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Chapter Seventeen Posted on Friday, 14 January 2005
At first light, the traveling party set off in their carriage. The trip to Derbyshire passed quickly enough. It had been some time since Elizabeth had enjoyed the company of her favorite aunt and uncle. Upon their arrival at Longbourn the evening prior to their departure, Elizabeth had allowed her family time to visit their relations. She would have the carriage ride to converse with them. So the hours flew by in their idle chatter.
As they approached Derbyshire and the road to Pemberley, her relations noted a change in her countenance. Whether it was now foreboding or awe that had caused the change, they were uncertain. She was definitely less attentive but they assumed it was in anticipation of seeing her beloved.
Elizabeth, as they drove along, watched for the first appearance of Pemberley Woods with some perturbation; and when at length they turned in at the lodge, her spirits were in a high flutter. The park was very large, and contained great variety of ground. They entered it in one of its lowest points, and drove for some time through a beautiful wood, stretching over a wide extent.
Elizabeth's mind was too full for conversation, but she saw and admired every remarkable spot and point of view. They gradually ascended for half a mile, and then found themselves at the top of a considerable eminence, where the wood ceased, and the eye was instantly caught by Pemberley House, situated on the opposite side of a valley, into which the road, with some abruptness, wound. It was a large, handsome, stone building, standing well on rising ground, and backed by a ridge of high woody hills; - and in front, a stream of some natural importance was swelled into greater, but without any artificial appearance. Its banks were neither formal, nor falsely adorned. Elizabeth was delighted. She had never seen a place for which nature had done more, or where natural beauty had been so little counteracted by an awkward taste. They were all of them warm in their admiration; and at that moment she realized that to be mistress of Pemberley might be something!
They descended the hill, crossed the bridge, and drove to the door; and, while examining the nearer aspect of the house, her anticipation of meeting its owner returned.
The housekeeper came out onto the drive on their approach; a respectable-looking, elderly woman, much less fine, and more civil, than she had any notion of finding her.
"Ah, Miss Bennet, I presume. I'm Mrs. Reynolds, the housekeeper. I knew that it would be a beautiful young lady that finally tempted my master and I see that it is so!" She was so warm and friendly, Elizabeth was almost taken aback but her concern was more about looking about for the family of the house who did not appear.
"I'm afraid I bear bad tidings. Mr. Darcy and Miss Darcy were called away by the birth of the steward's first son. They did not expect you for some time yet or I am sure that Mr. Darcy, after his pacing all morning, would have not left sight of the road. It was only after Miss Darcy insistence that they must go, that he relented. Until they return, I will show you to your rooms and give you a tour of the house if that is to your liking."
"Yes, thank you, Mrs. Reynolds, I should like that very much. Please allow me to present my uncle and aunt, Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner."
"Very pleased to meet you all, yes, very pleased."
After freshening up, they met her in the dining-parlour. It was a large, well-proportioned room, handsomely fitted up. Elizabeth, after slightly surveying it, went to a window to enjoy its prospect. The hill, crowned with wood, from which they had descended, receiving increased abruptness from the distance, was a beautiful object.
Every disposition of the ground was good; and she looked on the whole scene - the river, the trees scattered on its banks, and the winding of the valley, as far as she could trace it - with delight. As they passed into other rooms, these objects were taking different positions; but from every window there were beauties to be seen. The rooms were lofty and handsome, and their furniture suitable to the fortune of their proprietor; but Elizabeth saw, with admiration of his taste, that it was neither gaudy nor uselessly fine; with less of splendor, and more real elegance, than the furniture of Rosings.
``And of this place,'' thought she, ``I am to be mistress! With these rooms I will be familiarly acquainted!"
Her aunt now called her to look at a picture. She approached, and saw the likeness of Mr. Wickham suspended, amongst several other miniatures, over the mantelpiece. Her aunt asked her, smilingly, how she liked it. The housekeeper came forward, and told them it was the picture of a young gentleman, the son of her late master's steward, who had been brought up by him at his own expense. - ``He is now gone into the army,'' she added, ``but I am afraid he has turned out very wild.''
Mrs. Gardiner looked at her niece with a smile, but Elizabeth could not return it. Obviously, Mr. Darcy's dislike of Wickham was translated to his employees. She cannot know how Mr. Darcy wronged Wickham.
``And that,'' said Mrs. Reynolds, pointing to another of the miniatures, ``of course you know is my master - and very like him don't you agree? It was drawn at the same time as the other - about eight years ago.''
``Yes, it is very handsome.''
``I am sure I know none so handsome; but in the gallery up stairs you will see a finer, larger picture of him than this. This room was my late master's favorite room, and these miniatures are just as they used to be then. He was very fond of them.''
This accounted to Elizabeth for Mr. Wickham's being among them.
Mrs. Reynolds then directed their attention to one of Miss Darcy, drawn when she was only eight years old.
``And is Miss Darcy as handsome as her brother?'' said Mr. Gardiner.
``Oh! yes - the handsomest young lady that ever was seen; and so accomplished! - She plays and sings all day long. In the next room is a new instrument just come down for her - a present from my master.''
Mr. Gardiner, whose manners were easy and pleasant, encouraged her communicativeness by his questions and remarks; Mrs. Reynolds, either from pride or attachment, had evidently great pleasure in talking of her master and his sister.
``Is your master much at Pemberley in the course of the year?''
``Not so much as I could wish, Sir; but I dare say he may spend half his time here; and Miss Darcy is always down for the summer months.''
``Now that your master shall be married, you may see more of him.''
``Yes, sir; that is what I hope and for the house to be filled with children once more, now that he has found someone who is good enough for him.''
Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner smiled. Elizabeth, blushing, could not help saying, ``It is very much to his credit, I am sure, that you should think so.''
The housekeeper added, ``He is a most excellent man, miss. I have never had a cross word from him in my life, and I have known him ever since he was four years old. If I was to go through the world, I could not meet with a better. But I have always observed that they who are good-natured when children are good-natured when they grow up; and he was always the sweetest-tempered, most generous-hearted, boy in the world.''
``His father was an excellent man,'' said Mrs. Gardiner.
``Yes, Ma'am, that he was indeed; and his son will be just like him - just as affable to the poor.''
``He is the best landlord, and the best master,'' said she, ``that ever lived. Not like the wild young men nowadays, who think of nothing but themselves. There is not one of his tenants or servants but what will give him a good name. Some people call him proud; but I am sure I never saw any thing of it. To my fancy, it is only because he does not rattle away like other young men.''
``In what an amiable light does this place him!'' thought Elizabeth.
On reaching the spacious lobby above, they were shown into a very pretty sitting-room, lately fitted up with greater elegance and lightness than the apartments below; and were informed that it was but just done to give pleasure to Miss Darcy, who had taken a liking to the room when last at Pemberley.
``He is certainly a good brother,'' said Elizabeth, as she walked towards one of the windows.
``And this is always the way with him,'' she added. - ``Whatever can give his sister any pleasure is sure to be done in a moment. There is nothing he would not do for her.''
"Your rooms are just guest rooms, I told Mr. Darcy that they were not fitting the Mistress of Pemberley but he insisted. Said that you would prefer time to become acquainted with the estate before letting all the servants know who you are - or should I say who you are to be!"
"Yes, that was our wish and I thank you. But please be assured, that our rooms are more than satisfactory."
"I'm glad to hear that miss and I'm sure that you will love it here."
The picture gallery, and two or three of the principal bedrooms, were all that remained to be shown. In the former were many good paintings; but Elizabeth knew nothing of the art; and from such as had been already visible below, she had willingly turned to look at some drawings of Miss Darcy's, in crayons, whose subjects were usually more interesting, and also more intelligible.
In the gallery there were many family portraits, but they could have little to fix the attention of a stranger. Elizabeth walked on in quest of the only face whose features would be known to her. At last it arrested her - and she beheld a striking resemblance of Mr. Darcy, with such a smile over the face as she remembered to have sometimes seen, when he looked at her. She stood several minutes before the picture in earnest contemplation, and returned to it again before they quitted the gallery. Mrs. Reynolds informed them that it had been taken in his father's life time.
There was certainly at this moment, in Elizabeth's mind, a warm sense of pride. The commendation bestowed on him by Mrs. Reynolds was of no trifling nature. What praise is more valuable than the praise of an intelligent servant? As a brother, a landlord, a master, she considered how many people's happiness were in his guardianship! - How much of pleasure or pain it was in his power to bestow! - How much of good or evil must be done by him! Every idea that had been brought forward by the housekeeper was favorable to his character, and as she stood before the canvas, on which he was represented, and fixed his eyes upon herself, she thought of his regard with a deeper sentiment of gratitude and love than she had ever felt. It was pleasing to hear of him from others who had the privilege of knowing him longer.
When all of the house had been seen, they returned down stairs, and, Mrs. Reynolds suggested that they view the gardens while she had tea set up in the drawing room. And thus, they were consigned over to the gardener, who met them at the hall door.
As they walked across the lawn towards the river, Elizabeth turned back to look again; her uncle and aunt stopped also, and while the former was conjecturing as to the date of the building, the owner of it himself suddenly came forward from the road, which led behind it to the stables.
Their eyes instantly met, and the cheeks of each were overspread with the deepest blush. He absolutely started, and for a moment seemed immoveable from surprise; but shortly recovering himself, advanced towards the party, and spoke to Elizabeth.
"Elizabeth, I mean Miss Bennet, I cannot tell you the pleasure it gives me to see you here at Pemberley. I hope you have not been waiting long."
Assuring him that she had not and having been given reassurances from Mrs. Reynolds that he would soon return, he gave him to know how happy she was to be there. He greeted her companions and taking her hand and placing it on his arm; she was led by him back into the house to be introduced to his sister.
As they approached the house, she was quite amazed at her own discomposure; but amongst other causes of disquiet, she dreaded lest the partiality of the brother should have said too much in her favor; and more than commonly anxious to please, she naturally suspected that every power of pleasing would fail her.
With astonishment did Elizabeth see that her new acquaintance was at least as much embarrassed as herself. From Wickham, she had heard that Miss Darcy was exceedingly proud; but the observation of a very few minutes convinced her that she was only exceedingly shy. She found it difficult to obtain even a word from her beyond a monosyllable.
Miss Darcy was tall, and on a larger scale than Elizabeth; and, though little more than sixteen, her figure was formed, and her appearance womanly and graceful. She was less handsome than her brother, but there was sense and good humor in her face, and her manners were perfectly unassuming and gentle. Elizabeth, who had expected to find in her as acute and unembarrassed an observer as ever Mr. Darcy had been, was much relieved by discerning such different feelings.
She could tell that Miss Darcy was pleased to meet her and that she admired her brother with soft, loving eyes. She deferred to him for a moment and Elizabeth noticed him giving his sister an encouraging nod. Miss Darcy, turned back to her guests and in an almost inaudible voice said, "Miss Bennet, Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner, allow my brother and I to welcome you to Pemberley. Would you please join for tea in the drawing room?"
Elizabeth, realizing how hard that was for Miss Darcy for it was obvious that she did not enjoy playing the hostess, accepted on their behalf. Darcy came immediately forward to offer his arm and they entered the drawing room.
Chapter Eighteen Posted on Friday, 14 January 2005
The drawing room that had been empty while viewed during their tour was now bustling with commotion. They were joined by Mrs. Annesley, Miss Darcy's companion, who appeared to Elizabeth to be a gentile sort of woman. Mrs. Annesley, on being introduced to Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner, entered into conversation with the latter on hearing that she had grown up in Lambton, only five miles from Pemberley.
