so?" Sophia grunted.
"Ah!" Anne turned back to the admiral, who did indeed look as if he was about to faint. She nudged, squeezed and pulled at his arm to keep him awake. His gaze was fixed unblinkingly on his wife, but he did not hear a thing until Anne employed some more force. "Stay here. Take over my duties. Remember that she was fine after the first. She will be fine after the second -- if you do exactly what they tell you. I have to give Frederick some instructions." Before he could answer, she was out of the room.
"Anne, I --" Frederick began when he perceived her. He hoped the time had finally come to speak to her. She did seem to notice him now, because she was coming straight towards him and she even smiled. He supposed his niece was normal.
"Not now, not now," she said hurriedly. When he did not follow her, she ran back to pull him by the hand. The men in this house needed to be shaken into action, she noticed. "Come with me. You have to do something for me. And quickly."
"But --" He followed her in confusion to a writing desk, where she began to scribble something on a piece of paper.
"This," she said, pressing it into his hand. "You must get immediately."
An errand was at least constructive and it would make him feel useful, although he had no idea why they had left it until after the birth to get a bassinet. Anne implied there was some urgency, so he nodded. It was not the time to ask, but to act.
She followed him towards the door. There she finally smiled. "When you come back --" But she checked herself with a shy look that quickly turned into briskness. "Find an alternative if they have none." Then she ran back upstairs and upset some drawers in the nursery to find more blankets and clothing.
He hoped she was right about her sister having a bassinet. He had committed her scribbles to memory, but he had the note in case he forgot. The bassinet was in the nursery, Anne had written. He wondered what Mrs Musgrove would say if he asked for it. Anne had not reckoned with the possibility that she might refuse. And was he to say it was for Sophia? What would be the reaction to that? He did not want to explain anything. There was no time for that.
Why had neither Sophia nor Anne thought they might need one? He had the greatest reliance on the good sense of both, so this oversight puzzled him.
When he arrived at Uppercross Cottage, Mr and Mrs Musgrove were said to be out. It was good they were and surprisingly the manservant who answered the door did not think their presence or consent necessary either. He might have considered it a strange request, but it came from Miss Elliot and without wasting any words on the subject he led Frederick to the nursery. There was nobody there.
A sort of basket containing a mutilated doll would be what Anne meant, they supposed, although neither had very much expertise in the matter. He left the doll behind and hoisted the basket onto his horse.
Anne returned just in time to see a colourful family -- two members were purple and one was red in the face. "You look as purple as your baby, Admiral!" she said cheerfully, happy to see she was not too late to hand over a cloth, although Sophia had been much faster than she had expected. And Sophia looked fine again, just as she had expected, merely a little exhausted from the efforts. "Another girl?"
He gave her a weak smile. "Will she -- will she come to look like her sister soon?"
"James thought they would come out clean, rosy-cheeked and smiling," Sophia said a little tiredly, patting his leg. "Instead they look exactly as if they were squeezed out of somewhere pleasant in a manner they did not appreciate at all. Why do you not go and arrange for another basket, my dear, while we clean up?"
"But I sent Frederick away to get one," Anne spoke up.
"Anne, you are an angel!" she cried. "But where did Frederick come from?"
"He was on the doorstep. I did not ask what he was doing there. Shall I take him away?" she asked with an eye on the admiral. He looked as if he was in need of a drink.
Posted on Saturday, 12 August 2006
"Two girls!" Admiral Croft exclaimed over his drink. "Two!" He had to say it out loud, because he could still not believe it. He had reckoned with the possibility that he might have one daughter, but not two. He had not thought he would have more than one child at all. From now on he had two. Although he knew it sometimes happened, he did not understand how two could have been inside Sophia. It must have been crowded.
"I am very happy for you," said Anne. She had made him sit and she had got him a drink, because he was too preoccupied to remember where everything was.
He wondered about dinner. Could she walk? Apparently everything had gone well, although he preferred some battle where he was in charge of his own fate. He would like Sophy to come down to dinner. That would prove she was all right. It was of course possible to speak to her upstairs, but he would like her to be all right. "But my poor Sophy! To have had all that inside her! No wonder it was constantly moving. Will she come to dinner, do you think?"
"Ordinary women would not, but I should not dare to make any comment about Sophia in that regard."
"She seemed to be over it quite quickly," he said hesitantly. "She could smile and talk, but it all looked quite painful to me."
"Yes, I am reconsidering my wishes," Anne said with a sigh. "Or can one be married without ever having this happen?"
He had vaguely heard her say something. "I am sorry. What did you say?"
"I am reconsidering my wishes. Or can one be married without ever going through this?"
The admiral clearly weighed his answer. It took him some time. "You must ask Sophia or Frederick, not me. What were your wishes before this?"
"A family…" Anne said with a dreamy expression, thinking of the two adorable little babies upstairs. They had captured her heart instantly, although the manner in which they had come into the world was rather discouraging. "But I cannot speak to Frederick about this." That was a disconcerting suggestion.
"He is the only person you should speak to in this regard. Or do you plan to marry someone else?"
