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Chapter 56
There was talk, of course, as the employees of Pemberley were bound to spread juicy gossip about their employer whenever possible. Darcy had expected uproar, shocked condemnation of, as someone once crudely called it, "dipping his nib in the company ink"; but in fact, uproar there was not. There were some whispers of "inappropriate behavior", but for the most part, and to his surprise, his employees seemed rather positive about the whole thing.
He had overheard a conversation, two weeks after their first official date, between two employees on his floor that made him stop worrying about hiding his relationship with Elisa from his staff.
"Mr. Darcy's dating again? That's great." A male employee had said.
A woman's voice had responded. "He's dating Ms. Darcy's assistant."
"Ms. Annesley? I thought she got married last year?"
"She did. It's not her; it's Ms. Bennet - the new one." The woman had clarified.
"Ms. Bennet? Oh! I've spoken with her a few times. She's very nice."
"Yes, she's a lovely person. They seem to like each other a lot. Hey, do you think we'll be hearing wedding bells before the year's out?" She'd asked, excited at the prospect of impending imaginary nuptials.
"Is it that serious?" The man had questioned.
Darcy stood at the windows in his office, thinking back on the man's words. Was his relationship with Elisa that serious? Yes, he immediately thought. It is - or, at least, it could be. They had been dating for almost a month now, and all the rough edges at the beginning of their relationship were being smoothed down. The passion had temporarily been put on the back burner so they could work on truly getting to know each other before things became too much to handle. He had thought that he would have to woo her, but found himself being subtly wooed by her instead. She was, as always, a constant and refreshing delight. And he found himself, when in her company, shedding the tough, detached persona he had adopted for his company; he felt freer with her, and certainly happier.
Knock, knock.
He swung his head to his side toward the door. Elisa. His heart started to quicken as she offered him a slow, sweet smile.
"I'm sorry to bother you... You looked like you were thinking about something important. I can come back later."
"Nah. Come here." He extended his hand to her, and she walked over to accept it. He lifted her hand and placed a soft kiss on the top of it. "I was thinking about us."
"Oh, really?" She looked out the window like he had been doing a few seconds earlier. "All good thoughts, I hope."
"Of course." With his fingertips he gently brushed her jaw until she turned and looked at him. He encircled her waist with his arms, bringing her closer to him. She smiled, leaning her cheek on his chest and falling into his embrace. It felt so good to be held like this, she thought. She quietly sniffed at his shirt, taking simple pleasure in his scent. He smelled clean, like soap, with a hint of something sharp and warm. Something woodsy with a bit of musk. She nuzzled closer, smiling into his chest.
"Comfortable?" He asked softly, amused. He loved the way she felt in his arms.
"Mmm." She murmured. "You smell good."
Darcy laughed. "Thanks."
They held each other for a few moments more, saying nothing.
"You wanted to speak with me?" He asked after a while.
"Yeah." She stepped back, holding his hand. "Tomorrow's our first month anniversary... You didn't have anything planned, right?"
"Not yet. Why?" He had made tentative reservations with one of his favorite restaurants in the City, but was open to anything that she wanted to do instead.
"I was thinking that I could come over to your apartment and cook dinner for us. If that's okay with you?" She asked uncertainly.
"It sounds wonderful." He answered without hesitation. "We can leave directly after work."
Elisa beamed. "Okay then, good." She was sure he was going to suggest going to some expensive restaurant. Not that she would have minded, but still... A quiet night in was appealing. "I have to go to the market tonight to pick up ingredients."
"Do you want me to bring anything?" He didn't want her lugging bags of groceries uptown. "I'm sure I have some things in the kitchen already that you could use."
"Well, I do need baby spinach leaves for the salad. Do you have that?"
In his mind, he searched through a mental picture of his kitchen at home. Now that he thought about it, he really didn't have all that many edible things in his refrigerator or cabinets. "Um, no. But I could pick up a package tonight."
"Well, why don't you tell me what you do have, and I can see if I can use it?"
"Bread?" He said after a moment. "Maybe some peanut butter. I'm almost sure we have some cereal lying around."
She laughed, shaking her head. "William, how can you live on that stuff?"
He shrugged, slightly embarrassed. "Well... Ana usually does the shopping. I haven't been paying attention to what she spends the grocery money on, lately... I've been busy thinking about other, much more important things."
"Such as?" She prompted.
"Such as you." He leaned in for a quick, playful kiss.
Elisa giggled. "Sweet talker." She pulled him down, grabbing a fistful of his until-then unwrinkled shirt. Her lips were on his before he had a chance to exclaim at her unusually aggressive behavior. He felt as if the air had been sucked out of his body. She ran her hands through his hair, messing it up with her eager movements. After a while, she pulled back, grinning at the picture he made; she decided that he looked very sexy when mussed up a little.
"That was nice." Suddenly that passion surfaced, washing over him in forceful waves. It left him a little shaky; since he had been so focused on keeping things light until she was ready for something more serious, he hadn't quite thought they moved past moderate shows of affection. "You're quite the kisser, Elisa."
"So you tell me." Her voice was a little breathy. "I'll leave you a list." She added a couple minutes later.
"What?" He asked, confused by her switch in subjects.
"For things you need to buy. I'll bring the things for the main course and you can bring the things for the salad. Sound fair?"
Darcy nodded.
"I'll see you later, then." She stroked his face with her hand before stepping away. She tossed him a coy little smile as she disappeared out the door.
Jesus. He brought his hand up and placed it over his heart, as if he were afraid it could no longer be contained in his chest. He knew she was teasing him, as she was wont to do now that they had grown more comfortable in each other's company. But still... it made his heart race.
Somewhere, in a small suburban house in a quiet Southern California city, a man and woman sat at their dining table, piles of white envelopes scattered before them. The woman was re-counting the R.V.S.P. cards, making last minute finalizations on the guest list and seating chart.
"Seventy-nine." She announced, the third time that night. "It's not here."
"I'm sure it'll come in a few days, honey." The man replied, knowing full well that it would not. Inside his briefcase was the returned invitation that he had intercepted earlier that day before she could see it.
"I didn't think she'd still be angry..." Her voice faded at the end. But of course she knew; they both did. It was stupid to think she'd want to come, anyway. The guilt had always stayed with her, despite what people said to the contrary.
"Do you want to call her?" He asked.
"No." She immediately replied. "She'd only hang up. We haven't spoken in so many years, now... It was my fault."
"Honey - " He started to say.
"Forget it." She got up and walked swiftly into the next room.
He sighed. It had been almost five years since he had seen Elisa, talked with her. Maybe it was time for a little reconciliation. He knew it was long overdue, and that he had been a terrible person back then. Everything had changed and they had ended things badly.
Perhaps she'll forgive me, in time. It was a foolish wish, but one he clung to.
Picking up the telephone, he made the appropriate calls, hoping he was making the right choice.
"I forgot to ask earlier, but where is Georgiana?" Elisa questioned Darcy the next night, as they pulled up to his Upper West Side apartment building. Davis has picked them up after work and driven them uptown, only stopping momentarily while she ran up to her apartment midtown to pick up the ingredients she had bought the night before.
"She went out with Jared. To the movies, I think." Darcy stepped out of the car and helped her with the grocery bags. "Truth be told, I wasn't paying much attention to what she was saying, only that she was going to be gone for most of the night." He grinned, blushing a little. They quickly made their way through the lobby and up the elevators to the top floor.
"She's taking this very well." Elisa set the bags on the kitchen counter. "I mean, us dating and all that. I thought she'd be a little more surprised when I told her."
Darcy shrugged. He had spoken with his sister later the night Elisa had told her about them; he remembered that she hadn't seemed surprised at all. In fact, it looked like she had known all along and was only waiting for him to get with the program and tell her. "She loves you, just as she loves me. I guess she was just waiting for the day when we would finally become friends."
"I believe we're more than just friends, William." She said playfully, touching his hand lightly before getting back to her preparations.
He made a noncommittal, grunt-like noise. "What are we making, anyway?" He asked as she unloaded the bags.
"Ginger flank steak with rice, sake-glazed asparagus, a baby-spinach salad." She pulled out a carton. "And if you're good, ice cream for desert."
"Mmm." He rubbed his stomach for effect. "Sounds delicious." He waited a second. "You do know how to cook, don't you?"
She threw him a disbelieving stare. "I can't believe you just asked me that. I made you brownies, remember?"
"Yeah, but brownies are brownies. Real food is different." He grinned at her. She looked halfway to belligerent.
"Then I guess you're just going to have to find out." She huffed a little. "You'd think, after agreeing that I'd make dinner, that you'd have some faith in me."
He waited a beat. "I'm going to pay for this, aren't I?"
She gave him a slightly evil smile in reply.
Two hours later they were exhausted, the kitchen was a mess, but their stomachs were full. They had taken the meal outside now that the summer weather had made it possible. Elegant tapers were lit on the table, but by the end of the meal they were half their original height. A dozen other small, tea candles were lit up and placed along the balcony's banister. The warmth of the night air brought out the perfume of the bouquet of flowers he had presented her after they had eaten.
She leaned back in her chair comfortably, gently swirling the glass of the fruity Zinfandel he had thought would go with the meal. She eyed the bouquet that was resting on the edge of the table, lazily taking delight at the colorful arrangement of yellow roses, blue delphiniums, purple lisianthuses, white daisies, and fuchsia carnations.
He thought she looked utterly content with herself, with him, and with the night. Other than the minor catastrophe left in the kitchen, everything had gone smoothly. And he had to admit, Elisa was a terrific cook and the food was delicious. He wondered what she was thinking about, as she quietly stared up into the night sky and then at the flowers he had gotten for her. He had picked up the arrangement on the whim earlier that afternoon, the colorful blooms attracting him to a store window. She had kissed him when he gave them to her, a surprised smile on her lips. It felt nice that he could make her so happy with such a simple gift, a symbol of his adoration for her.
"I didn't get you anything." She said out of the blue, breaking the mutual silence.
"Dinner was more than enough." He looked at her from his position on the other side of the table. He hoped his eyes conveyed his gratitude at such a thoughtful gesture. "Thank you." He got up to clear the dishes away and she followed him back into the kitchen.
"Wow." She looked around the room as if seeing it for the first time. "It's messy in here." Cooking utensils cluttered the counter space and used pans were still resting on the stove range. The dirty dishes he set in the sink only added to the disorder. "I'm sorry. I'll help you clean up." She made a move for the sink before he stopped her, grabbing her wrist with a shake of his head.
"Don't worry about that tonight." He said, pulling her into the living room. "I'll take care of it tomorrow."
"Are you sure?" She looked over the shoulder, concerned. "It'd only take a minute..."
"Hush." He reached over and pushed a button on the remote he had placed nearby. The room was suddenly filled with a sweet, bright and breezy melody. He pulled her into a slow dance, their bodies swaying slightly with the music.
I never felt magic crazy as this
I never saw moons knew the meaning of the sea
I never held emotion in the palm of my hand
Or felt sweet breezes in the top of a tree
But now you're here
Brighten my northern sky.
I've been a long time that I'm waiting
Been a long that I'm blown
I've been a long time that I've wandered
Through the people I have known
Oh, if you would and you could
Straighten my new mind's eye.
She rested her head on his shoulder, sighing deeply. He closed his eyes, trying to ingrain this moment into his memory, the way she felt in his arms, her little sounds of pleasure, everything...
Would you love me for my money
Would you love me for my head
Would you love me through the winter
Would you love me 'til I'm dead
Oh, if you would and you could
Come blow your horn on high.
The white cotton dress she had changed into after work swished against him as they moved. They had removed their shoes long ago - she, wanting to feel the warm stucco tiles of the balcony against her feet, and he, following her example. It seems inordinately exotic to be walking around barefoot around his apartment. Every now and then as they danced, their naked feet would brush against each other, and they both felt an unexpected thrill of anticipation.
I never felt magic crazy as this
I never saw moons knew the meaning of the sea
I never held emotion in the palm of my hand
Or felt sweet breezes in the top of a tree
But now you're here
Brighten my northern sky. *
"Happy Anniversary." She whispered, kissing him softly on the lips.
He wanted to tell her that he loved her, but he couldn't. It would be too much too soon. But she looked so perfectly wonderful, with her dark hair tumbling down her shoulders, bared by the strapless dress, and her eyes shining with emotion. It took all he had to keep him from declaring his undying love for her and sweeping her off into his bedroom.
"Happy Anniversary, Elisa." He replied, finding the words inadequate for what he was feeling.
There was a moment, when she looked at him, her eyes widening, as if suddenly realizing that something was on the tip of his tongue, something important that he wanted to say but for whatever reason couldn't. Her heart started to flutter uncontrollably. It's too soon, the rational part of herself thought. We haven't know each other long enough... But the fanciful part hoped he would say it, whatever it was.
But Darcy remained silent.
The elevator dinged, pulling them out of the moment. They both looked over, slightly dazed, as Georgiana stepped out. She looked embarrassed that she had picked such a time to interrupt them. "I'm sorry... I'll just be in my room." She giggled softly, then quickly dashed off until they were alone again, but not really alone.
"I should go." Elisa said, realizing the time.
He nodded, reluctantly, in agreement. "I'll have Davis drive us down."
"No, that's not necessary." She walked out on the balcony, slipping on her sandals and picking up her flowers. "It's late, and I wouldn't want to bother him."
He pressed a button on the intercom to call the front desk. "Geoffrey, could you call us a cab?"
"Right away, Mr. Darcy." A voice said.
He grabbed her purse before getting into the elevator with her. "Then at least let me take a taxi down with you." They got out and walked toward the front exit. The night doorman tipped his cap as they passed by.
"It would be silly to pay twice the cab fare for both of us to go down, and then for you to go back uptown." Darcy held open the door as she stepped into the taxi that had appeared in front of the building. He handed over her purse. "I'll be fine." She gave him a reassuring look when he appeared like he wanted to jump in despite her words. "Goodnight, William"
I think I'm in love with you.
"Goodnight, Elisa." He closed the door and watched as the taxi rolled down the street and out of sight.
* "Northern Sky" by Nick Drake
Chapter 57
"So, how was it?" Janine asked the next morning, stopping by Elisa's office on her mid-morning break.
Elisa hummed noncommittally. "Mmmm."
"That good, huh?" Janine's brows went up about an inch. "Wow."
Elisa laughed and rolled her eyes. "I didn't mean that... We just had a nice dinner. And we danced a little at the end."
"Is that what you kids are calling it these days?" Janine joked. "I can never keep up with your Yanks' newfangled slang - there's a different word for everything nowadays."
"Ha-ha." Elisa responded. "Do you want details or not?"
Janine sat down in the chair opposite Elisa's desk, her eyes gleaming with enthusiastic interest. "Yes, please."
"I don't kiss and tell. You know that." Darcy said as soon as he noticed both Bingley and Richard standing at his office door. It was a preemptive maneuver that, unfortunately, didn't work. Both men entered the room, smiling wide, without the grace to even look abashed at being caught lounging in the hallway.
"Since when?" Richard slid into one of the chairs in front of Darcy's desk.
Bingley did the same. "Yeah. Since when, Darce?" He piped up, his grin the size of Mexico.
Darcy rolled his eyes. "I'm a very private person." He said, as if they didn't know it already. "There are certain details about my life that I would rather not waved around in the public."
"We are not the 'public'." Richard said reasonably. "Cough up the details, old boy."
"Dish up the goods." Bingley added.
That set Darcy laughing, though he couldn't, for the life of him, understand why.
"We will browbeat you until you give in." Richard warned good-humouredly.
Darcy sighed, but it was all show. In fact, he was glad they had come up to bug him - he needed someone to talk to, to bounce ideas off of and to express his relative happiness to. And who better than his two best friends? Of course, he wouldn't let them know that. It would needlessly encourage them. And lord knows, they didn't need it.
The suit was getting on her nerves. It was cut beautifully and made of the highest quality linen silk blend - but it was also unforgivably hot. And sitting on a bench in Washington Square Park, under the noonday sun, in the middle of summer didn't help the situation. Elisa shifted discreetly, trying to unstick her blouse from her shoulder blades while smiling agreeably to the babbling nobhead before her. He was chattering nonstop about the increase use of brown in next season's lines and, to be frank, Elisa didn't give rat's behind.
Georgiana was sitting on a neighboring bench, politely conversing with a representative of an up and coming shoe designer. Añya was in last stages of contracting the talked-about design house to supply footwear for the next year. Though the Manolo Blahnick stilettos were fashionable and everything haute couture, they were also killer on the arches. Elisa had complained enough about wearing the heels, as per contractual agreement, that Georgiana promised to look for another designer.
"Tell Estevan we'll do lunch next Thursday, if he's feeling better. I'm sorry be couldn't make it today." Georgiana stood up, offering her hand to the suited woman before her.
"Of course, Ms. Darcy. Mr. Carr sends his apologies for being unable to be here. He did direct me to tell you that he is very eager to show you some of his preliminary sketches." The woman shook her hand.
Elisa mentally sighed as the woman's talkative colleague perceived his boss imminent departure and made his goodbyes. Good riddance. As the pair walked away, Georgiana turned to her with a chagrined smile on her face.
"I'm sorry about that."
Elisa stood up, rolling the kinks out of her shoulders. "Nothing you need to apologize for. As for Mr. Brown-is-my-new-god - he could apologize for monopolizing two hours of my life with his mindless talk. That's two hours I'm never getting back."
Georgiana grinned. "Thanks for being a trooper, nonetheless... Geez, it's hot. It must be at least a hundred out here."
