The Secrets of Longbourn - Section II

    By Kara

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    Chapter 8A

    Posted on Wednesday, 6 October 1999

    The ride to London was an extremely wet and bumpy one. Beth was very unhappy as she stared out of the carriage window and watched the rain pour down against it. Her first glimpse of London was not a very good one - and gave her a rather unpleasant feeling towards it. Dull, wet, gray, gloomy, and smoky. That was London's description on that rainy day, and Beth did not like the site.

    "Isn't London a very splendid town! Why, look at the buildings!" Lady Catherine was saying, as she looked out of the window. Beth thought she was behaving madly. "What a pity that it is raining. If only it would stop!" Lady Catherine sighed and rested her voice until they came to her extremely large town house.

    "Ah, here we are Elizabeth! It is a very splendid house -- I chose it myself. You will not find a more comfortable nor beautiful rooms in all of London!" she said, as she and Beth stepped out of the carriage and went into the house where the servants were waiting for them.

    "It is a grand house!" Beth breathed, as she stepped in, looked around the grand hall, and ventured to peek into rooms where the doors were open.

    "It is a grand house. Now follow Lily, Miss Elizabeth. She will show you to your room." Lady Catherine ordered, and Beth obediently followed Lily to her room.

    "It's a lovely room Miss." Lily whispered, as she led Beth up the stairs and Beth smiled at her.

    I think I've found a friend! Beth thought, and her smile grew wider as she looked at Lily.

    "Here we are Miss." Lily said and opened the door to a beautiful room. Beth held her breath for a few moments as she looked around. The room was magnificent. Beth walked around, thinking that this room would be the most beautiful one she had ever lived in. Lily left the room, and Beth was left alone to relax for an hour before joining Lady Catherine.

    May 30, 1765

    Here I am, writing you again. I have two very important things to tell you. The most important, I suppose, is that Thomas is going to be married in two months ...to Miss Margaret Carter! My dearest friend! I am so glad that she is to be my sister! Thomas is so very happy. He clearly adores her, and she is wild over him as well. They will suit each other perfectly.

    The second thing concerns me and my happiness. I have discovered that it has always been Alexander Solodkov that I have admired -- from the first time I saw him! I do not think it is love yet -- but then I do not know what it is to love a person truly. But, I certainly am extremely attracted to him. And now, I find out that he has been coming to our house to see me! He was coming to see me the whole time -- but Elizabeth never gave him a chance to come near me -- or even speak to me. Then when I spoke to him as we danced at that ball, he thought I did not like him because of our conversation. I had remarked on something about him and Elizabeth -- he thought I was wishing that he would marry Elizabeth! He is so sweet and told me that he loves green eyes. I'm the only woman in my family with green eyes! We did not have time to talk any more -- because of Thomas' announcement, but I hope to see him again soon. I want to talk to him -- to find out his character and about his life in Russia. I'm excited! This will be my first admirer! My heart flutters as I remember his eyes looking into mine -- no one ever looks at me like that. His eyes are not filled with desire -- nor even passionate love ... but something else ... perhaps something deeper. I will have to explore what he means when he watches me as he did last night.
    Well, I must conclude for now. It is May again. She wishes me to go out on her walk with her. Good bye for now!
    Rose Bennet

    Beth laid aside the book and went downstairs.

    "Here you a my girl! Now come over here! We will now start making preparations for your ball." Lady Catherine said, when Beth entered the room. Beth sighed and sat down next to her, preparing herself for a long talk.

    Chapter 8B

    Posted on Friday, 15 October 1999

    "Now Elizabeth -- I have made out a list of all the people who will be invited to the ball." Lady Catherine said, a week after they had arrived. Beth's eyes widened as she saw the, over two-page, long list.

    "Do that many people have to come Lady Catherine?" Beth gulped, and Lady Catherine looked at her sternly.

    "Of course! You want to have many choices of whom you will marry." Beth looked at her feet.

    "When will the ball take place?" Beth whispered.

    "It will take me a while to get everything prepared correctly. I think in a month. That will give the invitations time to reach everyone and guest the time to prepare. Besides that -- the decorations, (if any), and the meals. There is much to do, but don't worry Elizabeth, I will fix everything perfectly." Lady Catherine said and smiled at her. Beth felt tired and asked to be excused to her room. She was let out and went to her room to read.

    July 30, 1765

    I'm extremely sorry that these days I have never had time to write to you. I have just returned from Thomas and Margaret's wedding. It was so beautiful! Margaret was radiant, and Thomas looked very happy. My parents are pleased with the match, as are everyone else.

    I have been seeing Solodkov for a while now -- but it is done in a more quiet manner than my sister. We dance and talk, but he almost ever comes to our house in Bath, as my parents would be angry.

    We are as yet, still in Bath, but will be leaving in a week's time. I do not want to go, as I will be away from Solodkov! But, he will be leaving in two weeks as well, and so it is not much difference. I wonder if we will go away and just forget about each other?

    Good bye for now, dear friend!
    Rose Bennet

    It was not very late when Beth finished reading her book, and since it was still light out, she decided to take a walk. The cool breeze felt wonderful on her cheeks as she walked through the garden and onto the street. She breathed in deeply. It was wonderful to be alive and outside on a December evening like this -- it was not raining, not snowing, and the air wasn't too frosty. Beth's favorite time of year was winter -- if it didn't rain too much. Since it usually did rain a lot though -- and snowed very seldom, Beth was beginning to think that perhaps it was autumn that she liked best -- and then winter.

    'Ah, well.' Beth sighed, and forgot which season was her favorite month as she kept on walking.

    Beth realized too late that she had strayed too far from home. She thought that she would get lost when she set out? Why had she not heeded the nagging thought? She turned around in a circle. Then she ran back in the direction she thought she had come.

    Perhaps she would have made it home without much trouble -- had she not bumped into two men who were walking down the street. She jumped back and the men peered at her closely.

    "Eh Jones! Looky wot we 'ave 'ere! A lil' doll to play with," Jones cocked his head.

    "A very pretty doll at that, Canner," he said.

    "Wanna play with me dolly?" the man who had spoken first said to Beth. The man cackled and reached his hand towards her. Beth ran. She ran she fast as she could, but the men followed.

    "Help!" she cried as she ran through alleyways, and down a long street.

    "You don' need to yell, lil' dolly. We'll be good to ye," one of the men called after her, as they followed swiftly. Beth looked behind her and saw the men gaining on her. She tried to run faster -- but stumbled and fell hard on the cobblestone. She closed her eyes and waited for the men to grab her...

    clip clop

    What was that?

    clip clop

    Beth opened her eyes and lifted her head up a little to see. Lights...lamplight...a carriage! She scrambled up and began to run toward the carriage coming in her direction.

    "Looky 'ere gal, stay with us and play! We'll be good to ye! Just come home and play!" Canner sneered, as he grabbed hold of Beth's wrist, pulling her toward him.

    "NO!" Beth screamed, and he gasped as the carriage came to a halt right in front of them! Canner let go of her wrist and started to run into the shadows as a horse whip came flicking at him and his companion.

    "Lay your hands off of the lady!" a voice was crying, and Beth, who had crumpled to the ground, turned and saw a middle-aged, tall, man with dark hair step quickly out of the carriage and start towards her. A woman also stepped out of the carriage and came towards her. She was graceful and beautiful...and there was something very familiar about her, Beth thought...

    "Mrs. Darcy!" Beth cried, and began to sob when the woman's strong arms circled around her, helping her up.

    "Who is this Elizabeth?" the man asked, as she helped Beth up and led her to the carriage. The man followed.

    "It's Charlotte Collins' daughter, Fitzwilliam. Her name is Beth." Mr. Darcy smiled.

    "The one you always talked about?"

    "Yes." Elizabeth said, and she and Beth stepped into the carriage with Mr. Darcy following.

    Beth stopped crying, and looked around the carriage.

    "Who is this mamma?" a young man's voice was saying.

    "Richard, JaneAnne, Marianne, I want you all to meet Miss Beth Collins," Elizabeth said, and Beth wiped her eyes with a handkerchief that Mr. Darcy had offered. "Beth, this is my son Richard, and daughters JaneAnne and Marianne."

    Chapter 9A

    Posted on Sunday, 24 October 1999

    "Hello," The three children chorused.

    "Where are you from?" Richard asked as he eyed Beth curiously.

    "I'm living with Lady Catherine de Bourgh. Did you all know that?" Beth asked. Mr. Darcy looked away from her and Elizabeth D. looked uncomfortable.

    "Lady Catherine has not been on speaking terms with us since we married." Elizabeth D. said quietly, and Beth nodded understandingly.