"No, but --" She blushed. There was so much else to say first and they had not managed to do that so far. "Thank you for getting the basket for me, but perhaps I do not want to bear your children anymore? I cannot say that."
"I always knew you wanted something more from Frederick than mere conversation," he said rather triumphantly. "But dinner -- what do you think?"
"Got it," Frederick interrupted them.
Anne jumped up. "Wonderful!" She was just as happy at seeing him as she was at seeing what he had brought.
"Tell me why this was needed," he said, awkwardly dangling the basket off one hand. If she wanted to jump into his arms, that basket was very much in the way. "And why nobody thought of getting it sooner."
"You have two nieces, not one," she explained as she joined him by the door. "We must take it upstairs."
"Two nieces! Is your foot all right now?" he asked, watching her run up the stairs. Two nieces! He was a bit slow to realise it. That was an explanation for the second basket that had not occurred to him at all.
"Much better," she called back. It still hurt a little bit, especially after having been so busy that morning, but she had no time to dwell on that now.
She hurried to Sophia's door and knocked. Then she looked in. Much work had been done. Sophia was lying on the small sofa while the bed was being made with fresh sheets. There were two bundles on her chest that she was watching in bemused contentment.
"Sophia? We have brought the other basket." Anne reached back and pulled Frederick with her. He had followed dutifully and kept himself within reach, but the ease with which she found his hand did not register with her.
"They like lying on top of me, it seems," Sophia replied. "But that will be a bit troublesome at dinner, so it is good they each have a place to sleep. Frederick! What are you doing here? Come and admire your nieces. Had you heard there were two?"
Anne watched him kneel beside his sister and speak to her very softly. She wondered only now why he had come. There had not been time for that before. He could not have known the birth was imminent, so he must have come for other reasons. She felt strangely excited inside, yet a little ashamed of not having acknowledged him properly so far. He must have come for her, yet all she had done was treat him like a servant.
She had done what she must, however, and she should leave them alone to admire their daughters and nieces together. She was not related. Not yet, Sophia would say, but she still felt the difference.
In the corridor, she wondered whether to go to her room or to go back to the admiral. Very likely he was still pondering the all-important question of whether Sophia would be fit enough to dine with him. She truly wished Sophia was fit and hungry enough for that, but there was nothing she could say.
Another thought struck her. If she insisted on speaking to Frederick, she should not hide in her own room. He might not go there after having been brushed off twice already. He had seemed inclined to talk to her, but she did not know whether he would come to her room for it. What he would certainly do, however, was go to his own room.
There was nobody there. The person who had made everything neat and tidy and unpacked his trunk was now gone. The only evidence of that activity were the clean clothes laid out on the bed. Anne could enter without anybody noticing. She looked around, but there was not much to see.
She sat in a chair by the fire and hugged her knees. After the hectic events of that morning she needed a little peace. The events she had witnessed had all been new to her. They might even have been distressing, but there had been no time to think of that. Some of the recollections now made her shudder, although if she thought of the two small bundles on Sophia's chest these images were dispelled quickly enough. They were definitely worth the distress. Perhaps she wanted some after all.
Frederick's ignorant reaction made her smile. She should have pushed him out of the room, but she had a faint memory of grasping his hand instead. She blushed for that now, but seemingly he had either not noticed or not minded. Perhaps he had needed the comforting touch as much as she had. After all, he had clearly not known what might happen, not having had the benefit of an explanation beforehand, and it must have been distressing and disgusting to him.
After a while she set her feet back on the floor, watching the door with some nervousness. He ought to come in to change his clothes at some point, because he had been riding all day. Anne deemed her own appearance good enough for dinner. She did not want to run the risk of missing him because she was busy with such a trifling matter as her dress. They might not be alone at dinner if the admiral had his way. They might be four, although she would not put it past him to make it six.
Although she had been imagining what she would do and say if Frederick came, she did not do any of that when he really appeared. It was not her fault -- he did not look the way she had expected him to look.
Apparently he had removed his coat and waistcoat in some hurry in the corridor, because he now came in with his shirt over his head. Anne supposed it was Frederick, but she had to wait until the shirt was no longer obscuring his face. One more agonising moment and it turned out to be Frederick indeed, very pleasant to behold and very much devoid of any sort of drawings on his body. He kicked the door shut behind him with his heel and tossed his clothes onto the bed.
Anne rose from her chair. Just in time, it appeared -- he was beginning to fumble with his trouser buttons. "F-F-Frederick," she addressed him. There was really enough to make her stammer, although she did not particularly like being so silly.
He started and stared, beginning to look hopeful.
"I am glad to see you have none," Anne said to explain her own staring. Did she mind half-undressed sailors? She could answer that question now.
He did not understand. "None of what?"
"None of those drawings. The admiral has one here." She stepped forward and lightly brushed his arm with her fingers. "It says Sophia underneath and Sophia said you had at least ten. That would be more than one woman a year and -- well, I am glad you came in like this so I could settle this matter before I speak to you." She was glad she had found a decent reason to stare.
"Anne," he said, looking a little alarmed at the consequences of his own actions. "What did Sophia say?"
"That you sent her drawings."
