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Chapter 33 Posted on Monday, 10 January 2000
A few days after the ball, the residents of Netherfield were shocked when one of Lady Catherine's carriages pulled up to the front door. Wondering if it was another attack by the old battleaxe, Darcy, James, Belle and Leigh fell over themselves trying to reach the door. The sisters were successful at knocking the gentleman out of the way and burst outside. It took them a moment to recognize the lady descending from the carriage.
"ANNE!"
The sisters bounded down the stairs, tripped each other in their enthusiasm, and crashed into their cousin. All three girls started giggling as they lay on the ground. Darcy and James joined them at that moment.
"Oh no!" groaned Darcy. "Not another one!"
James looked at his cousin in some confusion. "What in the world do you mean, Darcy?"
Darcy grimaced, "Your sisters corrupted Anne while they were at Rosings. You think these two are bad? The three of them together are intolerable... OUCH!" Darcy hopped around, holding his shin.
James looked down at Anne, "Was that necessary?"
"From my viewpoint... YES!" Anne grinned impudently at her cousin. "Now help me up! This is not to be borne! I find your lack of manners intolerable! And I will not...!"
"Anne!" Belle yelled. "ANNE!"
"WHAT?"
"You sound just like your mother!"
"What? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" their unfortunate cousin wailed. "Anything but that!"
James helped Anne to her feet anyway. "May I ask why you are here?"
Anne dusted off her dress, "To escape the banshee... errrrrr... Mother. She has been insufferable ever since Cousin Darcy announced his engagement." She tuned to the sisters and said, "I know this is not what we planned but I had to take the first opportunity to run. No doubt she will disown me when she finds out the truth behind my disappearance."
"Oh?" said Leigh arching an eyebrow. "And what did you tell her originally?"
Anne grinned, "That I was eloping with Mr. Collins. It threw her into such a fit that she will not recover for a few weeks!"
Everyone tried not to laugh for it was a terrible thing Anne did to her mother. A chuckle escaped one of the party but it really wasn't funny. Not one bit! Really! It wasn't! So that's why Bingley and Caroline found Belle, Leigh, Anne, James, and Darcy doubled over in laughter.
"Oh dear," Leigh said wiping her eyes, "You do know that Mr. Collins is here with his wife. I wonder what our aunt will do when she finds him gone from Hunsford and you not at Rosings!"
That set the party of into another round of laughter with Bingley and Caroline still not understanding anything.
After Belle and Leigh recovered, they whisked Anne into the house, laughing and chatting happily.
As a result of the huge number of guests Netherfield, Belle, Leigh, and Anne agreed to share a room. Darcy had misgivings but held his tongue. He had good basis for his fears, for Anne had been let in on the master plan. But the girls put that aside for the moment. A more urgent situation was at hand. Col. Fitzwilliam would arrive with Georgiana in a few days and the sisters needed to prepare Anne for the gentleman's arrival. Materials for new dresses were chosen and fittings were scheduled. They taught Anne the piece they planned to sing at the wedding breakfast.
When Col. Fitzwilliam arrived with his young cousin, the first sight to greet him was Anne. He appeared smitten by her. Belle and Leigh looked on with satisfaction, as the two grew closer in the next few days. That out of the way, they turned to wedding preparations for they were to be bridesmaids along with Georgiana and Kitty at the weddings.
Bingley and Darcy's wedding day dawned cold and clear. Everything was in an uproar at Netherfield. The carriage that was to convey Belle, Leigh, and Georgiana to Longbourn was late. The sisters had hidden Bingley and Darcy's clothes, which their valets were frantically searching for. Hurst was drunk as usual and well on his way to being comatose. Anne had let the dogs out of their kennel and into the house. The howling, slobbering beasts ran rampant through the halls and a muddy one ruined Miss Bingley's dress when she jumped up to give her a wet, doggy kiss. Her (Miss Bingley and not the dog, though we feel more sympathy for it) shriek could be heard through the house. A wheel was broken on one of the carriages. Mrs. Hurst was having trouble with flatulence. James found his best boots filled with rotting cabbage (the work of the sisters? Naaaaaah). Harmon found his breeches flying from a tree branch and Caulder was tied to the bed when he awoke. While Col. Fitzwilliam was dressing, he noticed that his clothes had somehow shrunk overnight. The only ones not suffering besides Georgiana were Anne, Leigh, and Belle. Coincidence? We think not. But let the dear Readers be warned this was not Belle and Leigh's master plan.
Despite the chaos in the morning, the weddings took place without a hitch. The brides were suitably beautiful, the bridesmaids demure, and the bridegrooms... Well we know what they were thinking. Belle and Leigh managed to behave themselves through the ceremony and the breakfast. Finally, it was time for the girls' performance.
Belle stood and addressed the room, "I know this is a bit forward but Leigh, Anne, and I would like to play and sing to you all. We have been practicing a special song-our gift to the newlyweds." Noticing Darcy, James, and Col. Fitzwilliam's horrified faces, she added, "And for those of you who have been privileged to our umm... more unusual performances, we would like to assure you that this is nothing of the kind." She led the way to the piano with Anne and Leigh stationed on either side of her.
Yes, when you're feeling lost in the night
When you feel your world just ain't right
Call on me, I will be waiting
Count on me, I will be there
Anytime the times get to rough
Anytime your best ain't enough
I'll be the one to make it better
I'll be there to protect you, see you through
I'll be there, and there is nothing I won't doI will cross the ocean for you
I will go and bring you the moon
I will be your hero, your strength, anything you need
I will be the sun in your sky
I will light your way for all time, promise you
For you I willI will shield your heart from the rain
I won't let no harm come your way
Oh, these arms will be your shelter
No these arms won't let you down
If there is a mountain to move
I will move that mountain for youI'm here for you, I'm here forever
I will be your fortress, tall and strong
I'll keep you safe, I'll stand beside you right or wrongLay my life on the line, for you I will fight, oh
For you I will die, for every breath, with all my soul
Put your faith in me, put your faith in meI will cross the ocean for you
I will go and bring you the moon
I will be your hero, your strength, anything you need
I will be the sun in your sky
I will light your way for all time, promise you
For you I will **
Everyone was quiet for a moment but then they began to applaud enthusiastically. Anne blushed but was excited that her first performance had given such pleasure. Belle and Leigh took the praise modestly... well almost. It was then time for everyone to depart. Darcy and Elizabeth were to spend their wedding night in London. James had invited Harmon, Caulder, Col. Fitzwilliam, Anne, and Georgiana to stay at the townhouse with he and his sisters. This would give the Bingley's their much-needed privacy as the Hursts and Miss Bingley were traveling back to London also. It took several hours to actually depart from Netherfield as a result of several more pranks Belle, Leigh, and Anne had pulled.
Two days later, the three girls safely settled in the Ashton townhouse, decided to approach Col. Fitzwilliam and Georgiana with their master plan, dubbed Operation HairyLegs (The authors do not know the reason behind this name and would like to remain in ignorance).
After explaining Operation HairyLegs and the reason behind it, Belle looked at her cousins. "Well? Will you help us?"
Georgiana looked shocked. "Surely they do not deserve that!"
"Oh yes they do," Leigh said grimly. "Besides we are not about to let them gain the upper hand! So are you with us or not?"
Georgiana shrugged, "Why not?"
All four ladies looked at Col. Fitzwilliam. "Well?"
"Hmmmmm," the Colonel mused. "I don't know..."
"Please?" Anne said in a small voice. "Won't you do it for me, Fitzy?" She batted her eyelashes.
The Colonel grinned, "Anything for you, Anne! Besides I would like to get revenge on those gentlemen for some things they had done to me a few years back."
