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Chapter 5

Posted on Friday, 2 September 2005

The conversation was brief. Hellos were said and wishes extended to see the others again. Frederick hardly looked at her. She supposed it was only natural, she had rejected him and now he had made a fine career for himself. She, on the other hand, was the daughter of a bankrupt baronet and also was wearing very old, very messy pyjamas. She felt embarrassed by her clothing when she noticed that Louisa and Henrietta were both wearing clean outfits which they had bought yesterday, they could have taken time out to be piteous but they were both too absorbed in Frederick. She supposed that their attitude was only natural as Anne was almost a member of the family whereas Frederick was a new and famous addition.

She could not really think of what was being said. She heard most of the words but could not process them. She was too intent on not staring at Frederick. He was avoiding her glance like the plague.

"Freddie this is Anne Elliot. She's Mary's sister and a really good friend of ours." Louisa's bubbly voice permeated the bubble that Anne was in. She realized in dread that the introductions were taking place. Then she realized that Louisa was calling him Freddie. He hated Freddie. Perhaps he had changed. Eight years does that to people. Frederick interrupted Louisa before Anne could reply.

"Anne and I have met before Louisa."

"Have you?"

"Yes. Briefly." His words cut her to the quick. He was only prepared to acknowledge her as a brief acquaintance. She could have been just that to him. It was possible that their relationship could have been a faint memory for him. He had certainly been in the company of many beautiful women since.

"It's nice to see you again Frederick." Her tones sounded low and masked even to herself. No-one noticed it. Well, perhaps Frederick did for she saw him gaze at her as if wondering if she was truly the Anne Elliot of day's past.

"Anne."

He'd never said her name so coldly before. Even when she had broken the engagement he had had passion in his tone, albeit anger. This was further evidence of his indifference. She heard CJ cry out. She took the easy way out and went to help him. While she was doing such a thing Frederick and the other women, including Mary, went out of the room. Fifteen minutes later they had still not come back.

Much of her day was spent either thinking about The Meeting or wondering where they had all gone. It was nearly tea-time until she had some adult company again. Thankfully she had taken time out to change her clothes and was now much more suitably attired in jeans and a black t-shirt. Black seemed to fit her mood today.

She heard a knocking on the door and then the person, upon finding that the door was open, entered the house. Anne did not know who it was. None of the Musgroves would have knocked. For an irrational moment she was afraid that the person was a burglar, then scolded herself over the notion that a burglar would knock.

It turned out that it was none of the above.

Anne was in the kitchen cooking herself some tea and heard the person enter the sitting-room. She peeked her head out of the door-way. Her breath caught in her throat.

It was Frederick.

Unfortunately it was too late to ignore him. He had seen that she had seen him. She was sure that her face must have coloured but his had not. Only a faint blush visible on his throat if one looked very carefully. Wiping her hands on the tea-towel she walked into the sitting-room. He was standing still in the centre of the room.

"Can I help you?"

This got him to speak.

"Yes. I seemed to have misplaced my car keys. The last time I can think of having them is here."

"Where did you leave them?"

"On that table," he pointed at said piece of furniture and Anne saw that there were no keys on it. Only a phone and a potted plant.

"Are you absolutely certain that you left them here?"

His face contorted slightly. "Are you suggesting that my memory is not as good as it once was Anne?"

"No," she whispered.

He didn't seem to hear her words for he prowled towards her and she did not move. He was coming closer to her and the only thought in her mind was that he was even more handsome than he had been eight years ago. If that was possible.

"I remember that you used to frown at me when I started to swear. I remember that you used to be so innocent. But what I remember most is how wrong I was at ever believing you were a good and honest person. I learnt that lesson when you stabbed me in the back."

"Please Frederick. Don't." She was pleading with him and searching her memory for something which would ease the mood a little. "Your keys. You came here for your keys."

This seemed to bring him back to earth and Anne saw remorse in his eyes. "Anne, I'm sorry, I never meant-"

"It's okay. Listen, the table was right beside CJ. Maybe he took them and hid them somewhere. I'll look for them." She turned to go but he gently grasped her arm.

"There's no need. I'm sure Musgrove can bring me home."

"Okay." She looked up into his eyes for the first time in eight years and noticed that in them at least he had not changed. Maybe there was a little more cynicism in them than previously, but nothing else had changed. They stood there until Frederick realized that it must be time for him to go.

"I hope that you are able to go to Mrs. Musgrove's dinner party tomorrow night. You will not be required to look after the boys, will you?"

Anne had never heard of this party but the tone in Frederick's voice made her respond differently. "No. Mary will probably get a babysitter. Last night was an emergency. And after all, I am his aunt."

"But not his mother."

Suddenly Anne wondered if he remembered that he had once criticized Mrs. Musgrove's fashion sense. But by that time he was nearly out of the room. She let him go. Then she heard his voice calling her.

"Mrs. Musgrove's fashion's improved, hasn't it?"

The next evening

Anne was getting ready in her room. Mary had told her of the dinner party when she had returned from the excursion. With very little coercion from Anne Mary told her where they had gone that day. Apparently Uppercross had a very good tennis club and, according to Mary, served excellent white wine spritzers. Earlier that day Anne had managed to find time to go shopping. After much deliberation she had decided on a dark blue dress which was currently hanging on her wardrobe door.

Tonight her hair was being particularly annoying and would not sit in the right place. After much frustration she abandoned the hair-dryer in favour of a very strong brush. Then, a very long time later, it finally settled. She was dressed and downstairs before any of the others and had poured herself a glass of water. It would have been wine but Anne didn't drink alcohol. Mary did though and there were dozens of bottles of white and red wine in various cupboards in the kitchen. Anne began to wonder if her sister had a drinking problem and that was the reason for her feeling so ill most of the time. It was a very good theory but one which she would never raise in company.

"So Anne, you're all ready for tonight then?" Charles was trying to put his cuff links on with very little success so Anne went over to him and helped her brother-in-law out.

"What would I do if it wasn't for you Anne? Mary doesn't have the faintest idea about ties or cuff links or anything."

"Yes, if I wasn't here to help, you'd have never learned how to tie your tie properly."

"Anne, how did you do that? I mean you don't seem to have had many serious boyfriends who you would help out in that department."

The teasing mood that had been present disappeared with Charles' words. Instead there was an atmosphere of tension as Anne finished with the cuff links. "I went to a boarding school Charles. We had ties." Her voice was cold.

Neither of them said anything else until Mary came down. Charles was chiding himself over putting his foot in it with Anne about her and boyfriends. As far as he knew, he had been the only one. And their relationship had never been very serious. Anne was preparing for the night ahead. They both looked up as Mary came prancing into the room with her new designer red dress on. It looked horrendous, even Mary admitted it, but it was expensive and that was what counted to the younger sister.

"Do you like it Charles? Anne? It cost an arm and a leg. But Freddie Wentworth is sure to appreciate it." They both replied that it was certainly a distinctive dress and Mary seemed satisfied.

Charles and Mary's house was only a short walk to the elder Musgroves' estate but Mary insisted on taking the car because "we want to make an impression Charles and your Mercedes will do so." So they were in a car for a journey which took approximately thirty seconds to complete. When they arrived at the Musgroves they saw that Henrietta and Louisa were there (the sports car was in the drive) and Anne noticed the Crofts' Land Rover there as well. It seemed as if they were the last to arrive, a fact which pleased Mary to no end. Honestly, she's getting as bad as Elizabeth! Anne thought to herself.

They reached the Musgroves' front door and instead of walking in as they normally did, Mary insisted that they knock. It was highly irregular for Charles to knock at the door of his childhood home. Anne could guess what Henrietta and Louisa would say and what derogative remarks would be made towards Mary. Mrs. Musgrove answered the door and seemed very surprised to see them there. She ushered them inside with an urgent "come in, come in!" and soon they were in the warm comfort of the Musgrove farmhouse.

A vague mumbling could be heard from inside the room and from the looks of it everyone was having a drink before dinner. George and Sophy Croft were sitting in the comfortable leather sofas beside the fire, Mr. Musgrove was standing near the window and, what should have been an amusing sight had it been anyone else, the Musgrove sisters were monopolising Frederick's attention. When they entered everyone turned and offered varying expressions at seeing each member of the party. Sophy was glad that she could see Anne again for she really did like the girl. She seemed the only sensible one in the family. So she stood up and headed towards Anne and hugged her as a greeting.

"Come on over here Anne. It's so good to see you."

"Alright Sophy."

Instead of sitting where she had previously been sitting, Sophy led Anne towards the clattering of sofas and armchairs in the middle of the room and George approached too. Only then did Anne fully realize who she was going to be sitting beside. Frederick and the Musgrove girls. The latter two seemed happy to see Anne but Frederick appeared slightly shocked, but only so much that only the closest friend could see it. Anne did. Sophy did too. She'd have to investigate this. She knew that Frederick and Anne had been acquaintances at some stage and, although her brother had protested, she had always felt that there had been something more to their relationship than just friendship. Perhaps it was time for a little experiment.....

"Oh Anne! Freddie has been telling us such funny stories about life on tour."

