Section I, Next Section
Chapter One Posted on Wednesday, 29 December 2004
When they were gone, Elizabeth, as if intending to exasperate herself as much as possible against Mr. Darcy, chose for her employment the examination of all the letters which Jane had written to her since her being in Kent. They contained no actual complaint, nor were there any revival of past occurrences, or any communication of present suffering. But in all, and in almost every line of each, there was a want of that cheerfulness which had been used to characterize her style, and which, proceeding from the serenity of a mind at ease with itself, and kindly disposed towards every one, had been scarcely ever clouded.
Elizabeth noticed every sentence conveying the idea of uneasiness with an attention which it had hardly received on the first perusal. Mr. Darcy's shameful boast of what misery he had been able to inflict gave her a keener sense of her sister's sufferings. It was some consolation to think that his visit to Rosings was to end on the day after the next, and a still greater that in less than a fortnight she should herself be with Jane again, and enabled to contribute to the recovery of her spirits by all that affection could do.
She could not think of Darcy's leaving Kent without remembering that his cousin was to go with him; but Colonel Fitzwilliam had made it clear that he had no intentions at all, and agreeable as he was, she did not mean to be unhappy about him.
While settling this point, she was suddenly roused by the sound of the door bell, and her spirits were a little fluttered by the idea of its being Colonel Fitzwilliam himself, who had once before called late in the evening, and might now come to enquire particularly after her. It was not Colonel Fitzwilliam. A servant entered and informed Elizabeth that an express had been delivered for her. She hurriedly took the letter from the servant and examined it. It was from Jane although her writing was hurried, not in her usual elegant hand. She was surprised to hear from Jane so soon again but it was a pleasant surprise for she missed her sister dearly. She thanked the servant whom left her then.
"Oh Jane, dearest Jane, I hope that your spirits are better," she thought opening the binding on the envelope. But Jane was not better, dreadful things were contained within.
My dearest Lizzy,I am writing you to request that you come home as soon as can be arranged. Papa has taken seriously ill, in truth, I regret to tell you we feel that death is near. Monday, Papa was in his library all day. When he did not appear for dinner, Hill went to fetch him and found him unconscious in his chair. Mr. Jones has informed us that he suffered a stroke. While he is still unconscious, Mr. Jones assures us that he is not suffering.
"Oh God, not Papa, I must get home" Elizabeth thought as she returned to the letter, tears forming in her eyes.
Mama has taken to her room in hysterics about what will happen to us all. I hope that you will not think unkindly of me but I feel that she has been most unthoughtful to us both. She continually goes on about you, Lizzy. 'If only Elizabeth had married Mr. Collins, we would all be taken care of. Unthoughtful girl, always thinking of herself.' I hope that you will not let this upset you but I thought it best to warn you before you returned home.She is also unkind to me, blaming me for not marrying Mr. Bingley. She insists that I must have done something to make him leave Netherfield! It is almost more than I can bear. If she only knew how much this hurts me, it must be her nerves for she would never grievously offend her children. I am sure of that.
I must go my dearest sister for I must relieve Kitty as Papa's bedside. I hope to see you by the week end.
Lovingly,
Jane
"Oh dear, I must arrange to get home. I must write immediately to my uncle Gardiner to see if he can send his servant to meet me on the next coach." Elizabeth paced the room excitedly, tears streaming down her face. She determined, she must go to Rosings to inform the Collinses of this important news since she would need their help in arranging for the trip home. "Yes, I must go, I must." She was headed for the door when the servant entered. She had been too distracted to hear the second knock on the door.
"If you please mum, you have a visitor, Mr. Darcy." She stepped aside to reveal the man himself with what could only be described as a shocked look on his face.
Chapter Two Posted on Wednesday, 29 December 2004
In a hurried manner Darcy immediately began an enquiry after her health, imputing his visit to a wish of hearing that she were better but he could see that she was decidedly not so. Her pale face and impetuous manner made him start, and before he could recover himself enough to speak, she, in whose mind every idea was superseded by her father's situation, hastily exclaimed, ``I beg your pardon, but I must leave you. I must find Mr. Collins this moment, on business that cannot be delayed; I have not a moment to lose.''
``Good God! What is the matter?'' cried he, with more feeling than politeness; then recollecting himself, ``I will not detain you a minute, but let me, or let the servant, go after Mr. and Mrs. Collins. You are not well enough -- you cannot go yourself.''