The three women cheered and danced around in circles. Now there was only one more person necessary for the scheme...
Col. Fitzwilliam interrupted their festivities and asked, "But won't they be expecting you ladies to do something?"
Anne grinned, "No because they already think we did."
"And that was?"
"You remember the wedding day?"
The Colonel stared at them. "You mean you three did all that?"
Leigh grinned sheepishly, "Not all of it. We weren't responsible for the broken carriage and Mrs. Hurst's problems."
The gentleman shook his head. "You always stick together, don't you?"
"Yes, we're like the Three Musketeers," replied Anne. "All for one!"
"One for all!" shrieked Leigh.
"I for myself!" said Belle, sticking her tongue out at the other two. (Sorry, I stole that from The Three Stooges. Yes I know I've seen too many episodes! What can I say? I love 'em! ~Col)
Anne and Leigh chased Belle out of the room, leaving their cousins to stare after them in wonder.
** For You I Will ~Monica
Chapter 34 Posted on Tuesday, 11 January 2000
After much talk among the conspirators, it was decided that Operation HairyLegs must be delayed until their return to Derbyshire. Belle and Leigh did have some compassion for Darcy. They thought it best to let him enjoy his honeymoon to the fullest. Of course this may not have been reason enough if they had not also surmised that the passage of time would lie to rest any suspicions that certain gentlemen may have. The sisters were forced to wait two months before James announced his intention of returning to Lockwood. They used the time in working out the small details of their scheme and bringing in the last accomplice to make it successful.
On the journey home, James made the mistake of placing Anne, Belle, and Leigh in the same carriage. He had declined the Darcys' offer of escorting one of the ladies home and was now thoroughly regretting it. The first hour was spent in trying to teach Anne to sew but resulted in frequent arguments on the best way to do a certain stitch or what color to use. The rest of the trip was spent either singing at the top of their voices or teasing James mercilessly.
It was a relief when the house finally came into view. Once the carriage stopped and the ladies handed out, they were too busy to cause any mischief. Two other carriages had followed them, one carrying the Darcys, Col. Fitzwilliam, and Georgiana. The other brought Caulder and Harmon. Only Georgiana and the Darcys would go on to Pemberley, the rest were a guest at Lockwood.
Once everyone was settled in, the days passed harmoniously. Belle, Leigh, and Anne were content to have their gentlemen near at hand and not a day passed that the residents of Pemberley and Lockwood did not visit each other. Elizabeth grew more comfortable in her role as Mistress of Pemberley and certain families of the neighborhood, whose good opinions were worth having, grew to accept her. It was at this time that talk of a ball began to circulate, as it often does when the neighborhood grows better acquainted. Such talk even reached the Lockwood drawing room.
"Why does everyone speak of having a ball but does not actually hold one?" Belle complained one evening. "It is extremely annoying! I get my hopes up, only to have them dashed again and again."
"It is quite a bit of work," replied Elizabeth. "Perhaps they do not want the trouble."
Belle muttered something positively rude under her breath about certain lazy ladies that she knew. If the room had heard her, they would have been shocked at her coarse language.
"Well," said James as he perused a newspaper, "if you want to dance so much, then why don't you give a ball yourself?"
Belle's eyes lit up, "Really? You wouldn't mind if we did?"
"Certainly not. It would give you ladies something to do besides complaining about it."
Belle, Leigh, and Anne squealed in excitement. They danced about the room, chattering enthusiastically.
"Are you sure about this, James?" Darcy said. "Do you really want to put up with the noise and bustle?
James shrugged, "Why not? It makes them happy?" He turned to Col. Fitzwilliam, Harmon, and Caulder, who were eyeing their fiancées with amusement. "How about it, lads? Are you up for some dancing?" The gentlemen mumbled something like a reply and went back to staring at the ladies. James grinned at Darcy, "Ah, love! It's wonderful how it turns reasonable people's brains into mush!"
"What?" James exclaimed the next morning at breakfast. "A what kind of ball?"
Leigh grinned, "A masquerade ball! Only with one rule, ladies must dress up as gentlemen and vice versa!"
"That's unheard of!"
"I know but Belle, Anne, and I want to do something different!"
"Well I would say different is an understatement." The ladies stared at him with pleading eyes and sorrowful faces. "Oh all right! If you must, you must!"
Anne smiled triumphantly and said, "Good! Now we must settle on the proper colors for you gentlemen." She stared thoughtfully at them. "James should wear dark green, Fitzy a light pink, Mr. Caulder yellow, and Mr. Harmon blue."
The gentlemen looked at each other. Harmon spoke up, "The things we do for love! I must inform you ladies that I cannot sew. I will not be responsible for my dress turning out to be a complete disaster!"
Belle stuck her tongue out at him, "Silly! Anne, Leigh, Elizabeth, Georgiana, and I will do that!"
James started to laugh, "How shall you ever get Darcy to agree to this?"
Belle looked at the other two women. "How indeed? We will just have to try tonight at dinner."
"No!" Darcy protested. "Absolutely not! It is entirely ridiculous!"
"But it will be so much fun!" replied Anne. "Besides, James, Fitzy, Mr. Caulder and Mr. Harmon agreed to it!"
Darcy stared at the gentlemen, who had the grace to blush.
Elizabeth spoke up, "I think it's a wonderful idea!"
"Not you too!" Darcy groaned.
"Please?" Elizabeth said. "For my sake, Fitzwilliam?" She looked up at him, lips trembling and tears in her eyes.
Darcy could not hold out against such an attack. His shoulders slumped in defeat. "Fine, I'll do it."
"Wonderful!" Belle said delightedly, clapping her hands. "Now remember to keep what you're wearing a secret! It is a masquerade after all!"
"Well it's not much of a secret if you ladies are making our costumes!" James said.
Belle frowned, "Hmmmmmmm... You're quite right. Well just keep within this group then. We can surprise everyone else. Tell no one else, not even your nearest and dearest."
"What if we do?" James inquired.
Belle glared at him, "I will personally see to it that the one who blabs eats raw beans and cabbage for a month."
Invitations were dispatched several days later. One was extended to the Bingleys and the Bennets, the rest were sent to certain families within the neighborhood. The preparations began in earnest. Everything was completed when the day of the ball arrived. The Bingleys and Bennets, having somehow mistaken the day of the ball, would just have time to stop at Pemberley to change out of their traveling clothes. Only Elizabeth was there to greet them as it had been agreed that everyone else would change into their costumes at Lockwood.
Belle, Leigh, and Anne knocked on the door to the gentlemen's changing room. "Is everything all right in there?" called Leigh.
Col. Fitzwilliam opened the door, dressed in a light pink gown and wearing a powdered wig. The girls began to giggle and then bowed. "Madam!" they said, "We are at your service!" Each lady wore gentleman's evening attire and a powdered wig.
Fitzy curtsied and said in a high, squeaky voice, "Oh you cads! You gentlemen are all alike!" In a normal voice he said, "Come on in, they're almost ready."
The women entered and had to repress their laughter. The gentlemen were dressed in gowns of various styles. Caulder was dressed in yellow, Harmon in blue, James in green, and Darcy... well it was hard to miss him since he had on a scarlet dress. They were still trying to apply their rouge correctly, adjust their wigs and certain errrrrrr... anatomically correct padding.
"I wonder," Belle whispered to Leigh, "is this how they invented breast implants?"
Leigh choked back a laugh and cleared her throat. "You gentlemen better hurry," Leigh warned. "People will start arriving any moment."
"Has Elizabeth arrived yet with the others?" Darcy inquired.
