Beginning, Section II, Next Section
Part 24
Posted on Tuesday, 28 July 1998
Caroline decided to ignore Colonel Fitzwilliam and began speaking to his sister Catherine instead. "Do you come here often?"
"Quite often. My husband and I visit as much as we can, and if he is away on business I must depend on friends and relatives to accompany me. I must apologise for my brother's behaviour," she said. "He is being particularly teasing to you this evening."
"Oh, I shall ignore him," Caroline assured her. "I have a brother myself, and I know how irritating they can be, although he grew out of it when he reached his twenties."
Catherine laughed. "His twenties, oh dear! I have had no such luck with mine. How many brothers and sisters do you have?"
"I have an older sister who is married, and a younger brother who is not married yet, although it may not be very long before he is."
Meanwhile, the Colonel had been hearing the particulars of the play from Georgiana until they came to their carriage. He could tell that Miss Bingley was not very pleased with him, so he was a bit subdued. He helped his female party into the carriage and climbed in himself. He sat down next to Miss Bingley because his two relatives had very innocently placed themselves next to each other.
"I hope you enjoyed the play, Miss Bingley," Catherine said.
"Yes, I did, I must thank Georgiana for inviting me. I did see almost all of the play, although I missed out on a bit of the first act and the last act." In the dark she directed a reproachful stare at her neighbour who was looking out of the window.
He turned at her words. "Oh yes, the memorable moment when the wheel broke. I must say, it was an awful shock. I was sitting very comfortably talking to Miss Bingley when the carriage shook very badly and suddenly I had Miss Bingley--" An elbow hitting his ribcage pretty hard prevented him from finishing his sentence with, "in my lap." He was too shocked to say anything. Did she do that or was it a pothole in the road? I cannot believe she really did that! She must have truly been disgusted about being thrown into my lap. I shall humour her just this once and not mention it, he thought goodhumouredly.
"You had Miss Bingley? Go on," Georgiana pressed anxiously. She had rightly guessed that given the motion of the carriage there were only a few possible things that could finish the sentence about what Miss Bingley had been doing.
Georgiana is getting too shrewd. What shall I have Miss Bingley do? Crying? Worried? Yes, worried. About being late. Very respectable, is it not?
"I had Miss Bingley, ouch!" he gasped as she poked him again. You are in for it now, my dear Miss Bingley, if you do not stop poking me. "Whining endlessly about her hair being disarranged, and-- ah, I must have hurt some ribs in that accident," he said, as she poked him a third time, though a little less hard.
Both Georgiana and Catherine snorted a little as they tried to visually imagine the scene of the accident.
"I was not whining," Caroline defended herself angrily. Why does he have to come up with something that makes me look ridiculous? He is bent on making me look like a fool. He could easily have said something else, or better, he could not have mentioned it at all if he were really a gentleman.
"Oh," he said dangerously. "It is either whining or the other thing, take your pick."
Caroline could not decide which was better--being mocked or embarrassed--so she said nothing. She was grateful that it was dark outside so no one could see her blush.
"What other thing?" Catherine asked, interested in this strange history.
"Please..." Caroline pleaded. "Can we move on to a new subject?"
Part 25
Posted on Thursday, 30 July 1998
They talked about the weather and travelling until they reached the Hursts' townhouse in Grosvenor Street. Colonel Fitzwilliam had been predominantly silent after they had changed the subject. He had only spoken when someone asked him something, and then he replied in his usual way. He got out of the carriage when the carriage stopped and said, "I shall see you safely in, Miss Bingley."
Caroline was tempted to comment on the 'safely', but she held her tongue and took her leave of Lady Catherine and Georgiana instead. Then she let the Colonel escort her inside. "I sincerely hope you enjoyed yourself tonight, Miss Bingley. Are your sister and brother already returned?" he asked politely.
"They are not in yet, I think, or I would have seen them by now. And you, Colonel? Have you enjoyed yourself?" she said a little disapprovingly.
"Certainly, but I always enjoy myself, as you well know," he replied cheerfully, knowing very well what she was getting at.
"Yes, I know," she said sarcastically. "You enjoy yourself a little too much sometimes."
"One can never enjoy oneself too much," Colonel Fitzwilliam answered as he studied the hall of the Hursts' house and the paintings that hung there.
"I disagree."
He grinned. "You are as always very predictable."
"And you are not?" Caroline said indignantly. If he is going to quote another sonnet, I will scream!
"I should hope not. Although," he added reflectively, "you certainly seemed to be able to predict what I was going to say in the carriage. You were right that first time, but not the second. I got what I deserved, I suppose, for the first attempt. But it really pains me that you did not have enough faith in me to let me finish the second attempt," he said solemnly.
"So you made a fool out of me?" she said angrily. He was going to say something different the second time? And how on earth can he expect me to trust his words?
"I can think of two very appropriate lines of a sonnet for this moment, but I shall not quote them because I fear I have already tried your patience with sonnets too much. Have I not?"
Ha! He is so predictable! I knew it. "You are free to quote lines from sonnets as much as you wish," she shrugged, but she did not scream. "For I will know their worth, which is nothing."
He smiled. "I shall not quote anything now unless I do not mean it."
This remark puzzled her a bit. "Do you mean you were going to say something you meant? I do not understand how you could ever aspire to say things you mean. It seems to me as if you never know what you mean, except that you mean to confuse people and laugh at the confusion."
"Perhaps," said the Colonel, who could not quite make sense of it. "I shall leave you now, Miss Bingley. The carriage is waiting." He said goodbye and kissed her hand gallantly, and then left.
Catherine and Georgiana started discussing the evening as soon as the other two left the carriage. "Well, have I ever!" Catherine exclaimed. "This was certainly the most interesting carriage ride I ever experienced."
"What did she do?" Georgiana wondered aloud. "Did she hit him?"
"She gave him an elbow? But it was very mean of him to say that she was whining, although he could not really have thought that we would believe that."
"Caroline thought we did."
"Yes, poor girl," her cousin said feelingly. "But she is not helpless, she can handle him very well. Her tongue is quick and sharp enough and he enjoys it. I know he does. As his sister, I can tell these things. Do you think I am influenced by the play, Georgiana? Am I seeing too much?"
"Too much of what?" Georgiana asked carefully.
"Oh, I do not know for sure, but it seemed to me as if they enjoyed their little arguments deep down inside, like Benedick and Beatrice."
Georgiana giggled. "There certainly are similarities."
"There are too many similarities if you ask me."
"Caroline seems to believe he is a heartless rascal."
"And she wastes no chances in rubbing it in firmly, which has the opposite effect because it brings out the worst in him. He will only act more like the rascal she thinks he is, just to vex her. Quoting sonnets, I ask you! Now when did he memorise them, this afternoon? Georgiana, we shall sit still and watch this nonsense. It should be very amusing."
"We do not do anything?" Georgiana asked, a little disappointed.
"I do not know what yet, but we will think of something perhaps. Be quiet now, he is coming back."
The Colonel sat down again and the carriage drove off again to Darcy's house to take Georgiana home. Both ladies cursed the dark because they could not see his face, and both were wondering how they could bring up the subject.
Caroline felt a little depressed now that she was alone. It was a bit of an anti-climax to be home again after the theatre. She had not enjoyed herself so much in ages, despite the fact that Colonel Fitzwilliam got on her nerves now and then by putting his finger on it all the time. With a frown she remembered the sonnet, and she walked to the library to find out if Mr. Hurst had it. Somewhere in the middle of her search her sister and brother came home.
