Beginning, Previous Section, Section IV, Next Section
Chapter 29
Author's note: I have realised some time ago that I have made a terrible faux pas. A couple chapters back Jane & Charles land on an island on their way to Puerto Rico. Paco's opinions of Puerto Rico are supposed to mirror his "local patriotism", but are not my own, please forgive me this blunder. As for acknowledgments: in this chapter I am using a song by Sarah Maclahlan, a Canadian singer; and again ER; the book Darcy was reading to Georgiana in the previous chapter was "The Little Prince" by Antoine de Saint-Exupery.
He was driving to his flat, slowly, being afraid to cause Elizabeth pain. In his thoughts he returned to that moment in the hospital when he realised he loved the woman sleeping on the front seat of his car. It was just the same when my mother died. I always knew I loved her but I never felt it. She was my mother and… then in the hospital, the night that she died, I realised the feeling of love for her was always in me… deep inside, I just didn't know it. It was the same with Elizabeth. Well, not the same but similar. I wanted her physically, but I hardly thought about feelings. I didn't know I loved her until the moment she was almost gone, until I almost lost her. The stopped the car. They were at home.
Elizabeth sighed in her sleep, she was very comfortable, although a bit cold. There was a source of warmth right behind her. She felt it on her neck, along her back and also on her stomach. She considered that the new blanket was worth its price - it felt magnificent. She turned around to the opposite side to bury her face in it. She embraced it tightly. She frowned - instead of soft and fluffy it was bulky and quite massive, but still very comforting. She tried to hide her face in it and at least cover her legs with it.
At that moment William Darcy opened his eyes and found himself enfolding tightly Elizabeth Bennet who on the verge of waking up was making purring sounds like a kitty. He saw their legs tangled together, felt her breath on his chest. His hand was....under his pyjama top that he dressed her in last night, instinctively stroking her soft skin. Before he managed to move away, Elizabeth decided to open one eye of hers to straighten the blanket that seemed to roll during the night and was not giving her enough warmth. What she saw in front of her eyes definitely did not look like a blanket. She opened both eyes to examine it closer. In amazement she starred at something that looked like a man's chest. Then she felt something heavy like a hand on her back. In disbelief she looked up straight into ...... William Darcy's face who was observing her with his eyes wide open, a hint of self-satisfied smile playing on his lips. She froze and screamed, "W...ww...what....??!!??!!" in panic desperately trying to get out of his embrace. He was not very helpful. "W...wwww...wwwhat are you doing here??!!!!! " She threw his arm away and tried to back off as far away as possible. She was pulling the sheet to cover herself with it. She groaned and blushed furiously when it started sliding off William's body. She stopped pulling it. Ohhhhh My Lord!!!!!! .............Ohhhhhhh My........ Life is like a game; some win, some lose, some even change the rules..... What have I done to deserve this????!!!!!!
"I live here." He answered. She wildly looked around trying to make out where she was, looking for a familiar furniture but none was to be found. Darcy propped himself up on an elbow and with a smile watched Elizabeth creep to the edge of the bed. Her hair has been strewn carelessly during the sleep, his pyjama was WAY TOO big for her and it was sliding off her arms, her cheeks were flushed. She looked as lovely as it was possible for someone who had stomach lavage the night before. Realising she did not remember anything of what happened, he finally spoke in a husked tone with smile still playing on his lips, "Hmmm, that's not exactly the reaction I would expect the morning after our FIRST night spent together." He joked but the apparent terror on her face unsettled him.
She was speechless, It is impossible!!! It cannot be!!!! I don't remember anything!!! He couldn't have!!!! I wouldn't have!!............I would not???!!!! she thought and in flashbacks her memory brought her the scrapes of conversation: 'It is me who you wanted to kiss, wasn't it?!!!? ..... Please take me away from here, please?? She let her head down, hiding her face behind her hair. "What has happened? What have you done?" She stole a glance at him from behind her curls and cast her eyes down again.
"I haven't done anything !!! Doug Ross did." He answered with much calm.
On hearing his answer her head popped up again, "Who the hell is Doug Ross?!.....How could you let him?....." her voice cracked as she gave out a frantic sob.
"If he didn't work fast enough, you would be dead by now."
"Maybe I would be better off then....." she tried to check her tears and asked, "What do you mean .... DEAD?"
He could not stand to see her so desperate, "You had been taking antibiotics and you mixed them with alcohol. If he didn't do stomach lavage, you would be dead by now!!!!"
"Stomach lavage?!? Oh my God!" she gasped, "I have made such a show of myself in front of all those people." She pulled her knees up, embraced them and hidden her face.
Darcy just starred at her hair. It was the first time she had it completely loose. He had no idea it was so long. Black ringlets almost reached her waist and thus covered her up completely. He swallowed, "They didn't notice how we left. There were other things happening at the moment, if I may remind you." He pulled himself up very slowly for he did not want her to get scared again.
"Why didn't you just take me home?" Elizabeth shook her head trying not to glance at him which she was finding very hard to execute.
"Jane is ..... hmm....away with Charles and Charlotte wasn't home when I called. And I don't know your parent's telephone number. Yet."
Elizabeth wasn't sure how to take the last word, as a threat or a promise. "You could have left me at the hospital!!!!"
"There was no such need. I could very well take care of you myself."
"You didn't have to pity me!!!!" Why did you really do this? A nice farewell, last obligation to someone you're getting rid off?
"I didn't pity you!!" he was losing patience. He folded his arms crossing them on his chest.
Lizzy bit her lower lip seeing his muscles play under the olive-coloured skin of his. Get a grip! What are you? A teenager with a crush on captain of basketball team? "Of course not, you don't have compassionate feelings, your conscience must have been biting you. Thank you very much for saving my life, that is redemption enough for all the humiliation I had to bear from you. If you would not mind, I would not like to disgrace myself in front of you any more. I am going home."
"I don't think so."
"Don't you think you are going to make me stay here and finish what we did not do, because I was not conscious!!!!!"
I wonder what would have happened if you were conscious... "I am not going to force anything on you. I never had to force anything on women."
It's a dead end, Lizzy, and you know it as well as he does. One touch and you would submit yourself willingly. You cannot give him this satisfaction. Not after he treated you like a slut. "You used it that I was all drugged up. You have slept with me!"
"I have slept next to you, and only because you had fever and kept calling out during the night... I had to watch out if everything was all right...." He still did not tell her that he was dressed.
"I don't care. You could have at least put on some clothes."
"I have used them on you. That pyjama of mine looks much better now." He smiled and shifted. He remembered his own embarrassment when he was undressing her last night. He hesitated, but she would be too uncomfortable sleeping in her clothes. The sheet slipped dangerously close to his abdomen.
He undressed you!!!! He... he saw you almost naked!!!! Elizabeth opened her eyes widely and starred at him transfixed. He was getting up, Oh God he is probably without any clothes! I just have to get out of here. He reminded her of puma - slow, kind of sleepy movements, but the body and the work of muscles revealed all its might and potential. She jumped out of the bed, Just get as far from him as possible
"I have told you that you are not going anywhere." He commented with a laugh on her rush.
"You will not order me around!!" she screamed and two steps further away from the bed her head spun, her heart sunk down to her stomach and her stomach........felt like a black hole. She was overwhelmed by weakness and fell on the floor. Lizzy heard sheets rustle and she knew William was getting up. She squeezed her eyes shut tight. The talking and sudden rush exhausted her too much. Just don't open your eyes. He is exhibiting himself in front of you. You cannot give him this satisfaction. Pretend you have seen many things of the kind.
"Elizabeth, open your eyes." he commanded.
"You are just a nightmare, you are just a voice in my head. I will wake up in a moment, and it will be just a bad dream." she murmured to herself.
He gave a heavy sigh and next thing Elizabeth knew was that she was carried back to the bed. She opened her eyes to find her nose in the vicinity of the gorgeous chest again. She felt warm and giddy. It felt as if his hands were leaving burning marks on her skin. "Put me down!" she demanded.
"NO WAY." He enjoyed being protective towards her, not to mention other sensations and feelings when he was holding her small form in his arms and when her silky hair slipped between his fingers.
"Let go off me!" she squeaked. She tried to squeeze her hand into a fist to hit him, and with surprise discovered that she was too weak to do even this. She was so weak that instead of a slap, she gave his chest a stroke. He put her down on the bed. Lizzy's eyes slid along the man standing next to the bed who had just carried her as if she was some puppy. With a surprise she noticed that he was actually wearing a pair of jeans. In that moment she felt it again - her stomach obviously had awakened and it hurt like hell. She curled up trying to relieve her suffering a bit.
