Part I

he evening before Darcy is to leave for Town, he and Bingley are in the drawing room at Netherfield. Darcy is standing by the fire; Bingley is seated and staring up at a portrait of a beautiful lady. Bingley has little conversation in him, being too occupied with thoughts of Miss Bennet. Darcy is also occupied with thoughts of Miss Bennet and knows that he must undo the damage he has done to his friend and Jane--and through her, Elizabeth. With trepidation about what his confession will do to his friend and their friendship, he begins:

"Bingley, I have a confession to make... and an apology to offer," Darcy says, as he kicks the fire.

Bingley, in a glow from his renewed and growing love for Jane, is too engrossed in his own feelings to notice Darcy's discomfort.

"Last winter," Darcy continues, "I persuaded you to break your attachment to Miss Bennet and not to return to Netherfield from London. I gave you three reasons why you should do this."

Darcy glances over to his friend before continuing. He sees that he has gotten Bingley's full attention. Darcy, finding it difficult to face his friend, returns to the fire.

"The first reason I gave you--which was honestly held and generated, I assure you, by our friendship--was my belief that, with respect to connections and fortune, you could do better. Miss Bennet, as you know, has little but herself to offer--but you, of course, found that quite sufficient." Darcy smiles at his friend.

Turning away again, he continues, "The second reason was that, with Netherfield's proximity to Longbourne, her family--her three youngest sisters and her mother in particular--would prove to be an unhappy connection. To be so near to them, and inevitably so often in contact with them, to have them belong to you, would, I believed, have lead you to regret the marriage."

Bingley looks at Darcy with some anger at the memory of what his friend had done and said the year before. Darcy sees it, and is somewhat relieved by his friend's resentment. To have Bingley still in a state of near-worship after the pain he has caused him, would have been impossible to bear, and would make what must be said all the more difficult.

Darcy struggles to continue, and eventually presses on, "These two reasons have, in light of later events, become absurd and, coming from me, impertinent." Darcy stops and turns to his friend. What he has to say must be said face-to-face, but he has difficulty finding the courage to speak.

After a few moments Bingley, his face filled with puzzlement, says, "I do not understand, Darcy. What are you talking about?"

"Last spring, when I was visiting my Aunt in Kent, I put aside all of the reasons I gave you, all of the reasons which had filled my head for months and which had prevented me from taking any action, and I gave in to the feelings which I had, for so long, repressed...Bingley, last April, I asked Miss Elizabeth Bennet to marry me."

Bingley can scarcely believe his ears. "You....you...," he trails off in shock and disbelief.

"Obviously, she refused me," Darcy says quietly.

Bingley is struggling to absorb what he has just heard. Regaining some of his composure, he says, "I had no idea you had any feelings for Elizabeth Bennet."

"No. Neither, it seems, did she," Darcy says with an ironic and somewhat bitter laugh.

Bingley is torn between feelings of sorrow for his friend's obvious disappointment and anger at his friend's interference.

Darcy tries to continue, "These reasons that I gave you last year--her family, her connections and fortune, to your credit, held little sway with you.

"Finally, I offered a third reason why you should break with Miss Bennet. That reason was my belief, which, I assure you, at the time was honestly held, that Miss Bennet did not care for you. I know now that I was wrong, that I saw what I wanted to see, that she was, indeed, very much in love with you.

"Since I have proven myself to be a very poor judge of the hearts of Miss Bennets, you need not only take my word for it. Her sister told me so herself....Please believe me Bingley, if I had known she was attached to you, if I had known her feelings, I would never, never, have done what I did. I never meant to hurt her--or you....I am very sorry, Bingley. I pray you can believe that."

Bingley is deep in thought; his face sad and pained; he is no longer thinking of Darcy's disappointment. Darcy feels it is best to give his friend time to, at least partially, understand what has been said and returns to the fire. Darcy's thoughts are filled with the knowledge that he has paid a heavy, but, perhaps, entirely just, price for his interference in his friend's life--it has, in part, cost him the woman he loves.

Slowly, Bingley gets up silently and heads for the door, as he passes, he gives Darcy an angry stare.

"Bingley, I am afraid I have not yet finished my confession, or my apology," says Darcy.

Without turning Bingley says, "It can wait until tomorrow."

"No, I do not think it should wait."

Bingley stops and sits down on the arm of a chair. He does not look at his friend.

"Last winter, after Christmas, Miss Bennet traveled with the Gardiner's to London. She stayed with them until the spring. I was fully aware that she was in Town, but I deliberately kept you from learning of it...I am ashamed of having done so. I know it was very wrong of me. That I felt what I was doing was for the best, I know, means nothing to you. I should never have interfered. I am very deeply sorry, Bingley."

Bingley continues to stare at the carpet. After a few minutes Darcy walks over to his friend and says, "If you still have any trust left in me Bingley, then perhaps you should like to know that I believe Miss Bennet is, today, very much in love with you...I know that I do not deserve your forgiveness. I only hope that you will soon be so very happy, that you will be able to find it in your heart to forgive me...Good night, Bingley," Darcy says as he leaves the room.

The next morning, to Darcy's surprise, Bingley is there to see him off to London.

While his coachman is preparing his carriage, Darcy says to his friend: "Bingley, I do not know whether I shall be able to come back here. I do not think I can be so near to Longbourne. I can not b--...I think it very likely that I will be remaining in London. I hope you can understand. I shall, of course, come for your wedding. I would not miss it for the world."

Bingley, though still very angry with Darcy for his interference, for hiding knowledge of Jane's visit to London from him, and mostly for having hurt Jane, is also deeply moved by the obvious depth of his friend's love for Elizabeth. Almost out of habit he asks, "Then, you think I should ask Jane to marry me?"

"Bingley, after all I have done to you--and to her, could you really want my opinion on this subject?" asks Darcy.

"I...Perhaps I have valued your opinion for so long that I can not stop valuing it now. I would like to know that I have your blessing, Darcy."

"I know you will be very happy, Bingley. I wish you every joy in the world," Darcy says and he steps into his carriage.

This story is part of a longer one which asks the question "What if Lady Catherine had not interfered?" If Lady Catherine had never informed Darcy of Elizabeth's reaction to her demands, then Darcy might never have learned that Elizabeth loved him, and we might have had a different ending. That ending is in the process of being written.

Though that is the premise of the full story, both this section and the next one"Between Love And Loss" stand on their own--without that premise. They both deal with the unresolved situation between Darcy and Elizabeth after his return to Netherfield and during his trip to London.