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Part 37
Posted on Thursday, 27 August 1998
Caroline entered the drawing room too, and noticed that everyone had returned. Georgiana saw she was a little dazed and that made her eager to speak to her, so she beckoned her over. "Did you have a nice walk with my cousin and Miss Bennet?" Georgiana asked earnestly.
"Uhh, yes."
"Where did you walk to?"
Caroline looked blank. "Around the park," she said vaguely. She really had no idea.
Georgiana smiled. "Were you too busy talking to notice?"
"Oh, what did you say? No, I was not talking," she said hastily.
"Miss Bingley, where exactly did we walk to?" the Colonel called. "Miss Bennet wishes to know if we went east or west."
"I...do not know."
"And I thought she was silent because she was paying attention to her surroundings," he jokingly remarked to Elizabeth, but loud enough for Caroline to overhear.
But I was! Only not to the surroundings you refer to...
The Netherfield party returned soon afterwards because the gentlemen had much to do. Caroline was glad; she could only stand the Bennet family for so long. She and Georgiana played a bit on the pianoforte while the men went about their business until dinner was served.
They dined and discussed the various arrangements after the wedding. Colonel Fitzwilliam was to go back to his parents with Georgiana, and Caroline would return to London.
"I feel really sorry for you that you have to return to London all alone," said Georgiana when they sat together some time after dinner. She was happy that she was going to live at Pemberley.
"I am used to it."
"When is Louisa coming back?"
"In three months, I believe. That was what she wrote last."
Bingley, who did not know what to do on his last evening as a bachelor, appeared with the other gentlemen after about an hour. "Would one of you care to join us for a game of cards? Or both of you? We need a fourth." Georgiana declined knowing any card games, but Caroline was fond of them and it was settled that she and her brother would play against Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam. They played all the time until supper, Caroline and Bingley were losing to their opponents pretty heavily, because Bingley could not keep his mind on the game.
After supper they continued their game, but finally Bingley could not concentrate any longer and announced he was going to bed, Darcy followed suit, and Georgiana felt she could not stay up when her brother was already in bed, claimed she was tired as well. Caroline, who was not tired at all, looked dissatisfied with the sudden exodus. "We are in the middle of a game!" she exclaimed to Colonel Fitzwilliam. "I cannot believe this. First he makes us lose, and then he goes to bed!"
"So it was his fault you were losing?"
"Yes, of course! Did you not see the many mistakes he made?"
Bingley had indeed been playing very badly. "Would you have won if you had played with a different partner?"
"I would have done much better, certainly. I should have played alone."
"I challenge you to continue alone and beat me," he said with a mischievous look.
Caroline took up the challenge immediately. "Good, I shall. Whose turn was it?"
"Bingley-two, I believe."
"I suppose you call your cards Colonel-one and Colonel-two then?" she said mockingly.
"Not at all. I call them left and right."
"Why do you not call mine left and right?" she asked. "Spades."
"Spades?" he groaned. "Because your left is my right." He played a card and picked up his other pile.
"You must treat them as separate people, or else you would be cheating. Your mind must go totally blank in the few seconds you change hands, and forget about what you saw."
"Yes, Madam," he said meekly. "But I will only do that if you do it too."
"Are you afraid of losing to me?"
"Certainly not."
"Why? Are you so convinced you will win?" Caroline cried indignantly.
He laughed and poured them both a glass of brandy. "I could not care less if I lost."
"Then why do you play? I play to win." Let me hear what you say to that!
"I play for the sake of playing."
"That is your general outlook on life, is it not?" She looked thoughtful.
"You could say that," he said, equally thoughtful. "Count your points, please."
"Three."
"Three?" He raised his eyebrows. "I thought you were going to win!"
"I will. Remember that Charles bungled up half of this game," she said defensively.
"Poor Bungley was nervous, I expect." Fitzwilliam dealt the cards and said "spades, again," after looking at his hand of cards.
She snorted and grabbed the piece of paper with the scores. "Oh, I am far behind, I see! I hope it does not take until morning to catch up with you. I still have some packing to do, and I must of course get a little sleep."
"Only a little?"
"Oh, yes, seven hours will do nicely. My brother Mr. Hurst sleeps as much as sixteen hours on one day sometimes, I do not understand how it is possible."
"And yet you prefer to live with him rather than with Bingley?" he asked incredulously.
"Who told you that?" she asked gaily, the brandy beginning to affect her. "Are the ladies being discussed when they are not present?"
"All the time. Your brother told me you would find it too dull here, but Darcy seems to think you do not want to live here because you disapprove of the society."
Caroline looked reflective. "Are they not saying the same thing? I do not care for the Meryton society, certainly, and I would find it very boring and dull. There is no good conversation to be had anywhere, only incessant gossip and girls chasing after...oh!" she blushed.
"Were you going to say officers, Miss Bingley?" He was faintly amused that she seemed to forget he was one too, now and then.
"Forget I said that. It is not a valid argument because I have seen with my own eyes that it is equally bad in London."
"It is all part of the profession," Fitzwilliam declared.
Caroline looked aghast. "Do not tell me you chose it for that reason?"
He smiled at her disapproval and refilled his glass, and hers when she held it out to him. "Of course I did not, but I had little choice, being a younger son. The other options did not appeal to me."
"Do you like it?" She played a card.
"Most of the time I do."
"Ha!" Triumphantly she played an ace and her bracelets clattered.
"The bells of victory," he murmured and he stared pensively at her many bracelets. "You must be very strong to be able to use your arm normally with so much metal hanging on to it."
Caroline gave him a strange look. "Are you teasing me?"
He gave her an innocent smile. "Oh, no. I have behaved myself very well today, would you not agree?"
She had to think this over, and agreed that he had indeed not vexed her all day, except for that brief instant at Longbourn. "Yes, but not quite. I wish you would be a little more specific as to what you mean. Half of the time you keep me guessing, and it is very vexing. Have some compassion on my poor nerves!" she said in a perfect imitation of Mrs. Bennet.
Fitzwilliam laughed. "All right," he continued seriously, "when did I keep you guessing today?"
Caroline shifted uncomfortably and she suddenly had a great interest in her cards. "Ah, I do not quite recall..." I cannot go ahead and ask him if he meant to compliment me about my looks!
"Yes, you do." He frantically searched his memory for any time he could have confused her. He remembered when she had seemed to think he thought she looked dreadful. Was I not clear? Does she mean she did not understand what I meant? But if I had been clearer she would not have believed me!
"I do, but I will not mention it if you do not know what I refer to," she said stiffly.
"I think I know...perhaps I should express myself in a clearer manner next time?"
"Yes, do try," Caroline said sarcastically.
Fitzwilliam took a sip of his brandy for courage. "Good, I will try. I did not mean to imply that you were dull," he said slowly, not really used to being so explicitly serious, "but you were uncommonly quiet. It was rather disappointing not to hear you say anything, but then I thought I could not wish for everything because your looks had improved so much from walking out of doors." He awaited her reaction.
Caroline looked amazed. Firstly, she had never seen him speak seriously before, and she had not really thought he could do it. Secondly, she was surprised that he should be disappointed if she did not speak, and lastly, she was infinitely stunned by the suggestion that walking could improve her looks.
"What is so amazing?" he asked, amused.
She swallowed the contents of her glass of brandy-and-water, and set it down. "Had you wished me to speak, and why? And what do you mean when you say walking improves my looks?"
"I enjoy talking to you."
"Only because it gives you the chance to point out my mistakes!" she exclaimed.
"You never pass up the chance to point out mine either," he reminded her.
"Someone should," she said stubbornly.
"Exactly."