"They were mostly drawings of anchors and animals I had seen on other men -- and I really do not understand how she could take me seriously, because…" He glanced down to observe his arms and chest uncomprehendingly. "…after a certain number of them I could have no place left and they would have to be on my back, from where I could not possibly copy them."
Anne turned him around. There was nothing there either. She smiled. "Nothing. Good."
"Er…" He reached for his trouser buttons again.
Anne stopped his fingers in shock. "No."
"But --"
"Now I can speak to you." She glanced at her hand. If he began to do other things she would be too distracted to speak.
Frederick took her hand off his fingers. It was rather distracting. "Now I can speak to you. How are we to settle that?"
She smiled encouragingly. "You may go first."
He knew how to begin now. "For eight years I was the cause of my own pain, not you, not anyone else." She wanted to protest, but he laid a finger across her lips. He should not be stopped now he was finally speaking. "And yours. I was too proud and I refused to understand your situation. When I saw you again I behaved…well, you remember how I behaved."
"But you were hurt," Anne said softly. "I knew you were. I wanted to apologise, but I did not think you would accept. It would not have been enough to undo it. As if it was nothing to me. As if I could refuse you without feeling and then accept you when it suited me better."
"It would have been too soon," he agreed. "For me. I was still…not seeing. I came to see it, though. Can you forgive me? Please tell me you think --" he drew in his breath and gave her a pleading look. It had been easier to think the words than to speak them. "Could you love me again?"
"Again?" she asked even more softly. "Still. But wait," she said when he wanted to speak. There were some matters she had been wanting to see cleared up and now she had the chance she should not forget about them. "Why did you stay in my room? Why did you step on my foot? Why did you kiss me?"
He groaned. "Of those, your foot is the only incident of which I have absolutely no good memories. I apologise for having some positive thoughts about the others. I should not. I stayed in your room because…I did not want to leave without saying anything, because everyone is always disregarding you, but I did not know what to say. Do you really have to ask me why I kissed you?"
She supposed she did not and her eyes began to shine. "But you told me it was a mistake when you came into my room," she said in a gentle voice. "There was no need to say more."
"You went to bed! I had no idea what you were thinking. Should I simply have left?" The admiral had said he could have. He still hesitated to believe that.
"But what could I do? I thought I had best leave you alone. You looked very upset." She had not thought of sitting down with him for a pleasant chat.
"Remember where I was! Of course I was upset."
"I am in your room now and I am not upset in the least. I knew it was yours when I went in. It was all deliberate." She was a little nervous, but far from upset. It was going to end well.
"But did you trust me at least? The admiral said I should not have assumed you would know you could trust me."
Anne looked puzzled. "What did he think you would do? Kiss me?" She tried to imagine what would have happened then. They might have been married by now.
Frederick's eyes widened. "I hope he did not think anything, but he suggested to me that you might have been afraid of my taking advantage of you."
"It never crossed my mind." She decided to be bold. "Did it cross yours?"
He shook his head. "Selfish and preoccupied as I was, it only crossed my mind that you would not take advantage of me, contrary to some others, perhaps."
She knew whom he meant. "But…why did you think you could not say no?"
"I could, but with which effects? It would all be much easier if girls admitted to chasing me, but they would never. What if I spoke too harshly to someone who had no intentions at all? Or even to someone who had been assuming I was encouraging her? How would it look, if I seemingly encouraged her and then rejected her harshly when she took the bait? Such things began to occur to me as well and that is why I stayed."
"Until you stepped on my foot even I believed you were encouraging her."
"No!" he said in alarm. "But if even you did, she and others must have thought so for certain."
"Perhaps. They pitied you because you were forced to help me around."
"There was no need to pity me. Well, in the beginning when I was forced to carry you upstairs, I felt I deserved everyone's pity. I thought it would be weak of me if I loved you again, but of course it was weak of me not to realise…" Frederick stopped. "That I could and did still love you."
She smiled. He had admitted it. Everything would be perfect now.
"I refused to examine my feelings and then, when I knew, I had already behaved so abominably that I felt you could never respect me, even though most of it had happened because I wanted to remain in your company. I thought I had no choice but to leave. I did not mean to kiss you. I meant to explain."
"I should have pulled you back," she said with some regret. "But I did not know very much about kissing and I was a little surprised. After you left I wondered what I should have done differently, what I should have said and done to keep you there. Do not blame yourself alone. You were not the only one who did not speak."
Anne embraced him with her good arm. This felt better than being carried and she leant against him as much as she could. A few tears escaped her. He whispered something in her ear that she could not quite make out, but its tone was unmistakable. "Frederick," she mumbled when his fingers caressed her back. "I insist that you marry me."
"When?"
"As soon as you can."
"In spite of everything?" He raised his head a little so he could look her in the eye. He contemplated kissing her, but unfortunately they had not yet finished talking. It was a foolish thought -- talking came first and there would be enough time for other things if the talking had gone well.
"Because of everything." Anne saw some wetness on his cheek and she gently wiped it with her sleeve. "I cried on you."
