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Posted on Friday, 7 July 2006
"I am sympathetic to stupidity, I said," Admiral Croft resumed. "But I feel he will start thinking once he has cooled off and he will come back to speak to you. You will listen to him, will you not?"
"Of course." If he said the right things, she would even say yes. She was in fact almost ready to ask him, although of course such a feeling was always stronger in theory than in practice.
"I shall not hurt him in any way, Anne. Remember where he has gone. His brother, thankfully, chose that profession because he wishes to help people, not because he enjoys moralising. Sophy and I like doing that much more. Frederick is not likely to be teased there or even vexed by anyone but himself. If you want to be found, you must stay with us. Fortunately our condition gives you enough of an excuse to keep us company."
The mention of their condition made her smile again.
He gave her a stern look. "I take my condition very seriously and you must not smile at it."
"But I approve of your seriousness very much." She was silent for a few moments. "Why does Sophia not agree with what she was told about how long it might take?"
"Apparently Sophia's calculations do not match her size." He shrugged. "I have known since last spring and I have asked her numerous times until the summer whether she was certain, because I could see nothing. All a man knows is that when a woman is with child, her belly swells up. For months on end many other things happened to Sophia, but not that, yet she kept insisting. I did not doubt her symptoms -- I even alerted her to some of them -- but a man who cannot feel what a woman is feeling would like to have visual proof that these symptoms indeed mean what she says they mean and that…you know what I mean."
"I am sorry, I do not."
"That…" He looked away. "Er…I did it right, finally."
"Ah, I see." She wished to tell him he had done it right, but he would know that already.
"Was it too simple of me to wish for a more immediate confirmation than discomfort in places that in my opinion could not be connected to anything?"
"My sister felt it everywhere, but then, she feels everything everywhere." She gave him a kind smile. "I do not think you were too simple or impatient. But I am very glad you can see and feel it now."
"I shall be infinitely more glad when it comes out, whenever that may be."
"Perhaps Sophia is not very large because she never was?" Anne suggested.
"I never thought she was, but should it not be more visible then? I know it is in there, but I have no idea how it fits in." He rolled up a cushion and pressed it against his waist, examining it. "I could not find fault with her calculations, although she has recently begun to say the child wants out sooner and this is where I start wondering. Why does it want that and how does she know? I feel left out. But who knows, Frederick might well find he has a nephew when he comes back."
Anne had to say it. "Or a niece."
"No, no. I cannot love two women."
"I could love two men if I had a son!" So far she did not even have her first man and he was somewhat required for the second. Perhaps the admiral would tell her that.
"Sophia has not thought of that one yet," he said in amusement. "She has not yet thought beyond my excellence in not loving two women. And what are you thinking now, of Frederick in particular?"
She blushed at this suddenness. "I do not know what to think. I think that for the moment I do not want to think very much about him at all."
There was nothing new to think about with regard to Captain Wentworth, not as long as he was not here to shed some light on his motivations. His sister and brother knew him well, but Anne could not shake off the feeling that they had seen but a little more of him in the past eight years than she had. They had corresponded, but they could not have met very often. He might have changed a little. Things might have happened to change him.
Such thoughts did not contribute to anything positive and Anne was resolved to put him out of her mind for the time being.
The next morning it turned out that Sophia had pressed her husband to leave for his family a little sooner, as soon as possible. He was inclined to indulge her, since there was nothing to keep him here either. Although he said he was not certain whom to believe, Sophia or a quack, it could not hurt in this case to heed her warnings. He agreed with her on leaving the next day.
This created a small problem for Anne, since they might be away before Lady Russell returned. She spent some time writing a letter to explain herself, which she might leave at Kellynch Lodge before they went on their way.
She also had to arrange for all her things to be brought over from Uppercross, preferably without telling Mary too much. This caused another hour of careful deliberation. Eventually she decided to go there herself, so that she might be in charge of any explanations. She could not walk very well and her left arm was still useless, but she thought she could manage.
Mary, it turned out, cared very little to where she was taking her things or even that it was a day earlier than planned. She hung about without helping, complaining of something or other. Anne tried to listen and answer, but she could not bring herself to be very interested. It was nothing new that Mary felt herself slighted again by the Musgroves.
"So the Crofts let you have their carriage," Mary said jealously, changing the subject.
"Yes, although I must give it back to them." The thought that she would abscond with it was preposterous and she almost laughed. She was not so desperate as to abuse it for that reason, to go to Shropshire for example. "They lent you their carriage to go home yesterday as well."
"But they did not think of coming along to call on me, did they?"
"They were packing, so I think not." In fact, she believed she could safely say they had not thought of it at all. Why should they?
"They could have considered to show me that courtesy, rather than only send their carriage. Are they calling on the Musgroves, do you think?"
"I do not see why they should have time for them and not for you," Anne said quietly.
"They could think they will be closer connected to them than to us, although Captain Wentworth did not behave very gallantly towards Louisa in Lyme."
"Yes, I quite agree it was more important for him to behave gallantly towards her than towards me," Anne said in a dry tone.
"I do not know what you are saying. He did not like it one bit that he had to help you around instead."
"I am sorry he felt that way." She told herself there could be no truth in anything Mary was saying. He did not like her and he would not speak to her if he could avoid it. Wherever Mary had obtained her information, it was not directly from him. "I did not have much of a choice, since I could not walk. Mary, do you think you could exert yourself to close my trunk for me?"
Mary stared.
Anne's left arm was still in a sling and she gave it a meaningful look. "I could probably call a servant too."
"Being back at Kellynch gives you all sorts of airs," Mary grumbled. She closed Anne's trunk with a show of reluctance, probably thinking her sister should indeed have called a servant for such a menial task.
"Thank you." Anne took the trunk in her right hand and hoped she would not fall down the stairs with it, but when she got there one of the footmen was waiting and rushed forward to assist her.
She felt as if she was lying, not telling Mary about her trip, but she could not bring herself to do it. Only now did it strike her that Mary, if she found out something had been kept from her, might never want to take her in again should she need a home. It was the sort of risk Anne was more capable of taking at her current age. Being back at Kellynch was giving her airs indeed.
There was still the question of what Lady Russell would think of her letter. She might feel betrayed by Anne breaking her word. And what would she think of she later came to hear that Mrs Croft was Captain Wentworth's sister? Not having mentioned that connection would be suspicious indeed if it came out later.
Driving past the Lodge she saw some signs of activity and her heart began to beat faster at this unexpected opportunity. She asked to be let out and called on a very surprised Lady Russell, who had just returned and who was in the middle of settling in again.
"Anne! Why are you limping?" she said after she had greeted her younger friend warmly. "And your arm! What happened?"
"I had an accident," Anne said dismissively. She did not want to make too much of it. Other matters were more important. "I came to speak to you about something else."
"Accident? Whose carriage is it? I was surprised to see it was you. I did not recognise it and wondered who would call on me so quickly without even knowing I had returned."
Anne looked grave. "It is Admiral Croft's carriage. I am staying with him and Mrs Croft and that is what I have to speak to you about."
This was a surprise. "Staying with them? Were there problems with Mary? And what of this accident? You look very serious. What is the matter?"