"What do you say we get out of the sun before I melt?" Elisa stripped off her jacket, wishing for a miracle cool breeze to hit her. Unfortunately, with the humidity off the charts and the blazing sun, cool breezes were out of the question - but she could still hope. "Why on earth did they want to meet here?"
"Beats me." Georgiana retrieved a handkerchief from her purse and began politely patting her face dry. She still looked fresh as a daisy. Elisa felt like a wilted rose, with her petals falling off and everything. "Hey, look over there... Is that William?"
"What?" She turned around, feeling as terrible as she looked, and there he was. The sight of him, looking cool and dangerously dashing in his business wear, still made her heart trip a little. There he was, in a hundred plus heat wearing a pitch-black suit, leaning against the famous Arch and looking amazingly at home among the crowd of people. When she caught his eye, he waved and began walking toward them.
"What are you doing here?" Georgiana asked him when he reached them. "Didn't you have a meeting with Petrre today?"
"We just finished at his Chelsea headquarters. I was on my way back to Pemberley when I remember Elisa saying something about your meeting here. Since I was on my way downtown anyway, I figured you girls might need a ride back."
"How thoughtful." Georgiana gave him a hug. She turned and looked over at Elisa. "Isn't he the best brother ever?"
"He's certainly earning brownie points in my books."
Darcy grinned. "Hello darling." He leaned in, kissing her slightly reddened cheek. "You look tired."
They began walking in the direction of the car. "I'm sweaty and I'm hot." He swung his arm over her shoulder and pulled her close. "But thanks for coming. I didn't think you would."
"You were dropping rather obvious hints."
She pretended to be shocked. "Moi? Never!"
Darcy laughed. "Come, mademoiselle. Your car, with air-conditioning, awaits."
"Whoo!" She cheered, feeling a million times better. "What would I do without you?"
"I'm not sure, and I'd rather not find out." She was making light of their relationship, but he knew that somehow, along the way, she had fallen in as deep as he had. Her eyes seemed to communicate all the words she hadn't the courage to say, and what they told him warmed his heart. Soon, he thought. I'll tell her soon. "You're stuck with me, kid. For at least a while."
Elisa looked into his face with a newfound seriousness he hadn't seen before. "A long while?"
If only I weren't such a coward, I'd tell her. "Yeah." He whispered, as they approached the car where Georgiana waited. "For a long while."
"Good." She whispered back, a shaky, but relieved smile on her lips.
"You can't be seriously considering this. It's ridiculous."
"Lydia wants her there, and that's all that matters. I have to try at least."
"But she won't come. In five years, she has only come home once. Can't you see the futility in going there? You're only going to hurt her with the memories."
"Don't you want to see your daughter again? Don't you miss her?"
"Of course I do." The old man sat, for once feeling beaten down. "But there's nothing I can do to seal the rift between her and Fanny, or between her and you two. Elisabeth is a stubborn girl - she rarely forgets and is less likely to forgive."
"I still have to try."
It was another busy day at the office, as usual. Georgiana was out courting potential material suppliers. The designers were up in arms over who got to use the last rolls of sample printed cotton before the ordered rolls came in the next week. Elisa smiled over the good-hearted squabbling among the ranks, nodding in agreement and scattering exclamations of indignation every so often so the designer who came up to her would think she was listening. They were often like little children, she mused. And she was the surrogate mother hen when Georgiana was away.
Earlier that day Darcy had surprised her with a quaint lunch at his favorite bistro where they dined on spinach gnocchi and sipped sweet Italian dessert wines. He was growing on her, she had to admit. Almost two months of virtually problem-free dating, and she could still see herself with him. It had to be some sort of record in the face of the sparse, hit-and-run dating system she had taken up after the break-up (with a certain someone that she would have rather forgotten).
Reflecting on her newfound happiness, Elisa stepped out the elevator, humming the opening bars of a song she had heard on the radio. On her way to their office, Georgiana stepped out from one of the design studio rooms and stopped her.
"Oh, you're back. How was the meeting?" Elisa asked, concerned with the unusually worried look on her friend's face. "Are you feeling okay?"
"I'm fine." Georgiana took her arm. "Elisa..."
"Yeah? What is it?"
"There's a man waiting for you in our office." She said quietly.
"Oh? Who?"
"I don't know; he wouldn't give me his name. But he was quite adamant that he see you. I wasn't sure if I should've called security. He said you knew him."
That peaked her curiosity. "Well, I'll go see for myself." Determined to set this man straight, she marched down the hallway, only to stop, stock still at the entrance of the office. He was standing near her desk, his back to the door, but she immediately knew who he was. The gentle slope of his shoulders were the same, the casual ease in his stance, the sweep of his hair... it was all eerily familiar. And for a split-second her heart started beating in an irregular fashion.
Before she had time to back out, he turned around.
"Elisabeth." He greeted cautiously. "How are you?"
She couldn't believe her eyes or her ears. Was this some nightmare come to haunt her? "George? What are you doing here?"
Chapter 58
"You're looking well." George sidestepped as she marched forward, neatly avoiding her question. Her shock was, to his disappointment and peril, quickly replaced with anger. She advanced on him, her hands unconsciously clutched into tight fists.
"What are you doing here?" Elisa repeated. Feelings of hurt and fury were irrepressible and escalated with every breath. How dare he come here! How dare he think he had the right to even speak to her!
He squirmed under her livid stare and wondered how he could have forgotten what it was like to suffer the wrath of Elisabeth Bennet. She was small in stature, but she was a force to be dealt with. "I wanted to speak to you."
"You could have called." She reigned in her anger, forcing her hands to unclench.
"And you would have hung up." As she walked toward her desk, George circled around and quietly closed the door. He wanted to keep whatever harsh words she would inevitably say between the both of them. Since she seemed like she wanted to cause a scene, it'd only be smart to keep the embarrassment level to a low. "Please, could we have a sensible, adult conversation?"
"You're in no position to be requesting anything of me." Before he could get in a word, she interrupted. "You never answered my question."
George stalled. "Which was?"
Her eyes narrowed. "What are you doing here?"
"I, uh... I had hoped to convince you to come to the wedding. But at the moment, it seems like this wasn't a very well thought out idea." He looked embarrassed.
"Since I'm about this close to physically harming you, yes, it was a very bad idea. How did you find me?"
"I asked your father."
She glared at him. "Get out, George." She shook her head in disbelief at his gall, his presumption that he could walk back into her life and demand something of her, that he could come back suddenly, when things in her life were going well, and still affect her so much after so many years. She was still mad at him for all that he had done in the past, for the disastrous breakup and the duplicity she discovered in him after learning the truth - but, mostly, Elisa was angry at herself for letting the memory of him shadow parts of her life. "I don't want to see you, and I certainly don't want to talk to you."
"But the wedding - "
"- will go on, with or without me... Did my mother put you up to this?" Of course she did, Elisa thought miserably. Wouldn't want her precious baby getting married without the full support of the family. What would people think if the middle Bennet sister wasn't there? Oh no, we just couldn't possibly have scandalous talk on Lydia's big day. It was something Fanny Bennet would do: send George to New York to convince Elisa to go to the wedding without ever thinking about her daughter's feelings. It wasn't that Fanny didn't love Elisa; she did, in her own small way. But their personalities mixed as well as oil and vinegar. "You can run back to California and tell her, in no uncertain terms, that I will not be in attendance."
"Your mother didn't ask me to come." George explained, though he was hoping he wouldn't have to. "I came because of... Lydia."
She immediately tensed at the mention of her younger sister's name.
"She truly wants you to come, to be a part of our wedding."
"She would. To rub it in my face, no doubt."
George bristled a little; he understood Elisa's anger, but Lydia was his fiancé. "She's not like that, not anymore." There was a time, he knew, that Lydia wasn't above petty sibling rivalry and hurting people in her search for personal happiness. He had been like that, too - forsaking Elisa's love for her sister's. But years had passed and they had changed, grown, even matured. "She's different now. If only you would see her would you see how much she has changed. Lydia is not the scheming, frivolous teenager you remember her being."
"And you're not the same cold-hearted bastard who left me for my sister, right? Is that what you're trying to tell me?" Elisa shot back.
"No, I mean... yes, but - " He shoved his hand through his hair, frustrated and grasping for something he could say to make her understand. "We were young then, stupid even. We've changed, don't you see? We want to make amends - I want to make amends, if you would only let me."
"People don't change. They just assume a new outer self to cover up what they used to be, but inside they're still the same person with the same flawed nature. I saw the real you, and it isn't something I'm likely to ever forget or forgive."
She could be so pigheaded at times, he thought. "How can you live like that?" He very nearly shouted. "How can you live each day with so much anger?"
"What do you care? You left me, remember? You betrayed me when I needed you the most, when I was hurting already from Kitty's passing. I was able to bear it because I had you, I had some sort of constancy in my life, and you shattered my trust in the worst way. How could I forgive you for loving me so deeply when it was all a lie?" Her eyes were fevered and bright, her tears held back from spilling.
George looked at her and could only feel ashamed that things had turned out the way they did in the manner that he had done them. But he loved Lydia now, had loved her in some small capacity right from the beginning. "I never meant to hurt you." He offered; the words were worthless even though they were the truth. And they were worthless because he had hurt her, in more ways that he had thought originally. Had he done that? Had his actions so profoundly affected her that Elisa had turned cold and untrusting?
She wasn't the same person that he had once known, and it shocked him how much she had let their separation affect her to that day. He felt a surge of pity, for the girl that he had once cared for and the woman she had become because of his careless mishandling of her heart.
"We would love it if you would come to the wedding, on your own initiative. And before you tell me to shove it, please let me have my say, even if you don't think I deserve it at the moment." He would plead with her and appeal to her rational side. He could tell Elisa was running on full emotion right now, and he needed her to hear him out. "It wasn't as calculated as you remember, and I never meant for things to happen the way they did. But just think, if we had stayed together for fidelity's sake, would you have loved me knowing that my heart never fully belonged to you? Do you still love me today?"
"No, of course not."
"Then what are you doing here, five years later, letting yourself get hurt by something that you couldn't control. It was my choice, and it was my fault, but don't let that still affect you today. I regret the methods that I employed and the hurt that I caused you, but I don't regret falling in love with your sister." He wished that he could wipe that look of pain from her face, but it wasn't his place now. "Please, think about what I've said and come to the wedding. If not for me or for Lydia, then for yourself."
Elisa remained strangely impassive, as if suddenly everything she was feeling shut off. George moved toward the door, readying to leave. He had done all that he could that day, had tried his best. "Find someone you loves you, as much as you deserve." He left, disconcerted at her silence, but hopeful that she'd understand and perhaps one day forgive him for loving and hurting her in his careless way.
"I think I already have." She whispered quietly, for the first time thinking about William and what he had become to mean to her in the past few months. He isn't George; she remembered chanting that to herself that night on the beach in Santa Monica so many months ago. William is nothing like him.
Nevertheless, a guilty niggling of fear resurged in the back recesses of her mind.
Chapter Fifty-nine
Darcy was finishing up a conference call with three high-profile potential clients - who were hoping to move assets from Guerre & Sons Brokerage to Pemberley, Inc. - when he saw Georgiana standing by his secretary's desk. Hannah sternly nodded toward him, acknowledging that she had followed his order for "no interruptions, whatsoever", then motioned for Georgiana to pass. He met her at the opening to his office, noticing she was strangely frazzled.
"Ana, are you quite alright? What is it?"
"I'm fine." She shot a look of annoyance in Hannah's direction. "I would have told you sooner, but... Well, I'm not sure if it means anything... but - " She fidgeted.
Something was worrying her. "Yes?" He prompted. "You can tell me."
Georgiana tried not to let her unease show too much, in case she was jumping to conclusions or sticking her nose in business that didn't concern her. "There was a man waiting in our office today. He said he wouldn't leave until he saw Elisa."
"Who?"
"I don't know - a stranger. When Elisa came back from lunch, she went in and talked to him. They were alone for maybe ten minutes or so, and then he walked out. I went back in to check on her and she... She looked like she wanted to cry, William, so I knew he had upset her but she wouldn't tell what was wrong. She said she wasn't feeling well, that she was taking the rest of the day off, and she just left."
"Left?" Darcy began to worry.
"Yeah." Georgiana fretted. "I tried calling you straightaway, but Hannah said you were in the middle of an important phone call. I came up to wait until you were finished."
He was already in motion, spurred by the thought that Elisa had gotten hurt somehow. He began gathering his things from his office to take home when an idea came to him. Picking up the telephone, Darcy called down to the front desk on the lobby floor of his building. Usually, visitors to the higher level office floors were asked to sign their name on the guest register; he hoped his employees had been diligent in their task, hoped that this would give him a clue as to why Elisa had run off so unexpectedly.
"Pemberley, Inc. Front desk, Maya speaking. How may I direct your call?"
"This is Darcy." He said brusquely. "I need you to check the sign-in logs for today, around 1:30 PM."
"Yes, sir." The voice piped, eager to please the boss. "What should I be searching for?"
"Someone came up to the Añya floor, specifically to see Elisabeth Bennet. I need the name of that person." He wondered if he would be so lucky.
A few seconds passed before the voice came back on line. "A 'George Wickham' checked-in at 1:42 PM to see Ms. Bennet. Is there anything else I can do for you, sir?"
"No, that is all. Thank you." Darcy hung up the phone, feeling surprised and wary. What in the world was he doing here, of all people?
Georgiana had been observing her brother the whole time. She could easily see his concern for Elisa. "So, who was he?"
"George Wickham." He said, the name leaving a bad aftertaste in his mouth.
"Is that...?" She started to ask. Elisa had not told her personally the whole of her history, but Georgiana had gathered from bits and pieces that Elisa had left California after a relationship had ended badly.
"Her ex-boyfriend, from a while back." Darcy confirmed her suspicions. He was unsure of his next course. Would Elisa want him to come comfort her, find out what was wrong? Or would she want to be left alone to deal with whatever she was feeling? And if that was the case, if he came and found her anyway, would she resent his interference?
"That can't be good." She commented, for lack of anything appropriate to say. "You probably should go find her."
"Yeah." He was conflicted as to which way to play it. If he went now, would she consider it genuine concern or some sort of subconscious jealousy on his part over George? It was difficult to predict, sometimes, how Elisa's mind worked. I probably should go and find her. She's probably hurting at whatever he said, or at least hurting from the memories of their breakup. She needs to know that I'll be there for her, whenever she needs me.
"Davis will be here in ten minutes." Georgiana interrupted his thoughts. She had made a quick call to the garage when it looked like he wasn't going to do anything.
"Tell him he needn't bother." Darcy grabbed his briefcase and was out the door. "I'll take the subway."
"But William - " She began to say.
"It'll take less time this way." He stepped into the elevator.
She was about to argue with him, but decided against it. It really wasn't the time to be discussing transportation alternatives. "You find her and make things right, okay?"
"Yes, of course." He said, with confidence that he didn't feel. Finding her wouldn't be the problem, but making things right? That was something he feared he would never be able to do, not for Elisa. Maybe he would lose her, after all, to the painful memories that followed her like a shadow.
She wasn't at home. Darcy hadn't really thought she'd make it easy for him to find her, but he had hoped. In reality, she could have been anywhere in the city. Almost every place in the city held some sort of special meaning to her, in ways that they had never done for him. In many ways, she was a sentimental type of person, with odd little quirks and a generous heart that continually surprised him. Where would she go?
As he searched his mind for something that she might have offhandedly said to him that could indicate where she had gone to get away from everything, he noticed that he had wandered down the street and ended up right in front of Darcy's - the same store of his coffee-shop chain that he had first seen Elisa. It was funny how much things could change in less than a year, he thought.
Absently observing the patrons sitting by the window, his eyes alighted a very familiar figure sitting in the corner. Elisa. He could only partially see her face, but the sweep of her hair and the delicacy of her fine hands circling a ceramic cup were known to him. He quickly went inside, worrying about whether or not his presence would be appreciated.
She didn't see him until he was standing directly before her. Lifting her head, she cautiously looked up at him.
"How did you find me?" She asked softly as he sat down in the chair opposite her.
"Luck." He was about to reach for her, but at the last second hesitated and dropped his hands to the table. "I went up to your apartment, but you weren't in. I was walking around and happened to stop just outside the window here. That's when I saw you."
She gripped the mug tighter, the tea inside it wafting its sweet fragrance of chamomile and mint.
"Do you want to talk?" He asked after a moment. "You can tell me anything, you know that."
Elisa nodded. Her mind was still fuzzy after her encounter with George earlier that afternoon. She loosened her death grip on the ceramic mug. "I ran out at home, that's why I came here. Otherwise, I would have been home." She explained, rambling because she was unable to stop herself. "Darcy's makes a surprisingly good blend, in spite of its devotion to coffee beans instead of tea leaves. I think you should branch out into tea. I mean, there's a pretty good market for it on the East Coast."
"I'll make a note of it." Darcy said gently. She was avoiding the subject, and although as much as he, too, wanted to avoiding talking about George and causing her unnecessary pain, everything needed to be out in the open as quickly as possible. He reached for her again, this time grasping each of her hands in one of his own. The cup of tea sat in the middle of the table, like a focal point of their awkward silence. Lightly stroking her palm with his thumb, he sighed quietly. "I wish you would tell me what happened today."
She didn't pull back her hands like he had expected her to. Which meant they really had progressed as a couple. "I suspect you already know or you wouldn't be here."
"I want to hear it from you, if you'll tell me."