    "We will take you back to Lady Catherine's townhouse and drop you off there. But while you are here would you like to spend some time with us?" Elizabeth D. asked, and Beth nodded her head vigorously. Elizabeth D. gave them their address.

    "Mrs. Darcy? I would like to invite you, and Mr. Darcy of course, to my coming out ball. I will let you know when the exact date will be." Beth said. Elizabeth raised one eyebrow.

    "Will Lady Catherine approve of that?" she asked, and Beth's face fell for a moment.

    "She doesn't have to know..." Beth began, "until the day of the ball when you arrive. If she wanted to get you out, she'd have to make a scene, and that would mean disgrace. Besides, she told me I could invite whom ever I wanted." Elizabeth D. and Darcy smiled.

    "We'll see Beth. I do want to be there for you..." Elizabeth began, but the carriage came to a halt, and Beth was home. She kissed Elizabeth D. and then got out of the carriage. She stood on the pavement and watched them depart. She sighed and then headed back into the house. Lady Catherine had not even known she was missing...

    "Our last night together before you leave." Solodkov sighed. I looked away from his sad face, and around the garden. The sun had just set and brilliant colors of red, pink, orange and yellow still filled the sky.

    "It can't be helped Mr. Solodkov. You will be leaving soon as well." I said, and he shook his head.

    "Please, call me Alexander - or Sasha. And I promise to write you when I'm gone."

    I laughed. "Sasha?" I exclaimed, very amused.

    "It's short for Alexander in Russian. Please, call me Sasha. All of my very dear friends call me that." he pleaded.

    "I like Alexander." I said, and he stood up from his seat and fingered a rose that was on a bush near by me. I looked at him inquiringly.

    "What is the matter?" I asked, and he sat next to me after a few minutes of thinking, then took hold of my hand and held it for a minute, as if he didn't know what to say. I wanted to give him a sign to say something, but didn't know exactly what.

    "What are you doing?" he asked, and I looked at him, puzzled.

    "Talking to you." I said, nervously. I couldn't think of anything else to say, and so tried to joke a bit.

    "No, what do you want from me?" he asked, and then let go of my hand. He looked worried or nervous. "Do you love me Rose?" he asked finally, after a long pause, and I faltered.

    I reminded myself of how many times I had thought of what would happen if he asked me that question. I rehearsed what I would answer, how I would act. Some day's I would think that I would say yes, other times no...but lately I had always thought that I would say yes...but now...

    "I - well, I don't know." I answered unsteadily. He stood up and paced again. He looked unsure about how to react to my answer. I fiddled with a trinket I was wearing, and then made up my mind about what to say, "Do you love me?" I whispered and he turned back.

    "Yes." he answered simply. I didn't know what to answer and cursed myself for having forgotten everything I had planned to say.

    "Teach me Alexander. Teach me what it is to love." I said. He sent me a clear gaze with those eyes...

    I knew he was going to kiss me before it happened. I expected it to be something more than a kiss on the cheek though. But as soon as I felt his lips on my cheek I felt faint and needed to catch my breath. He moved away from me and I closed my eyes for a second. When I opened them he was leaving. Something in me started screaming: Don't go! Don't leave me! I suddenly called to him,

    "I love you! I love you Sasha!" he turned and smiled at me. I felt as if I was ice, touched by the warm sun...and melting. He then came up to me, and reached out his hand. I grasped it for a second, held it to my heart, and then let if fall. He then pulled a beautiful silk scarf out of his breast pocket. It was lavender...my favorite color. How had he known? He gently placed it around my neck. He then pulled out a few pieces of paper with writing on them.

    "These are for when you miss me terribly. It's a few passages from my note book, about when I first met you, and why I love you." he said, his voice sounding hoarse, and then left.

    I stared at the papers and scarf in my hand for a few minutes. A tear rolled down my cheek. I knew now that I loved him with all of my heart. I would do anything for him, and never wanted to be separated. I felt gladness at knowing we loved each other, but the knowledge of his going away made my heart feel heavy again.

    "He promised to write..." I told myself, but the emptiness I felt inside would not go away.

    Beth turned to page and saw the pages from Alexander's journal. She unfolded them and began reading.

    Today I have met a very beautiful woman. Her name is Rose Bennet. I first saw her at an evening party. She was sitting down and thinking. I could have watched her for hours without stopping. The first minute I saw her I knew she was someone wonderful, and knew when I watched her that I should be careful. Once, she met my eyes and looked surprised that I was watching her. She then looked away, turned in her seat, and looked at her sister who was also watching me. He face darkened for a minute, and she rose from her seat, leaving the room. Her sister then came and talked to me. The sister, Miss Elizabeth is very nice. However I do hope she'll give me a chance to speak with her sister. I look forward to seeing more of Rose Bennet.

    I have been visiting the Bennets to try and become better acquainted with the eldest Miss Bennet. But every time I go her sister Elizabeth is always there to greet me, to talk to me. I never have a chance to speak to Miss Rose. I think Miss Elizabeth is attached to me, while I am swiftly finding myself wanting to be with her older sister -- and only her! I can not tell if Miss Bennet wants to talk to me. She is always very quiet when we meet, but talks to a man named York.

    She danced the second two dances with me. I can not tell what she meant when she talked to me, but know that now she expects me to marry Miss Elizabeth Bennet. What a fool I am! Why must she think so? Have I acted in a way that makes them think I am in love with the second youngest sister? No! I have tried to pay attention to the oldest! But perhaps it is not too late. Maybe her parents will put a stop the her attachment...

    I now pity Miss Elizabeth. She really was attached to me and, as I had wished, her parents have ended the fancy. She hardly speaks to me now, but is very gloomy. Miss Bennet does not talk to me at all, and now I think she is angry.

    Rose Bennet is not angry at me! She talked to me this evening about how I was depressed. I not only was able to speak to her about my true feelings, and learn that she returned my affections at least a little -- but also learned a new word. I will have to remember it.

    Her brother is now engaged to be married to Miss Roe's best friend. I'm very happy for her. And as I watched Miss Rose this evening, I had a feeling that this was something more than a slight attachment to me. Could it be turning into something more?

    I have decided today that I love Rose. She allows me to call her Rose when we are talking together. I love her for everything that she is, and my heart is light because I have discovered this. Our only obstacles now is that I'm not sure if she loves me; her father; and that she will be leaving Bath in two days time. I will tell her everything before she leaves and will give her a few pages of this notebook for her to read. And also the purple scarf that was grandmother's. But only if she loves me...

    Beth smiled as she held the pages of his journal and Rose's diary. 'So romantic!' she thought, and then remembered something about the box in which she had found the diary in. She pulled the box out from where it was hidden under the bed, and opened it. Inside, she smelled the faint scent of perfume and lifted the bundle of letters and a thin book out of the box. She then rested her eyes on the silk scarf that lay on the bottom of the box. She had not touched it before and was nervous to do so now.

    'It is so old!' she thought, but then reached down her hand and lifted it out of the box. It was soft and beautiful: the scarf given to Rose by Alexander ...Sasha. Beth smiled to herself and then glanced back down at the box.

    She saw a little handle on the green velvet that lined the box and pulled on it. A part of the box opened on the bottom, and inside were a few jewels. Beth gasped as she saw an almost completely empty perfume bottle, an opal pin and a pearl necklace with matching earrings.

    "Why would she leave these here?" Beth thought aloud, and had an urge to read the end of the diary. She decided not to, and put everything back the way it was.

    "I wonder if I could wear the pearls at my coming out ball?" Beth thought, wondering if it would be wrong. Then she blew out the light, and went to sleep.

    Chapter 9B

    Posted on Sunday, 31 October 1999

    Beth woke up one morning with a splitting headache and fever. It was a week before her coming out ball, but now she needed to tell Lady Catherine that she was ill, and couldn't have it so soon. She rang her bell for Lily, who came into the room.

    "Lily --" Beth began. Her voice cracked and she couldn't speak above a whisper, "Tell Lady Catherine that I can't have the ball so soon. I feel very ill, and need rest. Tell her that I'm just feeling very ill though, as I do not want a doctor." Lily nodded and was starting out the door when she collided with Lady Catherine's servant. Lily stopped for a minute to listen to what she would say.

    "Lady Catherine has ordered me to tell you Miss Elizabeth, that she is feeling ill today, and wishes to postpone the ball until perhaps next month." she servant said.

    Lily answered for Beth by saying that she was also feeling poorly, and saw do difficulty with the ball's date being moved. The servant left, and Lily also left after making sure Beth had everything she needed.

    Beth sat up in her bed, propped up by her pillows and took a sip of her tea with milk and honey in it. Lily had told her that it helped tremendously with colds and Beth was willing to try anything that tasted good. Beth found the remedy very tasty, and so decided to relax and stay in bed. After a few minutes of trying to embroider, Beth gave in, finding that her hands were shaking slightly and her head was beginning to throb. She closed her eyes for a few minutes until the throbbing stopped, and she pulled forth Rose's diary, which she had placed under her pillow last night, and began to read.