Anne was still dismissive about her accident. "I fell out of the admiral's gig and the Crofts insisted on taking care of me at Kellynch because I could not walk." She regretted that she could not give Lady Russell the greeting her friend deserved, not as long as she was still struggling to tell her something of great importance.
"That is very kind of them," said Lady Russell, although she was clearly not yet comprehending everything.
"Indeed, they are extremely kind and I was very well taken care of there. But you see, there is a problem. Mrs Croft is expecting a child and she needs assistance." Anne studied Lady Russell's face for a reaction to this directness.
"But I had understood they were an older couple." Lady Russell was confused. "He is an admiral. He cannot be very young. Does he have a very young wife?"
"Not very young, but she may look a little older than she is. But it is really true. I have felt the child myself. She let me feel it." Her eyes brightened at the memory. It had been amazing to feel that life.
Lady Russell was undecided about such behaviour. She frowned. "But Anne, why does she need you?"
"They are going away to visit relatives and she is afraid her child will come early and they have no women where she is going."
"This is very odd. It is a very strange story. Where could she be going that they have no women there? Did she not know this when she agreed upon the engagement?"
"But she has recently begun to think the child may come sooner. I suppose she had thought she would be back in time, as well as that she would not be quite as tired as she is now." Perhaps Sophia had overestimated herself a little bit. Her brother would have had similar confidence in himself -- but he must not be mentioned on any account.
Lady Russell's eyebrows shot up. "Am I to believe she is close to lying in? And she is thinking of travelling? What a strange woman she must be."
"No! She is simply not given to making a fuss about such matters. But you see, I believe her condition is catching up with her and she is becoming a little concerned. I offered…" Her voice trailed off as she awaited Lady Russell's reaction. She had dwelt for some time on imagining this reaction, but she at least had the knowledge that she was neither whimsical nor selfish. Lady Russell would be aware of that, as well as of the fact that such a change of plans had never occurred before. That knowledge of her character ought to make it easier to accept.
"You have offered to help her? But what do you know about it?"
Anne nodded. "But she needs no help; she needs company."
Lady Russell was astonished. "And does this woman value your company? Does she like you?" Such an appreciation of Anne would recommend the woman to her, if very little else did.
"I believe she does," she said hesitantly. "She has always treated me as if she did, long before she confided in me about her condition. It is not known to anyone else."
"How could it not be known to anyone else if she is at a point where it must be all too visible?"
"It is not very visible. It did not occur to me to suspect anything, because I really only had Mary's experiences in the past and you must remember that Mary could do nothing. Mrs Croft can still do almost everything."
"I certainly remember Mary. But…" Lady Russell was still trying to come to terms with this. "You are saying you will go with Mrs Croft as a friend?"
"Yes."
"Oh Anne," she sighed. "I could not stop you from going with a friend, but you are always all too helpful."
"Surely if they are respectable enough to be allowed to live at Kellynch, I may be friends with them?" Anne asked with a pout for which she berated herself.
"With both of them? With the admiral? With a man of his profession?"
Here was danger. Her friend had never reconciled herself to the virtues of sailors. "With a man of his character. If you wish, I could ask Mrs Croft to walk over with me later so you could meet her."
"I should be more at ease after having met her," Lady Russell agreed.
"I hope you are not too disappointed about my wanting to change our arrangement," Anne said with some hesitation. "I assure you that I gave it serious consideration. I did not care about leaving Mary and she cared only insofar as that she then had to take care of little Charles herself."
"Mary," Lady Russell sighed. "Anne, you have improved in looks and spirits, in spite of the broken arm. If we ought to thank your new friends for that, I cannot possibly oppose your going with them. There will be plenty of time for Bath. Where you are going they have no women, you said. Only men?"
"I am not going there for such a purpose," Anne said in alarm. "Besides, I am sure Admiral Croft's father is sixty-five at least." She did not know what other gentlemen they had there.
"He would sooner be eighty, Anne. Your father implied the admiral was his age."
"And he rather offended the admiral by telling him so. I think he is not fifteen years older than I am, but my father would be shocked to hear that."
Lady Russell was astonished, possibly at Anne's slightly mocking tone. "Still, you meet nobody here," she continued.
Anne said nothing. Lady Russell would come to hear about Captain Wentworth after she was gone, although if tales about him came from the Musgroves, Anne would not feature in any of them. It might not appear as if she had met him at all.
After a moment she cursed her foolishness. How could she not have met him if she had been staying with his sister and he had too?
"I think Lady Russell was a little concerned," Anne reported to Sophia. "She was always my mother's dearest friend and after my mother died she -- I was only fourteen then."
Sophia understood it even better now. Her own mother had died once. "She looked after you like I looked after my brothers, doing the best we could to keep our charges out of trouble," she said kindly. "And Frederick was -- and is -- trouble."
Anne bent her head to hide the tears that had sprung into her eyes. "He thought I should not have listened."
"How old were you? We thought about nineteen."
"Yes." She was no longer surprised to hear they had discussed it.
"Then quite obviously there is nothing else you could have done. It might have taken him four years until he could support you in a manner to which you were accustomed. Not seeing him all that while at such an age…" She shook her head. "It would have been a risk, a very great risk to grow older separately. But would you trust your charge to a suitor with nothing to recommend himself but his ardour?"
"Yes," Anne said in determination.
"Really, Anne? Is that why you want him to speak to you, not kiss you? I think you would like a little more than mere ardour."
She said nothing. It was probably true.
Sophia continued. "Although it may well have been pleasant, he had not deserved it."
Anne had not thought in terms of deserving anything. "Oh, but I had?"
"Yes, you did nothing wrong. I do hope it was pleasant, to leave you with something good at least."
"Hmm." Anne did not elaborate, although Sophia's hope that it had been pleasant was surprisingly supportive. "But will you walk out with me later to become acquainted?"
Posted on Monday, 10 July 2006
Sophia accompanied Anne to Kellynch Lodge to meet Lady Russell. "Will you not mention him?" Anne asked anxiously. Although she could not be prevented from going, she would like to leave in good harmony with a view to her return. She valued this connection more than she did Mary, whose good opinion was variable in any case.
"She wishes to know if you can safely come with me. Considering that I want to take you, it would not be in my best interest to divulge that I have an unmarried brother whom I should dearly like to marry off among my acquaintance."
"And do not mention any sailors," Anne said after a moment of unsteadiness. Sophia dearly liked to marry her brother off? To her? She had never been so direct before.
"Ah!" Sophia exclaimed with a shrewd look. "Which virtues of theirs should I slyly praise?"
"Not in too obvious a manner!" she cried with an alarmed look.
This amused her companion. "But could I at least mention my dear husband Admiral James Frederick Croft? And some of his virtues? He has a few, yet he is a sailor."
"I hope you will not refer to him as such! That would be…suspicious. Even Lady Russell, who does stand on ceremony more than most, would know you were mocking something."
"I shall mention him as little as I can," Sophia promised. She could not say she would not mention him at all. That was impossible.
Lady Russell received them most kindly. She was clearly curious about Mrs Croft, but too well-mannered to ask any curious questions. She began with polite pleasantries instead.
Anne watched Sophia to see what Lady Russell would see, but she did not think there was anything in her manner of answering that could give rise to disapproval. Her appearance was that of a lady who had spent a great deal of her life out of doors, but Lady Russell would not think that affected her manners, she hoped.