Caroline grimaced and sighed. Her bracelets clattered again as she held up her hand. "All right, no winner there. But what was that about my looks? I cannot believe it. Walking makes me look like some country girl, I am sure. If it does, I shall give up walking."
"Oh!" Colonel Fitzwilliam cried in exasperation. "You are impossible! Trust me for once, I know it is difficult, but only once, and believe me when I say that you do not look like a country girl, and you probably never will, and all that happens when you walk is that you look far more beautiful than when you sit in the Bennets' drawing room like a frozen statue!"
"Oh," Caroline said dumbly. This implied far too many things at once and she did not know what to say or think. She refilled both of their glasses and took a big sip.
"Shall we continue the game?" he suggested, a little embarrassed by his outburst.
"Yes," she agreed briskly. "Though I do not think I can win anymore. We are almost finished."
"Next time we play we shall start on an equal footing, I promise." He winced at hearing himself promise something.
"Was that a slip of the tongue? You are forgiven, do not worry," she said with an impassive face, but her tone did not sound very serious.
"I suppose you forgive me because you have all the aces and all the kings this time?" He said when she played an ace.
"You cannot know that, unless you have been looking in your other hand, and I strictly forbade you to do so."
Colonel Fitzwilliam grinned. "You have just betrayed your own cheating, because you could not have known that the aces and kings were not in my other hand unless you knew you had them all in both hands. How many points do you have?"
"Eight. Not enough, though, is it?"
"Not nearly enough. You lose."
She watched the clock. "I had better go to bed. I think I drank too much brandy," she frowned and then said lightly, "I lost and I feel happy, how very strange."
Part 38
Posted on Sunday, 30 August 1998
The next morning Caroline woke still very cheerfully. Her maid helped her to get dressed into one of her prettiest gowns, in various shades of brown. All the while, Caroline sat thinking, mainly about Colonel Fitzwilliam. The night before she had enjoyed herself very much, which she at first had ascribed to the brandy, but then remembering that she had not drunk very much of it, she was sure it had to be the game of cards and Fitzwilliam's company. Try as she might, she could not remember what about him she had ever disapproved of, and she could not wait for her maid to finish her hair so she could hurry down and see him at the breakfast table.
She ran down the stairs as quickly as was possible without disarranging her hair and to her great dismay found no one in the breakfast parlour just yet. For a moment she stood still. Shall I go in and start? But then I might have finished when the others come down! No, I'll wait. She fairly ran towards the drawing room, but then decided against it and headed towards the library to read a book. Arriving there, she remembered her book was not there and retraced her steps back to the drawing room. Just as she had sat down, she heard someone cross the hall so she got up and ran towards it.
Colonel Fitzwilliam had paused at the top of the stairs to adjust an article of his clothing and he was greeted by the highly amusing spectacle of Miss Bingley running to and fro in the hall. Curious as always, he was determined to find out what she was doing so he walked down and followed her into the drawing room, from which she exited at just that same moment.
They collided head on, and Miss Bingley had the grace to blush slightly and offer her apologies. "I am sorry. I was not looking where I went," she said with her eyes wide open.
"Where were you going? Back to the library?" he asked curiously. "Or the breakfast parlour?"
"I am sorry," she said again and only then remembered to take a step backwards. "I cannot sit still. I have the very strange desire to go somewhere else when I have just sat down." She smiled.
"How is your head?" He asked, highly suspicious of a cheerful Caroline. Did she just smile? Really smile?
"I do not know that there was anything wrong with it?" Caroline raised her eyebrows in wonder.
"You did not drink too much then," he stated, sounding a little doubtful.
"I do not think so. There have been occasions on which I have drunk much more," she said brightly, "notably when playing cards with Mr. Hurst, though not as much as Mr. Hurst himself, because he--"
"Good morning!" Bingley bounced down the stairs. He was even more active and bright than Caroline and Fitzwilliam began to see the family resemblance that had eluded him and everybody else so far, especially when he let his greeting follow by, "I cannot sit still at all this morning. Are you two still up or are you merely exceptionally early? I thought I was early!"
"My dear Charles, what a preposterous thought! I would not have been so awake as I am now if I had been up all night," his sister cried. "Besides, do you not see that I am wearing a different gown?"
"Really, Caroline! As if anyone marks what ladies wear all the time!" Bingley walked towards the breakfast parlour, his indignant sister in tow.
"Oh! Even if you do not notice what I wear it is not very polite to own it! I am sure your wife would not like to be told such a thing."
Colonel Fitzwilliam followed them slowly while he pondered the Caroline-mystery. He had absolutely no clue why she was so bright and energetic this morning. Darcy and Georgiana came in not a minute later. "Darcy!" Bingley exclaimed. "Are you the least bit nervous? You look so composed!"
Darcy shook his head, but Fitzwilliam could see he was nervous too. "I dare say he is as nervous as you are," he laughed.
Caroline was pouring tea, and he handed her his cup. She lightly brushed his fingers with her own, and this stunned him so much that the cup crashed to the table. He had had far too many years of experience with such gestures not to realise that this was definitely not an accident, even if it came from such an unlikely source.
Bingley, of course, could not refrain from commenting. "Good heavens, Fitzwilliam! You are not even getting married! This bodes very ill for your own wedding day, old chap!"
Colonel Fitzwilliam made an incoherent reply as he retrieved his cup from the table. He was very confused. I would never have thought she would do anything like that! Why would she? I am tempted to think it was an accident, but it was too obvious. She is really behaving very strangely this morning. Caroline looked very innocent as she handed him his filled cup properly this time, but his hand shook so much that he spilt half of its contents over the toast on the table, eliciting some curious looks from the two bridegrooms. Caroline could guess what had upset him, and Georgiana, who had witnessed the exchange with some interest, could guess likewise. Georgiana was thrilled.
Bingley looked at his plate. "I think I will not be able to eat a thing. Which is not a bad thing, because had I been very hungry, I would have had to eat all that toast that Fitzwilliam drenched in coffee."
"Then do not," his sister advised him. "It might disagree with you, like it did that one time at Aunt Bingley's. Or perhaps it is wisest to eat very little, but enough to prevent you from fainting."
"Yes, I still remember that one time at Aunt Bingley's. That was awful. She took such a dislike to me after that, I am sure she will not mind terribly if I do not name my firstborn Grace, although I suppose you cannot escape that fate for she was always very fond of you."
Caroline shuddered. "I shall not--"
Bingley had been thinking and with an even brighter expression on his face he said, "why do you not go and visit her before you return to London? You are not that far away now." He thought he had stumbled on a very good idea. "She might even get you a husband because she loves matchmaking."
Caroline blushed in annoyance. "I do not want any of her choices. Matchmaking schemes do not work on me. Georgiana tried to get me interested in a boy in London..."
"Georgiana?" asked a very surprised Darcy.
"Pray how old was this boy?" Bingley asked.
"About twenty, perhaps not even twenty," Caroline replied in a disgusted tone. "Much too young," she added in case her tone had not made that abundantly clear. She was not sure if Colonel Fitzwilliam knew how old she was, but she wanted him to know.
"Oh, well," Bingley said carelessly, "what is five years? I am sure it does not signify anymore when you are forty."
"Charles! Thank you for your indiscretion," she said dryly. "I knew I could count on you."
"I am sure Darcy knew, and Georgiana too. You cannot be too upset by Fitzwilliam knowing it now too, can you? After all, he will be your brother's wife's sister's husband's cousin. Are you still with us, Fitzwilliam? You are awfully quiet."
"Uhh yes." He was still considering Miss Bingley's behaviour but he could not make any sense of it. She had always disapproved of his flirting, and yet it looked very much like she had flirted with him just now, and to his great surprise he hoped it was true, because he realised he was more interested in Miss Bingley than he had ever admitted to himself.
