Beginning, Section II
The hopeful return to Netherfield
Posted on Thursday, 29 March 2007
BINGLEYDARCY
Ah, back at Netherfield. I thought I'd never see this place again.
BINGLEYDARCY
...talking to Jane...
BINGLEYDARCY
...listening to her voice...
BINGLEYDARCY
...toasting her good health...
BINGLEYDARCY
...looking into her eyes...
BINGLEYDARCY
...smelling her perfume...
BINGLEYDARCY
Do or die?
BINGLEYDARCY
Always the romantic, aren't you, Darcy?
BINGLEYDARCY
Me first?
BINGLEYDARCY
Why me?
BINGLEYDARCY
Now that we're here, I'm not sure I have the nerve to actually do the deed.
BINGLEYDARCY
Since when are you qualified to give advice, Darcy? How many times have you ever proposed marriage to a woman?
BINGLEYDARCY
If you've been turned down that many times, Darcy, then any advice you have can't be worth much.
BINGLEYDARCY
As if anyone would ever turn you down. I, on the other hand, don't have a huge fortune or an ancient estate to help bolster my offer.
BINGLEYDARCY
Why are you so anxious for my success? Do you think that Elizabeth will follow her sister's lead?
BINGLEY
Why don't you just ask her today? Short and sweet. No one in her right mind would ever turn you down.
MRS. BENNETDARCY
Mr. Darcy, what an unexpected treat to see you yet again.
MRS. BENNETDARCY
Would you like some tea? I'll try to be more careful this time.
MRS. BENNETDARCY
Would you care to see the view from Oakham Mount? My daughter Mary might be willing to take you there.
MRS. BENNETDARCY
Lizzy is busy with her father, Kitty is out at the --
MRS. BENNETDARCY
Oh, certainly. We'll wait for Kitty then.
MRS. BENNETDARCY
Oh, you wanted Mary? Yes, Mary can point out the many different birds that frequent our area. And she's a very accomplished young lady I must say. Have you heard her play?
MRS. BENNET
I'll fetch her. MARY!! COME QUICK!!
ELIZABETHDARCY
Yes, it does.
ELIZABETHDARCY
Oh. How is your sister?
ELIZABETHDARCY
I did enjoy meeting her. She's a lovely girl. I can see why you're so proud of her.
ELIZABETHDARCY
Oh, nonsense. I don't believe it.
ELIZABETHDARCY
Yes?
ELIZABETHDARCY
Oh, just another ten minutes or so.
ELIZABETHDARCY
Yes. You can see quite a distance.
ELIZABETHDARCY
Quite well.
ELIZABETHDARCY
Yes?
ELIZABETHDARCY
Yes?
ELIZABETHDARCY
Yes, that's true. But we've quite enjoyed it.
ELIZABETHDARCY
Oh yes. I expect that we'll be able to see for several miles.
ELIZABETHDARCY
Yes?
ELIZABETHDARCY
Yes. They're quite abundant.
ELIZABETHDARCY
Oh.
ELIZABETHDARCY
Yes.
ELIZABETHDARCY
Yes.
ELIZABETHDARCY
Yes?
ELIZABETHDARCY
...
ELIZABETH
Oh.
MARY BENNETDARCY
Oh, Mr. Darcy. Can I get you some tea?
MARYDARCY
Some coffee perhaps?
MARYDARCY
Another cigar?
MARYDARCY
Oh, another match, then? You cigar appears to be lit unevenly.
MARY
Make sure to call me when your ash grows too long.
MR. BENNETDARCY
Mr. Darcy. I understand you've been keeping my little Lizzy occupied at Oakham Mount.
MR. BENNETDARCY
Well, I have to thank you most sincerely. It's been good for her to get out and about.
MR. BENNETDARCY
She seems to have a lot on her mind lately.
MR. BENNETDARCY
She's always been rather a precocious girl. If she gets too argumentative, just be firm with her.
MR. BENNETDARCY
Don't let her get under your skin.