"Thank you, I find the neighbourhood very much to my liking," Sophia replied to one of the questions. "And the house equally so. The admiral wished to settle hereabouts because his relatives live in the north of the county and this is quite close to all sorts of places where we have acquaintances. I did not necessarily wish to be settled very near anybody."
"The country must also be pleasant with a child. I hope you do not mind my knowing, but Anne told me you were expecting."
"Oh yes. I think it would be much better for a child than town. The air, the space. The country suits us very well."
"But you could not have known when you began looking for a house," said Lady Russell with an eye on Sophia's stomach. "And it must have been a fortunate turn of events to have found a house."
"Oh, but I did know," Sophia smiled. "Before we came ashore, in fact, but I considered it too private a matter to advertise."
"Before you came ashore," Lady Russell repeated in astonishment. She was unable to calculate when that might have been.
"Yes, I was at sea. We were in the East Indies for several years." It was a long voyage back and she could only have been at sea when it had happened. Nobody could think of setting sail in an advanced condition, she supposed, although she might have preferred that to staying behind and following her husband months or even a year later with a small child. Both situations were horrible.
Here Lady Russell swallowed, for she had no high opinion of women who went to sea, despite never having met one before. However, she supposed that coming from the East Indies one travelled more safely by sea. But really, one should not go that far at all. "But now you are back in the country to stay for a while?"
"Yes and after looking for a house we have to see to all the other tasks such as visiting family." Sophia thought that was a nice bridge to her next topic. Her skills in being devious were rapidly improving. "But the relatives we are to visit are not the sort to make me feel very comfortable in my current condition. They know nothing and worse, they do not want to learn. Nevertheless, my husband's father must be visited."
"Yes, of course." It was one of the admiral's duties to visit his father, Lady Russell agreed.
Anne was pleased with her agreement. It seemed to be going well.
"But getting a house was of greater importance," Sophia continued. "As was the longer trip to Shropshire for my brother's wedding, which had to be undertaken while I still felt capable of travelling so far. I did not know whether that would change." Well, she had always heard it would, but she was not certain she could believe other people's experiences.
"Ladies in your condition do not travel much at all, I always thought." This was spoken with some amazement at the fact that it had been attempted.
"I have so far not experienced any problems," Sophia answered, not mentioning the frequent stops. "But I did press the admiral to visit sooner than we had originally intended and thus we are leaving tomorrow -- but I should like to take Anne because she can tell me what to do. She has some experience in taking care of her little nephews. I have no doubt she can advise me perfectly if required. If not, we shall simply amuse ourselves."
"Anne, a little amusement would be good for you," said Lady Russell, but still with some reservations. Anne should go out more often and this would be a good opportunity, but she wished she knew more about the Crofts. "I hope you are not going to Bath, Mrs Croft. Anne always says she dislikes Bath and that is why she has not gone there with Sir Walter."
"I truly dislike Bath," said Anne, because Lady Russell never took her dislike as seriously as she ought.
"We are not going to Bath," Sophia reassured her. "They live on the coast. It is not the best of houses, but it has a magnificent view. We can sit and enjoy it."
"But where will you leave Anne afterwards? I was to take her to Bath."
"At Kellynch?" said Sophia as if there could be no doubt about that. "It is a large house. Unless you would prefer to go to Bath, Anne. You know the offer is sincere, do you not? You know what we do with girls we do not particularly like."
"I do." It had been difficult enough to have the offer made in private, but to have it repeated in front of others did not make her capable of saying very much in reply.
"Would you keep Anne at Kellynch?" Lady Russell was surprised. She had never heard of such a thing, of tenants keeping on one of the original residents, a girl wholly unconnected to their family.
"We should love to. It is her home and we like her. But we can do no more than offer."
Anne thought she might accept, although there was the uncertainty about Captain Wentworth. Fortunately there were enough reasons tempting her that did not involve him. "If you have not had your child when we return, I do not think I should leave you, because I do want to see it," she said, to dispel any thoughts of its uncle.
"The child, or the admiral's reaction upon discovering I was right about little Miss Croft?" Sophia asked with a smile.
"That too!" she laughed. "But I think he will find himself in love soon enough."
"He says he cannot love two women. How could I argue with that as his wife?" She looked as if she did not want to because she was proud of him.
"Yes, he told me he says that because he knows you will not argue with that! But a little girl! I think he would love a little girl as much as a little boy." But she supposed Sophia knew even better than she did that he was teasing her.
"Have you left the admiral at home?" Lady Russell inquired. She was becoming a little curious about the man.
"Yes, because we are leaving somewhat sooner than we had planned, he had some business to see to. We could not both go out. We should leave the place in perfect order."
Of that Lady Russell approved, even more so because it was Kellynch Hall, and she nodded.
"We are not going away for a terribly long time, but one must tidy up before going away. Fortunately the Navy --" Sophia belatedly recalled Anne's request not to mention sailors. "Well, we like tidying up."
"I suppose you would return in time for your confinement."
Anne saw a flash of something in Sophia's eyes. It seemed Sophia was not going to enjoy confinement. Perhaps she was planning to be up and about very soon. That was not much of a surprise and she bent her head to hide a small smile.
"Yes," Sophia replied calmly. "I very much hope that will be here. She is very active, but I hope she will have some patience to wait until then."
There was not much Lady Russell could do but accept the decision and wish Anne a pleasant time. Anne was set on going and there had been nothing about Mrs Croft that could lead Lady Russell to advice against it. She was married to a sailor, but that in itself was not enough. Having seen the woman for herself now, she could understand why she still travelled, yet her manner and her way of dressing were all very sensible.
"Did you not think I was very good, Anne?" Sophia asked in satisfaction. "I never said much about travelling and confinement and active and rational creatures."
Anne could not disagree. "She has no children. She would know only what she has observed."
"Your sister," Sophia said knowingly. Young Mrs Musgrove could not be called rational and even Anne had thought that behaviour was the norm.
"And perhaps my mother. I do not recall."
"Your mother," she mused. That might have been different. "Which of the three of you is most like her?"
"I believe I am."
Sophia was not surprised.
They returned to find the admiral examining a parcel. Anne remembered a particular one and she spoke before she could check herself. "Oh! I think I know who sent that." Now that she knew about the child, she could only suppose Frederick had sent his purchases to his sister. It would be a coincidence if there were more parcels and more babies.
He gave her a curious glance. "Only Frederick could have sent it, but what did he send from Lyme? He never breathed a word of it."
"Why have you not opened it, my dear?" asked Sophia. "You are fairly drooling over it."
"Because it is addressed to Mrs Sophia Croft." He pushed the parcel towards her and looked at her expectantly.
Sophia opened the parcel and chuckled at its contents, pleased and amused. "Did he think we had not yet bought anything? But it will come in useful to have so much."
"And how did Anne know who sent this?" the admiral inquired. "I cannot imagine Frederick took everyone along, not on an errand of this nature."
"Only me, but he did not tell me for whom he was making the purchases. I guessed that later."
"He went shopping with you in Lyme, in the middle of stepping on your foot and staying in your room?" the admiral exclaimed. "For baby goods? Staying in your room and then going shopping for baby goods? Dear lord, I think the boy needs some more explanations. That is not quite how it comes about, Anne. I hope you know that."