"I am not sure you did." He blinked. "I was going to ask you, Anne. I came back to make you say yes. If you had not ordered me…"
She smiled. "I am sorry. You drove me to it. But were you going to persuade me with words or…"
Frederick's eyes grew wide again. Perhaps she could read his mind. "Are you susceptible to other kinds of persuasion?"
"Not by themselves, but a mixture, I think…" No, she could not object to a mixture. "I wish my arm was not broken. It is in the way."
"Anne! When did you grow so bold? I thought you would disapprove of…this." But he was immensely pleased that she did not. It made their new understanding so much more agreeable, since he did not think Anne would behave like this with anybody. It was only for him.
"I disapproved of your not listening to me," she said teasingly. She was too happy to disapprove of anything. "When I said nothing had been ruined."
He could not be surprised. It was exactly what Edward had said. He had to defend himself again. "But I have such a high opinion of your character that I assumed you would severely condemn such a liberty as I had taken." He must sound awful, but he did not know how else to say it.
"Because you did."
"Yes, I did."
"I know. You see, I asked the admiral how you might have felt in order to understand you better -- and certainly your departure."
Frederick coloured instantly. "Oh god, no. He can only have made me look absolutely ridiculous. Even Edward did."
Anne kissed his cheek because such a reassurance was called for. Although she surprised herself, she was not yet as bold as Sophia. "Oh no. He implied he had been rather affected when such a thing happened to him and he had even been married at the time. He was very sympathetic towards you, much more sympathetic than Sophia expected."
"You told both." He was mortified. "The entire family knows. And two of them never allow each other's foolishness to be forgotten, so this does not at all bode well for mine. I shall have to suffer it for the rest of my life."
"And you will have to suffer me too. I am glad I told them, because now I know I ought to be happy with the pleasantness of it, not concerned."
He was not yet used to this Anne and gave her a hesitant look. "I suppose it makes a difference to you that we are to be married."
"Certainly it does. If you were to do this to all and sundry I could not be happy with it at all."
"I have never even felt the inclination!" He thought for a second. "No, I lie. I never did it to you all those years ago, but I did think of it. Often. Perhaps too often."
"Often! I never thought of it at all then!" She looked a little surprised, but then changed her expression into a smile. "Perhaps I was too young, because I do now."
Posted on Tuesday, 15 August 2006
"So this is what is more interesting than dinner," said a voice near the door. "But what am I to tell my poor Sophy, who made the effort of coming downstairs to dine in company?"
Frederick looked up. "What are you doing there? In my room without knocking?" It would not have been any problem if Anne had not been here, but she was and from a sharp intake of breath he gathered she was much more mortified than he was.
"I came to see what was taking you. I did not think it was wise to send a servant, but I am sure everybody in the house already knows what you are doing. The door was ajar." Admiral Croft shook his head at such an oversight. He crossed his arms and studied the couple.
"Nothing."
"Aye, come and lie beside me, said Sophy in a devil of a thunderstorm, and nothing will happen to me. How wrong she was! It is tiny and it cries, twice. Mind you," he said very seriously. "You may well have only one. A little cousin for our girls."
Frederick stood up and helped Anne off the bed. It seemed his offence was not too great, because those comments were too ridiculous. He certainly did not think any little cousins were in the making, not here. "You will get one first from Edward in June."
"Edward! I am very glad to hear that, but do not distract me in that manner. Come and tell Sophy the good news. She wants to dine in articulate company."
Frederick wondered which part of the news was good -- that he had been found here with Anne or that Edward's wife was expecting a child? Most people would consider it rather shocking that he had not bothered to pick up a shirt to prevent Anne from blushing, he supposed, but it had not occurred to him -- and it did not seem to have occurred to her to blush very much at the sight. "Are you not articulate enough for her?" He was not certain he could be a good conversationalist if these matters were on his mind.
"She wants you and Anne. Preferably suitably attired. Anne, perhaps we should step out of the room while Frederick finishes his dressing? He seems to have been interrupted by something or someone." He should at least prevent Anne from seeing trousers being changed. The poor girl might not survive, if he remembered his own wife, who had had stronger sensibilities too.
Anne agreed to this with a blush. She joined him in the corridor and stared at her feet. She could never have imagined that she would once be discovered on a bed with a partially undressed man, although nothing had been happening and the admiral had a wife who liked to see him like that, so he might not lecture too harshly. Still, she deserved every word of it. Going in here was one thing, but then not asking him to dress was another.
"Anne," said the admiral, who was clearly on the verge of giving in to some great amusement. "Do not tell me you took off some of his clothes in order to see whether he had any tattoos."
"You would love that," she stated a little uncertainly. He was amused, not angry.
"Yes, yes, that would be exactly the sort of thing I love."
Her embarrassment faded away slowly and she could feel calmer. "Unfortunately for you he did it himself before he had seen that I was there -- but it was convenient indeed. You may have seen he has none."
"That is hardly the first thing at which a man would look, Anne. But you must know what you are getting yourself into before you marry," he nodded. "His character only, of course."
"It would not have reflected well on his character had he been covered with hearts and names!" she exclaimed, very likely too loudly, for the door was opened and Frederick pulled her back in.