    August 14, 1765

    I have not written in about a month, but have finally disciplined myself enough to sit down and write to you. I have actually been spending my evenings writing to Sasha. He has sent me one letter so far. I wanted to hear from him more often -- but he says that he has been busy with parties that his friends have been throwing. His letters are always short but I love getting them.

    Margaret is with child. They were married two months ago now, (I think), and she will have her baby sometime in March. I am so excited! I will be an aunt! Thomas and Margaret are very happy as well.

    Elizabeth is not gloomy anymore, and is herself again. She talks cheerfully and spends much of her time with a new friend she has made at church. She does not spend as much time with me anymore, but that does not bother me. I enjoy being by myself these days.

    I will conclude now, but promise to write twice a week at most but at least every week. I promise no more as I will be writing letters more often then diary entries.

    Rose Bennet

    August 22, 1765

    I have kept my promise, and am writing you as I should. I received another letter from Sasha, telling me of how he misses me. We have a friend in Bath how helps get the letters to me without my parents knowing. I also send the letters to her. I know it is a she from Sasha, but have never met her myself. Perhaps someday.

    But again the letter is short. I do not mind as I think it is hard for him to find time to write me. His cousin, (well, he says they are third cousins or something), Mr. Field, I hear is a very busy man, always going places and throwing evening parties. Also, Sasha hates to write in English. It's lucky for me that he writes his journal in English, to improve his skills, but his entries there are also short and infrequent. I write him very long letters and he writes that he enjoys reading them every night before going to bed.

    We already plan for Thomas and Margaret's little one. I shall knit some very nice things for it, and will also embroider some handkerchiefs for it. Mother and Father are excited already. They have already thought of names to give to Thomas and Margaret when they visit us. At present they are staying with Maragret's relatives in Bath but are coming to live with us again tomorrow.

    Mr. York has come to Meryton. I am not pleased, for he has come visiting again, and I cannot say anything as I am not engaged to Sasha -- yet. I believe I wish to be engaged to him, but he is not here. Mr. York is a very wonderful person, and I would like him very much -- as a friend. But I do not wish him as a lover. Perhaps he will forget about me if Elizabeth takes a liking to him.

    Yours ever,
    Rose Bennet

    Beth raised her eyes from the book, a sudden idea springing into her head. She got out of bed quickly and crawled under it, remembering too late that her head still felt bad. But she did not climb back into bed to relax until she had the box in her hands.

    Beth settled back into the pillows and under the covers before opening the box again and inhaling its sweet aroma. She lifted Elizabeth journal from the top, and pulled out the bundle of letters. She hurriedly untied the knot with which the letters were tied together and looked at the address on one of the envelopes.

    "Just as I thought!" she whispered. The letters were addressed to Miss Rose Bennet from Mr. Alexander Solodkov, Bath. She smiled to herself and opened on of them.

    The date was the 30th of July. The first letter, Beth thought, and began reading.

    Dearest Rose,

    You cannot know how much it means to me when I get your letters. I get them every other day, and read them with great pleasure every night. I enjoy reading about what happens to you during the day, and my heart was glad when I heard about the news concerning your brother and sister in law's blessing.

    I cannot begin to say how much I miss you, or how much I love you because the letter would never end. And I do not know if I could write so much in Engilsh. So moya darogaya, (my dear), you will have to satisfy yourself with my poor, short letters. I never write much in my letters, even in Russian, and it is hard for me to do it in English for you. But since I'm writing for you, I will try to make them longer.

    I go to many parties almost every evening. Mr. Field is a very out-going man, and so is his wife. I hear he has been working on a estate near your county. An old manor house that he is fixing up and will re-name. We plan to stay there this autumn if his plans go well. If it really is near you, then perhaps we may visit. We shall see.

    I must finish my letter. We are holding a whist party this evening, and I have been invited to join in the game. I will write as soon as I have more spare time.

    Yours,
    Sasha Solodkov

    Beth turned back to the diary...

    September 5, 1765

    I have not written for about two weeks, but I have not had time. At least it has not been a month. I have begun tutoring May. I teach her French and help her with her handwriting. It is tiresome work and I hate doing it. Mother thinks it will help May however, as my French is excellent and handwriting nice as well. Elizabeth is helping her with everything else.

    Thomas and his wife have arrived and are staying with us. I am enjoying Margaret's company, and am delighted when we are alone and can talk.

    I still write frequently to Sasha. There have been no more letters yet, only two so far, and I am feeling a little gloomy these days. Still, I am expecting his letter soon. I wonder which manor house Mr. Field is fixing up?

    Oh dear, May needs me to help her with her lessons. How tedious, and just when I was beginning to tell my news! Well, good bye for now!

    Rose Bennet

    "I hope you will be nice to Mr. York this evening, because he has been very attentive to you." My mother told me the night we were invited to the Longs' evening party. I sighed, exasperated, and then went downstairs.

    We were visiting the Longs'. But this evening party was supposedly a sort of miniature ball, and there were supposedly our new neighbors who were to be there. They had taken the house near to us. It used to an old cottage, but the new neighbors have been repairing it, making additions, and all sorts of things. I was eager to meet them.

    The carriage ride to the Longs' was not extensive, and we arrived at their house shortly. We were greeted by them and then led into the ballroom were everything was prepared. It was a miniature ball!

    "Rose! Rose, pay attention!" My mother said and led me over to a group of people. Mrs. Long was speaking to my father and sisters.

    "...And let me introduce Mr. Field, his wife Mrs. Field and their relation, Mr. Alexander Solodkov."

    My head, which had been turned the other way, snapped over in the direction of Mrs. Long. A tall, dark hair young man turned and his gaze fell on me. As I looked up into his amazing blue eyes and realized that it really was him I nearly fainted. Recollecting myself however, I smiled as I never had before and curtsied most prettily.

    The house of which he had been speaking was the house three miles away from us! It was re-named Netherfield. I was never so happy in my life as I was that evening. Sasha claimed me for the first two dances.

    Chapter 10A

    Posted on Monday, 1 November 1999

    September 30th, 1765

    Sasha is here! I have been spending much time with him. We are rarely alone, but the Field's have a friend staying with them, a John and his sister, Miss Sarah... something. I can not remember their name, and it is so easy! It begins with an N. Oh well! I visit the girl, and we have become good friends. She is about my age. It is actually rumoured that her brother, Mr. John N...is soon to be married to the eldest of the Field's daughters, who is fifteen. I think she is rather young, but perhaps it is only a rumour.

    Sasha has again told me that he loves me. We have been having such a nice time talking together! I must conclude now, as it is very late at night, and I must be going to bed.

    Yours ever,
    Rose Bennet

    Sasha and I were strolling through the garden at Netherfield. Sarah had gone into the house with the complaint of a headache and left Sasha and me alone. I was no longer uncomfortable with him alone, and we chatted about many different things together. I then decided to tell him my worst fear...

    "Sasha, there is something important I need to ask you. Mr. York has been calling..." I glanced at him as we walked and saw him stiffen.

    "Yes?" he asked with a glance at me.

    I continued. "Well, I do not know what to do. My mother is looking forward to my marrying him, and I'm sure my father does too," Sasha stopped walking and took my arm.

    "He has proposed and you are asking if you should accept him?" he asked, searching my eyes in a frantic way. I pulled away from him.

    "What kind of person do you think I am?" I cried, wounded. He relaxed, and asked me to continue. "I just don't know how to put him off. Should I do it directly, or softly, or not put him off at all?" I asked.

    "So you family does not know of our attachment at all?" he asked and I shook my head.

    "No. I don't want it to be put to an end." I said.

    "It would be rather rude to put him off directly..." Sasha began, and I waited for his answer. "Perhaps it would be best if we didn't keep the attachment secret...f you openly show that you love me. What your father does not know about me is that I have a very good future. I'm to inherit a nice estate in my homeland and, until I do, my sea faring career is not going badly. If that were explained to your father at some time I'm sure he would have no objection..." Sasha said, and glanced at me with great warmth in his eyes.

    I kissed his cheek and then said I had to go home. I felt wonderful feeling certain, that everything thing was going to work out. I practically skipped into the house and was heading down the corridor to my room when my father called to me from his study, asking me to come see him. I walked in briskly and sat down. In a dreamy way I asked,

    "Yes father, what is it?"

    He cleared his throat matter-of-factly. "I have just had a very important meeting with Mr. James York." he said. I snapped to attention at that name.

    "That's very interesting. I said, and he nodded.

