Beginning, Section II, Next Section
Chapter 9
Longbourn, 05 October 1812
It was the day of the planned trip to London. Mr. Bennet had persuaded his wife to stay at home to keep him company. Therefore the party gathering outside Longbourn on this cold October morning was small and happy.
Jane and Elizabeth would travel alone and stay at their aunt and uncles house in Gracechurch-street. Mr. Bingley would accompany them both on horseback.
Elizabeth, already seated in Bingley's comfortable carriage, amusedly watched Jane being helped into the carriage by Charles. He was still holding her sister's hand even after she had been comfortably settled, trying to prolong the moment before they inevitably had to part for the journey.
Elizabeth in an effort to give them as much time as possible for their farewell looked out of the other window.
'Miss Bennet, I hope you will have a pleasant journey. I will be riding next to you, should there be anything amiss during the journey, please feel free to give me a sign at any time.'
'Thank you, Mr. Bingley, I am sure my sister and I will be fine,' said Jane deeply blushing and looking down.
Charles squeezed her hand one more time, bending down to kiss it, positively beaming with joy. He then turned to mount his horse and the small party was on its way to London.
'Oh, Lizzy, what have I done to deserve so much happiness.'
'Jane, Jane you are too modest.' Elizabeth laughingly turned towards her sister, grabbing her hand.
'Do you know to whom Charles, um, Mr. Bingley and I owe our present and future felicity, you will never guess.'
'I am sure that destiny is to blame, I mean is to reward for it.'
'Do not mock me, Lizzy, I am perfectly serious about this. It was all Mr. Darcy's doing.'
'Mr. Darcy's,' Elizabeth cried out in disbelief
'Yes, he was adamant that Mr. Bingley should seek me out again. He encouraged him not too despair but to return to Netherfield and to discern my true feelings for him.'
'That is what he told you? But when, you never mentioned it before.'
'He mentioned it just yesterday.'
'I do not want to hurt your feelings, Jane, but did Mr. Bingley give any justification as to why he did not come back earlier, why he abandoned you so suddenly and without explanation last year.'
'He entirely blames himself for it, but I think it is his natural modesty, he believed me to be indifferent and perhaps he was right to think so, although I felt comfortable in his company I never showed it to him or said as much.'
Elizabeth could very well imagine why Mr. Bingley had concealed the truth from Jane and she was thankful that he did. But she could not, would not forget that Mr. Darcy, perhaps with a little help from Miss Bingley, was solely responsible for their separation.
But, could it be true that Mr. Darcy was also at the root of their present bliss. This piece of news from Jane was interesting to say the least, and Elizabeth was glad that she had a whole carriage ride to town to contemplate it.
Soon after this conversation both sisters fell quiet, both lost in their own reveries. Jane pondering her happiness and Elizabeth thinking about a tall, dark and handsome man, whose character she was not yet able to discern.
Could it be that she had misjudged Mr. Darcy completely, that he was not that proud disagreeable man she believed him to be. More interesting yet was the question as to the cause for his advise to his friend, why had he forced Mr. Bingley to return to Netherfield.
Had he taken her bitter words from last April into account, that he had been the means of ruining her sisters live, had he tried to rectify his wrong. If so, Elizabeth would have to free him of almost all accusations she had charged him with before.
And this she could not do without acknowledging her own wretched blindness, without admitting her own faults. Maybe Mr. Darcy had lesser flaws and she had more than she had anticipated.
At the end of the carriage ride Elizabeth was not nearer an answer to her questions than at the beginning of it but she was now no longer indifferent towards meeting Mr. Darcy. She even felt curious to see him again.
Although it would probably be strange and embarrassing to meet him after her refusal, she knew there was no escaping it. But for the first time in a month she was now convinced that they both could somehow survive this inevitable encounter.
That perhaps in time they would be able to behave in each others company like normal acquaintances without any awkwardness. She no longer dreaded the possibility of a premature encounter with Mr. Darcy in London.
Elizabeth would have been surprised had she known that her brother to be was even now contemplating the possibilities of preventing such a crossing.
Charles Bingley had concealed his coming to London from Darcy. He even regretted informing Darcy of his engagement and in a wanton moment asking him to be his best man.
How could this possibly work out. The Bennets knowing Darcy, but Darcy not being able to acknowledge them. Charles anticipated and dreaded that at least one young lady would be very affronted by that.
Therefore Charles aimed to avoid an encounter of those parties for as long as possible, hoping that Darcy would regain his memory in time for the wedding.
'Georgiana, which of those ladies do you think is Bingley's fiancé?' Darcy handed the binoculars to his blushing sister.
Immediately understanding her hesitation he said, 'Do not worry, everybody is watching everybody. That is what theatres are for, you know.'
Still doubting her brother's words, she shyly took a hasty look through it and handed the suspicious object back to her brother.
'I would think it is the fair-haired lady, they are both engaged in conversation and oblivious to anything else.'
'Better and better,' murmured Darcy and added in a louder voice, 'Yes that is what I thought. Her name is Jane Bennet and she looks like a Jane.'
He took another look at the young woman behind the happy couple. Sitting in a box on the second floor exactly facing the stage he could easily watch Bingley's box, situated on the first floor and more to the side of the stage.
'Why do you think did Charles not mention the visit of his fiancée and sister to town, brother? It was a bit embarrassing to be told so by Caroline Bingley when I met her today.'
'I would not put it beyond Charles to simply have forgotten such formalities, especially when he has other things on his mind.'
Darcy put down the binoculars, neither the face of Bingley's fiancé nor that of her companion were familiar to him. He was not sure what to think. Did he not remember her because of his not yet fully restored memory or because he had not known her at all.
It was possible, he believed that he might have merely separated them based on hearsay and Bingley's side of the story. Since Bingley had not wanted to reveal how close his, Darcy's, acquaintance with Jane Bennet or even her family had been, Darcy was convinced that his assumptions he had not known her at all were right. For if he had known her or the other young lady accompanying her, he would have recognised them. One could not ought not forget such a lovely face.
Darcy picked up the binoculars again, admiring the beauty of the dark-haired woman. He could tell that she had a lively spirit for she was obviously enjoying her surroundings drinking in the glitter and glamour around her, ignoring the ramblings of Caroline sitting beside her.
He wondered how she was connected with Jane Bennet and if he would see her again, maybe at the wedding. He would like to make her acquaintance, but in the meantime he contented himself with admiring her from a distance, her shimmering dark eyes, the curls of seemingly unruly hair framing her lively features. The neckline...
Darcy now breathing heavily pushed the binoculars aside, he had to stop this. After all he was a gentleman, he should behave like one then. He turned towards Georgiana who was watching him from the side. He was certain she was a bit surprised by his behaviour to say the least.
Well he would just take one last look and hand Georgiana the binoculars for the performance. He could not even remember what they were supposed to see tonight, all he remembered were two fine eyes in the face of a certain lady.
But the moment he focused his eyes again on her, he put the binoculars down immediately, she had spotted him, how embarrassing to be detected by the very person he was spying upon. He was mortified.
The only decent thing he could do now, was to stand up and bow in her direction. Which of course did not go unnoticed by Caroline Bingley, who threw him a shrewish look. Without the binoculars he was not certain as to the reaction of the object of his admiration but he thought he saw her smile at him.
To Darcy's relief the curtains were lifted at that moment and the performance began.
Elizabeth was also glad that it now was darkening in the theatre, she put a hand to her burning cheek. How odd she felt inside. She had not expected to see Mr. Darcy here and if that was not enough he had even acknowledged her. She knew not whether to be obliged for that or not.