"Oh there you are, Caroline," Louisa said as she peeked into the library. "Have you not gone to bed yet?"
"No, I am looking for sonnets," she said absentmindedly.
"Sonnets? Whatever for?" Louisa did not understand.
"I can't find them. Do you know where they are?"
"Of course not."
Mr. Hurst, attracted by the sound of their voices, also showed up, and Caroline asked him if he had Shakespeare's sonnets. "I cannot remember ever having read them," he shrugged. "But they should be on this shelf," he said, pointing to a particular shelf.
Caroline started to scan the volumes on the shelf, "ah, yes," she said with satisfaction as she pulled one out. "Good night," and she quickly left the library, oblivious to the puzzled looks of the Hursts.
She was rather impatient when her maid helped her get ready for bed, curious to know what the rest of the lines of the sonnet were. She opened the book and was discouraged to see there were so many of them. How could she ever find the right one? But after looking through many pages, there it was, Shakespeare's Sonnet CXLII.
Love is my sin, and thy dear virtue hate,
Hate of my sin, grounded on sinful loving:
O! but with mine compare thou thine own state,
And thou shalt find it merits not reproving;
Or, if it do, not from those lips of thine,
That have profaned their scarlet ornaments
And seal'd false bonds of love as oft as mine,
Robb'd others' beds' revenues of their rents.
Be it lawful I love thee, as thou lovest those
Whom thine eyes woo as mine importune thee:
Root pity in thy heart, that, when it grows,
Thy pity may deserve to pitied be.
If thou dost seek to have what thou dost hide,
By self-example may'st thou be denied!
"Oh!" she exclaimed, more than a little shocked.
Part 26
Posted on Saturday, 1 August 1998
Caroline could not believe it. She was not really good at interpreting poetry, but certainly Colonel Fitzwilliam could not have recited this one because he agreed with the contents. It was impossible. She was not like the woman described, and neither was he completely like the man in the sonnet, only in the first lines. No, she was sure it could not be. He would only have recited it to annoy her, or maybe he did not even know what it said beyond the first two lines. She closed the book and blew out the candle, but it took a long time before she fell asleep.
The following day she spent with her sister, who had a hundred things to do to get ready for her trip. In the evening she took the carriage to collect Georgiana for their outing to the opera.
Georgiana was very excited, not only because she was looking forward to going to the opera, but also because Catherine had instructed her to find out exactly what Caroline thought of the day before, and especially what she thought of the Colonel.
"Thank you, Caroline. It is really nice of you to take me with you," Georgiana said shyly when they were seated at the opera.
"Do not credit me with too much kindness, Georgiana. It was not wholly unselfish of me. I would not have gone if you had not been so kind as to accompany me."
"Kind? Oh not at all, I enjoy coming with you," Georgiana exclaimed. "You make it sound as if you..."
Caroline laughed. "But it is true. I could not think of anyone else who would truly appreciate it. My friends," she said a bit sarcastically, "would distract my attention too much."
"So yesterday you did not appreciate my cousin talking to you so much during the play then?" Georgiana asked, seeing a good opportunity to bring him up.
At least he had something to say and I cannot say that applies to a lot of my friends. No, wait! He had nothing to say either. Caroline looked a little confused. "Uhh..." she said.
"Do not worry about speaking ill of him because he is one of my relatives! I wish he had waited until the play was over. He can be very annoying at times."
"Yes," Caroline said gratefully. "I am glad you think so too. He is completely irresponsible and untrustworthy, and very insulting."
Georgiana smirked. She could not help it. Never had she heard anyone describe her guardian and cousin thus. Most people found him charming and Georgiana loved him very much as a second older brother, because he was much less strict than William--though William was very much the ideal brother in her eyes.
During the break they went for a little walk and Georgiana was called by some acquaintances of hers. They immediately asked for news of her brother, and said as much pleasant things to Georgiana as possible. Caroline saw that Georgiana was very honoured by the attentions of the girls, who were very fashionable and a few years older than Georgiana herself. She also saw, having much experience with this kind of friendliness, that they were very insincere and would probably stop acknowledging Georgiana as a friend once her brother would get married to someone else. It was like looking at herself a few months back and she was deeply ashamed for herself. When one of the girls asked when Mr. Darcy would be next in town, Caroline could not resist saying snappily, "why, it seems as if you are more interested in Mr. Darcy than in Miss Darcy. If you will excuse us now..."
She and Georgiana continued their walk through the building. "I hope you do not particularly like those girls, Georgiana, since I could not help saying that."
"I hardly know them," Georgiana replied. "They know me better than I know them. I only know that they are the Miss Stantons."
"The Miss Stantons!" Caroline exclaimed. "Colonel Fitzwilliam's admirers."
"How do you know that?" Georgiana asked curiously.
"We met a Miss Payne yesterday who informed us that the Miss Stantons are both going to marry your cousin. She was quite put out because she would rather have had him all to herself than share him with such ugly girls."
Georgiana laughed, but she quickly wiped the laugh off her face as a gentleman approached with an angry look on his face.
"Those are my sisters you are talking about." He addressed Caroline.
"Really?" said Caroline icily. She did not like the look of him. He had an air of self-importance about him and he had absolutely no chin.
"Yes, and I do not like to hear people call them ugly, and you have offended them earlier too when you implied that they cared more for Mr. Darcy than his sister."
"What a good brother you are, to defend your sisters like that," she said mockingly.
The gentleman started to lose his temper. He had obviously expected her to apologise humbly. "What do you have to say to my accusation?"
"That you have put it very well. I could not have done it better myself."
"Are you not going to apologise?"
"Hmm," she mused. "What will an apology solve? Tell me. Oh, and who am I speaking to?"
"George Stanton," the gentleman said angrily. "An apology is in order. It is mere politeness to give one."
"But I am not polite, as you may have noticed. Besides, words cannot be forgotten once they have been spoken. Even if I apologise now--which I have absolutely no intention of doing--are you going to be less angry with me? I think not. You will merely be pleased with yourself for standing up for your sisters, and I shall not apologise for the sake of your vanity."
Mr. Stanton had nothing to say to that, and Caroline and Georgiana walked on. It did not take very long before they were approached by yet another gentleman. What luck do we have tonight, Caroline thought philosophically.
The man bowed and introduced himself to them as Mark Williams. "I could not help overhearing your conversation with Mr. Stanton and I wanted to tell you how impressed I am, Miss Bingley," he said with an admiring gaze.
"Do you know me?" she asked, very much surprised, because she was certain that she had never laid eyes upon the man before. He was about twenty years old, of average height, with brown hair and a pleasant, but nondescript face. No wonder I have not seen him before--he would hardly attract any attention and there are so many like him. He looks like a puppy.
"Who does not know you, Miss Bingley?" He sounded appalled at the thought of there being anyone who had not heard of her. "You are one of the...one of the..." he had some difficulties trying to find the right words.
Caroline waited patiently for him to finish his sentence. I am notorious, it seems.
"One of the most beautiful, accomplished, witty and sweet ladies in London," Mr. Williams turned beet-red.
"Thank you, Mr. Williams," she said graciously, suppressing the urge to laugh at his lovesick puppy look and his all too generous image of her.
Mr. Williams bowed again and they quickly departed. As soon as they reached their seats they burst out in giggles. "You have an admirer, Caroline!" Georgiana said with a wide grin.
"Really! He is far too young for me. I doubt if he is even twenty. He would suit you much better, in fact," Caroline laughed.
Part 27
Posted on Sunday, 2 August 1998
Earlier that day, Catherine had been trying to get something out of her brother. "You enjoyed yourself last night, did you not?" she asked while they were finishing breakfast.