Several servants were carrying in trays of the finest fruits that the season provided; there were also cold meats and a various array of confections. It was an elegant table that was sure, obviously fitted to please Pemberley's guests and future mistress. Elizabeth smiled warmly at Darcy and gently squeezed her hand on his arm to show her appreciation. The look he returned to her was one of a boy who had succeeded in his endeavor to please. There was a warm gentleness in his eyes, a look of true adoration for her.
Mr. Darcy escorted her to the settee by the fire and to her utter surprise, left her there and approached Mr. Gardiner across the room for conversation. Elizabeth was confused and disappointed by this but then his motives became clear when Miss Darcy took her usual seat across from her. He was trying to encourage conversation between the two and knew that this would be best achieved by lack of his interference. She smiled at him to explain that she understood and made her best attempts to please him.
"Miss Darcy, your brother tells me that you are very fond of music and Mrs. Reynolds says that you play and sing all day."
"Oh yes, I am fond of music, Miss Bennet, but I understand that is something we share in common for my brother tells me nothing gives him more pleasure that to hear your performance."
"I assure you that he has grossly exaggerated my abilities, for I would not want you to be disappointed, must be for some mischievous reasons, no doubt." Elizabeth notices a slight look of distress on the young woman's face.
"Oh no, my brother always tell the truth - except sometimes I think he is too kind to me."
"An ideal older brother then. You make me jealous, for I have no brothers, only four silly sisters!"
"I am so looking forward to having a sister." This outburst of emotion was more than the young girl was used to displaying and she was forced to drop her gaze while her cheeks crimsoned in a blush.
Elizabeth smiled, deeply touched by her comment, decided to turn the subject back to music to the great relief of her partner. They discussed musical pieces as well as their favorite composers for the next hour until Elizabeth convinced Georgiana to take her place at the piano forte by promising to turn the pages for her. Georgiana begged to only play for she could not sing in front of so many people. Elizabeth relented and followed her future sister to the new instrument.
For a girl so young, it was evident that Miss Darcy was very accomplished. While her playing lacked the same feeling as Elizabeth's, she was more proficient in mechanics. Darcy could not help but watch the ladies with admiration, one with the familiar regard often felt by parents and the other with a deep love. He had always felt that Elizabeth would be a good influence for Georgiana; he had not imagined though, that on her first visit she would get her to perform as she was doing now.
Upon the conclusion of Georgiana's recital, Elizabeth was prevailed upon to take up the instrument. Although fatigued from the day's traveling, one look from Darcy imploring her to play was all it took and she took her place. Darcy was transfixed; there was nothing in the room now but Elizabeth and the wonderful sounds she was producing. Her aunt and uncle could not help but notice the adoration in his eyes and upon her finishing; Elizabeth could not help but notice it either.
Before she could be prevailed upon to perform again, dinner was announced and the party was moved into the formal dining room. After eating such a luxurious tea and the glorious meal before her now, Elizabeth could not help but feel fatigue setting in. Her uncle and aunt were also feeling the effects of the day and declared their intentions of retiring directly if Miss Darcy did not object.
Miss Darcy, unaccustomed to performing the task of hostess, looked to her brother for support. "Of course, you must be fatigued. Please forgive us for keeping you this late." Elizabeth could tell from his expression he was disappointed but being the good host, he must allow them to retire. The party rose, and after thanking their hosts for their hospitality, bid their good nights. Before she could leave, Mr. Darcy grabbed her hand, drawing it slowly to his lips adding, "Welcome home, Miss Bennet and good night."
Elizabeth felt apprehensive entering her bed chamber. Although, it would soon be her home, it felt odd to be there, under his roof before she was lawfully his wife. She walked around the room, taking it all in as she gently ran her fingers around table in the center of the room. She noticed all her belongings had been placed in the closet, her bedclothes laid out, and the bed was turned back.
She walked over to the bed and gingerly sat down next to her garment. She felt her heart flutter and realized that he would see her wearing this on her next trip to Pemberley. She drew the garment up in her hands paying attention for the first time to its thinness. This and only this, she thought when startled out of her trance. She jumped immediately from the bed as a child about to be scolded. It was only a knock at her bed chamber door that had caused her to start but it was more the thought of who was at her door. As she beckoned the party in, she was relieved that it was a young woman, a servant of the household.
"Beg your pardon, Miss, I'm Molly, I'm to be your personal maid with your approval of course." She was a bit older than Elizabeth, maybe 24, a pretty girl although stout in stature. That she was Irish was evident from the brogue that tinted her speech, and from her dark hair and deep green eyes. "I have been under maid to Miss Darcy for the last two years and Mrs. Reynolds has told me that if I do well that I may be the maid to the new mistress when she arrives. She said that in the mean time that I could practice on you, Miss, if you did not mind and that you were a fine young lady."
"Molly, I am pleased to meet you and I'm sure you will do fine." Molly helped Elizabeth dress for bed and to take the pins from her hair. Elizabeth moved to the dressing table for Molly to brush out her long hair for her.
Elizabeth noticed that her grooming set was missing and that a beautiful, intricate sterling silver set was laid there. Elizabeth picked up the mirror to admire it and noticed the initial "ED" engraved on the handle. She smiled at the gift and passed the brush to Molly. When Elizabeth thanked for her help and bid her goodnight, she vowed to return at eight in the morning. She seemed a good girl and she appreciated the fact that Mrs. Reynolds had not told the young girl who her charge really was.
Elizabeth thought to tell her herself but knowing how servants like to gossip, she thought that it was not yet the time.
She crawled into her bed and enjoyed the closeness as the blankets enveloped around her. Her thoughts, however, were in another part of Pemberley, that part where he was. She rubbed her hand gently, still able to feel the warmth of his lips on it and the warmth in his face as he welcomed her home. Her thoughts were still thus engaged as she drifted off to sleep.
Elizabeth seemed to be in a fog, lost in a dream, unable to figure out where she was. In the distance she could see a chair with a man sitting in it. She tried to make out the figure, she tried in vain to make her eyes focus on the figure but just couldn't seem to make it out. Finally the fog thinned as her eyes opened wider, it was Fitzwilliam. "I am dreaming," she thought aloud and closed her eyes once more.
"If you are dreaming, my love, I am glad to know that I am a part of it!"
The response shocked her back to reality, "Fitzwilliam Darcy, what are you doing in here?? Have you lost your senses? What if one of the servants had seen you entering my chamber, or worse yet, Georgiana?"
"Shhhh, my darling, I assure you that no one saw me enter this chamber and do you know how beautiful you are when you are mad? But then again, dressed like that, I can't imagine that you would not look beautiful."
Suddenly, she realized her state of undress and pulled the covers up to protect her modesty. Darcy laughed at the effort and although, always the gentlemen in his actions, could not help but think what it would be like to be next to her every night. "Fitzwilliam, really, you must leave, what if my aunt or uncle should see you!"
"But that is a bad argument my love, for what would they do? Force me to marry you? I would do that tomorrow if you would but permit it so that is only an inducement." His tone became more serious now for he could see that she was truly distressed. "Relax, no one saw me enter, of that I am certain, and if you really want me to leave, I shall. But please, allow me to stay and talk to you for a few minutes before I go, won't you?"
Her regard soften but asked him, "how can you be certain that no one saw you?"
His amused grin reappeared, "Hmmmm, do you promise not be shocked if I tell you? Pemberley holds many secrets as did Darcy men of old. My great, great grandfather had Pemberley built and there is more to it than meets the eye. You see, as a young boy, I discovered it has hidden passageways, one leading from my bedchamber to this very room. I believe he kept prospective mistresses here but I prefer to think that it was my great, great grandmother, his intended. I paced my room for a full hour wondering what you were doing before I remembered that the passage was there and you were in this very room."
Elizabeth could not help but laugh and soon he joined in. "I just happen to be in this room. I'm sure that there was nothing happenstance about it. Alright sir, you may stay but for only ten minutes, and then you must go. What if a servant should notice you are missing?"
"I assure you, my love, Mrs. Reynolds assigned you to this room. I intended for you to be in my mother's old chambers, which has an adjoining door with mine, but the servants would know that you were their future mistress so I left it up to Mrs. Reynolds. Remind me to give her a raise! Actually, if you were in my mother's old rooms, I would never have let you leave here, once you were in your intended place. And I promise, no one shall know that I was here."
She glanced at the dressing table in the corner, "Thank you for the lovely gift, Fitzwilliam, you are spoiling me!"
"It gives me great pleasure and try to get used to it my love. And if that is how your hair looks after using it, it was money well spent."
They spent the next ten minutes in discussion. They had not really talked nor had a moment alone since her arrival. She told him how glad she was to meet his sister and what a lovely girl she was. "You should be proud of her Fitzwilliam; no parent could have done a better job with her. I am sure, though, that she has been an easy charge."
His face betrayed him. "Yes, she is a wonderful sister and I am glad that you will be here for her. I fear that she has not always had someone in which she could confide, and I hope that you would like to be that person." This was his reply but his countenance implied that he had found the task trying at times.
She thought of her own sisters and the contrast between them and Miss Darcy. What would seem a trial to Fitzwilliam would seem like nothing to Elizabeth after her experiences with her own sisters. "I shall be honored to be if she would do so but I must insist that you leave now! Your ten minutes were up some time ago. My maid will be here early and I should like to be awake when she arrives!"
"Alright my beloved, but let me steal a kiss before I go." He rose and approached her, gently placing his knee on the bed and bending down to kiss her. He lightly touched his lips to hers and started to pull away, but instead leaned in and kissed her more fervently than before. Starting to feel her senses losing their resolve, she gently pushed him away.
"Please my darling, you must go."
He rose and walked to panel to the left of the fireplace. Reaching up, he did something she could not make out, and the panel swung open. He glanced back and wished her goodnight.
"Goodnight, Fitzwilliam, I shall see you at breakfast. Oh, and the first thing that I'm going to do as Mistress of Pemberley is to make sure that passage is forever sealed."
"As you wish, my lady." And with a slight, mocking bow, disappeared behind the closing panel.
Chapter Nineteen Posted on Friday, 14 January 2005
And so a fortnight was happily passed for Elizabeth. She spent her days walking the grounds with Darcy, talking to him, and getting to know him better. She could not believe that this was the man that she had thought so proud for she felt so comfortable in his presence now that she could not imagine ever being parted from him. Pemberley too, its vast expanse, woods and streams, now felt like home to her. She could see what Pemberley meant to him and how greatly he loved it for now she could see why. He took great pains to show to her all the spots that were his favorites, places that he had never before shared with anyone.
The rooms of the house were also beginning to be familiar to her. She knew where Darcy would sit when he entered a room or which window from which he would approach to seek the view. She found that he would alter his path if she were not in it and this gratified and pleased her.
In her alone time, which was not great, she would walk the gallery and stare at the faces. She could now identify several of the portraits that on her first tour were of no interest to her, but now, seeing how important his heritage was to him, she learned who his parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles contained within were. Of the greatest interest to her was Anne Darcy. A stately figure to be sure but her portrait showed warmth and good humor in her eyes, eyes that seemed to her to be like her own. Mrs. Darcy had dark hair and fair skin like Elizabeth's, and although she could see slight similarities between Mrs. Darcy and her sister, Lady Catherine, she could sense the differences in their personalities just from the tenderness in her face.