"Not here." She said, standing up slowly. He thought she was going to leave him sitting there, but after a few paces Elisa turned around and looked at him expectedly. "We can talk at my place, unless you'd rather not."
Relief flooded him. Instead of pushing him away like Darcy feared she would, Elisa was going to let him in, confide in him her most secret of thoughts and wishes, and hope that he truly was the man she thought he was. They adjourned to her apartment in silence, Darcy holding on to her hand because she let him. She offered him a beverage and he declined. Sitting on one side of her sofa, he waited patiently for her to come to him.
Elisa paced around the room, trying to gather her thoughts. When she realized how foolish she was acting, she stopped, marched determinedly toward the sofa, and sat down beside him. She opened her mouth to start talking, but nothing came out. Why is this so difficult?
"George came to see you today." Darcy started for her.
"He wanted me to come to the wedding." She added, as if that explained everything.
"Between him and your sister, right?"
"Yes." Elisa recalled George's apologies and appeals for forgiveness and her reaction to them. "I told him I wouldn't go, but he was insistent that I did."
She told him what had been said, the harsh words that had been tossed around, mostly by her. She told Darcy because, for some reason, she felt that he would understand - understand, and not judge. Darcy listened without interrupting, and by the end of her spiel - which had started out stilted, heated up quickly, and then ultimately cooled down - Elisa felt fairly calm about the altercation.
She got up and took something out of her curio cabinet. "It's strange, but I still have this." She showed him the silver object in her hand.
"What is it?" He asked.
"His promise ring. He gave it to me the Christmas before we broke up... And I still have it." She sighed, sitting back next to him. "And do you know what makes me so mad?"
"What?"
"That even though I hated him for so long, still dislike him to some degree today, there's a tiny, microscopic piece of by heart that loves him. That thanks him for those years before his betrayal because he loved me when he didn't have to, when no one else really did." She fiddled with the ring contemplatively. "I probably should get rid of it." She noted, absentmindedly.
"Here, I'll take it." He pocketed the ring before she could protest. Darcy shifted and laid across the sofa, pulling Elisa toward him until she rested on her side, her back to his chest. He reached his arm around her and interlocked their fingers, as if to impart his strength to her through his touch.
"You know what the worst thing was about the meeting with him today?" She asked, snuggling closer to him.
Darcy smiled into the top of her head. "That you didn't get to hit him?" He joked.
She giggled, like he hoped she would. "No... That what he said about me was a hundred percent true. I devoted so much of myself, my time and energy, into hating him and Lydia for what they did that I forgot how to live my life like other normal people."
"I think I tried telling you that once before, but you ignored me." He pointed out.
She could hear the indignation in his voice and gently placed a kiss on his forearm to soothe his pride. "Well, you're usually pretty smart about things when it comes to me, aren't you? I just think it was hearing it for the first time from him, realizing that George had become the voice of reason that finally shocked me into believing it."
"So... you're okay right now?" He asked.
She pulled his arms closer. "I'm perfectly fine. I had a good cry earlier, did some yelling with you, and now I feel better. So thanks."
"For what?"
"For understanding me better than I do myself most of the time. And for coming to find me, even though I'm sure you were worried how I would react."
Like you wouldn't believe. "Nah." He gave her a good squeeze and then sat up slowly. "Do you feel like pizza?"
"What?" She laughed at his non sequitur while checking her watch. "It's only 4 PM."
"Anytime's a good time for pizza." He responded, smiling. A potentially disastrous confrontation had been deflected, and Darcy was thankful for his good fortune. Whether she realized it or not, Elisa had trusted him with her heart. And Darcy vowed to himself that, if he could help it, her heart would never break again.
Chapter 60
To Elisa's relief, George didn't come calling later that day nor did he come calling any day after. He did, however, leave an exceedingly polite message on her answering machine - her number, she was sure, he obtained from her father. She was tempted to erase his message, but some masochistic piece of her brain prevented her from pressing the delete button. Elisa would stand in front of her machine for minutes at a time, trying to work herself into a good anger so she'd be able to erase the message in a fit of violent fury, but it didn't work and the message remained.
"I know you're angry Elisa, and you have every right to be. I didn't come to stir up bad memories or cause you any undue pain... You've probably erased this by now, but... The wedding is July 21, 6 PM at the Ritz Carlton in Laguna Nigel... I wish you would come, even only if you sit in the back... I guess I should hang up, but... Well, your father misses you, Elisa. And your mother does too, even if she doesn't always show it... So yeah, I'll see you. Hopefully. Bye."
Should I go?
She wasn't sure if she wanted or didn't want to. Certainly, seeing her father again would be a plus. Her mother... Well, she'd have to think about that one for a while. But seeing her baby sister and the man she loved and dated for four year get married? Elisa wasn't sure if she could handle that just yet, even though she knew that she wasn't in love with George anymore. But the resentment lingered, no matter if it should have or not.
Lydia. There really wasn't much to be said about her: several years Elisa's junior, perpetual underachiever, selfish and foolish girl. At least, that was how Elisa remembered her sister as. George could have been perfectly right when he said that Lydia had changed for the better, but in her opinion, trusting George Wickham was about as smart as trusting a used car salesman. Lydia, the spitting image of Fanny Bennet, had always been her mother's favorite. Kitty had been the eldest and the pride and joy of the Bennet family, but Lydia... no matter how silly or inappropriately the girl acted, Fanny would think her youngest had hung the moon.
It was sickening. And it made her not a little bit envious. How Elisa wished her mother would readily and openly accept and love her as she was. But that seemed an unlikely possibility now. They had been separated and estranged for such a long time, even before Kitty's accident that one dismal January. And seeing her mother during the L.A. trip only brought a resurgence of resentment and anger.
But that is neither here nor there...
It was a balmy Saturday in early July and Elisa was home, lounging on her bed and reflecting upon circumstances that had led to her eventual flight to New York City so many years ago. The space of five years seemed to soften the events into a mellow haze, melding random happenings into a billowy cloud of faint bitterness and an underlying longing for love. At the time, when it seemed like she was ages younger, everything had been so intense, terrifying, and stressful. In an act of defiance she had packed everything away and accepted NYU's invitation to study at the university. She had only wanted to get away from everything that reminded her of Kitty, or of George and Lydia and everyone's seeming indifference to her hurt feelings.
Maybe it had been a selfish move. But she had been so angry and tired of trying to make her mother understand her and tired of trying to communicate to her father who rarely spoke a word except to exact some demanding command. Two years after the move, she was out of school, the scholarship she received for the drama school ended because, god forbid, she didn't want to be an actress. Not having enough money to continue studies in another area and being too stubborn to ask her parents for money or to simply move back home, Elisa had taken it upon herself to do what she could to provide some semblance of life for herself.
Taking the job at Darcy's had been an easy solution, as the chain has opened a new store just minutes from her apartment. But two years of serving coffee and never really going anywhere or doing anything with her so-called life had begun to take its toll on her.
Until that day...
Elisa smiled at the memory. Stern Mr. Darcy visiting her particular shop, stuffy and snobbish. How she had loathed him then, under the misapprehension that he had gotten her fired. And now, after many odd and wonderful machinations of Fate, she had a wonderful job at Pemberley, Inc. and was dating the very same Mr. Darcy - who turned out not to be as stuffy and snobbish as she thought. Who knew?
There was a knock at the door. Then the bell rang.
Curious as to who would visit her unannounced, she slung on a light robe and padded out into the living room. The knock came again, and this time it was in a distinctive pattern particular to Darcy. She grinned, opening the door and flashing a smile great enough to bowl over the sternest of men.
"Hello beautiful." Looking wonderfully handsome in a neat white polo and khaki trousers, Darcy twirled her in the foyer before closing the front door. "I see you've been in all day." He acknowledged her casual wear consisting of a tank top, boxers, and a very old, very see-through robe.
She self-consciously ran a hand through her messy hair. Resisting the urge to yank the robe around herself, she lifted and kissed him on the cheek. "Nice to see you, too. Anyway, it's my Saturday to do whatever I wish to do." She tugged him into the room. "What're you doing here?"
"Just felt like seeing you." He replied, a faint blush on his cheeks. It was kind of embarrassing, at least to himself, the extent of his obsession with one Elisabeth Bennet - the woman who had stolen his heart without much effort and held onto it her tight, silky clasp. The sight of her stirred his spirits. "Do you mind?"
"Of course not. Do you feel like vegging out with me? Or does that go against your finer sensibilities?" She teased, always impressed at how clean and pressed he looked in whatever he wore.
"I'd love to veg with you."
Because she couldn't talk to her brother about it and because Richard didn't seem concerned about his cousin's budding relationship with Elisa, Georgiana turned to her boyfriend for advice and comfort.
"But he's happy, isn't he?" Jared asked, idly stirring his soda with a straw. "I thought you wanted him to date."
"I did, but - " She looked out the window of the eatery. "I don't know why I'm obsessing over this."
He reached for her hand and held it tight. "I do." He waited until he had her attention again. "William's your brother and Elisa is one of your closest friends. It's only natural for you to be worried that things will go wrong, because you love them both so much"
"You're right." Georgiana said after a moment. "Okay, I'll stop thinking about it... But what if they break it off?"
"They won't."
"What if she hurts him?"
"She won't."
"What if he hurts her? Then what would I do?"
"He won't." Jared smiled indulgently. "Ana, darling?"
"Yes?" She was still distracted.
Sometimes she was so cute, worrying about things beyond her control. "I love you."
That shut her up. Looking slightly dazed, Georgiana stared at him. "What?"
"I love you, you silly girl." Jared squeezed her hand. "Are you okay with that?"
"I - I'm fine." Elation filled her instantly. "You love me."
"Uh-huh." He was trying not to laugh at the shocked expression on her face.
Her insides turned to mush. "I love you, too." She finally said, a bit shyly.
"I'm glad to hear it." Because she looked so irresistibly adorable, Jared leaned over and kissed her. His heart sped up as she ran her hands up into his hair, pulling the strands through her long fingers. She's mine, he thought. She's mine, and I am so lucky I found her. He hadn't told her he loved her because he wanted to distract her from her obsessing; his feelings were real and they were genuine. But if professing his love would stop her from worrying herself to death, then he supposed it would be an added benefit.
They grinned idiotically at each other for a few minutes.
After a while, her nose scrunched up in thought. "Do you think William loves Elisa? Does she love him? What if he loves her but she doesn't love him? What if - "
Jared let out a comic groan.
"This is nice." Darcy commented politely.
"Mmm." Elisa replied, not paying him much attention.
"I don't think I've ever been in your bedroom before."
"Mmm?" She was solely focused on the small TV propped on one of her wooden bureaus.
He was highly amused at her level of concentration. They were sitting side-by-side on her bed, backs leaning against stacks of pillows by the headboard. She shifted suddenly, flipping over until she was lying on her stomach, her feet by his chest.
"Eli - "
"Shh!" She cut him off. "It's the big number." On the TV screen Fred Astaire, along with a chorus line of tuxedo-wearing men, performed "Top Hat, White Tie and Tails". She sighed dreamily, engrossed with the music and dancing. After it was over, she turned to him with an impish grin. "I love old movies."
"Do you, now?" Darcy took pleasure in her sunny expression. Just seeing her smile, full of fun and joy in the simple things in life, made him feel wonderful.
"What's not to love? Gorgeous costumes, fantastic music, stellar dancing, amazing actors and actresses." She shimmied a little to get more comfortable as she turned back to the TV.
Distracted, Darcy noticed how his advantageous position allowed him a rather nice view of Elisa's bare legs. He tried to focus back on the TV, but being human and potently male, his eyes trailed back to her figure. He closed his eyes in desperation. Get a hold of yourself! You're not some randy teenager. Geez.
"William?" Elisa, who was now sitting up, poked his arm. "Are you okay?"
He looked back at her, both disappointed and pleased that she was primly sitting by him once again. "It's nothing. I'm fine."
She snuggled up to his side, pleasantly lethargic and comfortable in the warm afternoon and in his embrace. He put his arm around her shoulder, brushed his fingers down her arm. By the time the movie was done, he was feeling quite tired himself.
"Sleepy?" She asked softly, gently toying with his hair.
"A bit." The day slowly drifted into late afternoon.
"You can nap here for a while, if you want."
"Okay..." He mumbled before falling asleep.
She stayed next to him for a few minutes, enjoying the weight of his arm on her shoulder and the warmth of his body on her side. He's in my bed, she thought suddenly. William Darcy is actually in my bed at this moment, sleeping. She remembered the slightly shocked look on his face when she had led him into her bedroom hours before. Laughing softly, Elisa sat up and looked down on the sleeping man. God, he's so beautiful. And he's mine.
Darcy stirred as she quietly slipped off the bed. She walked over to the door that opened into the living room. Pausing for a moment, she turned around and leaned against the doorframe. He looked so sweet, curled up to one of the body pillows that covered her bed. He looks like a little boy, she thought, grinning.
"I love you." The words came out as a hushed whisper. Surprised that she had voiced her subconscious thoughts, Elisa held her breath, fearing that Darcy had heard her. But he hadn't; he slept on, oblivious to her revelation. Hands slightly shaking, she went into the living room and plopped down onto the sofa.
It wasn't so much that she had said the words that frightened her, but that she had meant them completely, a hundred percent. She was in love with William Darcy. And that scared her.
Chapter 61
It was difficult to feel that everything was right in the world when the Dow Jones and NASDAQ had just plummeted several hundred points. But Darcy was making it a point to not grumble and frown as he watched the opening bell ring at the NYSE on TV. Still, he couldn't help but feel pressured to make things right when so many of his investors were counting on the know-how and security of the Pemberley name to keep them financially afloat. He sighed. It was increasingly bothersome to him that work played such a large role in his life. Up until recently, managing and directing all operations undertaken by his beloved Pemberley, Inc. had been his world.
Then a few months ago, things had changed. Sadly, it wasn't a drastic change as he had anticipated. Still, loving Elisa had knocked him out some emotionally, and on a personal level things were progressing quite nicely in his free time.
But such as it was, he had little free time, indeed. Work was still top priority. And it irritated him because he recognized this and still continued to let it happen. Though recently he had made overtures to spend more time with people he cared about, in his heart of hearts, Darcy secretly wished he could get away, if only for a couple of days. For almost six years now he had taken on responsibility perhaps beyond his years. He had been entrusted with the welfare of his younger sister and had been expected to fill the shoes left empty by the tragic death of his father.
Sometimes, especially in the earlier years, he has felt those shoes were extremely difficult to fill. But since then, Pemberley, Inc. bloomed and succeeded far more than he had ever expected. Darcy was financially sound, residing in a fantastic apartment with his well-mannered younger sister, living the life most people would kill to have. And yet sometimes he felt that the responsibility he had been given so early in his life had stolen from him years of... freedom. Not that he didn't love Pemberley or was bitter that he had had to raise his then teenage sister into her early twenties. Darcy was proud that he had succeeded in the manner that he had, with a civilized yet ruthless determination to win and prosper and make something of himself that, had they been alive, his parents would have been proud of.
Still, he wished that his life wasn't so centered around work. But wanting to break free of his duties made Darcy feel guilty, like he was shirking off responsibilities he had no right to abandon. People needed him, his legion of employees depended on him, his clients trusted him with their millions. Who was he to say, "No thanks. I'll see you in a month." and fly off to Aruba for a stress free vacation? So, instead of spending his time in the manner he wished, spend his hard earned money on things that he enjoyed, Darcy toiled and argued and lived and breathed the stock market news.
Georgiana had called him "too serious" countless times before. He had made an effort to break his annoying habit of stoicism and avoidance of people in general. And meeting Elisa that past November had started a chain of events that changed some, and probably the most important, aspects of his life.
Being with Elisa had brought to him a level of happiness he hadn't previously experienced in other relationships. She was everything bright and exciting, fresh and enchanting. Granted, he had loved the challenge of breaking through her defenses. He supposed it was the male-hunter instinct in him that nudged him to persist when she rebuffed him, pursue her until she gave in. And then when he had gained a measure of her trust, he discovered that her broken heart elicited something in him to protect her. Chauvinist as it sounded, Darcy did enjoy being 'the protector', not that Elisa needed or asked for him to defend her and keep her safe. But seeing her so unhappy made him wish that she would never be touched by unhappiness again.
Darcy didn't know exactly when and where he had fallen in love with her. Maybe it had been gradually building: first ambivalence, second mutual respect, then curious interest, followed by cautious admiration, then bam... he just knew that he loved her. There was no rational explanation and, perhaps, no need of one. Darcy had lived for so long bound by his need for logic and reason, but maybe some things just defied reason or didn't have an explanation. Maybe his love for Elisa just was.
"Mr. Bingley to see you, sir." Hannah's voice buzzed over the intercom.
"Send him in." Darcy relayed back. He was glad to have his thoughts interrupted. Looking down at his desk, he realized with some amusement that for the past half-hour he had been doodling all over the front page of the Wall Street Journal.
"Hey Darce." Bingley greeted as he unceremoniously plopped down in one of the chairs in front of the desk. "How are you holding up?"
Darcy grunted in response, then remembered he was trying to be personable that day. "Okay."
"Stock market blues?" Bingley asked.
"Yes, I suppose. How come you're so dang cheerful? Have you seen today's reports?"
"It's kind of hard to miss them." Bingley quipped, still ever-cheerful. "But remember, it's my philosophy to look on the bright side of life."
"Yeah, yeah." Darcy waved off Bingley's infectious good humor. "I've know you for years and I still don't get the whole optimist thing. I don't suspect I ever will, will I?"