"Do I detect a little disapproval there?" he asked with a grin.
"A little."
He put down his cup. "Why do all women disapprove of me so suddenly?"
"Are you speaking of Miss Bingley? She has a right to disapprove of you."
"A right she uses frequently and openly. Her opinion of me is not very high," he said, sounding a little strained.
Catherine gawked. "How could you expect it to be?"
"She disapproves of people who are enjoying themselves, but that is not all--she accused me of never knowing what I am talking about and only being capable of confusing people."
Good for you, Caroline. You must have hit a nerve, because he does not sound too pleased with your criticisms."Did you know which sonnet those lines you recited to her came from?" Somehow I do not think that you do.
"Yes, I know about six lines of it."
Six lines? Not the part about loving her? "Not all of it?"
"No."
"I do not know why you recited that one, but you might be glad for your ignorance, Richard. I took the trouble of looking it up."
He drank the rest of his cup. "I do not want to know what the rest of it says, and I certainly do not want to spend the last day of my leave talking about Miss Bingley." He got up and left the room.
Oh my, I have not seen him this irritated for a long time, and this must all be because of Caroline. Catherine smiled to herself as she started thinking of Much Ado About Nothing.
Catherine took Robert with her for a visit to Georgiana the day after. She was very curious what had happened at the theatre, and if Caroline had said anything. She was surprised to see both Caroline and another lady, who was introduced as Mrs. Hurst, Caroline's sister, there. This meant she could not talk about it directly, but she was not put out. It was even better that she could speak to Caroline herself.
Caroline eyed Robert warily. She did not know any young children but she had heard other people tell horrifying stories of what they could do. She did not want to have anything spilled all over her dress, although he looked harmless enough. Robert hid behind his mother most of the time, and only stepped forward quickly to give a small bow as a greeting. It looked very sweet, and the ladies were suitably impressed.
"Ahhh!" Georgiana cried. "Robert, you are a real gentleman. How did you get him to do that, Catherine? It is adorable!"
"I did not teach him that," Catherine said with surprise. "Who taught you that, darling?" Robert hid his face in her skirt and mumbled something. "Say that again?"
"Uncle Fitzwilliam," Robert said indistinctly. He was still a little shy, but very pleased with all the attention the ladies were giving him.
All ladies, and especially Caroline, were surprised, but she quickly dismissed the idea of the Colonel teaching his nephew good manners. It seemed much more likely to her that he had been teaching him how to charm ladies, with his considerable expertise in the field.
"Come and sit beside me," said Georgiana, and Robert ran over and climbed up beside her.
"How was your evening out, Georgiana?" Catherine asked.
"We enjoyed ourselves very much, did we not, Caroline?" Georgiana replied.
Caroline nodded, and Louisa interjected, "Caroline told me there was a gentleman who seemed to admire her. What was he like, Georgiana? For she will not tell me." Caroline sighed.
Georgiana smiled. "He was quite ordinary looking."
Catherine listened to this with great interest. Perhaps this could prove useful information. She hoped that Caroline was not interested in her admirer. Caroline certainly did not look very embarrassed by her sister's revelation.
"And may I add," Caroline said unperturbed, "that he is also still a schoolboy."
"How old was he then?" Louisa asked.
"Twenty?" Caroline guessed. "Is that not right, Georgiana?"
"I would say that too," Georgiana agreed.
"Someone of twenty is hardly still a schoolboy. Do you think twenty is too young?" Catherine asked. How about someone of thirty--would he be too old? You cannot be older than five and twenty.
"Certainly. I told Georgiana that his age would suit hers much better, but I do not think she was very impressed by him."
"No, not at all, but it was very amusing."
"How was it amusing?" Mrs. Annesley asked. Her job was to look after Georgiana and to make sure that she grew up to be a fine young lady who did not get into any mischief.
"Do no worry, Mrs. Annesley. Georgiana behaved herself very well, but we laughed because I could not take such a puppy look as Mr. Williams was giving me very seriously," Caroline declared coolly.
"Ah!" Louisa cried. "You know his name!"
"Louisa, I would appreciate it if you did not try to marry me off. I have no intention of ever getting married," she said slightly exasperated.
The married ladies in the room wisely said nothing, but they exchanged some meaningful looks.
Part 28
Posted on Saturday, 8 August 1998
Colonel Fitzwilliam had returned to his regiment, and after he had been briefed on everything that had occurred in his absence, he could relax in his lazy chair with a glass of brandy. Earlier, he had instructed his Sergeant to get him copies of 'Much Ado About Nothing' and Shakespeare's sonnets. Sergeant Francis obviously thought his Colonel was losing his marbles, and he gave him a worried look. "Are you sure you would not prefer 'De Belle Gallico', Colonel?" the Sergeant asked.
"Not tonight, Francis. So grab your chance and read it," Fitzwilliam said mischievously. He picked up 'Much Ado About Nothing'. He had seen remarkably little of the play, and though he knew he had read it as a boy, he could not be exactly sure of what it was about. All the ladies that had monopolised his attention during the play with their shallow chatter had prevented him from seeing more than parts of the first and the last act. The first act had been interesting enough, there was a man who did not want to marry. He had felt a strong kinship to this man until he saw the last act, where he had obviously given in to some woman. He was rather curious how the man had gotten himself into this unenviable scrape. Surely he must have been dragged into it by force: no man who was so sensible in the beginning of the play could be so stupid in the end.
He laughed out loud when he read the 'trick.' How unrealistic it was! Suppose anyone would tell me that Miss Bingley were madly in love with me; would I fall in love with her? He knew he would not. He did not question why he thought of Miss Bingley in this particular instance. If he had, he probably would have ascribed it to her physical likeness to the actress playing Beatrice.
After reading the play he picked up the book of sonnets. The first ones could have been his parents talking to him, so he skipped them quickly. Finally he saw the six line he knew, and he choked on his brandy when he read the rest of it. "No! Oh, no!" he groaned and moaned. "That is not what I meant." He buried his face in his hands.
It was just appropriate enough to be taken seriously. What if Miss Bingley had taken it to mean: do not criticise the fact that I seem to love so many, when you were so insincere in loving Darcy. I love you and do not deny me or you will be denied yourself?
"I must put her right. I do not love anyone." The latter was irrefutable. He would as likely question that as the fact that the sun rises in the east. "I must apologise. We cannot have Miss Bingley thinking the wrong thing on yet another matter, a matter even I cannot laugh at."
He walked to his desk and pulled out a sheet of writing paper. But how to start? "She questions everything I say and is likely not going to believe a word I write."
Please accept my sincerest apologies for the sonnet I quoted to you. It had no meaning. "If I write it had no meaning, she will think that it did."
Do not be offended by the sonnet. I did not mean anything by it. "And she will think I did mean to offend her. What if I write the exact opposite of what I want to say?" he frowned. "She will never believe that, and believe exactly what I want her to believe..."
My dear Miss Bingley, I hope you looked up that sonnet I quoted, and I sincerely hope you love me as much as I love you. He cringed and swore to himself he would never write such silly lines in earnest. A man had to be far gone to write things like this.
He wondered what Miss Bingley would do. That she would burn it seemed the most likely. She would be angry with him, but at least she would not think he meant it in earnest. He signed and folded the letter. Miss Bingley was certainly a pretty girl, but fortunately she was far too snobbish and vain and her beliefs were too ridiculous to put him in any danger, he told himself firmly.
