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But one day after all my good resolutions of never walking another mile altogether in my entire life I found myself once more walking the road to Netherfield - see what that man does for my good intentions?
Thorn, I am sure, would argue that this was only fair as I had this habit of making a mockery of his. Certainly this was his excuse the previous day for no sooner had he accepted my gracious thanks for explaining about Lily than I found myself being hauled to my feet and a suddenly brisk Thorn hurrying me back with all speed to Netherfield. I, not yet ready to share him with anyone and quite content with our previous occupation, coyly suggested that instead we should walk directly to Longbourn. I was not a little ashamed that my suggestion met with little response. For a good five minutes I was engrossed with my embarrassment for you see I thought that Thorn thought that I was probably fast. I am most annoyed with myself that it took me that long to realise that Thorn would have to be a hypocrite indeed to object to my behaviour now when five minutes before he had been, shall we say... celebrating it? It took me another few moments to realise that my beloved seemed tense - his jaw was set and there was the air of a man of purpose, and not a very pleasant one at that, about him. Not one to mince words I immediately asked him what was wrong. Thorn glanced down at me and said that we could talk of it later. I was not at all persuaded by the supposedly reassuring tone in his voice, or the half smile he had spared me. I turned the problem over in my mind as I was hurried along the road at almost a trot. The solution, when it came to me, seemed far to improbable to be true. I considered it a little more and then thought it best that we talk of it now. I pulled at Thorn's hand.
'Thorn, I am quite out of breath, may we stop a moment?' Thorn looked at my red face and was immediately contrite.
'Of course,' he gave me a distracted smile, 'I am sorry Kitten, I did not mean to make you run. Here - sit on this stile.' I did as I was told and soon regained my wind.
'Well you have the advantage of longer legs and so I dare say that you did not notice our pace.' I gave him a particularly wicked grin. 'Perhaps you should get yourself a wife more of your scale so that you need not consider it in the future?' Thorn did not rise to my bait and so I decided to broach the subject at once.
How did I do this? Well gentle concern had been wasted on him, and if my mark was right then he was being very silly about the whole thing. So I gave Thorn what he deserve - I laughed at him. Nicely, of course.
'What?' Thorn seemed a touch defensive but I had roused him from his reverie and so I was at least on my way to my goal.
'I just think it silly that you are worried about speaking to my father. He will not refuse you, you know.' I received a startled look, hastily hidden.
'Who said that I was worried about speaking to your father?'
I did not deign to reply, but, smirking still, lifted my eyebrows in what I hoped was a superior manner. What a picture I must have made perched on a stile thus! Apparently the humour of the situation did not strike Thorn for he was as grave as a Church minister on a Sunday.
'I am not worried, Kitty, concerned would perhaps be a more appropriate word. I have never approached a father on this subject before and it does not do to take these things for granted.' I think that it was only then that I realised that he actually was genuinely worried of being refused. I cocked my head to one side.
'Will anything I say reassure you?' I received a smile of thanks for taking his concerns seriously.
'I will only relax when I have you signed, sealed and delivered to me.' I am aware that I should have been affronted by such chauvinistic attitude, Lizzy certainly would have been, but I must confess that I found it entirely gratifying. I held out my hand.
'Then shall we go?'
We arrived at Netherfield in what I am sure must be record time. Charles and Jane were both found in the drawing room and we soon had their happy congratulations. Our health was toasted but mindful of Thorn's thoughts I did not linger long, and quickly excused myself to make use of Jane's brush to freshen myself up a bit. When I came back downstairs I found that Thorn had brought his carriage round to the front, and with barely time to receive Jane's happy kiss I found myself bundled inside and on my way. Jane had wanted to come with us but we had all decided that the excitement of Longbourn once the news was out would be too much for her and it was settled that we should all go to Netherfield for dinner the following day so that Jane may feel part of it still. The carriage journey was not at all what I had thought it would be, no whispered talk, no joined hands or stolen kisses. Thorn's mien was fairly forbidding, and I found that this transferred itself to me and that my own concerns magnified and my imagination raced off in improbable directions. It was a result of these that had me whispering to Thorn that it was not too late to withdraw his offer if that was what concerned him. For some unknown reason I blushed as I continued: I assured him that I would not hold him to his promise. As I had started speaking Thorn had moved his gaze from the window to myself. He did not rush to reassure me, and my heart positively sunk at his enigmatic look. I could have happily strangled the man when I was gravely told that that was very generous of me but that he really could not return the favour. He would hold me to my promise, come hell or high water. Apparently he was merely quiet because he was planning how long it would take a fast carriage to get from Netherfield to Gretna and wondering how high up my window was for things such as sheet ropes.
Naturally I did not strangle him, but my show of uncertainty had some rewards - it encouraged Thorn to reassure me in a most satisfying way of his amorous intentions. The journey to Longbourn was far too short and so, as I superiorly pointed out, we should have walked.
When we arrived at Longbourn Thorn immediately repaired to Papa's study. I could not stand the wait and excused myself from Mama on the pretext of changing my dress into something more presentable. In truth I did not think that I would be able to stand listening to everyone's congratulations just yet. I needed a moment to myself to appreciate my good fortune.
I was not given long for Mama soon sought me out. I knew the moment that I saw her that Thorn's concerns had been unfounded. I will not repeat verbatim what she said but needless to say that I was heralded as he favourite daughter. She was glad that I had changed my dress for that old one had suited me very ill. Did I know Thorn's favourite meal? Such a shame that I was engaged to go to the Lucas's tomorrow to help with Maria's wedding details (my heart quite sunk at this for I must confess that I had forgotten). Thrown into this was: Kitty, I am so proud of you. Your Father wishes to see you then you must join us all. Did I not know how it would be! A countess! An earl! Oh my Kitty, you have quite put me in a flutter. I arranged it all, sending you up to Netherfield like that today, am I not a clever Mama? Oh, Kitty! An earl!
And so it went on. I soon excused myself to speak to Papa. I found him sitting at his desk with the door open listening to Mama's ecstasies. I was bid to close the door and take my seat. Papa considered me for a moment and then smiled.
'So this is your choice, Kitty? I could not help but beam at him.
'Yes Papa.' Thorn's nervousness must have affected me more than I had known for I had to ask 'did you give your consent, Papa?' Papa looked suitably surprised.
'Of course!' His slow smile started, 'He seemed quite insistent on the point.' I giggled at this. 'The settlement that he made on you was most generous.' I knew nothing of such things but blushed anyway. I received a penetrating look, before Papa asked a question which showed that he could be silly and need reassurance as well.
'You are happy Catherine?' I left my chair to crouch down in front of him.
'Oh yes Papa, I am so very very happy.'
'He seems like a good man.' Papa smiled.
'He is.'
'Well you seem to have developed some sense, Kitty. I am very proud of you. You are a good girl, Kitty. Run along and see your gentleman, I will be through in a minute.' He leaned forward and kissed my forehead in benediction and I thought that my heart would burst with happiness.