Caroline was leaning over, whispering, 'So you recognised Mr. Darcy then. Did you see his strange behaviour and empty stare. Is it not sad, such a young healthy man turned into an idiot by a fall from his horse,' sensing Elizabeth's disbelief and shock she continued, 'Maybe you did not know, but he had an accident this last April, which bereaved him of his,' whispering even more, 'mind, if you understand my meaning.
'Did you not wonder why Charles did not invite his closest friend over to greet his fiancé and sister to be. Well you will see for yourself at the wedding, although I do not know why my brother asked him to be best man, he will be of no use.
'Mark my words he will recognise none of you', anticipating an interruption from Elizabeth, she finished, 'the bow meant nothing believe me, just the whim of an empty-headed, poor soul.'
Satisfied with her little speech, Caroline leaned back. If she was not to have Fitzwilliam Darcy, no one else should raise their hopes in having him.
At the end of the performance both Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy were watching for each other, fearing and hoping for an encounter in the hall, but it was too crowded for there being any chance of such a meeting.
Elizabeth knew she would not have another chance to meet with Darcy before the wedding, since their departure for home was scheduled for tomorrow. She would have time to watch his demeanour then, and to decide if there was any truth in Caroline's malicious hints.
Darcy merely hoped he would see the beautiful lady with the fine eyes at Bingley's wedding again, and maybe by then he would have remembered whether he had never even known her or whether he had simply forgotten her like he had forgotten everything else.
Chapter 10
Netherfield Park, Midday, Early December 1812
'Does the house look familiar to you, Fitzwilliam?', Georgiana's sweet voice brought her brother out of his reverie. While their carriage was approaching Netherfield, Darcy had stared out of the carriage's window at the unfamiliar building. Now he was shaking his head in regret.
'No, but then I have no account for having been here before', Darcy did not take his eyes off of the house.
Georgiana shifted uneasy in her seat. She knew not what best to do, for she of course was aware that Darcy had been visiting with the Bingleys at Netherfield for quite some time last year. Mr. Goode's advice in mind she was anxious to reveal any such facts to her brother, but then how was he to move in this particular country society, when he was not able to acknowledge the people he was supposed to be acquainted with?
Perhaps Mr. Bingley had a solution to this problem, or else he would never have invited his friend to be his best man and to join him for the festivities surrounding the wedding in the first place, would he?
'Ah, look, there is the lucky fellow himself,' Darcy pointed at his friend, who was descending the front steps.
The carriage came to a halt and the guests were warmly greeted by Bingley, who in his usual good humour shoved them inside the house. Georgiana and Mrs. Annesley were shown to their rooms by the housekeeper, while several footman brought in the heavy trunks.
'Bingley, can I have a word with you.'
'Of course, now?'
'Yes, please, I will refresh myself later.' Darcy followed Bingley into his study. One could not yet call the comfortable room a library, since the many shelves were still half empty. Charles seated himself in a comfortable chair near to the fire and watched his friend walking over to the window and staring at the outside.
Bingley shifted uncomfortable in his chair.
'What ever is the matter with you, Darcy?'
No answer
'Darcy, ' a bid louder now.
'Um, er, yes, well. Tell me, and please be honest, should I remember this place, did I know your betrothed?'
'Yes and yes.'
'Why in heaven's name did you ask me to be your best man, then. How do you imagine this will work? They will think me to be the most arrogant person in the world. G-d, man, I do not remember a thing. How can I face the people I am supposed to know? how can I talk to them, if I do not know with what subjects to please and with what subjects to offend? And now this business of a ball tonight. Really, I do not even know how to address my acquaintances.' Darcy ended his dialogue with the window, turning around to face his considerably paled friend.
'You still do not recall anything beyond your twenty-sixth birthday? Mmh, perhaps you just need to meet the Bennets and you will remember them.'
'Look, Charles, it is of no use. I have seen you and your lovely fiancée at the theatre and I have since wracked my brain, but no memories will come,' Darcy again faced the window and recollected that night at the theatre. The night he would remember for the rest of his life, the night he had seen her. She, who filled his waking hours and his dreams. His face brightened.
'Who was that young, dark-haired woman accompanying you?'
'Elizabeth Bennet, one of Jane's younger sisters. So you did approve of her,' Bingley smirked and Darcy shot him an angry look. 'She will be at this night's ball, you could dance with her, then.'
'I can not and I will not, as I said it would not work out, she will be affronted by my strange behaviour, and do not you dare tell her anything about this horrible memory business.'
'No need for that, do not worry, Darcy, ' Bingley prayed that he would not be struck by lightening or anything else as unpleasant for what he was now attempting. 'You see, Miss Elizabeth was not with her family. For the greater part of our stay in Hertfordshire, she was visiting with her aunt and uncle in London. We just met her briefly at one occasion. As for the rest of the family, you did not get close with anyone, they will not notice that something is different.'
'Then this could work out, you think? Fine,' Darcy having taken a look at the clock on the mantelpiece was crossing the room with long strides. Door knob in hand he added, 'No time to loose, then. See you tonight, Bingley.'
Charles sighed with relief as the door fell close. What had he done? It was no good to brood over it, what was done could not be undone, just perhaps put into perspective. Yes he would ride to Longbourn and tell at least Jane and Elizabeth the truth. The rest of the Bennet family would detest Darcy any how, no matter what he would tell them.
They would not forgive Darcy for his behaviour last year. Well, neither would Elizabeth, but perhaps here Charles could prevent the worst, since he was sure that she was the only person in question who would even be more offended by Darcy's present demeanour, than she had been last year. Although Darcy's sudden interest in her, could help matters considerably.
'A riding accident, how terrible, poor Mr. Darcy.' Jane whispered
'Then it is true.' Elizabeth bit her tongue and scolded herself for letting slip this out.
'What is?' Bingley looked slightly worried. Fortunately he had happened on Jane and her sister on his way to Longbourn and had been able to tell them of Darcy's accident in confidence .
'Um, nothing, something Miss Bingley mentioned in the theatre, when we saw Mr. Darcy in his box.'
Bingley cursed under his breath. One day he would strangle Caroline for her forwardness.
'What exactly did my sister tell you, Miss Bennet'
'She indicated that his brain was damaged by his fall.' Elizabeth looked down, praying that this was not true and at the same time wondering why she should hope for a man, who so totally lacked anything she admired and looked for. No, that was not true, though, not anymore, she had to admit to herself. She had become more and more favourable in her estimation of Darcy over the last two months and had been awaiting his arrival with a mixture of anticipation and dread.
'It was indeed,' noticing the alarmed look on his companions faces, Bingley raised his hand and added hastily, 'no not in that way. He lost his memory and has not yet fully recovered it. He sort of gained bits and pieces back in chronological order, but he has not yet any recollection of the last two years.'
Elizabeth felt a pang of compassion run through her, and she hardly could refrain herself from crying out, poor Mr. Darcy.
Bingley continued, sending an anxious look at the sky, 'He does not know that he has been in Hertfordshire, at Netherfield, or that he knows anyone by the name of Bennet.'
'But, how will this work, when he meets all his former acquaintances and is not able to acknowledge them.'
'Perhaps we should tell father and mother.' Jane added.
Elizabeth shook her head. 'No, Jane. I do not think that Mr. Darcy would like to make his temporary handicap known to the whole county.'
'I am sorry, my dear, but I believe your sister is right. But people can hardly be more offended by his indifference now, than they were last year, can they.' Bingley looked at his fob-watch. 'I have to return, last preparations for tonight.' With that he bowed towards Elizabeth and kissed Jane's hand, mounted his horse and rode away.