Darcy, much more often than he cared for, was obliged to see to estate business. He had long neglected it while staying with Bingley in Hertfordshire so to be near Elizabeth, and although he wanted nothing more than to spend all the day by her side, he could not. Whenever he was forced to leave her, he made attempts to forward her relationship with Georgiana. He would make plans or excursions for them when he could not be with them such as a trip to the milliners or a carriage ride around the park. Mrs. Gardiner joined them often but on several occasions was happy to be back in the environs of her youth and would seek out old acquaintances. Her husband divided his time between his wife, joining Mr. Darcy, or indulging a favorite pastime, fishing. Darcy was happy for his advice for he found Mr. Gardiner an educated, articulate man whose advice seemed sound and astute.
Elizabeth understood Darcy's desire for her to become acquainted with his sister and it was something that she truly desired herself. She had found Georgiana to be a sweet but shy young girl that looked up to her brother more than any personage in the land. For their first few trips together, it was Elizabeth who started every conversation and who prodded it along but as Georgiana became more comfortable and familiar with Elizabeth, then it was she who to Elizabeth's surprise, did most to of the talking!
One particular visit seemed to spark this newfound voice in Georgiana, their first trip to the some of the neighbors. Georgiana was in the habit of visiting some of the tenants of Pemberley to see how they were doing, playing with their children, and bringing food to some of the older tenants. Elizabeth was amazed at the pains Georgiana took to make sure that no one wanted for anything that was in her power to give. If a child was sick, she arranged for the doctor. If the house was cold, she arranged for firewood to be delivered. If Georgiana did not see adequate food about, a basket was sent from the great house. Elizabeth truly enjoyed these special times with Georgiana and hoped to continue them when she was mistress of Pemberley.
Elizabeth could not believe that anyone who knew Georgiana like this would ever conceive that she was proud.
Elizabeth had never met a person so giving, not just in goods, but also from her heart. She could not understand how Wickham, who had grown up at Pemberley, could say such things of Miss Darcy.
It was agreed that Elizabeth would be introduced as Miss Darcy's friend from Hertfordshire, for no one except the family party still knew of their engagement. Elizabeth felt strangely though that somehow people knew. It was not from what they said but more from the way they said it. She felt it from the warmth of their greetings and the way they looked at her. It was almost as they were sizing her up and she was relieved that she seemed to be acceptable in some way to them. Her suspicions were confirmed one night with Molly.
As she was preparing to retire, Molly was brushing out Elizabeth's hair. Molly was in the habit of humming as she did so and Elizabeth found it very relaxing having the slow repetitive strokes to her hair in time with Molly's tune. This particular evening as Molly was in the middle of this task, she stopped abruptly, exclaiming, "It's true!"
"What's true?" Elizabeth asked. She noticed in the mirror's reflection that Molly was looking at the brush and upon Elizabeth's inquiry, tried to return to task, but Elizabeth could not help but notice the blush on her face.
"Begging your pardon, Miss. I don't know what came over me."
Suddenly, Elizabeth realized that what made Molly stop - looking at the mirror still on the dressing table, she remembered the initials ED on her brush. The secret was out, she knew it. "Molly, you are probably wondering why the initials on my brush set are ED and not EB, is that correct?"
"Oh no, Miss Bennet, that is none of my business, perhaps they are a family heirloom passed down to you." Her voice strained to sound convincing but her eyes showed that she was making excuses.
Elizabeth had thought when she met Molly that perhaps she should own up to her true identity, Mr. Darcy's fiancée. She knew in her heart that Molly knew the truth and now felt terribly guilty for not trusting her with the truth. She was genuinely fond of Molly and was afraid that their relationship would be forever marred by this secret.
"Molly," Elizabeth turned to face Molly now and not just look at her through the mirror's eyes, "if I tell you a secret, will you promise to tell me something?"
Elizabeth could see that Molly was pondering if she should accept this offer, wondering if it would be the correct thing to do. Hesitantly, she answered, "Yes, miss, if it is in my power to answer your question."
"You noticed the initials on my brush set, did you not?" When Molly nodded affirmatively, she continued, "I wish that I had told you this before and I hope that you will forgive me. I am very fond of you Molly and I have let Mrs. Reynolds know that. The brush set was a gift, a gift from my fiancée."
"Oh Miss, congratulations! How thoughtful that your fiancée would buy you such a gift - they are beautiful. When are you to be married?" True joy effused across the young girl's face.
"But Molly, you do not ask who my betrothed is."
Molly looked taken back; she knew that she had made a mistake here. "I imagined that if it were my business Miss that you would tell me. It is not for me to ask."
"Fair enough, Molly. In a few months time I shall be married and then my name will be Elizabeth Darcy - ED. Now, I don't believe that you are as surprised as you are trying to look and no, I'm not angry with you as I hope that you are not angry with me for not telling you. Mr. Darcy and I decided it would be easier for me to visit Pemberley without the staff or anyone else for that matter knowing who I was to become. This way it would be less intimidating for me."
"I understand Miss and I could never be mad at you after all the kindness that you have shown me!"
"I thank you Molly, but now I have to ask, what did you mean when you said 'it's true'?"
Molly looked uncomfortable but she knew that she would have to respond. "Well Miss, there has been speculation among the servants, Miss, as to that possibility. I assure you Miss that I have not been or would be involved in idle servant chatter but as it was the discussion at the servants' dinner table, I could not help but overhear it."
"Speculation - why? What have they said?"
"Miss, the servants, myself included can not help but see how Mr. Darcy looks at you and the amount of time he spends with you, or how he tries to make sure that you have every comfort. While he is always attentive to his guests, he has never been SO attentive, if you understand me, Miss. And we servants, have long hoped to see Mr. Darcy happily married, he is such a good and kindly man and we long to see him happy."
It was well known to Elizabeth by this time that Mr. Darcy was loved by his servants but she could not help but be pleased to hear it affirmed by one of them in such an affectionate way. "Molly, thank you for telling me. I only ask that you keep my secret for one more day if you can."
"Of course Miss, you can be assured of my silence."
"And Molly, if it is still your wish, I plan to have you attend me when I am Mrs. Darcy."
"Oh, thank you Miss, you have made me so happy!" With that Molly finished brushing out Elizabeth's hair, helped her dress to retire, and bid her good night.
Elizabeth suspected that Darcy still used the passage nightly to visit her even though she must have been asleep when he did it. It was comforting for her in a way, like he was her guardian angel while she slept. He had never mentioned it to her but she noticed several mornings that the chair he had sat in on that first meeting had been moved from its place - just ever so slightly. Nothing that a servant would pay attention to for it could have been Elizabeth herself that moved it but since she knew she had not and no one else had been there, she concluded that he had been there.
After Molly's discovery and subsequent confession, she decided that it was the greatest import that she talk to him privately and the best way to achieve that would be to wait for him. She picked up the book that she had brought up to her room and began reading to pass the time. It was a new book that had been a gift from Darcy to Georgiana and that Georgiana had recommended to her. She laughed because it dealt with the prospects of marriages of three sisters who, not unlike herself, were without a large dowry. She became enthralled in the tale of the Dashwoods but, as it was very late, felt her eyes closing after a few chapters, even though she was sitting up in bed. Her eyes started to blur and she was about to give up. Maybe he had not actually been there. She thought that she could see the passage opening and forced herself to focus. Yes, indeed it was.
"Elizabeth, why are you awake?" Darcy called to her more fearful that something was amiss than that he had been caught.
"I thought you were sneaking in here still; wipe that sheepish grin off Fitzwilliam Darcy! I suspected that you were coming in here and I needed to talk to you."
His concern was momentary. She explained to him what had transpired between her and Molly. She told him that she felt the tenants knew too from their welcome - that is was not the welcome that she would have proposed for a mere acquaintance of the family or for that matter for a particular friend of Miss Darcy's. She told him that she feared that anger would follow if they continued.
"I assure you that no one could be angry at you my darling, but I understand your concern. Perhaps, if you are ready, we should formally introduce you now. Anyway, now you could wear this." He produced a small box acknowledging that he had been carrying it around for some time.
"Fitzwilliam, you will spoil me!" She opened the box to find a beautiful ring with a large emerald stone surrounded by small diamonds. "It is too much! I can't accept this."
"Elizabeth, my father gave this to my mother and now I'm giving it to you. Of course, all of the Darcy jewels will be yours with the exception of things explicitly left to Georgiana, not that you could wear them everyday but I would be please me to see you wear this." He smiled as he slid it on her delicate finger and then lifted it to his mouth where he gently kissed it. "Anyway, I've been carrying it around since you have arrived but knew if the servants saw you with it, they would know. But since it is evident that they are on to us, it is now yours and on your hand where it belongs. I shall arrange that after breakfast that Mrs. Reynolds shall assemble the staff and I can make the announcement, if that is agreeable to you? We will have to make some visits to prominent neighbors as well - shall we begin tomorrow afternoon lunch?"
She agreed with his plan and bid him goodnight although he did not want to leave. She insisted, especially now that everyone would know - not that was any more reason but she felt that the Mistress of Pemberley should not allow anything near a scandal. He relented, kissing her hand and as he started to walk away, he looked back and he could not resist her. He approached the bed once more putting his left hand to her cheek. Gently he stroked his hand backwards until it was in her hair and at the back of her head. He gently pulled her to him and indulged in a passionate kiss. The feel of her warmth next to him was almost too much to bear for him. Without the confines of her usual garments he could feel the outline of her curves next to him and the warm of her skin through his hand on her back. He began to trail his kiss across her cheek and for a moment, just held her in his embrace. Her unencumbered hair was soft and luxurious to his touch. He breathed in deeply enjoying the scent of her and could not help himself from kissing her neck. He moved his kisses down until he got to the small of her shoulder. He heard Elizabeth whisper his name in a warning and knew he had better leave or he would be forgetting himself.
"Oh Elizabeth, forgive me my love, you don't know what you do to me!" He pulled away and moved toward the fireplace. He stopped there to look at her; she was blushing and looking radiant from the color. "Good night my love, good night!" He slowly disappeared behind the panels.
Elizabeth tried as she might to sleep but she was under the mighty weight of her mind. First, tomorrow everyone would know and somehow, she was worried that the servants and neighbors would not approve of her. Second, she could not help but notice the weight of the ring on her finger. She had never touched anything like it, it was beautiful and emerald was her favorite stone. She had felt that Pemberley was home but now she felt as if she now somehow belonged to it because of the ring - she felt that somehow she belonged to him now.
Chapter Twenty Posted on Friday, 14 January 2005
Molly arrived in Elizabeth's bedchamber at her usual hour unaware that her future mistress had been pacing the room since before the sun rose. She was dressed already but awaited Molly to dress her hair and to prevent her from going downstairs prematurely. She was quite nervous knowing that today her status would change from guest to future lady of the house. As she had paced, she fingered the ring on her left hand, occasionally stopping to stare at it. She felt his reassuring presence and warmth from the cold stone. But this reassurance would only temporarily exist and then her nerves would reappear.
Molly's arrival brought butterflies to her stomach for she knew that soon they would breakfast and then make the fateful announcement. Molly could not help but notice the beautiful ring on Elizabeth's hand and commented, "Miss that is a beautiful ring!"
"Oh thank you Molly, it belonged to Mrs. Darcy." Elizabeth recalled that Molly had put her to bed and was seeing her first thing in the morning so she added the Mr. Darcy had given it to her before but since their engagement was not announced, she did not dare to wear it. It was a lie but she could not bear for Molly to think unapprovingly of Mr. Darcy. This almost seemed odd to her since she herself had thought so ill of him in the recent past.
"But you are wearing it now?" Molly questioned and Elizabeth revealed what the morning would bring. "Oh miss, I'm so happy for you! We will have to do your hair extra special today!" True to her word, Elizabeth smiled at her reflection in the mirror; she had never felt more beautiful. She thanked Molly and headed to the dining room.