I know that it should have been the happiest evening in my life but I must say that for the most part I found the evening that followed intolerable. Thorn and I were together, for the most part we were within touching distance, but we were surrounded by my nearest and dearest and as such were forced to endure the normal farce that reigns in the Bennet household and today I did not find it at all amusing. The crowing moment of this was Mama nearly having a fainting fit when Thorn casually let out his worth. I was momentarily panicked by it, but this was forgotten quickly by his warm smile. But I was suffocated in properness, and I am sure that Thorn felt it too.
The next day I did my duty and left for Maria's. Mama, Papa and Mary were due to stop by Lucas Lodge on their way to Netherfield but we finished early and with Lady Lucas's consent I set off for Netherfield on my own. I calculated that I would have perhaps two hours with Thorn to myself, surely Charles and Jane would have the good sense to make themselves scarce?
I used my time to figure out what subjects Thorn and I had yet to talk about. The more I considered it the more I realised that there were many, many things. Well, talk we would. Today I would not be quite so easily distracted. One thought loomed the largest in my mind: Georgiana
I turned the corner of the drive at Netherfield and saw at once that there were several more carriages than their should have been - carriages that I had thought were safely ensconced in London. One thing was plain: Lizzy and William had arrived. I entered the house through the side door and found that the house was in uproar, everyone going everywhere with an air of purposefulness that is so attractive and yet fatiguing to even watch.
I stopped a maid and soon discovered that Mrs. Bingley and Mrs. Darcy were upstairs with Miss Darcy. Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy were out at the stables inspecting a horse, or whatever it is that men do in such places. Colonel Fitzwilliam (I do not know why I was surprised by his presence - no show without punch after all) was attending to some business in his room. I say that he was hiding, the reason was obvious when I was told that Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst were lying down before dinner and Lord Thornfield was hiding (sorry, the maid said reading) in the library. I thanked the maid and told her that there was no need for her to tell anyone of my arrival. She curtsied and wished me happy. I blushed, thanked her and made my way to the library.
There I found that Thorn was very determinedly reading his book. I do not know who he thought I was at first, I have my suspicions of course but a lady shouldn't voice thoughts such as those about one's sisters-in-law.
I crept up behind him, ready to pounce on him, but was humbugged by Thorn, who without looking at me, grabbed me by the waist and brought me tumbling into his lap.
'Hallo, my Kitten.' He looked well pleased with his work. I set about regaining my dignity.
'Your Kitten?' I questioned archly.
'Safely mine, Kitty. The announcement was in this morning's paper.' Well that explained the smug look. Thorn was obviously a man I would have to watch.
'That was quick.'
'No, it was not nearly soon enough.' I was not rising to his bait. Concerned with the practicalities, I frowned down at him.
'But how did you manage it?'
'I sent a messenger down when we arrived back at Netherfield yesterday.'
'But you didn't know that you had been accepted.' I protested, had all of that concern been for show?
'I could not bear the thought that I should be refused and I thought that at the very worst that if I had already sent the message that this might bear some weight with your father if he chanced to refuse.'
Ah, a most suitable reply. I was content then just to stay as I was but my silence must have worried him for a moment later he asked:
'Second thoughts, Kitty?' I smiled and clasped him close.
'Not at all, but I perceive that I shall have trouble with you, sir.' I teased.
'I am your humble servant Milady, happy only to be near you. I will obey your every command and shall be content only to be ground under your heel.'
'Oh Thorn, you lie so poetically.' I sighed.
And then we said hello properly. That took quite some time, and Thorn's book fell to the floor with quite a thump. For once it was I who put an end to it. My thoughts were crowding in on me and demanded a voice.
'Thorn we have to talk.' I ran a finger down his cheek. Thorn accepted this without comment.
'What about this time Kitty?'
I sighed and decided that my biggest fears were best faced head on.
'Georgiana, darling, we need to talk about Georgiana.'
I am eternally grateful that I had the good sense to fall in love with a man who takes my concerns seriously. I am sure that other men placed in such a tempting position of being alone with their intended with no expectation of interruption, and please remember that Netherfield had just been invaded by family enough to keep us apart until the wedding, would be so prompt at acceding to concerns about a friend's younger sister. I suppose that it is one of the many reasons that I love him. But I digress. Anyway, Thorn noted the worry in my voice and became suitably grave. His words though made little or no sense.
'Would you like to talk first, Kitty, so that you can work this bee out of your bonnet or can I just tell you now that your concerns are unfounded?'
I misunderstood and I pulled back, stung. I thought that Thorn was brushing aside my worries and I was hurt. But then I looked at him and recognised the serious look in his eyes and my anger cooled as I realised that my Thorn would not be so free with my feelings. Trust is something that grows slowly however, and it was with a touch of caution that I asked:
'And what do you mean by that?' His eyes did not flinch from mine, although I was very interested to note that he did start to look a bit hot under the collar.
'I do not know what Georgiana told you exactly,' was that a reddish tint to Thorn's ears? Surely not! But yes, yes, all of a sudden he was uneasy at meeting my gaze. There could only be one possible explanation: Thorn was embarrassed. What an amazing thing! My thoughts on this were rudely interrupted as his words reached home. 'I do not know what Georgiana told you, but I do know that she lied.' No it could not be, life could not be so simple. Fate could not be so kind. I would not, could not accept it.
'No.' Of all the things I have ever been accused, not being direct has never been one of them.
'Kitty I am telling you the truth.' I was having none of it.
'No Thorn, it doesn't fit, do you not see? Why on earth would Georgie lie to me about this? She is so shy that the very mention of love for any man other than William sends her blushes. I wish with all my heart that what you say could be true, but it cannot. It just,' I shrugged hopelessly, 'it can't.' My rush of words exhausted I collapsed against Thorn's chest and embraced him as if I expected him to jump up and leave me. It did my heart some good that I was just as energetically hugged back. Thorn gave me a moment to compose myself before he spoke.
'Have you finished now?'
I sniffed at his asperity. Then a thought occurred to me and I pulled back so as to see this face.
'Perhaps we talk at cross purposes, what do you think Georgie told me?' I thought that I was being very clever, but Thorn did not seem to appreciate it.
'Kitty!' This was said in a low growl at the back of his throat and I watched with fascination as my darling blushed. How very quaint. I laughed with delight and laid my hand along his cheek, smiling at him as a sudden wave of tenderness swept me.
'Oh my Thorn!' I sighed. Why is it that I had to be born with a conscience? My life would be so much easier if I were able to totally discount the happiness of others in search of my own (note if you will that I can endure the unhappiness of all of those hussies in Town with equanimity, but Georgie?) Anyway, a conscience I have and I considered that Thorn had the right to know, the right to choose and perhaps we had been talking at odds after all. I pulled back once more and said the truth as plainly as I knew how 'Thorn, Georgie told me that she loved you, that she always had.'
'Kitten...' I do not know if it was my words or my sad smile that touched him, but I could not let him speak yet.