"You are not going anywhere. You are too weak to go to the bathroom by yourself, and your home is absolutely empty right now."
"That's not true! Charlotte must be there. She will come and pick me up." She weakly tried to oppose him. The burning sensation in her belly made her forget about dignity and she whined helplessly closing her eyes so they would not reveal the pain.
"I tried calling her but no one picked up the phone." He stated and knelt on the bed. He moved the pillows, gently pulled Elizabeth up and covered her up with blanket. He let his hand linger on her face when he moved the stray curls away. "Just relax. It will be fine." He took off to the kitchen. A couple of minutes later he came back with a steaming mug. Elizabeth looked at him suspiciously.
"It is only mint and chamomile tea. It will do you good." He gave her reassuring smile. William was letting her drink it in small sips holding the cup for her. "There", he said when she finished it all, "just lay down and rest." He was about to leave.
She squeaked, he looked at her, "I'll be back in a second. Just get a bit more decent and prepare some baby food for you." He came back in a flash pulling on a white T-shirt. He turned on some music. He was not sure of her taste, so he played Georgiana's favourite - Sarah Maclahlan.
Your glass is empty,
it's a hell of a long way home.
Why don't you let me take you?
It's no good to go alone.
I never would have opened up
but she seems so real to me.
And after all the bu*&^%it
I have heard it is refreshing not to see.
I don't have to pretend.
She doesn't expect it from me.
Don't tell me I haven't been good to you.
Don't tell me I have never been there for you.
Don't tell me why nothing is good enough.
"Elizabeth, why don't you get some sleep now? I will stay with you until you fall asleep."
The soft ballad continued:
Hey little girl would you like some care?
Your mama said it's OK..
The door is open, come on outside.
No I can't come out today.
It's not the wind that cracked your shoulder
and threw you to the ground.
Who's there that makes you so afraid,
You are shaken to the bone.
I don't understand,
you deserve so much more than this.
So just let me try and I will be good to you.
Just let me try and I will be there for you.
I'll show you why you're so much more than good enough.
"Whatever," she murmured sleepily, pressing her cheek to the pillow. He sat close to her on the bed and stroked her hair.
"I don't have to pretend, she doesn't expect it from me. Just let me try and I will be there for you. Just let me try and I will be good to you. I'll show you why you are so much more than good enough." He sang along but she was already asleep, oblivious to his declarations. He lowered the music and went out, taking her suit to the dry laundry. He was on his way back when the window shop in the condominium attracted his attention. He pondered upon it for a while he then took a deep breath and went inside.
Upon coming back William settled himself on the armchair close to the bed. He threw his legs over the side of the chair. He placed the book on his lap and tried to read. Soon however his book had been forgotten and he stared at the girl on the bed. The past overwhelmed him once more.
Eight Years Earlier
William stormed out of the house and ran to his car. It has been two years since his mother's death, and he still could not get over the fact. Neither could his father, or at least it seemed so until today. In the morning Will found him embracing sister of his best friend, almost making out with her in the library. Caroline Bingley came along with her brother to stay at Pemberley for two weeks time. She was two years older than they were, but she behaved as if she was much younger. The couple had not seen him. At least he assumed so. He could not have known that Caroline noticed him. Having a choice between George and William, she decided on the younger one. And that was the only reason why she took him for a walk in the evening.
As soon as they were away from the house she burst in tears and told him that his father harassed her. That she did not want to hurt the old man who has lost a wife, she just wanted to comfort him. She did not know he would take advantage of her. She did not want it to happen again. William was shocked, not only had his father slandered the memory of his mother, but he had also imposed himself on a sister of his best friend. He would not let it be, which was exactly what Caroline hoped for.
He rushed back to the house to confront his father. He did not tell him he talked with Caroline, she asked for his secrecy. The old man denied everything, he claimed she was the one that imposed herself. He had been so lonely for those two years and he was very much taken with her.... William could not bring himself to believe him. He witnessed at least some of it with his own eyes. After the initial shock of having his son address him in such a manner, George Darcy shut him off by saying that this is a private matter between him and Miss Bingley who is old enough to decide for herself. His reproof William would never forget, "Why don't you try to follow the example of George Wickham? Why do you have to be so harsh, unpleasant and judging towards people?!"
A comparison to an old friend of his, now one of his greatest enemies hurt him more than he could bear. "Even my own father despises me, and the worst scumbag has more worth in his opinion than I," he thought when he rushed out of the house, taking Georgiana and his friends to visit the Matlocks in Scotland. He never spoke to his father again. They never reconciled. Upon arrival in Scotland the news of his father's sudden death reached them.
How could I be so naive as to put Caroline Bingley's word against my father's? I have been putting up with her ever since, believing I have to redeem my father's doings to her......
Just then Lizzy woke up and was watching him intently. There was an expression of great disgust on his face. As his eyes had been fixed on her, she took it personally and she felt so humiliated. He knows now how vulnerable I am, how easily I would give in. And he despises me for that. He must be so glad that I have refused him.
"What are you reading?" she dared to question him from the bed.
"Just some manual on how to make out your character and to deal with it." He grinned to her only now noticing she was awake.
"Oh really? How is it titled? "100 reasons why women are superior and 100 reasons why you find it hard to admit it?""
"Not exactly. This one is not about women in general, it is about you." Will saw that she was in a bad mood again.
"Where did you get hold of my diary?" she asked ironically.
"It's a classic - William Shakespeare "The Taming of the Shrew". I recommend it to your further studies. You will know what you have to change in your behaviour." He tried to be playful and mocking, but she was taking his words very seriously.
"Listen, you do not have to trouble yourself so much. Just give me a big enough blanket to wrap around me, and I will be gone. I would be more than happy to relieve you of my presence." She jumped on the bed trying to get out from the sheets. She already felt much better.
"Just as I thought. A kitty is getting hungry and is in a bad mood. I guess it is time to feed you." He has left the room again ignoring her request.
How does he dare to make fun of me!!! she snorted to herself. He never joked with me, he always reproached my ridiculing of things. I am sure he is doing it just to show me how low he has to stoop to get to my level!
Darcy came back with a plate of steaming baby food and a spoon. He handed it to Lizzy who put it on her lap and looked at it with disgust. He stood by and watched her. "What is wrong?"
"I won't eat it. It looks nauseating."
"That is the only thing you are permitted to eat today."
"I don't want it," she said stubbornly.
He gave her an amazed look. "Listen, through your own carelessness you have got yourself in this situation, so don't give me this." He sat down next to her and picked up the spoon. He took some of the white mixture, cooled it down and put it to her mouth. It was shut tightly in one line. As he drew near, she would twist her head in another direction. "Give it up Elizabeth. I won't let you out of this bed until you have eaten something."
She pushed his hand away. He tried once more. The game continued to the point where Elizabeth pushed his hand quite energetically and splashed the food on his T-shirt. William raised one eyebrow and looked at her quizzically. He leaned back to take off the T-shirt and unwaveringly continued his attempts to feed Elizabeth. When she pushed his hand once more, splashing another spoon of the white stuff on him, he lost his patience. "You should definitely read some Shakespeare. It would teach you something about paying respect to your hus.... man."
With his brows furrowed he continued, "I agree that this stuff looks disgusting but you just cannot imagine through what pains I will have to go while explaining to my cleaning lady why every single item in my kitchen is smeared with it, so please be so nice and eat."
"You are not a man."
He looked at his bare chest then at her again, "I will have to prove it to you some time later, I guess, if I am not convincing right now."
She coloured, "I mean you are not my man."
"I will deal with that later too. Eat."
Chapter 30
"........You have managed to fool me, but I want you to know that you are going to pay an appropriate price for your scheme. I will not take any whimsies, you are to be my wife in the full meaning of this word and judging from your kisses it is going to work out just fine." His voice sounded loud and clear in Elizabeth's memory. Oh yeah? We always get what we want? Let's make it a saucy and steamy romance. She resists? Let's force her into marriage, make her think it is all her fault. She is too clever for that? Let's play a prince on a white horse hurrying to her rescue... no it's not funny enough, let's capture her in a tower, that is my bed.... How many cheap tricks like that are you going to try on me? She opened her mouth to draw breath and say something, but William used the opportunity and stuffed her mouth with a whole spoon of "the white thing".
"Here you go, good girl. This one was for mom." She swallowed with some difficulty and opened her mouth again just to have it quickly stuffed with yet another portion, "And this one goes for daddy", continued William ignoring her furious looks and the daggers in her eyes. "And one for Jane and Charlie", he said, the spoon approaching her face again.
"How about one for George Wickham?!!!!!!!" she hissed twisting her head.