She blushed. "No! He bought these things shortly after we had arrived. And he had to take me because he thought Charles Musgrove would leave me sitting on a rock while he chased after rats and then the tide would come in and Sophia would murder him."
"Dear me, he gave you an explanation!" He looked astonished. "And how highly…creative it was! I hope you were able to translate it into its proper meaning."
Anne had not known anything about a proper meaning. "What would that be?"
"Well, I do not believe for a moment Sophia would murder anybody, nor that Frederick would be afraid of Sophia doing so."
Sophia shook her head. "Nor that you would be as passive and helpless as to be sitting on a rock waiting for the tide to wash over you, without calling out to a fisherman for help or crawling away." Someone who did that deserved to be washed away.
"I had not considered that," Anne said shamefully. She would indeed not be sitting there helplessly, but she had not at all considered what she might do. The explanation had satisfied her then, but she was now ashamed to realise that it should not have satisfied a rational mind, something she had always hoped she possessed.
"He invented something so he would not have to think of why he was loath to let you go," said the admiral. "He probably realised you were a girl. Remember what I told you about that?"
"Yes." That was all she could say to the idea of Frederick not wanting to let go of her. He had not wanted to release her and the reason for that had not been so innocent and unsuspicious that he could tell her. He must have liked it.
"Did you not wonder why he was taking you to buy baby goods? And for whom?"
"I did, but I never asked because he never told me."
"I did not know he would know what to buy. I did not, at any rate." He raised his eyebrows.
"As you see, he simply bought everything. I assumed that was because it was for a very good acquaintance, not because he did not know what to get." The latter explanation made her smile a little.
"That sounds like him indeed. Everything or nothing. He will be rid of his fortune in a year," the admiral predicted. "He needs to learn a little moderation. Or perhaps acquire a family of his own so he will not give his money away to others. If he does acquire one, he may borrow these things he bought."
Posted on Thursday, 13 July 2006
They set off in the morning. During the trip north the Crofts told Anne about life on board and abroad. They had seen much and could relate their experiences in a spirited manner that kept her well entertained, although their account was frequently interrupted by needing to have the carriage stopped.
It would not be as easy to live anywhere for everybody, Anne had to keep in mind, but even Sophia realised that. "Of course I had the advantage of an easy husband and no children," she said. "Even one child would have made a difference, let alone a dozen. I used to be acquainted with a girl who married and moved away, and the next I heard of her, her husband had been ashore twelve times and she had a dozen children to show for it."
"What is an easy husband?" asked the admiral. "One who does not leave such reminders of his visits, or not until his wife declares herself ready for one?"
"One who is not given to being difficult."
"Most enlightening. I never knew that easy meant not difficult. What do difficult husbands do?"
"They have all sorts of vices or they are simply unpleasant," Sophia explained mostly for Anne's sake. "Have other men not complained to you about their wives? The husbands of the wives who enjoy complaining have enough to complain in return, I say." She hoped she never complained.
"They spend too much, are too often unwell, have become too ugly to behold, give too many orders…" he listed readily. "But most of those complaints do not apply to men."
"Oh!" cried Sophia. "I say most of them do. What about that fellow with the scar and the one eye? I daresay his wife was not too pleased when he came home like that."
"Which of his wives?" the admiral asked dryly. "He had several."
"Oh, you shock Anne. It does not matter which of his wives. I imagine all of them would have considered him somewhat…ugly."
"Does it matter to you ladies how we look?" He looked genuinely curious.
"You would not have managed to marry me if you had not possessed a certain amount of…" She studied him appraisingly.
"Wit," he guessed.
Their destination was an old house overlooking the sea. It did not look as if it could last another generation and obviously one of the younger members of the Croft family had realised the same, for there was some building activity a little to the west of it. "Amazing," said Admiral Croft, who had not expected such progress and renewal. He craned his neck to catch more glimpses. "I thought they would simply let the roof collapse on them."
"I am sure they still will," Sophia replied. "It might simply be that your eldest brother has plans to do his duty and he does not want to do so under their noses."
He snorted at the idea of his brother doing his duty. "How likely is that?"
Anne said nothing when Sophia introduced her as her sister Anne to avoid further explanations. She looked as little like Sophia as she looked like Elizabeth or Mary, but these gentlemen here did not appear to care about resemblances at all. They observed her for a moment as if she was a curiosity, but then they focused all their attention on the admiral.
"I told you," Sophia said under her breath. "And brace yourself for the revelation."
Anne had not minded the Crofts' lack of interest in her. These gentlemen had probably forgotten how to speak to younger or unknown ladies, or they had come to think this required an approach they no longer mastered. They had treated Sophia politely enough and she reminded herself that Sophia had not complained about their manners, but about their fear and distrust of childbearing women.
"Next time we are here we shall bring a child," said the admiral by way of general announcement.
"Child? What sort of child?" one of the older gentlemen asked. "Why?"
"Because we shall not leave it at home," he said matter-of-factly.
"We all know Sophia does not have any children. Where would you get a child?"
"How insulting you are, Father. Sophia will give birth to it." He glanced at her. The child's sudden burst of growth had made Sophia's condition undeniable. Inches seemed to be added to her circumference each day. Perhaps that had also been the case before, but then her gown had obscured it.
"Oh dear lord, you succumbed!" was the reaction and the other gentlemen looked as if they agreed wholeheartedly.
"Mother must be rolling over in her grave -- although on second thought I do not wonder that she is in there." He began to wonder what she might have suffered. Had it been this bad in the past?
"Well, Father," Sophia said with a pointed look around the assembled company, which contained all of the man's sons. "It looks as if you forced your wife to succumb many times yourself."
Anne was not used to such conversation and she listened in shock, although she was amused in a most bewildered manner as well because Sophia was right. There were several sons indeed.
"And I never succumbed to James any more than he succumbed to me."
"As long as it does not happen under my roof, Sophia," said his father with a disgusted look.
"You may be fortunate this visit," Sophia said demurely. "But I suspect it will be either that or childbirth."
"Here?" he cried.
She opened her mouth, but the admiral was quick to interrupt. "No, Sophy. Resist the temptation."
"He knows me too well," she whispered to Anne. "The hypocrisy annoys me at times. You have every reason to be shocked, but that man has several sons, whom, if he had truly abhorred the activity, his conscience should have forbidden him to make."
"I have no opinion on it," Anne said in alarm.
Sophia did not care. "No woman would encourage a man after the first time, thus a second time is always his idea. If he abhors it as much as he implies and if he had a conscience, he would have one son or none, not several. That means he did not abhor it quite as much as he would like us to believe, so why we are not allowed to engage in it, with or without purpose, is beyond me."
"But I have no need for such knowledge, so I should not think about it," she said, mostly to convince herself.
"I have no need for his disgust," Sophia said in a fierce whisper. "Most people, one assumes, would be delighted with a grandchild, but I fear he will look upon it as the product of the basest act imaginable."
"I am sure he does not truly think that," Anne tried. She could see Sophia was close to tears -- of anger, she supposed.
"It --" But she was unable to continue.
"Can we go to another room?" Anne suggested. They could not talk openly here.