Part 39
Posted on Monday, 31 August 1998
After their short breakfast they hastened to the church, not that they were late, but the two nervous bridegrooms wanted to make sure they were really on time. Caroline had known that it would not be such a grand affair as her friend Annabella's, and she wondered if the whole town had shown up. It did look like it. It would soon be over and the happy couples would have to be congratulated by everyone. Caroline dreaded this more than anything, more even than the wedding breakfast at the Bennets'. She had no problem with Charles and Jane, but she was not looking forward to congratulating Darcy and Elizabeth. She knew what they would think. They would think she was still pining over Darcy and terribly jealous of Elizabeth. But I am not! I do not care. I might have, but not anymore. If this is what they want, they have my blessing, but they are never going to believe I am serious in wishing them well. Especially Elizabeth. She dislikes me, I know she does. Her high spirits of earlier that morning vanished slowly. As a consequence of that her facial expression became strained, permitting exactly such misinterpretation of her feelings as she feared.
Colonel Fitzwilliam studied her out of the corner of his eye. He saw her dejected face and wondered what to make of it. I thought she no longer cared for Darcy? What is it then that makes her look so sour? Why did she flirt with me if she still likes Darcy? I suppose I saw something that was not there... He sighed. What a fool I am...
Caroline wished the couples luck in a rather strained voice, and of course Mrs. Bennet had to overhear. "Mr. Darcy preferred my Lizzie," she said proudly to someone in her vicinity as if it had all been her doing, "over all those so-called fashionable ladies from London who considered themselves as good as married to him already," nodding pointedly in Caroline's direction. That was not all, however. "Look at Mr. Bingley's sister," Mrs. Bennet continued in her supposedly lowered but still very audible voice, "she must be approaching her thirties and she is still not married. I think it highly unlikely that she ever will. Look at that look on her face!"
She swallowed her anger and tears. It would not do to make a scene, and she would show people that she, at least, was well-bred, but it did not help to lift her spirits. Approaching my thirties? Where does she get that absurd notion? Do I look as old as that? She did not want to look around to see how many people had overheard Mrs. Bennet's words, but walked on pretending she had not heard a thing.
The relatives were all to go to the Bennets' house for the wedding breakfast, and Caroline walked next to Georgiana. Caroline is obviously not in a good mood. Can she be upset by Fitzwilliam's marriage? How could that be when I thought she was almost in love with my cousin Richard? They are so well suited! I cannot let my brother's marriage upset it all. If we leave later today, she might never see him anymore...I must try and find out what is troubling her, and I must do something.
"Did you like the wedding, Caroline?"
"No."
"Did you not think the brides looked very pretty?"
"Yes."
"Would you not want to be a bride one day and look pretty?" Georgiana said dreamily.
"Be realistic, Georgiana."
"What do you mean?"
"I just overheard someone say that both of those things are quite unlikely as far as I am concerned."
Georgiana kept silent. Someone said Caroline would never marry and she would never look pretty? How mean! I wonder who could say something like that, because it is not true at all. Caroline is very pretty and I am sure she will one day get married, if I can only make her realise her who she likes. She looked around and spotted her cousin talking to Kitty and another girl she did not know. "You must not believe that. Who said that?"
"It does not matter, and thank you. I think most people do not really like me here. But do not let me spoil your day. I shall not breathe another word about it."
The breakfast was the typical chaotic Bennet affair with Mrs. Bennet talking loudly and nervously. Caroline was glad she had been seated at the quiet end of the table, near Mr. Bennet and Mary, as far from Mrs. Bennet as possible. She observed that Colonel Fitzwilliam was seated near Mrs. Bennet and Kitty, not wholly without premeditation on Mrs. Bennet's side. He looked particularly dashing in his uniform. Why is he paying so much attention to Kitty?
Georgiana decided that things were not going in the right direction. She had seen Caroline glance morosely in the direction of her cousin, but he had not looked at her once! She wondered what was the matter. If he likes her, she must be on his mind a lot, and he ought to look at her once in a while. Could I have misread all the signs in my enthusiasm? I do not know much about these things...but why does he ignore her? We cannot leave today, we cannot! Not before I know if they belong together. I wish we could stay, and Caroline too, but that is impossible. I wonder if there is a way...if she fell ill, we would not stay. If he fell ill, she would not stay. But I could not make them fall ill. If I fell ill, on the other hand...I could pretend to be ill...we would not leave, I am sure of it, and I could beg Caroline to stay. Yes, I shall just say that I would not want to burden her brother. I wonder if I could act convincingly ill... She immediately tried to bring on a headache by listening to Mrs. Bennet's every word.
Part 40
Posted on Tuesday, 01-Sep-98
Anyone who listened attentively to Mrs. Bennet for more than five minutes was sure to get a headache of some sorts, and Georgiana, who was not used to her, began to feel slightly ill. The fact that she wanted to feel ill helped a great deal. Excitement made her cheeks flush, and when they got into the carriage back to Netherfield she really looked a little feverish. She shared a carriage with Caroline and Colonel Fitzwilliam, but neither seemed to notice she was ill. They were sitting in opposite corners, both staring out of the window distractedly.
Georgiana sighed audibly and pressed her hand to her forehead. Caroline, who sat across from her, looked at her curiously. "Are you feeling all right?"
Georgiana sighed again and put on her most pathetic face. "I don't think so. I feel a little sick, and the motion of the carriage..."
"Are you going to be sick?" Caroline asked with concern. "Shall I have the carriage stopped?"
"No," Georgiana said weakly, "it is only a short trip to Netherfield, thankfully."
"Do you mean you cannot travel any further?" the Colonel asked. "You must stay at Netherfield then until you are better." He wondered what was wrong with her. She had seemed perfectly all right earlier, and Georgiana was generally a very healthy girl. He did not doubt her, because he had never known her to lie.
"Yes..." This was going very smoothly, Georgiana thought. "Caroline...I do not want to burden your brother, and I do not know Mrs. Bingley at all. Could you stay with me, please?" she pleaded desperately.
"Is it not enough that I stay with you? I am sure Miss Bingley would like to return to London," Colonel Fitzwilliam interjected.
"No!" Georgiana shook her head vehemently. "I need a woman."
"But of course, my dear," Caroline said. "If Charles does not mind, and I do not think he will. He never minds anything, and certainly not if this means he can spend more time with his wife."
"Thank you," Georgiana breathed gratefully. She hated to lie, and she blushed deeply, but fortunately this was mistaken for a slight fever.
"Do you want me to leave, Colonel? So you can amuse yourself with the local girls?" Caroline asked him.
He paled. "You sound as if you mind, Miss Bingley."
"Yes, of course I mind that you want me to leave! Who would not?"
"I was not talking about that."
"What were you talking about then? About the local girls? Well, go ahead! I will not stand in your way. Your cousin is dying and you are out having fun. What a good guardian you make."
He was speechless. "Georgiana is not dying."
"No, but if she had been dying, you would still have gone away and amused yourself."
"Oh, please!" he said with disgust. "Your exaggeration skills are beyond compare. I have no plans to amuse myself with local girls, I assure you. And what if I did? Why should you care?"
"I do not care, unless you have a sick cousin who depends on you," she said haughtily.
"What has gotten into you?" He was at his wits' end. She was utterly impossible again.
"What do you mean?"
"Was it really the brandy, however little of it you drank? Or am I facing your evil twin today?"
Georgiana listened to the exchange with wide eyes. Caroline's evil twin? Brandy?