"No, I don't suspect you ever will." He grinned. "Anyway, I heard from a little bird that Kingston is dropping by in about an hour. I thought you might like a warning so you could maybe head home a little early."
Darcy groaned. Kingston was about the last person he wanted to see in the midst of a stock market meltdown. He could just hear the yelling already - yelling that only Kingston could get away with because he was old and because he was a friend of the family. "He probably has the building watched to make sure I don't escape before he can tear my head off."
"He's bringing Anne." Bingley added.
"Oh dear god, someone kill me." Darcy uttered, already defeated. "I didn't know she was back from Europe."
"Just. Guess what her first request to 'Daddy' was?"
He had visions of Anne fawning over him, which was as bad if not worse than Kingston on a rant. "I don't want to know."
"To see 'her precious William'." Bingley snickered.
Darcy frowned. "How do you know all this?"
"A little bird told me." Bingley laughed at the expression on his friend's face.
He was in a terrible mood. The U.S. economy was going to hell in a hand basket and he couldn't do a thing about it. He was frustrated thinking about his personal life. And at the moment, he really did not want to humor overbearing Kingston and his daughter. "Well, your little bird needs to die." He mumbled, grumpy.
"So... have you decided yet?" Janine asked, nibbling on a biscuit.
Elisa shrugged. "I don't know yet."
"Whether you're going to go, or whether you're going to ask William to go with you?"
"Both." Elisa sighed, restlessly stirring her soda with a straw. "I don't know, Janine. I really don't."
"I think your sister would have wanted you to go. Kitty, that is."
"I guess." Elisa sulked. "I don't want to go, but I guess it's the right thing to do."
"It would seem a little petty and selfish if you didn't show up at the wedding." Janine pointed out. "And besides, when it comes down to the bottom line, you guys are family."
"True." She sipped through the straw, pondering Janine's words. "If I asked him, do you think he would come with me?"
"So you're definitely going to go, then?"
"I don't know." Elisa repeated for the third time.
"I think he would go, if you asked."
"But he's probably busy, right? Anyway, it's too early in the relationship to be going on trips together."
"Is it?" Janine wiggled her brows.
Elisa choked on her soda. "You have a surprisingly dirty mind."
"It's not dirty, just imaginative. And anyway, we British have been repressing our sexuality for ages... But my question is, have you taken the next step yet?"
"No." Elisa blushed. It was one thing to gab with girlfriends over drinks at a bar à la Sex and the City. It was another thing altogether to casually discuss her sex life in the middle of the afternoon with an until-then proper English lady.
"Why not?" Janine asked frankly.
"We just... haven't reached the point where we could even begin discussing a physical relationship."
"One does not 'discuss' a physical relationship, my dear. These things just happen." Janine giggled. "I'm embarrassing you, aren't I?"
"Well, yes, a little."
"Have you ever wondered why you haven't taken the next step? It seems to me that you're a very compatible couple and extremely attracted to each other." When Elisa didn't say anything, Janine patted her hand. "Oh well. You just think about that for a while. I have to get back. My break is over."
"Bye." Elisa said weakly as her friend walked away.
Since when did Janine talk to me about... sex? Egads. Have I landed in some alternative universe? I mean, I just realized the other day that I'm in love with William, isn't that enough?... Wait, I'm not thinking about that, remember? Love is scary.
Although, I wouldn't mind... Keep your hormones in check, woman. You haven't been dating all that long. It's not like he expects that. Or maybe he does? No... Anyway, what's the normal period of time before couples move onto a physical relationship? Like a few months, right? I probably should ask someone. Not Janine though - seriously do not want to know what kind of repressed thoughts she's had on that subject.
Still, why haven't we at least moved in that direction? I mean, clearly he likes me and I love him. Like him. Like like like.
Maybe you resist a physical relationship because your heart still doubts, a nagging voice said in her head. By distancing yourself physically as well as emotionally, you keep him from hurting you.
I do not distance myself... at least not anymore, and not emotionally.
Then why haven't you told him you love him? It's because, to you, the words bind you to him forever. You've been hurt in the past but that's done and over now. Maybe you don't tell him because you risk binding yourself to someone who will willingly pledge his love to you. Maybe you are afraid not of losing him, but of keeping him...
Love is a terrible thing, no?
She nodded, almost resigned to her fate.
Chapter 62
"William, darling!" Kingston's daughter literally sprung into the room, all giggles and smiles.
"Anne." Darcy tried to inject some faux excitement into his voice. "How wonderful to see you." Not. He looked to Bingley for help, but his friend merely grinned. Well, at least he couldn't escape, either. Just as Bingley had finished warning him of the Kingstons' arrival, Anne had popped in quite unexpectedly early. "You're looking lovely as ever."
"Why, thank you." She twirled, showing off her new dress and tan, compliments of 'Daddy's' money and a few days on his yacht in the south of France. She smiled politely at Bingley. "Hello Charles. How are you today?"
"I'm fine, Ms. Kingston." Bingley answered. "I must say it looks like Europe agreed with you."
"It did, it did." She beamed. "I had a delightful time away... but I really did miss some things about home." She flirtatiously looked in Darcy's direction.
He coughed discreetly, put off by the fact that Anne's time away had not lessened her attraction to him. This was just what he needed - undying affection from the wrong woman. Over the years he had tried, very delicately, to push Anne away or toward other men he thought might strike her fancy. The problem was that she had taken it up into her head that William Darcy was the only man for her, and the more he pushed, the more she resisted. He thought her time away on a different continent would have dampened her seeming ardor. Apparently, this was not the case.
"... Does that sound good?" She finished up something that she had been saying while his mind drifted.
He nodded absently, snapped back into attention.
"Oh, goodie!" She gave him a hard hug. "Daddy will be so pleased. We'll see you tonight, then?"
"Um... sure?"
She kissed him on the cheek and then cheerfully popped out of his office as quickly as she had popped in. Darcy looked to Bingley for clarification. "What did I just agree to?"
Bingley snickered. "Were you even listening at all to what she was saying?"
"No." He answered, truthfully.
"She asked you to have dinner with her and her father, and you just agreed to it. I thought you didn't want to spend more time than necessary with the Kingstons?"
"I don't want - I did what?" He ran his hand through his hair, nervously. "What am I going to do? I have plans with Elisa tonight."
"Call Kingston and cancel, then." Bingley suggested.
"I can't do that. I'm lucky enough as is that he didn't show up at the office with his daughter. She must have held him off somehow, which I'm entirely grateful to her for doing."
"So, what are you going to do?"
"I guess I'll just have to cancel tonight with Elisa. She'll understand."
Bingley looked at his friend, ponderously. He wondered if Darcy really thought Elisa would understand him dropping plans with her to instead spend the evening with a pompous windbag and his daughter. I don't think he understands women at all, he thought with a little sadness and humorous regret.
"Are you going to tell her about Anne?"
"No." Darcy responded. "Why would I?"
"Well, because the woman is obviously attracted to you."
"I think it would be best if Elisa didn't know about her."
"If you say so." Bingley looked to him with some doubt. "But I don't think it's a good idea."
Elisa was momentarily delayed outside Darcy's office when a pretty young woman came dashing out, bursting with excitement. The sight of the woman leaving her boyfriend's office gave her a brief moment of hesitation, but she immediately felt silly for being thrown by something so inconsequential. She gathered her wits about her and refocused on the reason why she was coming up to see Darcy in the first place.
Just ask him to come. Don't think about it too much - just ask him.
Elisa moved to push open the door open to his office when she noticed that it was open a crack from being improperly closed by the unnamed woman. She was about to enter when the sound of Bingley's voice stopped her.
"Are you going to tell her about Anne?"
"No." Darcy's voice responded. "Why would I?"
Maybe I'll come back later, she thought, grateful for any reason to get out of what she had set out to do. Clearly he's busy.
"Well, because the woman is obviously attracted to you."
That caught her attention.
"I think it would be best if Elisa didn't know about her." Darcy said.
What? Who?
"If you say so... But I don't think it's a good idea."
Feeling confused and guilty at the same time for eavesdropping, Elisa halted in front of the door. Her immediate reaction was to flee, but before she could do so Hannah approached her.
"Is Mr. Darcy not in his office, Ms. Bennet?" She asked courteously. "I was sure he was still in." She nonchalantly pushed open the door that Elisa had dared not touch a moment ago. "Oh, there he is. Good afternoon, Mr. Darcy. Ms. Bennet to see you."
Darcy, caught unawares, smiled politely at his assistant. "Thank you, Hannah."
Unable to do anything else, Elisa walked into the room. Hannah left the room and Charles, perhaps feeling some unease from the private conversation he had with Darcy just seconds before Elisa came in, made his goodbyes.
Alone together in the office, Darcy came up to her and kissed her cheek. "Hello darling. Just the person I wanted to see."
"Oh?" She replied, without feeling.
"Yes. I wanted to let you know that I have to cancel dinner tonight. I'm sorry, but it couldn't be helped. But I'll make it up to you tomorrow night, ok?"
"That's fine." She looked into his eyes, wondering why she could not read the secrets behind them. "Um... Did something come up?"
Darcy hedged. "A last minute business thing." It was the truth, but he still could not help but feel somewhat guilty.
"Oh, ok. Well... I came up to double check on our plans." She finished lamely. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then."
"Yes." Darcy kissed her cheek again. "Hmm. Elisa, are you feeling alright? You look quite flushed. Maybe it's best that we couldn't go out tonight, anyway. Perhaps you're coming down with something."
"Perhaps." Why can't you tell me the truth? What are you hiding? "I do have a bit of a headache. I think I'll go straight home and rest."
"You do that." He gently squeezed her hand.
She exited quickly, not trusting herself to not cause a scene or jump to conclusions.
There's a perfectly reasonable explanation why he just lied to me, she thought. There's a perfectly good reason why he doesn't want to tell me about some woman named Anne.
But she couldn't think of one.
The dinner dragged on and on and on. Darcy smiled pleasantly through Kingston's heated tirade about the disappointment that was the US Stock Market. He nodded thoughtfully through Anne's effusive descriptions about her time away and he hardly grimaced when she turned on the charm.
But the longer he sat there in the posh restaurant, the more he wondered why he had come to be bitched at and flirted with when he could have spent a quiet night with Elisa, enjoying her exquisite company.
I shouldn't have come, he thought. She didn't look happy when I cancelled. And to be truthful, I wasn't happy either to do so. This is stupid.
"I'm sorry." He said abruptly. Kingston and his daughter both turned to him with equal looks of surprised. "I just remembered I'm late for... an appointment."
"Are you?" Kingston said with disapproval. "Curious, that you have another engagement when you promised us your time. Why would you agree to dinner if you had somewhere else to go?"
"Well..." Darcy searched for a reason. "I was so surprised when Anne showed up today in my office, that I forgot myself for a moment... If you'll excuse me." He stood up.
"But the main course hasn't even arrived yet." Anne pointed out. "Surely you can reschedule this appointment you have."
"No, I cannot. Please, enjoy dinner tonight without me. I promise to join you another night."
"Well, I don't see what could be so important." Kingston said gruffly. "But if you must - "
"I must." Darcy interjected quickly. "Goodnight, sir. Anne." And then he left the table, giving his companions no time to interrogate him or further delay his departure. While he waited on the sidewalk while the doorman hailed a cab, Darcy pulled out his cell phone and dialed Elisa's number.
She answered on the fifth ring. "Yes?" Her voice was distant and slightly muffled.
"Elisa? It's William."
"Oh, hello... Did you want something?"
"Are you feeling better?"
"A little."
"Good." He silently thanked the doorman as he stepped into the taxi. After giving the driver directions, he turned back to the conversation. "Do you mind if I drop by tonight, then?"
She was silent for a moment. "I thought you had your... business thing?"
"I got out early."
"Oh."
More silence.
"Elisa, are you there?" He asked, concerned.
"Yes. Um..."
"Did you make other plans tonight?"
"No... You can come over if you want."
He looked strangely the back of the seat in front of him, as if Elisa were there and could see his expression. "Of course I want to come over. There's nowhere else I'd rather be than by your side."
"Okay." Her voice was flat. "See you then." And she hung up.
He held the phone to his ear for a moment longer, wondering what had just happened. She sounded kind of funny, he thought. Maybe she's still angry with me for canceling so unexpectedly. I better apologize again when I get there.
Darcy traveled quietly to his destination, unaware that his feelings of unease concerning Elisa's temperament had a sound reason to exist, though for entirely different reasons than he originally thought.
Chapter 63
She didn't know what to do, how to react. He was coming any minute now and all she could feel was a vague sense of disquiet at what was to happen. And then nothing - like her insides had been suddenly drained away. Somehow, she didn't think she'd be able to handle it if her accusations were founded in truth. Elisa twisted her hands together and watched her front door with a sense of foreboding.
Darcy had been such a force in the relationship, instigating almost everything, pushing and pushing until she had admitted it to herself that she didn't mind having him around. In fact, she rather liked his continual presence and was pleased that, for whatever reason, he had found in her something worth liking... But what if his force were suddenly stripped away? She didn't think she had invested enough of herself into the relationship to be able to salvage it if it were to go awry. And that's a pity, she thought. Because I really do care about him.
She felt helpless and foolish for feeling so at the same time.
There was a knock at the door, followed by Darcy's voice in greeting.
Confront him, a part of herself said - the part that would normally not allow others to intimidate it. Ask him for the truth. Don't sit down and let things happen.
But the hurt and insecure part of herself prompted her to timidly accept everything, to not fight back and take the inevitable pain as her due. What did you expect? It asked. That he was different among men?
It was difficult to quiet the doubting voice in her head.
"Elisa?" Darcy called out from the outer hallway. "Are you there?"
"I'm coming." She couldn't delay it any longer.
Just get it over with - what happens, happens - for better or for worse...
"Hey there." He reached for her but she pulled back, swiftly moving out of range while closing the front door. "What's wrong?"
Nothing, her mind willed her to say. Everything. You, me - it's all wrong.
"Darling?"
She tried to shake the conflicting thoughts out of her head, but it was of no use. No matter how much she wanted to know and confront the truth, she feared that she would be hurt. Wasn't ignorance bliss? She wasn't sure anymore.
"You are not George Wickham." She said in a small voice, trying to bolster her courage.
Darcy gave her a curious look. "What?"
"I... uh..." She paused. "You know..."
"Yes?"
She started to feel faint and slightly hysterical. "Are you..."
"Am I what?" He asked gently, guiding her to sit down on her sofa. "What's wrong?" He repeated.
"I thought this would be easier." She twisted her hands worriedly. "No, wait - I knew it would be difficult because there's no easy way to say this... I... I kept thinking to myself that you were nothing like him. But my immediate reaction was to accuse and to put up my defenses." Her voice was trembling, which irked her pride immensely. "But I'm sure there's a good explanation for this."
"What are you talking about?" He was confused.
"I'm sure you can tell me why you lied to me today." She looked up into his eyes. "Or maybe it wasn't a real lie... But you did keep the truth from me, didn't you? When you said that you had to cancel tonight because of business?"
"I - " Darcy faltered.
"Who's Anne?" She asked point-blank, growing recklessly brave with his discomfort. "And why shouldn't I know who she is?" She wished she could calm the feelings surging inside her.
"How did you know about her?"
So it's true. "When I came up today, I overheard you talking to Charles." She explained. "I didn't think it was possible, what I was thinking - because I know you. At least, I think I do... But I knew George for four years, and he lied to me, too."
"I am not George - " He started, resenting the comparison.
Elisa cut in. "Are you dating her now?"
"It's not what you think - "
"How long has it been going on?"
"I'm not dating her." He said with more heat than he intended. Feeling panicked, he grabbed for her hand but she pulled away once more. "Will you let me explain?"
"I want you to leave." She said with forced composure. "I don't want to hear it."
"Elisa - "
"You admit to lying to me tonight?"
He felt like he was digging himself into a deeper hole. "Yes, but - "
"Then there's nothing more to say... I - I can't be in another relationship without trust and honesty." She remembered, the memories of the years before leaving her forlorn. How could she learn to trust her heart when it led her into relationships full of anguish and disappointment?
Though he realized that she had reached the erroneous conclusion he had tried to prevent her from reaching in the first place, Darcy found himself suddenly angry that she could even consider such terrible things about him. Does she know me so little? He became defensive. "Do you think I'm capable of such a deception?" He charged. "Do you think I would forget all that we have been through together to get to the point where we are today, all to throw it away on another woman?"
Elisa stood up and walked toward the door. "I don't know what to think." She stated, almost serenely. "I want you to go." For the first time, she wasn't going to take it lying down. With George, she had accepted it then with barely a fight. She had been so shocked when she had discovered his deception, for days she was numb with suppressed anger and pity for herself - for being stupid and for being in love with a man who didn't love her back. And then when the emotions had coming surfacing up, their impact had lessened considerably - the words she had chosen to express her feelings only sounding like the petty ranting of a spurned lover. But this time, she wasn't going to be turned away without the last word.
"Anne is the daughter of one of my family's oldest friends." He spat out, frightened at how easily she could dismiss him and pull away. He leapt up to reach her. "If you had asked me, I would have told you. Instead, you're jumping to the wrong conclusions."
"If you had told me about her in the first place, instead of lying, then I wouldn't be asking." She said back. "Who is she to you, William?"
"She is nobody... You're everything to me, don't you see?"
"Then why did you lie about her?" Why? Her heart begged for something to cling to. Tell me I'm wrong, because I don't think I could handle it if you broke me down. I've been nothing before, and I won't ever be that again.