MR. BENNETDARCY
Perhaps you'd be good enough to take Kitty out with you tomorrow.. She also needs to be out of the house a bit more often.
MR. BENNET
Oh, excuse me one moment, Mr. Darcy. ...Lizzy! You only filled my coffee cup half way. Where is your mind these days, child?
MR. LONGDARCY
Oh, Mr. Darcy. Have you met my daughter? Allow me to introduce you.
MR. LONGDARCY
No, no. She'll be delighted to meet you. No doubt about it.
MR. LONG
No, no. She's right over here.
MISS LONGDARCY
Mr. Darcy, I've been trying to convince Miss Elizabeth Bennet, that lady over there, sitting by my sister, have you met her?
MISS LONGDARCY
Well, anyway, I've been trying to convince her that a gentleman, having been refused once in his offer of marriage, would never bring himself to renew that offer. Do you not agree?
MISS LONGDARCY
Oh, well a certain gentleman made an offer to Miss King several months ago, but she hasn't heard from him since.
MISS LONGDARCY
Oh, Mr. Darcy, I don't believe a word of it.
MISS LONGDARCY
I must say I've certainly never been asked a second time. Why I remember one time when --
MISS LONG
I'm going to tell Miss Elizabeth that you completely agree with me.
MRS. BENNETDARCY
Mr. Darcy, do you play whist? Of course you do. Sit down here.
MRS. BENNETDARCY
Oh, dear. It appears that you'll be my partner, Mr. Darcy. Unless you'd like to play with the Johnston twins.
MRS. BENNETDARCY
I do hope you won't ruff any of my aces. sir.
MRS. BENNET
What is your favourite trump suit, Mr. Darcy? I quite prefer hearts. I do hope I turn up a heart.
MRS. BENNETDARCY
Mr. Darcy! That was my ace that you just ruffed. And you missed my trump peter. I wish you'd pay more attention to events at our table, sir.
MRS. BENNETDARCY
If you'd really like to be Miss Long's partner then I can ask Lizzy to swap places with you..
BINGLEYDARCY
Darcy, why did you have to order our carriage so soon? I was looking forward to supper.
BINGLEYDARCY
Well, that wasn't exactly the best environment in which to propose marriage. I noticed you speaking briefly with Number Two.
BINGLEY
I hope the weather's nice tomorrow. Oakham Mount is starting to get quite muddy.
BINGLEYDARCY
Well, I haven't had much opportunity to be alone with Jane.
BINGLEYDARCY
Well what's your excuse?
BINGLEYDARCY
Since when do you need encouragement? Just ask her the question and she'll say yes. How could she possibly turn you down?
BINGLEYDARCY
And what makes you think that Jane loves me? She hardly says a word to me when we go walking. And she hardly looks at me.
BINGLEYDARCY
Persistence, Darcy, persistence. That's what we need.
BINGLEY
London?
Darcy's Dialogues: Darcy bumps into Lizzy at Pemberley
Posted on Wednesday, 11 April 2007
MR. GARDINERLIZZY
Lizzy! There you are. You'll never guess what just happened.
MR. GARDINERLIZZY
It seems the master has returned a day early.
MR. GARDINERLIZZY
The gardener and I just saw him in the distance riding towards the house.
MR. GARDINERLIZZY
He says it's not unusual for this to happen.
MR. GARDINERLIZZY
I certainly wouldn't mind meeting him.
MR. GARDINERLIZZY
Lizzy. What's the matter? He'd probably like to say hello to you.
MR. GARDINERLIZZY
But Lizzy --
MR. GARDINERLIZZY
You're not feeling well?
MR. GARDINERLIZZY
Well, I don't really expect to see him in any case. He certainly wouldn't be greeting visitors himself, Lizzy. He leaves that job to --
MR. GARDINERLIZZY
But she doesn't even know your name.
MR. GARDINERLIZZY
Well, if he does come out, I'll tell him that you --
MR. GARDINERLIZZY
Oh, nonsense, Lizzy.