Caroline looked annoyed. "Men are so indiscreet! That is the second time today one of my secrets was revealed."
"I would hardly call the existence of your evil twin a secret," he said, challenging her.
"Then do not be surprised by it, I would say," she said cattily.
Not another word was spoken, and Colonel Fitzwilliam wondered what had happened to Caroline. She seemed to dislike him again, suddenly, when last night they had gotten along so well. He did not understand it. Was it Darcy's marriage that upset her? Did she really love him then? I thought she was only infatuated with him because he is rich and well known. She is extremely catty today. No, not all day...what a contrast with this morning...she was so bright and cheerful, and I am almost sure she touched my hand on purpose. Why did she do that if she dislikes me? I really liked her last night, but now she is completely different. She drives me absolutely crazy.
Caroline went to Charles as soon as they got to Netherfield. "Georgiana is ill and she cannot travel back home. I think it is best that she stays, and she wants me to stay as well, so I can look after her and she will not be in your way."
Charles looked worried. "It is nothing bad, I hope? Should we call for the apothecary?"
"I do not think it is necessary. I expect she will be recovered tomorrow."
"Oh, good. I am glad. You know you are all welcome to stay as long as you like, Caroline."
She went upstairs to see Georgiana into bed. "Do you feel better now that you are lying down?"
"A little," the patient lied in a small voice.
"Would you like me to stay and talk to you for a while?"
"Yes, please."
Part 41
Caroline stayed with Georgiana and they talked about the wedding for a while until Georgiana realised that she was not advancing the match in the least if she kept one of the parties occupied and away from the other. Caroline had to go downstairs. She yawned and rubbed her eyes.
"Are you tired, Georgiana?"
"Yes, a little. I did not sleep very much last night."
"Shall I leave you then? I will go so you can get some rest. I will have your dinner sent up, if you are awake at dinnertime."
Georgiana smiled gratefully, but she hoped she would not be put on a sick diet, because she had a normal appetite.
Caroline spoke to the staff about Georgiana's dinner, and then she set out to find the others. Her brother and Jane were nowhere to be found, as she had expected, but Colonel Fitzwilliam was in the drawing room playing scales on the pianoforte. It sounded awful, but he stopped when she came in and gave him a pointed look before sitting down.
"How is Georgiana?" he asked before she could comment on his playing.
"She is resting." He looked at her searchingly as he walked over and it made her rather uncomfortable. "What is it?" she snapped.
He shrugged. "I was only trying to see if your claws were still out."
"My...claws? Are they? What if they are?" He did not answer her but announced that he was going up to see Georgiana instead. "You cannot! She is resting."
"You have only just left her, I presume. She cannot be asleep yet, and if she is, I shall not disturb her. Is that all right with you, Miss Bingley?" he said sarcastically. "Do not forget that I am her guardian."
Somehow he managed to make 'Miss Bingley' sound very ridiculous, as if he did not take her seriously at all. Suddenly she hated the sound of it. "If you cannot address me in a normal fashion," she called after him in a sharp voice as he left the room, "you might as well..."
Not address you at all?
"...call me Caroline."
He paused and turned with an incredulous look on his face. I cannot have heard that properly. She wants me to call her Caroline? Usually when a lady permitted him to address her by her first name, she spoke in a different tone, and she had something in mind. Miss Bingley's tone precluded any of the most common motives, and he wondered what she had in mind. He shook his head in amazement and continued on to Georgiana's room.
She was lying in bed reading a book. "How are you feeling? Miss...uhh...Caroline," he corrected himself awkwardly, "said you were resting."
"Miss Caroline?" Georgiana said with a smirk. She had observed that her cousin looked rather stunned when he had come into the room.
"I meant to say Caroline."
"Since when do you call her Caroline?"
He grimaced. "Since she ordered me to do so a few minutes ago."
Georgiana grinned broadly. "She ordered you?"
"I am not going to do it, though."
Her face fell. "Why not?"
"I do not think it was her intention."
Caroline took a little walk with Jane, and after dinner she showed Jane around the house when she found out that her brother had forgotten to do so. She went almost straight to bed after the light supper. She had had enough of this day.
In the middle of the night she woke up. She decided to check if Georgiana was asleep and put on her dressing gown. Georgiana sat up when she entered the room.
"You are awake!" Caroline exclaimed.
"Yes, I woke up because I was hungry."
"Would you like something to eat right now?"
"Oh, no. I will wait until breakfast," Georgiana said modestly.
"No, no, I will get you something. I will be right back," Caroline promised, and she left the room. It was dark, but she knew her way around fairly well so she had no trouble finding the stairs. Downstairs it was more difficult. It was no easy task to find the door to the kitchen--Caroline knew the general direction, but whenever she needed to go there, she knew which one it was by the noise that emanated from it. Now she was facing four doors and she had no idea which one it was. She opened one at random. A little passage was behind it, but she recalled there was also a little passage leading to the kitchen so she walked on. What she did not expect were the steps a little down the passage.
This is not the kitchen, she thought when she found herself sitting at the bottom of the stairs after sliding down them rather painfully. She got up and climbed the stairs again, but for some strange reason she could not open the door anymore because there was no handle.
"Oh, no!" she panicked, but however hard she tried, the door would not open without the handle. Caroline kicked the door in frustration. Nobody would be able to hear her until morning so there was no point in shouting.
Defeated, she thought of sitting down on the stone floor, but there was a bit of a draft near the door that made it quite uncomfortable to sit there, and besides it was probably terribly dirty. She descended the stairs and felt her way around with her arms outstretched. Her feet kicked at something that felt like a pile of blankets. She had no idea where she was, some cellar probably, but she was grateful for the blankets and sat down on them. Caroline felt really sorry for herself and she felt tears behind her eyes, but then she thought of Georgiana still waiting for her and she hoped that Georgiana would come down herself if she did not return. It gave her a little hope.
Part 42
When Caroline's eyes had gotten used to the dark she looked around her. At the far end of the space she was in there was some light. It was probably a window of some sorts, and she stumbled towards it, bruising herself on various objects in the process. Her heart leapt up when she saw a door by the moonlight that came through the small window. I can get out of here! She pushed back the bolts and found herself outside. She walked around the house and tried the doors, but surprisingly enough they were all locked. Caroline was a little annoyed by this little setback. Should there not be at least one door open for people who get locked out accidentally? she muttered. Knocking on the front door was not an option either--it would wake the whole house up and draw attention to her particularly disheveled appearance.
Georgiana is awake. She can open a door for me. Quickly she ran to the other side of the house where Georgiana's bedroom was situated. How could she attract Georgiana's attention? She called, but she dared not call too loud, for fear of waking up anyone else. She feared she had not called loud enough, so she called a little louder. There was still no sign of Georgiana.
Perhaps if she threw something against the window? Caroline looked around her and picked up a pine cone. She threw it in the direction of Georgiana's window, but she missed. She threw some more. Somehow all of the pine cones she threw had a deviation to the right, so she aimed far left now. Of course this one had to go straight to where she had aimed and it hit the wrong window. Caroline winced. Of course it had to be the window of the one person she did not want to see her in this state. He would only make fun of her. She hurled another pine cone at Georgiana's window and hoped he had not heard.
"Caroline!" he called.
She froze, one hand behind her ready to throw. Oh, no! She wanted to sink into the ground.
"What are you doing?" he sounded amused.
Caroline dropped the cone. "Could you please come down and open a door for me?" she asked with as much dignity as she could muster.
"Ooooooooh" he said, as if something dawned on him. "You are trying to get in!"
She swallowed whatever snappy comment she was going to make, thinking that it would be better not to antagonize him now that she depended on him to let her in. "Yes, could you please let me in?" she asked patiently in her friendliest voice.