When Elizabeth entered, the rest of the party was assembled. She bid the others good morning and went about making her plate. Her usual place was on Darcy's right and when she took her place, she subconsciously placed her left hand bearing the Darcy ring in her lap. Under the table, she felt his hand take hers and looked to see him smiling at her knowing that she needed his reassurance. He gently pulled her hand to the top of the table and placed it so that all may see the ring. It was not that he wanted to show off his material goods but that he wanted all to know that she was his, that he loved her and that he wanted to share everything that made up his world with her.
He did not go so far as to hold her hand at the table, which would not be what he considered proper decorum but he didn't have to. The ever-observant footman noticed the ring immediately and before long the house was a buzz. Georgiana had made plans to take the Gardiners to visit Lambton; she was very surprised that when she begged leave from him that he refused. All eyes turned to Darcy.
"My dear guests and my dear Georgiana, I must beg that you postpone your outing just a little bit. I fear that I can wait no longer and a beg you all to join me in the great hall." He mysteriously left the table and disappeared from the room. All eyes turned on Elizabeth to explain his strange behavior and Elizabeth could not help but feel the color rise to her cheeks. Georgiana looked at her questionably and then she too noticed the ring. The excitement she felt glowed in her features.
She exclaimed, "Tell me, may I now acknowledge you as my sister?"
"I don't know about 'sister' but I believe future sister would be acceptable."
"Oh Elizabeth," she said hugging her dear friend, "I have been dying to tell everyone! This is wonderful!!!"
"I think that you should contain yourself Georgiana until your brother gives you leave!" Elizabeth could not help laughing at Georgiana's enthusiasm.
"Well, come on - what are you waiting for!" Darcy exclaimed in good humor when he reappeared at the door.
Elizabeth was the last of the family party to enter the main hall. Servants seemed to be coming from everywhere, hurriedly taking their places which seemed to be pre-assigned positions. She had not realized how many servants there were until she saw them assembling. It would have been daunting to most, but she felt her courage rising. She could do this; she would do this and she would make him proud of her. Finally, the grooms arrived and it appeared that the assembly was complete.
"I am sure that you are all aware that we have had guests here at Pemberley this past fortnight. I want to congratulate you all on your fine work in making them feel welcome."
As Elizabeth listened to Darcy's words, she looked about the servants. She saw Mrs. Reynolds smiling lovingly at Mr. Darcy. Tears were welling in her eyes, tears of obvious joy. Behind her stood Molly, she was smiling proudly at her new mistress. Elizabeth was taken back to Darcy's words when she felt him take her hand.
"But now I must ask your congratulations for this beautiful young lady has consented to be my wife." With that Darcy drew the hand that he held to his lips and delicately bestowed upon it a kiss. An exclaim of good cheer arose from the servants, obviously happy for their master, and then the crowd was upon them congratulating him and then wishing her joy and happiness at Pemberley. Mrs. Reynolds arranged for the footmen to retreat temporarily and to come back with glasses and wine for all.
Darcy exclaimed, "I see Mrs. Reynolds, you have foreseen me, I know that it is early in the day but I ask that you join me in a toast, to Miss Bennet!"
"To Miss Bennet!"
"And to Mr. Darcy!" shouted Mr. Darcy's valet.
"To Mr. Darcy!"
"Alright, alright, back to work this house doesn't run itself!" Mrs. Reynolds scolded after a brief period of revelry. "Let's give Mr. Darcy and Miss Bennet some privacy! We all have work to do!"
Slowly, the workers began to file out, all lining up to shake the hand of their future mistress. Even Georgiana and the Gardiners excused themselves. Darcy led Elizabeth into his library where they could be alone and undisturbed. As Elizabeth relaxed into a chair, she could not help but let out a sigh."
Darcy concerned asked if she was unwell. "Oh no, my love, I suddenly feel exhausted! I must admit to a little anxiety last night over this morning's events, unneeded anxiety - I see that now, but I must admit to not sleeping well. And then all this excitement this morning, I suddenly feel warn out!" Darcy walked away from her and pulled the bell cord.
"This will not do my darling," he said as he returned to her side, drawing her hand into his, "you must rest immediately, I will not have your make yourself unwell. I have work to do here so why don't you rest. When you awaken, come back to the library and we can take a ride out so that I may introduce my fiancée to some of our neighbors. That is, if Georgiana hasn't told everyone in the mean time!" He drew her hand up and kissed as Mrs. Reynolds appeared at the door.
Rising, Darcy approached Mrs. Reynolds. "Miss Bennet is quite worn out. Will you see her to her room and then send Molly to her with some warm milk? And make sure that she is undisturbed for at least two hours. Thank you Mrs. Reynolds."
Elizabeth rose and could not help laughing at Darcy, "am I to have no say sir?"
"I will not have you getting sick and missing our wedding, I have waited but I don't know if my patience can be extended any longer. I may be forced to take you to Gretna Green!" He smiled at her so lovingly and with such concern that she couldn't help but obey his wishes and followed Mrs. Reynolds to her room promising to return to him after her rest.
Chapter Twenty-One Posted on Saturday, 29 January 2005
When Elizabeth awoke, she looked at herself in her dressing mirror. Her rest had done her good, for now, she felt refreshed and genuinely happy. Not longer did she feel the stress and apprehension of the morning, nor did she worry of living up to the expectation of becoming "Mrs. Darcy." Now the secret was out and she felt that the way in which the servants wished her joy, that they had accepted her into their hearts. She straightened her garments and put a lone hair that had escaped its pin back into its confines and set out to find her beloved.
As she approached the library door, she heard voices from within. Mrs. Reynolds was talking to Mr. Darcy about estate business so she decided not to enter but to linger in the hallway until they were finished. It was not her intent to eavesdrop but since Pemberley was soon to be her home and she knew how much Darcy loved it, she could not help but to take an interest in its affairs.
"Oh, and Mr. Darcy, have you decided on the applicants for the living at Houghton? It has been open for some time and the position must be filled."
"You are very right, Mrs. Reynolds, it must be done. I will read through the letters today. Is that all?"
Elizabeth listened as she wandered around the hallway taking note of the pictures there. She could not help but notice the miniatures of both Darcy and Wickham and hearing talk of a living brought her awareness back to his story of woe.
"Yes, Mr. Darcy, oh and you said that you had a letter to be posted to Mr. Bingley?"
"Forgive me Mrs. Reynolds, I left it in my room, wait here a moment and I shall bring it down." Darcy turned to leave the room despite Mrs. Reynolds' protest that she could have a servant retrieve the letter. "Nonsense, I know exactly where I left it and it shan't take a moment." When he opened the door, he perceived Elizabeth there and a warmth effused through his handsome face.
"My darling, you look more beautiful than you did this morning which is an achievement because I thought you were breathtaking then. I have to fetch something for Mrs. Reynolds but why don't you wait with her in my study until I come back down." She smiled and a slight blush at his compliment grew in her cheek but before she could utter a word, he was making his way up the stairway, so she turned and entered the study.
"Good afternoon, Miss. I trust you had a good rest. Can I order you a tray of refreshment?"
"No, thank you, Mrs. Reynolds. I think a walk out of doors is all that I wish for and for that, I shall wait and see if Mr. Darcy can join me." Elizabeth wandered around the room but thoughts of the living could not escape her mind. Finally, she resolved to put forth a question. "Mrs. Reynolds, I heard you and Mr. Darcy discussing the living at Houghton, it is vacant, I believe?"
"Yes, Miss, and it has been for some time." Mrs. Reynolds saw a confused look on Elizabeth's face and tried to put the young lady at rest, "I know that Mr. Darcy has had some applications from excellent families to fill it. He takes his responsibility very seriously and is trying to find the most respectable and caring person for the position. I'm sure that it shall not be long."
Elizabeth paused but knew that she had to know. "Mrs. Reynolds, is that the living that the late Mr. Darcy had promised to Mr. Wickham?" Mrs. Reynolds knew not how to answer that. But it was answered for her.
"As a matter of fact, no, it is not. Here is the letter Mrs. Reynolds, that will be all, thank you." He turned to Elizabeth now, his brow was furled and his eyes shown dark. Elizabeth had startled at hearing Darcy's voice. It was strong and forceful; she knew that he was angry. "Why do you ask Elizabeth?"
She waited for Mrs. Reynolds to leave the room for she knew that there was no turning back this time. Still she hesitated, and she noticed that as she did, the color of Mr. Darcy's face darkened.
"Why do you ask Elizabeth?" He repeated, stressing the words as he spoke them.
Elizabeth felt her strength rising. "Mr. Wickham had told me that your father had promised him a living. I wondered that if this living had been meant to be his, why you would be entertaining applications. Or if not, why you would disregard your father's wishes?"
Darcy took a minute to contain his emotions, but he could not hide the hurt that his eyes betrayed. "The living at Kympton, which is also in my power to bestow, is the one my father intended for Wickham. Did he not tell you though that he resolved not to take orders and to instead pursue the law as his profession? I rather wished than believed him to be sincere; but, at any rate, was perfectly ready to accede to his proposal. I knew that Mr. Wickham ought not to be a clergyman. The business was therefore soon settled. He resigned all claim to assistance in the church, were it possible that he could ever be in a situation to receive it, and accepted in return three thousand pounds. All connection between us seemed now dissolved. Did he not tell you that?"
Elizabeth was shocked and confirmed Darcy's suspicions; no he had not mentioned that.
"For about three years I heard little of him; but on the decease of the incumbent of the living which had been designed for him, he applied to me again by letter for the presentation. His circumstances, he assured me, and I had no difficulty in believing it, were exceedingly bad. He had found the law a most unprofitable study, and was now absolutely resolved on being ordained, if I would present him to the living in question -- of which he trusted there could be little doubt, as he was well assured that I had no other person to provide for, and I could not have forgotten my revered father's intentions. You will hardly blame me for refusing to comply with this entreaty, or for resisting every repetition of it. His resentment was in proportion to the distress of his circumstances -- and he was doubtless as violent in his abuse of me to others, as in his reproaches to myself. After this period, every appearance of acquaintance was dropt. How he lived I know not. But last summer he was again most painfully obtruded on my notice."
Darcy paused and walked to the sideboard of the study where a crystal pitcher of water rested. He poured himself a glass and looked back at his beloved Elizabeth. His heart ached for he saw that she was crying but he knew that he must continue, he must be exonerated of any charges that Wickham laid at his door. He had to look away though; he could not bear the sight so he walked to the window behind his desk, peering out as he finished his tale.
"I must now mention a circumstance which I would wish to forget myself, and which no obligation less than the present should induce me to unfold to any human being, even you my dearest Elizabeth. Having said thus much, I feel no doubt of your secrecy. As you know my sister was left to the guardianship of Colonel Fitzwilliam and myself. About a year ago, she was taken from school, and an establishment formed for her in London; and last summer she went with the lady who presided over it, to Ramsgate; and thither also went Mr. Wickham, undoubtedly by design; for there proved to have been a prior acquaintance between him and Mrs. Younge, in whose character we were most unhappily deceived; and by her connivance and aid he so far recommended himself to Georgiana, whose affectionate heart retained a strong impression of his kindness to her as a child, that she was persuaded to believe herself in love, and to consent to an elopement. She was then but fifteen, which must be her excuse; and after stating her imprudence, I am happy to add that I owed the knowledge of it to herself. I joined them unexpectedly a day or two before the intended elopement; and then Georgiana, unable to support the idea of grieving and offending a brother whom she almost looked up to as a father, acknowledged the whole to me. You may imagine what I felt and how I acted. Regard for my sister's credit and feelings prevented any public exposure, but I wrote to Mr. Wickham, who left the place immediately, and Mrs. Younge was of course removed from her charge. Mr. Wickham's chief object was unquestionably my sister's fortune, which is thirty thousand pounds; but I cannot help supposing that the hope of revenging himself on me was a strong inducement. His revenge would have been complete indeed."