"Louisa you flatter me to much when you say that they are funny. I should guess that Anne would disagree with you. I believe that she is a very surprising person." He was speaking to Louisa but his gaze and words were addressed to Anne. She had no doubt of what he meant by surprising. He meant betrayer, back-stabber and liar. If only she could make him realize that that was not what she had intended to do and that her intentions had been honourable in breaking up with him.

"Please, I would like to hear about such things."

"Would you?" It was not a question so much as a challenge and one which Anne could not respond to in present company. It was lucky then that Mrs. Musgrove called them in to eat.

The meal was good - even though Mary complained that the food was too rich for her stomach and that she should surely be sick in the morning. No one paid her any heed. The Crofts and Frederick had soon learned not to listen to Mary's complaints. She was a hypochondriac. They were just onto desert when the discussion properly turned towards tennis. Everyone wanted to know about Frederick's success. And his chances at Wimbledon this year.

"To be perfectly honest with you Louisa, I believe that I can win. I know I am good enough and unless the weather or Cliff Richard* interferes then I shall have no trouble." The confidence that he had had in youth was obviously still there. Actually it was so powerfully there that had the teasing glint not been in his eyes it would have been mistaken for arrogance.

"I suppose its all good food and women eh Freddie?" That was Charles somewhat base comment. Frederick good naturedly laughed it off.

"Definitely good food Charles. As for good women ... well ... who knows where a good woman is to be found. Some are deceptive even though they have the image of innocence."

"You sound like you've been burned."

"I have Charles. I learnt my lesson early." Anne gulped. If she could just keep out of this discussion then no-one would notice her embarrassment. She prayed that that no-one would talk to her.

Apparently there was no God. Or if there was then he didn't answer prayers.

"What do you say to this Anne? Frederick's very cynical. Too much time spent on his own or in the company of bad women I say. No Anne, there is one thing that would settle him - hopefully make him a little bit more optimistic, and that is a wife. Are you listening Frederick?" Frederick just smiled at his brother-in-law, wondering how much further he could take it. "Why you could have any of these girls - they all seem like decent females. What do you say Louisa, Henrietta would you have my brother-in-law?" The girls giggled and turned a fetching shade of crimson. "Or even, if you ask very nicely and are on your very best behaviour, Anne might agree! What do you say Anne?" George had meant this in good humour but it had affected Anne greatly, Frederick too was silent. Sophy, noticing their discomfort, subtlety kicked her husband under the table and sent him one of her looks.

The chatter returned to the table after a while but Anne kept her gaze as far away from Frederick as she could. Mrs. Musgrove had acquired a very nice picture and it was hanging on the wall beside the window. After dinner they all retired to the front room again and after a period of idle chit-chat Henrietta and Louisa began to get bored.

"Mum, can we do something? I mean it's just slightly boring in here."

"What do you want to do Louisa?"

"Well if the pub was open then we could go there but its not." The pub, The Foxhound, was closed due to refurbishment. It was the Musgrove sisters' favourite place in Uppercross. They had so wanted Freddie to see it.

"I've got an idea," Charles said with gusto, "What about the CD player in your room?" Everyone looked at Charles in disbelief. Mr. and Mrs. Musgrove couldn't believe that there son was suggesting that his sisters take Frederick up to the room to listen to music. Charles realized his mistake and quickly amended his words. "I mean, why don't you bring it down here with some of your CDs and we can have a mini-disco."

Henrietta and Louisa looked a little despairing but soon followed Charles' advice. Soon all the sofas and chairs were cleared away from the middle of the room to the sides and all breakable objects placed in another room. Just in case. Anne was in charge of the music and had been left with piles of CDs. She had to rifle through them to find any decent music and when she caught sight of the Spice Girls album wondered if Louisa and Henrietta had ever collected the photos and stickers. However that was only a very brief thought.**

Soon the music was in full flow. It was quite loud but luckily there were no neighbours to complain. The Musgrove farm was separated from the majority of people in Uppercross. Anne found herself very bored very quickly. Everybody was dancing apart from her. Not that she wanted to but she would have liked to have had some company during this. She could barely hear voices as the music was so loud but once she thought that Frederick was looking at her. The second she looked towards him his eyes changed direction and were now focused entirely on Louisa.

The next song was a very unexpected one. The CDs had been on random selection and after trying to find good songs Anne had just given up and bunged any old CD in. So far all the songs had been up tempo ones but not this one. Oh no.

You look into my eyes
I go out of my mind
I can't see anything
Cos this love's got me blind
I can't help myself
I can't break the spell
I can't even try

I'm in over my head
You got under skin
I got no strength at all
In the state that I'm in

And my knees are weak
And my mouth can't speak
Fell too far this time

Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do
I'm too lost in you

Well you whispered to me
And I shiver inside
You undo me and move me
In ways undefined
And you're all I see
And you're all I need
Help me baby
Help me baby

Cos I'm slipping away
Like the sand to the tide
Falling into your arms
Falling into your eyes
If you get too near
I might disappear
I might lose my mind

Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do
I'm too lost in you***

The sight that greeted Anne when she looked up nearly crucified her. She could feel the agony shooting to all parts of her body. And the reason?

In the middle of the floor, dancing to a slow song in each others arms, were Louisa and Frederick.

Author's Notes

*Cliff Richard sang one day when Wimbledon was rained off. Such has been the lasting memory that in Britain it has kind of become a running joke with regards to Wimbledon.

**In Britain the Spice Girls had HUGE commercial success and they even released their own collectable photos range. It became very popular with their fans.

***This song is called "Too Lost In You" and is sung by the Sugababes. I do not own it but I don't know who wrote it. You may recognize it from "Love Actually" as it was one of the songs on the soundtrack.

Chapter 6

Posted on Saturday, 17 September 2005

It was the morning after the night before. Not that anything scandalous had happened the night before but Anne felt that one glass of wine, no matter what emotional condition she was in, was one glass too much. After seeing Louisa and Frederick dancing, more like mating actually, she had accepted something alcoholic from Mary. It was a pitiful attempt to make everyone see that she didn't care that Frederick was interested in another woman. Now she realized that if anything her behaviour had proved the opposite.

Luckily for her, her nephews were at a family friends for the night. She could hear Mary snoring but she was not accompanied by Charles' deeper snores. He must have gone to work. Honestly, she didn't like to criticise Mary or Charles but she often wondered what kind of an example they were setting to their children. Mary was a stay-at-home mother who rarely saw her children and was on the verge of alcoholism while Charles was a consummate workaholic who loved his children but often saw them as only "an heir and a spare". Anne was a mother figure to the boys and although she enjoyed the role she knew that someday she would have to detach herself from them. But it hurt knowing that her nephews, almost as dear to her as sons, would be the only children that she would be like a mother to.

Finally Anne could listen to Mary's snores no longer and decided that a free morning would be well spent going for a walk. However by the time she had wrapped up enough to brace the British summer, which strangely enough was extremely non-summery, Mary had woken up and Anne had to delay her walk.

"Oh Anne could you get me a glass of wine. I have the most dreadful headache."

"Mary, it is only 11, and you are only up. I will not give you anything more alcoholic than a cup of tea and a painkiller."

Mary looked as though she was about to complain but instead thought better of it. Then the thing Anne had been expecting happened. "Oh Anne I feel dreadfully ill. It is not from the few glasses of wine that I had last night, I know it is not. Anne you do not care! Neither does Charles! I will die before either of you accept that there's anything wrong with me."

Anne, who had disappeared into the kitchen during Mary's speech to brew some tea, re-appeared. "Mary, Charles and I both care for you and if you are feeling so ill maybe I should call the doctor."

"Would you do that Anne? Really?"

"Of course Mary. Excuse me," Anne had gone to get the tea and when she came back Mary had stationed herself on the sofa which CJ had occupied the previous day. Her sister was lying back and filled the whole sofa while one of her hands was melodramatically above her head like it belonged to a Gothic heroine. Anne set the tea down on the table and got a blanket for Mary who immediately grabbed the remote control for the television and proceeded to watch This Morning.* Then Anne remembered that she had not found Frederick's keys yesterday and so spent the next half hour hunting down the sides of sofas and the drawers of the cabinets but still she could not find them. She would have continued searching had it not been for her mobile ringing.

"Hello?"

"Anne, it's Will."

"What's up? You sound very flustered."

"I am."

"Tell me what's happened." Anne walked into the hallway and shut the door quietly so Mary would not be disturbed by the conversation, or rather would not eavesdrop.

"Remember I told you that Charles and I were going to a party?"

"Yes."

"Well between then and now I have discovered that the person I loathe the most in the world is living right across the street from Eliz- the Bennet's house."

Anne realized who it was and with a sigh replied. "George 'I wanna sleep with everyone' Wickham."

"Got it in one."