Leigh looked at Belle before replying, "Yes they have. They're umm waiting downstairs." Just then the sound of a carriage approaching could be heard. Leigh ran to the window and looked out. She grinned when she recognized the livery but turned back to the room with a serious face. "There's the first of them! You gentlemen finish dressing. Belle, Anne, Col. Fitzwilliam, and I will greet our guests." She walked out of the room with the others hot on her heels.
Once they gathered out in the hall and the door shut behind them, Belle grinned and said, "Right. Leigh was that Elizabeth and the others who just now pulled up?" Leigh confirmed this. "Perfect!" Belle exclaimed. "Now is everyone ready?" When they nodded she continued, "Ok, now let's make this quick. Be downstairs in five minutes." With that they separated, running in several different directions.
Darcy looked out the window. It was unusually dark out front; someone must have forgotten the torches. He saw different carriages pull up but could not distinguish anything beyond their general shape. Turning back towards the other gentlemen he said, "This is absolutely ridiculous. I feel like a complete idiot!"
Harmon nodded his head in agreement, "Yes but it is for the ladies!"
"I know," Darcy sighed. "Well, are we ready ladies?"
"Yes!" a chorus of pseudo-feminine voices chorused.
After exiting the room, they linked arms and walked to the top of the stairs.
"I think my petticoat is twisted!" Caulder whined as he tried to adjust himself.
James groaned, "These shoes pinch my toes!"
Darcy looked down at his chest, "My padding itches!"
"Well my corset is too tight!" Harmon sniveled. "I cannot breathe!"
Voices and laughter could be heard below. Assuming an air of grace and dignity, they descended. After the darkness of the hall, the light below blinded them for several moments. The hall, which was ringing with talk and laughter, fell deathly quiet. One lady let out a shriek before fainting. As the gentlemen's eyes adjusted to the light, they looked around in complete shock. Where were everybody's...?
A "HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!" came from the direction of Mr. Bennet. The guests looked over to see the man howling with laughter. Tears streamed down his face.
"Gentlemen!" Belle gasped. She quickly walked over to them, her gown sweeping along the floor. "What in heaven's name are you wearing?"
Darcy stared at her and at the crowd. "But... but... You said this was to be a masquerade ball!"
"I said no such thing!" Belle looked out at the normally dressed people and then turned to Leigh. "I didn't say anything like that, did I?"
Leigh grinned wickedly at the four gentlemen before assuming a confused expression, "Of course not! That was not what was on the invitations we sent out! Right Anne?"
"I should hope not!" she replied. "I made those myself!"
James spluttered, "You... we... What invitations?"
Col. Fitzwilliam, dressed in gentleman's attired walked over and held one out. "These invitations!" he smirked.
Caulder took a hold of it and read aloud:
You are cordially invited to a ball at Lockwood Manor
On March 16, 18__
We look forward to your attendance.
"That's strange," Bingley mused, "We were told the ball was to be held on a different day. The Bennets, Jane, and I thought we were coming early so imagine our surprise to find it to be this very day!"
"Oh! I do apologize, Mr. Bingley!" Anne said. "I do not know how such a thing could have happened."
Harmon stared at her and then mumbled, "I think I know how." He glared at Belle and Leigh, who smiled angelically.
"I think you gentlemen had better go and change, if you would like to join us." Belle said tartly. She arched an eyebrow, "Unless of course you would prefer to stay that way."
The four gentlemen flushed before fleeing up the stairs. They tripped and fell over their trains until one of them had the bright idea of lifting up his skirts, thereby showing off his hairy legs. Belle, Leigh, and Anne congratulated each other. They then quietly thanked Fitzy, Georgiana, and the unnamed person-Elizabeth-for all their help. Operation HairyLegs was a complete success.
Authors' note: Ahhhhhh... real-life Ken dolls... Reminds us of our childhoods. My personal favorite was Ken in a wedding dress and Tabbi's was... what? Oh ok... It's Barbie with a rope around her neck. We hope you enjoyed this little interlude... MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Chapter 35
Authors' note: This chapter came as a complete surprise to us. We were going to end it with this chapter but a brilliant new idea formed in our nuggets. This and the next chapter tend to be more serious than any previous chapters. Don't worry, Belle and Leigh will soon get over their sanity! ;-)
The next morning, Belle, Leigh, and Anne bounced happily down the stairs, chattering and giggling. As the Pemberley party had been shown into the breakfast room a half-hour earlier, the girls were the last ones in. When they entered the room, they were met with complete silence. James, Darcy, Caulder, and Harmon glared at them, while the rest were trying to suppress grins. The sisters smiled sweetly and seated themselves.
Everyone ate in silence until Leigh spoke up. "I hope everybody had a wonderful time. I certainly enjoyed myself." Caulder glared at her but she only smirked.
"Oh yes!" exclaimed Belle. "It all went just as we had planned!" She turned to Harmon and said, "Don't you think so Edward?"
Harmon choked on his food and stared at his beloved fiancée. "You... I..." he stammered as his face turned an interesting shade of red. "Excuse me, please." He threw down his napkin and left the room.
"How rude!" Belle gasped.
"Fine man you have there, Belle!" Leigh smirked.
"I think you owe Harmon and us an apology!" James said heatedly to his sisters.
Leigh stood up, her eyes flashing. "We owe you an apology? HA! AS IF!" James was taken aback at her vehemence. "After what you pulled? I don't think so dear brother!"
"At least we only humiliated you!" Belle shouted. "You played with our emotions!" "But..." Darcy began before she interrupted him. "And you, cousin, should know better than that! After what you and Elizabeth went through!" Her voice rose another octave; "DO YOU KNOW HOW MISERABLE WE WERE? DO YOU?" Darcy flinched.
"We only mean it as a lark, ladies," James protested weakly. "You didn't seem too upset by it then!"
"A LARK!" Leigh shrieked. "A LARK? RIPPING SOMEONE'S HEART OUT IS NOT A JOKE!" She drew herself up to her full height and glared at James. "You, sir, are no gentleman!" she said in a deathly quiet voice. She dumped the contents of James's plate on his head before storming from the room.
It was quiet for several minutes until Caulder said softly, "Maybe I should go speak to her..."
Belle rounded on him and stared until he turned purple. "I would not suggest that, sir. You are the last person she would wish to see right now!" She glared at the other two also. "And should you even think of retaliation, gentlemen, Leigh and I will make you wish you had never been born. Last night's event was only a fraction of what we are capable of!" She glowered at them before stalking regally out of the room.
Leigh flopped on Belle's bed. "Well? What are we going to do now?"
"I don't know," Belle said, frowning. "We can't stay up here all day."
"I didn't mean that!" Leigh said in exasperation. "I meant about our engagements!"
"Well why didn't you say so in the first place!"
"I just did!"
"You...!" Belle glared at her sister and then sighed. "No, it will do us no good to fight now. Well what about our engagements?"
"Do we break them or not? I mean Ethan and Edward are angry with us but it's their fault this whole thing happened! Apologize to them! Not in this lifetime! I'm wondering if we were in our right minds when we accepted that sorry excuse for a proposal!"
"Leigh, when were we ever in our right minds?" Belle smiled. In a more serious voice she said, "You have a point though. And it's not just that. Were we right in accepting them, when we don't even know if we're going back to our time?"
"True," Leigh agreed. "But how could we tell them no, without them hating us forever?"
Belle's shoulders sagged, "It'd break my heart, but if we could get back home..." Here she was interrupted by a knock at the door. "Who is it?" she called.
"Elizabeth. May I come in?'
"Of course."
The door opened and the lady walked in. "Belle, Leigh, are you ever going to come down?"