'No,' I laid my finger over his mouth, my eyes teasing his, 'I am not finished yet and you should know that it is most rude to interrupt a lady.' my humour was a poor defense, but I had been left with no other and in the end even it deserted me. 'She told me that she loved you after you had left for the country and I...I could not bear it. It seemed that you could never care for me as I do for you, she is so genteel in every way and I, I am such a wealth of inadequacies, of mistakes. No Thorn I will speak. I decided that I was not good enough for you and that when you came back to London I would help you to see how wonderful Georgie is.' I looked accusingly at him then, 'I would have done it too, if only you hadn't kissed me in the carriage.' I sighed. 'That changed everything, and I didn't know how I would be able to face her. Things were strained enough between us, do you know that after she came into my room to tell me she hardly spoke a half a dozen words together to me.' As could be expected, I strayed from the subject somewhat, it was inevitable I suppose. 'Now that I didn't understand for she had sought me out. She must have been embarrassed; I am certain that she was not aware of my feelings.'
'Kitty, will you...'
'No!' This time I used my whole hand to muffle him. I continued to talk but was most distracted by the small kisses that he placed on my palm. 'I could not face Georgie knowing what I had done. It was a small part, a very small part as to why I ran home. And now, if you give me leave, I have to go up stairs and tell her that you and I are going to be wed. I had not wanted her to find out through a letter, I had wanted to be the one to tell her but what is done is done and I will face her now. If you tell me that your intentions are unchanged by this news then I swear that I will not doubt or question you anymore, I shall count my blessings and be thankful but I thought that you should know about Georgie. So that well,' here I stumbled over my words and found the pattern on Jane's carpet very interesting, 'you have all of the options...' I stumbled to a halt and let my hand fall. At that moment I could not have looked him in the eye for all the tea in China.
'Are you finished now?' He asked again.
Thorn's tone held a kindness and a quietness that I feared more than anything else. I nodded. A small part of my mind noted that it truly was a hideous carpet, but then I suppose that Jane and Charles would hardly get much use out of the library.
'Quite sure?'
Puzzled by this persistence it brought my eyes to his, but I nodded again, not a little fearfully. Why was he dragging this out?
'Then permit me to tell you that you are quite the most wonderful woman that I have ever met. I cannot imagine sharing my life with anyone else, indeed the thought sickens me. Put all thoughts to the contrary out of your head now and trust me.' I was given a small shake as emphasis. In my relief I must admit that I started to weep quietly. Thorn wiped my cheeks but they would not stop and so he held me close until I was quiet again.
'Now for Georgiana and Richard, they...' This had my attention!
'Richard! He has nothing to do with this!' Thorn was a model of patient understanding in the face of sheer stupidity.
'Kitten, he has everything to do with it. This' and he gestured at us 'was his pet plan.'
'Plan?' I think that the crying had made me slow on the uptake.
'Even you were not blind to his matchmaking scheme in London.' This was said with some asperity. I am not as blind as all of that!
'How could anyone be? It was most embarrassing.'
'I wasn't embarrassed in the slightest but it was damn infuriating.' I sniffed at his language.
'It made me very uncomfortable, there was time when I was uneasy to be in a room with you for fear of what Richard would say.'
'I know' Thorn's tone was grim and I was glad that I was not Richard. 'At a time when I was trying to get you to trust me he had to go and upset my campaign with meddling.'
'Campaign?' I perked up. What was this?
'I had words with him.' I was successfully diverted.
'I guessed as much' I crowed triumphantly. 'What did you say, I was dying of curiosity I assure you!'
Thorn laughed at my eagerness. 'Not at all what you thought, I am sure, and you would have been most upset had you found out.'
'Oh?' I smiled and played with the buttons on his coat.
'I told him that I loved you and that I would get you in my own way in my own time without any assistance from him. I then proceeded to tell him that if he persisted then I would have my revenge and play matchmaker to him!' When the mood struck him there could be a rather devilish look about my beloved that I decidedly liked the look of. My smile was already out, but still I asked.
'And did you have anyone special in mind as the poor lady?' Thorn's grin was one of pure pride as his idea.
'Caroline Bingley.' I clapped a hand over my mouth to hold in the whoops of laughter as I collapsed into a puddle of mirth on Thorn's lap.
'Capital, oh Thorn.' I pushed my hand to my abdomen to try to control my breathing, 'oh my Thorn, that was genius.'
'I certainly thought so.' He grinned at me and my heart flipped over but then I recollected myself and sobered with speed.
'But Thorn that was ages before Georgie told me that she loved me, I am not doubting you, but I am just...'
'I know Kitty,' he pulled me close and kissed my temple. I clung to his coat.
'I don't want to lose her friendship and I certainly don't want to hurt her, and oh Thorn I am about to do both.' I could not keep the anguish out of my voice or my eyes.
'You won't be doing either Kitten. Have you not been listening, it was all Richard's matchmaking plan.'
'But that was before...'
'No that was his Plan A. Getting you jealous enough to make you realise that you loved me was Plan B and as I would know nothing about it then how could Richard possibly get into trouble? Truly, Kitten.' There were too many questions at the one time, but I supposed that it was vaguely possible...
'But how do you know?'
'Darcy.' A man of few words. Certainly it did nothing to help my understanding.
'William? But how, what... Thorn I don't understand!' I wailed.
'Very well Kitty, if you insist then we will go over this, but I really do think that there are more profitable ways we could be spending this time.' It was very tempting, but now was not the time for that; I tilted my head up and beseeched him to explain. Thorn sighed and then launched into a brief account of what had occurred. 'In short - you left London at top speed. I got very drunk and spent a couple of days trying to poison what little brain you have left me.' I raised my eyebrows at this.
'Charming.' Thorn ignored me.
'Then there was Lady Chasterleigh's ball and I spoke to Lily. For some reason that managed to get me to come to my senses. I went back to my townhouse, locked myself in and plotted.'
'Plotted?' How Machiavellian.
'How to get you to become mine.' Was there ever such a charming man? It is no wonder that I have lost my wits.
'And how did you get on?' Thorn shrugged.
'With variable success, but then various interferences came.'
'Such as?'
'First there was Calder's note in the newspaper. It had me worried as it seemed to as good as declare that I was going to make an offer for you and I was not yet ready to reveal my hand. I tried to control my panic by telling myself that you didn't read the paper. Then I remembered that Calder had told you of his occupation and you would probably read it out of loyalty to him.' I was entranced by all of this.
'So what did you do?'
'I set off for Darcy's. When I left I wasn't quite sure how I was subtly going to get Elizabeth to tell me whether or not your father subscribed to Calder's paper.'
'If it helps then he does and the article quite depressed me.' This surprised Thorn.
'Depressed?'
'Oh yes, you see I thought that it meant that you were shortly going to offer for Lily.'
'Lily!' The look of horror on his face was most encouraging.
'So I was a bit upset you see.' I explained.
'Oh, my poor Kitten,' a look of wonder crossed his face, 'and is that why you agreed to go to Spain with your friend? Because you thought that I was going to marry Lily?'
'Yes...how did you know?' Truly it was one bewildering statement after another.
'About Spain? Your father wrote Lizzy a letter '
'Papa?' I gasped.