After sealing the letter, Colonel Fitzwilliam got a change of heart and threw the letter into the fire. He could not send it. He looked at the sonnets again. After reading a few, he thought he could write a sonnet to Miss Bingley instead of a letter. She would be extremely vexed by a sonnet, he grinned to himself. Lines of ten syllables, well, it was not as difficult as that. He counted the syllables on his fingers. Once he got a few lines it was very easy to add to them.
No more sonnets shall I to you recite,
The last one was meaningless, I admit
You had found me out so perfectly right,
From now on I tease but a little bit.
Admirable as you are, Caroline,
I am not certain of your principle;
But mind, appearance and figure so fine,
And your tongue so quick and invincible,
You like to question my question my every word.
"You do not speak unless you are in jest,"
A better judge of me I seldom heard
But to tease and laugh is what I like best.
And so as not to aggravate you more,
I promise more seriousness than before.
He sealed it quickly, before he could change his mind again. He had taken the sting out of the other sonnet, praised her, vexed her by making a promise, and defended himself all in one go, but he deliberately left it vague if this one was to be taken seriously. He was not sure himself--it had turned out a little more serious than he intended.
Part 29
Posted on Tuesday, 11 August 1998
Caroline took over Louisa's role as mistress of the house now that Louisa and Hurst would be gone for several months, and secretly she was pleased because she enjoyed having something to do. Louisa asked her opinion a lot of times, but it was still different because she and Mr. Hurst had the final say. Caroline was never more than an advisor, and like everyone, it annoyed her a great deal when her good advice was not listened to, and she knew her advise was always a lot better than what Louisa and Hurst came up with.
There had been several things that had been vexing her for ages, one of them being the arrangement of the furniture in the drawing room and the hall, indeed in every room. She felt she could not possibly live with the current placing of tables, chairs and cabinets for so long if she was to be the only inhabitant of this house, so she set out to rearrange it all. She moved the lighter objects by herself, and only called in the help of a servant if there was something heavy to be moved. She did not really consider what her sister might think of it, she knew she would be able to convince her that this was the best, or if that would not work, Louisa could always move everything back to its old position.
After pushing and shoving an oak table across the library--there was no servant available and it had to be done right now--she sat resting in what had become her favourite chair when the mail was delivered.
She was very surprised to see a letter from Colonel Fitzwilliam and she opened it immediately, justifying this by telling herself that she could guess what was in her other mail so it was not interesting to open that.
She began to read.
No more sonnets shall I to you recite,
The last one was meaningless, I admit
You had found me out so perfectly right,
From now on I tease but a little bit.
She read the first lines with approval.Could it be he is getting sensible? she wondered.
Admirable as you are, Caroline,
I am not certain of your principle;
"What?" she cried. "What is wrong with my principles? How dare you? What about your own principles?" Caroline was quite angry.
But mind, appearance and figure so fine,
And your tongue so quick and invincible,
"Oh do not try to flatter me, it will not work. First you insult me, and now you are trying to make it up? Do you think I am stupid? You probably do not even mean it!"
You like to question my question my every word.
"You do not speak unless you are in jest,"
A better judge of me I seldom heard
But to tease and laugh is what I like best.
And so as not to aggravate you more,
I promise more seriousness than before.
"You untrustworthy rogue! You cannot seriously believe this yourself. You take delight in vexing me, and this is only one more example of it. You promise, I do not want to be promised anything, and certainly not by you!" She folded the letter angrily, and stuck it in a book that was lying on the table so it was out of sight. "And look what you are making me do! I am talking to myself again."
She opened a letter from Charles and read that he had gotten engaged to Jane Bennet. "Men!" she shouted in annoyance, and she threw down the letter. Caroline liked Jane, honestly, but she would so much have wanted to see Charles marry really well and Jane did not have any money at all. The letter did not say anything about Darcy, but with resignation she thought that it would only be a matter of time before she got word of his engagement as well.
Caroline felt she needed to go for a walk, to anywhere, to get away from here and think about the consequences of Charles' engagement. It affected her as well, for where was she going to live when he was married?
Part 30
Posted on Thursday, 13 August 1998
Caroline walked down the street to the nearby park and started walking along the paths. She would have to live with Louisa of course, after Charles was married. After all, Charles would settle at Netherfield and she did not think she could take the society there. If he were married to Jane, Mrs. Bennet would probably spend more time at Netherfield than in Longbourn. It would be like living in a house with Mrs. Bennet. Mrs. Bennet at Netherfield every day of the week, with only me to entertain her, for Charles will probably only have eyes for Jane, oh no, this is the worst nightmare I can imagine! Perhaps she will even bring those other daughters of hers, I cannot remember their names, but I do recall one played the pianoforte quite awfully. I would die, I would die of boredom and irritation. There is not one person worth getting acquainted with in the whole neighbourhood, if there was, I would have noticed it when we were there. I had much rather stay in London--there are far more people I know and like here.
Somehow her thoughts drifted to people she knew in London, and from there to Georgiana and their nights out, and inevitably to Colonel Fitzwilliam. She frowned. It had been very improper of him to say the least to send her a letter, but she assumed he did not care much for propriety where ladies were concerned.
Caroline walked a few rounds through the park until she felt calmer and then she returned home to find three young ladies waiting for her. They were the Miss Taylors, and they called on eachother frequently. She always had a bit of trouble distinguishing between the two youngest, but then she remembered that Nicole had dark brown hair, and Rachel lighter brown.
"Caroline, where have you been?" cried Rachel Taylor. "We were just about to leave again."
"We waited for at least ten minutes," her elder sister Felicia added.
"No, we did not," the youngest and smallest, Nicole, contradicted. "Five minutes at the very most."
They started quarrelling about how long they had been waiting, and it only ended after the servant had brought them all some tea.
"We have been away to the country," Felicia began, "and we returned yesterday. Now we are visiting everyone to catch up on all the latest gossip, for everyone who promised to write, forgot to do so!"
"I am sorry..." Caroline began.
"No, no, do not be. We never write ourselves, we understand perfectly, but it is still very annoying that we do not know anything of what is going on in Town."
"We do know now!" said Rachel with a sly grin that looked very untrustworthy to Caroline.
Nicole raised her eyebrows expressively. "Everybody was talking about you, Caroline."
"Oh," said Caroline weakly, suspecting that it was not the way she would like to be talked about. "What did they say?"
"I went to see Georgiana," said Nicole, who had been at school with her. "And she told me some very interesting things about a Mr. Williams!"
"I hope Georgiana and Mr. Williams will be very happy together," Caroline tried.
"But it is you he admires!" Felicia said. "We heard it all over town, and people were rather surprised about it, because--" she stopped, a little embarrassed.
"Why?" Caroline asked curiously.
"Because either you ignore gentlemen or you bite their heads off!" Rachel said impertinently.
Caroline was silent. She supposed it was true. She did do that. "I will ignore him too, and then he will get over it, or perhaps I should bite his head off straight away."
Nicole looked shocked. "But you are already old! Are you not worried about dying an old maid?" She fervently hoped to be married by the time she reached Caroline's age.
Am I really that old? Caroline gave her an annoyed look. "I am sure you would like to marry someone who is now ten or twelve."
"No!" Nicole exclaimed.
"Well then, do not tell me to do it."
"Well, sisters, it is time to go, we have more people to visit," Felicia said briskly. "May I borrow that one book of yours, if you finished it?"
"I finished it. It is in the library," Caroline answered.
They all walked past the library to retrieve the book, and then the Miss Taylors departed.