Darcy paled and dropped the spoon back on the plate. He looked at her incredulously and she boldly starred back. You are still giving him the credit?!!! After everything I told you?!!!, the thought rang in his head, but he was too shocked to actually say it. For a moment there was a terrible silence, and it felt as if his heart came to stop and then the sound of blood throbbing in his veins almost deafened him. He won again. He always does.... The silence grew. At first Darcy hoped that he mistook her meaning, but as the silence continued, he came to realise that a death sentence to his love was really announced.
Lizzy's daring expression started to dwindle a bit, when she saw flushes of emotions in his eyes. She was confused. She forced a cough to hide her embarrassment. When she lifted up her head again, she was not sure if what she saw in his eyes a minute ago was not a phantom of her imagination and weakness. His brown eyes were piercing her, but the look was hollow and blank. She shrugged at his icy stare, only now realising how much warmth his eyes held before......before she had said what she said. Suddenly it was all very strange and awkward. A voice in her head pounded, something is wrong, wrong, wrong..... Elizabeth tried to block out the feeling of guilt and shame, He deserved it. He did, she tried to convince herself, He did everything he could to show you how unworthy you are to even work for him, he called you a slut. And he offended your family. And he used Wickham in most abominable way. And he managed to get away with his financial machinations. This was a right thing to say. You should have dragged him to court.
He finally spoke, "I don't care any longer, if you keep this gentleman in any esteem. I have tried to prevent his maliciousness, but if you still credit him with your confidence, after I had laid before you whole of my accounts with him, then I can only wish you happiness and I can only hope he won't hurt you." His voice grew colder with every word. They were both startled by the sound of the door bell. Darcy stopped abruptly and got up. Elizabeth opened her mouth to say something but a gesture of his silenced her, "I believe you have said quite enough Miss Bennet," with that he left the room and as much as he tried to temper himself, he could not stop himself from slamming the door.
"What do you mean by laying before me your accounts with him?!!!! You weren't even bloody bothered to apologise me for your insulting proposal!!!!!" screamed Elizabeth but it was lost in the noise the door made.
Darcy with a heavy heart wandered through his apartment in the direction of the door. He realised his chest was only "dressed up" with a certain amount of the baby food so he stopped to grab some shirt to put on. It gave him some time to collect himself. When he finally made it to the door and opened it his jaw "fell to the floor". Charlotte Lucas was standing there with Rich enfolding her tightly from the back. There was an expression of sheer happiness and pleasure on her face as Colonel busied himself with her neck. Darcy leaned on the door and observed them with envy. They remained oblivious too his presence.
He decided to interrupt them, "Eghm, eghm, You rang?"
With evident embarrassment Charlotte opened her eyes and tried to rid herself of Richard's arms. He was not letting her go. He grinned to Darcy, "Yes, dear cousin, some time ago. But I've already forgot about it. What took you so long?" Richard noticed his cousin's baffled and bitter expression.
"It's a big apartment," came the reply in somewhat grave tone of voice. "I can only be happy, I was in the bedroom not in the bathroom. If I gave you some more time my neighbours would kindly ask me to move out." He noticed that Charlotte was very anxious, so he winked at her and said with a small smile, "I'm delighted to see you again Miss Lucas. I'm sure you are very eager to see your friend." And I am eager for you to take her away. I have been a fool to hope she might return my feelings. He showed them inside.
"Mr. Darcy?" asked Charlotte, "How is Elizabeth?"
"You'll see for yourself in a minute. She is much better than the doctor predicted, and much worse than she herself expected. Ending up with me in one flat was the last thing that she wished for evidently. With a stomach ache to sauce things up," he answered indifferently, leading them down the corridor.
On hearing that, Charlotte and Richard exchanged surprised glances. When Charlotte played the message William left on the answering machine, she of course freaked out and started blaming herself for everything. Rich already found a very nice and pleasurable way of quieting her--he sealed her mouth with a kiss and some time later explained to her there were very few things Darcy would like more than to be of service to her friend. Fitzwilliam knew William Darcy all his life and he was very happy to see how a certain Elizabeth Bennet threw him off the pedestal on which he was placed by other women. Rich did not envy him the position. He knew Darcy deserved a place on the stand for all he has gone through and achieved. It just turned out this way that he agreed to stay there for the wrong reasons. He took up too much of what other people thought him to be, even if it was unconsciously done, even if he always boasted how indifferent others' opinions were to him.
Darcy gestured at the door, and Charlotte gave a questioning look to Fitzwilliam.
"You go and help Lizzy, I'll wait for you here," he said understanding her meaning at once.
Elizabeth checking out her tears was starring at the dark clouds hanging low in the sky. It seemed they would crush down on Earth any minute. She tossed in the bed on hearing the door open. Never in her whole life had she been as happy and relieved to see Charlotte Lucas.
Seeing her worried and worn out face Carl exclaimed, "Lizzy, what have you done to yourself?!!!"
"Don't ask. Can we please just go away from here? I don't think I can stand it any longer," whined Elizabeth.
The pale face of her friend and dark circles under her eyes did not surprise Charlotte as much as the desperate tone of Elizabeth's voice and the absolutely mortified look on her face. "Fine, I'll make you confess everything once we get back home anyway. You cannot imagine how worried I was when I got Darcy's message," she teased Lizzy with her newly acquired boldness.
Elizabeth definitely did not like the prospect of confessing to her friend the pleasures of the morning awakening. It's hilarious anyway. Here I am, tucked in William Darcy's bed, dressed in his pyjama. Patronised on the occasion.....At least no one knows he slept with me tonight.
"How did it go?" asked Fitzwilliam shooting a glance at a silent Darcy who was starring through the window, which was already in itself a sign that something had gone wrong. He picked up a cup only to find that it was smeared with some weird white stuff. He picked up another one with a similar defect. He looked around the kitchen noticing there were few things NOT smeared with the mysterious mixture. Darcy has been cooking again.... Impressive but nonetheless disaster as usual. He thought and sighed; he washed a cup and poured himself some coffee--the only "Darcy kitchen" product you could trust.
"Richard, you sound as if you have planned the whole thing. Stop boasting so much," William turned to get himself some coffee as well, though immediately returning to his post by the window.
"I did not plan it. I just had to help your luck a bit by going out earlier."
"It was quite stupid of you. I dare say that if Caroline found Elizabeth on the balcony floor she would simply leave her there and bolt the door in order not to spoil her party. She hates when she's not in the centre of attention."
"All right, you know it was a pure luck that Elizabeth got sick. By the way, how did Caroline like her present?" Fitzwilliam chuckled.
Darcy cringed at the remembrance, "I have to say that it was a very childish revenge on my side. I should have come up with something more refined or even better. I should not have gone down to her level at all. BUT on the other hand, it was a gorgeous view, especially when she splashed her face in the cake."
Richard almost choked with his coffee and gasped, "I hope she had a photographer on guard. I would love to see the pictures."
"I don't think you will ever have that pleasure. I am sure Caroline ordered a strip-search to make sure no one had a camera hidden under their clothes."
"You would have been the first and only victim of hers, I guess. She is going to skin you to death when she finds out it was your doing. I'm not at all surprised you left early."
"Yeah, sure, Elizabeth Bennet is dying on me and the only reason I am going out of the party is out of fear that Caroline wishes to strip me..." Darcy was certainly in no mood for joking.
"Hmmm, let's sum it up. Miss Bennet is the only woman who was able to confuse, puzzle and challenge you. Not to mention the fact that she is pretty, not in the common way, but still pretty. You offend her continually, and then you try to seduce her."
"I did not try to seduce her!" Darcy interrupted Rich in an irritated voice. This is already bad enough. And I did not tell him about my proposal either, nor about Wickham. Had he known, he would have stoned me....
"Try to see it from her perspective. You try to seduce her, in front of people, as if to demonstrate how overwhelming your passion is. I hear some quite interesting accounts of your behaviour from Bingley, and it's obvious at least for me and him that you care about her, but you don't want to admit how very much taken you are with her. Now, finally I myself and of course the Omnipotent provide you with a one and only opportunity to show her that you do care, so tell me what did you screw up this time."
"Pretty much everything. That sums it up really well, Fitzwilliam," said Darcy hanging his head low. But I tried to redeem to her my mistakes, didn't I?
The fact that his "always knowing better" cousin did not protest troubled Richard beyond belief. Something was really wrong. "Darcy, I am amazed. I suppose I underestimated the effect Miss Bennet has on you--you actually admit making a mistake. You two are absolutely perfectly suited for each other."
William smiled bitterly, "You are right again, Rich, she is perfect. She has this one blemish though that ruins the prospects of any kind of relationship."