MR. GARDINERLIZZY
Lizzy. Come back here.
ELIZABETHDARCY
Oh.
ELIZABETHDARCY
...
ELIZABETHDARCY
...
ELIZABETHDARCY
...um
ELIZABETHDARCY
Fine.
ELIZABETHDARCY
Fine.
ELIZABETHDARCY
Yes.
ELIZABETHDARCY
I'm so sorry.
ELIZABETHDARCY
I'm ...
ELIZABETHDARCY
I'm fine.
ELIZABETHDARCY
Are you well?
ELIZABETHDARCY
Yes.
ELIZABETHDARCY
I'm so sorry, Mr. Darcy.
ELIZABETHDARCY
Yes, my parents are well.
ELIZABETHDARCY
We left several weeks ago.
ELIZABETHDARCY
Derbyshire is beautiful.
ELIZABETHDARCY
Yes, my family is well.
ELIZABETHDARCY
Several weeks.
ELIZABETHDARCY
I'm so sorry.
ELIZABETHDARCY
I'm with my aunt and uncle.
ELIZABETH
Good day.
MRS. GARDINERLIZZY
Lizzy! What is it? You look terrified!
MRS. GARDINERLIZZY
Who, Lizzy?
MRS. GARDINERLIZZY
Lizzy, catch your breath.
MRS. GARDINERLIZZY
But Lizzy, surely he'll allow us to finish our tour.
MRS. GARDINERLIZZY
Whyever not?
MRS. GARDINERLIZZY
Oh Lizzy. Don't be silly. You heard what Mrs. Reynolds said about him. Never a cross word --
MRS. GARDINERLIZZY
To what, Lizzy? I'm sure he'd be delighted to see you.
MRS. GARDINERLIZZY
But Lizzy, is that Mr. Darcy? Walking this way?
MRS. GARDINER
He's coming up behind you. ... Good day, sir.
Darcy's Dialogues: At the Netherfield Ball
Posted on Friday, 20 April 2007
BINGLEYDARCY
Well, Darcy. Are you in a dancing mood tonight?
BINGLEYDARCY
Look. You're one of the hosts tonight --
BINGLEYDARCY
-- and I hope you'll act accordingly.
BINGLEY
If you're not going to be sociable, Darcy, then you might as well just help out in the kitchen.
MISS BINGLEYDARCY
Oh, Mr. Darcy. I really don't relish the idea of being stomped upon by a muddy-booted corn-husker tonight.
MISS BINGLEYDARCY
You can take every dance with me, if you wish.
MISS BINGLEYDARCY
Oh, yes. That's true.
MISS BINGLEY
Oh, dear. Perhaps I could hide behind you if he approaches. You could block his view.
BINGLEYDARCY
Darcy, when Miss Jane arrives, I want you to take Miss Elizabeth away somewhere and leave Jane alone with me. Those two are inseparable at these get-togethers.
BINGLEYDARCY
So dance with her mother, then. I want to be alone with Number One as much as possible.
BINGLEYDARCY
I hope you're right, Darcy. The only reason I threw this ball in the first place was to dance with Miss Bennet.
BINGLEYDARCY
Perhaps you and I should agree on some hand signals.
BINGLEY
I don't give a wild goose-feather for the other ladies, Darcy. I plan on spending a lot of time with Bennet Number One tonight. Steer clear of her, will you?
DARCY
LOUISADARCY
Oh, dear. He'd better not spend the entire evening with Miss Bennet. He's the host of this affair after all.
LOUISADARCY
Then you and my husband will have to keep Charles away from her. Keep him in the billiard room talking politics.
LOUISADARCY
Yes, you're right. He'll have to act like a proper host tonight. He should be dancing with everyone but Miss Bennet.
LOUISADARCY
Perhaps if you keep Miss Jane busy on the dance floor, then Charles won't have a chance to --
LOUISA
Go talk to my husband. Perhaps he can think of something.
HURSTDARCY
Well, Darcy...