"Because I..." He couldn't be angry with her any longer, knowing how much her misapprehensions pained her. "I wanted to protect you from this, from thinking that I could do this to you and from thinking that you had been betrayed once again."
"Wh - what?" Her voice broke, calm no longer.
Darcy ran his hand through his hair, disturbed that things had almost gotten out of hand. "Anne is who I told you she is - the daughter of a friend of the family. She's... she's been in love with me for years, though I've tried every means possible to discourage her."
"Then... tonight?"
"She's been away, studying abroad. That's why you haven't met her yet. But she returned a few days ago and came to visit me this afternoon. Before I knew what I was doing, I agreed to go to dinner with her tonight. She and her father." He clarified. "It wasn't a romantic date, but it wasn't business either."
"Why did you feel like you had to lie?" Elisa asked, quietly. "You could have told me. I would have understood."
"I wish now that I had." He searched her eyes for any hope that he had not bungled the whole relationship entirely. "I'm sorry I lied. It was stupid... I was only trying to prevent you from getting hurt, and instead I hurt you in doing so."
She hesitated a few moments. "Is this the truth, William?"
"Yes." A relieved smile began to form on his lips when he realized that danger was over. "I swear it on my life, Elisa, it is the truth."
It felt like a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders, and the tears that had threatened to fall from misery now changed into tears of disbelief and joy. Without warning, she was on him, hugging him to herself with a desperation that she could not hide. "I'm sorry." She said frantically through her tears. "I'm so sorry."
"For what, darling?" He held onto her tightly, too - touched by her emotional display. I almost lost her, he thought. All because of a stupid misunderstanding and misjudgment on my part. I could have broken her trust and lost her completely.
"For not trusting you and thinking you had betrayed me."
"I should have told you." He kissed her cheek, overcome by the openness and candor in her tears. He felt his eyes grow damp, his breath hitching slightly.
"I didn't think I could bear it if you - " Her tears soaked the front of his shirt.
"I know." He didn't think he'd be able to bear it either, if she had disappeared out of his life. "I love you." He said, not knowing he had meant to say those words at that moment. But it'd felt so right.
She sniffled, pulling away from him a little. "What did you say?"
"I love you." He breathed easier. There, I said it.
Her eyes grew large and surprised. "You... love me?"
"I do." After a few seconds of silence, he wished she would speak. "Now would be a good time to say something."
"I... uh." Her mind clouded and she was unable to think or speak. It felt like someone had clobbered her over the head with a firm pillow, hard enough to jar her senses.
"You... what?" Darcy asked, worried. You don't love me, do you? I'm an idiot. Just when I put myself out there, you wound me - and it isn't even your fault. Good move, Darce. So smart...
She called him out of his miserable thoughts with a touch on his cheek. "William?" Her eyes were bright and shining, her smile trembling with joy. "I love you, too." Her voice was as soft as a caress, and Darcy could feel his whole body shaking with emotion. He pulled her closer once more, kissing her for all that he was worth, putting the passion she invoked in him into the embrace.
Elisa gasped quickly, and they pulled away until their foreheads rested against one another. His breath was fast and shallow, and when she placed a hand over his heart she could feel it beating in sync with every rapid mouthful of air. Can you feel this? He thought. Can you feel how much you mean to me? How my heart races and I can barely catch breath because of you?
"What was that?" She asked, dazedly.
"Love." He answered. "It's love."
After a moment, she felt the blood rushing back to her brain. "Can I ask you a favor?"
"Anything." She could have asked him to do practically anything at that minute, and he would have without second thought.
"Will you go with me to the wedding?" Originally, it had been a leap faith to ask him to come; but now, after finally declaring her love for him, the leap became a short jump.
He caught her hidden meaning, the reason she had not voiced. She wanted him to show her the extent of his love - not by buying her expensive things or taking her places, but by giving her the support she needed when she asked. She wanted reassurance that she could trust him with her heart - the reassurance that she had lost when George had failed her. "Yes, of course."
"Thank you." She said, the two words hushed but full of meaning.
"No." He wanted to jump up, shout out gloriously into the night, and share with the city below the bliss he was experiencing at the moment. With Elisa, he could feel such powerful emotions and sensations of the heart that he had never felt with anyone before. With her, he was free. "No, my love, thank you."
Chapter 64
The weeks that passed between "the moment" and the impending wedding had been blissful and so full of happiness that Elisa and Darcy did not know quite what to do with themselves. They were often found nestled together in the comfy leather couch newly imported into Darcy's office, holding hands and chatting in low but urgent tones. Around the office, people could sense a change in the air. It was not uncommon for an unsuspecting employee to be astounded at Darcy wandering by his or her desk, smiling and offering a pleasant greeting.
Georgiana also sensed that something was different, and one night after a satisfying dinner at home, she confronted her brother.
"What's with you these past few days?"
"Hmm?" Darcy started loading the dishwasher.
"You're acting differently. What's up?"
"Nothing is up." He gave Georgiana an indulgent smile. "Dear, why must you leave all your dirty dishes in the sink?"
She huffed, irritated that he had both changed the subject and talked to her in the knowingly condescending way that she hated. He grinned as she grumpily stuck her dinnerware into the dishwasher and closed the door. "William?"
"Yes, Ana?" He moved into the living room before she could answer. She followed him, pushing open the swinging door with more force than was necessary. The door whacked into the wall before swinging back into place. She gave him a sheepish grin when he turned around to look at her, his brows raised in question. "Ana, what's with you these days?"
"William! You're driving me nuts!" She lifted her hands in frustration. "If you don't want to talk about it, just tell me and I'll leave you alone."
"Talk about what?" He asked. Before she could yell at him for being a dense knot-head, he smiled mischievously.
"Jerk." She stuck out her tongue. "Here I was, trying to be a good sister - and you were teasing me all along."
"Poor Ana." He mussed her hair. "Never could take a joke."
"That's untrue, and you know it." She took in his unusually playful manner, convinced that something big must have happened to change his behavior so dramatically. "William?"
"Yes, Ana?" He grinned.
"Did something happen between you and Elisa?" She asked gingerly.
"You mean, like did we d - " He started, before she interrupted him with high squeals.
"Eww!" She covered her ears. "Don't tell me about that!"
He pulled her hands from her head. "I was only kidding, Ana."
"Still." She watched him cautiously. "I don't want to know the sordid details about your love life."
"Same goes." He countered. "Though, if your love life is serious enough to have sordid details, I'm going to have to have a stern talking to with Jared... Now, what did you want to know?"
"What's with you?"
"Nothing's with me." He smiled.
Unconvinced, she tugged at his hair until he gave way.
"Elisa told me she loved me." He confessed, delighted at how surprise and pleasure crossed Georgiana's face in the space of a second. "Is that what you wanted to know?"
"And do you love her?" She asked, ignoring his question.
"I do." Darcy answered truthfully. "Is that a problem?"
"Of course it's not a problem!" Georgiana jumped into his arms and hugged him hard. "I'm so happy for you both!"
"I'm glad." He hugged her back. He marveled at how things had changed so swiftly in such a short span of time. Georgiana was growing up right before his eyes, and he hadn't noticed it as much before until now because he realized that he, too, had grown up a lot these past few months. And now he was in love with a wonderful woman who had changed his life, and his sister was dating a genuinely great man who doted on her. He thought that if his parents had been alive, they would have been so proud of and happy for them.
"Is it serious?" She asked.
Darcy thought about it for a second. Did he, or could he, imagine Elisa as someone that he could spend the rest of his life with? To love and treasure for all time? Though he knew that he was undoubtedly in love with her, he hadn't given much thought as to what direction they were headed for in the future. He wondered if Elisa ever thought about them, if she ever thought beyond the here and now and about their future, and whether or not she imagined them together forever.
"I think it is." He answered, with a little doubt and hesitancy.
Only a few days after his talk with his sister, Darcy was boarding a plane to Los Angeles with Elisa. He had noticed that during the car ride to JFK, she had grown silent and tense, and tenser still when they checked in their luggage and walked through the terminal to their gate. As they filed down the aisle toward their seats in First Class, Elisa gripped his hand.
"What's wrong, darling?" He could feel how rigid and tight her body had become.
"I always forget how much I hate this." She took a deep breath. "Jesus." Any minute now, she'd start sweating from fear and nervousness. And then she'd push through the throng of people and demand that the flight attendants let her off immediately.
"Elisa, sit down for a moment before you pass out." He settled into the window seat and waited for her to take the aisle seat.
She sat, still gripping his hand. "I've got to - "
" - calm down." He finished. "Hate flying, do you?"
"How did ever figure that one out?" She replied with a weak attempt at a smile.
"I remember when we came out to L.A. in April for Fashion Week, you didn't want to sit next to me on the plane ride there. I didn't understand at the time why you were so averse to sitting next to me. But it was the window, wasn't it? You couldn't stand to be seated next to it?"
"No, I couldn't. Can't. In fact, I can't stand to be seated anywhere on a plane. I really should get off." She started to get up, but he placed a soothing hand on her arm.
"Darling." He gently pulled her face down until he could kiss her lips, softly but with enough enthusiasm that her knees went weak for a split-second. She fell into the seat, feeling dazed and a little bit silly. "I won't let anything happen to you."
"There's not very much you can do to keep me safe if this plane goes down mid-flight." She pointed out.
"That's true. But the chances of that are not likely." He chuckled. "And anyway, I meant that I'd do my best to keep you entertained throughout the flight and keep your mind off your fears."
"That sounds good." She settle into her seat, still worried but thankful that Darcy was understanding about the situation. "I'm glad you're here." She admitted.
He linked his fingers with hers as the plane began to taxi. "Me, too."
Chapter 65
Darcy had made reservations at the same hotel where the wedding was to take place - both to save him the trouble of finding extra transportation and to save Elisa the trouble of staying overnight at her parents' house. He had a feeling that one night in that house would be one night too many, especially now since her sister had taken temporary residence there (to better allow Fanny to discuss last minute wedding details with her soon-to-be-wed daughter). Vacancies were scarce as the hotel had been nearly booked full for months; the Bennet-Wickham wedding actually only accounted for about a fourth of the guest room reservations - the rest had been booked for an AMA seminar to be held the day after the nuptials.
He didn't know how Elisa would react (or if she'd react) when she discovered that they were sharing a room together. He didn't want to think too much about it, because thinking about it made him think of other things - things that he knew Elisa would not appreciate him thinking at the moment. He was a man, after all: it went with the territory.
"Do you want to visit your parents first?" He asked, as they helped the driver load their luggage into the taxicab. They had touched down at LAX around 5 PM and it was not too late to detour briefly to her parents' house if she had the urging to do so. He didn't think she would, but he asked anyway - if only to gauge her emotions at the moment.
"No. Tomorrow will be soon enough." She replied and got into the back seat. Darcy followed her in and closed the door. He gave directions to the cab driver and they settled back for the long trip down to Laguna Niguel. A quarter through the hour-long ride, Elisa fell asleep, exhausted from the entire ordeal of traveling across country.
Darcy held her tightly to his side, his turned face resting on the top of her head. He sighed and tried to get comfortable, but it was of no use. All he could do was think about Elisa and his concerns for their future, if there was to be a future.
Why wouldn't there be a future with her? Why would you even think that? He scoffed, annoyed with himself. The driver looked back at him through the rearview mirror. Darcy gave him an embarrassed smile.
By the time they pulled into the grand driveway of the Ritz Carlton, he had gone over the situation dozens of times, with no success. Why am I even worried about this? Elisa woke up as the cab came to a stop, gifting him with a sleepy smile.
"Are we there yet?" She asked, rubbing her eyes.
"Yes, just arrived." He kissed her brow. "Come on, out we go." He got out on his side and offered his arm as Elisa climbed out, a bit clumsy from her nap.
"Sorry." She giggled. "I shouldn't have fell asleep on you like that."
"Quite alright." He retrieved their luggage and tipped the cab driver.
"I feel bad, though." She tugged on her rolling suitcase. "But I'll make it up to you."
"Oh?" He tried not to be too interested as to how she would make it up to him.
"Yeah." She walked past him into the front lobby, oblivious to his wandering thoughts.
It still amazed him that his hormones could rage with the same force as his teenage years. Man, get a grip. He marched toward where she waited for him at the front desk. "Last name, Darcy." He smiled easily at the woman behind the counter. "I telephoned for reservations a few days ago."
"Yes, of course." The employee clicked away at the keyboard. "Welcome to the Ritz Carlton Laguna Niguel, Mr. Darcy." She motioned over a uniformed young man. "If you'll follow Brian, he'll show you to your room."
"Wonderful. Thank you." He turned to Elisa, wondering if she had heard the woman.
If she had, she didn't say anything to indicate that the singular form of the word 'room' was alarming. As they trailed the bellhop to their oceanfront room, she lightly grasped his arm with her free hand.
"Wow." Elisa exclaimed as the man politely held open the door for her. She surveyed the grand room with pleasured wonderment. "Isn't it gorgeous?" She pushed her suitcase to the side of the room and made a beeline for the sliding glass doors. By the time Darcy tipped the bellhop and secured the front door, she was standing on the balcony, bathing in the late-afternoon sunlight. He joined her there, taken by how beautiful she looked simply standing there.
"Like the view?" He asked softly, placing his arm around her shoulder.
She leaned back into his embrace. "It's amazing. I'd forgotten what it looked like here. It's just as I remembered."
"You've been here before?" He asked casually.
"For my cousin's wedding, many years ago." She took a deep breath. "The smell of the ocean always reminds me of here... of home."
He remained silent, unsure of what to say.
She sighed. "The memories here are bittersweet... Sometimes all I think about are the bad ones, and I forget that there were good memories, too."
"I'm sorry." He said at last, pulling her into his chest so that he stood behind her with both of his arms encircling her shoulders. "I'm sorry for everything you went through that caused you pain or made you cry."
"How can you be sorry for something you couldn't have prevented?" She tipped her head slightly down and kissed his forearm. "You didn't know me then."
"But I wish I had." The sun was a magnificent, golden disc hovering over the horizon. It dipped slightly into the sea, setting as the afternoon progressed into night. It was different here, he thought. Time passed by almost lazily and each moment in the day seemed so much more vivid. Maybe it was being in California. Maybe it was being with her. "Then you would have never met George and never have gotten your heart broken."
" 'It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.' " She quoted. "Or in my case, the past."
"Keats?" He asked.
"No, J.K. Rowling." Elisa grinned. "Harry Potter can be, at times, surprisingly deep."
"Ah." Darcy gently led her into the suite. "So, are you still feeling tired?"
"No, I'm awake. Actually, I'm kind of hungry. Do you feel like having dinner?"
"Sure." He grabbed their room card. "Let's go."
The calypso band was still in full swing when Elisa and Darcy were finishing off their shared Mai Tai. Scattered across the glass table were empty oyster, mussel and shrimp shells, almost finished dishes of smoked salmon and marinated calamari salad, and sticky plates that once held a vast array of delectable sashimi. Elisa giggled as Darcy offered the last sip of the cocktail to her.
"Mmm." Her eyes were bright as she set down the glass. "I feel wonderful."
"Feeling drunk?" His lips turned up at the ends, though he was trying to hold back a grin.
"Hardly." She tried to scowl, but couldn't keep the smile off her face. "I feel wonderfully full." She clarified. "And anyway, I only had one drink, which I shared with you. And which you drank more than your half, I might add."
"I'm bigger than you. I was trying to make it proportional to our relative sizes."
"Likely excuse." She looked up into the dark night sky. There was a spattering of stars in the sky - the combined lights of the cities lining the Californian coast masked the majority of the ones unseen. Still, it was a beautiful sight. Elisa turned her head from the sky to the long buffet table off to the side. "I wish I had room for desert." She squished her face into a pout.
Darcy laughed softly; the familiar deep rumbling sound of it caused her to grin again. "I think you've eaten enough tonight for four people."
"Hey, buffet means buffet." She looked longingly at the chocolate desserts elegantly displayed. "Just as well. I think that if I did try to eat something else, I might explode."
"We wouldn't want that." He stood up, stretching his hand toward her. "Come now, Ms. Glutton, it's time for bed or you'll miss the wedding tomorrow."
"That's fine with me." She frowned as he guided her from the table, through the restaurant and into the hotel interior. She would have resented him calling her a glutton if she hadn't felt so full of expensive seafood. Since Darcy had wisely insisted they share a drink, she supposed her fleeting plan of getting drunk enough to forget her reasons for coming back to California had been replaced by her one-minded consumption of the food before her. Though, ultimately, she hadn't forgotten about the wedding and she had eaten enough oysters to cause a shortage on the Western seaboard.
Before she knew it, they were back in their oceanfront room. Darcy was standing before her open suitcase and she was sitting on the edge of the bed. Had she blanked out? The thought of blanking out without being consciously aware of it was so absurd that she started to giggle. Was she drunker than she had originally imagined? She giggled even more.
"Are you okay?" Darcy asked, surprised by her impromptu giggling. He was sorting through her luggage for pajamas.
"I'm peachy." She replied when she caught her breath, which set her off giggling again. "What are you doing?"
He looked at his hands. One clasped a pair of shorts and the other a cotton bra. He stuffed them both back into the suitcase, trying not to be self-conscious. "I'm looking for something for you to wear to bed, because you obviously can't handle that yourself."
"What?" She stood up and lightly shoved him aside. "I can take care of myself, thank you very much."
"Maybe if you stop laughing..." He moved toward her, somewhat concerned.