'He said that you were going to Spain to keep your friend Maria company after her marriage. Apparently it was all arranged' The thought did not appear to cheer him. I suppose that I must still have been slightly insecure in my love for it heartened me no end. But I had business to attend to first: namely interfering parents.
'I will kill him' my tone was direful.
'Very filial.'
'That isn't the point.'
'It wasn't true?' Thorn seemed really very interested in my proposed trip.
'Oh no, it was.' I assured him.
'You're not going.' I swooned at his masterful tone.
'No dear.' I was all dutiful submission. Lizzy had taught me in London the merits of picking your battles and that I now had no intention of going to Spain was neither here nor there. Thorn seemed somewhat appeased.
'You nearly made my heart stop, do you know that? All I could think about was your predilection for redcoats.'
'My poor Thorn.' I mourned, I think he could see that I was laughing at him, but Thorn mustered on.
'I think the look on my face when I heard this was the last straw for Darce. He pulled me into his study and baldly told me that I was an idiot. I asked why but he said that he couldn't tell me. He said this in such a way as to make it clear that the very fact that he couldn't tell me was significant.'
'Ah!'
'Ah?'
'That would be my doing then.'
'Oh?' Thorn looked less than impressed. Well it wasn't my fault! How was I to know his feelings? It wasn't as if I had done it deliberately to make him suffer! Still, I was suitably apologetic.
'I told William how I felt about you and that I couldn't stay in London feeling the way I did. William tried to make me stay, but I really felt that I needed to come home and feel safe. Eventually William agreed but I made him promise that he wouldn't say anything to you about it. I didn't want him matchmaking you see.' Thorn did not seem best pleased with this.
'Well you had your wish. Although just after you left that really wasn't an issue.' I could tell that Thorn was still a bit miffed and I cuddled in closer.
'Oh?'
'I was a bit upset at Darcy.'
'Why?'
'I thought that he had sent you back to Longbourn in disgrace because of what you were up to that night. If you remember you had very successfully kept me from knowing your real purpose. That coupled with your immediate departure led me to the worst conclusions.'
'But still you plotted to get me?' Considering what he had thought of me I was amazed.
'Of course! You are mine. Anyway, Darcy and I had a few discussions about you, when he didn't give me the answers I wanted I drowned my sorrows. And then as revenge, or so I thought, after your father's note he raised my hopes and wouldn't answer me when I questioned him. Darce can be very closed mouth when he wants to be. We started to argue again and eventually he called Richard and Georgiana into the room and told them that they owed me an apology. Richard had the gall to ask what for, to which Darce just raised his eyebrows. Georgiana went red and started trembling, Richard blustered a bit and then told me all.'
'You don't look very pleased about it.' I touched his face with a finger, tracing the furrow between his eyes.
'I wasn't, I had had enough of his interfering, and to drag Georgiana into it!' Thorn fumed while I thought.
'It really is very lowering.' I said reflectively after a moment.
'What is?' Another thing I love about Thorn is that he is willing to put his own thoughts aside to ask about mine. I gave him my best smile.
'To admit that his plan actually worked.'
'It did?' Thorn was astonished as I had expected him to be. I nodded ruefully.
'Oh yes, I realised that I loved you about two seconds after Georgie told me. I think that I had loved you for much longer than that, and it really was just a matter of time before I discovered it for myself, but Georgie certainly helped me along.' This demanded some reward and I received it in full measure. There was still much to discuss though so we did not take all day about it. When we finished Thorn had me laughing again as he whispered in my ear.
'I don't think we should tell Richard'
'Neither do I, he would become insufferable.' Thorn let me pull away to arrange my hair once again. I was grateful that we were in the country and I was allowed a simple style, to court in Town would be a nightmare.
'Then we are agreed?'
'Yes.'
'Shall we seal it with a kiss?' A man of purpose.
'I thought we had already done that?' I was not reluctant, but my hair...
'Ah Kitty, it never hurts to be sure.'
I think that in future I will just wear my hair loose when Thorn is around. Lord knows it would be simpler than all this fussing.
In time I was reminded of our conversation and a thought struck me.
'But Thorn, was Georgie upset?'
'She was fine, she has matured this last year. She took Darcy's reprimand on the chin and told him that she thought she was doing what would make you happy. If it makes you feel any better, she was miserable that she had obviously made you miserable.'
'Poor Georgie.' My mournful voice was spoilt by a giggle.
'What?' Thorn smiled at me, ready to join in on my joke.
'Now when I see her next I won't know whether to hug her or be upset at her. But you are sure, you are absolutely positive Thorn?' Silly I know, but I needed that last reassurance.
'Georgie feels for me what a sister would, and I what a brother might.' I searched his eyes and sighed and smiled with relief at what I found there.
'Oh Thorn, I am so happy!' I lay back in his arms and just laughed.
'Good.' Thorn's eyes caressed my face and my laughter stopped as we shared a lover's look followed by a lover's kiss. I was not finished yet, though, and so reluctantly pulled us apart.
'No Thorn, there is more that we must talk about.' Thorn groaned and buried his lips in my hair.
'Can't it wait?'
'No. You see Georgie wasn't the only reason that I was miserable, and I haven't yet told you about why I was in the seedier side of London that night.' I had his attention now.
'Kitty...'
'No, Thorn, you should know this, you should know the sort of family that you are marrying into, you see my sister Lydia...' This time it was Thorn's hand that closed my lips.
'Kitty, Kitty I know. I know about Lydia.'
'You do?' My words came out muffled against his hand.
'Yes, Kitty. I helped when Georgie was involved with Wickham at Ramsgate. Afterwards I was one of the few people that she felt that she could talk to about it. When Wickham started creating problems again Darcy called Richard and I in to help.' Why must men be so inconsistent?
'But I thought you weren't talking?' Muffled though my voice was, somehow Thorn understood me.
'Kitty, friendship goes beyond differences like that. When Darcy asked me to help there was never any way that I was going to refuse him.' He smiled. 'Besides, I was planning on becoming his brother in law and so it would be damned inconvenient if we hated each other.' I was not distracted.
'Thorn what did you do?' I didn't' really want to know, but I felt that I had to. It was my doing after all. Thorn looked grave again.
'I think that Darcy should be the one to tell you, it is not my story to tell.'
'Thorn, please she is still my sister.' Thorn gave way to my begging, although I could see that he was unhappy about it.
'She and Wickham took a boat to Australia.'
'Did you hurt him?' I do not know why I asked that. I don't know what answer I wanted - he had done so much damage...
'No.' I could tell that Thorn was saying the truth.
I sighed because I was glad, oh so glad that they were gone.
'Lydia has the name of a man that she can contact if she ever wants to come back to Britain. Wickham won't join her. We have seen that she is provided for.'
'Thank you.' Thorn saw to the heart of my sadness.
'She is your sister Kitty. You are not responsible for her actions.' I shrugged and looked away. The wallpaper was really no better than the carpet.
'It feels like I am.'
'You are not at all like her, you know.' Another of my worries.