"And now, I see he has imposed upon you as well. I noticed that he seemed to pay you a certain regard and I watched for protection from a distance. If he knew how I felt about you, you would have been in danger so I made it a point to not talk to you in his presence. What lies may I ask did he tell you?"
Elizabeth drew out her handkerchief and dabbed her eyes. "I can't believe it but yet it must be true. He told me that despite your father's wishes that you would not give him the living. That you had been friends as boys and now that you ignored all that." She could not go on, how could she have believed him. It now struck her how odd it was that on the very day of the beginning of their acquaintance, that he should tell her so much. She remembered with pain that as soon as the Netherfield party had returned to London that all of Meryton knew his tale of woe. He had not done so until Darcy was not there to defend himself. She realized that she had been a fool.
"And what did he tell you of my sister?" Darcy feared the answer. It was his greatest fear that Wickham would malign Georgiana with vicious gossip so he was gripped with an agonizing eagerness for her answer.
"He never spoke of the events you just mentioned; he only said that she had grown up to be very proud. Anyone that knows her though would see that she is only shy." As she said this, Darcy exhaled but she noticed that his hands still tightly gripped the window sill that he was now looking out of.
"Elizabeth, I hope that you understand and agree why Wickham shall not have the living." She nodded assent but he had not been looking at her. "You believed his assertions?"
Elizabeth could not lie, she let out a feeble yes to his question that was followed by more sobs. As he turned to face her, it seemed he made a grave realization.
"Elizabeth, this is what you thought of me? That I would deny my fathers wishes and hurt a just man because of my whim? That I would knowingly condemn a childhood friend to near poverty because I was cruel?" Elizabeth's sobs grew louder and louder. "If this is what you thought of me, why did you consent to marry me?"
"Elizabeth," he approached her and grabbed her with both of his hands at her elbows. He gently shook her but she could not bring her eyes up to meet his. "Elizabeth, why did you consent to marry me? Was it for my money? Because you were afraid that your father would die and you were worried for your comfort? Elizabeth, is that why?"
He released her from his grip for she had given him no answer. He turned away from her and ran his fingers through his hair as she had seen him do before when he was vexed. She approached him and gently put her hand on his arm. He shuddered at her touch and withdrew from her reach.
"For my family." She murmured.
He said nothing and did not even look at her. He couldn't look at her. He needed to get out of there, away from her, for he could not stand the pain he felt in his heart. He needed to be alone so he headed for the door.
"But I love you so very dearly now..." She called after him but he was already gone. She didn't know if he had heard her and it overwhelmed her to know that she was causing him so much pain. She startled as she heard the front door slam and Darcy outside yelling to the stable hands to bring him his horse. Her sobs became uncontrollable and she ran for her room. As she ran past the miniatures, she could not help noticing them for it was the sight of them that had started these events in motion. She no longer felt anything for Wickham; she had not loved him but she had valued his friendship and pitied his situation. But not now. Now she determined to not think of him again. It was the other miniature that drew her gaze. She loved him and now she feared their relationship was at an end.
Chapter Twenty-Two Posted on Saturday, 29 January 2005
It seemed like hours to Elizabeth, but in reality she sat crying on the lavish bed for less than one when a gentle knock came at her door. Elizabeth did not answer, almost fearing who it might be while at the same time wishing that it was Darcy coming to seek her out. Slowly she heard the door opening; she could not look but soon felt a gentle voice in her ear.
It was her aunt, Mrs. Gardiner, who came to comfort her and she did her best as she allowed Elizabeth to cry out her sad story.
"I have always wondered Elizabeth how you fell in love with Mr. Darcy when you had disliked him so much; you know that your uncle and I would have taken care of you, your sisters, and your mother. You would all have been welcome in our home, my dear, it would not have been necessary to sacrifice yourself. You do love him now and that is what is important. But now things are out in the open and that is the best way to start a marriage. He must know that you love him - any fool could see that. I'm sure that he is merely hurt and when he returns, all will be well."
"Oh Aunt, if I could be sure of that! No, I fear that all is lost. You didn't see him, did you? He left the house; he had to be out of the sight of me."
"Oh, now there, there my dear. No, I didn't see him but Molly said that Mr. Darcy likes to ride around Pemberley to clear his head when he is upset. Don't worry."
"He once told me that once his good opinion of someone is lost, that it is lost forever. He will never forgive me. And anyway, what does Molly know of this??? She knows of my troubles?"
"My darling girl, it was Molly that sought me out. She was below stairs and heard other servants gossiping. A stable hand was telling the others how upset Mr. Darcy seemed when he called for his horse and then an under maid said that she had seen you crying on the way to your chamber. Molly knew that you may need someone to talk to and came in search of me. Smart girl that. You'll see my dear girl, everything will work it way out. Mr. Darcy is a good, caring man who loves you deeply; he is not going to just forget all that. All he needs is time. Now, I will send Molly to you and we will go down to dinner, ok? You'll see all will be fine."
Elizabeth nodded and tried to give her aunt a smile but she could not feel so sure. She requested though that Molly be sent to her to prepare for dinner because sooner or later she would have to face him. She could not be a guest in his house and avoid him so now was as good a time as any.
Molly attended her future mistress with gentle care and dressed her in what she felt was Elizabeth's most becoming gown. She did her hair and helped apply cold compresses to Elizabeth's face and eyes to reduce the swelling and redness that her crying had caused. All this she did without uttering a single word beside what was necessary and for this, Elizabeth was grateful. And before she left the room, Elizabeth took Molly's hand in hers and murmured her thanks.
When Elizabeth entered the dining room, she looked immediately towards his chair at the head of the table but its view was obscured from the entrance. Elizabeth moved towards its location for Georgiana was still Mistress of the house and as such, sat at the opposite end. Elizabeth was still a guest and as the honored guest, as well as to Darcy's liking, she was seated always on his right side. As she proceeded to her chair, she never took her eyes off the direction of his chair, waiting to catch a glimpse of him, wanting to see forgiveness in his eyes. But he was not there.
Elizabeth did not know what to think, where could he be and was he thinking of her. She played with the first two courses, trying for Georgiana's sake to not look out of sorts, but she could not bring herself to eat. Finally he entered the room and upon Georgiana's inquiry as to where he had been, he apologized claiming that it was estate business had lead to his tardiness. As he pulled his chair out, he and Elizabeth locked eyes for a moment, he could see the tears welling up. He then looked at the plate in front of her and noticed that she had not eaten anything even though the others had just finished the course. Had she been able to return his gaze, she would have seen the deep concern in his face. He gently reached under the table and momentarily grasped her hand. Immediately she looked up at him upon feeling his touch and she saw forgiveness in his eyes. She felt pure joy and could not contain a smile which he returned.
After that, dinner was as usual. The men rose to retire to have a glass of port in the study while the ladies prepared to withdraw to the drawing room. Just as they approached the door, it opened and a servant bearing a silver tray carrying two letters entered.
"Miss Bennet, these arrived for you this afternoon. I apologize for not delivering them earlier but Mr. Darcy had ordered that you not be disturbed so that you could rest."
"Thank you" was all that she replied.
Elizabeth had been a good deal disappointed in not finding a letter from Jane on their first arrival at Pemberley; and this disappointment had been renewed on each of the mornings that had now been spent there; but finally, her repining was over, and her sister justified, by the receipt of two letters from her at once, on one of which was marked that it had been missent elsewhere. Elizabeth was not surprised at it, as Jane had written the direction remarkably ill.
Elizabeth, desiring the respite she hoped the letter would give her, begged the leave of her companions, leaving her to enjoy them in quiet, set off by herself to the terrace. The one missent must be first attended to; it had been written five days ago. The beginning contained an account of all their little parties and engagements, with such news as the country afforded; but the latter half, which was dated a day later, and written in evident agitation, gave more important intelligence. It was to this effect:
Since writing the above, dearest Lizzy, something has occurred of a most unexpected and serious nature; but I am afraid of alarming you -- be assured that we are all well. What I have to say relates to poor Lydia. An express came at twelve last night, just as we were all gone to bed, from Colonel Forster, to inform us that she was gone off to Scotland with one of his officers; to own the truth, with Wickham! --Imagine our surprise. To Kitty, however, it does not seem so wholly unexpected. I am very, very sorry. So imprudent a match on both sides! -- But I am willing to hope the best. His choice is disinterested at least, for he must know my father can give her nothing. Our poor mother is sadly grieved. My father bears it better. They were off Saturday night about twelve, as is conjectured, but were not missed till yesterday morning at eight. The express was sent off directly. My dear Lizzy, they must have passed within ten miles of us. Colonel Forster gives us reason to expect him here soon. Lydia left a few lines for his wife, informing her of their intention. I must conclude, for I cannot be long from my poor mother. I am afraid you will not be able to make it out, but I hardly know what I have written.
Without allowing herself time for consideration, and scarcely knowing what she felt, Elizabeth, on finishing this letter, instantly seized the other, and opening it with the utmost impatience, read as follows -- it had been written a day later than the conclusion of the first:
By this time, my dearest sister, you have received my hurried letter; I wish this may be more intelligible, but though not confined for time, my head is so bewildered that I cannot answer for being coherent. Dearest Lizzy, I hardly know what I would write, but I have bad news for you, and it cannot be delayed. Imprudent as a marriage between Mr. Wickham and our poor Lydia would be, we are now anxious to be assured it has taken place, for there is but too much reason to fear they are not gone to Scotland. Colonel Forster came yesterday, having left Brighton the day before, not many hours after the express.Though Lydia's short letter to Mrs. F. gave them to understand that they were going to Gretna Green, something was dropped by Denny expressing his belief that W. never intended to go there, or to marry Lydia at all, which was repeated to Colonel F., who, instantly taking the alarm, set off from B. intending to trace their route. He did trace them easily to Clapham, but no farther; for on entering that place they removed into a hackney-coach and dismissed the chaise that brought them from Epsom. All that is known after this is that they were seen to continue the London road. I know not what to think. After making every possible enquiry on that side London, Colonel F. came on into Hertfordshire, anxiously renewing them at all the turnpikes, and at the inns in Barnet and Hatfield, but without any success; no such people had been seen to pass through. With the kindest concern he came on to Longbourn, and broke his apprehensions to us in a manner most creditable to his heart. I am sincerely grieved for him and Mrs. F., but no one can throw any blame on them. Our distress, my dear Lizzy, is very great. My father and mother believe the worst, but I cannot think so ill of him. Many circumstances might make it more eligible for them to be married privately in town than to pursue their first plan; and even if _he_ could form such a design against a young woman of Lydia's connections, which is not likely, can I suppose her so lost to every thing? -- Impossible.