'Oh Elizabeth, just two more days and I will be even happier than I am now. I am so looking forward to tonight's ball, all our dear relatives and friends gathered.'
'Yes, it will be a very interesting gathering.' Elizabeth smiled. She was now even more eager to meet Mr. Darcy again, for surely she would now be able to judge his behaviour without any prejudice. She would give him this last chance to show her his real character.
Chapter 11
Netherfield Park, The Night of the Ball, Early December 1812
The drive had been lit with hundreds of torches, several footman were prepared to hold horses and to open carriage-doors. The ballroom was bathed in the soft light of dozens of candles and the musicians had started to play. Everything and everybody at Netherfield were ready and eager to welcome the sixty invited guests.
Due to an argument with his sisters concerning his forthcoming wedding, Bingley had not invited them for the ball. Caroline Bingley and the Hursts were to arrive on the morrow just in time for the wedding ceremony, to bid the happy couple farewell and to sent them on their intended trip to Bath.
Therefore the duty of receiving tonight's guests had fallen on Bingley alone, but he and Darcy had agreed that both of them plus Georgiana were to stand in line to welcome the visitors. Thus giving Darcy the chance to learn most of the names without his handicap being suspected or discovered. Bingley would introduce every family to Georgiana and Darcy would only have to listen and to greet them as if he had never forgotten their acquaintance.
After half an hour nearly all guests had arrived. Among them the Lucases, the Phillips and ten other families of Meryton's gentry. Darcy's head was spinning with unfamiliar names and news. But to his astonishment he was also enjoying the parade in front of him. It was a display of all the different characters, follies and foibles that could be found in mankind, all in just one small country society. There was the good-humoured Sir Lucas, who was just a bit too full of his title, Mrs. Phillips, who seemed to be the living substitute for the local newspaper, full of gossip. There were old women and even older men, all in a flutter at the forthcoming event. There were dandies and flirtatious ladies.
This country society was not at all different from the company with which Darcy associated in town. Perhaps with less greed, maliciousness and scheming than it was common in London's society. Darcy was surprised for seeing through all this. He was sure he never before had entertained such philosophical thoughts. Since his twenty-first birthday he had participated in every season, had done what all members of the ton did and he was beginning to tire of it. But for the first time he was certain that all he wanted for his future was to surround himself with those who cared about him and who he cared for. He would spent more time with his sister and perhaps someday he would find, what Bingley had apparently found and for what Darcy was beginning to envy him.
Again his thoughts were filled with images of a dark-haired woman. Since today he had a name for her, Elizabeth Bennet and he cherished every syllable of it. He turned towards the door and as if he had sensed her nearness, there she was, surrounded by a rather large party. As he was to learn it consisted not only of the Bennet family with Mrs. Bennet, who reminded Darcy of an overbearing mother-hen; Mr. Bennet, a silent observer, two younger daughters Mary and Kitty and the two eldest, Jane and Elizabeth, but also of the Gardiners, who were somehow related to the Bennets.
Darcy watched with trepidation the approach of Elizabeth with the Gardiners close behind her . The rest of the family had already entered the ballroom with the exception of Jane, who was now holding Bingleys arm, ready to follow the others, since the Bennets had been the last guests.
Darcy's heart was pounding nervously as introductions were made. Georgiana blushed, looking down in embarrassment, she was not yet used to the welcoming duties of a hostess. But her uneasiness shifted as soon as she realised the friendliness of these last visitors, who were inclined to like her. Darcy observed, how Georgiana shyly smiled at Elizabeth and that she even had the courage to ask the Gardiners, if they had a pleasant journey.
It was now his turn to bow in Elizabeth's direction. Darcy was sure his heart would burst as he presently was able to study her at just an arms distance. What a difference from the dimly lit theatre. Her features, her skin, her eyes, her figure, what a breathtaking sight at so small a distance. And what a voice, she was speaking to him. Get a hold on, Darcy berated himself. She was introducing her aunt and uncle:
'Mr. Darcy may I introduce Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner. My uncle is in trade and lives in cheapside.' Elizabeth was blushing at her own audacity for speaking so ill of her fondest relations, but she had to test him, to see his reaction to this people, who, as he had once professed, were so decidedly beneath him.
Mr. Darcy bowed both to her aunt and her uncle. Was that a smile forming on his lips, oh yes and what a smile. Elizabeth was sure that she had never before had the pleasure of seeing his face engaged in such a fashion, for she was completely taken by surprise by the sight of dimples. Now he was offering his arms to both her aunt and herself to lead them into the ballroom.
Elizabeth hesitatingly laid her hand onto his arm. They proceeded to the opposite side of the room from where the musicians were seated, in order to be able to converse. Bingley followed with Jane and Georgiana. Mr. Darcy offered to fetch some drinks but was declined. Jane and Bingley soon left them, while Mrs. Gardiner and Elizabeth tried to get Georgiana out of her reserve and were soon chatting easily about different topics like music, fashion and theatre, with occasional interruptions by Mr. Gardiner and Mr. Darcy.
Darcy watched with surprise that his little sister was entertaining herself quite well. Mr. Gardiner went to speak to his brother-in-laws, leaving Darcy to quietly observe the three ladies. He had never seen Georgiana so animated and open before. His eyes wandered to Mrs. Gardiner, she seemed to be a genteel motherly woman. He would encourage Georgiana to maintain this newly formed acquaintance. Darcy realised, that Georgiana was only uneasy in the company of Bingley's sisters, which had to spring from their artificial behaviour. It would do her good, to meet with people, who behaved naturally.
His eyes came to a halt on Elizabeth's face. For the first time in his live, Darcy felt entirely calm. It was as though he had found what he had been looking for and it also reminded him of coming home. Come on, you can not fall for just a beautiful face, he scolded himself. Love at first sight, you never believed in it, get a grip on, man. But it is not just her face or her appearance that appeals to me, there is such openness in her conduct such intelligence in what she says, Darcy considered. I will have to get to know her better.
Darcy had been staring at Elizabeth and was now caught at it for the second time, she had an bewildered expression on her face and he knew this might be his only chance to right the wrong he had unknowingly committed. Darcy took his heart in his hands and approached her, saying, 'Miss Bennet, would you do me the honour of dancing the next set with me.'
'Why, yes thank you Mr. Darcy.' Mr. Darcy bowed and Elizabeth watched him proceed to where her father stood with both her uncles. To her surprise she saw that Mr. Darcy was actually talking to Mr. Bennet. Elizabeth slightly shook her head. At moments like these, she missed having Charlotte around to discuss what was in her heart.
Mr. Darcy seemed to be a different man altogether. She mused whether this change had been brought about by his riding accident or whether she had been thus blind and prejudiced by her first impression of him that she had not been able to judge him objectively after he had slighted her on their first meeting. Maybe his pride had been nothing else than shyness on entering a new company, perhaps like the kind she had observed in his sister.
'He does not behave like a proud, disagreeable man, your Mr. Darcy.' Elizabeth nearly jumped at this teasing comment, whispered to her by her aunt, who had approached her rather unnoticed, since Georgiana had been asked to join Kitty and Maria Lucas.
'No, no, but he is not my Mr. Darcy.'
'In his looks at you, I could only read admiration, Lizzy. And there, how he is laughing at something your father said. I think, he has a very fine figure. I dare say, he is not more proud than your average wealthy young man. The music has changed, he is coming over. Enjoy your dance, my dear.'