Elizabeth hesitated, but her knees trembled under her, and she felt how little would be gained by her attempting to pursue them. Calling back the servant, therefore, she commissioned her, though in so breathless an accent as made her almost unintelligible, to fetch her master and mistress home instantly.
On her quitting the room, Elizabeth sat down, unable to support herself, and looking so miserably ill that it was impossible for Darcy to leave her, or to refrain from saying, in a tone of gentleness and commiseration, ``Let me call your maid. Is there nothing you could take, to give you present relief? - A glass of wine - shall I get you one? You are very ill.''
``No, I thank you;'' she replied, endeavoring to recover herself. ``There is nothing the matter with me. I am quite well. I am only distressed by some dreadful news which I have just received from Longbourn.''
She burst into tears as she alluded to it, and for a few minutes could not speak another word. Darcy, in wretched suspense, could only say something indistinctly of his concern, and observe her in compassionate silence. At length, she spoke again. ``I have just had a letter from Jane, with such dreadful news. My father has taken seriously ill. He is probably near death. I must get home immediately."
Darcy was deeply saddened by hearing this. He was not particularly attached to Mr. Bennet, in fact, he was at times alarmed at Mr. Bennet's behavior towards his wife. However, he knew that the bond between Elizabeth and her father was very great and that she would truly suffer at his loss.
"I am truly sorry. Miss Bennet, I know how much your father means to you because your closeness reminds me of my relationship with my own father. I will do whatever is in my power to assist you on your journey home. Can you possibly be ready by daybreak?"
"Of course, but what good will that do?"
"I will secure the use of one of Lady Catherine's carriages and I will personally escort you and Miss Lucas back to Longbourn."
Elizabeth was shocked at this, this great kindness from a man she hardly knew but detested. "Mr. Darcy, I thank you for your kindness but I don't think that would be proper. For two young ladies to travel with an unmarried man who is a relation to neither would be unthinkable."
Darcy looked distracted and said, "Right, of course, forgive me. I will still arrange for Lady Catherine's carriage and for Mr. and Mrs. Collins to attend you. Would that be acceptable?"
Elizabeth was grateful for this. She thanked him and was relieved to know that she would be able to leave at first light. If she had to write her Uncle Gardiner, it would have taken several days to return home. This way, she would see her father soon, hopefully soon enough.
"Mr. Darcy, I don't know how to thank you - mere words seem insufficient to convey what this means to me. If you would please excuse me; however, it seems that I have to collect myself and prepare to leave."
Darcy looked disappointed at her words and she could not understand why. He could no longer resist and at last spoke, "Please Miss Bennet, there is something that I would like to say to you."
He sat down for a few moments, and then getting up, walked about the room. Elizabeth was surprised, but said not a word. After a silence of several minutes, he came towards her in an agitated manner, and thus began,
``In vain have I struggled. It will not do. Please forgive my poor timing Miss Bennet. I'm afraid that if I don't say this now, I may never get the chance again. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.''
Elizabeth's astonishment was beyond expression. She stared, colored, doubted, and was silent. This he considered sufficient encouragement, and the avowal of all that he felt and had long felt for her immediately followed. He spoke well but mentioned that he family would disapprove of the connection but, under the present circumstances, his feelings must be regarded.
In spite of her deeply-rooted dislike, she could not be insensible to the compliment of such a man's affection as well as the great kindness he just performed. He concluded with representing to her the strength of that attachment which, in spite of all his endeavors, he had found impossible to conquer; and with expressing his hope that it would now be rewarded by her acceptance of his hand. As he said this, she could easily see that he had no doubt of a favorable answer. He _spoke_ of apprehension and anxiety, but his countenance expressed real security. Such a circumstance could only exasperate farther, and when he ceased, the color rose into her cheeks, and she said,
"Mr. Darcy, I, that is I, never imagined" Elizabeth searched for words but her thoughts were distracted. She could only think of her repulsion of him. Despite his kindness to her, she did not and felt she could not love him. But then she thought of Jane's letter - what would become of them should father die. Mr. Collins could legally turn them out as soon as he wished. Mr. Darcy was rich and could provide for her family. But no, she hated him, she had insulted her even while professing his love for her.
She turned and looked at him and simply said, "Yes, Mr. Darcy, I will marry you." She turned away from him then and burst into tears. "For my family..." she muttered under her breath.
Chapter Three Posted on Wednesday, 29 December 2004
Darcy's happiness which this reply produced, was such as he had probably never felt before; and he expressed himself on the occasion as sensibly and as warmly as a man violently in love can be supposed to do. Had Elizabeth been able to encounter his eye, she might have seen how well the expression of heartfelt delight, diffused over his face, became him.