"I'm not laugh - " She started, and then realized that she was still laughing, and that it didn't sound fun and peppy, but breathy and desperate. "I - " She clasped both hands over her mouth to get herself to shut up. She closed her eyes and sat down on the carpet, distressed. Suddenly she couldn't breathe as the hysteria washed over her.
"Hey, there." Darcy's voice came through from a distance. "Elisa, darling. Stay with me. Listen to my voice." He sat down beside her, his arm looped around her shoulder holding her close. The closest he could figure was that she was having a panic attack of some sort, similar to Georgiana before her big shows. When her breathing started to regain a normal rhythm, he soothingly brushed his hand down her arm and pulled her hands away from her face. "Okay now?"
"I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me." She said breathlessly, embarrassed.
"Probably everything caught up with you just then." He said, lightly running his fingers on her open palm. "That happens sometimes, when you hold everything inside yourself. You've been avoiding thinking about the wedding, haven't you?"
"Would you have blamed me if I have?" She tried to get up angrily, but he held her to his side. "Hey!"
"Cool down before you give yourself an erratic-emotion-induced apoplexy." Darcy tenderly kissed her cheek. "No need to get yourself in an irrational huff."
"A what?!"
"If you don't want to talk about it, it's fine. But don't get angry at me because I care about you."
"I bloody hate it when you talk to me in that condescending voice. Don't talk to me like I'm a child."
He sighed. "And I bloody hate it when you make incorrect assumptions about me and my so-called treatment of you. I'm not talking to you like a child. I fully realize you're an adult, my love."
"Don't 'my love' me. We're having a fight."
"We're not having a fight. We're having a disagreement."
"I am not discussing semantics with you." She shook off his arm and got up.
Darcy stood up. "Listen to how ridiculous you sound right now, how ridiculous we both sound."
Elisa rolled her eyes at him, then got into one side of the bed and turned her back to him.
"You're not even going to change?"
She didn't answer him.
"Fine. Well, I am."
She listened as he rummaged through his own suitcase. A few rustles and the sound of a zipper unzipping alerted her to the fact that he very well could be half-naked on the side of the room behind her. "You could have the decency to change in the bathroom." She pointed out, staring at her side of the wall.
"I thought you weren't talking to me?" He got into the bed next to her. She felt the bed dip as he settled his weight beside her. She tried not to let her mind drift off into unthinkable areas.
"I never said that." She wanted to turn over and look at him, but she didn't have the guts to when she knew she'd been acting childishly.
He twirled a lock of her hair in his fingers, humming tunelessly.
"I'm not angry at you, you know." She said at last.
"I know." He kept his grin to himself.
"I just wish..." She sighed. "I wish that whenever I had some sort of emotional breakdown, you weren't here to witness it."
He paused in his movements. "Why?"
"Because it's embarrassing. Humiliating. All you ever see me do now is cry and act hysterical. You must think I'm crazy."
"Look at me." Darcy said firmly. She rolled over reluctantly until they were face to face. "I don't think you're crazy... At least, not overly much."
She smiled a little at his attempt for humor, but then frowned. "But you think I'm weak."
"I think you're a lot of things, but weak isn't one of them."
Elisa sniffed in disbelief.
"You moved to New York City when you were eighteen and all alone. You supported yourself for years afterwards. That's not weakness."
"It's stupidity, more like." Elisa muttered. "I see what you're getting at, but it doesn't make me feel less embarrassed about crying all over you and burdening you with my problems."
"That's what I'm here for: someone to confide in, someone to cry in front of. I won't judge you, Elisa, for feeling what you feel. I've been alone too, in some ways. There were things I couldn't talk to anyone about, not even Georgiana. But now I can share my thoughts with you. Do you understand how much that means to me?"
She looked into his eyes, seeing there the love that he held for her shining through. "I do." She brought her hand to his face, stroking his slightly stubbly cheek. "I love you, William. Sometimes, I can't believe that you're with me, that you're mine."
"Believe it." He placed a kiss in her palm. Then he placed a kiss on the inside of her wrist. Before he could become more ardent in his attentions, she pulled away with some reluctance.
"I should get changed." Elisa said as she scooted out of bed. "I'll... be back." She grabbed some clothes and escaped into the bathroom.
Torn between relief and frustration that she had taken the decision out of his hands, Darcy settled back into the bed. He rested his hands behind his head and stared up at the ceiling. Okay, so tonight's not the night. No problem. He blew out a frustrated breath, and then was immediately amused at his own reaction. You need to learn control. "Though... it seems that all I ever do is stay in control." He said to himself. "Sometimes I wish I didn't have to. With my life, with Elisa..." Darcy looked over at the closed bathroom door. He had thought that he had taken a chance by falling for Elisa - a woman so different from any other woman in his acquaintance - and letting himself love her like he had no other.
But maybe, just maybe, he hadn't risked enough.
Chapter 66
"... Meyer-Winston-Riley?"
Elisa slowly awakened, overhearing bits and pieces of some quiet conversation.
"... He came himself, then... No, don't put the offer onto the table just yet..."
Her mind was still hazy and disoriented from sleep. Lifting her cheek from the pillow, she peered with half-closed eyes toward the source of the voice. Sitting upon a richly cushioned seat was Darcy, his face tilted toward the window and his neck cradling the telephone as his hands idly played with the coiled cord. The bright sunshine fell upon his handsome form, revealing his freshly pressed shirt and impeccably creased trousers.
She yawned, and the noise caught his attention. He turned and smiled as she stretched her arms above her head and pulled her body as taut as she could. Relaxing, Elisa smiled sleepily in his direction.
"I'll call you back later, Charles... Yes, I have to. I do trust you... It's not a vacation..." He rolled his eyes as Bingley yelled at him through the phone. "I will, I will. Yes, mother. Bye."
"What was that all about?" She asked.
He stood up and crossed the room over to her. "He told me to have a good time and to leave him alone. I guess he doesn't appreciate me calling every hour or so."
"What a sourpuss." She grinned. "What time did you wake him up?"
"Six o'clock, New York time."
Her brows shot up in surprise. "Are you mad?"
"Maybe a little." He conceded. "Anyway, it's time for you to wake up."
She sat up in bed, the cover shifting and revealing her oversized t-shirt and worn boxers shorts. Not exactly 'come hither and ravish me' attire. The night before she had grabbed the first thing she could get her hands on and disappeared into the bathroom. She had felt in him the glimmering of something overpowering, a sensation almost too strong to be ignored. She had known that if he asked her of it, she could have given herself completely to him. No matter if she was ready. No matter if the timing wasn't right. The intensity of his passion wasn't lost on her - she was tempted, and that frightened her.
"What time is it?" Elisa quickly got up and rummaged through her luggage for something suitable to wear.
She was skittish, which was so unlike her. He smiled to himself, greatly amused. "Nearly eight." He sauntered behind her, kissing the side of her neck in greeting. She jolted as if she were shocked.
"Oh, hello." She laughed nervously. "I'm going to take a shower and get dressed."
"Okay, but after I properly greet you good morning."
"What? Oh - "
He tipped her head back and kissed her lips. He had planned a simple, chaste kiss, but the space of a few seconds changed his plans entirely. Suddenly, desire swelled within him and he remembered how dangerous it was to kiss Elisa, especially when he knew it could go no further than that.
Could one expire of passion, he wondered? It certainly wasn't healthy, at least.
"You should get ready." He said at last, loosening his grip on her arms. "I need to make a few more phone calls."
"Okay." She slipped into the bathroom and rested her forehead on the door as it closed. She could tell that he had stopped his amorous attentions out of deference of her unspoken requests. How many times had she pulled away from him? A lesser man would have left in frustration by now. But he hadn't even questioned it - never asking why, never demanding - only accepting.
Elisa sighed. A part of her wished he wouldn't be so accepting, but the other part still started at his touch, still felt that the idea of them making love was inconceivable - at such a time, at such a place? You're a very contrary woman. I wonder how he can stand it.
Outside, Darcy paced the length of the main room. The TV was turned on to the morning news, but he was distracted. His mind buzzed with countless thoughts, hesitations and reservations. He wished... he wished a lot of things. Mainly, what he wanted right now was the wedding to be over and to be back in New York with Elisa. Things had been touch and go for so long, and now that they were beginning to build a foundation, something solid and real, he didn't want her constantly reminded of the life she had left behind - the one that had left her hurting and mistrustful of the world.
He sat down on the edge of the bed. Thinking and worrying only made him tired, and nowadays he found himself increasingly more wearied of everything. It wasn't that things were wrong with Pemberley, Inc. - things were fine, but everything ran smoothly because he put in those extra hours and spent all his free time doing what had to be done to make things work. He loved his work and loved the success, but always in the back of his mind was the niggling thought: Is it worth it? Is all this wealth and prestige really worth all the hours I put in, all the personal things I hold off, all the things I've given up just to make Pemberley successful?
And now with Elisa... A relationship took work and time - he knew that. But on top of everything else, it was getting a bit much, even for him. Darcy settled his head into his hands, letting himself for a moment feel the full weight of everything.
"William?"
He lifted his head quickly. "Hey."
Elisa paused at the doorway from the bathroom. Her dark hair hung in heavy waves, wet from her shower. She was dressed in a simple denim skirt and a white blouse. "You looked very serious for a second. Something the matter?"
"I was just thinking." He rolled his shoulders. "Foolish thoughts."
"Do you want to talk about it?" She offered, shyly.
Yes. "Maybe later." He said softly, turning off the TV.
"Sure." She hesitantly looked at him. "I'm going to finish getting ready, and then we can go out."
Darcy nodded as she slipped back into the bathroom. He could hear her rummaging about before the sound of the blow-dryer filled the room. He stood and walked over to the table by the window where he had been when she had woken up earlier that morning. Across the surface he had scattered several stacks of various papers - contracts, news reports, urgent memos and the like. The sight of them there, strewn about innocently, made him sigh with sudden weariness. Perhaps he had better stop working for the rest of their time there and "enjoy his vacation", as Bingley had suggested. Decided, Darcy stored his papers into his briefcase and set the case aside.
"I'm ready." Elisa appeared at the doorway. She adjusted the bracelet around her wrist, noting that Darcy appeared less troubled - which was comforting, as she had not, at the moment, the least idea about how to approach him on that front. "Where to?"
"I thought there might be someplace you'd like to go, before we went to see your parents?" He crossed to her and reached for her hand.
"Not really. We might as well get it done with." She grabbed her purse with her other hand as they exited the room. "Why prolong the inevitable?"
"Admirable sentiment." He chuckled and pushed the button for the elevator. "But it probably won't be as bad as you anticipate."
"I guess. We go, pay our respects, stay out their way for a few hours, attend the wedding, and then fly back to New York. Sounds like a viable plan, right?"
He incoherently mumbled in agreement. He didn't believe things would be as simple as that, but who was he to burst her bubble at such a time. Reaching the ground floor, he steered her toward the front lobby with plans to ask the concierge about renting a car for the day. But his plans dissolved upon discovering a familiar man imperiously speaking to the hotel manager.
"Yes... Of course, sir. All the preparations are at hand. You needn't worry at all."
"I would hope I would not have to." The man said. "My wife and daughter will be arriving in a few hours, along with some of the bridal party."
"The dressing room is already arranged in anticipation of their arrival." The hotel manager smiled politely. "Believe me, sir, we have everything under control."
"I'll believe it when I see it." The man nodded in dismissal and briskly turned in their direction. He stopped in his tracks when he spotted them, as if he had seen a ghost. "Elisabeth?"
"Father!" Elisa exclaimed in surprise.
"I didn't think you would have come." Mr. Bennet said, his face betraying the shock he felt in seeing his favorite daughter - the daughter he had almost given up for lost. "You look... well."
"You do, too." She released Darcy's hand and ran up to her father. On impulse, she threw her arms around him and hugged him.
Baffled by her show of emotion, Benjamin Arnold Bennet, the Third, tentatively patted her shoulder. Regaining himself, his face smoothed over into an impassive mask - one that Elisa was quite familiar with growing up. Still, that brief second of surprise she had seen on her father's face was enough to let her know that he had at least felt something at her return.
"He managed to convince you, then?" Mr. Bennet asked after a while, referring to George Wickham's visit to her several weeks before.
"I convinced myself." Elisa said, firmly. She beckoned for Darcy to come over. "You remember William Darcy, Father? You met him last April."
Mr. Bennet eyed the young man cautiously. "Elisabeth's boss's elder brother?" He shook the hand that Darcy had offered him.
"Elisabeth's boyfriend." Darcy said, with a hint of a smile.
So... that's how it is. Mr. Bennet tightened his grip slightly, before releasing Darcy's hand. "Well, then."
"I hope you don't mind that I accompanied your daughter here to the wedding."
Not that that would bloody much matter now. Mr. Bennet critically eyed the young gentleman who had moved swiftly into his daughter's life. Although he knew it wasn't his place, Mr. Bennet still felt irked that he hadn't known about Elisa's new beau beforehand. In his heart, he felt saddened and angry that he had never spoken up when Elisa had departed those many years ago. I've missed so much, he thought with a heavy heart.
"What I think is of little significance now." Mr. Bennet fixed a stern look on Darcy. "Well, I suppose this is all for the best. One of the Turner's sons missed his plane last night from Europe, and Fanny has been in an uproar about her seating chart being uncharacteristically disturbed. I suspect my wife shall be please at your presence."
"And you, sir? Are you pleased I am here?" Darcy asked, almost in challenge, as he draped an arm around Elisa's shoulders.
He lifted a brow. "That remains yet to be seen." What cheek he has! Reluctantly, it made Mr. Bennet like him even more. "So, where are you two headed this morning?"
"We were going to go visit you and Mother at home." Elisa replied. "I suppose we need to rent a car." She smiled at Darcy.
"No need. I will give you a ride." Mr. Bennet said.
"But - " Darcy began to interject.
"I will brook no refusal on this." He said simply, turned around, and walked toward the front doors of the Ritz Carlton with complete confidence that they would follow him.
"Wow." Darcy whispered to Elisa as they walked several feet behind her father. "He's stricter than I remembered."
"You didn't spend enough time with him the last time. You'll find my father strict, but fair." She grinned a little. "It's his way."
"So it seems."
"Plus, you've come in the capacity of 'boyfriend' rather than 'boss's elder brother' - which naturally put him on his guard."
Darcy felt like he was sixteen again, and he was meeting his date's parents for the first time. Only, he had met Elisa's parents once before and he wasn't sixteen anymore - he was a successful businessman with nothing to be ashamed of. Then why do I suddenly feel anxious and insecure?
"Did I mention my father was a First Lieutenant in the U.S. Army?" Elisa asked.
He faltered. "Wh - what? How come you don't call him by his rank?"
"He doesn't like to be reminded of his time in service." She explained in a lowered voice as they neared the car he father had gotten into. "He came from money, you see. His family didn't like that he had joined the Army, and then years later he discovered he had a distaste for fighting. Since then, he's never spoken of it."
"Why are you telling me this now?"
"In case he does something." She glanced up at him. "I'm pretty sure he still has his moves."
"Moves?" He paled.
Elisa laughed. "You'll be fine." She kissed his cheek. "How I'll be is what I'm worried about."
"You'll be fine, too." Darcy handed her into the car. As he got in next to her in the back seat, he noticed Mr. Bennet staring at him through the rear-view mirror. I was prepared to deal with everything else on this trip - but I didn't count on an overprotective father. Great.
As he tried to mentally prepare for the rest of the day, Elisa sat beside him, silently dreading the first encounter with her mother, Lydia, and George.
Chapter 67 Posted on Monday, 6 January 2003, at 2:13 a.m.
The car ride up passed without incidence. Mr. Bennet had remained decidedly silent, and Darcy felt prudent in following his example. Within thirty minutes, they pulled into the driveway of a two-story house he had a brief memory of visiting earlier that spring.
"Ready?" Darcy asked as they got out of the car. He shifted until he faced Elisa, partially shielding her from view of the house.
To stall for a second, Elisa looked down at her hands, which where both being held by his. He tugged lightly as if to remind her he was still there.
"Okay?"
"Not really." She glanced up into his eyes. "I thought I was ready this morning - at least, as ready as I'd ever be. But truth be told, I'm hardly prepared for this at all."
"So we venture into the unknown." He attempted an assuring grin. "Come on, then. I'm nearly as scared as you. Let's both go face our demons together." He moved aside, letting her pass in front of him.
"Demons?" She glanced at him, puzzled. "What have you got to be scared of?"
"Your father, for one thing." Darcy looked up and could see Mr. Bennet frowning at him from the open front door. Behind him Mrs. Bennet appeared, fussing and preening, but clearly pleased at their coming. "Your mother, for another."
"Mother probably loves you by now." Elisa watched as her father leant down to whisper something in her mother's ear. Fanny Bennet suddenly looked at them with a new appreciation. "'If only you could have met Lydia a few months ago, I'm sure you would've fallen madly in love with her, no question about it.'" She said in perfect imitation of her mother.
"Don't talk like that." Darcy whispered as they began to walk toward the house.
"'She's the real beauty of the family.'"
"Hush. I think you're lovely."
"She doesn't realize it, but her words stay with me. They shouldn't, but they do." Elisa muttered quickly and quietly as they ascended the steps to the doorway.