Leigh stared at the ground angrily before replying; "I do not think so, Elizabeth. If I see any of those four again today, I cannot vouch for my temper."
"I can understand why you ladies are angry. It was a terrible thing they did to you but..."
Belle interrupted her, "Please Elizabeth, do not make excuses for them. Leigh and I are fed up with all of them. We are thinking of breaking our engagements."
Elizabeth's eyes widened in surprise. "You would..?" She sat down next to the girls, concern etched all over her features. "Belle, Leigh, please listen to me. I know you love Mr. Harmon and Mr. Caulder and they love you; anyone can see it when you are together. Yes that proposal was very thoughtless of them but is it unforgivable? You ladies have something special, do not throw it away on one quarrel." When neither sister looked at her, she added, "Please think on what I have said." She stood up and quietly left the room.
Belle and Leigh looked at each other with tears in their eyes. "We may not have a choice," Belle whispered sorrowfully.
After spending a couple of days confined in their rooms, Belle and Leigh were finally driven outdoors by overwhelming boredom. The girls took advantage of the sunny weather to go riding. The sisters wandered about the country until the early evening. They were following the road home, when they noticed a carriage approaching.
It stopped next to them and to their surprise, Anne's head appeared at the window. After letting down the side glass she grinned. "Well met cousins!"
"Anne!" cried Leigh, "Where are you going? You are not leaving us!"
Anne's grin grew even wider as she said; "Yes I am afraid I am! And you will never guess why and who with!"
Belle groaned, "Just spit it out Anne!"
"I am eloping with Col. Fitzwilliam! Dear Richard and I are on our way to Gretna Green!" At this, Col. Fitzwilliam stuck appeared at the window to greet the sisters.
"Anne, that's wonderful!" Leigh cried.
"Oh yes!" Belle agreed, "We wish you all the best!"
The congratulations went on for a while longer until it was time for the couple to continue their journey. Belle and Leigh decided to ride with them for several more miles before saying good-bye. It was dusk before the girls finally headed home.
"I didn't realize how dark it was!" Belle exclaimed.
"Yes and James will be out looking for us soon," said Leigh. "We better get home quickly."
Both sisters took off towards Lockwood at a gallop.
On the road to Lockwood, a mile ahead of the Ashton sisters...
The rider hunched over in his saddle, chilled by the night air. He fumbled for his flask and took a long drink. The brandy, stolen off of some unfortunate traveler, warmed him while the dirty rags that covered his body could not. He belched and cursed the traveler, who had been too short for his clothes to do the rider much good. At least the man had a good horse, the rider thought to himself.
He had traveled for months after escaping from the colony, working for his passage over the rough seas, and making his way slowly to northern England. He headed for his destination filled with a murderous rage. Soon, he thought, soon I shall have my revenge. I will make those two wenches sorry they ever heard of George Wickham.
Chapter 36
Authors' note: Tabbi and I decided not to leave you all hanging for too long so here it is! We're getting close to the end though--only about 2 more chapters left. Warning: This chapter contains violence!
It rapidly grew darker as Belle and Leigh raced towards Lockwood Manor. The sisters had not realized how far out they had traveled until it was fully dark and they were still not home.
Belle finally reigned in her horse and said, "Leigh, I think we had better slow down. We cannot go galloping blindly through the dark, one of us or the horses will get hurt."
Leigh nodded. "You're right of course." She looked up at the sky and said, "I had forgotten how dark it is in the country. At least the moon will give us some light."
The girls slowed the horses to a walk and rode more carefully down the road. The landscape around them looked eerie in the moonlight but they began to recognize certain features of the landscape.
"I don't think we're far from Pemberley," Belle said. "James will certainly be looking for us by now."
They rode on in silence. Clouds moved in, partially obscuring the moon. Skeletal trees loomed over them, motionless in the dark. The air grew colder with every minute and the sisters were soon shivering.
Belle suddenly sat up straight, peering into the darkness. Leigh looked at her in surprise. "What is it Belle? What's wrong?"
"I think there is someone ahead of us," Belle replied.
"Where?" Leigh said while squinting. "I don't see anyone." A break in the clouds allowed the moon to shine dimly and revealed the rider ahead. "Oh! I see him now! Do you think it's James?"
Belle shrugged, "Or one of other gentlemen, yes. Who else would be out at this time of night?"
"Let's call him. You do it though; you're the loudest."
Belle glared at her sister before taking a deep breath. "HEY!" she shouted. "WE'RE OVER HERE!"
The rider twisted around in his saddle at Belle's shout. He turned his horse around and rode slowly towards the sisters. A ghostly chuckle echoed through the woods. The moon had gone behind the clouds again; therefore the sisters could not see him until he was several feet away.
"Well, well ladies," he said. "So nice to meet you again."
Belle drew in a sharp breath. "Wickham!"
Wickham smiled cruelly, "Ah, so nice of you to remember! I have come back for vengeance ladies. I must say you were very thoughtful to be out here alone. It saves me a world of trouble."
"Who says we're out here alone?" Leigh said glancing at her sister. "For all you know, our brother is right behind us!"
"I think not," Wickham sneered. "I am not that stupid. It is obvious that you thought I was a rescuer or else why call out to me? No, you ladies are here alone, helpless and at my mercy."
"Who said we were helpless?" Leigh said calmly. "I'll show you helpless!" While Wickham was busy gloating, she had discreetly removed a shoe. It was this object she now threw with accurate aim, hitting the villain in the eye. Wickham howled in pain and the girls took off at a gallop.
"To Pemberley!" Leigh cried. "It's our only chance!"
The girls plunged into the woods at a dead run. The moon appeared from behind the clouds, lighting their way. They dared not slow down or stop for they heard shouts and curses behind them. Wickham was giving chase. The girls rode on heedless of their surroundings. The yelling had stopped but they knew the monster was out there somewhere. Suddenly Wickham appeared beside Leigh and pulled her off her horse. She screamed and struggled, causing Wickham to fall of his horse and both to land on the ground. He pulled out a pistol and they both struggled for control.
"LEIGH!" Belle screamed. She flew off her horse and jumped on Wickham, punching and kicking. "GET OFF HER NOW, YOU @#$%&$#!" The sisters had almost gained the upper hand when the rogue was able to strike Belle in the head with his pistol. She stumbled forward and tripped on a dead branch. She fell, crashing into Wickham and knocking the pistol from his hand. She lay on the ground, stunned, pain overwhelming every thought.
"BELLE!"
Leigh's scream brought her back to the present. Wickham had her sister by the throat now. Belle shook off her dizziness as best she could and the glint of the pistol caught her eye. She crawled towards it. Wickham had his back towards her for he had no longer considered her a threat. She smiled grimly as she grabbed the pistol and stood up. Never turn your back on an enemy, she thought. Belle aimed the weapon directly at Wickham. The struggle made it impossible for her to get a shot off without hurting Leigh, so she tried for surprise. "Let her go, Wickham, or I'll shoot!"
Wickham froze then relaxed. "You wouldn't!" he sneered. "A woman? HA! I bet you do not even know how to use a pistol!"
Belle cocked the hammer and said, "Care to place a wager?"
Wickham's eyes widened in shock. The girl indeed held the weapon like she knew how to use it. He glanced around quickly and considered his options. Fast as lightening, he pulled Leigh in front of him and placed a knife at her throat. "Drop the pistol, or I'll kill her" he hissed.
"How long have we been out here, James?" Darcy asked.
"I don't know. A hour or two maybe."
"I hope Belle and Leigh are all right. I can't help but feel responsible for this, James. If we hadn't play that trick on them at Netherfield, they would be safely at home now."