"You're an absolute moron if you let one meaningless detail spoil it!!"
"She is almost perfect. And she prefers someone else instead," Darcy turned his back to stare through the window again.
Colonel fell silent. Of all the things this was what he expected the least. "But why?" he stammered finally.
"As Miss Bennet put it--her resentment of me is so great that not even the esteem in which she used to hold me as professional would induce her to work with me. Not to mention anything else."
"I can't believe it. Certainly this cannot be true. You explained yourself to her, did you not?"
"I wrote to her almost immediately after I came back to my senses after the article. We never spoke of it again."
"Then how do you know how she feels about it?"
"She made it quite obvious that she did not believe a word of what I wrote. And I don't intend to beg her to explain to me why."
"So what are you planning to do?"
"I think I should like to go to Pemberley for a while. I don't have any pending cases on me right now and Bingley should be back this Monday. Of course this is going to leave you a bit less time to woo Miss Lucas. Tell me, wasn't she engaged to Aunt Catherine's protégé, Mr. Collins?"
"In fact she still is engaged to him," said Fitzwilliam with a pert smile.
"You don't mean to tell me that you seduced her and that you are inclined to keep it going after her marriage?!!!!!" Darcy was seriously raged at his cousin.
"No, I did not seduce her, YET. And yes I intend to keep it going after her marriage. In fact I am taking a lot of trouble to predispose her more favourably to her future husband," answered Rich with a teasing smile.
"Je&us, Rich, have you ever thought about something else except your own pleasures?"
"Now, Darcy, don't tell me you think marriage with Mr. Collins will be a source of utter happiness for Charlotte?"
William answered him with a sour smile, "While being your mistress will be the source?"
"I have never said I want her to be my mistress. She is still engaged to Mr. Collins and the wedding will take place but I have never said he will be the bridegroom. I think she needs some time to get used to the thought of me being her beloved...." answered Rich calmly taking another sip of coffee.
His cousin looked at him with his mouth open, looking quite dorky, "You will never cease to amaze me Richard. Of all the women...."
Rich cut him off, "She is the one that truly needs my affection."
Darcy sighed, "Congratulations, man! Of all the women you have finally picked the right one. She will love you most dearly, I am sure."
"She is going to need some convincing, but persuasion is my middle name, as you know."
"You did not tell her yet?"
"No, but I am determined to best Mr. Collins's record. She accepted him after a month of acquaintance. You know, in a sense, I pity the man. Aunt Catherine is going to be cruel when she finds out yet another woman escaped blessed state of matrimony with him. He should convert to Catholicism and he would not have that problem."
"Who had the privilege of being "the first choice"?" ridiculed William.
Fitzwilliam laughed, "He he, Elizabeth Bennet!"
Darcy stifled and looked at Rich incredulously. He composed himself and answered coldly, "At least she had brains enough to refuse him, but Mr. Collins is such an obvious idiot that it does not take a lot of consideration. I hope she'll be able to put her mind to work as well, when someone else tries his luck."
"Why do I have the feeling you have someone particular on your mind?" Richard inquired. Before he could hear the answer, Charlotte shyly appeared by the door. He gave her a saucy smile, "Are we ready for the take off?"
"Aye, aye, Colonel, I mean, almost. Hmm, Mr. Darcy, where are Elizabeth's clothes?"
"I took her suit to the dry cleaner but it's not ready yet."
"Well in that case, would you mind if we borrow the pyjama trousers as well?"
Now, Darcy was at length getting embarrassed, "Of course, it's not a problem at all. They are on the chair, next to the bed."
"Thank you," Charlotte smiled and retreated to the bedroom to attire Lizzy.
"Well, now Darcy, this is a reason good enough for Miss Bennet to get mad at you. What could you possibly mean by leaving her cloth-less?" asked Richard with a sparkle in his eyes.
A blush crept on William's face, "I dressed her in my pyjama."
Way to go Darcy! thought Fitzwilliam and cried out, "You dressed her!!!! And you survived without a scratch?"
"She was too drugged up at the time to do it herself. She does not remember anything of what has happened yesterday."
"And is there anything else worth remembering?"
"Stop it, Rich. I think they should be ready by now. I am sure she's anxiously waiting to leave the place, so why don't you have some mercy? Both on her and on me?....."
They left the battlefield of the kitchen and encountered the ladies getting dressed up in their coats in the corridor. Lizzy looked really cute, Darcy's green pyjama trousers dangled around her legs like a big sack. She tried pulling it up but her armpits was the highest she could get it. Richard and Charlotte chuckled at the view. Elizabeth paled on seeing William. This is soooo humiliating!!!!! She felt her stomach revolt again, which was understandable but she could not understand why her heart raced like a chased rabbit.
"Miss Bennet," he bowed his head slightly.
"Mr. Darcy. I am sorry for trespassing upon your hospitality for such a long time. I do want to thank you for your help, I am indebted to you." I hate myself for actually acknowledging that!!!!! But it needs to be done. He kind of....saved my life....
"Not at all, Miss Bennet," he replied with cold civility. There was awkward silence as both did not know what to say. Charlotte and Rich were intently observing the spectacle.
Lizzy nervously looked at her hands, "Shall we go? I am afraid Mr. Darcy has been putting up with my presence for long enough."
Under Fitzwilliam's scornful look William tried to think up some banal suitable for a farewell. "I... It has been quite a sport to host you Miss Bennet. I hope however that such occasion will not happen very soon....." By the admonishing look on Richard's face he knew he screw it up again. "I mean that you won't get sick again." Bad again. Lord, will this torture never end? "I hope you'll get well soon." That's better. Pleasant enough, no biases.
Charlotte mercifully ended it, "I'll see to that Mr. Darcy. Now I think we better get moving. Lizzy, can you manage the stairs?"
"Of course, it's not like it's Mount Everest," Elizabeth said in a small voice 'cos as she moved towards the door she felt dizzy again.
Finally the door closed behind the company. Darcy stood still. He placed his forehead on the cool surface of the door and clinched his hand into fist. It was over. He listened for a while, no thunder, no sound of a sudden earth quake, the world just went on. Only the noise of rain drops banging on the windows seemed to correspond with his grief. The sky was crying, the streets were full of its tears. He slowly walked back to the bedroom. He felt tired. He laid on the bed, but it smelled of Elizabeth. He buried his face in the pillow. I hoped for so much.... And I am left with nothing again. He remembered how in the hospital he prayed to God to save her, not for himself, just for her. And so He listened to my pleadings scrupulously, too scrupulously, he thought sarcastically. After a long time the soft whispers of rain washed away his fears and pain, and compassionately put him to a restless sleep.
Chapter 31
All the way home Lizzy pretended to be asleep. She saw questions in Charlotte's and Rich's eyes and she felt she would not stand answering them now. She needed to think. She needed to understand what had happened, not only right now, but what was happening with her life ever since she had met William Darcy. She thought, As papa would say "nothing is ever going to be the same again."...
Once they were back home Charlotte and Richard had tucked Elizabeth into bed, her own this time, without even letting her change to her own pyjama. Carl had brought her a cup of tea. Lizzy took a sip and she closed her eyes, feeling the familiar taste of mint and chamomile.
"So will you tell me why we practically had to run away from his flat?" asked Charlotte leaning on the wooden closet standing next to the bed.
"We did not run away. You simply came to pick me up, and we went. I was quite exhausted and in fact I still am. Besides I need to think a little. I still cannot believe that I almost died," came murmured reply from the bed.
"Hm, me neither, but it was YOU who applied herself antibiotics and drank alcohol, and HE was there and HE helped you."
Lizzy shot her friend a wild glance, obviously she did not like to be reminded of her own stupidity. She exclaimed, "Oh, Charlotte, you know how he treated me before!" and then she remembered that the only other person that knew of his proposal was Jane.
Carl shook her head and finally said, "What I know is the fact that if he hadn't been where he was last night, your name would most probably appear in the newspapers again, only this time in an obituary. I would not like to preach to you or anything, Lizzy. You know more of the world than I do, but how big is his fault that it lessens the fact that he saved your life?......" She looked intensely at Elizabeth who cast her head down and snivelled her nose. Charlotte felt sorry for her friend, "Oh, look what I've done. You are exhausted, and I am making you miserable. I shall leave you in peace now. But it is only postponing, you know it, don't you? There seems to be a problem, and you'll have to face it. Whatever it is, I want you to know that I'm here if you need me."
Elizabeth had tears in her eyes. She clung to Charlotte and embraced her tightly. "Thank you, Carl," she whispered and sank back in the pillows. Surprisingly enough she felt sleepy again. She put her hand to her mouth.