'You met her?' I turned and looked at him then. I wanted to ask how she had looked, if she had asked after me, but I did not.
'Once, just as we put her on the boat. Darcy mostly saw them, I organized things.' I nodded and looked away again.
'Poor Lydia.'
'Kitty...' I rounded on him then. How dare he be so compassionate? I turned and spilled out all of my bitterness all of my anger and all of my self-reproach. I poured it out before him
'No Thorn, I knew! When she eloped I knew before hand that she was gong to do it and I didn't tell anyone, not Mama, not Papa, not even Jane! I could have stopped it!' Thorn clasped by hands and spoke urgently to me.
'You were young Kitty, and you made a mistake. If the same were to happen now, would you act the same?'
'No, but...' Thorn was stern.
'No buts. You have changed and grown. That is the best that any of us can hope for. You didn't make Lydia go with Wickham and I am sure that you genuinely believed that they would wed.' I nodded, my naiveté still seemed like crime in my eyes.' Kitty, you have to forgive yourself this.'
'How can you want to marry such a person?' I asked. Thorn smiled and tucked a curl of hair behind my ear. His eyes caressed my face.
'Ah Kitten, you make my heart sing.' In spite of myself I smiled, but his words reminded me of something else.
'That is another one of my worries.' I thought that while we were having this conversation it might as well all be said.
'What is?'
'That one day the light in your eye will dim and we will turn out like Mama and Papa. That I will stay silly, or even get worse, and you will realise what a mistake you have made, that you will realise that you have married not only your social inferior but also one inferior to you in every faculty.' Thorn smiled and tried to tease my worries away.
'How can the Belle of the Season be my inferior?' I was not at all placated.
'Thorn, do not...' Abruptly he became serious once more and answered my worries head on.
'I cannot give you guarantees of the future Kitty, but as we are talking about fears Kitten, shall I tell you of my fears? Shall I tell you of how I fear that this wonderful, spirited woman who by some good grace has fallen in love with me will dance happily out of my life? How I fear that I will never be able to convince you of my feelings and that you will never feel safe with me? Shall I tell you of how I watched you with your other suitors and feared them for I could see traits in them that were so much better than traits in me.'
'Thorn!'
'No Kitty, I am not perfect.' That was highly debatable in my view. But Thorn is in many ways a modest man and I could not answer him thus.
'But it is your faults that I love!' Thorn neatly turned my words against me.
'And that is how I feel about you! I cannot promise you about the future, Kitty, but I trust that it will turn out well, it is only your own insecurities that make you doubt it and I will do my utmost to see that you feel safe with me.'
'Thorn.' I touched his face with a hand. 'What suitors anyway?' A frown wrinkled my forehead.
Thorn gave an explosive laugh.
'Where to start?' I protested at this!
'I did not have so many!'
'There was that abominable puppy.' I smiled at his teasing, although Thorn did frown as he thought of it.
'Ah, now you cannot say that you were jealous of Gussie!' Thorn lifted his eyebrows.
'Well he had youth on his side and he wrote you poetry which you kept.' I giggled as I remembered Gussie's odes and Richard's guesses of them which were almost as bad.
'Oh Thorn it was awful, I did not share it for I did not think it fair that you should laugh at him for it.'
'According to my spies one almost made you cry.' It took me a moment to realise of what he was talking. Then I remembered - it was the day that I went out to meet Lydia.
'I was thinking of Lydia and what I had to do that night.'
'Ah yes, when I thought that you were eloping with him.' Thorn's tone told me that I was on very thin ice. I decided that I would try to brave it out and snorted my disgust.
'Foolishness.'
'It certainly would have been,' Thorn was courtesy itself, 'but it was a very black moment for me. You weren't exactly nice to me.' I tried to explain.
'Well I thought I had to hurt you to drive you away to make you happy.'
'Why?'
'Because I couldn't tell you about Lydia and the only way to make you stop questioning me was to hurt you.'
'Why?' I wished that he would stop saying that wretched word!
'Why what?'
'Why could you not tell me about Lydia?'
'Because she and Wickham were blackmailing Georgie if you knew the reason...' Thorn finally seemed to understand.
'Ah, and you thought Georgie cared for me...' I nodded, glad to have it all sorted out.
'I was matchmaking then.' I told him wisely. Thorn snorted in disgust.
'And very ill you did too. I would recommend that you retire from that business.' I sniffed at this insult and deftly turned the subject.
'I still say that Gussie doesn't count as a suitor.' Thorn smiled.
'He will be devastated to hear you say so Kitty.' Thorn need not look quite so happy about it!
'Oh, he did not really mean it!' Thorn looked quizzically at me.
'He was serious enough.'
'Not the point, dear boy. If I had agreed to marry him he would have fallen into a faint You had best do better.'
'Well, now and then I was jealous of Richard.'
'Richard!' I am sure that I almost fell of his lap! Never had I heard of such a thing.
'A man in love is not rational and you have a very close friendship with him.'
'Richard!' I spluttered.
'But even I could see that you thought of him as a brother and so I did not worry much in that direction.' Richard was dismissed to his proper place with a shrug. 'Of course there was always Brummell.'
'No!' I gasped for I had never considered such at thing. By now I was certain that Thorn was taking flights of fancy. Although his attitude was serious enough to give me pause for thought.
'Kitty, if you had had any serious dowry then Beau would have married you. Never have I seen him so fascinated by a woman in my life. He even danced with you! Thank goodness he is too practical to allow his heart to rule his purse, and I thank my lucky stars that your father did not provide better for his daughters.' It was obvious that Thorn meant what he said. My goodness! Brummell! Things like that could go to a girl's head!
I laughed at his last sentiment. 'I never thought I would hear a man say such a thing! But despite what you say I am sure that Mr. Brummell never considered anything for a moment.'
'Perhaps, but Calder is an entirely different kettle of fish.' And any lightheartedness fell away from Thorn in an instant. Herein lay the rub.
'Yes.' I sobered too. I had felt the sting of jealousy too well to not want to reassure Thorn on this. The problem was that I was not sure how.
'He is just a friend Thorn, I swear it.'
'I believe you.' But still, at the back of his eyes...
'He, Mr. Calder, admitted that he, that he... well that he cared more for me than I for him but he recognised this and he knew also that I loved you.'
I outlined my last meeting with him, repeating our words verbatim where possible. I held nothing back in the hope that this would reassure Thorn.
'You told him you loved me?' Thorn asked quickly. I shook my head, unsure if that was the answer that he wanted.
'No, I did not need to, he knew already. I value his friendship, Thorn, and I am sure that in a few months he will have forgotten any feelings he had for me for we would not have suited. He is an honourable man and besides I am besotted with you, I...' Thorn saw where I was going at once.
'I am glad to hear it Kitty. And of course you can still be friends with him. I know that not only he, but you also would never do anything untoward. I trust you and although it may take me a while to like it, I am glad that you have your own friends in London.'
'Thank you.'