"Certainly. I will have the library doors open in five minutes," he said, and he closed his window.
Five minutes! I am beginning to freeze out here. It was a rather cold night, with a clear sky with no clouds to keep the warmth of the day near the ground. Hugging herself, she walked towards the library.
Colonel Fitzwilliam dressed himself with a smile on his face. He had first woken up when she called Georgiana, because he always slept with his window open to a tiny crack. When something had hit his window he had gotten out of bed to see what was happening. He had been very much surprised by the sight of Caroline throwing things at somebody else's window. What is she doing outside dressed like that?
He grinned as he recalled her obvious mortification. She had evidently not been aiming at his window, but probably at Georgiana's. He was also amused by her polite request that he open a door for her. She must really be desperate to get in. I wonder how she got outside, but she is not very likely to tell me. The Colonel hurried downstairs to the library. He did not want to keep her waiting too long in the cold.
She did not look at him when she walked past him and murmured, "Thank you." He observed that she looked as if she had been crawling through the dust and it puzzled him a great deal, because he could not imagine her willingly ruining her appearance in such a way.
Her hair hung on her back in a long braid and it fascinated him immensely. "You have a cobweb in your braid," he remarked casually.
"Oh, I do?" She turned in alarm and swung the braid over her shoulder to examine it.
"What happened to your hands?" Fitzwilliam exclaimed with concern. They appeared to be scratched and grazed.
"Oh," she winced as she examined them. "I had not noticed in the dark."
"Let me see."
She shook her head and hid her hands behind her back. "No, that is not necessary. It does not hurt."
"One cut appears to be bleeding," he insisted.
She closed her eyes and held out her hands. "I cannot stand blood," she breathed. "Get it off me."
Part 43
Colonel Fitzwilliam sat her down at a table, took her hands and gently wiped them clean with a handkerchief that he had dipped into a decanter of water. Caroline did not want to look, afraid as she was of blood, even if it was not there, so instead she studied his face as he concentrated on her hands. She had never looked at him so closely before, and indeed when she had tried to recall his face one time she had not been able to do it. She was busy studying his eyes and had not noticed that he had finished with her hands, when she suddenly saw that his eyes were looking at her.
"Is it interesting?" he asked.
"You have blue eyes," she blurted out as if she saw them for the first time.
"Yes, I have had them ever since I was born," he agreed with a twinkle.
Caroline felt rather embarrassed. Oh! Why do I have to be so squeamish about blood? He must think I am really silly now, especially after what I just said about his eyes. Why did I never notice his eyes were blue? Why did I never notice that he was so good looking? And I hope he never finds out what I was doing outside. I would not survive it. Her embarrassment grew and she wanted to get away from him, but then she remembered Georgiana. She could not walk away and go to her bedroom, and then return downstairs to get something to eat for Georgiana. She could not make her wait that long. Unbeknownst to her, her face displayed some of her emotions as she tried to think of a suitable course of action. If she went to the kitchen right now, he would want to know what she had been doing outside, no doubt, and that was something she was never going to tell him. She just had to hope he would not ask her.
She rose. "Good night, and thank you," she said stiffly.
Fitzwilliam also rose and bowed. "Good night, Caroline. It was my pleasure." He handed her a candle. "Take this. You seem to have come down without one."
She nodded her thanks. Caroline? Oh, right, I told him to address me as Caroline. But his pleasure? Of course! He will think it extremely funny to tell tales of my nightly wanderings at the breakfast table... She left the room and walked towards the kitchen, hesitating in front of the second door. She hoped it was the right one and that he would not follow her to ask what she was doing. After looking in innumerable cupboards she found some fruit and bread and a plate to carry it up on. Caroline glanced about her in the hall, but she did not see the Colonel. Carefully she climbed the stairs, balancing the plate rather gingerly in her grazed hand, and walked to Georgiana's room.
Georgiana was half asleep, but she woke when Caroline entered. "I thought you had forgotten me," she said with relief. "Thank you."
"I am sorry. I...got delayed." She shivered, because she was very cold.
"Oh! What happened?" asked Georgiana, biting off a piece of bread.
"I will tell you later, perhaps, but not now." She shivered again. "I had better go back to bed. Will you be all right?"
Georgiana nodded. "Thank you, Caroline. It was really very kind of you," she said shyly.
"Not at all," Caroline said. "Good night, Georgiana."
"Good night." Georgiana ate on and wondered what could have delayed Caroline for about half an hour. What...or who...
Colonel Fitzwilliam was highly intrigued. He knew that she would not have told him what she had been doing outside, so he had not asked, but he did wonder about it, and what she had done to her hands. There had been only one little scratch that had been bleeding, and he had been rather surprised to see her react so strongly to the mention of blood. Perhaps she was human only in her dressing gown, he speculated. Her dressing gown made her look somewhat younger and more vulnerable. With her hair in a braid...what would it look like hanging loose?
He had taken his time, and he admitted, a little longer than his time, to clean her hands of dirt. Her hands had been very cold, which was no wonder if she had been outside. He had been tempted to rub them a little to warm them up, but he dared not do it, one reason being that he was afraid that it might be painful for her.
Caroline had left the library after some kind of internal struggle, but he heard a door open somewhere else. He was so curious that he shamelessly peeked around the library door until she reappeared holding a plate with food. Food? What is she going to do with that? Is she hungry? He followed her up a few minutes later, and went to bed with lots of questions.
Caroline slept late the next morning with a slight headache. She had of course been awake during some part of the night, and when she had finally returned to bed, it had taken a very long time before she did not feel the cold any more. When she finally came down for breakfast, she saw that the others had already finished long ago.
After drinking tea, which was all she managed, she went upstairs to check on Georgiana, and found Colonel Fitzwilliam there, who had brought his cousin her breakfast tray.
"Good morning, Caroline," Georgiana greeted her rather tiredly. Her cousin mumbled his greetings as well.
Caroline's eyes flickered to the tray and back. "You have not eaten?" she wanted to ask, but her voice was gone and all she could manage was a hoarse whisper. It surprised her and the two others alike.
"Oh Caroline! You sound ill. I am sorry, I did not catch what you said," Georgiana said in a concerned voice.
Caroline shook her head and gestured at the tray.
"No, I do not feel very well. I slept very little last night as you know. Are you feeling all right?"
Caroline nodded, but she grimaced as the nodding sent a sharp pain through her head. She closed her eyes briefly.
"Perhaps I should not have asked you to get me something to eat. Perhaps you should lie down until tea?"
"No, I cannot," Caroline whispered. "I am not ill."
"Excuse me, may I have a word with you outside?" Colonel Fitzwilliam, who had been watching her closely, cut in.
Part 44
Colonel Fitzwilliam closed the door behind them. Caroline could guess what he wanted to have a word about. He wanted her to admit that she was ill.
"Go to bed," he said sympathetically.
She shook her head obstinately. "There is nothing wrong with me," she whispered.
"I ought to be grateful for this opportunity to speak almost freely without you interrupting to throw me off balance, but I am rather worried about you."
Caroline rolled her eyes.
"I see you do not believe me. Do not be such a fool! You do not lack anything in understanding and you know very well that you are not well. I shall be forced to call the apothecary if you refuse to go of your own accord."
"I do not need one."
"You will be needing one if you do not lie down. I did not want to mention this in front of Georgiana because if she had known about it she would have told me, so you obviously did not want to tell her, but you are going to have to explain to the apothecary how you came by this cold, and what you were doing outside in the middle of the night. Do you realise that? Somehow I had not thought you would enjoy the explanation or you would have volunteered it."