O grieve to find, however, that Colonel F. is not disposed to depend upon their marriage; he shook his head when I expressed my hopes, and said he feared W. was not a man to be trusted. My poor mother is really ill and keeps her room. Could she exert herself it would be better, but this is not to be expected; and as to my father, I never in my life saw him so affected. Poor Kitty has anger for having concealed their attachment; but as it was a matter of confidence, one cannot wonder. I am truly glad, dearest Lizzy, that you have been spared something of these distressing scenes; but now, as the first shock is over, shall I own that I long for your return? I am not so selfish, however, as to press for it, if inconvenient. Adieu. I take up my pen again to do what I have just told you I would not, but circumstances are such, that I cannot help earnestly begging you all to come here as soon as possible. I know my dear uncle and aunt so well that I am not afraid of requesting it, though I have still something more to ask of the former. My father and Charles are going to London with Colonel Forster instantly, to try to discover her. What they mean to do, I am sure I know not; but father's excessive distress will not allow him to pursue any measure in the best and safest way, and Colonel Forster is obliged to be at Brighton again to-morrow evening. In such an exigence my uncle's advice and assistance would be every thing in the world; he will immediately comprehend what I must feel, and I rely upon his goodness.'
``Oh! where, where is my uncle?'' cried Elizabeth, darting from her seat as she finished the letter, in eagerness to follow him without losing a moment of the time so precious; but as she reached the terrace door, it was opened by Mr. Darcy. Her pale face and impetuous manner made him start, and before she could recover herself enough to speak, he, in whose mind every idea was superseded by Elizabeth's distress exclaimed, ``Good God! what is the matter?'' with more feeling than politeness. "Forgive me Elizabeth if I have made you so unwell, I was angry and my pride was hurt but please, no longer distress yourself.''
``I have just had a letter from Jane, with such dreadful news. It cannot be concealed from any one. My youngest sister has left all her friends -- has eloped; -- has thrown herself into the power of -- of Mr. Wickham. They are gone off together from Brighton. _You_ know him too well to doubt the rest. She has no money, no connections, nothing that can tempt him to -- she is lost for ever.''
``I am grieved, indeed,'' cried Darcy; ``grieved -- shocked. But is it certain, absolutely certain?''
``Oh yes! -- They left Brighton together on Sunday night, and were traced almost to London, but not beyond; they are certainly not gone to Scotland.''
``And what has been done, what has been attempted, to recover her?''
``My father and Mr. Bingley are gone to London, and Jane has written to beg my uncle's immediate assistance, and we shall be off, I hope, in half an hour. But nothing can be done; I know very well that nothing can be done. How is such a man to be worked on? How are they even to be discovered? I have not the smallest hope. It is every way horrible!''
Darcy shook his head in silent acquiescence. He made no answer. He seemed scarcely to hear her, and was walking up and down the terrace in earnest meditation; his brow contracted, his air gloomy. Elizabeth soon observed and instantly understood it. Her power was sinking; every thing _must_ sink under such a proof of family weakness, such an assurance of the deepest disgrace. She should either wonder or condemn, but the belief of his self-conquest brought nothing consolatory to her bosom, afforded no palliation of her distress. She knew that this would be too much, after finding out that she was marrying him for her family's welfare and then to be asked in the best case to call Wickham brother, it could not be.
But self, though it would intrude, could not engross her. Lydia -- the humiliation, the misery, she was bringing on them all -- soon swallowed up every private care; and covering her face with her handkerchief, Elizabeth was soon lost to every thing else; and, after a pause of several minutes, was only recalled to a sense of her situation by the voice of her companion, who, in a manner, which though it spoke compassion, spoke likewise restraint, said, ``I must leave for London at first light. Mr. Gardiner may accompany me. This is my fault and so must the reckoning be."
"I could not ask you to take such mortification on yourself! And to pursue a man that you so rightfully despise! It is too much to ask!"
"No Elizabeth, it is because of me. I'm sure that Wickham knows of our engagement, probably from Lydia's own mouth, and it is to get back at me that he is doing this. He could not get to you or to me so he is going after the next best thing, one of your sisters. I'm so terribly sorry that he has sought out this form of revenge and hope that you can forgive me. This unfortunate affair will, I fear, prevent my sister's having the pleasure of having you continuing your stay at Pemberley. I will arrange a carriage to take you and Mrs. Gardiner to Longbourn. Please, I beg you to return to your chamber and get some rest. I will have Mrs. Reynolds come up and give you something to help you sleep. I cannot bear to see you in so much distress. I will arrange everything with the Gardiners. Trust in me, Elizabeth, all will be well again''
``Oh, yes. Be so kind as to apologize for us to Miss Darcy. Say that urgent business calls us home immediately. Conceal the unhappy truth as long as it is possible. -- I know it cannot be long. I don't want to distress her by mentioning Wickham until we know the outcome of this situation.''
He readily assured her of his secrecy -- again expressed his sorrow for her distress laying his hand on her arm lovingly, promising her a happier conclusion than there was at present reason to hope, and, leaving to locate for her relations, with only one serious, parting, look, went away.
Chapter Twenty-Three Posted on Saturday, 29 January 2005
Elizabeth was too strained to protest Darcy's commands so she proceeded up the grand staircase to her chamber. Her thoughts were in a whirl as she recalled the events of the day; how had things changed so drastically. Early this morning, which seemed ages ago now, had begun so happily with Mr. Darcy introducing her as his future bride. She wondered now if he regretted doing that for it would make breaking the engagement harder. She would have to break it, for if he did it, it would tarnish her reputation but then again, Lydia's disgrace had already done it. It gave him the cause that he would need.
Then the fateful events of the afternoon had seemed to be the worst thing that could happen at the time, if only she had known what was to come. And it had just seemed to her that he had forgiven her, the feel of his touch and the slight smile that he gave had given her hope. Now she feared that she might never see him again once she had left his house. She could not cry; however, now she was beyond tears.
As she entered the chamber and Molly prepared her for bed, she reran Jane's letters though her head. Never, since reading Jane's second letter, had she entertained a hope of Wickham's meaning to marry Lydia. No one but Jane, she thought, could flatter herself with such an expectation. Surprise was the least of her feelings on this development. While the contents of the first letter remained on her mind, she was all surprise -- all astonishment that Wickham should marry a girl whom it was impossible he could marry for money especially after hearing Darcy's tale of his mercenary pursuit of Miss Darcy; and how Lydia could ever have attached him had appeared incomprehensible. But now it was all too natural. For such an attachment as this, she might have sufficient charms; and though she did not suppose Lydia to be deliberately engaging in an elopement, without the intention of marriage, she had no difficulty in believing that neither her virtue nor her understanding would preserve her from falling an easy prey.
She had never perceived, while the regiment was in Hertfordshire, that Lydia had any partiality for him, but she was convinced that Lydia had wanted only encouragement to attach herself to any body. Sometimes one officer, sometimes another had been her favorite, as their attentions raised them in her opinion. Her affections had been continually fluctuating, but never without an object. The mischief of neglect and mistaken indulgence towards such a girl. -- Oh! how acutely did she now feel it.
Mrs. Reynolds came to her as Darcy had promised and brought with her a warm beverage that would induce sleep. Without complaint, she drank it down, just desiring the day to end and to stop the thoughts in her head. Molly and Mrs. Reynolds helped her into bed and without exchanging words, expressed to each their distress for Miss Bennet. The light was gone from her eyes and she was distant, as if in a far off place. They graciously wished her good night, turned out the lights and left her to her thoughts. Now her thoughts were only of him, in which part of the house he was in, what he was doing and most importantly, was he thinking of her. Her thoughts were thus employed as the sleeping powders in her beverage took their hold and she drifted off to sleep.
Elizabeth felt herself to be in a fog; Darcy was talking to her but veiled behind smoke.
"It is alright my love. I will take care of everything so put your heart at rest. We shall talk when I return but know how very dearly I love you."
"I love you," she anxiously replied, "I love you so very truly now, please believe me, I didn't really know you then and now that I do, I can't imagine living without you!"
"I know my love, I was angry but I understand and forgive you now. Read this when you awaken - I miss you already." He seemed to disappear in the fog and she resumed her sleep unsure if it had been a dream or if it had been reality.
Darcy had placed a letter on the mantle of her fireplace but when he shut the passageway door, a draft blew it from its place to where to lodged under the carpet.
Elizabeth woke the next morning and started out of bed. She searched the room for looking for what Darcy had left. When she could not locate anything, she came to the sad realization that it had been all a dream. She rang the bell and when Molly had completed her morning ritual of dressing and grooming her future mistress, Elizabeth ran downstairs in search of Darcy.
"Mrs. Reynolds, is Mr. Darcy in the breakfast room?"
"Why no, Miss. He and your uncle left almost an hour ago on some business. He said that you and Mrs. Gardiner would be also leaving, so that you could join him at your home. He ordered a carriage and a manservant to attend you. Is that your wish, Miss?"
Elizabeth was disappointed but conceded that was their plans. She joined Mrs. Gardiner and Georgiana in the breakfast room. After they had dined, Georgiana and Mrs. Annesley bid the travelers a sad farewell and wished to them that Mrs. Bennet was well, which was the excuse that Darcy had given his sister. With the exception of leaving Georgiana, Elizabeth was almost happy to leave Pemberley. It produced a feeling of regret in her causing her to lament - of all this she might have been mistress. Also, she could not bear to be there without Darcy. As fond as she was of Pemberley, it was his home and she would not have been able to reside there without him being constantly in her thoughts. There were others concerns for her to worry about and now finally, they were on the road home.
``I have been thinking it over again, Elizabeth,'' said her aunt as they drove; ``and really, upon serious consideration, I am much more inclined than I was to judge as your eldest sister does of the matter. It appears to me so very unlikely that any young man should form such a design against a girl who is by no means unprotected or friendless, and who was actually staying in his colonel's family, that I am strongly inclined to hope the best. Could he expect that her friends would not step forward? Could he expect to be noticed again by the regiment, after such an affront to Colonel Forster? His temptation is not adequate to the risk.''
``Do you really think so?'' cried Elizabeth, brightening up for a moment.
``Upon my word,'' said Mrs. Gardiner, ``It is really too great a violation of decency, honor, and interest, for him to be guilty of it. I cannot think so very ill of Wickham. Can you, yourself, Lizzy, so wholly give him up as to believe him capable of it?''
``Not perhaps of neglecting his own interest. But of every other neglect I can believe him capable. If, indeed, it should be so! But I dare not hope it. Why should they not go on to Scotland, if that had been the case?''
``In the first place,'' replied her aunt, ``there is no absolute proof that they are not gone to Scotland.''
``Oh! But their removing from the chaise into a hackney coach is such a presumption! And, besides, no traces of them were to be found on the Barnet road.''
``Well, then -- supposing them to be in London. They may be there, though, for the purpose of concealment, for no more exceptionable purpose. It is not likely that money should be very abundant on either side; and it might strike them that they could be more economically, though less expeditiously, married in London, than in Scotland.''
``But why all this secrecy? Why any fear of detection? Why must their marriage be private? Oh! no, no, this is not likely. His most particular friend, you see by Jane's account, was persuaded of his never intending to marry her. Wickham will never marry a woman without some money. He cannot afford it. And what claims has Lydia, what attractions has she beyond youth, health, and good humor, that could make him, for her sake, forgo every chance of benefiting himself by marrying well? His only thought can be Mr. Darcy's and Mr. Bingley's fortunes. But he rushes, for neither are related nor likely to be so after what he has done. As to what restraint the apprehension of disgrace in the corps might throw on a dishonorable elopement with her, I am not able to judge; for I know nothing of the effects that such a step might produce.''
``The fact that her sisters are marrying into two wealthy family, one family with which he is very familiar, might have left him to believe that it would be economically improving to him to pursue Lydia. But can you think that Lydia is so lost to every thing but love of him, as to consent to live with him on any other terms than marriage? And do you feel that Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy are so inconstant.''