"She does not seem interested in Mr. Williams," Rachel said with disappointment. "That is too bad, for I enjoy making matches so much, but I fear Caroline is very difficult in that aspect."
Felicia was studying the book. A letter fell out as she opened it. Nicole retrieved it from the floor. "Look, this fell out. I wonder who it is from." She turned the letter around in her hands.
"Do not read it, Nicole," Felicia said at the same time as Rachel said, "Read it, Nicole."
"Colonel Fitzwilliam!" Nicole said, with awe in her voice, when she read the sender's name.
"Oh!" said the other two, equally impressed. All three of them liked the Colonel a lot.
"Do we...?" Nicole asked pleadingly.
"No," said Felicia, the eldest.
"I want to know if we can make a match here. Read it, Nicole," Rachel pressed. "After all, you said yourself that she was going to die an old maid. Do you not want to help her just a little to prevent that?" She grinned. "And I want to read it because he wrote it, naturally."
Felicia was very curious as well, so she nodded. "Let me read it."
After a heated discussion on who had the biggest right to reading the letter, it was decided that Felicia would read it out loud, and then she would pass it to Rachel, who in turn would pass it to Nicole.
Part 31
Posted on Sunday, 16 August 1998
"Oh!" the second Miss Taylor cried. "He must be in love with her. Why else would he write such a thing? Look at all that praise of her figure and mind and appearance! He even praises her cattiness, and only a fool blinded by love could do that."
"Do you think so?" her younger sister asked. "Georgiana is his cousin and she would have told me!"
"Why would she tell you? You are practically a stranger!" Felicia said. "Would you tell Georgiana if your cousin was in love with someone?"
"Yes, I would," Nicole stuck out her tongue. "Do we return the letter?"
"We cannot do that," Felicia pointed out, "without Caroline suspecting that we read it. I think it would be best if we left it in the book, instead of returning it with a big grin on our faces."
"Are we going to reply to the Colonel in Caroline's name?" Rachel asked.
Her sisters looked stunned at the suggestion. Eventually Felicia said, "Rachel! That would be so improper, to write to a gentleman. You must be out of your mind to suggest such a thing. Who are we to interfere and how do you know she has not already replied?"
"Because it would be an improper thing to do to write to a gentleman, you just said so."
"Excuse me," Nicole piped up. "Caroline did not mention him at all to us. What makes you think she is interested in him?"
"An omission is as good as an admission," Rachel said wisely.
"I say no. We cannot," Felicia insisted.
"We must talk to Georgiana first to find out more. She knows both of them better than we do."
"Right now?" Nicole cried.
"Why not?" Rachel shrugged. "Say yes, Felicia."
Felicia doubted. It would be a bad thing to do, but it would also be the only way to shut her sisters up. "Yes," she said eventually. "Let us go and see Georgiana and listen what she says."
Georgiana was always glad to be visited by friends,even if she had already seen one of them the day before. There were but a few girls her age that Mrs. Annesley thought suitable friends for her charge, many were too wild, so she did not encourage Georgiana to go out very much. She had never objected to the Miss Taylors however. Only Nicole was her age, but since they always went everywhere together, she was well acquainted with her sisters too.
The four girls huddled together in a corner of the drawing room as Georgiana was shown the letter. She gasped at almost every line. Trying not to attract Mrs. Annesley's attention by laughing too hard, she shook her head when she had finished it.
The impatient Nicole could not control her curiosity any longer. "Well, what do you say? Is your cousin in love with her or not?"
"In love with her? I am not certain," Georgiana said. "But do you think he is?"
"Why else would he write such a thing?" Rachel asked.
"He likes to tease."
"Subconsciously..." Rachel began.
"You know them better than we do," Felicia cut in. "Is it at all possible that he loves her? Or that she loves him?"
"I would have to find out what she thinks of him now, after this letter. She found him very vexing before," Georgiana said. "And as for my cousin, I could not say if he likes to tease her because she is quick to bite, or because of something else."
"Rachel said we should write a reply." That was Nicole. "An ardent love letter," she said dreamily.
"And Felicia said we should not," Felicia added. "I think it will get out of hand if Rachel and Nicole start interfering. Their imagination is too wild to handle such things delicately." Her two younger sisters pouted. "Georgiana, I shall copy the letter for you right now--for Caroline will surely panic once she finds out I have it, and then she will want it back, I expect--and then you can decide if anything needs to be done. But, you must keep us informed."
"I will, I promise," Georgiana giggled. "Only I am not sure what to do. I think I need to confer with my cousin Catherine."
Caroline wanted to read the letter again, but she could not find it. She frowned as she tried to remember where she put it. I read it, and then...then I put it away, but where? There is nothing here to put it in. Wait! The book I lent to Felicia. Oh no! I hope she does not read it. What will she think? Caroline's face grew hot when she thought of what Felicia and her sisters might do to the letter. She needed to get that letter back before they found it, and she would not have any rest until she had it safely home, because she did not trust them one inch.
The Taylors did not live far away, and Caroline reckoned the carriage could take her there and back just before dinner. She was lucky to find only Felicia in the drawing room.
"I think I left a letter in that book I lent you," Caroline said calmly. "May I take a look to see if it is there?" This was an odd request, and she knew it.
Luckily Felicia did not seem surprised at all, merely a little amused, and she fetched the book for her right away. "Here it is," she said.
Caroline leafed through it and found the letter. She felt relieved. It did not appear that the Taylors had found it. "Thank you, and enjoy the book."
"Thank you, I will," Felicia replied.
In the carriage back home, Caroline read Colonel Fitzwilliam's letter again. It made her less angry now. Perhaps he did not mean it the way it came across. I could have interpreted it the wrong way. Perhaps this is his version of an apology,she thought doubtfully. She sighed contentedly, convinced that she had just saved herself from a disaster, but little did she know that the damage had already been done...
Part 32
Posted on Tuesday, 18 August 1998
Georgiana studied the note carefully again. She was not quite sure what conclusion she should draw, but she was glad that she was going to dine with Catherine that evening; Catherine would know if it meant that her brother liked Caroline. Georgiana still could not quite believe in this particularly unlikely combination, but she was less disbelieving than she would have been, should someone have suggested it a few weeks ago. Since they were so well-matched verbally, Georgiana thought it was worth a try to get them together. The day could not pass quick enough for her as she waited for the evening.
Mrs. Annesley was to dine with a friend and Georgiana had been picked up by Catherine's carriage. She could hardly conceal her enthusiasm when she greeted her cousin.
"What is the matter? You look so excited."
"Catherine!" Georgiana made a snorting sound.
"Yes?"
"Read this!" And she thrusted the copy of the letter at her.
"Georgiana, what is this?" Catherine raised her eyebrows as she read a few lines.
"It is a copy of a letter Caroline received."
"It is from Richard. How did you come by it?"
Georgiana explained how her friends had found it in a book and how they had handed it to her because she knew Caroline and Colonel Fitzwilliam better. "They were convinced that he is in love with Caroline," she said hesitantly, gauging her cousin's reaction.
"Well..." Catherine sighed and frowned. "They could be right," she said as she read it again, "but he has not realised it yet, if he really is."
"Can we not..." Georgiana began.
Catherine gave her young cousin an appreciative glance. She nodded slowly. "I see what you mean. Can we not make him realise it? I think we can because he seems very interested already. Of course I would not know if this is his usual modus operandi where there is a woman involved, but I should not think so. I had credited my brother with a little more propriety. He might recite poems to some, but it is all relatively innocent, and it would certainly not go as far is this. I think I am to blame for this letter, indirectly."