But she did not see for her sobbing continued. He was pulled from his state of euphoria by the sounds of her sobs. Realizing what a selfish creature he was being, he moved across the room towards her and put his hands on her arms in an attempt to comfort her. He thought that her discomfort must be for her father. "Of course, darling," he stopped, smiled slightly for the gratification that she was truly to be his, "will you be well if I leave you. Truly it pains me to leave you in such distress but I think that I will be doing more for you by leaving."
Elizabeth felt the truth of this statement although its meaning was different to him. "I will return myself to Rosings and arrange anything. I will travel to London to Mr. Bingley's asking him to travel with Colonel Fitzwilliam and myself to Netherfield." At this Elizabeth looked at him for the first time since agreeing to be his wife. "I will be at Netherfield by week's end to speak to your father for his consent."
"Don't worry Elizabeth," pausing and reflecting on his being able to call her by her name, "he shall recover. He must." She smiled a small smile of hope.
"I, of course, will not announce to anyone our engagement until I have spoken to your father. I ask your permission though to make Charles and Colonel Fitzwilliam aware of it. It maybe be necessary to persuade them of the urgency with which we need to travel to Netherfield. Have I your consent my dearest?"
Elizabeth shuddered at the sound of his voice calling her 'his dearest,' and yet she was touched. Not only by his sweetness and tenderness, but even more by his strength. Never in her life had she needed to lean on anyone, yet here, in her darkest hour was this man. He was deciding everything and she was relieved to feel much of the burden of her situation lifted from her.
"Yes, you may tell them if you feel it necessary," she said quietly allowing her sobbing to cease.
"I shall go now then and take care of everything. Rest assured, dearest Elizabeth, you will on the road at first light. Go, pack your bags. Mrs. Collins shall return home soon to assist. Good bye, my love." He took her hand into his and kissed it gently. With one last look into her eyes, he was gone.
Elizabeth was left to her thoughts now. She was to be Mr. Darcy's wife. She, who had always despised him, would now spend the rest of her life with him. It was too painful to reflect upon. She had to do it; there was no way around it. If Mr. Bennet died, she would be turned out with little money. She could be forced to take a governess position. That thought, while not unbearable, would not be the worst of the situation. What of her sister or even worse, her mother.
No, in succumbing to this proposal, she would be providing for all her family and she had to think of the greater good. Of course, there were no guarantees that Mr. Darcy would provide for them. A terrible thought entered her head. What if he turned them out? He had ignored his own father's wishes and denied Wickham his inheritance. If he could do that, he could easily forget about her family.
"I shall have to ascertain his intentions towards my family. But it will not matter if Papa recovers, for he will never give his consent. If Papa does not recover," she thought as another stray tear grazed her cheek, "Mama will be concerned enough about her situation to inquire if asked for her consent.
She realized that she had wasted a quarter of an hour in thought when there were things that needed attending to. She rose and proceeded upstairs to pack and prepare for tomorrow.
Chapter Four Posted on Wednesday, 29 December 2004
Elizabeth was just finishing her trunk when she heard her friend Charlotte call to her from the stairs.
"Lizzy, Lizzy, may I come in?"
Elizabeth was already opening the door as this last statement was uttered. Charlotte was deeply affected by the sight before her. Her good friend, nay her best friend, had obviously been crying and for some time.
"Oh Lizzy, I came as soon as Mr. Darcy told me. The servant, Bessie, was not allowed to interrupt us at dinner. Lady Catherine forbade it. Although, Mr. Darcy came in before the meal was over and told me that you needed me at once. He then explained about your father." Charlotte, a true and loyal friend always also began to cry and embraced Lizzy. Lizzy could not withstand so much emotion with fortitude so joined her friend in a good cry.
Finally, they parted and Charlotte tried to comfort her friend the best that she could. "Lizzy, it is possible that Jane has exaggerated his illness? It is possible that your father will make a full recovery. There is that chance you know. Mr. Jones has said for years that old Mrs. Coneroy would die within three months. He was wrong there, wasn't he?"
Elizabeth could not answer for she was choked up with emotion. There was the possibility but before she could allow it, her friend proceeded.
"Now, we must get you packed. How will you travel home? Did Jane's letter provide any means?" Charlotte asked.
"No, Mr. Darcy said that he would take care of it all. He would procure one of Lady Catherine's carriages to take Maria, Mr. Collins, you and me to Longbourn. Did he not mention anything to you?"