``It does seem, and it is most shocking indeed,'' replied Elizabeth, with tears in her eyes, ``that a sister's sense of decency and virtue in such a point should admit of doubt. But, really, I know not what to say. Perhaps I am not doing her justice. But she is very young; she has never been taught to think on serious subjects; and for the last half year, nay, for a twelvemonth, she has been given up to nothing but amusement and vanity. She has been allowed to dispose of her time in the most idle and frivolous manner, and to adopt any opinions that came in her way. Since the ----shire were first quartered in Meryton, nothing but love, flirtation, and officers have been in her head. She has been doing every thing in her power, by thinking and talking on the subject, to give greater - what shall I call it? -- Susceptibility to her feelings, which are naturally lively enough. And we all know that Wickham has every charm of person and address that can captivate a woman. And as to Fitzwilliam and Mr. Bingley, only time will prove them so.''
``But you see that Jane,'' said her aunt, ``does not think so ill of Wickham as to believe him capable of the attempt.''
``Of whom does Jane ever think ill? And who is there, whatever might be their former conduct, that she would believe capable of such an attempt, till it were proved against them? But Jane does not know, as well as I do, what Wickham really is. I know that he has been profligate in every sense of the word. That he has neither integrity nor honor. That he is as false and deceitful, as he is insinuating.''
``And do you really know all this?'' cried Mrs. Gardiner, whose curiosity as to the mode of her intelligence was all alive.
``I do, indeed,'' replied Elizabeth, coloring. ``I have not told you of his infamous behavior to Mr. Darcy; He has lied and mistreated Mr. Darcy so abominably that I did not even know details myself until yesterday. And there are other circumstances which I am not at liberty -- which it is not worthwhile to relate; but his lies about the whole Pemberley family are endless. From what he said of Miss Darcy, I was thoroughly prepared to see a proud, reserved, disagreeable girl. Yet he knew to the contrary himself. He must know that she was amiable and unpretending as we have found her.''
``When they all removed to Brighton, therefore, you had no reason, I suppose, to believe them fond of each other.''
`Not the slightest. I can remember no symptom of affection on either side; and had any thing of the kind been perceptible, you must be aware that ours is not a family on which it could be thrown away. When first he entered the corps, she was ready enough to admire him; but so we all were. Every girl in or near Meryton was out of her senses about him for the first two months; but he never distinguished _her_ by any particular attention, and consequently, after a moderate period of extravagant and wild admiration, her fancy for him gave way, and others of the regiment who treated her with more distinction again became her favorites.''
It may be easily believed that, however little of novelty could be added to their fears, hopes, and conjectures, on this interesting subject by its repeated discussion, no other could detain them from it long, during the whole of the journey. From Elizabeth's thoughts it was never absent. Fixed there by the keenest of all anguish, self-reproach, she could find no interval of ease or forgetfulness.
They traveled as expeditiously as possible; and, sleeping one night on the road, reached Longbourn by dinnertime the next day. It was a comfort to Elizabeth to consider that Jane could not have been wearied by long expectations.
The little Gardiners, attracted by the sight of a chaise, were standing on the steps of the house as they entered the paddock; and when the carriage drove up to the door, the joyful surprise that lighted up their faces, and displayed itself over their whole bodies in a variety of capers and frisks, was the first pleasing earnest of their welcome.
Elizabeth jumped out; and, after giving each of them a hasty kiss, hurried into the vestibule, where Jane, who came running down stairs from her mother's apartment, immediately met her. Elizabeth, as she affectionately embraced her, whilst tears filled the eyes of both, lost not a moment in asking whether any thing had been heard of the fugitives.
``Not yet,'' replied Jane. ``But now that my dear uncle and Mr. Darcy have joined the search, I hope every thing will be well.''
``Is my father and Mr. Bingley in town?''
``Yes, they went on Tuesday, as I wrote you word.''
``And have you heard from them often?''
``We have heard only once. Charles wrote me a few lines on Wednesday, to say that they had arrived in safety, and Father wrote to give me his directions, which I particularly begged him to do. He merely added that he should not write again till he had something of importance to mention.''
``And my mother -- How is she? How are you all?''
``My mother is tolerably well, I trust; though her spirits are greatly shaken. She is up stairs, and will have great satisfaction in seeing you both. She does not yet leave her dressing-room. Mary and Kitty, thank Heaven! are quite well.''
``But you -- How are you?'' cried Elizabeth. ``You look pale. How much you must have gone through!''
Her sister, however, assured her of her being perfectly well; and their conversation, which had been passing while Mrs. Gardiner was engaged with her children, was now put an end to by the approach of the whole party. Jane ran to her aunt, and welcomed and thanked her, with alternate smiles and tears.
The sanguine hope of good, however, which the benevolence of Jane's heart suggested, had not yet deserted her; she still expected that it would all end well, and that every morning would bring some letter, either from Lydia or her father, to explain their proceedings, and perhaps announce the marriage.
Jane, at last, took Lizzie to visit her mother. She found her residing in her bed chamber, as always, taking no responsibility for Lydia's actions. She was afraid of the fact that Mr. Bennet would fight Wickham, which was highly unlikely in the presence of Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy, but feared since he had not fully recovered from his stroke and he would be killed. Her eldest daughters tried in vain to reassure her that would not be the case; but after a half hours attempt, they sought solace downstairs.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Posted on Saturday, 29 January 2005
Every day at Longbourn was now a day of anxiety; but the most anxious part of each was when the post was expected. The arrival of letters was the first grand object of every morning's impatience. Through letters, whatever of good or bad was to be told would be communicated, and every succeeding day was expected to bring some news of importance.
But before they heard again from Mr. Gardiner, a letter arrived for their father from a different quarter -- from Mr. Collins; which, as Jane had received directions to open all that came for him in his absence, she accordingly read; and Elizabeth, who knew what curiosities his letters always were, looked over her, and read it likewise. It was as follows:
The emotions that the letter produced in Elizabeth could best be described as fury. Jane did as best she could to calm her sister but had to allow that her feelings were affected by Mr. Collins' words.
That afternoon, however, brought more relief than was expected. An express from Mr. Bennet announced that Lydia had been found and proclaimed that she and Wickham were soon to be married. It seemed almost too much to believe, almost too good to be true. Their father would return home as their Uncle Gardiner would take care of the details in London and it was time that Mr. Bennet was home resting.
Elizabeth took the letter from his writing table, and they went up stairs together. Mary and Kitty were both with Mrs. Bennet: one communication would, therefore, do for all. After a slight preparation for good news, the letter was read aloud. Mrs. Bennet could hardly contain herself. As soon as Jane had read Mr. Bennet's hope of Lydia's being soon married, Mrs. Bennet's joy burst forth, and every following sentence added to its exuberance. She was now in an irritation as violent from delight, as she had ever been fidgety from alarm and vexation. To know that her daughter would be married was enough. She was disturbed by no fear for her felicity, nor humbled by any remembrance of her misconduct.
``My dear, dear Lydia!'' she cried: ``This is delightful indeed! -- She will be married! -- I shall see her again! -- She will be married at sixteen! -- My good, kind brother! - I knew how it would be -- I knew he would manage every thing. How I long to see her! And to see dear Wickham too! But the clothes, the wedding clothes! Lizzy, my dear, write to your father, and ask him how much he will give her. Stay, stay, I will do it myself. Ring the bell, Kitty, for Hill. I will put on my things in a moment. My dear, dear Lydia! -- How merry we shall be together when we meet!''
Her eldest daughter endeavored to give some relief to the violence of these transports, by leading her thoughts to the obligations which someone's behavior laid them all under. They knew not the particulars, but they were sure that a great deal of money had been laid out on Lydia's behalf.
``Well,'' cried her mother, ``Well! I am so happy. In a short time, I shall have three daughters married. Mrs. Wickham! How well it sounds. And she was only sixteen last June. My dear Jane, I am in such a flutter that I am sure I can't write; so I will dictate, and you write for me. We will settle with your father about the money afterwards; but the things should be ordered immediately.''
She was then proceeding to all the particulars of calico, muslin, and cambric, and would shortly have dictated some very plentiful orders, had not Jane, though with some difficulty, persuaded her to wait till her father was consulted. One day's delay, she observed, would be of small importance; and her mother was too happy to be quite so obstinate as usual. Other schemes, too, came into her head.
``I will go to Meryton,'' said she, ``as soon as I am dressed, and tell the good, good news to my sister Phillips. And as I come back, I can call on Lady Lucas and Mrs. Long. Kitty, run down and order the carriage. An airing would do me a great deal of good, I am sure. Girls, can I do any thing for you in Meryton? Oh! here comes Hill. My dear Hill, have you heard the good news? Miss Lydia is going to be married; and you shall all have a bowl of punch to make merry at her wedding.''
Mrs. Hill began instantly to express her joy. Elizabeth received her congratulations amongst the rest, and then, sick of this folly, took refuge in her own room, that she might think with freedom.
Poor Lydia's situation must, at best, be bad enough; but that it was no worse, she had need to be thankful. She felt it so; and though, in looking forward, neither rational happiness nor worldly prosperity could be justly expected for her sister, in looking back to what they had feared, only two hours ago, she felt all the advantages of what they had gained.
Mr. Gardiner soon wrote again to his wife begging her return to London. With Mr. Bennet returning, there was no need for her to stay at Longbourn. The other principal purport of his letter was to inform them that Mr. Wickham had resolved on quitting the Militia.
Jane and Elizabeth saw all the advantages of Wickham's removal from the ----shire as clearly as Mr. Gardiner could. But Mrs. Bennet was not so well pleased with it. Lydia's being settled in the North, just when she had expected most pleasure and pride in her company -- for she had by no means given up her plan of their residing in Hertfordshire -- was a severe disappointment; and besides, it was such a pity that Lydia should be taken from a regiment where she was acquainted with every body, and had so many favorites. So Mr. Bennet came home and Mrs. Gardiner returned to her husband. Mr. Bennet brought greetings to both of his elder daughters from their prospective beaus and assurances that they too would arrive at Longbourn soon. He could not help pulling the girls into his study and letting them know how proud he was of their choices. Mr. Bingley and especially, Mr. Darcy, had proven themselves invaluable in the search for Lydia.
"Mr. Darcy had been some days in town," Mr. Bennet began his narrative of the sad events, " before he was able to discover them; but he had something to direct his search, which was more than we had; and the consciousness of this was another reason for his resolving to follow us. There is a lady, it seems, a Mrs. Younge, who was some time ago governess to Miss Darcy, and was dismissed from her charge on some cause of disapprobation, though he did not say what. She then took a large house in Edward-street, and has since maintained herself by letting lodgings. This Mrs. Younge was, he knew, intimately acquainted with Wickham; and he went to her for intelligence of him as soon as he got to town. But it was two or three days before he could get from her what he wanted. She would not betray her trust, I suppose, without bribery and corruption, for she really did know where her friend was to be found. Wickham indeed had gone to her on their first arrival in London, and had she been able to receive them into her house, they would have taken up their abode with her. At length, however, our kind friend procured the wished-for direction. They were in ---- street."
"Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley went and saw Wickham, and afterwards insisted on seeing Lydia. They would not allow me to go because of my illness and that was probably wise in light of the following events. Their first object with her, they acknowledged, had been to persuade her to quit her present disgraceful situation, and return to her friends as soon as they could be prevailed on to receive her, offering their assistance, as far as it would go. But they found Lydia absolutely resolved on remaining where she was. She cared for none of her friends; she wanted no help of theirs; she would not hear of leaving Wickham. She was sure they should be married some time or other, and it did not much signify when. Since such were her feelings, it only remained, they thought, to secure and expedite a marriage, which, in their very first conversation with Wickham, they easily learnt had never been his design. He confessed himself obliged to leave the regiment, on account of some debts of honor, which were very pressing; and scrupled not to lay all the ill-consequences of Lydia's flight on her own folly alone. He meant to resign his commission immediately; and as to his future situation, he could conjecture very little about it. He must go somewhere, but he did not know where, and he knew he should have nothing to live on. Mr. Darcy asked him why he had not married your sister at once that perhaps I could have been able to do something for him, and his situation must have been benefited by marriage. But he found, in reply to this question, that Wickham still cherished the hope of more effectually making his fortune by marriage in some other country."