"How?" Georgiana cried.
"I asked him if he was aware of the complete sonnet. I looked it up and I guessed he was not. He must have looked it up himself after I asked him, and he must have been a little shocked to find out that it was really about love. And how about Caroline? How does she feel?"
"She does not want to feel anything, I think. She thinks he is terribly annoying."
"At least that means she is not indifferent to him," Catherine said with satisfaction. "I think this will be very entertaining. What did your friends have in mind?"
"They wanted to write him an ardent love letter in Caroline's name."
Catherine laughed. "As if he would believe that! No, no, we must handle this very carefully. We must make them fall in love with each other, but they must not suspect our hand in it. We cannot go about telling them that the other person loves them. I do not think it would work. Can you imagine what would happen if we told Caroline that Richard was in love with her before she had any feelings for him? She would not take it seriously at all, she would probably think she was one of his many flavours of the week and she would dislike him for it. But if we told Richard...now that might work better, if only we could be sure of her feelings. We ought to find out what Caroline thinks of this letter. It is too bad that your friends have it, so she cannot read it again."
"Felicia thought Caroline might come after it, though, that is why she made a copy of it."
"Shall we visit Miss Bingley tomorrow then?"
"Yes, I am looking forward to that," Georgiana replied with a mischievous smile.
Part 33
Posted on Thursday, 20 August 1998
When Georgiana came home she found her brother there. He had been away all day; she did not know what he had been doing. He smiled at her. "Did you have a nice dinner with Catherine?"
"Yes, very. I wish you would not have so much business to take care of all of the time! I have not seen very much of you all these days you have been in London. Is something wrong?" Georgiana had asked him before why he had suddenly left Hertfordshire but she had not received a satisfying reply. He had seemed to tense up a little.
"No, it was only some business I had to take care of," Darcy said vaguely. "Bingley is engaged," he held out a letter.
"Oh!" Georgiana cried as she read it. "I am so pleased for him. He sounds very happy." She dared not ask her brother when he was getting engaged.
"Yes, he sounds very happy," he said a little wistfully.
"When are you going to return to Hertfordshire, William?"
"I do not know. When I have finished my business in town," he replied. He was not sure if his presence was really desired in Hertfordshire. Bingley would only have eyes for Jane, and Elizabeth, he dared not think of what she could think of him. "What are you going to do tomorrow?"
"Catherine and I are going to visit Miss Bingley tomorrow morning."
"I am very sorry that I shall not be able to join you," he said with a slight hint of sarcasm.
"I am glad." You would only spoil our plans.
"I received a letter from our Aunt," Catherine said to Georgiana the next morning. Lady Catherine De Bourgh frequently wrote to the niece who was named after her.
"What does she write?"
"She writes to express her disgust with the rumours of your brother's engagement to a Miss Bennet and that she has the intention to go up to Hertfordshire to find out if it is true and to warn off Miss Bennet if she indeed has any designs on Darcy."
"But he is not engaged!" Georgiana exclaimed. "Only Bingley is engaged to a Miss Bennet."
"Is he now? It is all highly amusing," Catherine said. "Lady Catherine must be the only person in our family who really thinks Darcy will marry Anne."
"He does not love Anne. I know he loves Miss Bennet, even if he has never admitted it."
Catherine sighed. "I wonder what is wrong with our male relatives! It takes them very long to realise where their hearts lie, and they cannot even do it by themselves. It can all be done much faster; it did not take Philip so very long to make me an offer. Of course he did not have to take the Lady Catherine hurdle, coming as he does from a respectable family. I hope our aunt will not set her sights on Richard for Anne now. I like Anne because she is my cousin, but..."
"Yes," Georgiana agreed.
"So, Georgiana, we must get to work!" She winked at her young cousin as the carriage pulled up in front of the house in Grosvenor Street.
A servant showed them into the drawing room and Georgiana looked around her in amazement. "It has been rearranged completely," she exclaimed.
"Yes, it has," said Caroline, who stepped into the room. "I was not pleased with it at all." They all sat down, and Caroline called for some refreshments. "Do you like the new arrangement, Georgiana?"
"Yes, I do."
"Really?" Caroline asked a little sarcastically. "Perhaps I should have phrased that differently as politeness dictates that there is only one possible answer to that question."
"No, no, I really do," Georgiana blushed earnestly.
"May I offer my congratulations on your brother's engagement?" Catherine said.
Caroline looked surprised at her knowledge and Georgiana hastened to explain her about Bingley's letter to Darcy. Catherine studied her carefully, but Caroline remained perfectly composed at the mention of Darcy.
"It was a very happy letter," Georgiana ventured. "And he made Miss Bennet sound like an angel." She wanted to know Caroline's feelings on the match.
"She is very nice," Caroline conceded. "And if he feels she will make him a good wife, who am I to stand in their way?"
"He loves her, obviously," said Catherine.
Caroline looked as if she did not quite understand what Catherine was saying. "He has loved girls before. How long will it last?"
"This must be true love," Catherine sighed. "Have you never been loved by anyone?" She was aware that she was heading into perilous territory here. "Did you never receive any love letters? Anonymous poems? Philip sends me poems very often, although he does sign his name to them and he copies them from a book, but I know he thinks of me and loves me when he is away. I say, Georgiana," she said laughingly, giving Caroline the chance to think it over, "do you think Anne ever received any?"
Georgiana laughed. "She does not meet any men!"
Caroline's mind worked furiously. She had received a letter, actually, although to call it a love letter would be taking it much too far, and she was very sure that it had not been written with that intention, but did it mean that Colonel Fitzwilliam thought of her? She chided herself for asking such a stupid question. Of course he had thought of her, on the occasion he wrote the letter. Probably never afterwards, though. But why would he think of me in the first place? And could they possibly know I received a letter? It is such a coincidence that they mention it today, the day after I received it. But she dismissed the thought, because Catherine and Georgiana did not seem interested in hearing a reply. They were still laughing over possible suitors for Anne, and Caroline tried to pay attention, but it was very hard. Her mind kept wandering back to the letter. If a letter means to let women know they think of them and love them, as Catherine says, then why did he write me one? He does not love me--he likes to annoy me, doesn't he? It was a very disconcerting thought to think that it might be otherwise.
When Catherine and Georgiana had left, their smug smiles going wholly unnoticed by the distracted Caroline, she ran up to her room and retrieved Colonel Fitzwilliam's letter to read it once again. She almost knew it by heart already, but she wanted to see the words. It had never really occurred to her to interpret it as an expression of his admiration, but now she read it again, she saw it could easily be interpreted as such. In fact, it could easily be interpreted as anything. He could have meant to criticise her, to praise her, to apologise for his own behaviour, to tease her, to tell her he would stop teasing her...
"What does he mean?" she cried in vexation. She wanted to know.
'Admirable as you are, Caroline.' Does he admire me? Or does he mean the opposite, that he hates me? She frowned. Did I do anything to make him hate me? I do not think I did. I know I look well, or better than most, at least. He could not find fault with me for that, I am sure, and I have twenty thousand pounds. 'I am not certain of your principle.' What principle? I have good morals and a good character, do I not? People say my tongue is too sharp, but that could not be it: he mentions that in the line after the next. What bad principles do I have then? He obviously disapproves of something.