"I am bad at keeping an eye on you, I see," Admiral Croft remarked when Anne came out again grinning. He had not made any move to go after her, however. He had stood here and waited for them to realise dinner was waiting.
"You need not be concerned. Our little conversation had to do with his character. There is no need to keep an eye on me." She tried to control her grin. He loved her. He had loved none but her. It was difficult not to feel happy.
"Is there ever anyone who thinks the opposite?"
But they could be trusted. "He is older than you were when you married. Even I am!"
"Does that make you wiser? I was perhaps not extremely wise, but I was even-tempered, whereas Frederick is more tempestuous. You had best rein him in a little."
"I have not noticed anything of the sort." Although she would defend him instantly whatever the accusation, he had indeed been calm and even a little hesitant. There was nothing to rein in. Perhaps it was her own happiness that needed some restraint.
"Do you really think I opened doors with such violence and dragged my wife into rooms?" He usually asked her if he wished her to come in. He did not pull her.
She supposed not, but it had not been quite as bad as he presented it -- and it had been a quite useful and pleasant interlude of which he would not hear the particulars. No. She blushed. "But to be honest, you never have someone like you looking on, do you? And perhaps he thought that if he did not pull me quickly enough, you would pull me back."
"Well, I look out for my sisters too, but I do not go to such silly lengths. You silly girl! What gives me the right to pull at a girl who evidently enjoys being pulled in the opposite direction?" he said with a smile. He lowered his voice so Frederick would not hear. "I am more in favour of slowness myself, but I honestly cannot see anyone proceed with caution after such a long time."
"It was a long time for me too," Anne said with a dignified look. She was surprised, but also a little proud that she had developed the ability to silence Admiral Croft.
He did not speak until Frederick reappeared. "Ahead with you," he said to Anne. "Ladies first, I mean. We shall follow."
"Oh, what now?" Frederick groaned softly. He fully expected another lecture.
"Are you not a bit rough-handed with her?"
"I am not. Is that all that worries you? Not the possibility of little cousins?" This surprised him a little, although he was certain it had been clear that none were going to appear any time soon.
"That was a private joke."
Frederick groaned louder now. "Why make such private jokes to me?"
"Who cares if you understand, as long as it amuses me?"
"Did you think we would not have dinner today?" asked Sophia, whose look of impatience gave way to a smile when they entered. "But of course I need to eat. I have two babies to feed."
"How are you feeling? I thought you would be in bed," said Frederick.
"And as such you felt you needed not hurry? I am not an invalid. And eating in bed is very messy. If I can sit up there, I can sit up here." The only difficulty she had encountered was that she had to leave her twins upstairs. Fortunately they had been asleep when she left and they would not notice her absence, if they could notice that at all.
"Frederick has some news," said the admiral as he sat down.
Frederick did not look pleased with being forced to make an announcement. He saw a way to thwart the admiral's plans. "About Edward. He will be a father in June."
"Oh!" Sophia cried. "That is wonderful news! Edward! Already! June? When was the boy married again? And does he know about us? I suppose you told him."
"I did, but I could not tell him when the birth was due, because…er…I forgot to ask." He looked ashamed of himself. "Edward would have written instantly, but he did not know where you were staying. He was very happy for you as well."
Sophia looked from Frederick to Anne and back. She did not doubt they had been found somewhere together. Frederick had left her in a hurry to change for dinner, but when she had appeared here, late due to the babies, he was not here at all and neither was Anne. "And that was all?"
"Was that not enough?" he asked in an arch manner, but he could see it did not fool her. She had been waiting for this for weeks.
"Considering how I found certain people," said the admiral. "There will be more."
"Considering how certain people look," Sophia added. "I am not surprised."
Anne blushed fiercely at her soup. She thought she had not looked much at Frederick, but apparently Sophia had seen enough happiness in her grin.
"Will this be before or after I am able to leave the house?"
"Before, is my recommendation," said her husband. "Why wait? They do not even need a house, unless they do not want to stay with us."
"I am certain you are done meddling," Frederick muttered. He would not have any objections to staying and neither would Anne. This had always been her home. He would do what she wished.
"I am too busy for that," Sophia admitted with a proud blush. "The girls can do very little at present but suckle and cry, but they do not do so at the same time."
"Aye, at present they are still very stupid little creatures," the admiral agreed.
"James!"
He smiled at her. "They are the most beautiful girls in the world -- if they take after you." He could not yet see whom they resembled.
"My father thought you looked well too," Anne offered. He should not undervalue himself. Her father rarely approved of anybody's looks.
"My hair did and for a sailor assumed to be approaching sixty I do look well indeed." He was unaffected by either the praise or the censure. "Frederick may look as if he is approaching sixty in ten years as well."
"As if I care." Frederick was certain he would not.
"I wished for adult company," Sophia reminded them. "You never told me where you got the other basket."
"I sent him to my sister's house," Anne said quickly. She had forgotten to inquire how it had gone. Knowing Mary it might have cost some effort to get her to agree. "Were they home? Did she make any trouble?"
"Nobody was at home but a servant and when he heard you were the one who requested it, he gave it to me instantly." Evidently Anne's name carried some weight. He was not really surprised to discover it.