Charlotte looked surprised but added, "No, but he was conversing with Mr. Collins as I left. He seemed to think it urgent that I get home, which obviously was correct. I'm sorry Lizzy. that I wasn't here when you received the letter. What brought Mr. Darcy here?"
Elizabeth considered opening her heart to her friend but recollected that it was she and her husband that were her father's heirs. She thought that if she told Charlotte her reasoning for accepting Mr. Darcy, her friend would feel guilty for nothing could acquit of the outcome of the entail. "I know not, I had already read the letter when he arrived and our conversation was all based on it I'm afraid."
Her friend had a smirk of realization on her face but said nothing. Elizabeth was glad of it. Charlotte would know eventually but not tonight. Her thoughts were too painful and there was work to be done.
Mr. Collins was soon heard calling for his wife. "My dear, we must pack immediately for we travel at first light to Hertfordshire! Colonel Fitzwilliam will see us to Bromley where we will switch from one of Lady Catherine's carriages; I say one for she has many, to the Post. He will take care of all our passages on behalf of Mr. Darcy. Such condescension on his part, such care to detail for people with whom he is so wholly unconnected."
"Mr. Collins, please!" interjected his wife.
"Forgive me my dear. We must ready ourselves though. The Colonel will be here at first light!" He turned and left the room while shouting orders to the servants. Charlotte started to follow but then turned to her friend.
"Elizabeth, I shall go and leave you now unless you want me to stay. I can have the servants pack my things."
"No, Charlotte, I thank you but I am almost done myself and I need to try and rest for the long journey."
Charlotte smiled at her, a knowing smile, and turned and left Elizabeth to her thoughts.
"He must truly care for me to go to such trouble. Well, for that I am grateful. It is comforting to know that he is not all bad." Elizabeth closed her trunk and notified the servants that it was ready to take down. She changed her garments and slid quietly into her bed. There were no preoccupations now to busy her thoughts. All she could think of was the state of her father and her agreement with Mr. Darcy. She felt that unless Mr. Bennet recovered she would never know what it was to be happy again. With this sad thought, she drifted to sleep.
Chapter Five Posted on Saturday, 1 January 2005
Elizabeth was ready before the sun rose for she had slept a restless sleep. She dreamt that she would not make it home in time, and it made her all the more anxious to be on the road for home. Mr. and Mrs. Collins were surprised when they first stirred to find Lizzy waiting fully prepared in the foyer. They, along with Maria, were bringing their bags down when two gentlemen arrived with a carriage.
"My dear, my dear, they are here and we have not even eaten breakfast yet!" Mr. Collins said. He then turned to his servant and asked that the baggage be taken out to the carriage.
The two gentlemen were shown in by the housekeeper. Mr. Darcy went to Elizabeth while the Colonel went to see what assistance he could be loading the carriage. "Good morning, my dearest," Mr. Darcy said in a low tone so as not to be overheard, "I hope you slept well?"
The thought of her night's sleep brought back the thoughts which had kept her up. She, with tears welling up, told him how she had not. Before another word was uttered, he took her hand in his and gave her reassurances that all would be fine. "Yes, yes," she thought, "I must think positively."
"Now, I hate to see you go my love but I think you must. Remember, I will see you soon for I will be at Netherfield in days. I hope that your journey will be as comfortable as possible. Colonel Fitzwilliam will journey with you to Bromley and then meet me in London. I hope that is agreeable?"
"Yes, thank you sir for all your assistance, it is more than I hoped for. You have no idea what it means to me."
"Elizabeth, I would do anything for you." The sentiment of such a statement from such a man produced a sense of wonder in her. She truly felt gratitude and knew not how she would have handled this day if he had not been able to get her on the road. "But, let's get you all settled in the carriage," said loud enough for all to hear.
Mr. Collins looked up "But sir, we not have eaten" and he stopped. The look the man produced was enough to put the clergyman in silence for he would not dare go against the wishes of Mr. Darcy and through him, his patroness Lady Catherine. He proceeded with his wife to the carriage and dared not speak again. For Mr. Darcy was a man of such stature that Mr. Collins would never risk offending.
Mr. Darcy had Elizabeth's hand in his arm. "I would kiss you goodbye but I'm afraid your cousin the clergyman would not approve unless we betray our secret. So I will just say good bye my love, until the week's end." He opened the carriage door and handed her up.