    "We have come to a very important decision." He paused and looked at me. By this time, I was getting rather nervous. He cleared his throat again. "He asked permission for your hand in marriage."

    I rose in my seat. He motioned for me to sit down. I relaxed, thinking that he had not given permission if he was trying to calm me.

    "I have given him my permission." he said. I jumped from my seat this time, knocking it over.

    "What?" I almost yelled.

    "You are to marry Mr. York. He is in the library, awaiting you with a ring. You will decide on a date. Let me tell you my daughter, that it should be soon as well. Go on then. He is waiting for you. You must marry him Rose." he said coldly. I looked into his eyes. This was not the father I knew. But then, my father had always been proud, and always wished for more. Argument would be useless.

    I walked stiffly from the room. I no longer felt the happiness that I had only a few moments ago. I felt despair and rebelliousness. I would not marry Mr. James York. I glanced up and he was standing before me, reaching for my arm and taking hold of it gently. I jerked away and roughly moved past him. I then almost ran from the house, towards Netherfield. I had to find Sasha!

    I ran as fast as I could to Netherfield. I found Sasha where I had left him, in the garden. He was sitting on a bench, meditating.

    "Sasha!" I called, out of breath. He stood up and a smile crossed his face as he saw me run up to him.

    "You couldn't stand being away from me for more then a half an hour?" he joked, but the serious look on my face made his smile disappear. "What is the matter?" he asked and I caught my breath.

    "Mr. York visited father today and has asked for my hand in marriage! Oh Sasha, he says I must marry him!" I cried. He stood still for a few minutes. Then he smiled at me.

    "Then there is only one thing we can do." he kneeled down in front of me. "Will you marry me Rose Julia Bennet?" he asked as my eyes filled with tears.

    "Yes," I whispered at first, and then, "Yes I will marry you, Alexander Solodkov...Sasha!" He rose and took both of my hands in his. We kissed and then he held me for a long time.

    I rested my head on his strong shoulder and forgot everything that had happened. I did not have to marry York because I would marry Sasha. My father would get over it because Sasha's prospects were not bad at all. Mother would never have wanted to me to enter into an engagement without my consent anyway.

    "I love you." I whispered, and Sasha lifted my chin and kissed me on the lips again. We embraced and then began walking back in the direction of the house.

    Sasha began fiddling with one of my curls, which was falling out of my hair. I sprang away from him playfully, again in my good mood. He, sensing that I was playing, ran after me as I went down the path. He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the direction of Netherfield.

    "I want to tell John Nether. He is my best friend and will be happy to hear the news." I still wanted to play chase for a minute before going in, to let out the energy that was making me giddy.

    "No!" I cried but he dragged me in the direction he wanted to go, despite my struggle. I looked at him with a wicked smile on my face and was about the use all my strength to pull my arm free when I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder, yanking me away from Sasha. I turned around and stared into the brown eyes of John York! His eyes were filled with rage and he pushed me away from him. I fell back and watched as York hit Sasha.

    "No!" I screamed and York turned to face me as Sasha held a hand to his bleeding nose. "Don't, Sasha." I said, as he looked as though he was about to hit York back. York glared at me.

    "What are you doing with him?" he growled and grasped onto my hand.

    "I was spending some time saying good bye to him. I must marry you and he has been my very dear friend. I have not done anything dishonorable John." I said. Sasha stared at me.

    He looked as if it was I who had slapped him. My heart felt like it was ripping, but I continued bravely.

    "This wasn't what you thought is was. We were just..." I searched for the right word to explain our game, "Playing. Now Mr., York, really. Cannot I have a little fun with an old friend of mine? I was so happy about the news that I was giddy, and was letting out some energy by running. He was stopping me from doing this, saying it was too unladylike, but I disagreed. Oh look, here is Sarah back! She can tell you we weren't doing anything wrong, were we Sarah?" I lied.

    "No..." she began.

    "You see! Come John, let us go back to the house. We have many things to discuss." I led him away from Sasha and Sarah. I knew Sasha saw through what I had said.

    I glanced up at John. With a sickening feeling I realized that the man loved me with all of his heart! I felt a pang of remorse for him, but knew what I had to do. We talked that day about plans and decided on a date: October the 11th. That was only five days away. I then left him and went up to my room. I began to write a note to Sasha:

    Meet me in the gardens at Netherfield on the 10th at midnight. From there we can go to Meryton and take a carriage that I will order to Gretna Green where we can marry.

    Yours,
    Rose

    I sent it to him with a little servant boy with the promise that, if he carried it there safely and brought a message back, I'd give him a pound. Very expensive, but I was desperate. This is the message I received back:

    Rose, I will meet you there. After we are married, we may travel on a ship named St. Maria, a Russian ship that I would eventually have gotten on anyway. It will take us to my Homeland. I have sent an express to the Capitain, who is my very good friend that we are coming, and they will not sail away until we arrive. Also, on the way there, we may stop in a little town I know of with a church there. It is near here. We have enough time to arrange a respectable licence sevretly, and will be married without much scandal, besides the fact that you were to be married to someone else. I will begin making the arrangments.

    Yours,
    Sasha

    Chapter 10B

    Posted on Wednesday, 3 November 1999

    October 10, 1765

    Dear friend, I am leaving Longbourn today! How I shall miss it, and my family. Elizabeth I will miss the most. I am leaving my diary here, in the room. She will find it I know, because I'm leaving her a letter. I will leave Mother and Father a letter as well, explaining my true feelings, and telling them that we will be married respectably. I am so nervous! I even have a nice white dress that I will bring. I may not bring very many of my things with me, as it will be a lot to carry. John and his sister are to be witnesses for the wedding. I am so nervous I can hardly write!

    It is later on in the night. I am leaving now, and have finished the letters to my family. I shall leave in an hour. Everything has gone well. So farewell my friend, forever! Perhaps someday I shall return if my parents allow it, and will write in you again.

    Yours forever,
    Rose Julia Bennet

    Beth sorrowfully lifted her eyes from the book. The diary was ended with about ten pages left blank. She pulled out the bundle of letters and carefully chose the one Rose had written to Elizabeth.

    Dearest Liz,

    I write to you in the greatest of haste. I am to marry Alexander Solodkov. I know you will hate me for a while, but you will get over it. Perhaps you do not care for him anymore, and will be happy for me. But you must understand, dearest, that I cannot marry Mr. York. He is a good man, but nothing to Alexander ... my Sasha. We will be married tonight at a respectable church, not at Gretna Green. Comfort Mama and Papa as best you can, and the girls. But help Mr. York as well. He will need help I believe.

    I must leave but, before I go, you must find my diary. It is under my bed. Find it and read it. Then you will understand everything more clearly.

    I love you forever,
    Your sister Rose

    Beth reached again for the diary. She touched the last page Rose had written and suddenly noticed that the back of the next page looked as though something was glued to it. She turned the page quickly. A newspaper clipping was stuck to the page.

    The Russian ship, called the Saint Maria never reached its destination. It was --

    The article was cut off there, and nothing else was written.

    A tear began to stream slowly down Beth's cheek. She quickly wiped it away but more tears began streaming. She couldn't stop them, so she silently wept to herself for the fate of Rose Julia Solodkov.

    Later on that day after Beth had finished a nap, she suddenly remembered Elizabeth's diary. She found the box and pulled out the diary with shaky hands. She didn't want to read it but she had to know what had happened; if Rose had really died. She opened it and began reading the script, which was small and more elegant than Rose's ...

    Rose is gone. I found her diary under her bed today. I have put it in her favorite box, along with her pearls and the jewelry she left behind. They are all her favorite things. I think she left them to me. I will wear some of, and whoever finds this book and learns Rose's fate may also wear them for, when I leave this house forever, I will leave them and the box here, under my bed. She also left behind her scarf; the most beautiful scarf I've ever seen. I do not know why she left it but think she did it by mistake. I miss her terribly.

    The word 'terribly' was smeared, obviously because of a tear, Beth saw, and her eyes again welled up with tears as she read on.

    She never told me that she loved him! Never asked if it was alright that she leaves me alone! She was wrong, I did not love Solodkov anymore. I'll try to do everything she had told me to do and to help Mr. York out. He is very upset since we found out she was gone.

    I don't know what to do without her

    Another smudged spot on the paper!

    She ought never to have gone without saying goodbye to me!

    More smudging

    Well, I must stop for now. Goodbye, my romantic sister! May you rest in peace.

    Elizabeth!

    Beth raised her eyes from the book. She could see Elizabeth sitting before her at the writing desk, shakily writing down a few notes. Tears began falling down Elizabeth's pale cheeks, and she began sobbing as she wrote.