"Oh, Elisabeth!" Fanny clapped her hands in excitement. "Wonderful to have you here, darling. Wonderful to have you both here." She nodded toward Darcy. "Your father has just told me the news!" She stepped back and led them inside the house. "My daughter, dating the illustrious Mr. William Darcy, CEO of Pemberley, Inc.! Who would have thought? And Elisabeth, too." She patted Elisa's cheek. "If it were Lydia, I would not have been so surprised. But alas, she is to be married today."
Elisa's color rose, but she did not speak until she felt under control again. "And where is she?"
"Lydia is upstairs, resting. Preparing for a wedding is so exhausting, my dear. The bridesmaids should be here any minute now." Her mother fluttered her hands. "Oh, there are ever so many things to do right now! You are staying to help, aren't you dear?"
Her eyes flashed dangerously, but before she could respond Darcy cut in. "We would love to, Mrs. Bennet. But Elisa and I already made plans for the entire day until the wedding tonight. We only meant to stop by and pay our respects."
Mr. Bennet looked at them curiously, but said nothing.
"Of course, of course." Fanny bobbed her head up and down, agreeably. The telephone rang from the other room. "Oh, I must answer that. Reverend Michaels said he'd call this morning."
"Mother, we really must be going..." Elisa put in, hoping to make her escape.
"Fine dear, fine." Her mother shooed them away with her hands as she crossed into the neighboring room. "Just be sure to be on time for the wedding. Six o'clock!" She called out loudly.
"Shall we be going?" Elisa asked, a little edgy from the brief conversation with her mother.
"If you wish it, darling." Darcy smiled at her reassuringly. "You're forgetting one thing, though: we don't have a car."
"You can borrow ours." Mr. Bennet interjected. Elisa and Darcy both started at his voice; he had been so silent the entire time that they had forgotten he was in the room.
"Thank you for offering, Father." Elisa turned to him. "But don't you need it for the wedding?"
"We'll be fine. If necessary, I'll drive your sister's car." He took the keys out of his pocket and handed them to her. "Run along now, you two. We'll see you later." He led them out into the foyer.
"Thank you, sir." Darcy said, somewhat flustered. "But really, it's unnecessary. I can get the hotel to send a driver down."
"That would be unnecessary." He opened the door and waited while Darcy and Elisa exited, though they seemed reluctant about it. "I'll see you later." And before Darcy could protest again, the front door was closed in his face.
"Come on." Elisa tugged his hand. "It's best not to argue in times like these."
His mouth was half open in stunned shock. Unaccustomed to being told what to do, Darcy felt pressed to go back in the house and tell Elisa's father that he could get his own car, thank you very much.
"I know what you're thinking." Elisa lifted her face to his, her lips quirked up. "And on any other day, I'd pay money to see you try to convince my father that his way is wrong... But not today."
There was a gentle pleading in her eyes that he barely caught, so distracted he was by his own thoughts. Though it bothered him that her father could seamlessly bully him into doing what he did not want to, it wasn't really an issue at the moment. What mattered was that Elisa was kept happy and calm. Because no matter how much she said she had it under control, he knew that her control was stretched thin at best. How much strength, he wondered, must a person have to confront her past and still stay standing, to face painful memories head on when she was so used to running from them? It must be an incredible amount, and in such a small person. He considered her thoughtfully, newly amazed.
"Where do you want to go?" He got in on the passenger's side.
She turned on the engine. "Anywhere but here."
They spent the remainder of the morning navigating the many freeways lining the Southern California coast. By noontime they were famished and shared a messy lunch at one of the several crab shacks in the Ports O'Call Village along the San Pedro Bay. The ocean air up there was heavy with salt and pungent with the scent of fish freshly caught.
Elisa rubbed her nose with the back of her hand, careful not to touch anything with her sticky fingers.
"Itch?" Darcy asked with humor. He had insisted on using copious amounts of napkins to keep his hands clean while she had delved into the crab legs with abandon. "Need a little help?"
"If you wouldn't mind..." She leaned her face towards. "Just there, on left side of my nose." He dutifully scratched her face with his finger. "That's better." She smiled at him. "Thanks."
"What's a boyfriend to do?" He grinned, gladdened by her uplifted spirits.
Elisa looked out to the Los Angeles Harbor, sighing deeply.
"You seem to have an extraordinary affinity with the ocean." Darcy commented.
"Do I?" She asked, amused by the thought.
"From what I've seen." His eyes searched the watery horizon. "Do you miss it when you're in New York?"
"The beach?" Elisa scrunched her face in consideration. She ripped open a pack of wet-naps and began cleaning her hands. "I hadn't really thought about it before. But I guess I'd have to say that I don't. I like the look and sound of the ocean, the way the waves roll in and out, but I'm not one to jump in."
He made some noises of agreement.
"I do love the City, though." She turned her eyes to him. "Why do you ask?"
"Just feeling some things out." He tried to shrug it off, hoping she wouldn't become inquisitive in turn.
"What things, exactly?" Elisa hid her smile at his obvious discomfort.
"Things." He repeated. She flashed him an inquiring look. "Well, if you must know..."
"And I do." She chimed in. Pushing the used wet-naps to the side of her plate, she leaned back. This ought to be interesting.
"I was simply wondering if you were happy in New York... or if you had any designs on moving back here." He continued before she could interrupt. "Because I don't want you to want to move back."
"Okay." She said, uncertain where he was going with all this.
"I love you, Elisa." Darcy stated, fervently.
After a moment, she spoke quietly. "Who said anything about moving back?" He looked so troubled by the thought that she reached over the table and held his hand.
"I don't know... The idea popped into my head just now. I really don't want you to go."
"I'm not going anywhere." She squeezed his hand in comfort.
They sat in silence for a few moments.
"Remember this morning when you asked me what I was thinking about?"
"Yes."
"I was thinking about..." He started, not quite sure how to phrase it. "I was thinking about how tired I've become of some things in my life. I was thinking about how I want to make some changes - changes that matter."
"Okay..." She said, once again uncertain of his train of thought.
Up the ante and take the risk. "I want you to move in with me." He wasn't entirely sure he had meant to tell her that, but the words came out of his mouth before he could stop himself.
"What?" Certainly she hadn't expected that to come out of his mouth.
"I want you to move in with me, into the penthouse."
"But... Georgiana?" She finished lamely.
"There's room for all three of us. And if not, Ana's been making some noise about getting her own place, anyway."
"But..."
"I love you and I want you to live with me." He said with all seriousness. She wanted to insist that he was crazy for even thinking of it, but when she looked at him, she could see that he meant it. His love for her was evident and written plainly upon his features for all to see.
"Are you - are you sure?" She asked after a moment, her voice almost a whisper of disbelief.
"More sure than anything in my life up until now."
To say that Elisa was surprised at his statement would have been an understatement. Until now, she hadn't realized fully the seriousness of their relationship, hadn't really appreciated how far they had come as a couple. At first, the romance had been light and hesitant, two unlikely lovers slowly revolving around each other in a dizzying dance of discovery. But as the months passed, hesitance seemed to slip away and they had found in each other comfort and stability. Love for Darcy had blossomed in her slowly but surely.
But were a couple of months enough to find one's soul mate? And was there even such a thing as that? Elisa wasn't sure. She knew she loved him, and she knew that he loved her. But a commitment of this caliber was reserved for relationships that survived at least past the six-month mark, wasn't it?
"Yes." She heard a voice say. It seemed like it was coming from far away, through a misty haze. Who is speaking? She thought, and then realized that the voice was hers, shaking though it was. "I'll do it."
"You will?" His face lit up with such happiness that she could not bear to crush his spirits. He sprung up and edged past the table to her, smiling warmly and with so much love.
She could feel a single tear sliding down her cheek, finally resting in the corner of her trembling smile. There was fear and anticipation running though her veins. Had she agreed? Was that her voice that had spoken? She cupped her hands over her nose and mouth, as if to suppress a scream of denial. But what she found instead were nervous giggles of excitement bubbling from within her. His love for her had touched her more deeply than she had ever expected, and it had changed her irrevocably and for the better. Though her brain thought differently, in her heart she knew that this was the right choice.
"I love you so much." Elisa said with conviction. Raising herself, she circled her arms around him and hugged him tight. Her head was cradled on his chest, and she could hear the steady beating of his heart, the rhythmic intake and exhalation of air in his lungs. These sounds brought to her a measure of reassurance and security she hadn't before experienced in any relationship, save the one with her late and cherished sister.
"Are you sure?" He asked after a while.
Elisa kissed him in answer.
Chapter 68
The hour of the wedding was soon upon them. And though they had spent a very comfortable afternoon in each other's company, driving around and enjoying some of the finer points of Southern California, both silently felt that the sooner the wedding was over the sooner they would be able to fly back to New York City.
They didn't speak again of his proposal for her to move in with him. Darcy felt that to unnecessarily mention it again would scare her into rescinding. Elisa felt that her acceptance of his offer was overwhelming enough without talk of moving companies and whether or not she'd be able to bring her furniture with her. It was still a lot to absorb, and she needed time to think.
"We're half an hour early." Darcy said, patting her hand when she looked anxiously at the clock. On their way back to Laguna Niguel he had offered to drive.
"I know." Elisa looked back out the window, watching as they pulled into the driveway. As the valet approached the car, she got out and continued to stare nervously at the hotel.
"Enough time to change." He grasped her hand and led her into the lobby when she failed to move. "Are you worried again?"
"Not worried so much as uncomfortable." She tried to shrug off the feeling. "It seems silly to be so tense about something that hasn't even happened yet."
"Sounds normal to me." He held open the elevator door for her. "It's okay to be tense about this."
"I know it is." She unlocked the door to their room. "But I wish I wasn't..."
Not knowing what to say, Darcy proceeded to the closet and unzipped one of the hanging garment bags.
"It's not that I care about him still." Elisa put in, misinterpreting his silence. "Because I don't... I did love him once, but I've hated him for such a long time. Still, George and I... he was my first love..."
"I understand." Darcy said, simply.
She let out a frustrated sigh. "I don't see how you do when I hardly understand it myself." A few minutes of silence passed before she had gathered her thoughts. "Have you ever loved someone like that, William, and then lost them?... That kind of love is different than the love you have for your family. It involves so much of your self; it involves so much trust and honesty, because it's scary to love someone who has no obligation to love you back... Do you know what I am speaking of?"
"Yes, I do." He looked up from where he was busying with his clothes. "Because I love you like that." He added quietly.
Elisa walked to him and placed a hand on his forearm. "I know you think it would be easier if I could forget him - "
"Easier, yes." He replied. "But impossible... I understand that the memories of him will always be with you. But sometimes... I wish that you would remember that that part of your life is over now." She could hear the slightest tinge of insecurity and frustration creep into his voice.
"But I do." When he began to turn away, she gripped harder onto his arm and forced him to face her. "You're my present, and you're my future - I know this with all my heart." And when he didn't seem convinced, she cupped his face in her hands and stared into his eyes. "The love I felt for him is nothing compared to what I feel for you."
Suddenly, Darcy smiled and let out a short laugh.
"You creep!" She exclaimed after a moment, moving to swat him. "I can't believe you just did that!"
"Did what?" He dodged out of the way, smiling grandly.
"You played on my insecurity of relationships in general, and you made me really worried about us for a second!"
"I did all that?" He asked, innocently.
"You...." Elisa moved again toward him, arms lifted, but he stopped her before she could make contact with whatever body part she was aiming for. "Hey!"
Gripping both of her arms, he leaned in for a quick, apologetic kiss. She tensed, but immediately relaxed. "Feeling better?"
"You did that to get my mind off being worried about the wedding, didn't you?" She asked, scrunching her eyebrows in a scrutinizing fashion.
"If you say so." Darcy shrugged, her doubtful look tugging another smile to his lips.
"So... you're okay? We're ok?"
"We're excellent." He swung around her and walked to the closet. Taking up the other garment bag, he turned around and tossed it onto the bed. "Come on, time to get dressed."
Elisa began to extricate her outfit from the bag. "Don't think for a second, mister, that I'm letting you watch me get undressed."
"I wouldn't even dream of thinking it." He grinned and turned around to face the wall. "Go ahead. Honestly, I've got my eyes closed."
In response, Elisa threw a pillow forcefully at the back of his head, giggling as Darcy flinched in surprise.
The wedding ceremony was simple and elegant. The couple was married under an arched wooden trellis covered with wisteria and climbing roses. Behind them, the summer sun set into the ocean and lit the sky in bright oranges and reds. Elisa and Darcy sat in the second row, behind her parents, holding hands.
Elisa did not want to be moved by the ceremony. She did not want to feel anything but apathy. In heart, she could not rightfully feel any joy at this celebration because the circumstances that brought it about only reminded her of past pains.
Still, the tiniest sliver of her heart felt almost relief - which, could be likened to joy, she supposed - because this unresolved part of her life was now finally over. The chapter was closed. George and Lydia were finally wed, and though she did not feel incredible pleasure from the fact, she did not feel anger, either.
I suppose I am happy for them, she thought, looking to her left where Darcy sat. At least something good came out of all this mess. He squeezed her hand in comfort when he caught her looking at him.
"... I do hereby pronounce you husband and wife. George, you may now kiss your bride."
The guests stirred with excitement at the sight of the newly married couple kissing. Elisa studied them and noted that they did look in love.
"Let's go." Darcy said, pulling her up from her seat. "I believe it's time for the reception."
They followed the crowd as it drifted from the lawn to the open-air marble foyer a few hundred feet away. The doors to the foyer opened up into a beautiful gold and pink ballroom. Along the wall of floor-to-ceiling windows a long table was draped with white cloth and topped with stylish flower arrangements. Near that table - which she surmised must be the head table - Elisa spied her mother and George jovially greeting guests as they filtered into the room. Her father was standing nearby, offering polite handshakes and accepting best wishes, but he was not as obviously buoyant as his wife about the situation.
"I guess I'm sitting there." Elisa nodded toward her parents. "What table are you at?"
Darcy looked at the small card Elisa's father had handed to him just before the ceremony and passed it to her. "Table Five." They looked at the table and saw that it was completely filled except for a solitary chair meant for the missing Turner boy, whose seat Darcy had assumed in his absence. "Do you think I'll be quite safe?"
She rolled her eyes. "The Turners are nice people. Oh, and those two are Mr. and Mrs. Sullivan - they were our neighbors in L.A." They started walking toward the table. "You know, I'm quite envious of where you're sitting."
"Hah." Darcy snatched the card out of her hand. "If I have to spend an evening with the Turners and the Sullivans, you have to spend it with your family. Shoo." He good-naturedly nudged her in the direction of the head table. "I'll talk to you after dinner. Save me a dance, okay?"
"Sure." She gave him one last glance before making her way to where her parents stood. George had disappeared when she wasn't paying attention.
"There you are, dear." Fanny said, cheerfully. "Wasn't the ceremony divine? I declare, I have never seen your sister look more lovely than she does today... Well, don't you look nice? Benjamin, look." Her mother lightly elbowed her father. "Doesn't Elisa look well today?"
"She looks extremely well, indeed." He glanced at her quickly. "Well, shall we get on with this business, then?" He glanced impatiently at the guests still settling in their chairs, who were unnecessarily - in his mind - chatting, mingling, and prolonging the whole reception entirely with their talk. What he wanted most at the moment was to have his dinner and retire home in a timely fashion, but it seemed that the wedding guests and his wife, most definitely, had other plans in mind.
The emcee picked up the microphone, as if he had sensed Mr. Bennet's irritation. "Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to be the first to introduce you to Mr. and Mrs. George Wickham." The guests burst into applause as George and Lydia appeared from behind a curtained door, smiling and holding hands. As they made their way toward the main table, Elisa and her parents took their seats.
She watched as George took up a microphone and thanked everyone for coming, watched as Lydia cooed and blushed when guests came up to congratulate her and admire her wedding dress. If sitting through the ceremony was odd, this was surreal, she thought. In a slight daze she merely sat back and observed what was happening around her, not saying a word.
Before she knew it, dinner was served. She could hear someone giving a speech, making a toast in honor of the happy couple, but she barely lifted her eyes from her plate. She poked listlessly at the herb butter chicken breast, not hungry. The conversation was lively and playful, but none of it was directed toward her and she was thankful.
Every so often, Elisa looked over at Darcy's table. He was, surprisingly, chatting happily with his tablemates, even laughing once at something Mrs. Turner said. She wished she were sitting next to him. At least then she'd have someone she wanted to talk with.
Her mother and father sat to the left of her, and to their left was George and Lydia. Groomsmen, bridesmaids, and their significant others lined the rest of the long table. Though Elisa was seated near the middle of this long group of people, she was visibly alone. Her parents were caught in their own business, and the bridesmaid to her right did not seem interested in talking.
It seemed to her that the plates were cleared as quickly as they were put out, and soon the emcee announced that it was time for the wedded couple's first dance as husband and wife. Elisa looked once again at Darcy's table, but he had disappeared from view. As George and Lydia swirled around the ballroom floor, Elisa quietly slipped along the edges of the room with some vague thought of escape.
"You'll have to move faster if you're trying to get away from me." A voice said easily. She stopped in her tracks and turned toward the owner of the voice. William, of course, she thought.
"Elisa?" He asked, concerned at the half-stricken expression on her face.
"I just wanted a breath of fresh air, that's all." She said, answering his unasked question. "I'm fine."
"Okay..." He looked around. "We can go out on the foyer."
She let him tuck her arm around his and lead her outside. The night air was pleasant and cool. Lit candles in pretty glass votives decorated the banister that edged the grand marble foyer. They lingered momentarily, but the presence of other couples appreciating the night air compelled them to seek solace elsewhere. They followed the lights down the stairs until they were strolling across the grassy lawn where earlier that afternoon the wedding ceremony had taken place.