"A child!" said Mr Croft when the ladies had left the room. "And why has she come here to have it?"
"She has not come here to have it," the admiral explained patiently. "We came here to tell you about it, because you might have been offended if we had not told you about the addition to our family."
"Hmph. But I do not understand why you still wanted to do these things after all these years." The old man wrinkled his nose.
It took him a moment before he could answer. No, his father would not understand. "It was and continues to be my duty. Now, if you continue to make such remarks we shall not feel compelled to stay very long." He did not think Sophia would like to hear too much of this. She had been rather vexed already.
"But it is good that you brought the other woman to keep Sophia out of our way."
"I thought you always liked Sophy." He had never noticed anything amiss before.
"That was before she took an interest in those feminine matters. Now she will want to talk about small children all day and her brain will rot away."
The only possible reaction to that could be a look of perplexity. It lasted for a few moments. "And now for something else, who is having a house built down the path?"
Sophia inquired with the housekeeper and discovered she had to share with Anne, since the house could not accommodate two ladies in different rooms. Anne kept an eye on her face when she was told, for this implied that nothing would happen under this roof indeed, whatever the possibilities, but Sophia took it well.
"Do you now see why I needed another woman?" Sophia said as she reclined on the bed. "Oh dear lord, I succumbed!"
"But was that not simply their surprise?" Anne sat down and felt her foot. She had just climbed the stairs herself for the first time, not having wanted to ask anybody. The last impression she ought to give here, she felt, was that of useless and helpless female.
"Yes, it may be," Sophia admitted. "Perhaps I am not entirely rational. But it means so much to me that such a reaction is a disappointment. I succumbed! To my feminine side? Not to my husband, because that happened many years ago."
"But you said you did not succumb to him." Anne looked a little confused again.
Sophia lazily stretched her arms as she wondered what a refined lady would reply. They would never allow themselves to end up in this situation, she supposed. They would never have travelled here and they would therefore never have felt provoked. "Oh, but he did not ask, beg or force me to do anything. It simply happened one day."
"That does not fit with what my sister told me," Anne said against her better judgement.
"That applies to many things about me, I think. What did she tell you?"
Anne's judgement was still not working properly. "She enjoyed hinting that she knew something I did not, so I received enough hints to know something was definitely going to occur on a specific day, not that it would simply happen one day."
"Well…" Sophia said reflectively. "There were no Crofts around when we got married, my father was ill and my brothers were mere boys. Nobody gave us any orders about specific activities on specific days. You can believe that, can you not? But inclinations are developed easily enough." She shrugged. "We did like the look of each other, you know."
Anne had dwelt on those inclinations for some time, but she was resolved not to be so fascinated by such topics. She had never been interested and it was odd that she was now, unless it was all Frederick's fault.
Fortunately there was no more scandalous talk at dinner. It was a fairly ordinary conversation, although the two ladies were mostly excluded from it. Anne had nothing to share about these topics and Sophia refused, although she did not know that her silence was considered proof that her brain was rotting away.
By now Anne had discerned who was a brother and who was an uncle, although she could not guess who were the eldest and youngest. Even more difficult was remembering their names. Sophia had said they had two names each, but not everybody was consistently addressed by the first of these names. Anne heard one of the gentlemen being addressed by two different names, without any hints as to the correct order. It was very confusing.
From the sometimes secretly awed glances the gentlemen gave Sophia she deduced that they did not truly consider her to be carrying the product of the basest act imaginable, but of course there would be no convincing Sophia of that herself. Her mind was made up and it would take some effort to change it.
"I was thinking you are a little like your brother," Anne mused when the two ladies had left the dining room. Similarities intrigued her still.
"Am I behaving stupidly?"
"Stubbornly, perhaps. I do not think they are as bad as you think they are."
Sophia made an indignant sound. Anne was making excuses for people again. "I have not heard one of them offer his congratulations to me."
"Well, no," Anne had to admit. "That is true, but perhaps they congratulated the admiral?"
"More likely they pitied him," Sophia said with a pessimistic look.
"Sophia…it might be that they simply do not know what to say to you." Such an event had not occurred in this family in the last thirty or forty years, unless one of the brothers had a family tucked away somewhere. They might simply be unprepared.
"I do not expect them to ask if they may have a feel, but I do not want to be treated as if I have changed. I am merely carrying the octopus." She felt her stomach.
"She has certainly grown," Anne observed. She did not think she noticed it now only because she had been told. It had really grown. "Are you not worried about getting her out?"
"Anne," Sophia said after a few seconds. "Should I tell you or should I not?"
Posted on Sunday, 16 July 2006
Anne had no idea what Sophia wanted to tell her, but she thought she had best prevent her. "If you are in doubt, it must be something you should probably not tell me. And leave that to my husband if I get one," she added in a softer voice. "I do not need it before then, do I?"
Sophia looked upon her in astonishment. She had not at all considered that Anne might not want to know. "Well!" she said eventually, thinking Anne might be wrong about not needing it before then. "Are you planning to be wed before I give birth?"
"I think not." Even if Frederick followed them today, he would have matters to arrange that would take him some time.
"Then he will not be around to tell you anything, will he? Besides, I believe James only told him how to get a child in, not out," she said, as if she still had no doubts about the identity of the husband.
"I think you misunderstand me," Anne said gravely, wanting and ordering herself to be firm and uninterested. There was a fleeting curiosity about why James had felt it necessary to tell Frederick anything at all -- recently? -- but she quickly managed to push it away. "I do not want to think of how it gets in, whether I know or not. I already know how it gets out. Of course I will help you."
Sophia looked relieved. "That is all I worried about. See, if it happens here, who else do you think would offer to help? I am sure the scholars around here think I can simply lift the hem of my skirt and catch that baby falling out of me."
"The admiral…" Anne could not believe that of him.
"…has a very decent grasp of the female anatomy, but therefore no grip whatsoever on his nerves," Sophia said dryly. She moved her hand over her stomach and wondered if the octopus could fold all her limbs when it was necessary. She had stretched out completely again and there was no way to get her out in that position.
"Have you got a name yet?" asked Anne, who considered certain thoughts very dangerous indeed, especially if they involved Frederick. It was best to speak of something innocent.
"Yes, but I only have names for girls. If I were to choose something ordinary for a boy, it would end up being named after one of --" She gestured in the direction of the door. "-- and I cannot pay them that compliment. Giving the poor little boy a very strange name is equally impossible."
"What is the admiral's father's name?"
Sophia pulled a belligerent face. "Even if he had the most beautiful name in the world, he would not deserve to have a grandson named after him."
Although they had retired early, Anne discovered that Sophia did not sleep much. She was so restless that she kept Anne awake as well, what with her rolling over and walking around.
"Sophia?" she said some time in the middle of the night when she woke to hear Sophia move somewhere in the room. Perhaps this was all because she could not be with her husband. They had not even had many opportunities to talk. He had played cards with his brothers and Sophia had sat by Anne. "Do you miss him?"
"No," he replied.
Anne gave a startled cry. "You are here?" Perhaps he had been missing Sophia then. She felt some guilt at being the cause of the separation. Perhaps if she had enjoyed playing cards they could have joined in that card game.
"One must be really fond of a lady to spend the night at her table," he commented. "I was just trying it out. No, I have only brought Sophy back to the room. I found her in the corridor."