"I thank you again sir. Your kindness is an example for everyone." She smiled at him which generated the same in him. The look on his face was full of love and great happiness. Elizabeth saw him in a whole new light. In the length of their acquaintance, she had never seen him look as handsome as he did now. There was none of his previous harshness or disdain in his looks, just complaisance. He bowed slightly and offered his wishes to the Collinses and Miss Lucas for a quick and safe trip.
Colonel Fitzwilliam, the last to approach the carriage, was stopped by his cousin. "Take care of her, Fitzwilliam, she is everything to me."
"Don't worry cousin, you have my word. I never thought I would see this day when you would be engaged, I thought no woman would be able to tempt you! But I have to say the woman that you chose is exquisite. Had fortune not been a factor, I might have challenged you for her, dear cousin. But, as it is, I will be only too happy to perform this commission for you. I shall see you in London in a few days." The gentlemen shook hands and Mr. Darcy turned and mounted his horse. The colonel spoke a word to the driver and joined the rest of the party in the carriage. He tapped his walking stick twice to the roof and the carriage started to pull away. Elizabeth felt herself drawn to the window. He was watching her leave with a look of sadness now on his face. She gave a small smile and watched until the carriage pulled her from his sight.
"How long until we reach Bromley, do you suppose?" Mr. Collins asked while nonchalantly rubbing his stomach. Mrs. Collins flashed him a look but in turning hit something large on the floor.
"What's this, my dear, did you put this in here?" Mrs. Collins asked her husband pulling up a large basket from the floor. "Why it is full of food! Sandwiches, scones, biscuits and drinks! And a note addressed to you Lizzy!" A look of excitement crossed the parson's face, not because of the note, but because his appetite would be gratified.
"Just a little something we brought from Rosings to make the journey more enjoyable. Miss Bennet, let me take this opportunity to say how I hope your father is well and I truly wish for your every happiness." The colonel said this with a smile so warm that Elizabeth knew he was aware of the agreement between her and Mr. Darcy and he seemed to greatly approve. He was a man of sense and reason; he had seemed to care for her before, would his allegiance to Darcy allow him to approve of her making a mistake? He knew Mr. Darcy better than anyone and seemed to rejoice under the circumstances. Maybe there was more to Mr. Darcy than she knew.
Her thoughts preoccupied her but she was drawn out by Maria saying, "I wonder who the note is from Lizzy?"
"Ah, the thoughtfulness of Lady Catherine. She takes such thought to details, first this basket and a note with her thoughts. She is an example to us all. Her own beloved nephew to travel with us on our journey and another to see us off! You should be grateful dear cousin for the attention that she pays to you!"
Elizabeth took the letter from Mrs. Collins and found it was not from the Aunt but from the nephew. It was short and in a neat hand said:
My dearest;I know that we have just said goodbye but I must tell you that I'm sure that I already miss you. I hope enjoy this food on your journey. I was sure that you would not eat before you left Hunsford but your father will need your strength. Have a good journey my love.
Until I see you again,
FD
Elizabeth closed the letter and tucked it in her cloak. No one observed except Mrs. Collins who said nothing but could not keep a smile from her lips.
Chapter Six Posted on Saturday, 1 January 2005
After the change to the post, Elizabeth, still quieted by the events of the last few days, allowed herself to drift off to some much needed sleep. Mr. Darcy had been right, she would have to take care of herself to keep her strength. She had forced herself to eat a sandwich while still in Lady Catherine's carriage. Now, their party was down to four with the Colonel having left to meet his cousin in London. Therefore, there was less conversation in the carriage and this allowed Elizabeth's slumber.
"Lizzy, Lizzy, we are in Meryton, wake up! Wake up!" She opened her eyes to see her friend looking at her earnestly. "We are here and there is a carriage waiting from Longbourn."
"Oh, thank goodness, I was hoping they would receive my express and the carriage would be here." Lizzy jumped up and alighted the carriage. Her bags were already being transferred to her family carriage.
"Go, Lizzy, we will notify my family that we have arrived and travel to Lucas Lodge. Please send me word of how your father is." Miss Lucas smiled as her friend. It was a hard situation for Mr. and Mrs. Collins were Mr. Bennet's beneficiaries. It could have been viewed as mercenary, her thoughts on Mr. Bennet's condition, but Elizabeth knew better. The tears in her friend's eyes were of true concern, not only for Mr. Bennet but for his daughters as well.