Anne had not many fond memories of George Wickham. He had been Will's friend at Cambridge** but had not been hers. She was too melancholy for his tastes and as such he had not pursued her. However he had set his sights on her room-mate Audrey. And destroyed her in the process. Audrey had got pregnant by Wickham and when Wickham discovered this he promptly denied that it was his child. Claimed Audrey was a s**t who had had most men on campus. Of course that was horrendously false but almost everyone on campus believed George as he was popular and Audrey was not. No-one knew her whereas everyone seemed to know who George Wickham was. Will had known that Wickham was lying, apparently Wickham had done the same things before but Will had stuck up for him. Not this time. After Audrey left university Wickham had lorded about and everything had been forgotten by everyone. Well almost everyone. Will and Wickham had fallen out and as such Wickham was finally free from the Darcy restraint and could do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted and with who he wanted. Will and Anne had become closer after that and soon come into the company of George Knightley who was in the final year of his medical degree. He, in turn, had invited them to his home and they had met Emma Woodhouse. The friendship was set. It saddened Anne to think that she hadn't spoken to Emma for at least a year and George not much shorter.

"Anne, are you still there?"

"Oh yeah Will. So what are you going to do?"

"What can I do? I'd love to be able to order him out of town but I can't. I mean it's not the Middle Ages any more."

"Maybe you should just sit it out. I mean if he does anything then you can try and do something but I bet that at this moment in time he's making everyone in Meryton love him."

"Probably." There were a few minutes of silence on each end of the phone before Anne heard Will take a big sigh and said good-bye.

"Anne! Anne! Anne!" The sheer volume of Mary's shrieks could be heard through the solid oak door. Anne, thinking that her sister had hurt herself, rushed back in.

Mary was sitting on the sofa trying to look out the window. "What is the matter Mary?"

"Anne open the window and call Henrietta and Louisa over would you? I am sure that they are determined to abandon me in my hour of need." Anne opened the window as Mary had instructed to do to remove the stale stench of smoke from the cigars that Charles had been smoking last night. Mary took it upon herself to shout to the Musgrove girls. Apparently she was not that sick.

"Henrietta! Louisa! Coo-eee! Where are you going?"

"We are going for a walk Mary. A very long walk."

"Well I shall join you!"

"Mary, you are sick and you hate long walks."

"Nonsense Anne, I am excessively well. And I simply adore long walks." Mary rose from the seat with an enthusiasm that shocked Anne. Mary was never keen to go on a walk. Something must be special about this one.

"Anne, will you not come as well? Please Anne we shall be ever so grateful for your company."

"If you wish it Louisa."

Soon they had all departed from the cottage and Anne was relishing the country air, even Mary's incessant chatter managed to be shut out in favour of the birds and the distant noise of tractors. They were walking down Uppercross Lane when they met two cars, one was Charles' but Anne had never seen the car following it before. It was a dark blue Aston DB9 and by the looks of it had been very expensive. Anne classed this car as 'expensive with taste'. Long ago she had devised several descriptions of cars when her father had taken it into his head to be a fanatic about cars. Unfortunately most of his cars were in the category of 'mind-blowingly expensive with absolutely no taste'. Anyway Anne had always suspected that his fanaticism with cars was really his desire to be on Top Gear*** and blab about how much money he had. Luckily the producers had been smart and not picked Sir Walter to be the Star in a Reasonably Fast Car.

The cars stopped and both drivers got out. Anne could see that the other car belonged to Frederick. He waved at Louisa and she blushed in response. Anne would have loved to have taken Louisa's reaction as a result of a twenty year old's crush but she knew that it was more than that.

"Charles, Freddie, we're going out for a walk. Would you like to join us?"

"Sure, I'd love to Lou." Louisa again blushed at the nick-name. Something very suspicious was going on. Anne did not know what though.

After the men had parked their cars in Charles' drive-way they all started off again. They were paired up, Mary and Charles, Anne and Henrietta and Louisa and Frederick. Or perhaps it should be Lou and Freddie Anne thought to herself. Realizing that she was jealous she immediately pushed the thought to one side and told herself that she would think about the possibility later. Henrietta was chatting about something that was not altogether relevant but Anne forced herself to listen. It was either listen or watch Louisa and Frederick's relationship blossom in from of her.

Behind her she heard Mary shout, "Why are we going to Winthrop? I do detest the place. It's always so dirty. I can never find a good place to sit that befits my station in life." Anne felt Henrietta tense up beside her and start to slow down. Louisa turned around and shot a warning look at Henrietta and a scornful one to Mary. Henrietta immediately began to walk at a normal pace, or even slightly faster. Charles too had speeded up and with Mary on his arm they and Henrietta had over-taken Frederick and Louisa. That couple must have thought that Anne had gone in front as well, or at least she couldn't see them, for as they approached a stile they gave each other a lingering kiss. Anne looked away and decided that there were definitely not tears in her eyes. She just had a little touch of hay-fever. That she had never had before in her life.

When she looked back Louisa had jumped down the stile and Frederick was about to follow her when he heard the noise that came from Anne's boots tramping on a twig. He whirled round. For a moment they just looked at each other and Frederick seemed almost sorry until his face broke out in a smirk. Then he jumped down.

If Anne had been allowed then she would have crumpled right there on the ground but her sense of self-preservation stopped her. She would not show Frederick how much she had been affected by that kiss. She would not show him that she was still very much in love with him.

By the time that she had mustered up enough heart to go over the stile Henrietta, Louisa and Charles were all heading down to Winthrop. Mary looked decidedly put out while Frederick just looked bored. Must be missing Lou. No one had even asked her if she wanted to go. They stood in silence until Mary's phone began to ring. She picked it up and started complaining to whoever it was on the other end.

Frederick approached Anne when he figured that no-one else would hear their conversation. "I think that Henrietta and her boyfriend fell out last night. Too much alcohol, you know."

"Alcohol is bad for a person's behaviour."

"Is that why you never drank Anne? You want everyone to think that you're a saint? Then why did you drink last night?"

"I was- It's none of your business why I drank last night Frederick."

"Can you even remember what happened last night?"

"Of course I can," she lied.

"No, I don't think many of us can. I remember though."

"Do you?"

"I do." He laughed bitterly to himself. "Funny words those. Different situation they could have meant something very different."

"How often do you play tennis?" She knew that she was rather obviously changing the topic but at that moment she didn't care.

"Every day. As always."

"And Wimbledon?"

Another voice joined their conversation. "Oh Freddie says that he'll definitely win Wimbledon this year."

"Yes Louisa. I will. Shall we go for a walk? Just you and me?"

"Of course. Perhaps you could tell me more about you. Like you did last night." As they walked away Anne was left with the distinct and fairly sickening thought that they were not talking about tennis.

Mary had finished her phone call and now was looking for somewhere to sit. There were a few old bits of garden furniture which should have done quite well but Mary would not sit on someone else's rubbish. Then Anne suggested a tree stump a few metres away. Mary didn't like that either but when Anne sat down she immediately claimed her sister's seat as her own. Anne gave her seat to Mary and drifted away over to the hedges. She knew that Frederick and Louisa had gone in that direction and told herself that that was not the reason why she had come over there. The she heard muffled gasps. She guessed that it was the couple. As she began to move away she stopped when she heard her name.

"Anne!" It was from Frederick and he was out of breath and sounded full of need.

"Pardon Freddie?"

"Louisa ... You were telling me something about Anne. Weren't you?"

"Freddie!!" Louisa whined. Obviously she didn't think that this conversation merited he interruption. However Frederick mustn't have returned her remorse as she began speaking in a more controlled manner. "Well, if you really want to hear, Anne and Charles used to go out about five-six years ago and even though it wasn't that serious mum and dad always wanted them to marry. They still wish that Charles had married Anne instead of Mary. So do I. They were great together and I'm sure Charles loved her but Lady Russell probably put a stop to any of Anne's affections for my brother. Probably wasn't good enough for him. I hate Lady Russell so much. All she does is interfere."

Mary called out that Henrietta and Charles were back and that she wanted to go home right away. They all came back down to where Mary was and paired off again. This time Henrietta was with Henry Hayter, her long-time boyfriend, and the odd numbers meant that Anne walked on her own. Soon she was extremely tired but supposed that looking after a 'sick' Mary and having to deal with her ex and his new girlfriend did that to a person. No-one seemed to notice though.

An engine was heard and the Crofts' Land Rover came into view. They rolled down the windows and offered a lift to anyone who was tired. No-one took them up on this offer. Frederick was not tired, the other men would not let their pride be dented so much as to take up a lift when the women would not, Henrietta and Louisa did not want to leave their partners, Mary was put-out at not having been asked first and Anne did not want to be a trouble to anyone. The Crofts were about to drive away when Frederick approached the vehicle and whispered something to his sister.

"Anne you are tired, I'm sure. Come we must take you home."

"How about to the café, Sophy? We'll all meet up at Willow's after we've finished."

"Of course Frederick." Anne was about to refuse when Frederick took her by the hand and led her to the back of the Land Rover. When she looked up at him questioningly he explained that his sister and George had filled the back seats up with all sorts of monstrosities and that there was a seat at the back of the car but it was in the boot. He opened the door and hoisted her up into the Land Rover. The touch of his hands made her tremble and grow very warm. Then he shut the door and Anne found that the vehicle was moving.

She heard the Crofts talking about Frederick and Louisa but could not give them her full attention. While her mind was pre-occupied the Crofts stopped at the café and Anne found herself being bid good-bye to.

She did not wait long in the café for the others. George Croft's driving was excessively slow and so they had been going just slightly quicker than the walkers. She was sitting with a hot chocolate when everyone came in. It was a blurry of sighs and exclamations about the British summer and how one ought not to go for a long walk if one's feet are already sore. Frederick glanced at Anne's choice of beverage, grimaced then went to one of the computers that the café had.