Part 34
Posted on Sunday, 23 August 1998
Over the next few days Caroline came obsessed with the sonnet. She could have recited it backwards, if necessary. Caroline did not understand herself. It was as if a voice within her commented on on all her actions and thoughts. She knew she was being a fool--he was a Colonel, he had no money, he was a rogue; why was he on her mind a little more every day? But she admitted that it was an agreeable way to spend the day. Everywhere she went she secretly hoped to see him, though she knew that is was virtually impossible. She told herself that as long as she had a firm grip on reality, it was alright for her to imagine that she would meet Colonel Fitzwilliam whenever she went shopping, and that she would tell him she was really sorry that he did not approve of her principles, but that that really was no concern of hers and that she certainly would not change for some man, and what about himself? And then after her speech he would always smile, sometimes he would say something amusing, but frequently he would say she was, of course, right.
She had written to Charles, and to Jane, to congratulate them and wish them joy. She really tried to feel happy for them and rejoice in the match, but could not. As a result, her felicitations were indeed most affectionate, but probably not very sincere. She genuinely liked them both, but she could not look upon it as a favourable match. Catherine and Georgiana had seemed to approve of it, though. They had said it must be love, but Caroline did not see how Charles could love anyone without money or standing. Were they not more important than passing infatuations and horrendous connections? Undoubtedly she would have to endure the Bennets and the rest of Meryton at their wedding. How fortunate that it was a unique occasion.
Life in London went on normally. Her one-time great friend Annabella, whom she had been seeing less and less, invited her to her wedding. It seemed she had finally schemed her way into the Duke's affections. "Weddings seem to be quite the fashion, lately," Caroline said sarcastically, while she observed the bride and groom during the wedding breakfast. She did not doubt that had a Prince come along, Annabella would have gone after the Prince, because before the Duke, the object of her attentions had been a Viscount. Now that she had become aware of her friend's deficiencies, she labelled the Duke a fool, for falling for Annabella. Annabella was so transparent, she thought. A comparison flashed through her mind, and she put her cup down with a shaking hand. Deeply mortified she remembered that she had not been any better than Annabella in chasing Darcy, and she dared not think of how many people had called her transparent. She looked around if anyone had noticed her discomfort, but everyone seemed to be talking merrily. Suddenly she felt a little headache coming on.
Later, she saw Felicia, whom she had had not seen before in the crowd of guests. "Caroline!" Felicia greeted her with a smile.
"Felicia, how are you?"
"I am alright, but you look a little pale and not as if you are enjoying yourself!"
"I have a slight headache," Caroline confessed.
"Do weddings not make you happy?"
"Not quite."
"Perhaps it is time for your own wedding!"
"Oh, please," Caroline rolled her eyes, "do you want to make my headache worse?"
"That must be very disappointing for that gentleman who admires you," Felicia said.
"Which gentleman?" Caroline said quickly.
"I cannot reveal his name," Felicia said with wide eyes. "It was only a rumour."
"Tell me."
Felicia did her best not to show her amusement at Caroline's reactions. "Mr. Williams, of course." She bit her lip as Caroline's face fell. Obviously her friend was disappointed that it was not someone else.
"Oh." She recovered soon enough and shrugged. "I am not interested in him."
"Would you have liked it to be someone else?"
"No, of course not. I am not interested in anyone. And you? Who are you interested in?"
Felicia was but a little disappointed that she had not been able to discover who Caroline liked--she was fairly certain of his identity and she had quite enough to pass on to Georgiana.
Georgiana received Felicia's note and smiled.
Dear Georgiana,Caroline did come to recollect the letter, like I predicted she would. I do not think she knows we read it. I saw her at a wedding today, and I said she had an admirer. She was very interested in hearing who her admirer was, and she seemed very disappointed when I said it was Mr. Williams! She claimed she was not interested in him or anyone else, and if you had been present I would have given you a very big wink!
Your friend,
Felicia Taylor
She had also received a letter by express from Darcy, saying that he was engaged to Miss Bennet. It had made her very happy, for she liked Miss Bennet very much and she would love to have her as a sister, and she knew Elizabeth would make William happy. She looked forward to their wedding and most of all, to living at Pemberley with them.
Some days ago, Lady Catherine De Bourgh had visited her brother. Georgiana had stayed well out of her way, because her Ladyship had looked on the verge of exploding. William had looked very relieved after she left, though she had obviously been very angry, and he had even gone so far as to confide in Georgiana about the nature of their aunt's visit. He had said he hoped this meant that Miss Bennet had a favourable opinion of him, but he dared not hope too much. Georgiana hoped it too for his sake, and she hoped he would return to Hertfordshire to find out, and perhaps propose to her. She did not know why it took him so long to gather courage, but she suspected he was awaiting advice from more people, her cousin maybe. When he had finally gone, she had wished him luck, though she could not imagine why Miss Bennet would not accept her brother, excellent as he was.
Her cousin Catherine and her family were going to stay with her aunt and uncle, and they invited her to come with them until she was to go down to Hertfordshire for the wedding. Georgiana accepted thankfully--she was getting rather bored in London.
Charles had decided he was staying at Netherfield until the day of the wedding, so Caroline also went over, to have some company at least. Not that it was very satisfying: both Charles and Darcy spent most of their time with their fiancées at Longbourn, when they were at Netherfield alone or when the girls came to Netherfield, they were hardly in the mood to give much consequence to Caroline. She was growing more and more certain that she did not want to live with Charles and Jane after they were married. They were completely engrossed in one another, how dull that would be! She much preferred her sister's marriage, at least Louisa saw her when she was in the same room with them.
"Charles," she said one day, "have you considered me?" She was sure he had not.
And he had not. "You, Caroline? What do you mean?"
"I have no intention of living with you when you are married."
"Oh, why not?"
"Because it would be dreadfully dull."
"Dull!" Charles cried. "I suppose you prefer to live with Louisa then, and do you mean to say Hurst is not dull? All he ever does is sleep!"
"At least I will have Louisa!" Caroline snapped. "And here I will have no one."
Darcy, who had witnessed his friend's total oblivion to the world when his dear Jane was present, smirked. He wondered about Georgiana, briefly, because she was to live at Pemberley with them, but then he told himself that he was not as bad as Bingley, and Georgiana was not as bad as Caroline.
Part 35
Posted on Monday, 24 August 1998
The day of the wedding approached rapidly, and Caroline wondered if she was the only one who was able to stay cool about it all. The whole neighbourhood seemed in raptures, and they were continually visited by people she did not want to see. Caroline saw only one option: fleeing. As she walked somewhere in the vicinity of Netherfield, she remarked to herself that she must have walked more in a few weeks than Eliza Bennet had in her whole life. She had been very tired at first, but now she had gotten used to it, and she could walk very far. The weather was dry, so she did not get dirty either.
She was on a small hill from where she could see the house when she saw a carriage pull up in front. She squinted and tried to make out who had just arrived. It was still quite far, but she thought it was Georgiana and Colonel Fitzwilliam. The others are all gone, I must greet them. She hurried down the slope; it was very hard to descend slowly.
Georgiana and Colonel Fitzwilliam had been informed that the gentlemen were paying a visit to Longbourn, and that Miss Bingley was walking the grounds. Neither of them had ever been to Netherfield so they sat in the drawing room rather uncomfortably, waiting for any of the residents to make an appearance.
"Georgiana," her cousin said after five minutes. "This is taking rather long. I feel I am in need of some exercise after sitting in that carriage for such a long time. Shall we walk out?" Georgiana agreed and they walked out into the gardens.
"Do you think she is walking here somewhere?" Georgiana asked.
At that moment, they turned a corner and almost crashed into Caroline who approached them at a rather swift pace from the opposite direction. She looked startled. The Colonel thought she probably would scream in agony at seeing her face in a mirror, because it was quite flushed from the exercise, but very pretty, he conceded. He could not help looking amused.