Anne knew the young man and she nodded in appreciation of his helpfulness. "Mary may never find out. I do not think she goes into the nursery much and Jemima, if she was not there, may have been out without permission and as such she could not report it. Frank, if he fears he might be scolded, may not tell Mary either."
"Well, Anne," Sophia cut in. "I cannot have you steal your sister's property for my sake. I shall send her a note to inform her she will have it back as soon as I have had occasion to purchase one for myself."
"But Mary will not have any immediate need for the basket," Anne protested. "I think she can be persuaded to lend it to you until you may replace it with a more bed-like thing. She has not truly complained of ill health." She caught a glance passing between the two gentlemen that did not quite lead to snickers on either side, but to something very close to it.
"You will never guess what I heard from Frank," Charles Musgrove said to his wife. "Anne is engaged to Captain Wentworth and Mrs Croft had a litter."
"Anne?" Mary cried.
"Yes, yes, she had Captain Wentworth borrow a basket of ours, so obviously they are engaged." Frank had not actually said so -- he had merely said Captain Wentworth had borrowed a basket for Miss Elliot -- but the underlying message was clear.
"I do not see how that follows."
"Why else would he run errands for her?" Charles did not see how it did not follow. A man would otherwise not do such things. "And I had a note from Mrs Croft just now to tell me about her litter." He repeated that again, since Mary had no interest in it whatsoever. Even if she did, he would tell her he had burnt that note already and she could not check the exact phrasing.
"You are so vexing, Charles!" Mary cried. "How could Anne be engaged? She hardly spent any time in his company and he does not care for her at all."
He did not know the answer to that question either and he had not yet cared. "In Lyme? And now that he is back, I suppose. What with Mrs Croft being busy with her litter, there is nobody for Anne."
"Why do you keep going on about that litter? Why do you assume I care at all?"
He kept going about it because he assumed she did not care, but he could not say so. "She borrowed one of our baskets for it."
"I should not care if she borrowed ten! She is welcome to all of them."
Charles scribbled something down and rang for Frank. Mary's consent was best obtained without her awareness and he sent off a brief reply to Mrs Croft. She was welcome to keep their basket for as long as she needed it.
"I must walk to your family as soon as possible to see what they know," Mary decided. That it was late and dark did not appear to deter her.
"Unless Mrs Croft has been borrowing baskets everywhere I say they know nothing. What a joke." He was amused at knowing it before everyone else did.
"You are very tiresome."
"Why do you not call at Kellynch? I am sure they are better informed about themselves there."
"But Anne…and Captain Wentworth." Mary's mind began to consider the advantages of such a match. It was only logical that her own sister should make a better match than the Musgroves. An Elliot had a greater right to it and had she not always thought of the captain for Anne? Yes, she was sure she had. "How large was his fortune, did you say?"
"The same as I told you three days ago."
"It would be a splendid match for my sister."
He realised his own relatives might be less pleased with such a development. "For anyone's sister."
After dinner Sophia lay down on one of the sofas. "I have no company upstairs," she complained in a voice that did not sound very plaintive. "And yet no sofa in the sitting room to make it possible for all of you to come there -- and someone should keep an eye on you and Frederick."
"We are old enough to keep an eye on ourselves," Anne assured her, though with a little blush that indicated they would accept more transgressions from themselves than any onlooker would. She changed the subject. "Are you very tired?"
"I am lying down because I was told I should, not because I think it is conducive to anything, not yet. I was also told the girls will keep me awake all night, so tomorrow I may well be more tired. Has Frederick spoken to you?"
"He has." She began to smile.
"Yes, I surmised he had. Did he do it well?"
"Yes, yes."
"Did he kiss you again too?"
Anne hesitated for a moment. That she had once divulged such a private anecdote did not mean she would continue to do so. However, if she did not say anything she suspected that the admiral would give Sophia his own version of what he had interrupted and that seemed to be a little beside the truth. "Could you tell the admiral that nothing else happened? He is now imagining babies everywhere."
Sophia laughed. He could never do any wrong. "After all those years of assuring me we needed nothing more he is certainly adjusting perfectly to our addition. He now wishes them upon everybody."
"I am really happy that you had two at once." Anne took out her handkerchief. That they had been reassuring each other before only meant that they were truly delighted now.
"I am very happy that we are all happy."
Posted on Friday, 18 August 2006
The gentlemen remained in the dining room a little longer. Before Frederick would be given a lecture again, he was determined to ask for advice, since that would make him feel better about himself. He was no longer a boy and he would prefer not to be treated like one. He was an engaged man -- again -- and it would be his duty to make sure he had a happy wife. "Edward told me he had asked you for advice," he said in a low voice before the admiral could get up.
Admiral Croft was too caught up in his own thoughts to hear the entire sentence. "What were your parents thinking when they named you Eddie and Freddie?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"I have to name two girls now, but it is occurring to me that some parents are very strange indeed. What happened to Teddy?"
"It was a coincidence, unlike some who had five sons with matching names." Frederick repeated his words. "Edward told me he had asked you for advice."
"A sensible young man, Edward."