HURSTDARCY
I hope Miss King wears the same dress that she was wearing at that ball in Meryton. They don't build women like that any more, Darcy.
HURSTDARCY
I've been trying to think of a way to get her to dance with me. I might need your help.
HURSTDARCY
I can't just walk up to her and ask her to dance. I'm a married man. How would that look?
HURSTDARCY
Look here. Why don't you yourself ask Miss King to dance, and then I'll come over and say that Bingley needs you.
HURST
Well, the guests are starting to arrive. Oh, look! There's Miss King!
MRS. BENNETDARCY
Hello, Mr. Darcy. Where is Mr. Bingley, pray?
MRS. BENNET
Oh, there he is. Jane, come this way. Quickly.
DARCY
ELIZABETHDARCY
Quite well, thank you.
ELIZABETHDARCY
No, not at all.
ELIZABETHDARCY
Well, I really couldn't say, sir.
ELIZABETHDARCY
Sir, I'm holding up the line. I really should be moving along.
MISS KING
Why, Mr. Darcy! How are you this evening?
DARCY
HURSTDARCY
Yes, I can see that her dress fits even more effectively than last time.
HURST
Remember, Darcy, after you ask her to dance, give me a hand signal.
LOUISADARCY
Fitzwilliam, Miss Elizabeth is asking about George Wickham.
LOUISADARCY
No, no, that's good news. For you at least.
LOUISADARCY
Yes. He's probably already spread his usual lies about you. You won't have to worry about chasing her away.
LOUISA
She probably despises you already. You're off the hook.
MISS BINGLEYDARCY
Mr. Darcy. Stand in front of me. Quickly.
MISS BINGLEYDARCY
I need you to shield me from that Freddy Fish-seller.
MISS BINGLEY
No, no. Come back!
DARCY
ELIZABETHDARCY
Well, sir, I believe I'm engaged for the next several dances with my cousin.
ELIZABETHDARCY
Have you met him?
ELIZABETHDARCY
Perhaps when he and I are done dancing, I'll introduce him to you. I'm sure he has a lot he'd like to discuss with you.
ELIZABETHDARCY
He's quite a fascinating conversationalist.
ELIZABETHDARCY
Oh, well, if you're feeling fidgety then let me call Miss King over. I know for a fact that she loves reels.
MISS KINGDARCY
Why Mr. Darcy! Isn't it odd how we keep meeting?
MISS KING
Can I light a cigar for you?
BINGLEYDARCY
Darcy, why haven't I seen you dancing yet?
BINGLEYDARCY
Why don't you dance with Miss King? She's been making a nuisance of herself all night.
BINGLEY
Oh. Miss Jane is back. Bye.
MISS BINGLEYDARCY
Mr. Darcy, that fishman has been chasing me around all evening.
MISS BINGLEYDARCY
He managed to accost me a few minutes ago. I was in need of your help.
MISS BINGLEY
Didn't you see me signalling with my hand?
DARCY
ELIZABETHDARCY
Oh, oh, certainly. Oh, wait. Um, um...
ELIZABETH
But, but...
MR. COLLINSDARCY
Mr. Darcy, allow me to apologize for accosting you in such an abrupt manner, but my cousin Miss Elizabeth insisted that I should take pains to present myself to your acquaintance. I humbly beseech your patience and solicitude, sir, and ask that you grant me permission to express the great honour I feel in at long last making the acquaintance of the illustrious nephew of my great patroness, Lady --
MR. COLLINSDARCY
Oh, beg pardon, Mr. Darcy. Almost as soon as I arrived in Hertfordshire, I singled you out as the one person to whom I must make my presence known, having been so recently in the company of your own Aunt, the Lady --
MR. COLLINSDARCY
You will be pleased to know, sir, that not only is your Aunt in the best of health, but also that your own beloved cousin, Miss Anne de Bourgh, was, when I last saw her, in --
LOUISADARCY
Fitzwilliam, why were you dancing with Miss Elizabeth? You should've continued dancing with Miss King.