Charlotte laughed, "Lizzy get that hand away from your mouth!!! You are almost 24 years old, I thought you got over the thumb sucking some time ago!"
In spite of her exhaustion Lizzy tried to defend herself, "Well, you know, old habits persist. It is scientifically proven that children do it because it calms them down. And you sound like my mother: 'Elizabeth Bennet! Do you want me to buy you a baby's dummy?' and I was only ten years old then!"
Charlotte smoothed out the creamy blanket on the bed, "I would not be that cruel as to tease you. Once you fall asleep I'll smear your hands with some soap. Now, if you'll excuse me, you need to rest, and I need to get rid of Richard. And I need to cook up some food for you, unless as another old habit you are concealing some baby food in your closet."
Elizabeth immediately opened her eyes. She could not keep them closed, for the picture of baby food sliding down William Darcy's chest seemed to be etched there. Instead she got interested in the fact that Charlotte must have come back home the other day rather late, if she was not there when Darcy called in the night. And however self-concentrated her thoughts were, she noticed how Richard stroked Carl's hand in the car, when they were leaving. She propped herself up on the elbow and smiled knowingly, "Uhmmm, Charlotte, Colonel rather likes your company, if I am not mistaken..... How was your concert last night?".
Now it was Carl's turn to get embarrassed, "Just fine. And Colonel? He is kind of... persistent? Or dogged. Yes, this is the right word to describe him. Now, weren't you suppose to sleep?"
Elizabeth obediently closed her eyes, "You should not keep him waiting.... hee, hee, hee."
Not really knowing why, Charlotte smiled happily on her way to the kitchen. Richard was acquainting himself with the contents of the fridge. He was making sandwiches containing basically every edible thing that was to be found there.
"Don't tell me you're really going to eat it all!", laughed Carl as she noticed the huge size of the sandwich.
"It is yours, mine is bigger.", he grinned. "Did I hear correctly that you were talking about children?", he asked innocently, though the tone of his voice told Charlotte he would try her patience again.
She decided this time she would not let him work her into a corner. "Not really, but if you find the topic diverting, we may do so. I am exceedingly fond of children, and you Richard? Do you liked children?"
It is probable that most men in such situation would call for a truce, but Richard Fitzwilliam just flashed her a brilliant smile and said, "Children, why? I like children a lot, especially from the VERY beginning."
Charlotte groaned inwardly and snatched the plate with her sandwich. He knows where to hit!!! She moved to sit at the end of the table. Colonel joined her there with tea. "Why do I have the feeling as if something is following me?", she asked herself aloud.
"Ha, you certainly do not wish me to sit in the refrigerator?", he smiled stealing a piece of lettuce from her sandwich. After a while he got serious again, "I wonder what have they done to themselves? I hoped that the party would reconcile them, especially after Darcy's pay back for Caroline's article..."
"You mean to tell me that Caroline put her hands to work on the article? How do you know that?!!!", Charlotte put the sandwich back to the plate.
Richard gave a dramatic sigh, "You have some remembrances of the night when I first laid my eyes on you, and when you put your tongue to work to drive my ego down?"
She nodded, and for a while let her thoughts linger on the memories of their first meeting in the pub, And I can't believe where we've got to since then.. "So what had happened then?"
Richard, with much humour, reminded Charlotte about Caroline getting drunk, then he told her about the pictures. Then it was time to move on to Caroline's party.......
"What did you do?!!!!", Carl could not believe what she has heard.
"We invited some of her secretary's friends to do some dancing. I think she didn't quite like how the cake was splashed around, or maybe it was leather underwear and the collars that did the trick?", Richard chuckled, "I had to rely on William's account of what had happened 'cos I was off earlier to meet you."
"This is unbelievable!!! How could you? In front of all those people?!!!"
"Well, she certainly didn't have any scruples with sending the pictures to the newspaper....And then, you should have heard how she treated Elizabeth. She was slighting her in every possible way!"
"If Darcy or Elizabeth had a problem with that, they should have approached her directly!"
"I am not sure if it would give ANY positive results in this case. She would have never learnt that lesson.", Rich gave Charlotte a very doubting look.
She returned it, "And so you really think she did now? She was humiliated in her own house, in front of her guests..... it was mean, for sure, but if it was just, I simply don't know...."
He leaned forward and took her hand, "Charlotte, I don't know it, but you must, so tell me, how desperate was Elizabeth after the article was published? How just do you think it was that she had to quit her job? In this profession this kind of fame follows you.... And how just do you think it was for your friend to stand there and hear comments about Jane being only a fling for Charles and herself being a slob?"
She took her hand away and looked past him, "Richard, I do understand how distressing it must have been, but really..... I mean......", she faltered and lost her self confidence. She remembered how she woke up and heard Lizzy crying in her room, the night right after the publication. Elizabeth was proud and would not stand anybody pitying her, nor would she admit how hard it hit her.
Richard looked at Charlotte seriously, "Ugh, I should slowly get used to admitting you're right. I do get your point, it was not a very classy thing to do. William told me today he shouldn't have gone down to Caroline's level, that he is angry and ashamed with himself, that he doesn't know how to tell Bingley about it. But really, when I see what she's done to them...."
Charlotte gave a snort, "She was mean, but it's not like she had ruined their love at first sight!"
Fitzwilliam solemnly nodded his head, "I agree, maybe not at the first sight, but definitely at a second. All these years Darcy was considered Mr. Perfect in absolutely every aspect, and everyone was in such an awe of him. Well, he has been through a lot with his parents dying so early and all the responsibilities falling on him. He was determined to deal with everything; he would not allow himself a single mistake. He was always setting standards high for himself AND for others. Mind you it was a pain in the ass at times, especially when we were still at the university. The problem is that he was getting annoying, and in order to avoid the obnoxiousness of certain people surrounding him, especially women, he was drawn so much inside of himself that he didn't really notice other people and he stopped treating them as they deserved to be treated. You should have seen how Elizabeth clashed with him in the office."
"And you call this battlefield a love at a second glance?", teased him Charlotte.
He smiled, but his countenance changed as he spoke, "Yes my dear. And maybe I should have compassionate feelings for Caroline, but I cannot bring myself, like Darcy did, to admit that was beneath us, to say it was a mistake....I really thought it was going to work, but he was so changed when we came to pick up Elizabeth. HA!!! That reminds me of one thing I wanted to ask you!"
"What is it?"
"Is Elizabeth involved with someone?"
Charlotte was taken aback, "Well, ..... not really......I mean she goes out from time to time, but there isn't anything one could call a relationship, why are you asking?"
"Oh, nothing important I guess, it's just something William said about her preferring someone else.", he answered with an obviously plotting look on his face.
Carl shook her head disapprovingly, "Richard, you have said it yourself, Elizabeth has more reasons to dislike William than we know of......"
"Still I wish we could do something.", he said with regret, as he was concerned about his cousin and he rather liked the idea of him struggling to keep the lively Elizabeth Bennet under his control.
"But we can't!", cried out Charlotte. She was too dominated by her own family and too restrained to *proper* behaviour to think of inflicting any kind of schemes onto others. "We don't know what has been happening between them. We can have our suspicions and the scraps they choose to tell us, but I think they will have to sort it out by themselves. The probability that we would mess things up even more is simply too big."
They were sitting in a cozy kitchen, eating their king size sandwiches and drinking tea. The dusk was coming quickly outside, enveloping the city. Having let out all its anger in the storm, rain was now playing a quiet serenade on the window-sills, drowning the noise of a distant traffic. The big lamp hanging above the table was casting a friendly, yellow light on the two people sitting under it drawn in their conversation.
Once they were finished with the food Charlotte stood up and started cleaning the table. She brought the dishes to the sink and pulled up the sleeves of her sweater. Fitzwilliam went after her, rolling up his shirt's sleeves as well. "I'll help you with that.", he said, taking an apron and fastening it around Charlotte and himself. He tried to tie the ribbon at the back but he only managed a good marine knot.
Charlotte giggled, "Now don't think I'll just let you stand like this, doing God knows what behind my back!!!! Give me your hands!", she demanded.
She took his hands in hers, using them to work up some lather. Carl tried to focus on the cups and plates, but with Richard plastered to her back it was hard to concentrate. It became even harder once he decided to see to the collar bone of hers showing from under her sweater. She shivered, his hot kiss felt like an electric shock down her spine. Thoughts rumbled in her head while she tried to resist temptation, Why am I allowing this to happen??!!! Why did I agree to marry Mr. Collins? Because I thought there is no other love for me? And why is Rich doing it? Out of pity? He was very explicit about how he sees my future. Is he trying to show me what I will miss? I am getting his point...