"I cannot sleep," Sophia said in dissatisfaction, as if anyone thought she could.
"But Admiral, what were you doing in the corridor?" Anne wished to know. And what was he now doing in this room? He could not have wanted to test her table.
"I heard her there -- and she has got me used to waking around this time. Come, Sophy. Say goodnight to me and then I am back to bed. Try doing that too."
"Could you lift me in?" She did not respect herself for asking, but it would be easier if he helped.
"Lift you in? What nonsense is that?" he asked, but his voice came nearer anyway. "Poor Anne! Having to hear all this going on!"
Sophia was assisted back into the bed. "It is not as easy as you may think, because something is in the way."
"Good night. Now stay in," he ordered after he had given her a kiss.
"I am sorry I keep waking you," Sophia said when they were alone. She had left the room because she feared her restlessness might wake Anne, but it had been cold there and James had not given her suggestion of a sofa in the library the proper appreciation. Perhaps he was afraid of being discovered, but being discovered would serve everyone right.
"It is not because you miss your husband?" Anne did not know what she could do in that case. She could not switch beds with him, because she suspected he was sharing with one or more brothers.
"Perhaps a little bit only. He would not be happy with me because I should keep waking him too. It is my back, my stomach, my everything. Did you mind he was in here?" Anne had only been surprised, she thought.
Anne hesitated, wondering if saying no would lead Sophia to bring him in more often. She would always be able to speak up if it happened at inappropriate moments. There was no need to fret about it already, especially because he was harmless. "I think not."
Frederick Wentworth reached his brother's house after almost four days of travelling. The weather had slowed his journey down considerably. He might have been in a hurry to leave, but he was not yet in a hurry to die of some illness.
He was welcomed as if it did not matter that they had not known precisely when he would be arriving and he was amused to see his serious brother so eager to show him his new wife. Mrs Wentworth was at first sight a pleasant young woman. She greeted him very politely, yet he did not think she had changed her manners to make a good impression. He would be able to form a better opinion later, but he was inclined to think well of her. She seemed to be well suited to his brother in appearance and manner.
They had been married for a few months now and he was not their first visitor, so there was very little awkwardness. He was treated to more food than he could eat as he answered his brother's questions about himself and his last posting. Mrs Wentworth only listened; she did not interrupt his narrative with exclamations of fear and wonder. That was favourable. He had known young women to behave otherwise and after a while it began to be boring.
"You stayed a bit long at Sophia's," Edward said eventually.
"Yes." He was not going to say why, although he had had plenty of time to prepare himself for this inevitable question.
"It is always very pleasant to stay with Sophia. She does like to have something or someone to take care of."
It was not clear what his brother meant by that comment and he could only give a noncommittal answer. Perhaps Edward thought Sophia's good care had kept him there. "Indeed."
"The neighbourhood of Kellynch is also very pleasant, from what I remember."
"Yes, it is."
Edward gave up. This sudden reticence was at odds with his brother's eagerness to talk about subjects related to his profession. "By the way, we have some good news for you." He looked at his wife, who smiled. "We are expecting a child. You will be an uncle."
Frederick was not too stunned to offer his congratulations, but then he allowed himself to voice his surprise. "You a father! Sophia a mother!" He felt he had been remiss, not even being married. They were all moving ahead and being happy, while he was standing still. And Edward had certainly not wasted any time! He had taken care of it instantly upon getting married.
"Sophia?" This was news to Edward and he repeated the name in amazement. "Sophia?"
"I thought I was the last to be told!" For a moment he wondered, but Sophia could not mind that he had told Edward. He did not know why she had not yet told their brother, but her disclosure to him had not been planned either. In fact, it was the admiral who had disclosed it.
"She never told me. Sophia? When?"
"She did not tell me that, but she looked a bit plump to me." He had forgotten to ask and he winced. He had been too preoccupied and self-centred to ask the most necessary of questions. There was a small consolation in having embraced her.
"She did not tell you and you did not ask? Why not? Did you think her plump when she was here?" Edward asked his wife. "If she knew anything then, she never told us about it."
"Not at all plump, but I had never seen her before," Mrs Wentworth said cautiously.
"She was plump a month ago and it got worse," said Frederick. "But all these children!" It was a very sudden leap forward. He was still adjusting to thinking of Edward married. Now he had to imagine him as a father!
"Two at most. Do not fret," said his brother. "You have some time yet, being the youngest."
Before Frederick had got very far he had already regretted leaving, but he had been too proud to turn back. He had thought of the peace of mind he would find at Edward's and travelled on. However, such peace of mind could not be obtained by a mere relocation and Frederick was rather vexed to find that no solution had presented itself immediately upon setting foot in his brother's home.
He could talk with energy and ease about his profession. Not only had it been his entire life for the past eight years, but it was also a very safe topic. He did not like questions about Kellynch and found, as did Edward, that he wished to say as little as possible about personal matters.
Trying not to raise any suspicions, he asked some questions in return, about his brother's life, his house and his wife. Edward, it seemed, was the only one of them who had not rushed into an engagement. He had proceeded with care -- and success.
His relatives' financial support had been put to good use -- or rather, it had not been used until he had found he wished to marry. "I learnt from cases I saw before me, you see," Edward said very seriously. "So I reasoned that I had best save for a wife, so that I might compensate her lack of money."
"You need not have saved. I could have bought you a wife a few years ago," said his brother, who did not want to dwell on the fact that he had amassed enough of a fortune years ago to compensate for anyone's lack of money, if only he had taken action.
"Bought me a wife! Frederick!"
"Well, made you a larger gift of money then."
"But I did not want to marry then. Besides, I thought you had only recently acquired the bulk of your fortune and giving it all to me would have rendered you unable to marry yourself."
"I should have given it to you or to whatever charity you could think of and it would have been put to better use, since I never even considered marrying." He had done so only once and that had been enough.
"But you can do so now."
A frown passed over his face. "I came here for peace of mind, not to think of wives."
"Mama Sophia likes to see us settled. Even more so now, I suppose."
"She must have been thrilled with you." And Edward, he supposed, had behaved sensibly end gentlemanly during his courtship. There would not have been any reason to tease or interfere. They had probably been proud of him.
"Oh yes, they came over directly, almost as soon as their ship came in."
Sophia woke up feeling out of sorts. She had not slept well and she was plagued by backaches. Compared to Mary's worst moods she was positively cheerful, however, and Anne did not think it a hardship to keep her company.
"My father thinks you will automatically suffer from brain rot now that you are expecting," Admiral Croft revealed tactlessly. He had simply appeared in the room at some point and did not behave as if he had any plans to quit it.
"Brain rot?" Sophia's temper flared up.
"Irrational superficialities, I assume. We have all had breakfast already." Everybody had known ladies needed more time to dress and he suspected they had all hurried a little so they could avoid them. At any rate, nothing had been said about the ladies' absence.
"We did not sleep as well as you did. Can you not arrange some breakfast for us so that Anne may dress herself?" That was never going to happen if he stayed here.
He glanced at Anne, who had not yet come out of bed. "Anne. Oh."
"You must remember that I am sharing a room with Anne here and that you cannot simply come in and observe us," Sophia told him.
"I am not here to observe Anne, but you."