A few minutes later they all heard Frederick chuckling and turned to see what the source of his amusement was.

"I just got an e-mail from my best mate Tim Harville. He was a tennis player but got injured and has never been able to play again. He's really funny too, never let's anything get him down. Charles, would a flight be available from here to Florence? That's where he's living now."

"I'm sure it would. You going visiting then?"

"Yeah. I don't get much free time and I haven't seen Harville in what seems like donkey's years."

"Can we come too Freddie?"

"If Charles' lets you Lou, then you can."

"I think it'll be great fun. I've never been to Italy before and I can easily book a couple of weeks off work and Henrietta and Louisa are on holiday from university. Plus it'll be a great going-away present for Anne. She has to go to Bath before she starts teaching again."

Soon it was all decided. They would go to Florence. The only thought that was running through Anne's mind was that this was going to be one very awkward holiday.

Author's Notes

*This Morning is a daytime show in Britain. It's really quite good but it's the kind of thing that I think Mary would watch. Note: I do not own This Morning.

**Upon remembering that Darcy and Wickham went to Cambridge and not Oxford I have changed Lizzy and Darcy's universities around. Lizzy now studies Law at Oxford while Darcy studied Law at Cambridge.

***Top Gear is a car programme which is on the BBC. It is hosted by Jeremy Clarkson, R9chard Hammond and James May who all have differing opinions on what cars are good and which one's aren't. The Star in a Reasonably Fast Car is a feature which involves a famous person taking the standard car around the Top Gear racing circuit and seeing which celebrity is the fastest (all the times from all the series' are put on a leader-board). At this moment - apart from Damon Hill and Mark Webber the Formula One drivers - first and second are comedian Jimmy Carr and Simon Cowell respectively. Note: I do not own Top Gear.

Chapter 7

Posted on Wednesday, 28 September 2005

Anne tried in vain to remind herself if why holidays were good ideas. There was all the stress of packing (she did Charles and Mary's clothes as well as her own), of attempting to get to the airport on time and the tedium that waiting for a plane became. As she sat in the airport looking around her, a magazine lying open on her lap, she was reminded more forcefully of why holidays with ex-partners were definitely not the best idea one could have. Louisa and Frederick were in a very heavy make-out session. Of course Anne wanted to believe that she was offended by the very public nature of their activities but could not fool herself that her morals would leave such an ache in her heart.

"Anne, I'm going to die with this heat. It's far too warm. Oh Anne!"

"Mary, it's not that hot. Do you want me to get you a drink from the venders?" Anne would give anything to escape from the vicinity of 'Freddie and Lou'.

"Oh Anne you're such a darling! What would I do without you?"

Anne wanted dreadfully to mutter something back but was prevented doing this by an announcement over the speakers. "Would all passengers on Flight 1825 to Florence please come to the departure gate. All passengers on Flight 1825 to Florence to the departure gate."

"We all ready to go? Mary have you got your sleeping pills? Louisa, Henrietta get your things together. Anne you got the tickets?"

"Yes Charles."

Everyone seemed to rush to the gate while Anne lagged behind carrying Mary's incredibly large hand luggage which had been forgotten when she got up. Of course it wasn't deliberate. Meanwhile Anne's own bag was rather precariously hanging on her arm. The strap began to dig in. Then suddenly Mary's bags were lifted from her arms, as she looked up she was astonished to see Frederick smiling down at her. "I'll take these."

"Thanks."

After a pause he asked Anne, "Is your sister always like that?"

"Mary? Well she can be a little melodramatic at times but I suppose it depends on how you were brought up. She had less time with mum than I did, must have affected her more than I thought." Anne shrugged to show her uncertainty.

"Anne I've never believed any of that s***-"

"Frederick! Don't swear."

"Yes Mistress Anne," he teased her. It was something which he had sometimes said to her when she was feeling especially moral. It made her go back to the olden days. "Anyway, Betsy had more time than you did and as I recall she was full of self-importance. I believe that it's all about you and what choices you make in your life. All this stuff about fate's complete nonsense. Your sisters are like they are because they chose to be like that."

"Perhaps."

They were nearing the departure gate. Anne caught sight of the rest of their party some twenty people away and was strangely relieved that she had already given them their tickets. "I just love airport queues don't you Frederick?"

"Oh definitely Anne. It's just amazing, and so enthralling." They both burst out in laughter and Anne realized that this was the first 'normal' conversation they'd had since the break-up. Apparently Frederick realized that too because he sobered up. Or it could have been because Louisa shot him a look that said 'what are you doing laughing without me?' Either way they both turned serious again.

Eventually they got through the departure gate, caught up with the rest and made their way to the departure lounge. There seemed to be lots of people going on their flight. Half an hour later they were called to board the plane and when they got on it she found herself, because of the seat numbers on the tickets, squashed beside Frederick and a random guy who she didn't know but was really good-looking. Frederick seemed in no mood to make conversation so Anne brought out her magazine and started to read. She got to page ten before she was interrupted.

"Excuse me, have we met before?"

"Pardon?" It was the man who had spoken to her.

"I think I remember seeing you somewhere before." Anne thought she heard Frederick snort but when she peeked round he was lying with his eyes closed, seemingly sleeping. She must be imagining things. Not a good sign.

"Do you?"

"Were you ever if France?" Anne was puzzled but answered in the affirmative. "Two years ago? In Paris?"

"Yes."

"In a café? You bumped into someone. Do you remember?"

Anne remembered all right as it was a particularly traumatic experience seeing Frederick for the first time since their parting. She did recall bumping into someone. A person who had extraordinary eyes. She looked at this man, he had the strangest eyes as well. "I do!" She exclaimed loudly.

"I'm so glad. I wasn't sure you would remember. I heard that the group of people that you were sitting with met a famous tennis player. Can't remember which one though." Anne nodded, willing herself not to look at the other person sitting beside her. "I'm William Elliot by the way. And you are?"

"Anne Elliot. We seem to share the same surname. I don't think that we're related though."

"No. And I am glad that we are not." He was staring at her intently. She blushed, unused to such attention of that nature besides from Frederick. Said person appeared to be in a very sound sleep. The flight lasted nearly four hours, with missing passengers taking up the first half hour getting on the plane. They flew over the Alps and Anne was obliged to look over William's shoulder to see the view clearly. He leaned back and let her look. They were close. And at that moment Frederick chose to wake up. Anne nearly jumped as he tapped her on the shoulder.

"Didn't miss anything did I?"

"Nope. Well apart from the usual shenanigans that accompanies the Musgroves. Oh this is William Elliot. William this is Frederick," she looked at him as if unsure to give William his surname. Frederick nodded, "Frederick Wentworth."

"Nice to meet you Freddie."

"It's Frederick Mr. Elliot."

"Ever so sorry Frederick. I'll be more careful in future."

The attempt at conversation was cut short when Anne heard Mary screaming two rows behind her. "Oh get away from me you stupid a*** of a husband. You don't give a flying f*** about me or our children. All you've ever wanted is to get into Anne's-"

"Mary be quiet for G**'s sake. You're embarrassing. And very drunk. I'm beginning to suspect that you're nothing but a lush."

During this interaction Anne had not been sitting idle. Once she heard Mary she got up and sidled past Frederick. Now she was standing beside Mary and gently holding her arm. "Mary come on, let's go to the toilets. Give Charles some time to think over what he said." Anne really was angry at her brother-in-law. There was no excuse for humiliating his wife in public, she couldn't help if she had an alcohol problem.

Mary resisted at the start but soon her strength failed her and she fell limply at Anne's shoulder. "Oh Anne. Sometimes I just don't know what to do." It was a genuine statement and Anne was not sure whether she should be more surprised or lying faint on the floor with shock. She picked the former. "Come on Mary." Luckily there was no-one in the toilet. Anne had always hated aeroplane toilets as they were so cramped and the door had to stay open to fit both sisters in. With a sigh Anne realized that she had forgotten her bag with all the things that Mary ever needed and was about to go back for it before she glanced in the mirror and saw her sister's face covered with tears. "Ssssh. It's going to be fine Mary. Everything'll turn out fine, just you wait and see." Mary did not reply apart from to burrow her head into her sister's shoulder.

By the time that Mary had recovered enough to go back into the rest of the plane the stewardesses had called for everyone to return to their seats and put their seatbelts on.

"Are you lot ready to come out now?" From her voice it sounded as though the stewardess was incredibly bored.

"Yes, thank-you..?"

"Lydia."

"Well thank-you for telling us."

"Whatever." The girl, who looked no older than sixteen, went back to chewing her chewing gum.

As she got back to her seat she found that William had moved to where Mary had sat. Frederick sat in his seat now and left the two nearest the aisle for them. As Anne got Mary into her seat the latter began to fall asleep and Anne didn't have the heart to wake her just yet.

"Don't worry Anne. She'll sleep it off."

"I know." She offered Frederick a weak smile which did not fool him at all.

"You don't have to be big, brave Anne all the time."

"I know."

"Let someone else bear the burden."

"I know."