She was in flames and her breath was quickening, "Richard....", she gasped as he completely took over and started spreading lather up to her elbows with delicate movements of his hands.
"Yes?", he murmured quietly to her ear, feeling of his breath sending more shivers through her. The plate slid out into water from their soapy hands.
The noise made by the dishes sobered Charlotte up, "No, Richard, please, we can't... I can't...", she turned around and reached behind him to free herself from the apron. The knot was unmistakably a professional one, ready to survive a storm of 8 degrees in the Beaufort scale. She fought it hysterically.
Rich took her face in his hands, "Carl, it's all right, shhhhh....... I am sorry, I did not mean to scare you....."
"You did not scare me!", she stammered out blushing furiously and manipulating with her hands at his back.
"That's better, that's my girl!", laughed Fitzwilliam and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. He stopped laughing when he saw her reach out for a knife with a wild determination in her eyes. Instincts of an old soldier prevailed over what he felt for her, and he tried to grip her hands, but she managed to slip out and reach to his back and.......
Chapter 32
.......cut the apron ribbons.
The apron fell on the floor and Charlotte nervously backed away from the man, "Richard, you must go!!!"
"Why? Are you expecting anyone at such a late hour?", he tried to approach her.
She disposed of the knife in the sink and said, "In fact I am waiting for Mr. Collins...."
Rich saw the lie, he was determined not to let her back out that easily, "Brilliant!!!", he exclaimed mockingly, "Capital!! I desperately want to meet him. I feel it's my duty to warn him with what kind of shrew he decided to live with."
Colours played on her face, flushes of red replaced by extreme paleness, "That's it!!!! I have had about enough!!!! In case you've forgotten HE wants to marry me, and he wanted to marry me when no one else would have me! And being faithful is the least I can do. Thanks to you I forgot about this last night. It was not my intention to give you such an impression and I am sorry you seem to be confused about that!!!!!!"
He was surprised at this outburst, he wanted to tell her he did not mean it that way, "But Charlotte!"
"Don't Charlotte me!! I think you'd better be going.", she cried and ran out of the kitchen.
"That's not how I planned it.", Rich muttered to himself. He decided Charlotte needed some time to calm down and he needed time to think. He cleaned up the broken plate and washed up the rest of the dishes. Having done his share, he searched for her.
Colonel found her sobbing on the sofa in the living room. He took a handkerchief and wiped her face. She was so much into crying that she submitted herself to his care without opposition. He embraced her, patting her on her back and making comforting noises, he sank back into the sofa. His shirt was getting wet and his heart was breaking when he listened to her cries.
"Charlotte, I know you're mad at me....", he started saying. She lifted her tear stained eyes and twisted her head negative. Fitzwilliam was surprised. After a while he spoke again, "All right, let me try again, I know you're mad at yourself." His hand stopped stroking her back, and he looked at her, she nodded.
"Now, you don't really want to marry him, do you?", he asked quietly.
In between her sobs she stammered out, "NO!" and burst in tears. At length she calmed down. Colonel pulled out another handkerchief. However embarrassing it was, she blew her nose, I prefer to be able to breathe than to be refined.
Richard smiled warmly and then decided to give it a try, "You know you don't HAVE TO marry him.....".
She looked at him with her eyes open wide. She opened her mouth to say something, but she didn't know what, so she closed it. She repeated the sequence some five times before she finally whispered, "You are right." And then she laughed, "I don't HAVE TO." She sat up straight, "I really don't have to!"
"Will you marry me then?", he smiled almost sure of his success.
To his very surprise Charlotte started laughing even more, "Of course not! Do you think me crazy enough to swap the complaisant reverend Collins for some monster in whose company I am not able to control myself?"
Richard could not believe it, She thinks I am joking! For once in his lifetime a woman had made him dumbfounded. It irritated him A LOT, and he also knew that was why he felt for her what he never felt for any other woman. He smiled weakly and took the hair pin from her, "It looks nicer that way", he said when her hair fell down.
"You are a real pest, you know?" the source of his irritation continued, "But thank you for making me laugh and for freeing me from the marriage chains I thought necessary."
He was ready for almost everything to have her as his wife, but he thought that maybe he rushed things a bit. She needs time, she won't slip away, I won't let her. I'll give her some time, at least enough to notify Mr. Collins of the broken engagement. He composed himself and said, "I am glad to hear that at least you're not going to marry that fool. You know what? One thing I was always curious of--why on Earth you would always speak of him as Mr. Collins, never using his given name?"
Charlotte shrugged her shoulders, "I was not very eager to get more intimate with him in any way." She smiled, "besides whenever I would think of him, he would be Billy, not William, and I would then picture him wearing shorts, a blue school jacket, oh and a big red lollipop in his hands."
Fitzwilliam laughed out loud, "Charlotte Lucas, you're too cruel. I prefer not to ask your opinion of me."
With a sudden sparkle in her eyes she said, "The only words to describe you I can think of right now, are insults."
She wanted to continue but Rich cut in, mischievous grin on his face, "Before you say anything I could use against you, let me remind you that I have a very good method of quieting you if I hear something I don't like."
The coward in her took over and she resisted the temptation of saying more. She didn't know how it happened, but a couple of minutes later Richard really left the apartment .... with her in tow to do some shopping. She took him to Sainsburys and witnessed a mysterious transformation. He behaved as if he were in a supermarket for the first time in his life--the first steps he directed to the shelves with sweets, soft drinks and ice-cream. Having quite an experience with her younger siblings, Charlotte managed to curb his uncontrollable urge to buy everything packed in colourful paper and smelling sweet. As a result, he would throw things into their basket, and she would quietly put them back on the shelves. Colonel was making fun all the time, but he did not fail to observe how careful she was in spending the little money (in his consideration) that, together with Elizabeth and Jane, she allocated for food.
Shopping in a supermarket was always a tiresome business, and when burdened with their bags and standing at the centre doors, Charlotte determined that Colonel had had enough of her company. She was wrong. He invited himself "in". After checking on Elizabeth, who woke up only to use bathroom and eat a piece of bread with butter, they settled on a sofa in the living room again, this time watching TV. Charlotte wanted to see "Emma", Colonel wanted to see "Indecent Proposal", they ended up watching "Star Wars" till late at night.
Chapter 33
The last thing William Darcy wanted was to wake up. However he did--in the middle of the night. And he did not go back to sleep. He was feeling miserable and used, and he decided to pamper the feeling for a while, going out for a drink. He sneaked out quietly, to avoid being caught on the stairs by Louis, his driver, who was also his steward, friend and sometimes liked to behave like his father. Darcy walked slowly along the street. He knew that no matter whom he would meet, no one would recognise him in a pair of jeans, polo shirt and an old leather jacket. He was right. No one would recognise him, but he could not pass by unnoticed.....Author's note: sigh!
He had a scotch in his favourite jazz pub. In the wee hours of the night it was only him, the barman, the band and a couple of *faithful* customers. Darcy sat on a stool in the corner of the bar. To complete his misery, he bought a package of cigarettes and amused himself with the patterns of the smoke above his head. Suddenly he stiffened, they were playing "Your Latest Trick". He motioned for another scotch.
Gareth the barman smiled knowingly, "She dumped you, huh?" he said while wiping the already shiny table top in front of Darcy.
William answered, "Kind of," and he sipped his whiskey, watching the cigarette turn into ash. He extinguished it and took another one.
"You don't look like the kind of guy that any chick would dump out of her own free will, so you must have really done something....," tried Gareth again, putting a clean ash tray on the table.
"Kind of," said Darcy, and he decided it was time to go before he ended up crying on the barman's shoulder. However bad he felt, he hadn't gotten to that stage yet.
The barman was a bit disappointed, after 15 years in the business he considered himself quite good with this kind of stuff. However the couple of notes that Darcy left on the counter made his day, or rather night. Trying his best, he called after Darcy, "Talk to her, if you tell her the truth, she'll understand..."
It was raining slightly when William left the bar. He put up the collar of his jacket and wandered along the street. Five minutes later he realised that a car was following him. He turned abruptly and without much surprise saw his own grey *Zeppelin* limousine quietly pulling by the pavement. It was of course Louis who was wearing stupid grin.
William sighed and slid inside, "All right, if you're so eager to work, then we're going to Pemberley."