She stared at the ground, unable to meet his eyes. Surprisingly, his words made sense, but she did not want to give in so easily. He is right, I should lie down before it gets worse, but it is almost blackmail! On the other hand, he is not telling Georgiana. Why is he being so considerate? Her headache made that she could not think clearly. It was too difficult.
He saw she was going over the implications of what he had just told her and he waited for the obvious objection.
"But Georgiana..." she protested weakly. She knew it was in vain--she could not argue anymore.
"Do not worry about Georgiana. I have looked after a sick Georgiana before. It would be better if you went to bed, and stop thinking that you always have to disagree with me."
"I do not always disagree with you. You always disagree with me."
"Are you going?"
"Perhaps."
"Do not fool me, I know you."
"You do not."
"Yes, I do. You have already decided that you will go, but for some reason you do not want to admit to me that I had a good idea. Let me give you another incentive. You must have looked at your own reflection in the mirror this morning and you must have noticed..."
Caroline had noticed the bags under her eyes. "It does not matter," she lied.
"Give in," he said in a weary tone. "No, forget it. I give up. Go and walk around until you collapse, but do not expect me to be there to catch you." He went into Georgiana's room again, leaving Caroline outside.
She leant her back against the wall and put her hands in front of her eyes. Why am I being so difficult? Why can I not say he is right and just go? I do want to go. Now he is angry with me, no worse, because anger passes. He has had enough of me and my silliness. She let her legs give way and slid down until she was seated against the wall. She put her head between her knees and cried, not caring if anyone would pass.
"Is Caroline going to bed?" Georgiana asked.
He sighed. "She is being extra difficult. I do not understand why you never have any problems with her."
Georgiana suppressed a smile. I am a girl. "What kind of problems?"
Fitzwilliam shrugged. "She drives me insane."
Now she really laughed. "Perhaps you drive her insane as well."
"I could not make her more insane than she already is. She is a complete mystery to me. Last night--"
"What happened?" Georgiana pressed him to continue when he stopped abruptly.
"I do not care if she did not want anyone to know. I woke up because she was throwing things at your window in the middle of the night. Why do you think she is ill? She was outside in her nightgown with only a thin dressing gown over it. Her hands felt like ice."
"Her hands?" Georgiana exclaimed in a very interested voice. She wanted to know more. "You held her hands?"
He looked slightly uncomfortable. "Not exactly. Her hands were scratched, you see, and she cannot bear the sight of blood, so I..."
"But how did you happen to be awake?"
"She missed your window and hit mine, and then she very sweetly asked me to open a door for her. I do not know how she locked herself out, but she was covered in dust..."
Georgiana held a hand in front of her mouth to hide her grin.
"...and then she told me my eyes were blue."
She burst into giggles. This was too good to be true! "Do you mean you and Caroline--in her nightgown--held hands in the middle of the night, and then she gazed into your eyes and told you they were blue?" she asked innocently.
"It was not like that," he said defensively.
"Oh, I am sure it was not," she said with some disappointment. "Was that all or is there more?"
"Georgiana!" he reprimanded her. "That was all." He looked at her suspiciously. "Are you still ill?"
"Yes, and so is Caroline. I think you should try again. Or let me try."
He sighed. "I will see. Eat your breakfast."
He left the room again and saw Caroline sitting there. Oh no, she is crying. What do I do? He had no idea, so he squatted in front of her. "Caroline?" he said softly.
She sniffed in reply.
"Why are you crying?"
She sniffed again.
He stood up and pulled her up by her hands. She was still looking down. She is not feeling well, but there must be more. Why else would she cry like that? He always gave his sister a hug if she looked so dejected. This was not his sister, but she still looked as if she was in need of a comforting hug. He hesitated.
Part 45
Caroline stood looking at the floor when he surprised her by gently putting his arms around her. She gasped soundlessly when she suddenly found herself in an embrace. When the initial shock and fear wore off, she realised that it was actually a very comforting gesture to be held, especially by him, and she became less rigid and awkward. She felt herself relax slowly and closed her eyes. I can actually feel his heartbeat and his breathing... She was a little disappointed when he released her after a while.
"I locked Darcy out once," he said unexpectedly.
"Mr. Darcy?" she whispered, shocked that anyone would consider doing that to Mr. Darcy. "Why?"
"When he was still little Fitzwilliam," he grinned. "I had thrown Richard out of the window--"
Caroline looked shocked. "Richard? Did you throw somebody out of a window?" Do not tell me you did that!
"No! He had a cuddly bear and I told him thought it was an ugly thing. Of course he was upset because he was rather fond of the ugly thing, so he called it Richard--"
"He was rather fond of it so he called it Richard?" Caroline teased. Her face expressed disbelief.
He laughed. "No! He called it Richard because he said it resembled me and he wanted to get back at me. You are to quick for me. Let me finish."
"I am sure you were not an ugly thing," she whispered doubtfully. He could not have been ugly. He must have been a cute little boy.
"Older cousins are ugly by definition," he said gravely. "Especially when they..."
"...are terrible teases."
He nodded. "He told me he would call it Richard, and then I threw it out of the window. Of course he demanded that I go down and fetch it, but I was two years older and much taller, so I refused. He had to go down himself but he took my bear with him without me noticing it. When I finally did, I ran after him and locked him out. He spent two hours on the lawn crying in his nightdress until my father let him in."
"You were very naughty! I am not sure what I shall be thinking the next time I see Mr. Darcy."
"Call me Richard in front of him," he advised her with a mischievous smile. "I predict that he will turn purple because it will remind him of that one time and I do not have to explain that it was very embarrassing for him."
Caroline laughed hoarsely and started to cough. Bingley came walking around the corner and stared at his sister with some surprise. He could not quite make out if she was crying--her eyes were swollen and red--or laughing. "Are you all right, Caroline?"
She nodded. "I am ill. I shall go and lie down."
He looked faintly surprised when he saw Colonel Fitzwilliam smile. "Since when is illness something to laugh at? And why are you whispering, Caroline?"
Caroline smiled tiredly and gestured that she could not speak. She gave Colonel Fitzwilliam a grateful smile and mouthed her thanks. With a slight curtsey to both gentlemen she walked down the passageway.
The gentlemen departed for the library. Bingley looked puzzled. "Is she ill? She is never ill."
"She has a cold, I believe."
"I do not understand how everyone comes to be ill all of a sudden. Why was she crying? She never cries."
"I did not ask her."
"You are not very curious. I would have asked her immediately. It is a pity she is ill now. I had wanted to take advantage of her staying longer and ask her to explain the accounts thing to me."
"The accounts thing?" his companion asked.
"Expenses and all that," Bingley said vaguely. "Now that she is not going to be living with me I am going to have to do it myself, and to tell you the truth...I have no idea how Caroline did it."
"Do you mean Caroline...Miss Bingley...your sister always took care of that?" He could see her do that, rather than Bingley.
"Exactly. She did try to explain it to me last week but I was thinking of Jane and I could not really concentrate."
"And now you are no longer thinking of Jane?" Fitzwilliam asked a little mystified.
"It is different. She is always with me now that we are married. I do no longer have to anticipate going to Longbourn," Bingley explained. He slapped his forehead when he suddenly realised something. "I went upstairs to show her Louisa's letter and I completely forgot. Louisa is my elder sister, and she writes that I am going to be an uncle."
"Congratulations."
"Thank you. I shall enjoy it, but I am not sure Caroline will. I cannot see her in raptures over being an aunt. She will think it makes her old. You saw how she reacted when I accidentally revealed her age."
"Yes, she was devastated," he said dryly. He had thought about the event and had come to the conclusion that it had been a skillfully engineered revelation.