"Is that all you can say?"

"No. It's just that that's the most I can say with the amount of energy I have left."

"Well just think that in less than two hours you'll be safely tucked up in bed." Obviously that wasn't the best thing that Frederick could have said to soothe her as her mind jumped from that comment to something different entirely.

"Yep."

Getting their baggage was like hell on earth. It took forever to get it off the plane and then when it was on its way to the passengers it was discovered that a lot of the suitcases had been lost, or misplaced as the airport officials said. Louisa's baggage was the only one that could not be found from their party and she seemed very put out, however Louisa being Louisa didn't complain too much.

"Guess I'll just to find something else to put on," she stated, looking at Frederick as she spoke.

Frederick paid no heed to her, he seemed much more focused on something else which Anne could not figure out what it was. They hired two cars to travel about in. The first, driven by Frederick was to have him, Anne and Mary in it and the other Charles and his sisters. It seemed as though everyone had an unspoken agreement not to force Charles and Mary together so soon after their argument. The drive was pleasant and it was amazing to see Florence lit up at night, the villa that Frederick owned was only fifteen minutes away so they soon reached it. As everyone assembled again, Frederick led the way into the house and told each other which rooms they could have. "Charles there's one first on the right for you, Mary second on your left, Henrietta and Louisa you're at the bottom of the corridor. I hope you don't mind that you're sharing." Everyone gathered their luggage and made their way to their quarters. Everyone that is except Anne and Frederick.

"Frederick, where am I to go? You're not going to abandon me in the hall are you?"

"Course not. Follow me." He began walking up the stairs and at the top was a little floor which had three doors. "This is where I sleep." he explained pointing to a door on the right, "that's the bathroom on the other side, and this," he opened the door beside his room, "this is yours."

The room was really pretty, decorated in hues of light pink and cream. It was a very feminine room to have in a bachelor's home. Still, Anne did not have the strength to wonder about it and so accepted it without question.

"Listen if anything's the matter I'm right next door." He pulled back a curtain to reveal a joining door. "Here's the key." He turned to go but before he went he stopped. "Sweet dreams Anne."

He left. She stood in the middle of the room before collapsing on the bed. Resisting the urge to fall asleep immediately she got changed and then snuggled up under the blanket. She dreamed many pleasant dreams that night and was undisturbed until about three in the morning.

It was the noise which first awakened her. It sounded as though someone was crying out. Thinking that it was Mary again Anne got up and walked out of the room. However she soon discovered that it was not coming from Mary's room. In fact it was coming from Frederick's. She stood there for a good ten minutes before plucking up the courage to knock on the door. When she did she received no answer so opened the door, struck with fear that something might have happened to Frederick, and glanced in.

She shouldn't have done it in the first place. Totally inappropriate. And anyway she should have just gone straight back out again and not have stood as she was doing now.

However Anne could not help but be frozen to the spot.

She knew it had been coming, knew what had happened, but that knowledge had left her unprepared for the sight that she was greeted with.

Louisa Musgrove was lying in Frederick's arms.

Chapter 9

Posted on Wednesday, 12 October 2005

After they had finished mutilating songs in the pub, the whole group decided to take a walk in the balmy night air. Paddy Harville knew his way around well but his leg was playing up so he and his wife returned home to their children. Benwick stayed with them, seemingly relieved to be in new company. Anne was uncertain how to talk to him as he seemed permanently withdrawn but knew that she had to include him or else things would only get worse. So she ended up with Anthony on one side and Will on the other. The latter was occasionally glancing back at Frederick who had chosen to take up the rear on his own. When Anne looked at Will she saw that he had a smug expression on his face while Frederick had a murderous one. Louisa and Henrietta were gossiping away at the front while the reconciled husband and wife sauntered along in silence.

"Anthony, do you enjoy living here? I mean, I'm not sure I could handle it permanently - too hot for me." He looked up as if surprised that she was talking to him. The melancholic expression vanished slightly but there was still a dull ache in his eyes which saddened Anne. She hoped that he would find someone else to love.

"Yes I do like living in Italy. The culture is so much more relaxed here than in England. I often read just on that bench." He pointed to a small seat which faced marvelous gardens. "I find that it's easier to understand what the poets are saying when you surroundings are so pleasant."

"I can see what you're getting at. To go to Florence and read Elizabeth Barret Browning's poems must be wonderful. I always like to imagine that I could be following the footsteps of these great people."

"You read her poems?" The implication You read poetry? was evident and Anne smiled and replied that she did.

"I was an English teacher."

"Was?"

"I suppose I still am. The school I worked at wasn't very popular or lucrative and the government closed it down. I'm going to try and look for a position for next year."

At this point Will interrupted. "So you both read poetry, hmm? You must be kindred spirits."

Anne laughed, the noise carrying as the night was still. "Will you have read far too many 'Anne of Green Gables' books. Honestly I am starting to worry!" Will threw his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close.

"You, my little friend, are very annoying at times."

"At least I didn't tell them about the time you and George Knightley dressed up in drag," she caught his scowl, "Ooops. Sorry!"

"You'll pay Annie!" He reached out for her but she evaded his grasp and ran towards the gardens. He followed her and attempted to catch her without much success. He had been stuck in an office to long and wouldn't lower himself to run at full force which would result in him either losing a shoe or splitting his trousers. He wouldn't risk it.

They came back a few minutes later and found that Mary, Charles, Henrietta, Louisa and Benwick had gone on. Instead there was only Frederick who, if looks could kill, would have them six feet under at that moment. Anne smiled weakly while Will just raised his eyebrows.

"Are you coming back home?" Home? To his house? Frederick's voice was sharp and cold which contrasted greatly with his eyes which were glowering at Will. The latter took the hint and told them that he may as well go home of they were going back to the house. Frederick stared at him as he moved away and his eyes narrowed when he saw Will hugging Anne goodbye.

They were alone now.

"Are you coming?" Frederick asked with hardly any emotion in his voice. Anne faced him and looked directly into his eyes.

"I'm ready if you are." They walked alone in tense silence, neither wanting to speak to the other in case they said something stupid. Eventually, ten minutes into the walk Frederick made the first move.

"How long have you known William Darcy?"

"Since university. I told everyone that."

"When?" She was confused. Did he think that she was lying to him? Surely he would never believe that of her, she may have let him down but she had never lied to him. Then maybe he didn't know her as well as she had thought. Frederick's harsh voice broke her out of her reverie.

"When for f*** sake? Was it before we met? Is that why you left me? Fancied Mr. Rich Versace Suit instead of poor humble, stupid tennis player? Was I just a phase?" He was angry, he could not help what he said but Anne felt a surge of rage pass through her. He had no right to critique her friend! No right at all!

"How dare you Frederick? Of course I didn't jilt you because of him. I thought that you knew me but obviously I was wrong. Maybe I was right in putting an end to everything!"

"Come off it Anne! We both know that Susan Russell would recommend him as a potential husband - and it appears that hers is the only opinion you consider." They were both shouting now. It was only the second time that they had ever had a slanging match like that.

"I can't believe you're still blaming Susan! It was my choice, I take responsibility for it. And maybe I should question you over your devotion! All you have done since we met again is be hot and cold towards me. What am I meant to think? Just the other night you gave me the room beside your own and then proceeded to sleep with Louisa. You are despicable Frederick Wentworth! Did you just want to hurt me?" She had tears in her eyes but she would be damned if she let him see them so she tried not to blink so that they wouldn't run down to her cheeks. Then it registered with her that Frederick's face had changed its expression completely after she had mentioned him and Louisa. "What? Can't face the truth?"

"Anne. Anne I didn't know that you saw me and Louisa. Together. Believe me it wasn't what it looked like." His voice was sombre and reflective.

"What, she just managed to trip and fall naked into your arms?"

"Anne please don't."

"Don't what? Frederick I am so glad that I didn't marry you. My life would have been hell. You would have cheated and it would have killed me."

"How dare you say that! I would never hurt you!" His ire was raised again.

"You'd never hurt me? You mean the way that you've flaunted your relationship with Louisa in my face and the fact that you left me? Remember that Frederick?"

"You don't know the truth."

"I was there, wasn't I? You used me and that was all that you ever wanted from me. Susan was right. Men like you only think about one thing."

"Let me explain. You owe me that."

"I owe you nothing." She started to run away but his athletic nature meant that he soon caught up with her. He pulled her to himself and saw the tears in her eyes for the first time. Shame hit him and she saw it.

"Please. Just this once and if you still hate me then I'll go. I'll never see you again if that's what you want, but just hear me out." She considered for a moment.

"Fine. But don't expect me to believe you."

Eight years ago

Frederick was standing outside her window in the rain. He was leaving the next day but he knew that he could not go without seeing his beloved one last time. He didn't have the courage though. Remembering a similar night, one after their engagement when he had serenaded her and brought her flowers, he shuddered. Things were changed and he couldn't for the life of him understand what God had allowed him to be so destroyed. Still, maybe now he would be able to focus on the faithful love in his life: tennis. He had been accepted by a top coach and he was to travel to London and get settled in. However he knew that no matter what success he might have, wherever he played, he would always look up into the stands and hope that she was there cheering him on. It would never happen though. More than likely, whenever he became successful she would be married with 2.4 kids. And not to him. Probably to some rich bloke whose entire wardrobe came from the fashion houses. Someone completely unlike him.