Elizabeth had no time to reply, for her aunt had already left. Nervous, as if it was her first dance ever, she let herself be guided to the dance floor by Mr. Darcy. Could it be that this change in his behaviour was just his way of coping with his loss of remembrance. Perhaps he was being overly friendly, so that nobody would suspect anything.
Meanwhile Darcy had formed a desperate resolution. He would tell this bewitching young woman the truth. He could not bear it, if she took his demeanour amiss.
'I believe we have to have some conversation, do not you think, Miss Bennet.' Elizabeth looked up in astonishment at these words, which were so familiar to her. Was he teasing her. She had to find out, but before she could reply with some quotation out of their former conversation, he said.
'Miss Bennet, I have a confession to make,' They were parted by a figure required of the dance.
'I know, we have been acquainted,' again they had to change partners.
'But I must admit, I have no recollection whatsoever of our former meetings,' Another few steps in the opposite direction.
'Due to a riding accident, last April, in Kent, I have lost my memory, and I would like to apologise for any offense I might have caused you or your family by any negligence or awkward behaviour on my part. I also would like to beg your pardon for my unruly behaviour at the theatre the other night. In defense, I might only add that I was captured by the sight before my eyes.' Darcy looked deep into Elizabeth dark eyes, which were brightened by the exercise, but alas, they were parted again to change partners.
Elizabeth was thoroughly aghast. To be flattered by Mr. Darcy, and to be certain of his sincerity for she had seen the truth in his eyes. And what mesmerizing eyes that were. Why had she never before perceived this. Her compassion for his accident was vanishing and being substituted by something close to respect.
She watched Darcy turning and again coming towards her for the finishing figure of this dance, when suddenly his eyes were wide with horror and he stopped abruptly, thus causing the gentleman of the following couple to bump into him.
'What the,' pause, 'is he doing here.' She heard Mr. Darcy utter. Following his gaze she could see, who had caused this outburst. For at the entrance to the ballroom stood no other than Mr. Wickham, bold as brass, accompanied by his young wife, turning up out of the blue, uninvited and unwelcome.
Chapter 12
Netherfield Park, The Night Of The Ball Continued, Early December 1812
Darcy was unable to move, he knew he was making a fool of himself by staring, but he could not do anything about it. He could just stand still and let the memories flood through him. He was shocked, he was perplexed, he was pained but the feeling foremost filling his being was vexation.
Yes, he remembered his surprise and anger when he happened on Georgiana and Wickham in Ramsgate and had learned Wickham's plan from his terrified sister. Georgiana's escape from a fate worse than death had been depending on shear chance. Darcy now perceived with pain, that he had done practically nothing to prevent this incident from ever happening again. He had let Wickham go without any punishment, threat or denouncement. It was all done to save Georgiana from any rumours and to give her piece. But he now realised how bad he had failed her. Wickham was free to cause his family further pain and he, Darcy, had lost his memory and had not been able to comfort or protect Georgiana from this fateful confrontation.
Wickham had not yet perceived the Darcys. He and his accompaniment were still standing at the entrance now being greeted by a very flushed Bingley and embarrassed Jane (for neither of them had invited the Wickhams), followed by Mrs. Bennet.
Darcy looked to where Georgiana was standing with Maria Lucas and Kitty Bennet, who at that moment pointed towards the door. He observed how his sister looked towards the pointed direction, recognised George Wickham and paled considerably. Darcy knew he had to act quickly, he had to remove Georgiana from the scene, but he still was unable to move.
'Are you all right, Mr. Darcy,' Elizabeth had witnessed Darcy's demeanour changing from shock and pain to one of anger. She had followed his gaze and discerned Georgiana's expression of terror in noticing Wickham. Elizabeth was not sure what to make of the scene before her. She knew for certain that her sister and brother-in-law had not been invited and was herself equally embarrassed at their uninvited turning up as Jane.
'No, yes, thank you Miss Bennet, I am quite fine, but I fear my sister is not feeling well, perhaps it would be best that we retired for the evening.' Darcy was undecided as to what to do next. He was still paralyzed, there was something missing, some clue, he shook his head to clear his thoughts. Why should Wickham turn up at this ball. What was his connection to this assembly, for Darcy had noticed that both he and his accompaniment were being welcomed by different guests among them most of the Bennets and even Bingley. Moreover Wickham had apparently not yet realised his own or Georgiana's presence. Could it be possible, that he had not come to cause further dismay. Suddenly he remembered the announcement in the Times Lately, George Wickham, Esq. to Miss Lydia Bennet.
'Miss Bennet, are you familiar with Mr. George Wickham?'
'Why, yes, he is married to my youngest sister, Lydia. Believe me, I am very surprised at their turning up, for they were certainly not invited.'
'Mmmh, that would match with what I know of his character. Miss Bennet, I fear my sister and I will be prevented from joining tomorrow's festivities. I have to protect my sister from the presence of your fine brother there. Could you please inform Mr. Bingley that I will wait for him in the library. Excuse me.'
Elizabeth watched his retreating figure, proceeding towards Georgiana, laying one comforting arm around his sister and leading her out without any further look in Wickham's direction. It seemed that Wickham had not realised the havoc he had caused by his arrival.
Darcy guided Georgiana outside and towards the library, trying to comfort her. He saw that she was shaken by Wickham's presence but not as much as he would have thought. They reached the comfortably warm room. He saw to it, that Georgiana seated herself in one of the chairs close to the fire and then rang for a servant to get some Brandy.
'Dear brother, I am fine, I assure you. It was just a momentarily feeling of weakness. I suppose I am a bit tired after the long journey. Go, join the others, I will be back in no time.'
'No need, to spare my feelings or my memory. The moment I saw George Wickham with my own eyes, the memories just kept flowing in.'
'Uh, you do remember then. I am so sorry, Fitzwilliam, I could not tell you, but as you know Mr. Goode made us promise not to reveal anything, but I was so unhappy to be concealing anything from you. Can you forgive me.'
Georgiana looked up to her brother, one single tear rolling down her cheek, bringing Darcy down on his knees at once. He took her in his arms and whispered, 'The blame is entirely mine. I should have remembered and prevented this confrontation from ever happening. I failed you badly, I am sorry, little sister.
'But we will leave here at once. I can never right the wrong I did to you by dragging you here, while I should have realised that Wickham was connected with this particular Bennets. I would have known, were it not for this blasted amnesia. I still do not recall any of the past events here in Hertfordshire.' Darcy stood up again pacing the room. A knock on the door brought just the servant, still no sign of Bingley.
'Bingley should be here any minute, I will explain to him, that we will leave as soon as possible. I think it will be for the best. Perhaps you could go up-stairs and let Mrs. Annesley see to the necessary preparations.'
'But surely there is no need to run away. I can handle this, I am not afraid of George Wickham anymore. He is a married man, he can do me no harm, can he now. I am sure he did not even see me. Please Fitzwilliam do not let him spoil your fun. Were you not enjoying yourself in Miss Elizabeth Bennet's company?'
Darcy looked at his sister, it was a tempting offer, to be able to deepen his acquaintance with a certain young lady. But how could he enjoy himself, when he knew his sister was just being brave and was still unnerved by Wickham's presence as was he himself.
'No, we will be leaving. There will be plenty occasions to meet with Miss Bennet. We will renew our acquaintance with the Gardiners and I am sure Miss Bennet is often visiting with them. Besides I could not appreciate the ball or the wedding with him being around.'
Soon afterwards Georgiana left for Mrs. Annesley and Bingley joined Darcy.