LOUISADARCY
Nonsense. I thought we were trying to shun the Bennets.
LOUISADARCY
Look, Fitzwilliam, we can hardly tell Charles that Miss Jane is unsuitable if you continue to court her sister.
LOUISADARCY
If you're not going to leave Miss Elizabeth alone then you and Charles should just marry the Bennets and be done with it. It really doesn't matter to me.
LOUISADARCY
I'm growing rather fond of Hertfordshire.
LOUISA
You and Caroline are so intent on finding a well-connected wife for Charles, but at this rate...
BINGLEYDARCY
So, Darcy. I see you finally got a chance to dance with Miss Elizabeth. Took you long enough.
BINGLEYDARCY
Oh, Darcy, I'm in heaven. I wish this evening would never end.
BINGLEYDARCY
Miss Bennet is an angel. A goddess...
DARCY
MISS BINGLEYDARCY
How did that tradesman get invited to our ball?
MISS BINGLEYDARCY
I think he was raised by a pack of elephants.
MISS BINGLEY
Very well. But I'll just barely have time to change.
HURSTDARCY
Darcy, what's gotten into you?
HURSTDARCY
You danced with Miss King! I was trying to make my way over to you, but you went ahead and actually danced with her.
HURSTDARCY
Well, go ask her again. Then give me the signal.
LOUISADARCY
Well, we're in a fine state now, aren't we?
LOUISADARCY
I was speaking of Charles.
LOUISADARCY
You're going to have to make up your mind.
LOUISADARCY
Either you court Miss Elizabeth properly and encourage Charles with Miss Jane, or we should just leave this place immediately.
LOUISADARCY
Tomorrow.
LOUISADARCY
Of course I know what Caroline expects us to do.
LOUISADARCY
I can't understand why you take such an interest in Miss Elizabeth while at the same time you're so determined to keep Charles away from her sister.
LOUISADARCY
I know you have no interest in my sister. I haven't been able to convince her of that, though. But you seem to agree with her when it comes to Charles' future.
LOUISADARCY
Just think, Fitzwilliam. You have two women in your life that you can't seem to say no to: my sister and your aunt.
LOUISA
And you're not even married.
A party at Lucas Lodge
Posted on Sunday, 15 July 2007
BINGLEYDARCY
There's really no need for you to come tonight, Darcy.
BINGLEYDARCY
You're not exactly everyone's favourite houseguest, you know.
BINGLEYDARCY
I really don't think you'll be missed, Darcy.
BINGLEYDARCY
I'm worried that you'll upset Miss Jane's sister, and then she'll upset Jane, and then I'll get upset. I'd like Jane to be in a good mood tonight.
BINGLEYDARCY
You have a knack for overturning people's moods, Darcy. Especially hers. And Miss King's.
BINGLEYDARCY
The proprietor of that dress shop is barring you from his premises, you know.
BINGLEYDARCY
Thank goodness she won't be there tonight.
BINGLEYDARCY
Perhaps Caroline can keep you occupied.
BINGLEYDARCY
Maybe you should try dancing this time.
BINGLEYDARCY
Oh for heaven's sake, Darcy. After all that fuss you're not going to come now?
BINGLEYDARCY
Well stay away from my tawny port.
BINGLEYDARCY
And hands off the French brandy.
BINGLEYDARCY
Well, it's better this way in any case. When Miss Elizabeth arrives, she and Jane won't get annoyed by your clever banter.
BINGLEYDARCY
No. Miss King won't be coming.
BINGLEYDARCY
I hope Jane wears that white dress again.
BINGLEYDARCY
Oh, believe me, Darcy, she won't miss you, that's for sure.
BINGLEYDARCY
Blast it all, Darcy. You're as fickle as a woman.
BINGLEYDARCY
If I see you talking to Miss Elizabeth then I'm sending Caroline over.
BINGLEY
If you upset her tonight, Darcy, I'll have you tied to that oak tree out front.