He saw the light come on in her room and her figure silhouetted in it. She seemed to fall down. She wasn't getting up and Frederick was worried that something had happened to her. He climbed up the trellis and onto her balcony with a strength that he didn't know he possessed. After what seemed like an age he was outside the door that led into her room. Frederick grabbed the handle and miraculously the door opened. She hadn't locked it. Then again it had been open the last time he came here. Drenched and shivering he let himself into her room. She was lying on the floor, her whole body heaving and he could hear her loud sobs. He wanted to run over to her and comfort her and tell her that everything would be alright.

So he did.

"Anne. Ssssh, it's okay. Don't cry my love. Please don't cry." He fell down beside her and gently embraced her, feeling the warm tears soak into his cold clothes.

"Frederick ... Oh how can you look at me? Look at what I've done." Perhaps it was only her hysteria talking but Frederick wanted to believe that her words were real so he made the next move.

He moved away slightly and she looked up at him. They gazed at each other before Frederick slowly leant down and kissed her with all the love and passion and pain that he had in him. She kissed him back. Soon everything became a muddle and all that mattered was that they were together now and that nothing could come between them. That was the last thought in Frederick's mind before he lost control. All he could see was her.

The next morning, before dawn

She was sleeping peacefully. He didn't want to wake her or disturb her but he knew that he must go. He peered down at her smiling face and tried to memorize all its features, knowing that he might not see her again. He got dressed and pondered on her love for him. Surely she loved him, her behaviour last night had proved it. He wanted, no needed to see her again. A life without her seemed bleak and unforgiving. Seeing that there was paper on her desk, he grabbed a pen and wrote her a note.

Dearest Anne,

I must go but I can't leave without telling you how much I love and adore you. Last night was the closest thing I've come to heaven, in fact I think that it might actually have been to that place at some points. I know that you felt the same. Please forgive all that I said to you when ... the incident occurred. Just know that I love you. I will never love another more. Please get in touch with me, my number is ----------- and I'm going to be living at 12----- -----.

Farewell for the present,

Frederick

He read the letter over and over again. It said everything that he felt. However he was anxious. What if she just laughed at it and that he was completely wrong about her? No, he could not do it. Grabbing the letter off the desk he shoved it into the pocket of his jeans, took one last, long look at the sleeping girl, and rushed out through the French doors.

Eight years later, present time

"You didn't leave me a note."

"I know and I've regretted that ever since. I was a fool to take the letter away, but I believed that you did not love me."

"What, that I was just a slut? Surely you knew that that wasn't true."

He looked down at the ground in shame. "I do, believe me I berated myself enough for that thought afterwards though. I knew that you were a virgin but my pride and anger clouded my judgement on such matters. I'm sorry," he added in a soft voice. Anne was not going to let his sob story stop her. She did believe him, in what way would he benefit from lying, all the story did was cast a bad light on his character. But still, he had left her after she had shared everything with him, mind, body and soul. That was the cutting part.

"Do you think that I'm going to forgive you? We've both hurt each other and I can't see a way back. And you obviously don't love me any more. Good luck with Louisa. I hope you're very happy." She turned and fled back to the house.

He stood there in shock and pain and grief. He had told her the truth and she had thrown it back in his face. He felt something drop onto his face. He looked up.

With a bitter smile, he realized that it was raining.

Chapter 10

Posted on Friday, 21 October 2005

Anne was hesitant to come out of her room the next morning. She really didn't want to face Frederick now and as well as the usual awkwardness there was his revelation that he had cared when they slept together. Still, he was a complete a***. A very big one at that. She had lain awake half the night with a mixture of terror and anticipation, thinking that he would choose to use the connecting door to her room. When he didn't come it had been a relief. Of course by then it was dawn and she didn't have much time for sleep. Actually she didn't get to sleep but at eight she had gotten up and got dressed. That brought her to where she was now.

It was only half past eight.

He wouldn't be up.

So she took a risk and went out into the corridor. She could hear his snores and sighed with relief. Then Anne made her way down to the kitchen and was about to go out when she met Henrietta.

"Morning Anne. I got up early today. Louisa's really grumpy about something, probably Freddie. She stayed in our room last night you see. I don't think she was best pleased." Henrietta was nibbling on an apple and had a bottle of sun cream sitting on the outside table.

"Well, I'm sure she'll make up with him." Anne offered a very bad attempt at a smile which thankfully seemed to fool the other girl. "Do you want to go out for a walk?"

"Sure. I'm itching to get out of this house."

Anne laughed, "Me too."

They decided to take the scenic route to the park. Although it was quite early there were a number of people out enjoying the morning sun. A couple were walking through the park and enjoying the flowers and the warm weather. They looked very happy and both girls wished that in years to come they could have happiness like that. Another girl, about Louisa's age, cam running up to them and they greeted her with affection. Was she their daughter? No, the woman was too young to have a daughter that age. Anne wondered who it was but she was determined not to be nosy. Henrietta however wasn't and when they came closer to the other party she began speaking to them.

"Lovely morning isn't it?"

The woman looked at Henrietta and smiled. "Yes it is. I used to live here when I was a little girl, my father was Italian and my mother English."

"I'd like to live here but I'd miss my friends. Oh, I'm Henrietta by the way."

"Madeline Gardiner, it's nice to meet you. This is my husband Edward and our niece Lizzy."

"Oh I knew she wasn't your daughter! This is Anne, my friend."

"Hello." Anne was often shy in front of strangers but these people seemed so nice that she could not help but speak. Madeline seemed really friendly and the other two appeared likewise. As Madeline, Henrietta and Edward got into a conversation Anne found herself talking to Lizzy.

"How long have you been in Italy?"

"Two weeks nearly my aunt and uncle let me come with them and I didn't exactly refuse their offer." The girl smiled and Anne smiled back. "Henrietta seems nice. She reminds me of one of my sisters."

"One?"

"I have four sisters. Imagine the queue for the bathroom!"

Four sisters? Why did that sound familiar. Wait a minute. Lizzy, four sisters, English. Now Anne could be completely off the mark here, goodness knows there were probably lots of Lizzy's with four sisters who lived in England, but could it possibly be Will's Lizzy?

"I get on best with my sister Jane. She's a miracle worker at times."

Hang on. That was too much of a coincidence and Anne didn't believe in those at the best of times. Poor Will. Lizzy seemed exactly the type of girl he would go for and if he loved her like he said he did and she didn't feel the same... Anne could imagine extremely well how devastated he was. "I have two other sisters. We're not that close though."

"Oh I'm sorry to hear that. I firmly believe that one must have a confidant and friend who can not desert you and that should be a sister." Lizzy smirked a little. "That way they can never abandon you as you are inextricably linked by blood. Although sometimes I wonder about the wisdom of such a thing."

Then there was the sound of footsteps and Lizzy turned round at once to see who it was. She gasped and when Anne looked she knew exactly why. Will Darcy was approaching them, or rather had been approaching them with only a pair of swimming trunks on him and a towel which was slung over his shoulder. If Anne had been anyone other than a long time friend of him she would have been severely attracted to him but Will had never attracted her in the first place. He didn't seem to do anything for her.

However he seemed to be doing something for Lizzy!

She was frozen to the spot and no matter how hard she tried she could not take her eyes off him. Will appeared to be equally awe-struck by the sight of her here and all that they could manage between them was stilted hellos and polite inquiries. So Anne was right! This was the famed Lizzy Bennet who had reduced her best friend to virtually nothing. Anne was angry. However the two seemed to be getting along quite well if you ignored the awkwardness and she was willing to let them work everything out. She would not interfere.

"I'll leave you now Will. It was nice meeting you Lizzy." She received distant goodbyes and as she returned to Henrietta and the Gardiners she could not help but let a faint smile grace her lips. Perhaps things could work out. If only Emma was here then she would have plenty of match-making advice!

"Who's that Lizzy's talking to?"

"I think it's Will Darcy, isn't it Anne? He and Anne went to Cambridge together."

"Well I better see what's happening. See what Lizzy's getting up to. I hope we'll see you soon."

"I do too Madeline. Bye!"

Although Henrietta wanted to loiter and see what was going on Anne dragged her off with the promise that they would return and see Will later. Henrietta was not to be discouraged in her quest for information. "Anne is there some sort of relationship between Will and Lizzy? Wouldn't it be so romantic if there had been a dreadful misunderstanding between them and they met here and reconciled?"

"Henrietta you read far too many romantic novels."

"Oh Anne don't be so hard. I know you like a good romance as well as I do. It's in a woman's blood."

"If you say so."

Henrietta stopped and made Anne halt as well, then she looked Anne straight in the eye as if to scare a confession out of her. "Anne stop putting up that front and start living your dreams. Haven't you ever loved somebody?"

"I think that this is neither the time nor the place for such a discussion. We should be getting back home now." Anne began to move away and Henrietta followed.

"Home? Is that because Freddie's there?"

Anne whirled round and gazed at Henrietta in surprise and astonishment. "What ...How can ... Frederick loves Louisa. It would be foolish if I had any feelings for him."