"Brain rot, James."
He got up and sighed as if she was being very heartless. "My apologies, Anne. I shall knock when I return. Is that acceptable?"
Anne smiled. She knew he meant no harm, although she was glad he left so she could dress. She had no doubt Sophia would dress whether he was there or not, but she could not do the same. "Of course."
"Sometimes I despair of that man," Sophia declared. "I was waiting for him to realise he should not be here, but he never did."
Anne thought he might have been pushing his luck deliberately. "He might have been waiting for you to tell him to leave. He is simply very concerned about his baby."
"Which you and he think excuses every impropriety."
"Well…" Anne considered the matter. "After so long I think he may be allowed."
"Hmph," Sophia said, wrinkling her nose. "After so long! That is not --" She stopped.
Anne caught an edge to her voice. "What is it?"
Sophia gestured with her hands a few times until she had found the right beginning. "We talked about it after a few years." She looked away as she continued speaking. "If something does not happen, you had best find a reason why you would rather not want it to happen, is that not so?"
"I suppose." It would be less painful that way.
"Now if we had been trying every day for years, after so long might have been a valid excuse. But he knows we have not, so he cannot use the really long time as an excuse to come in here when he should not. I thought I never thought about it very much, but it seems I did. All this planning. I might have gone as mad as Frederick had it not happened now!"
"As mad as Frederick?" Anne did not think he was mad. She would rather ask about anything other than Frederick, but she did not quite understand the rest.
"I am getting my child. He is not yet getting his woman."
"But mad?"
"Ever so slightly. My poor little brother! And he has had to do it alone, too! I never knew. I feel for him, perhaps more than I felt for myself, because I at least had someone else." She wondered what she could have done if she had known. "Oh and you!"
Anne saw her eyes glisten. "Please do not cry, Sophia. It will all --" Perhaps it would all come right.
"Bah yes. It is the baby's fault, I am sure," Sophia sniffed. "You had best get dressed before James comes in again. Someone ought to tell him he should not check so often, because the baby will give an advance warning. He knows it cannot fall out in a second."
That advance warning would not make much of a difference. "But then he will come to see if you have had the warning, because…"
"True. But Anne, I know this is difficult, but you must really work on feigning disapproving looks. If I do that, he laughs, but he might take yours seriously." She tried another expression. She could not look disapproving because she loved his concern -- and he knew it.
Anne had to laugh too. "But it looks exactly like you are trying to feign one. Of course he would laugh."
They practised some looks in the mirrors and Sophia almost forgot about her backaches.
"You are terrible!" she exclaimed when the admiral knocked a while later. "We have been practising looks and now you knock as if you have manners."
He gave her a stern look. Of course he had manners. "Is that why neither of you are ready?"
"We are, save for our hair. You are not even looking."
"I thought I had best not look, in case you were not ready. I thought you had your hair down to please me. Could I come in then?"
"Certainly." She opened the door wider so he could step in. Then she hurriedly held out her hand to stop him. "I mean -- Anne, may he come in?"
Posted on Wednesday, 19 July 2006
"But Sophia!" Edward said the next day. He was still amazed by this news. "Where did that come from?"
Frederick used the absence of Mrs Wentworth to speak more freely. For all he knew she might be shocked at such topics in spite of her condition. "The admiral, I presume."
"Yes, where else? But she has been married to him for years without consequences. I had been wondering how to tell them our good news. I thought it might be a little painful to hear his advice worked so well for us when it has never seemed to work for them." He looked relieved that this problem was out of the way. It had been bothering him. He had not wanted to be insensitive by being too enthusiastic about his news.
"Which advice?" He was quite wary of the admiral's advice.
"The things a married man needs," Edward said cryptically.
"How to make a child?"
"I should not speak of this to you, Frederick." His brother was too juvenile and too bitter. He would not treat the subject respectfully. Yesterday he had spoken of buying wives, too.
Indeed, he might be shocked, being an innocent, unmarried man. Or he might put the knowledge into dishonourable practice. Frederick's lips curled up in a contemptuous smile. "He gave you a lecture?"
"No, advice."
"Unasked," he presumed. That would be just like their brother-in-law, dealing out advice unasked with the sole purpose of embarrassing his listener so he could laugh.
"No, not unasked."
"I would never ask!" Frederick cried. He would not set himself up for ridicule in that manner.
"Your poor wife," Edward said in sympathy.
"He lectured me when I was sixteen. I think I know it all." He still shuddered at the memory.
"Oh yes, he told me he did. He also told me he should lecture you again before you got married, because he knows so much more now and your knowledge might be deficient, assuming you have been so good as not to add to it over the years." Edward raised his eyebrows questioningly.
"Deficient! Oh, good grief." Frederick did not like hearing that someone thought his knowledge might be deficient. He would rather keep the extent of his knowledge to himself. This brother might be as fond of lecturing as the other, smugly secure in their superiority. "He is fond of lecturing, is he not? Why did you need advice?"
"Why not? I was not forced to take all of it, was I? It is always useful to listen. You would be amazed at how much books leave out."
"I remember all too well that Sophia's husband does not leave anything out," Frederick said with a forced smile, wondering at his brother reading books about these topics. Perhaps Edward should have some degree of knowledge in his profession, although he could not imagine it. He felt some curiosity as to what books left out. In fact, he had not even known there were books about the subject. Were they in the library here?
"We sat down at eight and finished at midnight," Edward agreed, a smile playing around his lips.
"And where did Sophia go in the meantime? I cannot imagine she would stay for such a conversation." If he was not mistaken, she would have featured in some or most of it and a lady could not want to hear such topics.
"She went to bed."
"How could you want to stay for it?" He had not wanted to stay when his captain had delivered his lecture, but he had been obliged to hear him out. It had been awful, so awful that he had never forgotten any of it.
"I have to stay for many conversations in my profession," Edward said seriously. "Talking a little about wives is not as unpleasant as you seem to think."
"It would be to me, since I am never marrying." The good examples in his family were painful. He was pleased for his brother and sister, but it only served to make him despondent about his own chances at happiness. His new sister-in-law's quiet manners furthermore reminded him of Anne's, although there was little resemblance in appearance.
"Such childish comments always…" Edward shook his head. The louder they were spoken, the quicker they were proven wrong. "But do not bother to look for the books. I got rid of them because James said they were rubbish."
Frederick did not know he had betrayed an intention to find them. "Who is -- oh. I cannot imagine you told him you had books."
"Oh, why not? I do not think of him as my captain or admiral or something like that." And he certainly would not refer to him as such. The man had been married to their sister for ages!
"Have you no shame or pride?"
One could have too much of that as well, Edward believed. "I would rather have a happy wife, but since you want neither a happy nor an unhappy wife, I do not expect you to understand."
"Oh, now my understanding is deficient too, I see," Frederick said with a grumble.
"Perhaps, if you do not understand what your problem is."
Frederick was often left alone. His brother had his duties and Mrs Wentworth had not yet made her appearance today. She was unwell. He wondered how Edward could stand such a sickly wife, since the servant had told him it was a common occurrence.
He was forced to adjust his opinion when she finally appeared, just when he was about to go out for a walk, and she quietly apologised for her absence. "Would you know whether your sister was also so sick during her first months?" she asked rather shyly.