"Under such circumstances, however, he was not likely to be proof against the temptation of immediate relief. They met several times, for there was much to be discussed. Wickham of course wanted more than he could get; but at length was reduced to be reasonable. Every thing being settled between _them_, their next step was to make your uncle and myself acquainted with the details. Nothing was to be done that they did not do themselves. I battled with them for a long time, which was more than either the gentleman or lady concerned in it deserved. But at last I was forced to yield, and instead of being allowed to be of use to my daughter, I was forced to sit back and watch them handle everything."
The sisters were shocked to hear how much had been done for their sister and for two souls who did not deserve it. As Jane left, Mr. Bennet stopped Lizzie before she exited as well. ``My darling girl, I must tell you that Bingley confided that Darcy did every thing: made up the match, gave the money, paid the fellow's debts, and got him his commission! Something about it being due to his mistaken pride that Wickham's true character was not known but so much the better. It has saved me a world of trouble and economy. These violent young lovers carry every thing their own way. I have offered to pay him; he ranted and stormed about his love for you, and that was the end of the matter.''
Lizzie began to hope as she had not hoped before.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Posted on Saturday, 29 January 2005
THEIR sister's wedding day arrived; and Jane and Elizabeth felt for her probably more than she felt for herself. Despite Mr. Bennet's misgivings, Mrs. Bennet insisted that the happy couple visit Longbourn so the carriage was sent to meet them at ----, and they were to return in it by dinnertime. Their arrival was dreaded by the elder Miss Bennets, and Jane more especially, who gave Lydia the feelings which would have attended herself, had she been the culprit, and was wretched in the thought of what her sister must endure. They came. The family was assembled in the breakfast room to receive them. Smiles decked the face of Mrs. Bennet as the carriage drove up to the door; her husband looked impenetrably grave; her daughters, alarmed, anxious, and uneasy.
Lydia's voice was heard in the vestibule; the door was thrown open, and she ran into the room. Her mother stepped forwards, embraced her, and welcomed her with rapture; gave her hand, with an affectionate smile, to Wickham, who followed his lady; and wished them both joy with an alacrity which showed no doubt of their happiness.
Their reception from Mr. Bennet, to whom they then turned, was not quite so cordial. His countenance rather gained in austerity; and he scarcely opened his lips. The easy assurance of the young couple, indeed, was enough to provoke him. Elizabeth was disgusted, and even Miss Bennet was shocked. Lydia was Lydia still; untamed, unabashed, wild, noisy, and fearless. She turned from sister to sister, demanding their congratulations; and when at length they all sat down, looked eagerly round the room, took notice of some little alteration in it, and observed, with a laugh, that it was a great while since she had been there.
Wickham was not at all more distressed than herself, but his manners were always so pleasing, that had his character and his marriage been exactly what they ought, his smiles and his easy address, while he claimed their relationship, would have delighted them all. Elizabeth had not before believed him quite equal to such assurance; but she sat down, resolving within herself to draw no limits in future to the impudence of an impudent man. She blushed, and Jane blushed; but the cheeks of the two who caused their confusion suffered no variation of color.
News arrived after they had finished their luncheon that a party had returned to Netherfield and that, for certain, Mr. Bingley himself was a member. Jane and Elizabeth found solace from the circus that seemed now to be Longbourn in the hopes that long walks with gentlemen were in their near future.
The report was universally confirmed when Bingley himself arrived at Longbourn before dinnertime. Elizabeth was disappointed to see that he was alone and that his friend was not of the party. After pleasantries were exchanged, she inquired if he was at Netherfield. Bingley seemed confused but related that he returned to Pemberley but was expected to join him again within a week's time.
Days passed and Elizabeth heard nothing. Wickham and Lydia continued on as if nothing had been amiss in their behavior. In fact, Lydia made a point of letting everyone that she came into contact with know the fact that she was a married lady. She had in fact forgotten how the marriage came about and it made no difference to her. Jane and Elizabeth could hardly bear such displays and tried to avoid the happy couple as much as possible. For Jane, this was an easy task as would spend the days with Bingley. For Elizabeth, this was not so easy. When left alone, all she thought of was Darcy and when he would arrive.
She sought refuge out of doors which was her habit one afternoon to read a letter that had just arrived from Pemberley. The writing was unfamiliar, other than Darcy's but she still held out hope that it was from him. Upon opening it, she quickly scanned down to view the signature; it was from Molly and contained another letter within. Why Molly would be writing to her, she wondered. She just started to peruse the letter when she was roused from her seat, and her reflections, by some one's approach; and before she could strike into another path, she was overtaken by Wickham.
``I am afraid I interrupt your solitary ramble, my dear sister?'' said he, as he joined her.
``You certainly do,'' she replied with a smile; ``but it does not follow that the interruption must be unwelcome.''
``I should be sorry indeed, if it were. We were always good friends; and now we are better.''
``True. Are the others coming out?''
``I do not know. Mrs. Bennet and Lydia are going in the carriage to Meryton. And so, my dear sister, I find, from our uncle and aunt, that you have actually seen Pemberley.''
She replied in the affirmative.
``I almost envy you the pleasure, and yet I believe it would be too much for me, or else I could take it in my way to Newcastle. And you saw the old housekeeper, I suppose? Poor Reynolds, she was always very fond of me. But of course she did not mention my name to you.''
``Yes, she did.''
``And what did she say?''
``That you were gone into the army, and she was afraid had -- not turned out well. At such a distance as that, you know, things are strangely misrepresented.''
``Certainly,'' he replied, biting his lips. Elizabeth hoped she had silenced him; but he soon afterwards said, "I was surprised to see Darcy in town last month. We passed each other several times. I wonder what he can be doing there.''
``I believe it was to be of assistance to my father,'' said Elizabeth. ``but he may have other concerns there. It must be something particular, to take him there at this time of year.''
``Undoubtedly. You were at staying at Pemberley, were you not? I thought I understood from my dear Lydia that you and Mr. Darcy were engaged for a brief time. I must say that I was surprised for I did not know you were inclined in that direction.''
``You are correct: I was not, but we, all of us must try and think of our family," Elizabeth would not give him the satisfaction of knowing how his comment affected her and in her own way, referred more to the fact that Lydia had in actuality not thought of them before her flight. To change the subject, she added, "Miss Darcy and I are now friends.''
``And do you like her?''
``Very much.''
``I have heard, indeed, that she is uncommonly improved within this year or two. When I last saw her, she was not very promising. I am very glad you liked her. I hope she will turn out well.''
``I dare say she will; she has got over the most trying age.''
``Did you go by the village of Kympton?''
``I do not recollect that we did although the name is familiar.''
``I mention it, because it is the living which I ought to have had. A most delightful place! -- Excellent Parsonage House! It would have suited me in every respect.''
``How should you have liked making sermons?''
``Exceedingly well. I should have considered it as part of my duty, and the exertion would soon have been nothing. One ought not to repine; -- but, to be sure, it would have been such a thing for me! The quiet, the retirement of such a life would have answered all my ideas of happiness! But it was not to be. Did you ever hear Darcy mention the circumstance, when you were in Kent?''
``I have heard from authority, which I thought as good, that it was left you conditionally only, and at the will of the present patron.''
``You have. Yes, there was something in that; I told you so from the first, you may remember.''
``I did hear, too, that there was a time, when sermon-making was not so palatable to you as it seems to be at present; that you actually declared your resolution of never taking orders, and that the business had been compromised accordingly.''
``You did! and it was not wholly without foundation. You may remember what I told you on that point, when first we talked of it.''
They were now almost at the door of the house, for she had walked fast to get rid of him; and unwilling, for her sister's sake, to provoke him, she only said in reply, with a good-humored smile,
``Come, Mr. Wickham, we are brother and sister, you know. Do not let us quarrel about the past. In future, I hope we shall be always of one mind.''
She held out her hand; he kissed it with affectionate gallantry, though he hardly knew how to look, and they entered the house.
Elizabeth would not let him know how distressed she was. Why would Lydia say that they had been engaged for a short time? Had he planned to just forget her and never return? She ran to her room, with Molly's correspondence still in her hand, and laid it on her dressing table. She cast herself down on the bed and tried to make sense of it all but it would not become clear to her. She longed for Jane to come to her but Jane was occupied with Bingley; she could not take her away from him for her own selfishness. She tossed in the bed and suddenly, her emotions took her over and she cried herself to sleep.
MY DEAR SIR,
I feel myself called upon by our relationship, and my situation in life, to condole with you on the grievous affliction you are now suffering under, of which we were yesterday informed by a letter from Hertfordshire. Be assured, my dear Sir, that Mrs. Collins and myself sincerely sympathize with you, and all your respectable family, in your present distress, which must be of the bitterest kind, because proceeding from a cause which no time can remove. No arguments shall be wanting on my part that can alleviate so severe a misfortune; or that may comfort you, under a circumstance that must be of all others most afflicting to a parent's mind. The death of your daughter would have been a blessing in comparison of this. And it is the more to be lamented, because there is reason to suppose, as my dear Charlotte informs me, that this licentiousness of behavior in your daughter has proceeded from a faulty degree of indulgence, though at the same time, for the consolation of yourself and Mrs. Bennet, I am inclined to think that her own disposition must be naturally bad, or she could not be guilty of such an enormity at so early an age. Howsoever that may be, you are grievously to be pitied, in which opinion I am not only joined by Mrs. Collins, but likewise by Lady Catherine and her daughter, to whom I have related the affair. They agree with me in apprehending that this false step in one daughter will be injurious to the fortunes of all the others; for who, as Lady Catherine herself condescendingly says, will connect themselves with such a family. And this consideration leads me moreover to reflect with augmented satisfaction on a certain event of last November, for had it been otherwise, I must have been involved in all your sorrow and disgrace. Let me advise you then, my dear Sir, to console yourself as much as possible, to throw off your unworthy child from your affection for ever, and leave her to reap the fruits of her own heinous offence.
I am, dear Sir, &c. &c.It was greatly my wish that he should do so as soon as his marriage was fixed on. And I think you will agree with me in considering a removal from that corps as highly advisable, both on his account and my niece's. It is Mr. Wickham's intention to go into the regulars; and, among his former friends, there are still some who are able and willing to assist him in the army. He has the promise of an ensigncy in General ----'s regiment, now quartered in the North. It is an advantage to have it so far from this part of the kingdom. He promises fairly; and, I hope, among different people, where they may each have a character to preserve, they will both be more prudent. I have written to Colonel Forster, to inform him of our present arrangements, and to request that he will satisfy the various creditors of Mr. Wickham in and near Brighton with assurances of speedy payment, for which I have pledged myself. And will you give yourself the trouble of carrying similar assurances to his creditors in Meryton, of whom I shall subjoin a list, according to his information. He has given in all his debts; I hope at least he has not deceived us. Haggerston has our directions, and all will be completed in a week. They will then join his regiment, unless they are first invited to Longbourn; and I understand that my niece is very desirous of seeing you all, before she leaves the South. She is well, and begs to be dutifully remembered to you all and to her mother. -
Yours, &c.
E. GARDINER.
© 2005 Copyright held by the author.