James shifted in his saddle. "I know. But the girls did not have to run off and sulk either, Darcy."
"Do you think they went with Anne and Fitzwilliam to Gretna Green?"
"No. They only have their horses and no money. Besides I think they would have let us know somehow."
A noise off to their left caught the gentlemen's attention. Soon Harmon and Caulder materialized from the darkness.
"Any sign of them?" asked James.
Caulder shook his head, "No, nothing." His features were heavy with worry. "Have they run off before?"
James and Darcy exchanged glances. "Once before," James said. "It was over a year ago. They disappeared from their rooms one night and somehow managed to make it almost to Pemberley. It was strange. Belle claimed Leigh was sleepwalking and had followed her..."
He was interrupted by a piercing scream.
Harmon paled, horror spread over his face. "That sounded like Belle!"
Another shriek echoed through the woods. The gentlemen spurred their horses into a gallop and raced towards the screams.
"I said drop it, or she dies!" Wickham growled.
Belle stood with the pistol still aimed at him, unsure of what to do. Darkness began to crowd the edges of her vision. She could feel the blood from the cut running down her forehead. Something had to be done before she collapsed.
Leigh felt the cold edge of the blade against her throat and fought down a wave of fear. Now was not the time. She could see her sister swaying slightly; that blow to the head must have been hard. She caught Belle's eye and mouthed, "Wait for it." Belle nodded. Now if there was some way she could catch Wickham off-guard...
"BELLE! LEIGH! WHERE ARE YOU?"
Wickham turned automatically towards the shouting, relaxing his grip slightly. It was just enough. She elbowed him in the stomach and stomped her heel down his shin and onto his instep. Wickham yelped with pain and anger. Leigh pulled out of his grasp, the knife cutting a fine line along her neck and arm.
"Why you...!" Wickham snarled, eyes flashing. He raised the knife and lunged towards Leigh.
A shot rang through the woods. Wickham's body jerked in mid-lunge and he collapsed in a heap. Leigh took one look and then ran towards Belle, who was beginning to sink towards the ground. "Belle, no!" Leigh grabbed her sister and supported her. Both women trembled with fear, anger, and exhaustion.
Belle stared at Wickham in disbelief. "I... I... I've never shot anyone before... Is he dead?"
"I think so," Leigh replied as she stared at the growing pool of blood.
The sound of pounding hooves startled the girls out of their daze. Belle turned towards the approaching horsemen and yelled, "Stop or I'll shoot!"
"Belle! Leigh!" Harmon called. "It is only us!"
"Edward?" Belle whispered. She let the pistol drop to the ground. Both sisters sagged with relief.
The gentlemen rushed towards the women, interrupting each other with questions. What had happened? Where had they been? What was that a gunshot? Were they all right?
"Leigh! You're hurt!"
"Yes James. Just a cut. It's not bad. If you would lend me your cravat, I can tie it up until we get home." Leigh took his hastily offered cravat and ripped in half. She tied one piece around her arm and used the other to dab at her neck.
Darcy noticed the body lying on the ground. He walked towards it and flipped it onto its back. "Wickham!" he hissed. "What is he doing here?" Darcy pulled his hands back quickly when he realized they were covered in blood. He looked up at the sisters. "Who... Who shot him?"
Belle, who was now fighting to stay conscious, managed to say, "I... It was me..."
Leigh looked at her sister, now fully concerned. "Belle, what's wrong?"
Belle looked at all the concerned faces that surrounded her. She opened her mouth to answer but found it took too much effort. Her head was pounding. All she wanted was to sink into that quiet darkness that pulled at her. She felt herself beginning to sink. A voice cut through the stillness. "Belle! No! You must stay awake!"
Belle was aware that she no longer was supporting her own weight. Voices filled with concern, intruded in on her consciousness. "Happened?... Wickham... hit in the head... could be a concussion... Pemberley... doctor..." She felt herself lifted onto a horse; strong arms encircled her. Every jolt of the horse went through her, making her head pound worse. Belle was dimly aware of the others. Leigh rode with Caulder; James rode beside her horse, constantly talking to her. Darcy had left them several minutes earlier to fetch a doctor. She leaned back against Harmon who held her even tighter.
"Don't worry, dearest," he whispered into her ear. "We will get you help soon."
It seemed like an eternity before Pemberley loomed ahead. Belle was rushed up to her room. Darcy and the doctor appeared soon after. She heard very little of what the doctor said to the others and finally slipped into unconsciousness.
Chapter 37
Leigh restlessly wandered about the room. The doctor had left hours ago and had recommended rest. She would have slept except that her neck and arm stung with pain. Besides, how could she sleep when her sister was still unconscious? Leigh walked over to the bed and stared down at the still form. In the firelight, Belle looked pale as marble, her dark hair emphasizing the lack of color. I'm glad the Bennets and Bingleys left this morning, she mused, and I can just hear Mrs. Bennet now-shrieking and screaming like a banshee. Though I wish Jane and Charles could have stayed. My arm is killing me... I need a drink! Leigh reached out and straightened Belle's sheets before turning to the door. Once she was in the hall, the sound of voices floated up from below. She frowned, I thought everyone had gone to bed. She descended the stairs and followed the sounds until she reached the library. She stopped outside the door. Darcy, James, Caulder, and Harmon were all seated in the room, drinking brandy and talking over the evening's events.
James caught sight of his sister and exclaimed, "Leigh! I thought you would be asleep right now!"
"I can't sleep," Leigh replied. She began to walk into the library but stumbled and crashed into the door frame, bumping her bad arm. "Ouch!" She let out a string of curses much too horrible to be repeated here. She commented eloquently on Wickham and the doctor's birth, choice of bed partners ("Sheep," Leigh muttered. "Ba-a-a-ah") and their cleaning habits. Still swearing, she rubbed her arm and looked up at the now shocked gentlemen. Stopping in mid-curse she glared at them. "What?" she demanded irritably.
"I... You... I didn't know that you knew what half those words meant!" James said with a pale face.
Leigh rolled her eyes and mumbled, "I bet I know more than you do, s***head!"
"What did you say, Leigh?"
"Umm... nothing, brother, nothing at all."
Once Leigh settled in a chair, the gentlemen begged her for the full story. At first she played dumb just to irritate them but soon gave in. She started with the fight at breakfast two days ago and then moved to the conversation she and Belle had just after that.
"You what?" Caulder exclaimed when Leigh confessed that she and Belle had considered breaking their engagements.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Harmon howled. He would have gone directly up to Belle's room if James and Darcy had not restrained him.
"Now Ethan," Leigh said calmly, "we only..."
But Caulder had already exploded from his seat and ran to her side. "Dearest Leigh, please reconsider! I am truly sorry for all that has happened. I love you dearly! You are everything to me!" He took her hand and tears streamed down his face. "I know I was horrible. I know I don't deserve you. But please, please do not break my heart..."
Leigh, who had been trying to stop his babbling, finally put her hand over his mouth. "Shut up, Ethan! Let me finish!" When she was sure Caulder would stay quiet, Leigh continued to speak, "Now, let's get something clear. I have not broken our engagement, Ethan, and I'm not going to." She smiled at him, "I was angry when I said that. I realize now that it would be impossible for me to do so because I love you." Caulder leaped up, gave out a huge "WHOO HOO!" and danced around the room. When the others finally calmed him down, Leigh told them the rest of the story. By the time she was done, her knife wounds throbbed and her head ached. She stood and walked over to the table by Darcy. Grabbing the bottle of brandy there, she poured herself a glass and downed it in one gulp. She poured herself a second and swallowed that just as quickly. The gentlemen gaped at her. "You guys have a problem?" she said, daring them to question her.