BINGLEYDARCY
Darcy, stop eavesdropping on Miss Elizabeth.
BINGLEYDARCY
Leave her alone.
BINGLEYDARCY
Go talk to Caroline before she insults Lady Lucas again. Egads, sometimes my sister is almost as bad as you are.
BINGLEY
Well watch your tongue, Darcy.
MISS ELIZABETHDARCY
Did not you think, Mr. Darcy, that I expressed myself uncommonly well just now, when I was teazing Colonel Forster to give us a ball at Meryton?
MISS ELIZABETHDARCY
You are severe on us.
MISS ELIZABETHDARCY
I hope you don't think that young ladies are only concerned with frivolous activities such as dancing and parties.
MISS ELIZABETHDARCY
Primitive? I suppose the inhabitants of Hertfordshire must indeed appear rather primitive compared to the fashionable crowd that you're accustomed to, Mr. Darcy.MISS LUCAS
Now Lizzy...
MISS ELIZABETH
Oh, I'm just teazing, Mr. Darcy.MISS LUCAS
It will be her turn soon to be teazed. I am going to open the instrument, Eliza, and you know what follows.
BINGLEYDARCY
Why can't you stay away from Miss Elizabeth like I asked you to?
BINGLEYDARCY
Why don't you just find a corner to hide in?
BINGLEY
Oh, good heavens. Captain Carter is pestering Jane again. I'll be right back.
BINGLEYDARCY
I thought you were going to be dancing tonight, Darcy.
BINGLEYDARCY
Oh-oh.
BINGLEY
Oh no. What did you say to her this time?
MISS BINGLEYDARCY
Miss Elizabeth Bennet! I am all astonishment. How long has she been such a favourite? -- and pray, when am I to wish you joy?
MISS BINGLEYDARCY
Nay, if you are so serious about it, I shall consider the matter as absolutely settled. You will have a charming mother-in-law, indeed; and, of course, she will be always at Pemberley with you.
MISS BINGLEYDARCY
The younger Misses Bennet will make marvelous companions for your sister. I'm sure Georgiana has much to learn from them.
MISS BINGLEYDARCY
And Miss Mary Bennet will be an immense aid to your librarian. She'll make sure that Pemberley is well stocked with big thick tomes full of lessons on temperance and moral rectitude.
MISS BINGLEYDARCY
And you can invite the Lucases for the Christmas season. Just imagine Sir William's lively conversation.
MISS BINGLEY
Now if only the militia could set up camp near Lambton.
MISS ELIZABETHDARCY
Mr. Darcy, I'm told that you're leaving us soon.
MISS ELIZABETHDARCY
I hope it was nothing I said.
MISS ELIZABETHDARCY
And will you be returning home to Derbyshire afterwards?
MISS ELIZABETHDARCY
Then we won't see you again before the Christmas season. If at all.
MISS ELIZABETHDARCY
Well, please don't rush back until all of your affairs have been fully dealt with. Are you taking Miss Bingley with you?
MISS ELIZABETHDARCY
I've gotten the impression that there's very little in Hertfordshire that would tempt you to return.
MISS ELIZABETHDARCY
Oh, I think he's the sort of man who can easily find ways to amuse himself.
MISS ELIZABETHDARCY
Don't feel that you need to come back only for his sake.
MISS ELIZABETHDARCY
He's already made many good friends in the Meryton area. If he gets lonely, there are many, many people that he can turn to.
MISS ELIZABETHDARCY
I know several people who find him to be a most excellent dance partner.
MISS ELIZABETHDARCY
Well, Mr. Darcy, in case you don't return to Hertfordshire and I never see you again for the rest of my entire life, allow me to thank you for the stimulating glimpses of London high society that you've given us.
BINGLEYDARCY
Well, I see you left Miss Elizabeth in quite a good mood.
BINGLEYDARCY
So you are leaving after all.
BINGLEYDARCY
Well, you needn't worry about me, Darcy. Mrs. Bennet has given me an open invitation to dine at Longbourn any time I wish.