"Sometimes people ask me how I can be her brother. They seem to think she is rather difficult. I do not claim to understand her, but I have never had any problems with her. Have you? You may be honest with me."
Colonel Fitzwilliam was rather taken aback at this question.
"I see you do, or you would have denied it straight away."
"I like a good battle."
Bingley gave him a shrewd look, and the Colonel feared he would press him for more, but Jane's arrival saved him from disclosing how much he enjoyed arguing with Caroline. As Bingley and Jane were talking about something else he had the opportunity to recall the scene upstairs. It had surprised him how good it felt to hold her, and it had been so good to see her cheered up after his story.
Part 46
When Caroline was in her bed she had time to think of what had happened. She had really felt better after the hug, although she had been a little stunned at first. She could not remember if anyone had ever hugged her; if they had, it must have been very long ago. It had helped very well, and she was touched by his kindness. He still had not asked her what she had been doing outside, and she appreciated it, although she suspected that should he have asked her right after his story, she would have told him. He would not have made fun of her then, she was sure.
Mr. Bennet, who had for a while been able to restrain his wife from traveling to Netherfield to see how her eldest daughter was faring, had given up, and Netherfield was honoured with her presence that afternoon. Kitty was accompanying her, for Mrs. Bennet had heard through the grapevine that Colonel Fitzwilliam had not left yet, and she had become a little overconfident with two daughters so recently married. Neither Bingley nor Jane looked very surprised by her visit, but Colonel Fitzwilliam could not imagine that they were overjoyed. They had barely been married a day.
"Jane, we came to see how you were doing. I am so glad you live nearby."
Jane only smiled.
"And I have brought Kitty," her mother continued. "I was sure she would enjoy the company here more than at home, will you not, Kitty?" She looked just a little too long at the Colonel.
Kitty looked embarrassed.
"It is a pity that Miss Darcy is ill," said Jane.
"Yes, we heard about that," Mrs. Bennet revealed. "Otherwise Kitty could have become great friends with Miss Darcy. Miss Darcy might invite you to lots of balls, and you will get the chance to meet lots of fashionable people." Kitty looked even more embarrassed. She preferred to choose her own friends.
Mrs. Bennet rambled on some more, informing Jane and Bingley of all Meryton's morning gossip. Colonel Fitzwilliam fidgeted in his chair. He wondered how Bingley could keep such a polite countenance while he himself was so desperately in need of an understanding person to pull a face at.
"If you wish, we could go up and see if Georgiana is well enough to see you," he said to Kitty after a while when the amorous adventures of Meryton's inhabitants could no longer excite his interest. Kitty readily assented to the plan, and even Mrs. Bennet thought it a great idea.
Georgiana was reading a book, and she looked rather pleased to see them.
"Are you well enough to receive a visitor?" he asked.
"Oh, yes, I am quite well at the moment."
He got the girls talking, and then he sat back and listened for a while, but then his thoughts drifted off until he suddenly realised that they were whispering so he could not hear them anymore. Obviously their conversation was not intended for his ears. He decided to leave them alone and excused himself. To his great surprise he saw Caroline standing in her door-opening.
"Are you feeling better?" he asked.
"No, but I was hoping you were Georgiana."
"She has Miss Bennet with her, but why did you need her?"
"Something to drink." Her voice still had not returned and she had decided to speak as few words as possible.
"Shall I get you something?"
Caroline nodded gratefully.
Caroline had gotten back into bed but she had left the door open. Walking had made her feel rather unwell, but her headache subsided now that she was lying down again. He returned with the drink and announced that he had got the cook to make a special brew.
"Yuck," she said, eyeing the liquid distastefully. "I suppose it will be disgusting."
He set the tray down on her night table, and stood there a little uncomfortable looking around himself as if he had never been in a bedchamber.
"Is something the matter?" she asked curiously.
"Uhh...no. I had better go," he said hastily.
"Oh," her whisper was barely audible. "No one can stay with me. Why did Louisa have to go away?" she wailed.
"Your brother received a letter from her."
"Why did he not tell me?"
"He forgot."
"What was in it? Did he tell you?"
"You are going to be an aunt."
She was silent. Louisa is going to have a baby. Louisa. A baby. She always wanted one. She must be very happy. I should be happy for her. I am happy for her.
Colonel Fitzwilliam watched her facial expression curiously. "You do not mind?"
"Why would I mind? I am not having one."
"Bingley said you would think it made you old."
"It does, but I already know I am old, so it does not signify."
He rolled his eyes and sat down on a chair, forgetting that he ought to be going. "I do not think you are old, because I do not think I am old, and I am older."
"Mrs. Bennet thinks I am thirty," she said in horror.
"How absolutely shocking! Thirty is definitely ancient," he said sarcastically. "How do you know Mrs. Bennet thinks that?"
"I overheard her say it." Oh no! He must be thirty. Did I just offend him?
"When?"
"At the wedding."
"At the wedding," he repeated, recalling her bad mood. "I see. Is Mrs. Bennet a reliable source?"
"No," she admitted.
"And besides," he continued with a straight face, "you had already subtly informed all of us of your age at the breakfast table."
"Not subtle enough, if you noticed, but more subtle than you just did. I apologise if you were offended in any way, I did not mean to imply you were old..."
"I do not think you can offend me." He got up reluctantly. "I should not be here."
"Oh! Charles would not care, I am sure. Should people not always do what the patient wants?"
"What does the patient want?"
"I want somebody to talk to."
"Shall I get Mrs. Bennet for you? She is downstairs and she can fill you in on the latest developments between the butcher's daughter and one of her brother Phillips' clerks. She will talk and talk, and you can spare your voice."
Part 47
Caroline looked incredulous. "No! You cannot do that to me. Please, I beg you to tell me you were only teasing me."
"Indeed I was not," Colonel Fitzwilliam said seriously.
"You were, were you not?" Caroline was certain that he was fooling her, but she was not quite sure of it because his face betrayed nothing. It would be just the sort of thing he would do to tease her.
"I take it you do not consider it a good idea?" he said in a disappointed tone. "Nevertheless, I shall ask her to entertain you. I am sure Bingley will not mind if I take her off his hands."
She was ready to throw something at him out of frustration but she hit her fist on the covers instead. "Colonel! I forbid you to leave this room and go downstairs to get Mrs. Bennet."
He raised an eyebrow. "What are you going to call me when I become a General? And tell me if you really think I would obey such an order."
"A gentleman should always comply with a lady's wishes."
"A gentleman should also always try to discreetly withdraw from inappropriate situations."
"A gentleman should not strive to lead a lady into an inappropriate situation in which she cannot vouch for her civility by exposing her to certain persons."
"A gentleman should always have the lady's best interest at heart, and try to present a better alternative to any indecent schemes the lady might come up with."
"This hypothetical gentleman and hypothetical lady must be two people we do not know. I cannot think of anyone who fits your description," Caroline said sharply.
"I suppose that is because they are hypothetical?"
"A hypothetical gentleman would go along with a hypothetical lady's schemes, however wrongly he may mistake them for indecent, because they are both hypothetical."
"What would hypothetical people think of such indecent actions?"
"Well, they would not think anything of it because there was not anything to think about. It sounds to me as if the hypothetical gentleman is rather worried about his image."
"I do not know. He is hypothetical."
"This hypothetical paragon of virtue," she said, her whisper dripping with sarcasm, "has, I suppose, never done anything improper?"
"You sound as if you do not believe it."
"Of course I do not believe it because I have evidence to the contrary. Had we already established what the indecent scheme was about?"
"I believe it had to do with the gentleman being in the lady's bedchamber."
"And he thought this indecent?"