"Her first months?" he repeated uncomprehendingly. Of her marriage? He had been there and he could not remember that.
"The first months of her pregnancy," she said with a blush, as if it ought not really be discussed. "I was told it will not last. When your sister was here nothing seemed to ail her at all."
"It did not even know it made one sick." Frederick looked appalled. "And I have no idea about my sister. I am sorry. She was more tired than usual, I think. I should have asked when her child was due, I suppose, but there are more things I neglected to say." He kept discovering more things he had omitted to do or say. It was not pleasant and he would have much to make right when he went back. "Would local ladies not know?"
"They do not know about me yet. It is of no great importance," Mrs Wentworth murmured. "But after this very bad morning I was merely hoping for an improvement and hoping that if your sister was a little further along while she was here, my condition would soon improve as well. Edward has moved all of his activities to the early mornings when I am sick, so that we can have some time together when I feel better later in the day. I hope you will not mind fending for yourself in the mornings." She looked at his coat. "I hoped you were not forced to go out."
"I am fine," he assured her. Well, apart from having to think of how his brother and sister were both busy increasing their families and he was doing nothing.
He went out for a walk to think. The cold air was soothing, or perhaps he should say chastising. Sometimes that was the same thing. The landscape was far from dull and colourless to him, even though it was November and not sunny, and he had always enjoyed walking or riding. He would never feel forced to walk.
Although he had ridden here and thought everything over then, Edward was going to force him to think again. It was inevitable. Edward was the only one who had known about his engagement, not to mention that he had already betrayed that he still remembered it. If he was still as transparent as he had been at Kellynch, his brother would know in an instant. It had taken his sister no time at all.
Thinking of Sophia, she had never confirmed that she would take Anne. She might. She had not been against taking Anne, only against being selfish.
All might be lost if Anne went to Lady Russell. Was she strong enough to withstand that influence? He should not doubt her, but history was not in her favour. She had not been weak recently, he realised. No, recently she had been calm and strong, or at least strong enough to appear calm.
Kissing Anne and then going away would require a very convincing apology. For every time he imagined her reacting sensibly, there was a time he imagined her shocked and disgusted. He had had to leave, because Edward had had to be visited, but he ought to have spoken. If Anne went with Sophia, he could speak later. Sophia would say nothing against him.
He always got stuck at that point. He did not know what Sophia would do, because he did not know whether she would take Anne. Until he knew that, he could not think any further. It had been rather stupid of him to leave before asking when they were going to be back at Kellynch. He could only write to Sophia at the Crofts and hope she might be kind enough to answer a veiled inquiry. That again was not without problems, because the letter might fall into the wrong hands, Anne's or the admiral's. He did not know what would be worse.
Anne and Sophia went out for a walk too, but they were happy to be doing nothing in particular at present to increase their families. They encountered one of the gentlemen near the new building, which very much looked like a house. Anne thought it favourable that he did not turn and run when he perceived them. Sophia did run, however. She made some haughty, nasal sound and walked around the other side of the building. Anne hesitated for a second, but decided she could not be so uncivil. She walked on in the direction of the gentleman. Apparently she was considered less frightening than Sophia, because he greeted her very politely.
"Will this be a house for the entire family?" she asked to have something to say.
"Yes, before the old one collapses."
"Sophia thought it might be for the admiral's eldest brother."
"That is me." He studied her closely. "Does Sophia think we are all old and forgetful? James Frederick married a girl with two younger brothers, for whom he was even legally responsible for a while. No sisters."
Anne felt she was being found out and she blushed deeply. "But their…wives will be her sisters, will they not?" she asked in a very soft voice. She did not like using the term before there was any certainty, but she must.
"I see," he replied. "That explains it."
She wondered what he would say next, but he dropped the subject and spoke of the house. Sophia was wrong. They were not as bad as she thought and this was could speak very normally about the building activities. Sophia should have made a good progress around the house now and Anne expected to see her any moment. She did not know whether Sophia would join them. It would be the politest thing to do, but at present Sophia was unpredictable.
"I hope," said Mr Croft, who had apparently been expecting the same thing, "that Sophia is not experiencing any physical difficulties. I saw she walked the other way, but it is hardly a palace we are building and she would not need so long."
"Mental difficulties only," Anne assured him.
"My father feared as much."
"He does not have to fear that she will have her child here, although with so many sons living here another woman might some day," she said to test their willingness.
"It is a theoretical possibility," he agreed, but not very enthusiastically.
"What more could be required?" Someone's life might change drastically. Such things could not be foreseen. Anne would have told him more if her own life had been settled, but it had not. The theoretical possibility for change was there, however.
He did not know what more could be required and they walked on slowly in the direction where they expected to come across Sophia. They saw her leaning backwards against a tree, feeling her waist with her eyes closed. The admiral's brother did not think it a reassuring sight and he abruptly stopped walking. "Oh no."
"It is nothing," Anne said, studying Sophia's face. It was not distressed. "The child will be moving, I expect."
"Moving? It is not yet born." Apparently he thought it was therefore not yet alive and capable of movement.
"It lives nonetheless."
"What are we to do?" Mr Croft looked ready to run, with or without receiving an order to do so.
"Nothing. Sophia?" Anne called. "Is she active?"
Sophia opened her eyes. "I was trying if I could tell whether it was a foot or a fist. But I cannot." She gave Mr Croft a challenging stare.
Anne thought she might have to prevent a scandalous comment from being made, although she could not predict what it might be and she had no idea what to say.
"How do you know it is a girl?" Mr Croft was impressed.
"I do not," Sophia answered. "But your family needs more girls. I am also good at finding people wives. Should I try?"
He looked alarmed. "Please restrict yourself to your own brothers."
Sophia stared after him as he almost ran away. "I shall not bother with them. Shall I bother with Frederick, Anne? Or would you consider my efforts damaging?"
"I have tried not to think of him, but you and the admiral are always saying or doing something to remind me." Anne hoped she was not complaining too much, because she did not want to be. "If you are not referring to him directly, you are providing an example of how it could or should be."
"Edward will talk some sense into him. He will."
Anne hoped so. The admiral's brothers, the first gentlemen she had seen after Frederick, could not compare. They were not even very old -- the eldest brother could not be far into his forties and the youngest might not be much older than Frederick. She preferred him, however, stupidity and all. "If Mr Wentworth does not succeed, I must," she said bravely.
"Edward. He will not mind."
She was glad Sophia behaved normally to her at least, although the admiral would probably not let her ruin the relationship with his family. He seemed to get along with them. None of this was really her concern, Anne supposed, since she did not think she would return here again, not unless Sophia hired her to look after her child. Sir Walter Elliot would be none too pleased if his daughter did such a thing. That was interesting to keep in mind. "Sophia," she said after a moment. "What would my father say if he heard I had gone with you?"
"He cannot object to me. I am allowed to rent his house."
"Well!" Anne protested with a laugh. "If he heard what you sometimes speak about…"
"My husband is a very respectable topic."
"All right," she conceded. It always had to do with her husband. That was true. "But if he heard what you sometimes make me think about…almost. I can usually stop myself."
Sophia was all innocence. "I cannot be blamed for that. But you may think what you like, Anne. Do not think it is too early. Better be too early than too late."