"Just because it's foolish doesn't mean it's not true. There's definitely something between you. I can feel it and so can Louisa. That's why she's been in such a horrible mood lately."

"That's absurd! Frederick and I are not together anymore!" Anne stopped suddenly and put her hand to her mouth. She couldn't believe she'd just admitted a past relationship with him to his girlfriend's sister. "Promise me you won't tell anybody. You mustn't."

"I won't. Don't worry."

Henrietta took Anne's arm and led her back to Frederick's home. Anne had just about recovered when they arrived back and so was able to talk enough to offer morning greetings with some semblance of calmness. She caught sight of Henrietta gazing first at her then at Frederick and raising her eyebrows slightly. Her heart started to beat ten to the dozen again. Frederick kept looking at her as well. Anne was unaccustomed to being watched by one person, let alone two, that while she was making her breakfast she almost knocked over the cereal box, spilt a cup of tea and nearly sent a plate crashing to the floor. Mary walked in as the tea was spilt.

"Oh Anne can't you do something. I've got this enormous headache."

"I'm sorry Mary. I'm a little out of it today."

"Oh you'll never guess what happened today." Henrietta quickly changed the subject and soon everyone's eyes apart from Frederick's were on her. He was still staring at Anne. "You remember Will don't you?" Frederick's forehead started developing lines as he frowned. "Well we met him in that garden today - or rather Anne did." The wrinkles became more pronounced. "He was only in his swimming trunks." The eyes became intensely jealous. "And we met a family. And this girl knew him. I think that they had some sort of tragic romance but Anne says I'm being immature."

"I didn't say immature."

"Not in so many words."

Frederick butted in to the conversation. "He has a girl?"

"He might do. I mean he has.. She's different. I think he likes that in a woman." Frederick gazed at Anne as she spoke and Anne could not help but sink into the now calm eyes.

"Why don't we go for a walk?" Louisa interjected.

Despite having already been out on a walk that morning Anne consented to go. She'd had the feeling that if she had refused then Frederick would have stayed as well and that would only have created even more of an uproar than there already was. Anne believed in self-preservation and she was determined to follow it. However now Frederick and Louisa seemed reconciled and so did Charles and Mary. Henrietta was walking alongside Anthony Benwick and seemed content to chat with him. As they approached a set of steps which led them up to higher ground a man was walking the other way. Anne instantly recognized who it was. It was William Elliot! He was decked out in designer clothes and expensive looking sunglasses: exactly as he had been on the plane. Only with glasses.

"Anne! How nice to meet you again. I've been longing to see you and I'm so glad that I have now. My, my you look gorgeous. The sun does wonders for you. No bikini lines I see."

Frederick was standing right behind her and must have looked menacing because William Elliot suddenly stopped paying her uncomfortable comments. The latter's gaze turned cold and the sides of his mouth which had been tugged up in a smile were now set into a straight line. "Pleasure I'm sure, Frederick."

"Elliot."

"Well I'd better be off. I'd like to meet up with you soon Anne. Maybe we should have a tête-à- tête sometime. I'm very desirous to see what you've got. On your mind that is. Here's my number. Ring me."

He sauntered away before Anne could reply. Obviously the others hadn't heard his comment because they were climbing up the steps. Only Frederick had been privy to it. "Are you going to ring up that sleaze-bag then?"

"That is none of you business."

"I know. And I'm sorry for it. I only wish that I hadn't been so stupid as to give up on you eight years ago. By now you would have been my wife. Maybe even the mother to my children." The sincere tone in his voice made Anne soften for a moment, but only a moment.

"If we'd have gotten married you might never have fallen in love with Louisa."

"I'm not in love with Louisa. Never have been. Neither's she, all she wants is a quick roll in the hay."

The next thing either of them heard was the sound of her hand slapping his cheek.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that- I mean - Oh God." She began to cry and he instantly took her in his arms and all of a sudden it was like it had been all those years ago and neither of them could feel anything else but the other. Frederick breathed in the scent of her perfume for the first time in a long while and Anne returned to the only real safe haven that she had found. In his arms.

"Sssh. Don't cry. I deserved it. Sssh. God I've been such a jerk." He hugged her tighter to him and she let herself be pulled towards his chest. "Are you okay? Mentally I mean."

"I'm not taking the anti-depressants anymore if that's what you mean. I'm doing therapy instead. Apparently it's very popular at the moment." Her voice was muffled into his shirt and he could not help but chuckle at her comment which made her head jerk up from his chest. "What's so funny?"

"Let me guess. It's your sister and father who talked you into it."

"No. I chose myself. I've grown up a lot since.."

"So have I. Probably not for the better though."

"I would agree." At this frank statement he started and Anne pulled away from him. Obviously he had expected her to disagree. "You're not the Frederick I fell in love with. I hope to God that it's only a front because I would hate it if you had turned into some kind of womanising rake."

"Rake? Anne the last time anyone used the word rake was when females were running around in petticoats and men were wearing glorified leggings."

"Player then. That sound more 21st Century?"

"Definitely." He grinned at her before his expression turned serious again. "Do you really think that I'm that sort of a guy? I don't mean to be but sometimes you've just got to take things as you get them."

"Frederick, promise me one thing."

"Anything."

"Promise me that you'll look at your behaviour with women and if you find that you're living a lie then try and reform. However if that creature is really what you are and I have been wrong all these years then get the hell away from me before we're both ruined."

Anne ran up the steps and out of sight.

After they had explored what else the little village had to offer they turned back in the direction they had came. This time there was no William Elliot waiting to stir things up and no dreadful heart to heart with Frederick. The only thing preventing them from returning sooner was Louisa who seemed to have inherited a somewhat childish streak today and refused to go down the steps unless she jumped and Frederick caught her.

"Catch me Freddie!" She cried as she jumped down the first time and Frederick caught her successfully if not comfortably. However she was not content and demanded for the exercise to be repeated. It was and everyone thought that that would be an end to it.

It wasn't.

As Frederick was moving away from the steps Louisa ran back up them and proceeded to hurl herself down from them.

Frederick ran.

She was falling.

He was getting closer.

She was falling faster and faster.

He was less than a metre away.

Her body landed on the stone pathway with a thump.

Chapter 11

Posted on Sunday, 30 October 2005

Everyone was in a state of shock. Louisa was lying on the path, unmoving and seemingly unconscious. The sight was so wrong: Louisa was always the lively go-getter of the Musgrove family and to see her as anything else was strange. Anne appeared to be the only one capable of thought or action as everyone else - even Frederick - was frozen to the spot. Then she heard Frederick's voice and it spurred herself and Charles into action.

"Help! What am I going to do?" The agony evident on his face was enough for even Anne to almost forgive his past behaviour and actions. Maybe he did care for Louisa and it would take this accident to bring them together. Anne hoped the opposite and realized that the stubbornness which existed in both their characters would only split them up eventually.

"Frederick, leave her on the ground! We don't know what injuries she has suffered. It could cause her even more pain." He looked at her without the intensity or, if she could call it that, lust which had been present in his eyes since they had met again. The only thing that Anne could see in them was despair. And it tore her apart. She knew that if there was anything she could do to help him suffer less then she would, no matter what the consequences for herself were.

"Right. What do we do know?"

To be truthful Anne did not have a clue and was relying on common sense to get herself and Louisa through this experience. "We need to get her to hospital as soon as possible."

Frederick took out his mobile before Anne, realizing that he did not have the foggiest about what to do, told him to give the phone over to Benwick. She recalled that yesterday he had spoken perfect Italian, far better than hers. And it would give him something to do, the fact that he was the only person in the group not intimately connected with Louisa would serve him well. He should not be too affected. Antony took the phone which Frederick had shoved in his hands, dialled a number and said something too fast for Anne to make it out. This was why she had given up Italian at GCSE and decided on French instead.

Let it not be presumed that Mary or Henrietta were as calm and collected as Anne was on this occasion. On the contrary, Mary had gone into hysterics the moment that Louisa had fallen and Henrietta, while not so vocal about her fear as her sister-in-law, was staring at her sister's body with a look of sheer terror. For a fleeting moment Anne felt jealous at such sisterly concern. She knew fine well that had it been she who had fallen and her family had been there, Mary would indeed have been overwhelmed but her sister and father would just make some comment about how ugly a scar the fall would leave and how her blood was ruining the beauty of the stone. Such a delightful family she had! Mary was now being comforted somewhat by her husband however his methods were not successful, after all he wasn't feeling too happy himself. Henrietta seemed to have been forgotten and Anne went over to her and pulled her into a hug, she could feel that the younger girl had frozen and it pained her deeply. Antony Benwick had ran up to meet the ambulance and Frederick was still kneeling down beside Louisa, brushing her hair with his fingers ever so gently so that he would not hurt her more.

Five minutes later sirens were heard and Anne was eternally grateful for them. Not only was the noise a sign of help for Louisa but Anne was not sure that she could take anymore of this wretched silence that they all seemed to have descended into - even Mary. The paramedics came, checked Louisa's injuries, said something to Antony that Anne vaguely recognized, and soon the injured girl was being put into the ambulance. Charles and Benwick got in as well.