"I am sorry," Caroline said after they had exchanged greetings. "I had not known you would be so early." They started walking back to the house. She felt a little embarrassed that they had caught her walking so quickly. She was sure she looked awful, she pressed her hand to her cheek and it felt very hot. She winced. I suppose I am all red now, and I must look horrible.
Colonel Fitzwilliam's mouth twisted.
"What is it you find so diverting? Please share it with us," Caroline said cattily, certain that he was laughing at the horrible picture she made.
"It was nothing of importance," he assured her.
"Nothing is ever of importance with you. That ought not to surprise me."
He let that pass and continued on to something else. "I did not know you were such a great walker, Miss Bingley."
"The way I see it, you still do not know."
"That was not quite the answer I was hoping for."
"I know it was not, and that is why I gave it. You hoped that I would admit or deny it, but I shall not provide too many opportunities for you to laugh at me."
"That is very wise, and I dare say that such a wise young lady as yourself will succeed," he said seriously, but his eyes twinkled, because her attempts at preventing him from laughing at her produced the exact opposite effect.
Caroline realised that he was pulling her leg again, and she realised that she did not mind at all, for some reason. She was glad they had come to provide some amusement, so she did not reply to him but started talking to Georgiana instead. "How was your journey?"
"Oh, it was very good."
"I am glad you have come," she said. "I was beginning to feel rather bored."
"Why is that?" Georgiana exclaimed.
"As you see, I am quite alone during the day."
"Where is William then?"
"They usually leave for Longbourn at daybreak," Caroline said a little disapprovingly as they entered the house again. "And they do not return until well after sunset."
"At daybreak?" the Colonel asked with obvious disbelief.
She frowned at him. "You know what I mean."
"I apologise, I had forgotten my little salt container."
"I beg your pardon?" Caroline had no idea what he was talking about.
"Do you not know I usually take your words with a grain of salt, Miss Bingley?" he grinned disarmingly.
Caroline looked stunned. She knew she tended to exaggerate now and then, but to actually say it was rather insulting. He must have a very low opinion of me, she thought sadly. And why do I care if he does?
"So," he continued when they were all seated and refreshments were on their way, "your brothers spend all day with their fiancées. That is very unkind of them, Miss Bingley."
"In what way?"
"To leave you here all by yourself, of course! Had you not rather accompanied them?"
"Oh, please!" She rolled her eyes dramatically. "Nothing will induce me to go there."
"Not even the wedding breakfast? Are you going to stay here, all alone?"
She sighed impatiently. "No, of course not, but then I am forced to go. I would not go there out of my own free will."
"I cannot wait to see it with my own eyes," he said.
"You will love it," she said sarcastically.
Part 36
Posted on Tuesday, 25 August 1998
"Elizabeth would like to see you, I am sure," Darcy said to his cousin. "Perhaps you would like to accompany us tomorrow?"
"It would be nice to see Miss Bennet again, and to actually meet Bingley's fiancée before the wedding, but all day?" he asked. "I am not sure I could spend a whole day in the company of lovers."
"Who said all day?"
"I have been told you always leave at daybreak and stay away until sunset."
"We do have breakfast there occasionally," Bingley admitted guiltily. "But you do not have to come all day, you know. Caroline joined us one day, and she left fairly quickly, I think, because she could not endure the company either. I did not see her leave, did you Darcy?"
"Uhh, no," Darcy looked even more guilty.
"What happened?" the Colonel asked, intrigued.
Bingley continued. "Well, we came home and saw Caroline here and then we remembered she had come with us, so I asked how she got here, and she was quite angry that we forgot about her. She has refused to come along since then."
Fitzwilliam laughed. "I can well imagine it."
It had been decided that the whole Netherfield party would pay a visit to Longbourn the next day. Caroline had looked none too pleased, but since the prospect of spending yet another day all by herself was not very attractive, she grumblingly agreed to the scheme.
They arrived there shortly after breakfast, the ladies in the carriage and the gentlemen on horseback, and Mrs. Bennet was overjoyed at seeing another gentleman in the party. She immediately seated herself next to Colonel Fitzwilliam and began asking hundreds of questions about his regiment, his parentage, and Pemberley. He answered them all politely. He found Mrs. Bennet and her sister rather amusing with their silliness, but realised that he was not marrying into the family, nor did he have a brother who was. He fully understood Miss Bingley's objections--she had only been exaggerating a little bit when she had spoken of Mrs. Bennet.
Caroline had just been abandoned by her brother and his fiancée, who had left the room, and now she sat listening to Mrs. Bennet with an bored face. Darcy, Georgiana and Elizabeth had disappeared as well, so there was nothing else she could do, for Kitty, who sat next to her, was much too afraid to address her.
"Kitty," said Mrs. Bennet, obviously thinking this was an excellent move, "why do you not show Colonel Fitzwilliam around the park?"
"Mama," whined Kitty, who was a lot less daring without Lydia, and who was rather afraid to say anything to him.
"Kitty, do as I say!" Mrs. Bennet gave her daughter some meaningful looks.
"Kitty, Miss Bingley and I would be delighted if you could show us the park," Colonel Fitzwilliam smiled the smile that worked best with ladies of all ages.
"Oh," said Mrs. Bennet as if it had not occurred to her, "does Miss Bingley mean to go too? Well, she can go if she wishes, I suppose."
"I am sure she will not want to be deprived of the beauty of Longbourn's park," he smiled again, both at Mrs. Bennet and Caroline, who rolled her eyes at his smile.
The three of them went out into the hall and Kitty decided she needed to fetch her shawl from upstairs before going out, so they had to wait for her. "Save your dazzling smiles for those silly women, they do not work on me," she hissed. "I will not faint in breathless admiration whenever I see a red coat."
Mr. Bennet was just about to step out of the library but he checked himself. He did not want to get involved in any domestic quarrels, he preferred to watch--or listen--from a distance, and besides, if he stepped out now he would have to introduce himself and talk to them and he did not really want to at this particular moment. He took a quick peek and saw that it was Bingley's sister and an unknown gentleman, surprisingly. He never knew the woman had any sense.
Colonel Fitzwilliam was spared a reply by Kitty's return. She bounced down the stairs rather noisily, which caused Mrs. Bennet to appear and complain about her nerves. Kitty was very quick to get outdoors to escape her mother.
He offered his companions both an arm, and they walked off. Caroline had lied earlier, his dazzling smiles did work on her, and she was confused, because she feared that it was not impossible that she would actually faint in breathless admiration when he would dress in his regimentals. It annoyed her that she could be so silly.
For some time they walked the grounds, Kitty and the Colonel making conversation, and Caroline being quiet. She was a little disappointed when they returned to the house. As soon as Kitty was a little out of the way, he said in a low voice, "If I did not know you better, I would think you were exceedingly dull. You hardly spoke two words today, but perhaps I should be satisfied with the way you look?"
"The way I look?" Caroline was alarmed. Do I have any leaves or twigs in my hair?
He chuckled. "Obviously no one ever told you, or you would be running around the countryside all day."
"What?" She was getting vexed again.
"I cannot tell you. You would think me a rogue."
"You are a rogue if you tell me I look like something dreadful and then refuse to tell me what it is," she snapped.
"Who said you look dreadful? Your London acquaintances might not approve of rosy cheeks, but perhaps they never saw you after a walk." He smiled and bowed gallantly, and followed Kitty into the drawing room.
Caroline's eyes almost popped out of her head. Did he just compliment me?