Elizabeth, now alone for the first time all day, could not believe that she would be seeing her father so soon. She felt all the more trepidations as the view of Longbourn came into sight. Her sister Jane came out of the house as she saw the carriage arriving. This sent chills down Elizabeth's back - would she do so if it were not urgent? Of course, she realized, she was being silly. Jane, her favorite sister, would always come to greet her on returning.
As the carriage slowed to a stop, Lizzy jumped down. "Jane, my dear, what news have you?" she said while the sisters embraced.
"I'm afraid, not much that was not in my letter. Papa has not regained consciousness but seems to be resting comfortably. Mr. Jones was here earlier and did not change his prognosis. Mama is in her room and Kitty sits with Papa now." The sisters entered the house and immediately went to the sick room. Kitty did not embrace her sister but simply moved out of her way. It was generally known in the family that Lizzy was her father's favorite and that she, in return, dearly loved her father.
Elizabeth was taken back at what was before her. Her beloved father was lying before her but yet it was not her father. His vigor was gone. He was pale, drawn, even sullen looking. It had been but a few weeks since she had seen him and the change in him struck her. She slid her hand into his, lowered her head, and silently cried.
Jane tried to remove her sister. "Come, you must eat something and let Mama know that you are home. Then you must rest for you have had a long journey today."
"I'm sorry Jane, but I can't leave Papa, at least not yet." Her sisters knew that they could not persuade her. They decided it was best to give her some time alone with their father and quietly left the room.
"Oh Papa, please don't leave us. If only you knew what I've done. I need you; we all need you." And there Lizzy stayed throughout the night until Jane, this time assisted by their sister Kitty, were able to convince Lizzy to leave her vigil. They had to promise though that they would get her if there was any change to report.
Before retiring, she stopped at her mother's door. She could her mother from the hall talking to Hill. "What will become of us? What about my nerves? Hill, fetch my smelling salts, hurry!" Lizzy continued down the hall to her room to rest.
Chapter Seven Posted on Saturday, 1 January 2005
After a few hours slumber, Elizabeth readied herself to face her family. She left her chambers after dressing herself, for she felt she could not wait for her maid. When coming downstairs, she found her sisters assembled in the breakfast room. Jane, seeing her surprise at seeing them assembled, spoke first to her.
"Dear Lizzy, you are awake, come and eat with us. The doctor is now with Papa so you must wait to see him."
She took her usual seat next to her sister asking, "Mr. Jones has come to examine Father?"
"No, it is a different doctor, Dr. March. He came this morning from London; he is a specialist in strokes and he has come to see our father. Our dear Uncle Gardiner must have sent him." Jane, who for the first time since Lizzy returned, smiled and her sister could see that she was truly hopeful. "After you eat, you must go to our mother. She has been asking for you all morning."
"Ah yes, I suppose that I can not prolong our meeting any longer. I must confess, after your letter telling how upset she is with me, I have not been looking forward to meeting with her."
When she had eaten a few bites, she rose from the table and headed to her mother's chamber upstairs. "Mama, may I come in? It's me, Lizzy. I'm glad to be home. Is there anything that I can get you?"
"Well, Lizzy,'' said Mrs. Bennet, `` what do you think of this business with your poor father? What will become of us?" continued her mother soon afterwards, ``and so the Collinses live very comfortable, do they? Well, well, I only hope it will last. And what sort of table do they keep? Charlotte is an excellent manager, I dare say. If she is half as sharp as her mother, she is saving enough. There is nothing extravagant in their housekeeping, I dare say.''
``No, nothing at all.''
``A great deal of good management, depend upon it. Yes, yes. They will take care not to outrun their income. They will never be distressed for money. Well, much good may it do them! And so, I suppose, they often talk of having Longbourn when your father is dead. They look upon it quite as their own, I dare say, and are preparing right now for it to happen.''
``It was a subject which they could not mention before me.''
``No. It would have been strange if they had. But I make no doubt, they often talk of it between themselves. Well, if they can be easy with an estate that is not lawfully their own, so much the better. I should be ashamed of having one that was only entailed on me. And we shall all be out on the streets. If only you had married him!''
"Mama, please. It may not matter. Did you know that a special doctor is downstairs right now with Papa from London?
"No, but it is a hopeless matter, child. I have not a hope that your father will come back to me."
"No, you should have married Mr. Collins and Jane....what is your opinion now of this sad business of Jane's? For my part, I am determined never to speak of it again to anybody. I told my sister Philips so the other day. But I cannot find out that Jane saw any thing of Mr. Bingley in London. Well, he is a very undeserving young man -- and I do not suppose there is the least chance in the world of her ever getting him now. There is no talk of his coming to Netherfield again; and I have enquired of every body, too, who is likely to know.''