    Beth shook her head, trying to be more cheerful. After all, this had been many, many years ago, and Elizabeth was probably dead by now. She turned back to the diary. Nothing else was really important. The birth of her cousin, a boy, the late Mr. Bennet, Elizabeth's father! Other birth dates followed and then Beth came to a very interesting date. It was the marriage of Mr. John York and Elizabeth Bennet, in 1767. Two years after Rose disappeared John York had fallen in love with the second eldest of the Bennet sisters. A few things in his praise were jotted down by Elizabeth before she was married and then the dates stopped .

    The box was finished. She had read everything she could about the Bennet sisters and Rose's tragic history. Beth closed the note book and then put everything back into the box, turned the key, and put it under her bed.

    As a tear streamed down her cheek she said, "Oh, I wish I'd never found it!" and began to cry, hating herself for being too emotional and wishing that she had never heard of Rose Bennet. It caused her only grief and sorrow. What good would knowing about Rose do for Beth? How would it help her in any way? Nothing. None at all.

    Chapter 11A

    Posted on Sunday, 14 November 1999

    Beth got up from bed and stretched. She was feeling very well that morning, and quite herself. It had been almost two weeks since she had become sick. She had slowly gotten better and today was feeling so much herself that she decided to get up and do something. She dressed herself quickly, (Beth could dress herself when she wanted to), and then had the maid put up her hair. She walked downstairs and crept into the dining room. Lady Catherine was not there.

    "Ah, Miss?" a nervous voice said behind her. Beth turned.

    "Yes, what is it?"

    "Lady Catherine is still quite unwell. She will not be down for at least another week. May I get you something to eat, Miss?" the servant asked.

    "Yes, please. I am quite hungry." Beth answered and sat down at the huge table.

    She ate a nice breakfast and then decided to send a note to Mrs. Darcy, asking when she could see her. This was the reply she received the next day:

    Dearest Beth,

    You cannot know how happy I was to receive your letter. I am glad you are feeling better, although I must confess that I had no knowledge of your being ill until you wrote me yesterday. If you can, I should like to invite you to our townhouse this evening at seven o'clock. I believe I gave you the address, and you must have it since you were able to reach me by letter. We shall look forward to seeing you,

    Elizabeth Rose Bennet

    Beth stared at the name for a few seconds. Elizabeth Rose Bennet...was there a connection between them? Had Elizabeth told Mrs. Darcy's father about her elder sister? Beth folded the letter, still pondering. She prepared herself for her visit and then left in the carriage.

    Elizabeth D. met her as she stepped out of the carriage at the Darcy's large townhouse. Beth was embraced in a warm hug, and led inside.

    "How are you feeling?" Elizabeth asked.

    "Very well, thank you." Beth answered as she and Elizabeth walked into the parlor where the rest of the family was assembled.

    They all rose from their seats and greeted her when she entered the room. Beth looked from one face to the other. Mr. Darcy was still good looking, even in his 40's. Richard Darcy must have looked exactly like his father had at his age, only he had blue eyes. JaneAnne Darcy was 12 years old and looked very much like Jane Bingley. Marianne Darcy was a curly headed, spunky five-year-old who wasted no time in asking Beth to sit beside her.

    Beth chatted pleasantly with the whole family for the rest of the evening. The two girls went to bed after eight o'clock but Richard stayed downstairs with their guest and his parents. Soon he and Mr. Darcy left the room to play a little pool together and to let the ladies talk. Beth was grateful for their leaving for a short while as she had wanted to ask Elizabeth about the diary.

    "Mrs. Darcy, I was wondering if I could ask you a question?" Beth asked.

    "Please, do."

    "Why is your middle name Rose?" Elizabeth blinked.

    "My middle name? Well, I - ah, don't really know. I think it was an acquaintance of my parents; someone whom they loved dearly." She stammered, very surprised at the question.

    "Oh, I was just wondering." Beth said, and let the subject drop.

    They talked of many different things that evening, but Beth made sure to keep away from the subject of Rose Julia Bennet. Perhaps Elizabeth had never heard of her.

    "Miss Bennet?" Mr. Darcy asked her before she took her leave. "We are going to an evening party, held by one of Elizabeth's relatives tomorrow evening. Will you accompany us? It is a very small party and all of them are very dear friends of hers. Even Richard, my son, will be going."

    "But I have not been invited." Beth said.

    "She told us that we may invite anyone whom we should wish to invite. The lady's name is Hall. You should come by tomorrow afternoon and we will take you there with us." Elizabeth explained. Then Beth got into the carriage and drove away.

    She was to go to an evening party the next day, at the residence of Mrs. Hall. How interesting.

    Chapter 11B

    Posted on Sunday, 14 November 1999

    Beth made sure her hair was perfect the next day and decided to wear Rose's pearls. She carefully put on the necklace and earrings and the opal pin. She felt a little funny wearing them, until she remembered that Elizabeth had wrote that anyone who read the diaries could wear them. She relaxed, then picked up the perfume bottle and inspected it. There was still a little bit at the bottom.

    'Could I wear some, and leave just a bit at the bottom so I could re-fill this?' Beth mused while opening the lid and using a drop of the stuff. She then put it back in the box and put it in its place under the bed.

    Beth glanced at the mirror and stopped to gape at herself. Where was Beth? She hadn't looked at herself seriously in a long time, not really in a year or so. Why had she changed so much? Beth wondered if she was pretty, but then decided she wasn't. Black hair wasn't the style, blonde hair was. She sighed and then, glancing at the clock in her room, realized it was time to go and hurried down stairs.

    The Darcys drove her to Mr. and Mrs. Hall's town house, which was in a nice part of town, even if it wasn't the richest part. They entered the house and Beth was introduced to everyone assembled; a Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner, who were a newly wed couple in their late twenties, all of the older Halls, Mr. and Mrs. Hall. That was all who were assembled, and with the Darcys it made a rather large party.

    They were talking pleasantly. Beth observed every person in the room carefully. They all looked like Elizabeth's side of the family, with dark hair and brown eyes. She felt out of place with raven black hair and blue eyes. Then she noticed again that Richard had blue eyes. She was interested in this. She knew he wasn't in any way related to Solodkov but she was fond of blue eyes now. She watched him for a little while when she became a little bored and found him to be very interesting, despite the fact that he was a year younger than herself. Was that what Rose had felt towards Solodkov when they first met? Beth mused, but decided it wasn't. She perhaps liked Richard, but did not love him.

    Beth grew tired of watching Richard, so she observed the room. It was a nice room, with big windows and a good view of a garden. She then turned in her seat a little and looked through the door by which they had entered. She saw a hall, nicely furnished, and a staircase. She suddenly noticed someone slowly coming down the stairway, leaning heavily on the banister.

    Beth watched as the figure came completely into view. It was a very old woman in a nice dress and beautiful shawl. Her snow-white hair was piled up on her head and was not covered by a customary cap. As she made it down the stairs and turned in the direction of the room where everyone was gathered, she stumbled.

    Beth rose from her seat and rushed to the woman's aid. She took her fragile arm and led her to the room. Beth looked at the woman. She was ancient. Her face was wrinkled but her cheeks were still rosy. The woman turned to her and said,

    "Thank you." Her voice was not shaky, it was still strong, and her sky blue eyes were still bright and happy. Beth decided that she was ageless.

    "You're welcome." Beth answered as Mrs. Hall stepped out of the room when she noticed her mother coming down the stairs.

    "Oh, Miss Beth, why didn't you tell us she was coming down. This way, Mother. Right this way." Mrs. Hall fussed. Her mother didn't seem to like her daughter's attempts at making her comfortable.

    "I can manage fine with this young lady, dear. Go back to your guests. I will be in shortly." The lady sat down in a chair in the hallway, still holding Beth's hand. Mrs. Hall nervously went back into the room. The old woman smiled.

    "They always try to pamper me." She said, "What is your name girl?"

    "My name is Beth Collins Bennet."

    "Ah, you're the eldest daughter of the man living at Longbourn, am I correct?" The woman asked, and Beth nodded.

    "Mrs. Hall is the old Mr. Bennet's cousin you know. She is my youngest daughter, I had her when I was in my forties." The woman smiled at the recollection. "Shall we go into the room now?" Beth helped her up and they entered the room.

    Everyone greeted the woman warmly, calling her either Grandma, Mother, or Great Aunt. Beth couldn't figure out who in the world she was, but she sat by her for the next half-hour. She discovered that the old woman, who she began calling Grandma, had a very good sense of humor and was very interesting to talk to.

    Later on in the evening Grandma looked at Beth very hard.

    "What's the matter, Grandma?" Beth asked, as the woman turned pale.

    She reached out her hand towards Beth but, instead of touching her face, she touched her earrings, then the necklace, and finally the opal pin.

    "Where did you get these?" the woman breathed.

    "What is your name?" Beth asked, her voice hardly above a whisper...she prayed for the answer Rose...