"Improper, certainly."
"It sounds as if the was already in the bedchamber, and thus already behaving in a most improper fashion."
"That was because he was engaged in a discussion with the lady and he could not rudely abandon her."
"How gallant. Still, he must have entered at some point and he brought it down on himself. He should not accuse the lady of trying to engage him in indecent schemes."
"He is very gallant, indeed," Colonel Fitzwilliam could not resist saying.
"And the lady is so indecent that she would have thrown something at him for saying so, should she have had an object available."
"The lady would have missed. She only hits what she wants to miss."
Caroline grinned. "So, our hypothetical lady and gentleman were having a discussion. Excuse me, but I fail to see the impropriety of it."
"A gentleman should not be in a lady's bedchamber."
"He must have come in himself, though. I cannot imagine the lady carrying him in. How did he enter?"
"Through the door."
"Really? And the thought of indecency did not cross his mind when he crossed the threshold?"
"It did, but he had no option."
"Why not? Did the lady threaten him?"
"No."
"Why then?"
"The lady was ill and he had offered to get her a drink."
"He offered this because she was ill?"
"Yes."
"His idea was to bring the lady the drink and then to leave her all alone?"
Fitzwilliam hesitated. "Yes."
"I thought we had established the hypothetical gentleman as being gallant?"
"I suppose there is an end to his gallantry, and I thought we had established the hypothetical lady as being ill?"
"Oh, she is, especially when she walks and sits, that is why she cannot leave her bed. Must the poor lady be all alone because propriety dictates that she may only be visited by people who are otherwise engaged or who will make her even more ill? Oh! Were you teasing or were you not when you said you would fetch Mrs. Bennet?"
"I was," he admitted. "I would not inflict her upon somebody who was ill, although it does not seem to have affected your tongue. In theory it seemed a good idea. You would be entertained, and you would not have to speak."
A small smile played across her lips. "I am glad. I never wanted you so much to be teasing."
Part 48
"Caroline..."
"Richard?"
His eyes widened slightly, but other than that he showed no reaction. "I should be going. I must change for dinner," Colonel Fitzwilliam said. He was glad to have a reason she could not attack. "You will not be joining us, I presume?"
"I will come down for dinner," she made up her mind quickly. "I have only a very slight headache now."
"Can you undergo exposure to certain persons and stay civil?" He leant forwards and squeezed her hand, as if to encourage her.
Caroline blushed and fell silent. After an awkward pause during which neither looked at the other, but mainly at their hands, Fitzwilliam rose abruptly. "I am glad you are feeling better."
Shortly after he had left, she was joined by Jane, who apologised profusely for being delayed by her mother. She wisely did not mention that Mrs. Bennet had suggested that they ought to be very happy now that Caroline was ill. "Are you feeling better now?"
"Yes, I am, thank you. Do not worry about not coming sooner. I have been sleeping for very long."
"I brought you some more of this drink," Jane said. "Cook told me that Colonel Fitzwilliam came to get it for you. I have already been neglecting my duties! I must thank him for his kindness, but he miraculously disappeared after he left Kitty with Georgiana."
Caroline said nothing.
"Should I have dinner sent up for you?"
"Oh, no. I feel quite well enough to come down for dinner."
"Good! Georgiana is coming down as well, and my parents and sisters will also be joining us."
I hope I will not be seated by Mrs. Bennet. "How nice for you to have your family nearby."
"Yes, for me not so much will change as for Elizabeth. I dare say I have the best of both worlds. I live with my husband, but I can still see my family whenever I want. I shall leave you now to get dressed. I will see you downstairs."
Jane had done well in seating everyone at the dinner table. Mrs. Bennet was not too close to Mr. Bennet, and the Colonel was seated between her and Kitty. The arrangements were in general to everybody's liking, except that Caroline would have wished to sit a little further away from Mrs. Bennet, and Kitty would have preferred to sit closer to Georgiana.
"Why are you not wearing your regimentals tonight, Colonel?" Mrs. Bennet asked at the earliest opportunity. "I am sure all the ladies would have preferred you in it."
"They would lose their special flavour completely if I wore them daily. They would degrade into something common," said Colonel Fitzwilliam, "and the ladies would no longer think it worth their attention."
"I never tire of a red coat," Mrs. Bennet declared with great confidence.
"Do you mean you always wear a red coat?" the Colonel asked innocently.
"No, I never tire of seeing officers. They look so very smart in their red coats."
"I do not agree with you at all. I think that red is a highly unsuitable colour. It clashes with so many other colours," Caroline said, seeing that Colonel Fitzwilliam was out to have some fun.
"You are very right," Colonel Fitzwilliam said seriously. "I could never be persuaded to dance with a lady in a pink dress, or indeed one with red hair."
"That would be horrid!" his partner in crime exclaimed in her hoarse voice. "I am certain that you would be expelled from the ball."
"I am sure Colonel Fitzwilliam would never be expelled from a ball!" cried Mrs. Bennet.
"I should hope not," Fitzwilliam said, "but I shall be careful nevertheless. The last time I danced with a lady in orange she stepped on my toes. Reddish colours must be jinxed."
"Could she not dance?" Mrs. Bennet asked in wonder. "I wonder why you should dance with such unaccomplished ladies, Colonel."
"I am sure she was influenced by the colour of her gown," he said, "but I cannot remember if I was wearing red or not, I think not, so if we clashed at all, it would most likely just have been our minds and not our clothes."
The rest of the table had been following their discourse with some attention, and most were wondering if there was any sense to the conversation.
"Blue goes well with red," Mrs. Bennet thought out loud.
"Excellent idea, Mrs. Bennet. I shall make a point of it only to pay attention to ladies in blue from now on."
"I should think that will be a very short-lived decision," Mr. Bennet said dryly, upon observing that his wife was dressed in blue, as was Caroline.
"Mr. Bennet!" his wife cried. "I am wearing blue!"
"That was my point."
"And mine," the Colonel added, but nobody seemed to catch his meaning.
"I wonder if Lizzy enjoys her time at Pemberley," Mrs. Bennet said. "I should so much like to visit her to see it all. I understand it is very grand and I have a daughter living there!"
"What a coincidence. My cousin lives there!" Colonel Fitzwilliam exclaimed in surprise. This was a bit too much, and the girls giggled.
"I have a hypothesis," Caroline began with a meaningful look across the table. You tell me to keep my tongue in check but you are far worse! This learned word earned her even Mary Bennet's attention. "About conduct."
He smiled. "Point taken. You must explain it to me some other time. I am sure we do not want to bore the rest of the table."
Although the other people at the table looked as if they thought Caroline was offended by this answer, she was satisfied with it, for Colonel Fitzwilliam struck up a conversation with somebody else, but he was not so satisfied with Kitty as his conversational partner.
After dinner, the gentlemen departed to the library to enjoy a drink. Mr. Bennet eyed Bingley's fidgeting with the glasses in the other corner of the room with detached amusement. "He cannot wait to return to his wife." He nudged Fitzwilliam. "I wonder what he will think after being married for a while. I do not see you too uncomfortable without your wife, and she does not seem to be devoid of any sense."
Fitzwilliam looked stunned. "My wife, sir?"
"Are you not married to Bingley's sister?" asked Mr. Bennet, who had been put on the wrong foot by their seemingly domestic quarrel in Longbourn's hall a few days before, and their conduct at the dinner table. He had not paid attention during any introductions before the wedding.
"No," he said, still recovering.
Mr. Bennet frowned. "Engaged?"
"No."
"Odd," was Mr. Bennet's comment. "You make a good team at a dinner table. Only the two of you seemed to know exactly what the other meant. That usually requires some intimacy."