Frederick decided not to waste any time on analysing Edward's character. "It seems you told him my knowledge might be deficient." It still rankled that he had been spoken about in such a manner, to his brother, no less. One could never trust brothers to let that lie, not even Edward, it appeared.
"I am sure you are like all of us and your knowledge is deficient in many areas. Which one precisely?"
"You know which area," he said testily. "It had to do with happy wives."
"Hmm." Admiral Croft studied his glass pensively. "Oh yes. He wanted a happy wife and most people who come to consult him do not seem to have them. Sophia, who looked rather well, if I may say so, and who was delighted with our little secret and Edward's marriage, struck him as very happy. So he asked me how I had accomplished that."
"And you had to tell him my knowledge was deficient? Why bring me into it at all?"
"I had to. He is your elder brother and he was rather surprised that I had already told you something when you were sixteen. Not that he was as ignorant as you were, mind you, but still. I felt that perhaps a little reassurance was in order. I do not have such competitions with my brothers. They could not care less if I knew more. He asked me about you and I was forced to say something about the extent of your knowledge."
"But deficient?"
"Considering that I imparted my own deficient knowledge to you at the time, that might well be a possibility."
"Your knowledge cannot have been deficient. At the time it struck me as overly detailed and Sophia did not strike me as unhappy either." As far as he could remember she had always been rather pleased with her marriage. He had never heard a word of complaint that was not delivered with a smile.
"The two actually have very little to do with each other. I never wanted to speak to you at all and certainly not then." He did not recall how he had managed to get to the end of it, but apparently he had. The idea that Frederick thought he had lectured voluntarily almost made him gasp. "Sophia forced me -- but I see she was right, because it seems to have kept you out of trouble. You should ask Anne now, not me."
"You lectured Anne too?" Frederick cried. That would be wholly inappropriate.
The admiral was, in spite of the subject, rather amused at that look. "I am sure Sophia did, because she has a tendency to speak too much. Ask either of them what has been discussed."
He did not think he would. "Yes. Ask Anne. Really."
"You know Anne much better than I knew Sophia. And Anne, I think, knows much more than Sophia knew, although she would never give you an inkling. But let us not waste time here. The ladies will become suspicious."
As they were all seated by the fire, a servant came to say the babies were restless. Sophia suspected they were hungry and she eagerly got up to feed them. The admiral was interested in watching and he was not even ashamed to admit it.
Anne did not mind being left alone with Frederick. There was still much to talk about. That some of that conversation was highly repetitive was not minded by either of them.
When they retired, they found Admiral Croft pacing through the corridor upstairs with an infant in his arms. He turned at the end and retraced his steps, seemingly intent on walking back and forth. This forced Frederick to stop at bidding Anne a chaste good night, although he was not certain what he might have done had nobody been around. "Keeping watch?" he asked when Anne had gone into her room.
"She will cry if I put her down," said the proud father.
"Why?"
"Because she does not yet know I shall still be around tomorrow."
"Do you have to insert double meanings into all your speeches?" Frederick asked with a groan. "I take it you are indeed keeping watch and let me tell you there is no need to be concerned about me. Good night," he said pointedly.
Anne thought she had never been so happy in her life. They had talked everything over three, four times, but they had talked and talked with increasing ease. Not even Admiral Croft's transparent patrolling could do anything to change her mood. Frederick might have kissed her if the admiral had not been there, but since he had already done so downstairs she could not regret this much.
And he knew what he wanted now. He had assured her of that and she had believed him. His behaviour was very different now. It was even a little different from eight years ago, as far as she could remember. He was older too.
Their time in his room alternately made her giggle and blush. That Admiral Croft had interrupted them did not do much for her composure either. He had implied that some more progress might have led to a child, because that appeared to have been the case for him. His warning came a bit early, Anne felt, although such increasing familiarity could only serve to make the bounds of propriety blurry at best.
Frederick was very proper, though, and he evidently still believed her to be a much finer lady than she believed herself. He had even asked if he might kiss her. He would certainly not stay here, whatever the admiral might be thinking.
The admiral was not thinking about them a great deal anymore after he had his amusement. He had returned to his room and was instantly reminded that for the next twenty years he was his daughters' servant. Everything he had to do was suddenly connected to them, from thinking he ought to write to his father without causing any seizures in the family, to wondering about names.
Sophia was adamantly against naming the girls after ships, not even the one on which they were conceived, and she was equally decided against shocking his family in too direct a manner. She feared that with only two men separating him from becoming the head of the family, the risk of killing them with the news of two granddaughters or nieces was too large. All the younger ones would then have to come and live with them.
After having thought about the matter before he fell asleep and after he woke up, Frederick decided he could not battle his curiosity. He had to wait a while until he saw Anne and was forced to listen to his brother-in-law complain about the difficulty in finding names for girls if he was not allowed to think of ships.
When he could escape, he found Anne in the nursery. He took her aside and addressed her in an agitated whisper, although neither of the babies would understand a thing. "Why does he imply you are the better informed of the two of us?"
"That depends on the subject," she responded with a baffled look. It was hardly the greeting she would have expected after a long night of separation. "What are you talking about?"
"Did either of them give you a lecture about certain subjects?"