    "Elizabeth York. Mrs. York." She answered, still touching the pin.

    Beth almost fainted.

    Chapter 12A

    Posted on Monday, 15 November 1999

    "Mrs. York?" Beth gasped. Mrs. York nodded. "But - but ... you're still alive?"

    By this time, everyone one in the room had their eyes riveted on Beth and Mrs. York. Mrs. York's mouth twitched into a tiny smile.

    "May I speak with you in private Miss Beth?" She asked and they rose. "This way." Mrs. York led her into a room. "Now where did you get those jewels? "

    "I - I found them." Beth stammered.

    "Where?"

    "In Rose's box." Beth was very nervous. Mrs. York smiled.

    "So you found it?"

    "Yes ma'am." Beth answered. She was still shocked at the realization that this was the Elizabeth from Rose's diary.

    "I'm glad it was you who found it. Old Mr. Bennet found it too. He loved the story, and even named his second daughter after Rose. Dear Rose." Her eyes saddened as she looked at Beth. "It's nice that you are wearing the pearls. They've been put to good use."

    "I thought that it would be alright, since you wrote ..."

    "Now what did I write?" the old woman mused thoughtfully. "Oh yes, I remember! Anyone who discovers the fate of Rose may wear the pearls and opal. My, how long ago it was." Mrs. York studied her hands, remembering things of long ago.

    "Why is her name scratched out?" Mrs. York's eyes filled with tears, and she spoke as if in a dream.

    "Pappa was so unhappy when Rose ran away and married. Dear John, my husband, was heartbroken. Mamma cried for days. But Pappa was angry after a while. Then I gave him her letter. He burned it and blotted out her name almost the whole way. He left Rose in because he never could see very well, and I was glad that he didn't erase her whole name. At least I could see that she had been, and when I grew older that she really was. Some days I forget that she ever lived. But those weren't all of the jewels left in the box, oh no. I have a small locket with a drawing of her in it. It's very like her, and when I forget, I look at it." Beth looked at her hand which was clasping something near her heart.

    "You are wearing it." Beth breathed.

    "Yes. It's hanging there along with the picture of dear John. He got over her of course, and noticed me after a while. But it took a long time."

    "So she really did die?" Beth whispered.

    "Oh yes." Tears filled Mrs. York's sky blue eyes. "She died a long time ago in that wretched ship called the Saint something. I don't even remember now. It was so long ago."

    "Could she still be alive now if the ship hadn't crashed?"

    "Oh yes. Yes, the Bennet women always lived a very long time. If she had not married him she would be 81 now. I've never really forgiven her for leaving me alone. But I suppose that if she hadn't gone I never would have married dear John, and would never have been happy. When we go back into the parlor look around the room at my children and grandchildren. They would not be here if she had not gone. But I still miss her."

    She rose from her seat and looked at Beth for a little while. She sighed. "Well, I'm tired. I think I'll go back to my room and rest now. Will you help me up the stairs?" she asked Beth.

    "Of course." Beth rose from her seat and linked her arm in Mrs. York's to help her upstairs.

    They made it up the stairs and Beth was shown where to help Mrs. York to her room. As Beth helped her onto her rocking chair, she glanced around the room. It was beautiful. My things were on the dressing table, many baskets filled with knitting needles, yarn and projects were in the room. Yet everything was neat. Beth covered Mrs. York's knees with a quilt and gave her the knitting basket she asked for. This basket was filled with lace that she was making.

    "It's beautiful." Beth admired, and Mrs. York smiled.

    "Do you like the quilt?" she asked. Beth looked at it. It was very, very old and faded. It was a flower garden quilt and must have been beautiful once. Mrs. York laughed in a tinkling or silvery kind of way. "No one ever likes it nowadays. But once it was Rose's favorite quilt. She loved to show it to her friends and everyone admired it. She was so good at quilts and lace. I was also quite good and everyone loved our work. We did everything together except the quilt. She did it herself and finished it the day before her eighteenth birthday. I was so proud of her. And that birthday I gave her the journal. I knew she would like it because she had so much to say, such interesting thing to say and no one would listen to her. Rose was what people call 'high spirited'." Beth nodded. "It's a shame the quilt is so ugly and faded now. It was so bright and beautiful once."

    Mrs. York lowered her head and concentrated hard on the lace. Beth began to leave the room.

    "I will see you again, won't I?" Mrs. York called as Beth was about to shut the door behind her.

    "I would be so happy if I could see you again, Grandmother. Will you teach me how to quilt? My mother died when I was young and I don't remember much of the knitting and quilting she taught me. I only know how to embroider small pincushions."

    Mrs. York smiled. "Yes, Elizabeth Rose has told me about you. The Collins girl, the daughter of her best friend who died three years ago was it? Yes, if you come tomorrow at tea time I will teach you many things that you ought to have learned. It's shameful the way they are bringing children up these days!" Mrs. York said and then turned back to her lace.

    "Goodbye." Beth said.

    "Until tomorrow my dear!" Mrs. York called for the room as Beth started down the stairs.

    Mrs. York was very old, ancient, but she didn't seem it. She remembered things and was very special. Beth now understood what Rose had meant when she wrote:

    ...Elizabeth was so confidant and easy... She was always comfortable in society, and always knew what to say and when to say it...

    Elizabeth York was such a wonderful person, and Beth looked forward to talking to her more.

    Chapter 12B

    Posted on Wednesday, 17 November 1999

    "Beth!" She whirled around and looked at the face behind her.

    "Lady Catherine!" she exclaimed, surprised. Lady Catherine glared at her. Her hair was undone and lay on her shoulders. Her cap was crooked, but she looked very well. "You are up?"

    "Where have you been?" Lady Catherine demanded.

    "I was at an evening party hosted by Mrs. Hall and her family."

    "I see. The Halls are very respectable people." Lady Catherine said. "I am going to dress myself now," Beth saw that Lady Catherine was still in her nightgown and robe, "and then we shall discuss plans for the ball." She finished, and Beth curtsied and started to leave. "Meet me in the sitting room in two quarters of an hour."

    Beth nodded, curtsied, and went the rest of the way to her room where she would change into her white evening gown. Beth read a novel until the appointed time for her meeting with Lady Catherine and then she went to the sitting room.

    "You are two minutes late, Miss Elizabeth."

    "I beg your pardon, Lady Catherine, but the watch in my room said it was five minutes till our appointed time when I left my room and the clock on the mantle piece says -"

    "Don't be impertinent miss! Never mind what it says. It is slow. You are late, Miss Bennet. Now, sit here next to me and listen."

    Beth sat obediently, but resented the fact that Lady Catherine was being so nasty.

    "Your ball will be in two weeks." Lady Catherine stated.

    "Lady Catherine, can I not have it in a month?"

    "Do not contradict me."

    "I am not, ma'am. But after all, it is my ball. Besides, it will be Christmas in two weeks. It would not really be proper to have a ball at Christmas, considering the holiday." Beth ventured. Lady Catherine thought for a minute.

    "Very well. We shall have it after new year, on the seventh of January. That will suit us very well."

    "You mean that will suit me very well." Beth said and rising from her chair she exited the room, leaving a gaping Lady Catherine behind her.

    Three days later ...

    "Miss Bennet? This letter has just come for you."

    "For me, Lily?" Beth asked, taking the letter in astonishment. "Surely there must be some mistake." she said, but opened the letter which had an unfamiliar seal. "It is a letter from Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner, to invite me to a ball they will be holding this Friday! That's two days away." Beth raised her shining eyes from the paper. "The Gardiners were the nice couple I met at Mrs. Hall's. We talked a little and I liked Mrs. Gardiner. Oh Lily, I am so happy!"

    Lily smiled at her and then left the room. Beth sat down in a chair and read the invitation. She was sure it was not a large ball. It could not be, because as she was not 'out' yet it would be improper for her to be seen at a large ball in a public place. The letter said it wasn't really a ball, just a party of family and close friends with dancing and dinner.

    That evening at dinner Beth told Lady Catherine that she was invited to the Gardiners' for a party.

    "What are you thinking, child?" Beth stared at her plate. "I do not care if it is a small party or a large one. It would be alright if they were of a higher class, but not so. Miss Elizabeth, you are not to go to this party at the Gardiners. I happen to know that the Gardiners' are in trade." Lady Catherine finished.

    "I shall go, Lady Catherine. It does not matter if they are or aren't. They are very good people and I am invited. Besides, I have already written back and excepted their invitation. If I now refused it would be very rude and I cannot do that."

    Lady Catherine shifted in her seat uncomfortably. Then Beth rose from her seat and left the room. She knew she would be able to go.