Meanwhile In The Ballroom
Elizabeth walked over to Bingley and Jane, who were standing a bit aside of the group assembled around Wickham and Lydia. Elizabeth was utterly appalled by the lack of propriety, embarrassment and concern shown by those two. What a nerve to come here as if an elopement had never taken place, as though all the debts were nothing. Of course these had been extinguished, but not by the culprit himself. Elizabeth knew the exact truth, that thanks to Colonel Fitzwilliams the financial side of this sad business had been settled, this much her father had confided to her, and only to her.
'Mr. Bingley, Mr. Darcy is waiting for you in the library. I believe it is a matter of importance. Miss Darcy has been taken ill.' Elizabeth did not mention her confirmed suspicion, that Miss Darcy's uneasiness had something to do with the newly arrived guest, in case anyone would overhear her. If the Darcys had to leave, it would be best not to reveal any details, since the majority still believed Mr. Darcy to be the villain in this story.
'Thank you, Miss Elizabeth, Miss Bennet, please excuse me, I will better join my friend in the library then. Maybe I could let the doctor be fetched,' mumbling on in the same way, speaking to himself, Bingley left the two sisters.
'Pray, what excuse did our happy couple give, for turning up uninvited. What a nerve,' Elizabeth questioningly whispered to her sister.
'And what an embarrassing situation it was, I believe Charles did not think about inviting them, living so far away. But on the other side it is awkward, after all they have done to nearly ruin our family.'
'Jane, do not be so kind towards them, maybe they did not ruin our family but they brought shame on our names nonetheless. Then they had no excuse for coming all this way? And where are they supposed to stay? And I am certain, that Charles did not forget to invite them, he would not have invited them because of his friend. Did you not just see the scene. Poor Miss Darcy was all shaken by Wickham's sight. Believe me there is more to the whole story, than we have been made believe by George Wickham.'
'I cannot understand of what you are talking. Lydia told me, since mother wrote her of my betrothal they thought it to be fun to surprise us. They did not mean any harm, surely. And of course they are staying with us. But, Elizabeth how come you are suddenly on Mr. Darcy's side, you who always defended Wickham. You yourself blamed Mr. Darcy for Wickham's station in life.'
'Oh Jane, yes, yes, but that was only at first, before Wickham eloped with Lydia. He is entirely to blame for that. Such a character cannot be wholly without fault in his dealings with Mr. Darcy. I am now convinced that Wickham is a liar and that he only came here, fully aware of who would also be here, just to cause mischief and pain. It is not as though I think better of Darcy, for I still do not know the truth, but I do think less of Wickham after all he has done to us-'
'Hush, they are coming over.' Jane managed to interrupt her sister's flow of words. Elizabeth put on a false smile and turned to welcome her sister and brother. Lydia was as always bursting with energy and soon left Elizabeth alone with Wickham, dragging Jane with her to inform her of her marital duties. Jane frowned and Elizabeth wished she could vanish or make him vanish.
'Dear sister, you seem surprised in seeing us here.'
'On the contrary, if there is anything I would put past you, believe me it is not your leaving your regiment so soon after you joined it and turning up here uninvited.'
'Witty, but do I detect a hint of jealousy in your words.'
To her thorough mortification Elizabeth blushed at this and for once been taken by surprise and unable to utter a syllable, she just turned and walked towards where her father was with the Gardiners, leaving Wickham to stand alone in the middle of the room, looking rather foolish.
'Elizabeth, look who is here,' Mr. Bennet motioned for Elizabeth to come over. She was not able to recognise, who her father was talking of, for the person was covered by her aunt. Elizabeth approached a bit more...
'Colonel Fitzwilliam.'
'Miss Bennet.'
Chapter 13
Netherfield Park, The Night of the Ball continued, Early December 1812
"I am sorry Colonel, do not mistake my surprise. I am happy to see you, I was just not aware you were expected, I did not know that you were familiar with Mr. Bingley."
"I know Mr. Bingley through his friendship with my cousin. I believe Bingley invited me to be on the safe side, less his intended best man should forsake him. Actually I was not to arrive until early tomorrow, but due to lucky circumstances, I made it beforehand."
"Colonel, you should enjoy your early arrival," Mr. Bennet prompted, smiling mischievously at Elizabeth.
"Quite, Miss Bennet, would you do me the honour to dance the next two with me."
"Thank you Colonel."
As the music had already started, Richard led Elizabeth towards the other couples, who where already engaged in the first steps of the dance. He could hardly believe his luck. He had not been aware of the ball. Here he was, holding the hands of his lady-love, smiling at her, warming himself in the brightness of her beautiful eyes. He looked at her. She seemed to be in deep thoughts, from time to time, looking towards the entrance as though anxiously or nervously awaiting someone. He would have to try his best to distract her.
"Has my cousin Darcy arrived yet? He wrote to me, he would take his sister with him. I am certain you would like her."
"Mmmh, oh, yes, they both arrived earlier today, they received the guests with Mr. Bingley."
Richard searched the room, but he saw neither any Darcy nor the host.
"Where are they then, I have not seen them, since I arrived these past ten minutes."
"No, you would not have. If you look to where my mother is standing, you will understand the cause for their rather sudden disappearance."
"Wickham," spat the Colonel through his clenched teeth.
"Exactly, of course they were not invited." Elizabeth hesitated. No, she would not spare anyone's feelings. She would no longer show polite indifference. She had to know the hole story, and maybe here was her only opportunity, since Darcy seemed determined to leave. In fact she thought it very likely that she would never see Darcy again. She had enough proof for his dislike of Wickham, to know with certainty that he would do anything in his power to avoid any connection or anyone connected with her brother-in-law.
"Colonel, after what you said of Mr. Wickham, causing your family continued distress, I am sure he came here, because your cousin would be attending the wedding. Pray, tell me what this is all about."
The first dance had finished and since Elizabeth had professed her wish to talk, Richard led her towards a couple of chairs, shielded from curious eyes by a huge plant, though not huge enough as to make the spot improper. Without further delay, Elizabeth came to the point.
"When Mr. Wickham arrived in Meryton, soon after Mr. Bingley had entered our neighbourhood with his company, your cousin had not left a good impression on our little country society. Mr. Wickham, maybe sensing this, told a story of how he had been deprived of his living by Mr. Darcy, although the living had been promised to him by Mr. Darcy's own father. Shortly after this revelation, Mr. Bingley and his little society left for London. We all believed Mr. Wickham's story to be true, without considering to ask the blamed party, since Mr. Darcy's behaviour supported Mr. Wickham's version of him being the villain. I do not know what to believe any more. I am sick of being misled by the one and not being enlightened by the other."
After a short pause in which Richard contemplated what to reveal and what to conceal, he told Elizabeth the truth about Wickham declining the offered living and his acceptance of an according compensation.
"This is a faithful narrative of my cousin's dealings with his father's godson. I am certain that my cousin never knew any of the accusation being made against him behind his back. Therefore he was unable to deny them, or else he would have strongly objected, and even taken legal steps."
"That is what surprised me, and I must say confirmed my trust in Mr. Wickham. I did accuse Mr. Darcy of ruining Mr. Wickham's chances in live, one evening in Hunsford." Elizabeth blushed, remembering the scene of Mr. Darcy's unwise proposal. Richard eyed her with surprise. He could not recall having witnessed such a conversation. Elizabeth again changed colour.
"Oh, no, can this be. I guess, I am beginning to understand, why he never denied my accusations. When did he have the riding accident?"
"Um, you know of his handicap?"
"Yes, Mr. Bingley thought it necessary to initiate Jane and me, in case we should be offended by your cousin's indifferent behaviour."