And with that all of my pressing worries were answered, and I hope some of Thorn's, and so I lent in to give him his reward. Sadly it was not to be and our own private oasis was spoilt as at that moment Caroline Bingley swept into the room in a cloud of tangerine. It was most inopportune timing. Thorn and I looked around to see who disturbed us thus and she was fully five paces in the room before she noticed our presence and our most improper position. Unfortunately it appears that Caroline gobbles when shocked.
'My goodness!' Puce is most unbecoming with orange. I had never before had the opportunity to notice it at close quarters before. Thorn was no help at all, I could feel the wretched man shaking with laughter. It was obvious that I would have to salvage the situation. I smiled as best I could.
'Good afternoon, Miss Bingley.' I was exquisitely polite.
She gobbled a bit more and gestured to my seating arrangement, who it must be said was almost choking by now.
'Oh, that? I slipped.'
It was too much for dear Caroline, she was so shocked that she could not even reprimand me and she left the room black affronted. It was too much for Thorn and he contained himself only until the door was closed until his mirth broke free. It was also too much for me and it was but moments before I joined Thorn in laughter.
Eventually, what with one thing or another, I caught my breath.
'I should go and see Lizzy and Georgie.'
'If you must.' Thorn's actions were decidedly at odds with his words. One does not leave by being pulled closer and by being thoroughly kissed! I was catching my breath when lightening struck. I pulled back and gave a devilish grin.
'Thorn...'
'Mmm?' He was still more interested in my lips than my words.
'Thorn, I have just had a particularly evil thought.'
'Oh?' He relaxed back in the chair. The Lord and Master of all he surveyed. I twiddled my thumb in the edge of his coat.
'Well, Richard did continue to matchmaker...' I had his interest now.
'That is true Kitten, very true...' Thorn thought for a moment, I waited in expectancy. 'I believe that Richard is about. I think perhaps I will ask him to join me for a play of the piano before dinner, there is a piece that as your adoring suitor I really should perform for you this evening.' I gasped, and raised a theatrical hand to my mouth.
'But Thorn, you know that Caroline Bingley always practices then!'
'So she does.' I giggled as he waggled his eyebrows in a delicious fashion. 'Go Kitty, talk to your sister. I will put our cunning plan into action.'
'The first of many, I hope.' A very strange look came over Thorn's face then.
'Kitty leave now, or else we will spend much longer in this room and scandalize a great many more people for I truly cannot resist that mischievous look on your face!'
Now how could a girl resist an offer like that?
At length I made my escape from Thorn's clutches. Humming happily I paused at the top of the stairs and considered where I might most likely find my sisters. Well hovering there was going to get me nowhere and so I quickly decided to make my way to Jane's bed chamber as I knew that it was around this time that she took her lie down in the afternoon. This necessitated me passing the room normally given to Mrs. Hurst and as I passed her closed door I heard noises coming from within that I can only describe as 'wild exclamations'. As luck would have it there was nobody about but I still blame Thorn for filling me with mischievous thoughts - it is all his fault. Were it not for Lord Thornfield I am sure that I would not have tarried to listen at the door. As it happened pressing my ear to the wood was unnecessary for the words of Dear Caroline came through loud and clear 'I was never so shocked in all my life, Louisa!' A consoling murmur from that lady in reply. 'I mean we all knew that she had entrapped him with her wiles as her sister did to Mr. Darcy, but I never imagined that she should be so brazen about it! The smirk on her face, Louisa!' By this time not only had I had got the gist but had had it reaffirmed that eavesdroppers never heard good about themselves and quietly moved away from the door. I considered it fortunate that my happiness did not rest on the good wishes of those ladies. Any guilt that I may have felt about Thorn's trick hurting Miss Bingley's feelings was done away with: I did hope that the shock that my dear Miss Bingley had sustained would not keep her from her piano practice. Smiling once again at the thought of what Thorn had in store for our dear friends I continued on my merry way.
I had no plan in mind for what I would say in way of greeting or explanation to Georgie, or to Lizzy for that matter, for such imagined conversations are always most satisfactory in theory and then horrid to put into practice, people never act as they ought. In this case I was not concerned: I trusted my instincts and with all of the confidence of youth and love I was sure that at that moment I had the gift of Midas and that finally nothing I touched could possibly go wrong. I was even more sure of this when I found that I had guessed correctly and on entering Jane's chamber I was presented with the charming picture of one pregnant sister lying abed and another pregnant sister sitting beside her. Georgie was at the window and turned anxious eyes towards me as I closed the door. It was she that I addressed first.
'You wretch!' I exclaimed affectionately, approaching to embrace her.
'Oh Kitty!' I was very proud of Georgie for managing to say that much before bursting into tears. Over her head I saw Lizzy's look of approval and I smiled in return to try to convey some measure of my own happiness. I let Georgie cry herself out well aware that when one was in a fit of weeping they become quite deaf. It was only when she progressed to sniffs that I drew back a bit and spoke.
'You really are a bit of a goose, did you know that Georgiana Darcy?' My tone and look tempered my words and Georgie appeared to pick up a bit.
'I thought that you would hate me.' Georgie dabbed at her eyes with her handkerchief. Holding her gaze, for once I replied in all seriousness.
'I cannot think of anything that you could do that would make me hate you.' Georgie smiled and embraced me again.
'Oh Kitty I was so unhappy.'
'So was I darling, but it is over now. Oh Georgie I never dreamt that in all the world there was such happiness!' We pulled back again. Now both of our eyes were swimming with tears, we were as hopeless as each other! Georgie clasped my hands.
'I am so glad.'
'And I am glad that you two are friends again.' Lizzy interrupted our tender moment but I was glad of that, after all today was supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life, I did not want to spend it all in tears! For someone who had always prided herself on her stiff upper lip I was turning into a proper milksop!
'Oh Lizzy!' I ran towards her and embraced her tightly.
'I know Kitty, you are so happy!' Lizzy's tone was gently mocking but I refused to rise to it and just laughed up at her.
'Yes I am. So tease me if you dare! Darling Jane.' I bent to kiss her cheek. Jane was caught up in the moment and looked on the edge of tears as well. Poor Lizzy, surrounded by three such idiots!
'None deserve happiness more than you, Kitty, I wish you and Lord Thornfield every joy for the future.'
I naturally protested that none deserved it more than Jane herself but we soon fell into a happy discussion of clothes, courting and men in general. I received quite a bit of sound advice in that half an hour that we were closeted together, advice that I was sure would stand me in good stead, but there were other people that I wanted to see and speak to before the family descended and so I soon made my excuses. I found William in Charles' study looking over some papers. The door was open but I knocked on it to gain his attention. At the sound William looked up and a glad smile came to his face. He rose and, as if we had always been friends, I found myself in his arms receiving a kiss on the cheek.
'Congratulations Kitty.' Strange how you can tell when somebody sincerely means it, isn't it? I mean they are the same words but somehow William managed to say far more than just 'congratulations', or perhaps I am being fanciful again.
'Thank you William.' And I did not mean for his nice words, but William understood without me having to make a big garbled speech.
'You are welcome.'
I took the seat at the side of the desk and gave a light laugh. 'When I arrived at Pemberley I had little thought that it would end like this.' William nodded.