    Chapter 13A

    Posted on Thursday, 18 November 1999

    Beth sank onto her bed and thought for a few minutes. Was it really her who had talked so impertinently and rather rudely to Lady Catherine? Beth shook her head. It was so unlike Beth to have stood up for herself! This obviously showed that she had her heart set on going to the party...or was it that a spark of the old Beth, the Beth before her mother had died, was showing again? Beth shook her head. She didn't really like the old, rebellious Beth, or the new one who never stood up for herself.

    The night of the party/ball...

    Beth had been correct in assuming that the ball was really more like a large party with friends. Beth was welcomed very warmly by the Gardiners, and by Elizabeth Darcy and her family, for Richard was also there. Beth chatted with the Darcys for a while until the dancing started. Then she was claimed for the first two dances by Richard Darcy! This caught Beth by surprise, although she welcomed the idea of being able to speak with Richard while they were dancing. He seemed a rather quiet person but it was clear that he enjoyed her company very much. Beth did not know how to react to such attention from someone so ... young as Richard.

    The rest of the evening was filled with many delights. Beth was introduced to many relations and family friends of the Gardiners, and of the Halls as well. Mrs. York was not present, however, and Beth could hardly hide her disappointment. She had paid the visit to her, and they had talked. Nothing of Rose, but about life and about quilts. Still, Beth enjoyed their conversations and had hoped to see her at the party that evening.

    When they had dined and the dancers were taking a break, someone proposed some music and a song. Beth was not asked to play as no one knew (except for Mrs. Darcy), that she knew how, and Elizabeth knew how it distressed her. Everyone was trying to decide who should play for them when a gentleman appeared in the room. He entered from the door leading to a library, where he had obviously been reading.

    "Ah, Peter!" Mr. Gardiner called to the man as he approached him, "Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce to you A. Peter Nether!" everyone greeted him, and he bowed.

    "Now Peter, where have you been all this time?" Mrs. Gardiner asked.

    "I have been in the library, ma'am. I prefer reading my book to dancing this evening. I am not feeling in a very jolly mood." Peter answered.

    "Ah yes, but I know how to cure that!" Mr. Gardiner said with a wink. "And you have to be in a jolly mood this evening as the dancing is not over and many of these pretty young ladies will want to dance with you my good man!"

    Peter smiled to himself and Mrs. Gardiner said, "While you were so busy reading a novel, we have been trying to decide who will play for us, and since you..."

    "No, no, Mrs. Gardiner!" the young man cried, waving his hands in a gesture meaning 'no'. "I'd better return to my book ..."

    "Peter, my friend, you must not deprive us the pleasure of hearing you!" Charles Bingley cried, (he had also been invited to the party along with his wife).

    "Mr. Bingley is quite right!" Mr. Gardiner said. "Peter here plays the violin exceptionally well!" Oh's and ah's rippled around the room. "And we would all be so obliged if you would play us a song."

    Peter tilted his head and threw his hands up in defeat. He was given a violin and began playing a beautiful song. Beth listened, enraptured. He played with great feeling and finished the piece without making any mistakes. Everyone applauded him with great appreciation. He was then allowed to sit down and let a young lady perform on the pianoforte. The only vacant seat the young man could find was next to Beth!

    He sat down and winked at her. Beth found this rather rude and Richard, who was sitting across from her, did not like it at all. The lady finished playing and Peter addressed Beth.

    "It is a lovely party, is it not, ma'am?"

    "Oh, yes! It is indeed!" Beth stammered.

    "You already know my name, so I would like to know yours. What is it?"

    "Her name is Beth Bennet, Peter. You know better then to speak directly to someone when you've not been properly introduced to each other!" Jane Bingley called to him from across the table and then turned her attention back to another group of people who were talking.

    "Oh, I beg your pardon Miss Bennet. But I thought it would be alright since Mr. Gardiner had already introduced me." he said. Beth tried to smile but failed. This was not lost on the young man and he said, "Do not be so solemn. I have apologized for my rude behavior."

    "I forgive you. What would you like to talk about? Why did you speak to me?" Beth asked rather coldly.

    The musicians began playing again and couples rose from their seats to dance.

    "Well now, I should like to ask for the next dance if you are not engaged."

    "No sir, I am not engaged."

    "Then will you do me the honor of dancing the next with me Miss Bennet?"

    Beth nodded in reply and he led her to the dance floor where the it was beginning. Richard Darcy watched them with hawk's eyes as they began dancing. Beth looked obviously nervous and uncomfortable, and Richard looked angry and... envious.

    Chapter 13B

    Posted on Sunday, 21 November 1999

    Beth didn't really know what to say to the man, Mr. Nether, dancing with her. She did however attempt a question:

    "What novel was it that you were reading, Mr. Nether?" she asked.

    He started, as if thinking deeply of something, and then replied, "A novel? What novel?"

    Beth was a little annoyed and thought this gentleman couldn't remain serious. "The novel you were reading before you came into the room."

    He laughed. "Mrs. Gardiner was mistaken. I was not reading a novel."

    "What was it you were reading, Mr. Nether?"

    "The Holy Bible."

    It was Beth's turn to laugh. "On the night of a party? You choose to read the Bible?" Peter did not see anything funny in this.

    "My family are very religious people."

    "I understand that because mine are as well, but most young people of my acquaintance never read the Bible while a party is going on."

    "Ah yes, but you do not know many young people as you are not 'out' yet. Am I correct in saying so, Miss Bennet?" Beth did not answer for a few moments, but then said he was correct.

    "Why would you read the Bible on a night like this, when many of your good friends are wishing you to make your appearance at their party?" Beth asked, trying to make conversation and all the while feeling rather stupid.

    "To be perfectly frank with you, I was mourning the lost of my grandfather. I usually read the Bible when I am thinking of someone dear to me who has departed. Besides, I enjoy the Bible."

    "If you are in mourning then how could you -"

    "Yes Miss Bennet, I know what you are thinking. But you see, my Grandfather died six years ago yesterday."

    "I am sorry." Beth said as the dance finished.

    "Yes, everyone always says they are sorry." He said as he quickly bowed and led her back to her seat. Instead of sitting down he left the room to go back into the library.

    "Well, how did you enjoy your dance?" Beth started a little as she saw Richard sitting next to her. She had been watching Peter's retreat into the library.

    "Oh, it was alright I suppose."

    "Everyone thinks highly of Mr. Nether, but I for one do not really have much passion for him. I consider him a rather odd foreigner."

    "He isn't from this country?"

    "Oh he is, but I believe he's had teaching abroad. He learned to play the violin in the Continent somewhere. He didn't learn it here, that's certain." Richard said, throwing a glance at the library door.

    "Why should you dislike him?" Beth challenged. Richard did not answer but asked her to dance with him again. Beth consented.

    The rest of the evening sped by quickly and by the time Beth gotten home, she was very tired. She could not decide on her opinion of Mr. Peter Nether, nor could she comprehend her feeling for Richard. It was now very clear to her that he admired her. She was, however, older than him, and was soon to come out. He had not finished Cambridge, or perhaps hadn't entered it yet, and was too young for her in many people's opinions. She finally fell asleep after a lot of tossing and turning on the matter.

    One Week Later ...

    "Good morning, Miss Bennet." Lily said as she opened the curtains and let sunlight stream through the windows and into the dark room. "Did you sleep well, Miss?"

    Beth sat up in bed and stretched.

    "Very well, I suppose. I am getting more and more nervous about my ball every day." Lily did not know what to say so she began fussing with Beth's hair as soon as she got out of bed and chatting about things to keep her mind off of the ball.

    "You remember that you are invited to tea with some of the Bingleys' friends this afternoon? And another letter has come from Mrs. Hall this morning. I suppose she'll invite you over to a party."

    "Wonderful. But I feel awkward going over their places these days, Lily. Mr. Nether is always there ..." Lily smiled.

    "You must not be afraid of him, Miss."

    "I am not afraid, but he does have a knack of making me feel uncomfortable and silly. Richard is always at the parties too, and he embarrasses me with all of his attentions." Lily fixed Beth's hair thoughtfully. "Lily?' Beth asked, turning in her seat to look at her.

    "Yes, miss?"

    "Have you ever been in love?" Beth asked, watching Lily's face closely. She blushed under Beth's gaze.

    "Yes, miss."

    "And what did you feel like? Was it wonderful, or horrid? Did you know that you were in love, or were you uncertain?" Lily shifted uncomfortably.

    "Oh - well it is not my place to say, miss."

    "But Lily," Beth took her hand, "You are the only friend of my age that I have. Can you not tell me as a friend what it was like?"

    "It is wonderful, miss." Lily looked at her feet and blushed.

    "Who is he?" Beth asked and smiled.

    "The gardener, miss."

    "Oh, that young, dashing young man!" Beth said. "Are you engaged?"