"The accident was in the night of the ninth of April."
Elizabeth knew with certainty the meaning of this, and paled even more. It had been the night of his proposal and her refusal. What if she had caused the accident by her harsh tone. She had noticed his angry demeanour, when he had left.
Richard did not like what he saw. It seemed that Miss Bennet showed an eager interest in his cousin, more, than he had ever witnessed before. What if he was to late, he had heard of women preferring handicapped men, of love rooted in pity. This particular man's charm seemed to have worked in an hour. Her concern for him was obvious.
"But there must be more to this affair. Why else should Miss Darcy be thus shaken by Wickham's appearance."
"I am sorry, Miss Bennet. I can not, will not tell you. It is not for me to reveal this sad episode. You will have to ask Mr. Darcy for the facts. Now, Miss Bennet, it is your turn to enlighten me. What has happened to my cousins and Bingley."
"I was in the middle of a dance with Mr. Darcy, well it was more towards the end, when suddenly he halted and following his gaze, I saw no other than Mr. Wickham with Lydia in tow. Mr. Darcy then looked towards his sister, I witnessed how she paled at the sight of Mr. Wickham and struggled to keep her countenance. Mr. Darcy guided her outside, asking me to send Bingley to the library.
"Did Mr. Wickham witness this scene?"
"I am not sure, but I do not think so, he may even be unaware, that your cousins were to attend the ball. He could still be uninformed of Miss Darcy's being here."
"Believe me, Mr. Wickham would not have turned up uninvited, were he uninformed. I will better join my cousin in the library."
Elizabeth nodded, one doubt rising in her mind. 'It is not for me to interfere, but would it not appear in a better light, if your cousins remained. By their leaving they would only confirm Wickham's lies."
Richard smiled at her quick wit and perceptiveness. She was totally adorable. But this was neither the occasion nor the place he had wished for, to make his feelings known.
"Miss Bennet, you are right, as always. These were my sentiments exactly. I will do my best to prevent their departure." With this he stood up, bowed and left towards the library.
"May I come in?"
"Richard, what are you doing here?" Darcy stood up in surprise.
"Um, I invited him, of course," Bingley felt slightly uneasy at Darcy's apparent ignorance, "I thought it would be a good idea, since Fitzwilliam is acquainted with the Bennets and I could think of no better substitute for you. I could not be sure if you had the guts to come, because of your amnesia."
Darcy raised an eyebrow at this information knowing the Bennets, since when is that then, have to keep this in mind.
"And from what I hear, you got cold feet. On the run, are we cousin?"
Darcy's eyebrow now raised in annoyance of his cousins slight hostile tone.
"I have to consider Georgiana's feelings and well-being in this, remember."
"Then you should acknowledge, that she is prepared to stay, unlike you. I spoke to her just now." Richard was not prepared to make this easy for Darcy, partly because he was still sensing this ever so light sting of jealousy. Let him suffer for a while, he thought.
Bingley was increasingly feeling uneasy at this unfamiliar display of animosity between these two normally very close men.
"Um, I will join my guests again. And consider, Darcy, do not leave, I beg you."
Neither of the men seemed to notice Bingley's departure, they were still staring at each other.
"What do you propose, I should do then. Go out, challenge him to a duel and shoot him. Believe me, I have contemplated this option, but with my luck I will get killed at the attempt, an ambush, not my style. Legal redress, not an option either, considering Georgiana's reputation. Let me here your advice then."
"Find out what he came here for. Whether he knows of your being here and came with a plan, or whether it is just coincidence. Decide then. For, if he came with a plan, it will be about blackmailing you exactly with what you fear most, disclosing the Ramsgate affair, putting Georgie's reputation at the risk.
"You should long ago have taken legal options, as I advised you. By not doing so, you may momentarily have saved Georgiana, but you put many young women in danger. I will tell you a story and let's see, if you then still regard this as so simple, as you seem to now."
The Colonel revealed the business of Wickham's elopement with Lydia, his own involvement in it and finished, "It was by your irresolutness, that this could ever have happened. Had Wickham's dissolute manner's been made publicly known, he would never have been able to enter the army nor to deceive anyone about the true nature of his dealings with you. By rights it should have been you, chasing after him, resolving his debts, paying him, bribing him to marry Lydia and to wash the Bennet's family name off. Instead my brother and uncle paid, but since it is family, we were responsible also. Yet I do regret ever having followed your advice and not pressing my point of view, after what happened at Ramsgate."
"You are very harsh on me, Richard. I wish, I knew the true reason why. I am sorry, that my decision caused so much pain. Maybe I was selfish, but I had Georgiana's well-being in mind."
"Then stay, or else Wickham will be able to tell more lies. He will never stop bothering you, if you leave now."
Darcy sat down again, head in hands: 'You better go, enjoy the ball, I have some thinking to do.
The Colonel turned to go.
"One more thing, Richard, thank you for the service you rendered the Bennets, I have only to be ashamed of my failure, in not preventing this elopement from happening or from playing the knight in shining armour. They must be very thankful to you." Darcy heard the door falling into its lock. He was alone. Alone with his thoughts, alone with his guilt, alone with his choices.
How could he right this situation, without giving Wickham the possibility to blackmail him further and still protecting his sister's interests. He had to threaten him in such a way, Wickham was sure never to forget and by this taking him the taste for ever doing so again. Maybe if he stooped so low as Wickham was wont to do. Yes, by lowering himself onto one level with George, he would be able to fight him with his own weapons. A wicked idea started forming in his mind, but first he had to make some observations.
He left the library through the terrace-door rounded the house and came to a halt in front of the ballroom. Now he could spy without being detected. He would try to discern whether Wickham was indeed aware of his presence. He was searching the room and could not prevent his eyes from automatically looking for her. There she was, dancing, enjoying herself, smiling at her partner. How he wished to be that man, who was rewarded by this breathtaking display on her lovely face. The man turned around and he could see that it was no other than his cousin Richard.
A hot stream of jealousy flooded through him, for he had seen the mesmerised gaze, Richard had cast upon her. Maybe she had been the only reason for Richard's intervention in Wickham's elopement, but how he learned of it, and how he was connected to the Bennets still was a miracle for him. Perhaps it was some of the facts he had temporarily forgotten.
He willed himself, to stop such unwanted speculations, to focus on the task at hand. There was Wickham, standing next to Mrs. Bennet, with a glass of wine in his hand. From time to time he looked around or towards the door, as if searching something or someone.
Darcy watched and contemplated his chances, when suddenly one of the windows next to him was opened and a certain young lady exited into the night.
"Mr. Darcy"
"Miss Bennet, are you alone? "
"Why, yes, what are you doing here outside?"
"Trying to discern whether Wickham is aware of my presence or not, whether he had planned to meet me or not."
"I just overheard him asking Mr. Bingley about you."
"What did Bingley answer?"
"I do not know, for we had to move in line."
"Miss Bennet, could I ask you a favour?" She nodded.
"Could you try to find out, what Bingley answered. Then according to the answer, send Wickham out to me either without telling why or who is awaiting him, or either with telling him, that I am waiting for him here.
Elizabeth nodded, but her face must have revealed her doubts, for he was quick to calm her.
"No I will not harm him, maybe scare him. I want to threaten him to never again trouble me or my family."
"Mr. Darcy, excuse my curiosity, but since I witnessed your sister's uneasiness at Mr. Wickham's presence, pray why is she so afraid of him?'.