"Feeling better?" He asked. She had taken him to the very edge of the lawn, where only a short, iron fence prevented them from plunging into the ocean and beach below.
"A little."
He was quiet for a while. "Did someone say something to upset you?
She shook her head in the negative.
"Then what happened?"
"Nothing." Elisa closed her eyes as a breeze blew over her face. "Nothing happened. I didn't speak with anyone."
"Oh."
The silence enveloped them for a few precious moments. Gradually, a slow melody drifted from a radio below, breaking the stillness. They looked down and saw a person sitting on the beach with a small portable stereo. Darcy took up her hand, lifted it to his lips, and placing a kiss in her palm, he closed her fingers around as if keep it there. "You promised me a dance."
She listened closely. "This is hardly music to dance by."
"Sure it is." He said, pulling her close to him.
Is it getting better?
Or do you feel the same?
Will it make it easier on you now
You got someone to blame?
You say...
One love,
One life,
When it's one need
In the night,
One love
We get to share it,
Leaves you baby if you
Don't care for it
They swayed gently, absorbed with each other. "It isn't romantic." She pointed out, softly.
Did I disappoint you?
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth?
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without,
Well it's...
Too late
Tonight,
To drag the past out into the light,
We're one, but we're not the same,
We get to
Carry each other,
Carry each other,
One...
He chuckled lightly. "Depends on your definition of 'romantic'. The song... it's about... pain, angst and love." Darcy tightened his hold on her, embracing her entirely. She rested her cheek on his chest, relaxing, knowing that there was a certain measure of safety in his arms.
Have you come here for forgiveness?
Have you come to raise the dead?
Have you come here to play Jesus
To the lepers in your head?
Did I ask too much,
More than a lot?
You gave me nothing,
Now it's all I got,
We're one,
But we're not the same,
Well we hurt each other
Then we do it again
You say Love is a temple,
Love a higher law,
Love is a temple,
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl,
And I can't be holding on
To what you got,
When all you got is hurt
One love,
One blood,
One life,
You got to do what you should,
One life
With each other,
Sisters,
Brothers,
One life, but we're not the same,
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One...*
"So you see..." He smiled to himself. "It describes our relationship perfectly."
"Ha ha." She gently pushed away from him as the song ended. "We're not that bad, are we?"
"Bordering on it. But we're good now." They began to walk back to the ballroom.
"And I supposed you would say that all the bad bits were my fault."
"Of course." He agreed shamelessly. "But then, you are the Queen of Pain and Angst."
"Gee, thanks." She laughed, her troubles slipping away as he poked fun at her. "You make me happy, you know?" She added, after moment.
"I try." He brushed a soft kiss on her lips. "Now, shall we get back to the reception?"
"Yes, we shall." She grinned up at him. "With you by my side I shall be able to face anything."
He looked at her tenderly. "That was incredibly cheesy. But I love you anyway."
A short burst of laughter escaped her lips. "How kind of you!"
He leaned down to kiss her again. From one of the floor-to-ceiling length windows that separated the foyer from the ballroom, a solitary figure watched the couple with wary curiosity.
* U2 - "One"
Chapter 69
"Elisa, there you are!" Fanny Bennet started toward them as they crossed over the threshold into the ballroom. "I have been looking for you two for the longest time."
"What is it, mother? Is something wrong?" Elisa asked, wondering if she should be alarmed.
"Wrong?" Her mother separated their arms, stepped in between them, and hooked one of her arms into each of theirs in a swift, efficient move. "How could anything be wrong? It's my daughter's wedding day - nothing could possibly be wrong." She scoffed lightly and proceeded to maneuver them toward the tables.
Elisa sent Darcy a confused smiled over her mother's head.
"Now, Mr. Darcy." Fanny beamed at him. "There are some people here that I would love to introduce you to."
"Mother, William doesn't - " Elisa started.
Fanny stopped her with a pointed look.
Darcy smoothly interjected, hoping to keep feathers unruffled. "It's okay, Elisa. I'd be delighted to meet anyone you wish to introduce to me, Mrs. Bennet."
Her mother smiled pleasantly. "Well, of course I knew you would be." She turned and addressed Elisa with a vaguely smug expression. "Now, Elisa, be a dear and fetch your father for me. I have something important to discuss with him. He's over by the main table."
And with that she was quickly dismissed. Her mother drifted off with Darcy in tow, and Elisa again felt like a sinking swimmer in the vast ocean of wedding guests, her life preserver vanishing from sight. "Great." She said softly to herself, looking toward the main table. Her father was nowhere in sight. "Great." She repeated.
Elisa walked toward the main table anyway. She wasn't planning to put any particular effort into her mother's fabricated search for her father - obviously it had been a ploy to send her on her way while her mother could do god-knows-what to Darcy. Elisa resolved to not think on it any longer. She wanted something sweet to send her into a sugar-coma and take her mind off the wedding. The sooner the reception was over, the better.
"Hey." Someone tapped her from behind.
She halted, closing her eyes as if to mentally prepare herself for what was to come. She let out a strained breath and turned around. "George."
He was dressed smartly in his black wedding tuxedo. His smile was charming, but a touch wary as he tried to gauge her reaction to him. "Thank you for coming. I didn't think you would."
"I didn't think I would, either." She said, truthfully. He looked the same as ever, so handsome and smooth and cognizant of the fact that his winning personality agreed with nearly everyone. Looking at him now, with his face betraying an inner glow of happiness, she didn't doubt how easy it had been for her to fall for him those years before. George had something about him that could make himself irresistible if he so desired it.
He placed a hand on her arm. "It means a lot to us, to Lydia and me." She could tell that he meant it, but she couldn't understand why.
"I didn't do it for you. Or her." She pulled her arm away, breaking their connection.
"Then why?"
"For closure. I needed... I needed this part of my life over with." He was silent. Assuming she didn't need to elaborate any more, Elisa turned and walked away. George caught up with her at the main table.
"We're family now." He watched as she lifted a glass of champagne from the tray of a passing server and took a healthy swallow. "There's a link between us, a bond that's more concrete than ever. You can't deny it, and you can't forget it because it exists." She didn't respond. "Elisa..."
"What do you want from me, George?" She said with frustration. "Absolution? Forgiveness for your past actions and blessings for your marriage? You can find those easily enough from a priest but not from me." Realizing how angry she sounded, Elisa paused a moment to get a hold of herself. "I don't want my coming here to mean anything to you or her because I didn't come here for either of you, I came for me. But clearly this was a big mistake."
She backed away quickly into an adjoining room. The few people that were occupying the room quickly exited, sensing her disquiet. A couple quietly greeted George as they passed out the room. "I didn't mean to upset you." He spoke to her back.
"Could you please just leave me alone?"
"Look." He circled around her until they were facing each other. "I'm not asking anything of you. I just... we just wanted you to be here. We haven't seen you in forever, and Lydia was worried that if you didn't come for the wedding, you'd never return and she'd never see you again."
Elisa gently dabbed the corner of her eye with the back of her hand, extremely annoyed that her heightened emotions were causing her to tear up.
"Why would she care? Why would any of you?"
"Because she loves you... We all do, Elisa."
She let out a disbelieving huff. "What do any of you know of love?... Nevermind. It doesn't matter now. I'm here, and I guess that's all that matters, really. Now your pictures will be complete with full familial representation." She turned to leave, but he stopped her.
"Your family loves you, whether or not you believe it. That is the truth."
She pushed his hand off her shoulder. "Sneaking around behind my back, lying to me, and hurting me are not the same as loving me. Not bothering to call or write me for years are not the same as loving me. Pushing me aside, making me insignificant, and always... always putting someone or something else before me are not the same as loving me."
"Lydia and I... we shouldn't have gone about it the way that we did, but it's in the past. I've apologized for us, but you haven't let it go - "
" - and why should I?" She cut in.
He ignored her interruption. "And not bothering to call or write? Well, it's a two-way street, Elisa. You could have called your parents, but you didn't. You could have written, but you didn't... These past few years, you've been the one pushing your family aside, and not the other way around."
"They've made me feel insignificant for years before that." Her voice was tight with anger and pain. "I didn't push them aside, I pulled away. Which is not the same thing because they could have stopped me, asked me to stay, but they didn't. And that's the difference."
George knew he would not get through to her, not tonight. Maybe never, he thought sadly. "I didn't come in here to argue with you."
"Good. I'm glad to hear that. Now if you don't mind, I'll be going now."
He moved to touch her again, but thought better of it as her eyes flared in warning. "Wait a second, will you? I can't change your mind or your perceptions, however misguided I believe them to be. But I don't want you to leave here, leave California, without knowing."
"Knowing what?"
"We're family now." He repeated with conviction. "And families stick together, no matter what."
She was weary. Her only thoughts were to get away, to cry and sleep and forget everything. If only that were possible. "What does this have to do with anything, George?"
"You're going to be an aunt. Lydia's pregnant."
Chapter 70
He had to admit, Fanny Bennet was one determined woman. Charming, yes. Just a tad obtrusive, of course. But really, he had to admire her for her sheer persistence. Darcy had a feeling that if she were up to it, she could convince militant nations to give up their arms merely by talking them into surrendering. And her grip! Like steel. He couldn't have tugged his arm away if he tried.
At the moment, she had left him to talk potential business with a friend of her husband's. He was fairly sure that the said friend had no idea of her intention to strike up business deals during her own daughter's wedding, but the friend smiled indulgently as Fanny left them alone to "talk about whatever you men talk about".
"Right, then." The man commented; his eyebrows lifted in curiosity and bewilderment. "Doing well in the stock market, are you, young man?"
"Quite." Darcy answered, for lack of anything better to say.
"Fanny tells me you're William Darcy, of Pemberley, Inc.?"
"Yes, indeed."
"So... How's that working out for you?" The friend continued.
Darcy smiled graciously. "Oh, pretty well. The stock market has its ups and downs, but I think we headed for some ups in the near future."
"Wonderful, wonderful." The man said with enthusiasm. "Well, then. I'm not quite sure why Fanny left us alone to talk business."
"Frankly, sir, I'm also at a loss."
"She did mention I work in construction?"
Darcy caught some movement out of the corner of his eye. "Yes, I think she did. Only on the West Coast, am I right?"
"Yes. And you're working out of New York City, aren't you?"
"With no plans of expansion, as of yet." Darcy thought he saw Fanny Bennet coming toward him with another woman on her arm. It was time to go.
"Yes, wonderful." The man said, unclear as to how to continue the conversation and really if it was necessary.
"If you don't mind, sir, I'm going to get myself a drink." Darcy extricated himself with politeness and rapidity, and not a moment too soon, either. He glanced back as he made his exit and saw Elisa's mother and an attractive woman standing where he was only a few moments before. If her purpose for pulling him away from Elisa was to introduce him to other single women, he didn't want to know.
As he headed toward the main table, with hopes of finding his girlfriend, a stir in the crowd caught his eye. He looked over and saw a man entering a side room and a few seconds later a group of people coming into the ballroom from that room. Was that George? Because he was interested in getting a good look at the man, he made his way over to the side room. As he stuck his head in, he glimpsed another person leaving the room from a door opposite to where he was standing.
A flash of a brunette in a peach dress. Elisa, maybe? Darcy made a move to go after the woman to check if it was her. George spun around as he stepped in, his face flushed with either excitement or dismay - Darcy couldn't tell which. Maybe both?
"Good evening." George said amiably.
"Good evening." Darcy responded.
"Are you enjoying the reception?"
"Yes, I am. Congratulations on your marriage."
"Thank you." George looked at him inquisitively. "I'm sorry if this question is rude, but do I know you?"
Darcy cocked his head. "No, we have never met. I came with someone."
"Oh, I see." His smile faltered slightly under Darcy's gaze.
"William Darcy." He introduced himself after a few moments of awkward silence. Ah-ha, now he sees. Darcy hid a knowing smile as he watched various expressions play over George's face, the main one being dawning recognition. Yes, you smug bastard. "Elisa's boyfriend." He delighted in seeing George's face pale even further.
"It's nice to meet you." George said eventually, recovering well from his surprise. He offered his hand to Darcy.
"I'm sorry I can't say the same." Darcy did not shake his hand. He had seen enough. George Wickham was a reasonable attractive man, he could admit grudgingly, but he didn't see anything worthwhile in George that he himself didn't already have. And in abundance, thank you very much. "What did you say to her?"
"Who?" George asked, stupidly.
"Elisa. I know she was just in here. What did you say to her to upset her?" He stepped closer, a little menacingly.
"Nothing." George faltered. "I was sharing some personal news."
"I would appreciate it if you didn't take my girlfriend aside and privately share 'personal news' in a deserted room on the day of your wedding."
"Are you implying that something inappropriate happened?" He asked, indignantly. "How dare you, sir!"
"How dare I?" Darcy asked, his voice low and threatening. "I've only just met you, and I know I can't trust you as far as I can throw you. I'm warning you to stay away from Elisa."
"You have no right to dictate what I can and cannot do."
Darcy repressed the urge to punch George in the face. "I would appreciate it if you kept your distance and stopped upsetting my girlfriend. Do as I say, or you will live to regret it." He pushed past George, using the same door Elisa had used only moments earlier to exit the room. He entered a dimly lit hallway that curved around the corner and led back to the main ballroom. As he rejoined the throng of reception guests celebrating the nuptials, Darcy's only thought was to get to Elisa, to find and comfort her.
"If you're looking for Elisa, she went up to her room." A woman spoke to him. He looked over and gave a start when he realized it was Lydia. He had not seen her up close that whole day, so being nearly face-to-face to her at that moment was a bit of a surprise. How she knew him he did not know, but he suspected her mother had made him known to her. "You are William Darcy, yes?"
"Yes." He thought that she looked very much like her mother. The same dark hair, the same eyes and smile. Yes, she was pretty enough, but how anyone could compare her to his Elisabeth was a mystery to him.
"Elisa left just a minute ago. She looked distressed. I would have stopped her, if I knew that my concern would be appreciated. But I knew that it would not. If you run up, you can catch her."
"Thank you." He felt compelled to stay a minute. He didn't think he would have many opportunities to speak to her in the future. Darcy's first impression of Lydia Bennet was that she was someone he had not expected her to be.
"Not at all." Lydia said after a moment. Darcy watched with surprise as tears formed in the corners of her eyes. She turned away. "Excuse me."
Odd. He shook his head. I probably should go find Elisa. Darcy made his way through the crowded ballroom to the outer hallway. It was only a few minutes before he reached their room. As he opened the door, Darcy noted the silence and the light breeze. She was out on the balcony, her back ramrod straight, appearing to him like a valiant goddess. She stiffed even further at the light scrape of the sliding doors as Darcy opened them wider so he could squeeze through.
"I want to be alone for a few minutes, if you don't mind." Elisa said, facing toward the dark night.
He stepped to the other side of the balcony, leaving several feet of space between them. He mimicked her posture. "Pretend I'm not even here."
She let out a loud breath of frustration, but did not say anything. They continued in silence for nearly five minutes before Darcy sidled next to her and laid his hand on her arm. She hesitated for a split-second, then turned into him, laying her cheek on his shoulder. The night was fragrant and lovely, surrounding them with lingering warmth of the day. It was perfect, he thought, holding her like this in his arms, even when they were both consumed with troublesome thoughts on different matters.
"I don't want to talk about it." Elisa said at last and pulled away from him. "Not right now."
"Okay." He reached out to link their hands together.
"Can we sleep?" She asked, the weariness now apparent in her voice. "I don't want to think anymore, just rest a while."
Darcy drew her into the room, leading her toward the bed. "Sleep then." He said kindly. She didn't protest when he undressed her, like a parent undressed a child, and slipped one of his t-shirts over her head. It was oversized on her, hanging nearly to her knees, and he didn't think she could look more adorable. Or defeated, he thought. Her face was drawn and she looked like she might break. He quickly changed clothing, hopped into bed, and pulled her down beside him.
"I know what you're thinking, William." Elisa said softly, drawing his attention. "I'm not fragile."
"I didn't say a word."
"I can read it in your face." She tilted her chin up and ran a finger lightly across his brow. "I can see it in your eyes."
"I love you." Darcy gently stroked her hair. "It hurts me to see you unhappy."
"I know it. But sometimes, it's okay for me to be unhappy." She laid a finger on his lips before he could interrupt. "It makes me appreciate all the happy moments I do have, like when I'm with you." She adjusted her position so that they were snuggled together, face to face. "William?"
"Yes, darling."
"I need you to make me a promise."
"Of course." He replied without hesitation.
"There are some things I need to deal with - things that I haven't dealt with in a long time... I've been running for so long, I feel like I lost part of myself, a vital part that I now need to find. I need you to promise to let me do this."
"Elisa..."
"I need to stay here for a few days. To work some things out for myself."
Darcy went silent.
"And I need to do this alone." She added quietly.
After several minutes, he sighed. "I can't say that I truly understand it, Elisa." She didn't speak. "But if this I something you need to do -"
"It is."
" - then I will stand by you no matter what." He kissed her softly, his lips lingering until a quivering, watery feeling flooded his stomach. His breath hitched as she moved closer, pulled in tighter to his embrace. She shifted, lowering her head to rest on top of his chest, her arm reaching across his torso. She could hear the swift thudding of his heart, and it comforted her. "You will come back to me." He said, more than asked.
"Yes, I will come back." She mumbled, as she drifted to sleep.
Darcy, however, was not completely reassured. Continued in the next section
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