    "Well, miss, we don't have the money yet, but we will be married when we can." Lily said.

    "And it is wonderful?" Beth called to Lily as she exited the room.

    "Yes, miss. Wonderful." Lily closed the door behind her and Beth stared at herself in the mirror and talked to herself.

    "This must not be love then, because it has never been really wonderful." Beth told her reflection, thinking of Richard. "But then, I have not known him for very long." Beth frowned and made a face at herself in the mirror. She then remembered that Lady Catherine wished to speak to her about the arrangements of the ball again, and then she was due at the Bingleys' for tea, chatter, and more of Richard's attentions.

    That evening at the Bingleys'...

    "Is Richard not here this evening, Mrs. Darcy?" Beth asked as she greeted her and Mr. Darcy.

    "No, he is at home studying." Elizabeth watched carefully for Beth's reaction to this but, seeing no signs but a little disappointment, was not concerned for her.

    Beth was disappointed, but not as much as she had thought she would be. She chatted with the Bingleys, and enjoyed their company for the rest of the evening. She did not speak with Peter Nether at all that evening, except for a greeting, but she found that he often looked in her direction, as if wanting to talk to her again about books and music and Europe. These topics were not uninteresting, but he had so many things to tell, and Beth so few things to say that it seemed to make the conversation completely one-sided. There were no young people except for themselves, and so they both wished for a little more lively company. Beth, however, found his watching her unnerving, and was glad when she departed that evening.

    "Did you have a pleasant evening, miss?"

    "Rather, but there was no one my age to talk to."

    "You are seventeen now, am I correct, Miss?"

    "Yes, my birthday was last week." Beth said as she slipped into her nightgown and lay in the bed.

    "Good night, miss." Lily said and left the room.

    "Good night, Lily!" Beth called after her and rolled over in bed.

    Beth slept until about two o'clock in the morning. At that time she was awakened from a noise outside. It was a loud, wailing sound, and Beth could not tell if it was human or animal. She rose from her bed and looked out the window. The moon was full but clouds surrounded it like a blanket and it looked as if a ring of light circled it. Beth thought it looked haunting, and the sound of the wind howling outside her window gave her shivers up and down her spin. As she saw nothing out of the window, and the noise did not start again, she went back to bed and fell asleep.

    Chapter 14A

    Posted on Wednesday, 24 November 1999

    Beth walked in the garden the next day, breathing in the crisp, late December morning air. Beth walked fast, and was glad for a relief from the house if only for a short while.

    Beth stopped in her footsteps when she heard a sound coming from near the wall that surrounded Lady Catherine's town house. She walked towards the sound and searched around the area for what could have made it. She found nothing however, but was not satisfied with her search, as after a few minutes she heard the noise again! She hurried out of the garden and onto the sidewalk of the street. She walked around the wall near the garden when she saw what she had been searching for.

    A rough box was sitting on the street right next to the garden wall. Beth did not know why no one had moved it or paid attention to it. Perhaps that was because it was right next to a servant's door leading into the garden, and someone had thought it belonged to the gardener and he was going to pick it up. Beth knelt beside it and looked inside.

    "Oh!" she exclaimed when she saw a tiny, bedraggled kitten huddled in a corner. A piece of paper folded up was laid on the bottom box. She picked it up gingerly, for the paper was very dirty. Inside was scrawled a message in a childish or unlearned hand:

    Ples, the kity ned a hom

    Beth stuck the paper inside her pocket as she reached inside for the kitten. She scooped it into her arms. The kitten was shaking. Beth couldn't tell if it was from cold, or fright. She jumped when she heard a voice behind her saying:

    "Miss Bennet! What are you doing kneeling on the street with a scraggly kitten in your hands?"

    Beth whirled around to find herself face to face with Peter Nether's eyes dancing with mirth!

    "Oh - well, I was just...that is to say...I found it!" Beth stammered.

    "Miss Bennet, do you have any idea how to take care of a cat?" Peter challenged. Beth opened her mouth, and then paused. Peter grinned. "I thought not. Now, shall we go inside your house, or shall you come and pay a visit to the Inn where I'm staying across the street?"

    "I wouldn't be proper for me to -"

    "Visit my place unaccompanied, I forgot. So, lead the way." Peter's eyes twinkled at Beth's obvious discomfort.

    "But Lady Catherine will most likely disapprove."

    "Lady Catherine de Bourgh is not at home, miss. She left a few minutes ago, and you are lucky that she did not drive her carriage around this way." Peter explained. Beth reluctantly led him through the gate and announced his presence to the housekeeper.

    "I will not be here long ma'am." Peter said, "only Miss Bennet needs a little help seeing that the kitten she found on the street is well taken care of. I happen to be an expert on such matters..."

    The housekeeper let him in, and led them into the kitchen, where they would have easy excess to water. Peter and Beth cleaned the kitten up themselves, and then, after the kitten was wrapped up in towels and blankets, Beth saw Mr. Nether out of the house.

    "Be sure to feed it whenever it meows." Peter instructed her after stepping out of the house and lingering a few minutes on the doorsteps.

    "Goodbye, Mr. Nether." Beth said, wishing that he had left sooner.

    "Goodbye, Miss Bennet." He said and left.

    That evening...

    "Are you almost ready, Miss?" Lily asked Beth as she came in the room.

    "Ready for what?"

    "Mrs. Hall's party!"

    "Oh, another one!" Beth groaned, and instructed Lily to help her choose a pretty dress for her to wear.

    "Perhaps you shall see Mrs. York again, miss." Lily said.

    "Yes, that will be nice." Beth said, as she finished changing headed out of the door. "Watch the kitten for me, Lily." She said, and left.

    At the Hall's...

    Beth entered the parlor where friends were assembled. This was beginning to be very familiar. No one new was ever invited to her parties. The Darcy's were there; even Richard had been able to come. The Bingleys', the Gardiners'. All of the people she knew! This time however, Peter Nether was also at the party.

    Richard and Peter avoided each other constantly. Though neither of them confessed it they had a competition going on.

    "Miss Bennet?" Mrs. Hall approached Beth a few minutes after she arrived. "Dear Beth, would you be so kind as to help Mother downstairs? She wanted to come down this evening, but will have no one but you to help her on the stairs. She has been rather weak these past few days."

    "I should be very happy to help Mrs. York, ma'am. I'll go to her room now." Beth answered, and left the room with Richard's eyes keenly following hers.

    Beth knocked softly on Mrs. York's door. "May I enter?" she called softly.

    "Yes, come in dear Beth!" Mrs. York called cheerfully. "I am feeling rather well this evening, and should like to join the party. I hear a handsome young man has joined the party this evening."

    "Yes..." Beth said slowly.

    "And Richard is here as well?"

    "Yes."

    "I have great interest in seeing them both." Mrs. York said, her eyes twinkling as she smiled slyly at Beth, who would not meet her gaze as she took her arm and the walked slowly out of the room. "Tell me, what is this young man like?"

    "He is a great musician."

    "Is that all?" Mrs. York prodded, unsatisfied with her answer.

    "You will soon see him, Grandmother." Beth said and held Mrs. York's arm more firmly as they went down the steps.

    "Ah here you are, Mother!" Mrs. Hall cried when they entered the room. Everyone turned their heads in their direction. "Mother, you know everyone except for our great friend, Mr. A. Peter Nether."

    Peter approached them and bowed. Mrs. York looked dazed. The room was hot and stuffy from so many people in one space.

    "And what does the 'A' stand for?" Mrs. York asked, her eyes bright, but Beth wasn't sure if it was from excitement.

    "Alexander, after my grandfather, ma'am. But I have a cousin named that already, and so I am called Peter."

    "How interesting." Mrs. York said, and grasped Beth's arm more tightly. "I want to sit down. I am feeling very tired." Beth helped her into a seat, and then walked over to where Richard was sitting to talk to him.

    The evening dragged on rather slowly. Beth talked with Richard, but was very distracted by Mrs. York, who was looking badly and got worse as the evening progressed. Beth rose from her seat and advanced towards her after a while.

    "Come, Mrs. York I don't think this stuffy room is good for you - " Beth began.

    "Alex!" Mrs. York cried, grabbing Peter's arm, who was sitting next to her. "Solodkov! Where is Rose? I want Rose!" she cried and tears began raining down her cheeks.

    "I am not he! And what Rose?" Peter exclaimed, trying to escape from the old woman's clutching.

    "My sister! Oh, what have you done with her? Why did you take her away?"

    "Mrs. Rose Solodkov?" Mrs. York nodded with tears in her eyes. "But my grandmother is in Russia." Peter said.

    Beth cried out in astonishment and horror as Mrs. York gasped and collapsed onto the floor.

    Continued In Next Section

    © 1999 Copyright held by the author.