"As much as I would like to tell you, I fear this is not the right time, to do so. Please--"
She interrupted him. "Yes I will send Mr. Wickham out, be prepared Mr. Darcy and good luck for your scheme."
"Thank you, Miss Bennet." With this he took her hand and brushed it with his lips, although by this breaking every rule of decorum. Elizabeth looked up at him with astonishment, it seemed, that he had not yet ceased to surprise her. The sensation of his lips on her flesh had made her very dizzy and she felt as though she was burning, with all the heat focusing in her blushing cheeks. Hesitantly Darcy let go of her hand, motioning his head towards the ballroom and forming with his lips the words Thank you. .
Thus released Elizabeth entered the fully lit room.
It was with mixed feelings, that Elizabeth went in search of Mr. Bingley. Her head was spinning with all the new information. At least they did not come as major surprise. She had long since the elopement started to doubt Wickham's character. In fact she was now totally convinced of Wickham's bad character. What still amazed her though was Mr. Darcy's changed demeanour. By admitting Wickham's faults she had gradually come to the conclusion that she accordingly had to estimate Darcy's character higher than she had before. But his behaviour in the last couple of hours had only added further proof of how bad she had misjudged him. Nevertheless there was a little voice reprimanding her not to be to convinced of his goodness, it could be just a side-effect of his amnesia.
Elizabeth spotted her sister standing at the buffet and next to her Mr. Bingley. With a nervous heart she approached the couple.
Bingley greeted her, "Miss Bennet, I hope you enjoy yourself. Was the premature arrival of the Colonel not a lucky circumstance?"
"Yes. Mr. Bingley may I congratulate you on this wonderful ball. I am certain no one could find any faults at your arrangements. Though perhaps the unexpected arrival of some guests might have cast a small shadow on this otherwise lovely evening. Pray did a certain brother-in-law specify his uninvited coming. Did Mr. Wickham ask you, if Mr. Darcy was to attend?" Elizabeth felt just a slight remorse at her forwardness for she could see Jane was very upset by her questioning. Luckily Mr. Bingley was not as easy to be distressed.
"Well, yes. I am very sorry for this, but I have still hope, that Fitzwilliam might have changed his cousin's mind, and that Darcy will stay after all. Mr. Wickham did ask me whether my best friend and designed best man would be joining the ball or just tomorrow's festivities. I merely confirmed the fact he already seemed to know, that indeed Darcy was to be my best man."
Oh, the nerve, than he knew exactly that it would be worth his while spending so much money in traveling here. Elizabeth thought. She thanked Bingley and went towards where Wickham was standing with Lydia and Kitty. She could just overhear a small quarrel. Lydia was begging Wickham to dance with her, with him replying, that as a married man he would now have to sit down, and that she should follow his example. Lydia pouted, stamped her foot to the ground and led a giggling Kitty away, to complain about Wickham with her mother.
Wickham turned and was now facing Elizabeth.
"My dear sister, it would be a honour for me, if you stood up with me for this set."
"I am sorry, but I fear that I will be prevented from this surely delightful experience by your being wanted outside in the garden."
Wickham stared at her intimately and bestowed upon her his irresistible lopsided grin, not knowing that he had long lost her good opinion.
"I will follow wherever you lead."
Elizabeth turned and proceeded towards the huge windows facing the garden, she opened one.
"After you, brother."
Elizabeth stood at the window, watching Wickham pass her by. As soon as he put his second foot onto the terrace, Elizabeth heard an awful sound, as of breaking bones. Shocked she was moving to follow Wickham, alas, prevented by the voice of the Colonel. Not wanting to reveal the meeting in the garden, she positioned herself in front of the window, closing it with her body.
"Miss Bennet, have you seen Mr. Darcy?"
"No, I have not. Are you looking for him?"
"I just checked on Miss Darcy. Everything has been packed, the carriage is waiting. I merely wanted to inform him, that all is ready for his escape, if he still wants to leave. I hoped that I had talked some sense into him, but he seems to have vanished."
"Perhaps he is just now changing his plans and arranging his further stay."
"I wish it were true, but I fear Darcy's mind once made up, is not easily changed."
They both stood a moment in silence contemplating the same man's character. Richard quietly observed Elizabeth, tonight she seemed so far away, out of his reach. Maybe he was just imagining things. He would try his luck tomorrow, who knew when a better opportunity would offer itself in the near future, and however her answer turned out, till then he would cherish the moments he had.
"Miss Bennet, do you care for another dance with me."
Elizabeth smiled and took his offered arm.
Meanwhile In The Garden
The moment Wickham stepped on the terrace his nose met with something hard. He stumbled to the ground, cursing, holding his bleeding nose. Looking up, Wickham slowly recognized the cause of this unruly welcome, for towering over him, holding his bleeding knuckles stood no other than his all-time rival, Fitzwilliam Darcy.
"Who have we here, lets see, George Wickham, man, I am sorry you ran into my fist."
"Darcy, you will pay for this." Still holding his nose, Wickham was attempting to stand up.
"A threat. I did not expect anything else of you. Since we are at it, what was your aim in coming to the wedding?"
"I am related to the Bennets through my lovely young wife, I only thought it civil to wish my sister happiness upon her betrothal."
"Let's talk business, Wickham. What do you want from me."
"How is little Georgiana? I have not seen her, though I heard she accompanied you. You deprived your little sister of her rightful happiness, by preventing our little union. I can not speak for her, but you did me a great wrong in interrupting, what else would have led to a blissful marriage. I am here to claim my compensation."
"I thought as much. Blackmail. What, if I refuse to pay you out once more?"
"Poor Georgiana, not yet out but bad rumours overshadowing her future. I am sure she will anyhow get a husband, but who of the decent families would want to connect themselves to a man-hunting hussy."
This time Darcy's fist hit Wickham's left eye.
Wickham was now fuming with rage, before he could make a move towards Darcy, his opponent held up a hand.
"Listen carefully, for I will not repeat myself. You have pushed me over the limit, I am no longer prepared to be threatened by you at any time you choose. I will no longer be paying you for your silence. Breathe one word of your planned elopement with Georgiana to the public and I will make it publicly known, that you succeeded and that you are indeed still married to my sister. This would make you a bigamist."
Wickham laughed, shaking his head.
"What do you say, Wickham, I believe the sentence for that is deportation is it not, or was it the gallows? Believe me, I have the money and connections to produce the required papers to prove such a connection. I would rather sacrifice my sister this way than risk you spreading any rumours."
"You would never do it. No one would believe you."
"Try me. I trust your good judgment, you know exactly whom society would believe more. And better a married sister, with a possible annulment than rumors that would never be fully removed."
Darcy saw that his words had indeed impressed Wickham, he had been right then, Wickham always had been rather cowardly.
"I am not sure, if after our little discussion you want to remain here. Feel free to do so, for I will travel back to town, trusting that after we have now clarified our positions, you will never contact me again. Do you understand me."
Wickham being more intimidated by Darcy's unusual behaviour than he wanted to admit to himself, only nodded. Pressing his handkerchief on his face, he watched Darcy enter the ballroom.
Darcy was still a bit shaken, from what he had done right now. He could not believe his luck, but it seemed his plan had worked out. He adjusted his eyes to the brightness of the room and once again his eyes searched for her. Alas, there she was again, dancing with his cousin. Maybe it was for the best that he had decided to leave whatever the outcome of his conversation with Wickham. Darcy knew, it would not be easy to get through tomorrow always having to watch her smiling at someone else. Stop tormenting yourself, you are obviously too late, better make a clear cut, not letting her get near you anymore than you could handle. These were thoughts as he approached his cousin to inform him of his departure.