"Uh, no." Darcy mumbled. "I was just thinking about propriety..."
As Leigh had not eaten all day, the alcohol went straight to her head. "Propriety-shmiety! Propriety can go suck a lemon for all I care! You too, for that matter Cousin Darthy!"
"Uh, Leigh, I suggest that you retire now," James said gently.
Leigh blinked at him owlishly. "Whatever for? I wash just having soooome funs!" She burped then hiccuped.
James thought quickly and said, "Well you wouldn't want to miss the Whiskey Fairy, now would you? He only comes when you're asleep!"
Leigh's eyes lit up drunkenly, "Oooooooooooooooooooh! I shee! Yesh, I shall retires my car! Nighty nights, me lads!" She ran out of the room making car noises, "VRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOM! BEEP-BEEP! HONK! SCRRRRRRRREEEEECH! BANG! HEY WATCH OUT YOU BRAZEN HUSSY! OH YEAH? WELL YOUR MAMA!"
The gentlemen looked at each other, confusion written all over their faces.
"What was that all about?" Harmon asked.
James shook his head and said, "I don't know. What is a car?"
Darcy looked at Caulder, eyebrows raised. "You still want to marry her, old man?"
Caulder grinned and said, "Oh my, yes!"
A buzzing assaulted Belle's ears, quiet as if it were in the distance. Eventually the sound became more distinct. Strange... It sounds like an airplane... But there aren't any airplanes here... Belle's eyes fluttered open and she was momentarily blinded by morning light. Her head throbbed as if a herd of cows stampeded through it. Slowly, comprehension returned. She was in a room in Pemberley, one she had occupied at an earlier visit. Leigh was at the other end of the room playing with a paper airplane.
"Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer! Bang! Bang! Eh-eh-eh-e-eh-eh-eeeeh!" She twirled around making explosion sounds. "HA HA! Die ye bloody sea hag! AH-HA-HA-HAHAHAHAHA!" She blew a raspberry as she smashed the paper airplane into the wall. She stared at the wall (this lasted about 10 minutes) until Belle was able to call her.
"Leigh? Leigh! What are you doing?"
Leigh turned and looked dumbly at her sister. She blinked several times and then grinned. "BELLE! YOU'RE AWAKE!" She ran to the door and screamed out into the hall, "BELLE'S AWAKE! SHE'S UP! GET YOUR BEHINDS IN HERE YOU WORTHLESS LUMPS OF HUMAN FLESH!" The Leigh turned and leaped onto Belle's bed. "HI-HI-HI-HI! YOU'RE AWAKE! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! HOW ARE YOU FEELING?"
"A lot better if only you'd QUIT YOUR BLOODY SCREAMING!" Belle shrieked. The pounding in her head intensified. "Ooooooooooooooooooooooooh... My aching nugget! What happened?"
Leigh bounced up and down on the bed, annoying as usual. "You passed out," she smirked. "Wuss!"
Belle glared at her and kicked her off the bed. Before it could turn into a full-fledged war, Harmon raced into the room and kneeled beside the bed. "Belle! You're awake!"
Belle rolled her eyes, "Yes so I have been informed numerous times!"
Harmon ignored this and kept chattering. "I was so worried about you! It's entirely my fault, dearest Belle! Will you ever forgive me? Don't break our engagement! Please say you won't! I love you more than life itself! Please, please, please say you will forgive me?" The others rushed in at that exact moment to witness such a tender scene
Belle had a difficult time keeping a straight face as Leigh stood behind the gentleman, making gagging motions. "Edward, please stop babbling. Of course I'm going to marry you!"
Harmon switched from apologizing profusely to expounding on his happiness profusely. His love knew no bounds. Leigh made retching sounds at every declaration of love and pretended to strangle herself. Caulder stared at his fiancée strangely. A sly smile crept across his face. Caulder collapsed on his knees in front of Leigh, both hands pressed to his heart. "Oh my lady love! My dove! You are the sun in my sky; the air I breathe! You are as angel, flitting through my quivering heart!" Leigh's face looked disgusted, like she had just stepped into a pile of road apples. Belle rolled on the bed, howling with laughter. "Ha-ouch-hahaha-ouch my head! Hahahahahaha!"
Leigh stuck her tongue out at Belle, grabbed Caulder's hand, and barged from the room.
Chapter 38
Belle was up and about the next day, against the advice of the doctor. James, Darcy, and Harmon had tried to reason with her but she was adamant.
"Belle, please! The doctor gave strict orders for you to stay in bed another three days!" Harmon pleaded.
Belle crossed her arms and retorted, "Yeah, well the doctor can shove his orders where the sun don't shine!"
Darcy sighed, "Belle, it is for your own good..."
Belle snorted derisively. "For my own good? 'HA!' I say, 'HA!' I know d**n well what's good for me and what isn't! And laying in that bed all day isn't good because drives me UP THE WALL!"
"Now Belle," James said in his most determined manner, "don't make me order you..."
Belle's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Order me? Order me!" she shrieked. "WHY DON'T YOU ORDER THIS?" She picked up several books from the nightstand and flung them accurately at the gentlemen. When they were properly cowed into submission, she said, "Now, I am going downstairs. If any of you try to stop me, you have to deal with this!" She shook her fist at them. She then whirled around and stormed out of the room.
"What a wonderful woman!" Harmon said with a dreamy smile on his face.
Darcy stared at him. "I would not necessarily say wonderful. Insane maybe but not wonderful."
"I heard that!" Belle yelled from the hall. "Don't make me come back in there!"
Darcy's face paled with fear. "No, Cousin! Sorry, Cousin!" he said meekly.
"That's better!"
Belle and Leigh came down late in the morning several days later, only to find the gentlemen had left the house already. A servant informed the sisters, that the men had gone into Lambton and would be back in an hour or so. They thanked him as he left and grinned at each other.
"Well, well, well!" Leigh said, "A few hours out from under the eye of society! What shall we do first?"
Belle's stomach growled loudly. She grimaced and said, "Eat!"
The sisters raced into the breakfast parlor where their was promptly brought in. The only sounds heard in the next half-hour were "SLURP! SLUUUUUUUUUUURP! BUUUUUURP! COUGH! HACK! COUGH! SLUUUURP! SNORT!" The noises blocked out all other sounds, so the ladies were surprised when the door crashed open and Lady Catherine walked in.
The stately woman took one look at her nieces before turning to the housekeeper. "What is the meaning of this? I said I wished to be shown to Mr. Ashton! I demand to see him at once!"
"I am sorry Madam, but the master is out and will not return for a while," the housekeeper replied.
"Hmmmmmmmm... Very well then! You may go!" After the housekeeper left, Lady Catherine turned to her nieces. "Where is Anne? I must see her at once! She is to come home with me!"
The sisters looked at each other in shock. Obviously Anne had failed to inform her mother of the latest development. "Uh Aunt," said Leigh, "Anne and Col. Fitzwilliam eloped. They went to Gretna Green."
Lady Cat's face turned red, and from that to blue, then to purple. "SHE WHAT?" Then in a calmer voice she said, "My Anne would never do such a thing! You seek only to anger me-I know your plan! Well, it will not work! I know Anne is here and I demand to see her this instant!"
"Aunt Catherine," Belle said irritably, "it is true. Anne has gone to Gretna Green..."
Lady Catherine turned and stormed out of the room and into the foyer, calling, "ANNE! ANNE DE BOURGH! I KNOW YOU ARE HERE! YOU WILL COME OUT THIS INSTANT! THIS IS YOUR MOTHER! ANNE!"
When no Anne answered, Leigh said, "I told you, Anne isn't here!"