She grew even more baffled by his blush. "I had plenty of lectures, if you insist on calling them thus." They had mainly been prodding her to speak her mind.
"Certain subjects," he said almost inaudibly, not knowing how else to refer to the matter without shocking her.
"About many subjects."
Frederick decided he had to use another approach. He frowned and spoke quickly. "When I was sixteen my captain gave me an awful lecture about what a man was supposed to do with his wife, only with his wife and not with anybody else -- not only the why but also the how and the when. I cannot imagine anything was missing from this account, but he told Edward he should speak to me again because his knowledge had been deficient at the time. But now he told me to ask you."
Anne looked startled. "Me?" She was certain she could not be of help. Even if she could, she would not be willing, not about such a subject.
"Did either of them…"
"He did not speak to me about these matters."
That was a small relief. "But Sophia did?"
"Yes, I suppose," she said hesitantly. "But what she said confused me and I have tried not to ask anything, because I did not think I ought to take an interest." She coloured for implying she had taken an interest in spite of that.
"Why then did he tell me to ask you as if you were better informed?"
"Because it would rile you?" she guessed, tentatively relieved that the admiral had not really wanted her to explain anything to Frederick. She did not understand why he worried; he had eyes and a well-working mind. "Because he would derive some amusement from having you ask me? Because you obviously do not like being less informed?"
He said nothing. He supposed she was right.
His dark glare almost made her smile. "The next time he says anything about it, could you not calmly say you look forward to discussing it with me? I cannot say I do, because I do not, but it would silence him, would it not?"
"You do not want to discuss these subjects with me?" He was incredulous, although he had not known how he had wanted her to feel about this. Neither eagerness nor unwillingness, he supposed.
Anne leant towards him when the admiral appeared. "You know he does not even always mean precisely what you think he means. It very likely means your wife is to speak her mind about something or other, because that is all they have been telling me to do. Ask him. I am going to have something to eat."
Frederick stared after Anne as she walked away. She had not left him with the easiest assignment, but he refused to follow her down to breakfast, not in the least because he had already eaten.
"You do not look ecstatic, Frederick," Admiral Croft observed perceptively. "And why are you not going with her?"
"I dislike you immensely."
This lie had no negative effect whatsoever on the admiral's mood. "And that is why you stay in my company, of course, rather than go with Anne."
"You know I have already had breakfast. You and I ate together."
"That is only because there was no girl in sight and you were hungry, and furthermore not why you did not go with her now. Trouble already?"
"No, I think not. There was something that I had been wondering about…" Frederick spoke. He wanted to get away from this subject. "But for that we need to stay in the nursery."
"Ah! Please tell me you have acceptable names for them. Everything I have suggested has thus far been rejected by your sister."
Lady Russell called on Anne the same morning. She had a little something she wanted Anne to give to Sophia, expecting the latter to be unavailable, but she was surprised to see both ladies eating breakfast. "Was I misinformed?" Lady Russell asked. "I was told you had given birth, Mrs Croft."
"I did." Sophia looked and felt tired, but she was not too tired to smile.
Lady Russell offered her congratulations and her gift, although she looked very surprised and not a little shocked to find her up and about.
"Would you like to see them?" Sophia asked.
"Them?"
"There were two."
"Two! They never told me there were two. And I only brought one thing!" She looked a little distressed by that incivility.
"I thought each person would add a baby for good measure when they passed along the news," Sophia remarked. "I never knew they would reduce the number!" She led the way to the nursery, where the two gentlemen were staring at a partially undressed infant. "Do I have new nursery maids?"
Frederick recognised Lady Russell -- how could he not? -- but he sufficed with a curt nod, needing to keep his hands and his attention on his niece. He did not know what would happen if he took away his hand. She might roll away. This was more important now than dealing with their visitor. Many things would be.
"We sent her down for a cup of tea," Admiral Croft revealed.
"We discovered this baby has…done something," Frederick added, wrinkling his nose as he looked down. This should bring his sister to his rescue.
"It is always good to see everything is working," Sophia said brightly, but she did not move. "What made you look?"
"Er…" The gentlemen looked at each other, but neither seemed to have an explanation ready.
She raised her eyebrows. "I suppose neither of you reckoned with the possibility that one of them might have…done something?"
"Will you --" Frederick looked at his hands still holding the cloths. He could not leave her like this and he could not wrap her up again. "-- rescue me, Sophia?"
"Please," she said to her visitor, gesturing at one of the baskets. "Have a look at the other one." She joined her brother at the table. "What on earth are you doing?" she whispered.
He coloured and decided he had best be honest. "I wanted to see if the tail was gone."
She looked at him in amazement. "They are girls. They have no tail."
Frederick touched a bandage with a dignified look. He was certain of what he had seen. "It was here."
Her laughter came slowly, but it was unstoppable and she had to lean against him for support.
"Sophia…" he pleaded.
"I promise to overlook the matter if you will help me with this little one. Considering that you sent away the nursery maid, there is nobody else and I cannot do it alone yet. She will grow cold if we do nothing." She considered this an adequate punishment for his curiosity.
"Are you serious?" He looked down and nearly gagged.