"Mama, Mr. Bingley is coming back to Netherfield and will be here by week's end."
``Oh, well! it is just as he chooses." Her mother continued, not hearing what her daughter had said, "nobody wants him to come. Though I shall always say that he used my daughter extremely ill; and if I was her, I would not have put up with it. Well, my comfort is, I am sure Jane will die of a broken heart, and then he will be sorry for what he has done.''
"Mama, Mr. Bingley will be back at Netherfield any day now." Her daughter said these words with more emphasis, not to be dramatic but in an attempt to make her mother understand.
"What Child? He is coming back? How do you know this?" Elizabeth felt uncomfortable now, for she would have to explain her knowledge of this.
"I had occasion to speak with his friends at Rosings Park and they informed me that Mr. Bingley would in all likelihood be arriving at Netherfield presently." It was not a lie, but she had not revealed any more to her mother than she had wanted to. She was relieved to see that her mother was so moved by the information that she asked no more questions.
"Oh Lizzy, if we can only get them together! It will be such a relief to have a daughter married!" It would be the answer to everything; they would not be destitute without Mr. Bennet. It was, moreover, such a promising thing for her younger daughters, as Jane's marrying so greatly must throw them in the way of other rich men; and lastly, it was so pleasant at her time of life to be able to consign her single daughters to the care of their sister, that she might not be obliged to go into company more than she liked.
With her mother still rambling about weddings and wedding clothes, Elizabeth left her mother to confide in Jane and hear what news the doctor had to provide.
Chapter Eight Posted on Saturday, 1 January 2005
Elizabeth returned to the breakfast room to find a strange man conversing to her elder sister. "I am greatly concerned about his condition. He has no response on his right side and there is fluid in his lungs. I have told the staff that he must be propped up to an angle and moved twice daily." He stopped there noticing the young lady who had entered the room.
"Dr. March, this is my sister, Miss Elizabeth Bennet." The doctor smiled oddly, a familiar smile like he knew her.
"Ah, Miss Elizabeth, it is a pleasure to meet you. I have just been informing your sisters here about the condition of your father. I am very concerned but I think that this next week is critical."
"Critical, sir?"
"Yes, miss. I have given him medication to help with the anemia and hopefully to regain consciousness. But if the fluid in his lungs continues to build, I fear the worst."
The sisters gasped, shocked. Kitty began to cry but the doctor continued, "now there, there Miss. There is still hope and a little prayer never hurt. I'm staying at the Meryton Inn, if there is any change, send for me at once." He grabbed his cloak and hat and started for the door. "I will be back tomorrow by mid morning, until then ladies."
It was Kitty's turn to sit with their father so Elizabeth suggested to her elder sister that they take a walk around the grounds, that they both could us the fresh air. Jane was surprised that Lizzy was willing to leave their father but sensed that she wanted to talk to her and quickly agreed.
Elizabeth knew not where to begin. She wanted to tell her beloved sister everything but she could not find the words. She didn't want Jane to think that she was marrying Darcy just for her family. She knew that her sister could not bear to see Elizabeth sacrifice herself on her behalf. She couldn't tell her about Darcy's hand in Bingley's leaving and should she tell her that he would soon be back?"
Her thoughts were racing but the sound of her sister's voice made her focus. "Lizzy, what is it? I know how much you love father but there is hope, you heard the doctor!"
Elizabeth was aware that no one in the family liked Darcy but Jane; and even feared that with the others it was a _dislike_ which not all his fortune and consequence might do away. Finally, she opened her heart to Jane. Though suspicion was very far from Miss Bennet's general habits, she was absolutely incredulous here.
``You are joking, Lizzy. This cannot be! - engaged to Mr. Darcy! No, no, you shall not deceive me. I know it to be impossible.''
``This is a wretched beginning indeed! My sole dependence was on you; and I am sure nobody else will believe me, if you do not. Yet, indeed, I am in earnest. I speak nothing but the truth. He loves me, and we are engaged.''
Jane looked at her doubtingly. ``Oh, Lizzy! It cannot be. I know how much you dislike him and I had no idea that he cared for you. Not that loving you is surprising.''
``You know nothing of the matter. He has been very kind to me. We met many times at Rosings and Hunsford. I must admit my surprise when he asked for my hand but I truly believe that he loves me. So the past_ is all to be forgot. But in such cases as these, a good memory is unpardonable. This is the last time I shall ever remember it myself.''