"Oh Anne I don't want to go to the hospital. They are always so dull and full of sick people. I do not wish to catch some dreadful disease." This unfeeling remark from her sister had Anne ashamed and she instinctively glanced at Frederick and saw his mouth curl in contempt. He was comforting Henrietta now.

"I'm going to the hospital. I must. Henrietta do you wish to go as well?"

"Yes. Although I'm not sure if I'll be up to it."

"I'll take Mary home Frederick. Call the house if there's any news. Please." Anne pleaded with Frederick to let Mary and herself go. He relented and without speaking gave them consent to leave. Thankfully the walk wasn't long and Mary had recovered some of her strength by the time they reached Frederick's home. However as soon as she entered the hall she announced to Anne that she was dreadfully tired and anyway it was not her position to wait for news of Louisa. Anne brought her to her room and when she came back Mary was already sleeping. Just as she was about to return to the living room she caught sight of something shiny just behind a pile of books which Mary had intended upon reading here. As quietly as she could Anne removed the top few and pulled out, what turned out to be, a bottle. It was nearly empty with only a dribble of vodka left in the bottom. Anne sighed. It was clear that Mary's drinking habit had gotten worse. What could she do?

What the course of action was for the moment was easy enough to determine. Anne walked to the kitchen and dumped the bottle into the bin. A wave of fatigue hit her then and to prevent herself from falling asleep she made some coffee. The cup was nearly empty when the phone rang and Anne immediately grabbed it.

"Hello?"

"Anne." It was Frederick.

"What's going to happen? Is she alright?"

Anne heard him taking a deep breath on the other end of the phone and then sighing. "She's in a coma now but the doctors seem to think that she'll wake up. Sometime or other."

"Has she any other-"

"No, nothing else is the matter with her. A few cuts and bruises but that's to be expected."

"Of course. How are Charles and Henrietta coping?"

"They're not. Musgrove's trying to hold it together, Henrietta's caught up in her own world. Anne," his voice broke and he paused for a minute, "I don't know what to do."

"It'll be alright Frederick. I promise. Just try and get through this and be strong for Louisa. That's all any of us can do."

"Thank you." He sounded sincere and Anne had to wipe a tear from her eye.

"Bye."

"Bye."

Anne put the phone back on its stand and looked around the kitchen. She was so tired and drained and tearful. Everything was all so confusing now. Before Italy it was planned out that Frederick and Louisa would be together, Mary and Charles would always stay together - no matter how much they argued - and that she would be the one to look after Walter and CJ. Now the whole world had changed and Anne, for once in her life, was terrified.

The first thing she became aware of was that she was being shaken. The second that a light had been turned on and the third that a man was calling her with a gentle voice. As she opened her eyes she saw Frederick standing above her with concern etched in his face. His hand was resting on her back and he sat down beside her.

"Morning sleepy-head."

"Morning. It's morning?"

He gave a little laugh at her confusion. "It's six am which most people do consider as morning."

She came to her senses and then wondered why he was doing here. Surely nothing had happened with regards to Louisa? She lifted her head of the table and put her arms back by her side. God her neck was stiff. Maybe falling asleep on the kitchen table wasn't such a marvellous option. "How's Louisa?" Frederick's face lost its amusement and he frowned.

"No change. The doctors say that we should bring her some clothes and essentials and anything which will remind her of her life. Musgrove sent me back to get them. Truth be told, I couldn't stay there much longer. I hate hospitals and being unable to do anything to help. I felt like a fool sitting there with the same cup of coffee for seven hours. All I kept thinking was that there had to be some way to be of use. But there wasn't."

"I know. When mum died we didn't have to wait in a hospital for her but Mary was in the car as well. The doctors were keeping her in intensive care and we didn't know if she'd survive. I remember waiting in this little relatives room on my own and wondering what I would do if I lost her and mum. Susan was there but she was grieving too. I lived in that hospital that week and until Mary was released I never felt that everything was going to be alright. I kept expecting some doctor to come and tell me that she was dead and I was numb. Completely numb, not even scared."

"I didn't know that Mary was in the accident as well."

"Mum had picked her up from town and they were on their way home."

"Is that why you take all that rubbish from her and never let her down? Because you're scared of going through the pain again?"

He knew her far too well. She nodded and he pulled her towards him. Neither of them spoke until Mary could be heard snoring slightly upstairs. Anne smiled. "See, she's my sister and all that I really have left. I can't desert her." She felt Frederick nod and then asked, "Do you want me to get some of Louisa's stuff together? I'm sure you need a rest."

"Thank you."

Anne hurried to Louisa's bedroom and grimaced at the mess. The Musgrove sisters weren't exactly the tidiest people on earth. She took Louisa's bag out from under the bed and began searching for anything which might be of use to her. Anne gathered up underwear and nightclothes and toiletries before stopping. Maybe music. She'd heard somewhere, she didn't know if it was true or not, that music helped some coma victims to wake. As she was looking for CDs she accidentally knocked a box down and it landed on the floor. Anne reached down and began putting everything which had fallen out of it back inside. She was nearly finished when she came across a smaller box. As she turned it over she saw that it was a pregnancy test kit. Anne chucked it back into the box in a vain attempt to not think of the reasons why it had been there. Unfortunately things don't work like that. As she zipped the bag up she wondered what sort of a father Frederick would make to Louisa's baby. Did he even know yet? Then she thought of the worst possible scenario. What if Louisa had lost the baby in the fall? Calm down Anne! She might not even have been pregnant. There's no good to be had imagining the worst. No matter what she felt for Frederick there was no way that Anne could not be sad for the possible loss of life here. She knew instinctively that any child of Frederick and Louisa's would be loved so much and doted upon that it would grow up to be quite spoiled.

She decided that she needed to get out of the room and as she jogged back to the kitchen she found Frederick staring into the bin.

"Anne, why is there an empty vodka bottle in here?"

"I don't drink Frederick so don't say it like that."

"You might have started. Shock does that to people."

"I do not, have not and will never drink alcohol, okay!"

"Then whose is it?"

Anne found herself getting angry and frustrated at his questions. She did not want to admit the continued problems her sister had to a man who barely knew her. "Leave it alone Frederick."

"Is it Mary's?"

"Why would you think that?"

"It doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out that Mary is, or is extremely close to being, an alcoholic. At every party I've been to with her I never see her without a drink in her hand, actually I've never seen her fully sober. And on the plane. I heard what she and Musgrove were saying to each other."

"Well it's none of your business."

"Anne."

"Look, just take this stuff to the hospital and see how Louisa is." She shoved the bag into his arms and he seemed shocked at her behaviour. "Leave Mary alone."

"Fine. I'll be back later." He walked to the front door then he turned around. "Anne she needs help." Anne just stood there in silence until he went out and then crumpled onto the floor and leaning on the wall. What was happening? Surely this wasn't the way things were meant to be? Then she realized that this was reality and no matter how much she wished she was living in a dream-world, every single event which took place only seemed to contradict that hope.

It was after dinner when Frederick, Henrietta and Charles returned. Mary had sobered up enough to help Anne make the meal and they were sitting on the sofas in the lounge. Frederick came in first, followed by Charles who was supporting Henrietta. Henrietta asked Anne if she could use her room tonight and Anne agreed. It wouldn't be fair on the girl to have to be reminded of the once vibrant and now comatose Louisa. Charles sat down beside his wife and Frederick beside Anne.

"Mum and Dad need to be told of Louisa's accident. And it can't be done over the phone."

"I'll do it." Frederick seemed determined to do whatever he could to ease the load on Charles and make himself useful. Anne began to see the man he had been over eight years ago and there was some small glimmer of light from this. Perhaps he would see how far away from that person he had gone.

"Thank you. I can't leave Louisa. I'm sure Henrietta and Mary will be glad to get back to England." Mary didn't appear to be listening to her husband's words.

"And Anne's by far the best person to stay here. She knows exactly what to do."

Anne found herself blushing then Frederick looked at her and seemed to realize what he had said for he coloured as well. Fortunately Charles didn't notice any of this. "Of course I'll stay."

Frederick excused himself and went to the bathroom. Charles and Anne started to go over the travelling details of the others. Mary cam alive at this and suddenly was surprised that she was to return home. "Oh Charles I can't leave you and Louisa here. What would people say about my capabilities as a wife and sister-in-law! No I determined to stay here and help as much as I am able. Anne can go home and look after the boys. She is after all their aunt and she is not even related to Louisa. I am." Anne and Charles tried to dissuade Mary from this course of action but to no avail. She was adamant that she should stay in Italy and that Anne should return. Charles had soon tired of arguing and had agreed to his wife's scheme. Anne knew the mistake that Mary was making here. She wouldn't help Louisa but only become a hindrance to everyone around her. However Charles was tired and would not discuss the matter any more. When Frederick came back into the room he sat down again and began to talk to Mary about the excitement that she must feel upon returning to her two sons. Mary interrupted him rudely and informed him that he was wrong.

"Pardon?"

"I'm not the one returning to Uppercross. Anne is."

"What?"

Anne knew what thought would be filling his head. It was one which was occupying her mind at that moment as well. They would be in each other's company again for a long period of time and despite Henrietta's presence something would happen.

She just didn't know what.

Continued In Next Section