The last thing Caroline Bingley wanted was to wake up. Her head was pounding. She could hardly remember further occurrences of the previous evening. After she splashed her face in the cake someone, probably her secretary, picked her up and took her to the bathroom to get washed. By the time he managed to calm her down and get her presentable for her guests again, she had gulped down a couple of glasses of champagne. He then seated her in an armchair, where she spent the rest of the evening smiling stiffly to her guests. Anyone who would come by to talk to her would get sent for a drink. To get rid of them she would say, "Dear, could you bring me something to drink?" And they did. She was drowning her sorrow and humiliation in alcohol so efficiently that she did not even remember when the first guest left. But now it was morning, and she would have to face reality.
She turned to the other side and moaned, although this feeling systematically accompanied her almost every Saturday and Sunday morning, she hated it when it felt as if her head was treated with a pneumatic drill. Someone moved in the room. She heard water being poured into a glass and then the sizzling sound of her hangover remedy. She opened one eye. It was her secretary, holding out the glass to her.
"I really don't pay you enough....," she said, gratefully accepting the cold drink. She managed to pull herself together. By the time she finished it, she was in a proper mood--she was MAD. "Blast it!!!" she screamed and threw the now empty glass past the secretary. He didn't react, obviously he was learning fast. "It was a disaster! Why? Why? And who would do this to me?" she cried.
"Hmm," the secretary hmmed. "I could name at least five people during last week only to whom you've given a reason good enough for such a revenge. I don't know how many years exactly you've been in business, but if you get yourself enemies at such a rate....," he said in a completely-new authoritative tone that practically grounded Caroline to her bed, and left her open mouthed. He raised his eyebrow and added, "However, whoever it was, you owe him a big thank you."
"Are you out of your mind? It was a disaster! Show me one person who will ask my company to decorate their house or organise a posh party after this spectacle!!!! I am definitely paying you too much!!!!!!!!" Caroline tried to be authoritative without raising her voice and she was failing miserably. She could feel her secretary slipping out of her control and out of her hands.
"A disaster? Then I really don't know what should I say to all those people calling from 7:00 AM congratulating you on the most outrageously funny, hilarious and sexy idea of the season....A disaster? Does that mean I should cancel the 10 home-opening parties that were booked only this morning?" he smiled quizzically.
Caroline looked at him with a new sparkle in her eyes, and then she giggled, "I bet that's not the kind of reaction this idiot hoped for!!!!!!!"
"He was not an idiot Caroline. He knew very well how all these posh, bored-to-death people would react, and he knew very well how you would take it," he turned around to answer yet another phone-call.
Neither are you an idiot, she thought, And you do have a nice butt.
Half an hour later she was sitting in a foamy bath and she was calling him to help her wash her back. He came. She thought that seeing her naked in a bath might unnerve him. She was wrong. Sitting on the edge of the bath he worked some soap into the sponge and slowly washed her back. Caroline grabbed him by his shirt and brought him down to kiss her. I am not paying him enough, she thought with delight. Suddenly it was all over. He was standing next to the bath, and she was blinking incredulously with her eyes. Surely he cannot read in my thoughts!
"Why?" she only asked.
He folded his arms and looked at her, "Two things. One--I really like my job, and I wouldn't like to think that's the only reason I still have it. Two--I really like you, but until we are on the same level, you can dream of it," he said and left her sitting in the foam.
Chapter 34
Elizabeth woke up at half-past four in the morning, when the navy-blue darkness outside the window dwindled sufficiently into a greyish blur as to let her recognise the still-faint contours of the furniture. Despite the early hour she felt she would not fall asleep again. Not wanting to wake Charlotte, she decided to stay in bed for at least a while longer.
Lizzy snuggled under the warm blanket, protecting her from the chilled air that was creeping through the window that was ajar all year long. She pressed her cheek to the pyjama's sleeve, feeling soft, almost silky cotton. She found herself enveloped by the faint, but still-discernible masculine scent of Darcy. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. Funny, he didn't even wear it and it smells of him..... With a blush she then recollected that the pyjama, together with its "contents" lied in the very proximity of the owner, in his own bed. It in turn provoked a tingling sensation somewhere between her heart and stomach. Words, images flashed in her head. She steadily tried to recreate and retrace every moment of the past two days.
Why did I go to that stupid party at the first place? To meet "the important" people and convince the public that my relations with Darcy are of a strict, professional nature? Good joke! She recalled how uncomfortable she had been there, how almost all of her confidence was shattered by the obviousness of those people's money and position. As if it were not mind and personality that count most. Being used to confessing almost all of her worries to Jane, she had a habit of having conversations with herself in her thoughts, as if she was talking with someone, when her sister was not available.
And what do you do? Fight with Caroline, and to get revenge you try to finish off all of her champagne stock. You don't desire Darcy's good opinion, but make sure that he was at least attracted to you physically. This goes a little far in securing his permanent absence. You whine to him that you want to go home and you are surprised when next morning you find yourself sprawling comfortably on his naked torso... Oh, Elizabeth Bennet, what have you done to yourself? she scolded herself like one scolds a bad-tempered child.
He really must have thought me an easy lay, she tossed uncomfortably on the bed. That's what he said when he *proposed*, he made it clear that he wanted it to be a punishment for me and fun for him. After my behaviour at the party he must have congratulated himself at such a narrow escape from someone rotten to the root. Oh, and all this after I screamed to his face that I'm not the kind of girl he thinks me to be!........ She was distraught by her own behaviour. But then why would he bring you to his home?
Lizzy felt she could not stand staying in her bed any longer. She grabbed her blanket and a small pillow and went to sit in the window niche. She hugged the pillow and observed the slow, almost unnoticeable changes of light outside. An ever-present bunch of sparrows started their usual loud discussion attending to their morning toilet in the nearby puddle.
And Caroline Bingley! I can't believe they are one family with Charles... After a while she sighed thinking of her three younger sisters, Darcy was obviously equally amused by some of my relations, I bet. He is not an angel himself! Why would he be ordering male dancers otherwise!!!!!
Absentmindedly she watched how a few sparrows were jumping around in the puddle. Two of them, slightly bigger than the rest, obviously males, were trying to lift themselves as high as possible on their tiny legs. They were spreading their wings and beating the water up so that it would come sprinkling down. The higher the fountain, the bigger was the joy of nearby females who were smoothing their own greyish-brownish feathers with small beaks. The males got out from the puddle and started shaking themselves off. With their feathers puffed up they received even more admiring twitters from the audience. Lizzy blinked her eyes at the spectacle that was put on by them. Something dawned on her. She laughed out.
That's why he ordered Chippendales!!!!!!! Only now she remembered what she saw before losing consciousness. I don't suspect that these are customary presents they give themselves. Caroline was too mad. It must have been revenge.....but that means he must have known that she was responsible for the article!!!!! He must know it was not my fault, he must know I am not that way! Her relief was soon turned into mortification, If he knew, then why didn't he tell me anything?!
She answered the question herself, You did not quite give him a chance.
Oh yes, indeed, he needed to wait full three weeks to apologise for his accusations!
But he took you to his home.
Pity and bad conscience. And he was quite explicit that he didn't want to ever see you again!
As if you care to see him again!
Like every girl, Lizzy dreamt about finding a man she could love with her whole heart, without restraint, with whom she could share everything she considered precious, whom she could give everything. However she never dreamt that this everything would be demanded by anyone in such a dirty way, that it would be brought down to .... to sex and money. It hurt more than she would admit, especially because it came from someone so...well, because it came from William Darcy.
Come on! Who are you kidding! What did you expect? He wasn't even pretending to be polite from the very first moment you met. The only times he seemed nice was when he kept his mouth shut, but then he would always stare at you disapprovingly. And what was it in his house? Out of the blue he tries to be funny? He expects me to rejoice in waking up in his arms, making a fool of myself?
Lizzy was in confusion; her own thoughts, his words, and pictures mingled in her head in a great chaos. She pulled the blanket tighter around herself and in search of some comfort she pressed her forehead to the cold window. She watched as the first rays of a faint February sun were captured and reflected by the drops of water from last night's rain hanging on the bare trees. Soon the sun would be hidden behind the layers of coming clouds and the City's traffic exhaust.
He used the opportunity to get rid of you very efficiently, and with all his later dealings he tried to make it appear a more gentleman like deed.
She was convinced of it now; she knew she needed to be convinced of that. Taking up that resolution she momentarily remembered the look in his eyes when she blurted out Wickham's name in the middle of the argument. Somehow she now felt it was wrong to bring him up right there--it had been a matter between herself and Darcy, and Wickham had nothing to do with it, but it made things easier to think he did. He created a very good cover up for her own feelings of simultaneous dislike and attraction to Darcy. Still Lizzy was unsure why Darcy reacted in such a way to Wickham's name. Of course she expected a strong reaction, but one of shame and loss of confidence, instead her remark was met with disbelief which turned into anger.