'No, one never does. It is one of those things that creeps up gradually and overtakes one before we have a chance to realise that we are in danger.'
We shared a sympathetic look. How good a friend he was! Here was a man who understood. A thought struck me.
'We are very alike, aren't we? I mean in both of our cases we were the ones who had to...'
'Grow up?' William's tone was not short on irony and for a moment I was worried that I had offended him. I need not have been concerned. 'I had not thought of it, but you are right. Of course my faults of character were more grave than yours, Kitty.' I better that William? No doubt he would have it that my faults were the faults of youth and that I would have grown out of them anyway, but I knew better. I would not allow it and put on my best hoity-toity manner.
'Now that I will not hear of! I am sure that we can sit here all day and argue about it but I am the lady so as a gentleman good manners dictate that you must concede the point to me.' William raised his eyebrows.
'Thorn is going to be kept quite busy, isn't he?' My only reply to this was a look so innocent that it belonged in a nunnery. William laughed and leaned forward to grasp my hand.
'Kitty I have never seen Thorn so happy as I have since he has known you. The transformation is amazing and although I sincerely wish you every happiness I know that you will not need it - the two of you will make your own. You will find that in the weeks coming up to the wedding you will be given advice until it is coming out of your ears but I will give you two pieces that I learned that hard way. Always tell the truth and never go to bed angry.' I blushed at this last but nodded and gave my promise.
'I will remember William.'
We sat and talked for quite a while after this. Our conversation covered not only Thorn's wooing of me and Richard's pathetic attempts at matchmaking (and Thorn's planned revenge) but also, by necessity, the fate of Lydia and Wickham. I cried a little when I heard the full story but William was right, this was for the best. When Thorn had told me that I had to speak to William to get the full story I had gained the distinct impression that he had intended to be there with me. I understood that Thorn wanted to be there to comfort me but to my mind Lydia and Wickham were our problem, mine and William's, and it seemed fitting that it was just us. Thorn would just have to understand that life was full of these little disappointments and that I would make it up to him later.
I had not wanted to seek Richard out in case I interrupted something which I should not but as chance had it I bumped into him on the stairs as we were both going up to change for dinner. I examined him closely, did he look slightly harassed? It was hard to tell for his face changed as soon as he saw me.
'Kitty.' He kissed my cheek. 'Congratulations.' Richard was all smiling beneficence. Self-satisfied smiling beneficence, obviously he was congratulating himself on a job well done. In my humble opinion he deserved everything that was coming to him.
'Thank you Richard.' My tone was heavy with irony, Richard smiled in appreciation and held up a hand to forestall me when I would have continued.
'Ah, Kitty, I see that you are about to thank me for my hand in your present happiness but there is no need I promise you, your and Thorn's smiles are my sole reward.' He gave a demi bow to complete his performance and despite myself I laughed.
'You wretch!' Richard appeared shocked.
'Language Kitty!'
'Oh pooh!' I waved this away.
'So have you forgiven me?' The appeal in Richard's blue eyes were hard to resist. Surely I could forgive him in safety? After all it would be Thorn who would carry out our devious plan. I gave Richard a dazzling smile.
'Of course.'
'Then shall we?' So friends once more, Richard escorted me to my room.
Dinner was, for me at least, a sheer delight. Lizzy and Jane were radiant in their happiness and whereas but six months before I had found the loving glances shared between them and their spouses sickening I now found that not only did I delight in their obvious pleasure but that I was myself party to them. How times do change! As to others well Mama was surprisingly quiet as she basked in the glory of 'four daughters married'. Mary and Georgiana fell, with not a little help, to talking about music and at times Mary forgot to be opinionated and condescending. I hoped that they would become friends but there was time enough for that. When Mr. Hurst discovered that no one wanted to discuss hunting he was silent, waiting I am sure either for the next course or for the card table to be drawn out. For my part I found that I could not be chastened by the depressing looks of Jane's sisters-in-law, indeed I preferred this to the cloying sycophancy which would no doubt follow as soon as they realised my new status and access to all of Thorn's unmarried friends. It was for Thorn and Richard to provide my comic relief. Thorn was so skillful in his campaign to exact revenge that I could see Richard giving him a couple of searching glances as if to ascertain whether Thorn actually knew what he was doing. To my surprise William also had a hand in it, and I could scarce credit my eyes when, at my questioning look he gave me a positively evil smirk. I know that I have said it before, but really how times do change! Caroline Bingley blossomed under their joint attention and their obvious attempts to pair her with Richard. Poor Richard was caught by good manners into going along with it. I do not know how I kept my countenance! At the head of the table Papa sat back in his chair, the pater familias, content, I think, to sit in silence and survey his handiwork.
The gentlemen did not tarry over their port but followed us ladies almost directly after dinner. Thorn played me the piece that he had promised me to great applause and then, after relinquishing the seat to Miss Bingley and trapping Richard into sitting by her for the rest of the evening, came to join me a little apart from everyone else. Family being the wonderful thing that they are they left us well alone.
Thorn's piano piece had reminded me of another evening earlier in our acquaintance and soon I found that we were reminiscing and teasing each other over how we had met.
'I had heard much of you before we had even met and I must say that I was heartily sick of the unmarried Colonel Fitzwilliam and his friend.'
'His friend, is that all I was?' Thorn was much entertained and I replied in mock seriousness.
'Well we did not know your name then, but I had decided that the main object of my visit to Pemberley would be to become friends with Georgiana and hopefully acquire a little sophistication. I had no interest in being wed at that stage.' Thorn smiled and raised his brows.
'You changed your mind, I gather?' I responded to his teasing in good part. My pert look seemed to please him.
'You, sir, are a great trial to my good intentions.' Thorn bent and kissed my hand.
'I am glad to hear it, M'Lady.' I pretended to hit him for his sauce but Thorn soon had me successfully sidetracked. 'If it is any consolation, Kitten, then I was not really looking forward to your company either.' The smile in his eyes made it more than clear of his thought son the matter now and like Thorn I found the irony of our history more than a little diverting. 'William had been rather close-lipped on you saying merely that you were 'friendly if a little unpolished'.'
'And for this you didn't want me there?' I pretended to be hurt.
'Well we had had such a nice Christmas and were such a close knit group that I didn't want you to come in and rock the boat by chasing after Richard or I.' Thorn dropped his defensiveness and had a self-deprecatingly smile. 'Please understand that I made this judgment of you with no input other than my own feelings of self-importance.' He chuckled. 'How the Gods' must have laughed at me!' I had caught onto Thorn's mood and added some ribbing of my own.
'Oh Thorn I recall my first impression of you and I am afraid that it was not at all flattering!' I drew myself up and flashed him an arch look. 'As I remember it you were My Lord Disdain intent on presenting a moody aspect by the window.' I smiled to show how fully my attitude had changed. Thorn retaliated in kind.
'As I recall you were monumentally unimpressed by my attitude and just swanned into breakfast and gave a breezy greeting to all before eating like a horse.' I ignored this sally - the best method of defence was attack after all.