Darcy took his leave of a very surprised Elizabeth, for she had hoped that his scheme might allow him to stay. Bingley was of course disappointed, that his friend would not be there on the day of his greatest happiness, but nevertheless wished him a good journey. Richard had gone to fetch Georgiana and Mrs. Annesley. As he took leave of Darcy outside the carriage, Darcy told him of his meeting with Wickham.
"But why are you leaving then, everything seems to be resolved."
"I think it is for the best. Although Georgiana is displaying a brave face, I do not believe she is up to a full day in Wickham's company and there is an end to it. By the way, Miss Bennet asked me about Ramsgate, you may tell her the details, she deserves it, she was very concerned about Georgiana."
"As you wish, cousin. Have a safe journey."
"Thanks to the full moon, I am sure, we will, good-bye, Richard."
Chapter 14
Longbourn,
The Wedding Reception,
Early December 1812
The wedding most people had nervously anticipated was over, the couple had been sent on their way and just a few friends of the family remained. Lydia and her husband had vanished as soon as the wedding was over, although it had been their intention to outstay their welcome on Mr. Bennet's expenses for at least a fortnight. No one seemed to have a rational explanation as to their premature departure other than what they had stated as an excuse. No one suspected that their excuse was just a poor try to disguise the real cause, no one expect Lizzy and the colonel. But they would not own their suspicion as to the why of the pair's departure or the why of Wickham's swollen face.
Wickham himself had declared his injuries to be resulting from a fall caused by the trunk of a tree, while walking in Mr. Bingley's garden. It were not many besides the two who knew, who doubted his story, among them the always perceptive Mr. Bennet and the Gardiners. These three people were also nearly the only wondering as to the real cause for the over-hasty departure of the Darcys. Especially Madeleine Gardiner observed her favourite niece closely, trying to discern the effect the absence of a certain handsome, tall, dark man had on her. She noticed a certain nervousness in Elizabeth but was not certain whether to blame it on the wedding and her role as maid of honour or on Darcy's early departure. There was also a hint of restlessness about her, something to be observed very seldom with a healthy Lizzy.
Mrs. Bennet was mourning the loss of two of her favourite daughter's and even more regretting the fact that three of her daughters still remained unmarried. Hence she was watching with pleasure and a fluttering heart - not to mention her fluttering nerves - as Colonel Fitzwilliam approached Elizabeth. After a short conversation both went outside for a little stroll in the garden.
Both of them had been very quiet all over the day. Elizabeth could not help contemplating the reasons for Mr. Darcy's escape, although everything seemed to have been resolved. Was he really thinking of his sister's feelings in this or was he merely acting for his own peace of mind. Maybe he was even now congratulating himself on his lucky escape. She was almost certain that he wanted nothing to do with her now, not with Wickham being her brother-in-law.
Richard on the other side was nervous and had been acting a bit over-energetic during the wedding reception, making new acquaintances, talking and joking with everyone, avoiding and delaying the one encounter he both feared and hoped for. As more and more guests took their leaves he knew, he could not longer postpone it without seeming rude in outstaying his welcome. He had to speak with her, had to ask her about her feelings, had to tell her in return about his and had to ask the one question, which answer would change his life forever either way.
'You must be very happy for your sister,' Richard said once they were safely outside ear- and eyeshot of the house.
'Yes, she deserves to be the luckiest woman in Hertfordshire. But I will miss her.' Elizabeth looked up and for a moment their eyes locked. What she saw in the colonel's eyes made her heart miss a beat and she stopped breathing. Blushing she looked away. Oh, no, this could not be.
The pause grew awkward. Elizabeth knew she would have to say something soon.
'I meant to thank you for your courage and energy in bringing about the match between Lydia and Mr. Wickham, ' Elizabeth acknowledged the colonel's uneasiness and continued, 'do not blame my father for revealing your actions to me, I only wish they were known by the rest of my family. If it had not been for you, I know not what would have become of Lydia or of the rest of us.'
'Miss Bennet, I do not blame your father. I acted as honour dictated, it was only just that my family, who in a way was responsible for your sister's elopement would have to pay the consequences,' Richard hesitated for just a moment, this was his chance his cue, 'But I had another interest in helping your family. If you want to thank me, let it be for yourself alone. I only thought of you--', he was stopped in his speech by her hand on his arm.
'Colonel Fitzwilliam, before you proceed any further and come to regret it, let me tell you how much I have come to admire your integrity and loyalty towards the people you care for, be it family or friends. I am very glad that I was able to get acquainted with this side of your character. I have a very high regard for you as a friend and your friendship means very much to me.' Elizabeth observed him, trying to discern whether he had caught her meaning. Richard had of course, but he would not give up, give her up without a fight.
'But do you not think mutual regard and friendship to be the fundament of any deeper relationship--', again he was interrupted by Elizabeth. This time she had stopped, forcing him to do likewise since her hand was still on his arm.
Elizabeth did not like what she would have to do, to say to make him understand. She did not love him, but as a friend, she did not want him to suffer any longer. She had to destroy his hopes at once and for all. She looked him straight in the eye.
'Maybe this regard would be enough, had my heart not been otherwise engaged. And although I know there is little hope that my feelings will ever be returned, I can not betray yours by feigning emotions on my part that are not there. I truly hope we can still remain friends.' The moments this last sentence left her lips she knew with absolute certainty that she had lost him, lost his friendship for good.
'You said quite enough. I am sorry, if I thought that you regarded me with other feelings than friendship, and I regret that by this I might have endangered our friendship. My feelings will not change so soon as to allow us to meet again without awkwardness. I am sorry.' Richard managed to bow and to appear calm and civil, he turned, went inside the house to take his leave. He got his horse and rode to Netherfield to pack his belongings.
All this was done mechanically while his mind, his heart was in turmoil. How could he have misjudged the situation thus, he should have regarded her feelings earlier, before making a fool of himself, before risking the one precious thing they did have, regard, friendship. He had wanted so much more than that and now he would never be able to go back to square one. How could he ever face her again without acknowledging all he had hoped for, all he had ever wanted. He had put his stakes high, had risked all and had lost everything it was that simple.
Elizabeth stayed in the garden long after the sun had vanished and the moon bathed the shrubbery in a silver light. Had she made the right decision. Three proposals in one year, not even she dared to hope for more. Maybe Mr. Collins's had not been entirely right by his statement that she might not receive any further proposals, but she could not stop thinking that this might have been the last she would ever receive. Now, as she had come to the conclusion that she would have wished for a renewal of the second offer, she knew it was almost hopeless. Perhaps she should have accepted the colonel he was kind, maybe his love was suffice for them both, but no, not for her.
She had long resolved in marrying for love alone. She now knew what it was to love and to love in vain. She could not believe that she would feel the same love for any other man that she felt for Mr. Darcy. Yes finally she admitted it to herself. She had grown to love him and had taken her time in doing so.
You are in love with a vision, with a man who does not remember you, a man who is not himself. What if he changes back to his old haughty self. Somehow she could not be convinced by this voice of reason. Had she not recently seen her own convictions tumbling down? Had she not have been so hurt by his remark - a remark never meant for her ears - she might have long ago seen him for what he was, a somehow shy young man with many responsibilities and few real friends, of that she was now certain.
If she could not have him, she would not want anyone else.
She brushed aside a little tear, running down her cheek, and entered the house. She hoped that her mother could be convinced that nothing had occurred between her and the colonel. Unthinkable what her mother's nerve would suffer, were she to know of the two other proposals her daughter had received and had not accepted.