Elizabeth checked her watch, 6:00 AM already. Maybe I could call George, and he would tell me some more particulars of his deals with Darcy, maybe then I would understand... She looked up his mobile phone number, she waited and waited and waited but no one was answering. She was about to hang up when someone finally got it. Lizzy drew her breath to apologise for waking him up at such an early hour, but instead of George's baritone she heard a female, "Yeah? Who's it?!"
It took her a couple of seconds to get her voice back and quietly she asked, "Ergh... Could I speak with George Wickham, please?" hoping it was a wrong number or something of the sort.
The girl however chirped, "Oh, Georgie!!!!! Sorry he's just taking a shower. You wanna tell 'im somethin'?"
"Oh, just tell him that I'll call again. Eli...," started saying Lizzy.
Her last words were lost in the noise of someone smacking chewing gum and a loud splash followed by hysterical giggling, "Gee, I've got chewing gum all over the phone!!! What was your name again?"
The voice sounded familiar to Lizzy but she only wanted to finish this before it became too embarrassing for both her and Wickham to explain why one called and the other was not alone. Another snap of a chewing gum bubble cut short Lizzy's reveries, "Soooo....," the girl was evidently bored.
"Nothing....," whispered Elizabeth in a small voice and broke off the connection. She slowly put the phone down and said to herself, "I wonder how old she is."
Lydia, a bit worried, looked at the mobile phone, it had chewing gum all over the buttons and on the speaker, so that it stuck to her ear and hair. George would not like it; she needed to distract his attention. When he walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, she smiled coquettishly and wrapped herself around him, getting her school uniform wet, "Come Mr. Wickham, we still have some time before you drive me to school," she said and kissed him soundly.
He hesitated for a while, "Until when will Mary Forester and her brother cover up for your absence?"
"He's driving her back to school at 8.30, we have plenty of time, and no one will ever know..."
Wickham had very weak principles, and when some free shagging was at stake, he had no principles at all.....
Lizzy angrily threw the receiver on its place. She was mad at herself for actually calling him and for catching him with that girl. She sounded so familiar...., she thought, it doesn't matter anyway, she could be anyone! In spite of everything, Elizabeth DID feel a bit of regret upon the discovery that George Wickham was obviously involved with someone. It would not hurt so much, if it weren't for the fact that all this time he was distinguishing her so much.... like no one ever did.
It's not that I wanted anything more serious than what I already had with him, but..., she knew she was deceiving herself. She would not mind at all, but it was as if she were not even given a chance to see if it could work out between the two of them. Well, even if I fancied such a thought, making him redecorate my room must have scared him off!, she laughed at herself.
Lizzy sighed. She was starving and she almost desperately longed for a shower. After taking one she went to the kitchen. She felt like some hot chocolate but her "more responsible self" settled for chamomile and mint tea. She searched the shelves in search of something edible. In a couple of minutes she was faced with the happy alternatives of baby food, dietetic white bread with butter, or milk rice. She cringed her nose, she would burn milk rice for sure, baby food looked more appetising on Darcy's chest, so she settled for bread and butter. As usual, she sat on the counter next to the sink to eat her breakfast.
Absentmindedly she looked around. Her attention was caught by the noise of a TV in the living room. Charlotte never watches TV in the morning! He must have forgotten to turn it off! The noise was getting on her nerves so she jumped down and energetically strolled into a living room. She couldn't find the remote. She ran straight to the set and unplugged it. She turned around and gasped in horror; something big was lying on the sofa. She tip-toed towards it and after a dreadful moment she smiled, relieved. It was Colonel Fitzwilliam who was squashing Charlotte in a bear-like hug. Charlotte defensively stacked the remote in Colonel's stomach, but he didn't seem to mind it at all. They were soundly asleep. Lizzy covered them with a blanket and with a triumphant smile on her lips she left the room. I think I have stayed indoors too long, a walk would do me good.
Fitzwilliam was fighting a huge, red lollipop. It had school uniform and it strangely resembled Mr. Collins. Colonel knelt on the floor adjusting his equipment. He was about to shoot it with a howitzer, right in the centre, so as to make it fall apart. The lollipop however started complimenting him on his choice of weapon, he started bowing and the bullet missed him. Fitz thought for a while about strangling it, but it was so sticky and sweaty. He tried all the good-old military tactics, but none seemed to work on Collins. To make things worse, Collins lost his usual politeness and complaisance and started laughing at him. It was deafening. Then another voice joined in, and then another one, and another...... Gasping for air Colonel sat up, holding someone in his arms.
There was Bingley with Jane and Elizabeth standing in the door, laughing at him. Unconsciously he looked down on Charlotte Lucas who was just starting to wake up. "Good morning," he said and smiled boyishly at the laughing party. "Honey, wake up," he whispered into Charlotte's ear. She mumbled something and put her hands around his neck, her eyes still closed. He shook her gently, "Charlotte?"
His voice finally cut through the clouds of dreams. She opened her eyes and sprang away from him, "W..what?"
He laughed, "Jane and Charles are back, and I think we were the only people who managed to fall asleep during "Star Wars"".
Charlotte groaned, "It was you who wanted to see the whole thing twice in a row!" she cried as she collapsed back on the sofa. "Hi guys! I hope you had better time than I had asleep...."
Bingley wiped the tears from his eyes, "Don't tell me we've been the only ones having fun! Now all I need to see is William Darcy coming out of the shower right now!"
Lizzy stopped laughing, "I am afraid I'm not inclined to provide you with that amusement," she cut him short and turning towards kitchen she added lightly, "Coffee anyone?"
Strolling off the sofa Fitzwilliam motioned Charles not to ask any questions and said, "Yes, please!"
Elizabeth walked off quickly, and a moment later others joined her in the kitchen. She had put on the kettle already and was pulling breakfast things out of the fridge. Jane sat down on Charles's lap, enjoying his soft embrace. Charlotte sat down opposite to them in her usual place. It was not by accident that Richard pulled his chair to her side. It was also not by accident that she immediately felt it her duty to help Elizabeth with the cups. She took the tray from her friend and arranged things on the table. She then deliberately took a place on the other end of the table. Quite content with herself, she made a face to Rich who responded by blowing her a kiss.
Elizabeth watched her sister and friends, fascinated, as if they were of another species. The kettle whistled straight into her ear. They act like children!!! And they are so happy! That is not fair. With all these disastrous things happening to me lately.
She tried a couple of smiles and only when she felt her face muscles relax, did she return to the table. She rolled her eyes in disbelief, she just caught Colonel throwing a piece of bread at Charlotte, and Jane putting a piece of croissant to Charles's mouth. Lizzy smirked, he looked almost exactly like a love-struck Goofy the Dog. She even envisioned him floating in the air after her sister with a leash attached to his heart.... Oh Lord, I AM getting insane..., she groaned quietly in her thoughts, trying to control the laughter convulsions on her face. She managed to ask how was Puerto Rico. It was enough to make both Jane and Charles blush and laugh a little nervously.
"Well...," Charles started and looked at Jane for support.
She finished for him, "We didn't go to Puerto Rico."
Silence fell around the table. "Then where were you?!!?? Jane, did they back out from co-operation or what?" Charlotte was the one who asked.
"Well...," Jane started and looked at Charles with a smile.
"On our way there we were kindly dumped on a small, wild island. Courtesy of Darcy..... boy, I am grateful to that chap for such a wonderful idea," Charles finished for Jane and kissed her. Then they started aahing, oohing, and sighing about the island.
It was Lizzy's turn to sit looking quite dumb. With each and every moment it seemed more like a fairy tale, but though she could quite easily imagine Bingley as a goofy Walt Disney cartoon dog, she had hard times believing Darcy would play Fairy God Mother to Jane and Charles--with one move turning this now 5-months-long infatuation into a deepest love.... Not the serious, sarcastic, ironic, always knowing better, superficial William Darcy!!!!!! And certainly not to Elizabeth Bennet's sister!!!!! Not after saying, insolently, to her face that she and all of her family have been after money only......She could not have been so very much mistaken!!!!!!! He was selfish, arrogant, and self-centred! But then..... if it were true..... maybe he was not that bad..... he did help her....and it was the kindest thing one could do for Jane and Charles, otherwise they would be pretending to be friends forever....She looked at them again, and again, and something struck her.....
"Jane, why are you wearing a rusty curtain ring on your finger?!!!! It's dangerous!"
Charles laughed, "It's my fault, I could not wait, and there was neither a Tiffany nor Cartier on the island. But I promise to make up for it during the engagement party next week..... You're all invited."
A moment of suspense followed, and then it was as if someone had thrown a hand grenade with laughing gas.