'I resolved to dislike you, you know.' I flashed my dimples and Thorn laughed.
'I did dislike you! I was convinced of it! I was not looking forward to my task at Thrapsten and then your enthusiasm made my self-imposed headache all the worse. How someone could sound so happy about travelling!' Thorn shook his head. 'Then there was the fact that I knew that you cared for my opinion not at all. I am not at all surprised that I felt the need for fresh air.'
'A happy start - you were in my company not five minutes before you felt the need to leave it again.'
'I was glad to be leaving. In the couple of minutes that we had been in the same room you had managed to lodge yourself firmly under my skin with your bad hairstyle, old dress and boundless enthusiasm. My dislike for you was not nearly strong enough and far too akin to attraction to allow my mind to be easy in your company.' It had started then? But then I suppose that I too had been more aware of Thorn at that breakfast than was my wont. I shrugged and smiled.
'A girl tries her best.' Thorn clasped my hand.
'That was the thing Kitten, has always been the thing about you - you never try. Well you try to please, but please the most when you just forget to and are just yourself.' What a lovely compliment! I beamed at him but could not thank him as I would have liked.
'I just could not believe it when I heard what you said of me.' Thorn seemed stricken.
'You remember it still?' Realising my mistake I tried to lighten the moment. It had not been my intention to make him feel guilty but only to laugh at it so that it could not hurt us anymore.
'Of course! You said that I was 'rude, uneducated, unfashionable and vulgar' as well as a few other on dits which I will not trouble myself to recollect.' At the look on his face I could see that Thorn did not share my amusement in this and I rushed to reassure him. 'Please don't apologise Thorn, it was what I needed to hear, I think, a wake up call for my behaviour and attitude.' Thorn could not be so generous and there was a grim look in his eye. Perhaps I should have left well alone.
'No Kitty, I will not do as you ask. I will still be apologising for my crass behaviour when we are old and grey. When you reminded me of it in London I felt an utter heel, I found it utterly conceivable that you could hate me.' Before I had the time to soften this image Thorn was dragging me back to other times. 'You were utterly right to take me to task on my leaving but at the same time. It was also your undoing.' Despite myself I was diverted again. I promised myself that this would not always be the case. I did not want Thorn to chastise himself about a few ill spoken words forever but now was not the time and here was not the place.
'Oh?' Thorn grinned and his look made my heart skip.
'Well it meant that it was impossible to forget you. Your insult stayed with me for the duration of my visit to Thrapsten and London.' Thorn gave me another rueful look. 'I could not imagine that I had done to deserve it!'
'I am sorry that you could not forget me.' I was a model on insincerity, I was not contrite at all!
'Well I was shocked - you obviously just discounted my title and looked at the man beneath and found me wanting. That hurt. Had you fawned over me I would have rebuffed you and forgotten about you, as it was....' Thorn frowned. 'I take it Darcy didn't let you off lightly for the insult.' I shrugged it away.
'No, not exactly. But then I explained and Lizzy fixed everything.'
'Oh?' Thorn looked curious, I smiled and leant in to whisper.
'Thorn darling, I think it comes under the description of 'none of our business.''
'Ah!' funny how such a small phrase can carry a wealth of understanding. I hastily changed the topic.
'Well after you left I had a bad time of it in other ways. '
'Oh?' Thorn's half smile told me that he was not at all sorry and ready to be amused.
'Well everyone tried to convince me of what a nice person you really are. Georgie was the worst she would rattle on about how good and kind you actually were and how she didn't know what was wrong with you that morning.' Thorn looked pleased.
'I will need to thank her, I am glad that someone was pleading my case.'
'I had to promise Georgie that I would forgive you.' Thorn laughed at the face I made to show my disgust at this. 'I am sure you can imagine how happy I was when I heard that you were to come to London with us.'
'Ah, my return to Pemberley! The last nail on my coffin!'
'Thorn!' Well naturally I protested! I mean who wouldn't? Thorn was unmoved by my shock and remained whimsical.
'Well it was the end of my bachelorhood, Kitten, a man cannot see that go without some small feeling of regret no matter how in love he is.'
'Foolishness.' I snorted. I had the impression that he was just trying to rile me and I was most annoyed that it hard worked so easily.
'It certainly was.' Thorn said cordially. 'You had me head over heels, do you know that? Imagine, if you will, my first image of my return - a beautiful young lady practicing the waltz with Richard while everyone else looked on. Not so astonishing perhaps except that the beautiful young lady was someone that I had spent the last month trying very hard not to think about and she was leading in the waltz. Leading very well, may I say, and reducing the rest of the room to stitches as she played out her farce. Is it any wonder that you captivated me? I could scarcely credit my eyes!'
'I noticed.' Thorn is not the only one who can tease!
'I thought I noticed you noticing!' Thorn gave me a rueful look. 'I am afraid that I wasn't very articulate.'
'No dear.' I patted his hand in consolation.
'But that was not to be the end of my torture!' There was more?
'Why, what else did I do?' I honestly couldn't remember but Thorn was certainly acting as if I had dealt him a massive slight.
'You, Miss Bennet, deliberately set out to drive me crazy.' I laughed at the accusing look on my lover. Thorn ignored me. 'Firstly you would not talk to me over dinner.'
'I talked!' I protested between giggles.
'But you did not talk to me, or rather you were scrupulously polite to me and no more.' Thorn then grinned in remembered triumph. 'I got you to talk to me after dinner.'
'I have always had a soft spot for well played music, you must play more often when we are wed, although it is slightly embarrassing that you play better than I.'
'Never fear, Kitten, I will teach you.' Thorn's seductive smile fell into a frown. 'Why did Richard and Darcy not say anything?' I was completely at a loss for understanding him.
'About what?'
'About you overhearing that conversation.'
'Oh,' I smiled impishly at Thorn, 'I asked them not to - I wanted to exact my revenge and I couldn't very well do that if you came grovelling to me at the off now could I?'
Before Thorn could reply we were interrupted by Papa who said that it was time for us to take our leave but I left happy with the promise of a visit the next day.
The next few days passed in a whirl of preparations, morning visits, congratulations and stolen moments. To my amusement Thorn and William kept up the pressure on Richard and I was told in confidence that he was actually thinking of running away to London to get away from them!
The Banns were read that Sunday in my church. At this Mama had protested that surely a soon to be countess should be married in town. I had wondered much the same thing but Thorn then explained, very matter-of-factly, that one of his ancestors had been a favourite in the court of Queen Elizabeth but had married against that lady's will. Apparently this had set a tradition that lasted to this day of being married in the bride's church. I must confess that I felt rather intimidated by the thought of the family that I was about to enter. I knew that Thorn had no close relatives but the thought of so muchhistory! I think that my face must have shown some of my thoughts for Thorn had then squeezed my hand and whispered that it was him that I was marrying and not the earldom. I murmured back that I had got that as well, whether I liked it or not. Thorn then excused us and once alone had shown me in no uncertain terms that the benefits of my future position more than outweighed the disadvantages. A very persuasive man, my Thorn.