The dragon whirled on the sisters then. "She is here! You have corrupted her, turned her against me! You horrible girls! I blame your father for your behavior! My sister should never have married him! Who was he? Nobody! A grasping, scheming man, looking to better himself!"
"That's not true!" Leigh shrieked. "My father was a wonderful man! He loved Mother very much! And he was very much a gentleman!"
"Gentleman! Ha! He only married Sarah for her connections and money! You two ladies must have gotten your horrible disposition from him! My sister was a Fitzwilliam and would never have put up with this!
"Get out of my house this instant! GET OUT! GETOUTGETOUTGETOUT! GET OOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUT!"
James and the other gentlemen walked in at that moment. "What is all the shouting for?" James demanded.
"Our esteemed aunt was insulting us and our father!" Leigh yelled.
Lady Catherine drew herself up to her full height. "I only speak the truth! I always thought Sarah could have married a better man than that conniving, worthless..."
Leigh growled and rushed at her aunt. "WHY YOU! I'LL SHOW YOU WORTHLESS!" she screamed. Belle had to forcibly hold her back, or Lady Catherine would have soon been reduced to a bloody pulp. "LET ME AT HER, BELLE! COME ON! I'LL TEACH HER A THING OR TWO! COME ON YOU HORRIBLE WOMAN! YOU THINK YOU'RE TOUGH! LET'S GET IT ON! I'LL PUT THE SMACK DOWN ON YO' BOO-TAY!"
"Such behavior! Well that is what Sarah got for marrying that man!" Lady Catherine sneered.
"Aunt Catherine," James growled, "You will stop insulting my family this instant!"
"But..."
"No! I will have my say! Your behavior has not been exemplary of late either Aunt! First you insult Darcy's wife, then my father and sisters! Your impertinence will not be tolerated here. Until you can behave yourself better and apologize to my sisters, you are no longer welcome in this house!"
Lady Catherine glared at her nephew. "I see. Well then I shall never return if I am to be treated thus." With that she stormed out of the house and to her carriage. Several moments later, the people inside could hear her shrieking. They all ran out of the house only to see Lady Catherine being assaulted by a hail of various nuts. A squirrel danced in a nearby tree, laughing maniacally, and continued its barrage on Lady Catherine.
"Cory!" Belle and Leigh exclaimed in unison.
The others looked over at the sisters in confusion but turned back as Lady Catherine managed to climb into the carriage. Her shrieks could be heard for quite a distance as the carriage drove down the road. Cory the Squirrel chittered in satisfaction and strutted off into the forest.
"That is the strangest squirrel I have seen," James said in amazement.
Belle grinned. "Don't let her hear you say that! You'll be sorry!"
"Why? Whatever do you mean Belle?"
"Oh, you'll find out one of these days!"
Chapter 39
Several days later, Belle and Leigh were walking along a forest path, when they suddenly came upon their brother. James was covered in red welts, some of which were already bruising, and swearing up a storm. The sisters stared at him and then started to laugh.
"Why James!" Belle said grinning, "What happened to you?"
James frowned and rubbed his sore head. "I had a run in with that crazy squirrel that attacked Aunt Catherine."
"Yes she is rather nutty!" Leigh exclaimed, waggling her eyebrows.
Belle buried her face in her hands and groaned. "Leigh..."
"What?"
"That was bad. Really bad."
Leigh stuck out her tongue. "Sorry!"
"Really, really bad! Really, really, really bad! Really, really, really, really..."
"ALRIGHT! I GET THE POINT! Sheesh!"
"Are you two ladies quite finished?" James asked irritably.
"Of course!" Belle answered sweetly.
"Good. Then if you'll excuse me, I shall return to the house before that squirrel finds me again."
"I think you had better hurry then!" Belle said with a wicked grin. "I hear some rustling in the trees. It might be her!"
James's face went pale as he quickly scanned the trees in terror. A slight breeze rustled the trees and he ran for his life. The sisters collapsed on the ground, howling with laughter. Their voices echoed through the woods, disturbing all forms of life. It wasn't until an acorn whacked Leigh upside the head that the girls gained control of themselves.
"Ouch! My nugget!" Leigh whined.
"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" a familiar voice laughed triumphantly. Both sisters looked up to find Cory dancing in the branches above them. She smirked down at the girls.
"What in arse's name did you do that for?" Leigh growled at the squirrel.
Cory stood up straight and bared her teeth. "Because I can! And you humans are too stupid to do anything about it! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Belle crossed her arms and said, "We are not stupid! How are we stupid?"
"You haven't married those men of yours yet! You keep putting of the date! Stupid!"
"How do you know about them?" Belle asked.
"I know everything, human! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! They won't wait around forever you know!"
"Well how can we marry them if we're not from this time! We belong in the future not here!" Leigh said heatedly.
"Yes," Belle agreed, "We don't even know if we're going home!"
Cory chittered wickedly and said, "You're not going back!"
"What?" both women exclaimed in astonishment.
"You're not going home! I didn't go through all the trouble of getting you two here for nothing!" The sisters just gaped at her. Cory let out a long-suffering sigh and rolled her eyes. "Stupid! Why did I ever agree to be a fairy godmother to humans! Argh! All you ever get is grief!"
Belle and Leigh stared at each other in disbelief. Fairy godmother? A squirrel? What the...?
Cory glared down at the sisters and said, "Now I will hear no more talk of going home! You will marry those men and you will be happy or else!"
Leigh looked at her sister and said, "Are we going crazy? I didn't just hear that did I? A squirrel as our fairy godmother? Riiiiiiiiiiiight!"
"I wonder if she got into the fermented nut juice?" Belle grinned. Both girls snorted with laughter.
"Why you... you... you...!" Cory sputtered angrily. "I'll teach you what's what!" She drew herself up to her full height (all 7 inches of it) and waved her arms and tail in the air. The girls were so busy laughing that they didn't notice that Belle now had the ears of an ass and Leigh wore a pig's nose. They only realized the awful truth when Leigh began snorting and oinking. Both sisters gasped in shock. Cory had an evil grin on her face. "Laugh now you stupid humans!"
"Ok, ok, ok!" the girls sobbed. "Turn us back to normal, please! We'll do anything!"
"Only if you thank me for what I have done for you ungrateful brats!" After Belle and Leigh had thanked her profusely (and coming dangerously close to sounding like Mr. Collins) did Cory relent. "That's better! Never look a gift horse-or in this case a gift squirrel-in the mouth!"
"But what about James and all our friends in our time? Won't they miss us?" Leigh asked pathetically.
Cory looked ready to explode. "Will you stop questioning my judgment! Argh! Bloody humans! You've been gone for two years so give me a break! Now get your behinds back to the house and set the wedding date! Don't make me turn you into a pair of Miss Bingleys!"
The sisters didn't delay. They ran screaming all the way back to Lockwood, leaving behind a triumphant Cory.
Chapter 40
Authors' note: Well here it is! The final chapter! *sniffle* *sob* *sob* We hope you have enjoyed reading this as much as we have writing it! Thanks to everyone for their wonderful comments--it really spurred us along! But our rampaging insanity has finally come to a halt--only because that reinforced cement wall was in the way. But we digress... Yes, a sequel is in the works but it won't be ready for some time. MUAHAHAHAHA!!! Happy reading! :-)
After setting a wedding date with an ecstatic Harmon and Caulder, the weeks flew by in a flurry of wedding preparations. Belle and Leigh had forgotten about their cousin Anne until they received a letter from her one morning. The Lockwood party was in the breakfast parlor along with the Darcys. Belle took the letter from the servant and stared at it stupidly until Leigh could no longer contain her impatience.
"Well?" Leigh said, squirming in her seat. "Who's it from?"
Belle looked up dumbly and said, "Wha?"
Leigh practically leaped over the table. "Let me see it then if you're gonna be like that!"
"No!" Belle screeched. "IT'S MINE! IT'S MINE! YOU CAN'T HAVE IT! NAH NA-NAH NAH NAAAAAAAAAAH!" She got up from the table and hid behind Darcy.
Leigh narrowed her eyes and growled, "Why you!" She burst out of her chair and stalked towards Belle. "I'LL GET YOU, YOU COLLINS LOVER!"
The room went deathly silent. Suddenly, Belle popped up from behind Darcy's chair and screeched, "NOW THAT'S GOING TOO FAR!" She picked up Darcy's plate and hurled the contents at her sister.
The food missed Leigh and hit James instead. "Ha ha moron! Now give me that letter!" She leaped at Belle and the two fought with poor Darcy stuck in between them. Belle suddenly made a run for it and Leigh chased her around the table. This ended when Belle stumbled and Leigh lunged for her. Both sisters crashed to floor, kicking, clawing, biting, and screaming. Later on, they swore they heard the men taking bets.
"All right already! It's from Anne!" Belle yelled. "I'll read it! Sheesh!" She sat up and opened the battered and torn envelope.
My dear Belle and Leigh,
Several snorts from the table could be heard. Belle and Leigh glared until all was silent then continued to read.
I hope this finds you both in good health. I hope you will pardon my laxness in writing but my dear Richard and I have been entirely too engrossed in each other to think of much else.
"Ha! One track minds!" Leigh snickered.
I must tell you of our marriage! The journey was amazing! I had never seen so many places in my life! And of course the presence of my Fitzy only enhanced my enjoyment.
"Awwwwwwwww... How sweet!"
Belle read on through the wedding day and all of Anne's anxieties about her mother. The next part caught her off-guard and she perused the rest in silence. When she finished, she doubled over in laughter. Everyone stared at her, perplexed.
"Give me that!" Leigh demanded irritably and snatched the letter from Belle's hands. She read the rest silently to herself.
That day was perfect but I was terrified about the wedding night. Mother had never explained such things to me and I had to find out from the innkeeper's wife! She was a sour old woman. I was terrified when she told me what to expect. I could not believe men liked to do such things! Richard noticed my anxiety and suggested that we retire. This only succeeded in making me more nervous but I was determined to do my wifely duty. I had about talked myself into it when Richard appeared in my bedroom, completely disrobed. I took one look at well... you know... well maybe you do not... Back to the point--I took one look and screamed in horror. I ran to the other room and locked myself in for the remainder of the night.
Leigh burst into laughter and shouted, "Richard in the doghouse already? HAHAHAHAHA! He hadn't even started yet!" The caused Belle to laugh harder and the rest to gape in confusion.
"Did we miss something?" James asked.
Elizabeth rose and went over to the cackling sisters. She yanked the letter from Leigh's grasp and began to read. Her face turned scarlet. "Oh dear! Oh my!"
"What is it, darling?" Darcy asked.
Elizabeth began to chuckle and replied, "I do not think it is meant for you to know!"
The ladies laughed for a while more before Leigh jumped up and grabbed the letter from Elizabeth. "I GET TO WRITE ANNE FIRST!" she yelled.
Belle stood and stamped her foot angrily. "DO NOT!
"DO SO! AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!" With that, Leigh ran from the room with Belle hot on her heels. Several screams and a thud later, the others at breakfast knew that the issue had been resolved.
A week before the wedding, the guests began to arrive. Mama and Papa Reed were among those staying at Lockwood. After observing her giggling goddaughters for a few days, Lady Reed resolved to speak with them. It was the night before the weddings, that she finally had the opportunity. She summoned the girls to her room and settled them down for a serious talk.
"Now ladies, you are going to be married women and need to start behaving in a proper manner. I know you have always been a little wild..." Both sisters snorted and grinned proudly. "But this must come to a stop. You would not want to disgrace your husbands."
"Oh yeah?" Leigh said with an evil grin. "Who said?"
Belle rolled her eyes. "Must you be so irritating?"
"I learn from you, dear sister!"
"Enough ladies!" Lady Reed exclaimed. "I am perfectly serious!"
"Yes ma'am," the girls mumbled.
"Now, since you are to be married tomorrow," Mama Reed said, her face turning red, "You must know about the wedding night and what to expect."
"Oh!" Belle exclaimed brightly, "You do not need to explain! We know everything about it!"
"You... you do?"
"Yes!" came the reply. Then she proceeded to explain the process in graphic detail, with occasional input from Leigh.
By the time they were finished, Lady Reed was almost faint from shock. It was several minutes before she could speak. "How did you girls find all this out?"
"Uuuuuuuuuh... Errrrrrrr..." Leigh hesitated. "It was James! Yes that's it, James! He and Darcy have big mouths! Should a lady happen to be innocently walking by the library door at night, she hears some rather colorful things!"
"Yes!" Belle added. "I never heard such coarse language in my life! Leigh and I were traumatized for the next week! The nightmares we had! Oh Mama Reed, I wish you had been there to comfort us!" Belle began to sob pitifully.
"There, there, Belle! Everything is fine!" Leigh said before bursting into tears herself.
Lady Reed comforted the girls as best she could and sent them off to bed. When they were safely in their rooms, she headed downstairs in a most determined manner. She entered the library and glared at its occupants. "All right! I want everyone out of this room except for James and Darcy!" When the gentlemen gaped at her, she yelled, "MOVE IT! NOW!" Caulder, Harmon, and Lord Reed stumbled over each other in their haste to escape. As soon as the door slammed shut, Lady Reed turned to the two cowering men. "You!" she said angrily, pointing her finger at them. "I am severely disappointed in you both!"
The gentlemen look at each other in confusion. "What did we do?" James asked.
"You have terrorized my nieces with your late night talks! How could you talk about such things within a lady's hearing?"
"What are you talking about?" Darcy exclaimed.
"You know exactly what I mean! Do not play dumb with me!" She continued to ream the gentlemen out for their behavior, lack of propriety, and general disrespect. If she had paused, all three would have heard giggles issuing from behind the closed door. "I hope you gentlemen will have more respect for a young lady's delicacy before speaking in such a manner!" She glared at them one last time before storming out of the room.
James looked over at Darcy in bafflement, "Did I miss something?"
Epilogue
James and Darcy never did figure out what Lady Reed had been talking about. They mulled it over for many weeks but eventually decided that it was best left alone. Colonel Fitzwilliam could never understand why Belle and Leigh burst into giggles when he entered a room. Lady Catherine continued to abuse her son-in-law abominably until the day she died. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your perspective) Mr. Collins soon followed his beloved patroness. Mrs. Collins, finally released from his greasy grasp, married a man of 2000 pounds a year. When Georgiana was older, she and James eventually married, giving Belle and Leigh someone else to torture. Cory stayed at Lockwood, to terrorize the local populace. Miss Bingley continued to dress as a peacock and finally managed to attract a fop, who was a drunken acquaintance of Mr. Hurst. The Darcys and Bingley lived together in wedded bliss, except for when the Caulders and Harmons would visit.
Mrs. Caulder and Mrs. Harmon adjusted to their new lives with all the insanity of their younger days. Their husbands were delighted with every moment, which neither James nor Darcy understood. But who asked them? The sisters and Anne managed to terrorize all of London society for a season, until their husbands thought it prudent to return to the country. This they paid dearly for and their wives enjoyed every minute. We would like to tell you more but that is for another story...