Miss Bennet still looked all amazement. Elizabeth again, and more seriously assured her of its truth.
``Good Heaven! Can it be really so! Yet now I must believe you,'' cried Jane. ``My dear, dear Lizzy, I would - I do congratulate you - but are you certain? Forgive the question - are you quite certain that you can be happy with him?''
``There can be no doubt of that. But are you pleased, Jane? Shall you like to have such a brother?''
``Very, very much. And do you really love him quite well enough? Oh, Lizzy! Do any thing rather than marry without affection. Are you quite sure that you feel what you ought to?''
"Jane, I am sure that I shall be happy." She could not bear to lie to her sister so that is all she said about loving Mr. Darcy. Instead she turned the subject to the happier thought of Mr. Bingley's return. "But I must warn you, he comes to Netherfield any day now and brings your Bingley with him!"
Miss Bennet had not been able to hear of his coming without changing color. It was some time since she had mentioned his name to Elizabeth; but now, she said, ``I see you look at me, Lizzy, and I know I appeared distressed. But don't imagine it was from any silly cause. I was only confused for the moment, because I felt that I should be distressed. I do assure you that the news does not affect me either with pleasure or pain. Yet it is hard that this poor man cannot come to a house which he has legally hired, without raising speculation! I will leave him to himself. And anyway, why would Mr. Bingley come now?"
"After Mr. Darcy proposed, he requested if he could inform Mr. Bingley of Papa's illness so that he may ask Mr. Bingley's permission to stay at Netherfield. He was sure that Bingley would become one of the party. When I left Hunsford, he was leaving for London to meet Bingley and Colonel Fitzwilliam, Mr. Darcy's cousin, who was joining him there after leaving us at Bromley."
"Mr. Darcy's cousin traveled with you?"
"Yes, Mr. Darcy arranged for us to use one of Lady Catherine's carriages. At Bromley, we changed to the Post. Mr. Darcy arranged for Colonel Fitzwilliam to pay for our passage and then was to meet him in London. He suspected that they would be at Netherfield by week's end."
"That was very kind of him."
"Yes, it made it easy for me to get home and that was my main objective."
"I still can't believe it, engaged to Mr. Darcy! Did you tell Mama?"
"No, Mr. Darcy agreed that we should only tell a few people before he has a chance to talk to Papa. So only you, Mr. Bingley, and Colonel Fitzwilliam know. I'm would like to keep it that way for now."
"Of course, my dear sister, I am so happy for you. I do not know Mr. Darcy that well but Mr. Bingley thinks very highly of him. He must be a man of high character and he is obviously very kind and generous. Oh, how I shall miss you!"
"Wait, I'm not married yet. I may be here a few more days. Who knows, maybe you shall be married before me yet!" Jane was happy to hear her sister's playful tone again and, while denying the fact that she would beat her to the alter, laughed and embraced her beloved sister.
Jane had colored and declared she could not understand Elizabeth's meaning but in spite of what her sister declared, and she really believed to be Jane's feelings in the expectation of his arrival, Elizabeth could easily perceive that her spirits were affected by it. They were more disturbed, more unequal, than she had often seen them.
Chapter Nine Posted on Tuesday, 4 January 2005
Elizabeth spent the afternoon reading by her father's bedside. His condition did not appear to have changed despite Dr. March's visit. While adjusting his pillows, she heard a knock at the front door, persuaded that it might be the doctor returning, decided to inquire.
She entered the family sitting room where Jane was busy at her needlepoint. She had not even been seated, when Hill, the family housekeeper, opened the door and began to announce their visitors. "Excuse me misses, there are two gentlemen here to see you. I informed them that there your father was ill but they still asked to talk to you ladies. It is Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy."
Elizabeth looked at her sister Jane to see her still at her work. "Show them in Hill, thank you."
Soon, their quick steps were heard approaching. Lizzy felt her pulse rising in the awkwardness of their meeting. Mr. Bingley entered first and approached Elizabeth, her being closer to the door. "Miss Elizabeth, how delightful to see you. We came as soon as we arrived to inquire after your father and see if we could be of any assistance. Pray tell me has he recovered?" As he asked this, his eyes were wavering around the room until he spotted her sister by the fire. While he listened to Elizabeth's words, his eyes never wavered from admiring her sister. Elizabeth could not help but be pleased.
"His condition is unchanged I'm afraid, sir. But thank you for your kindness."
His friend spoke now as he approached her bowing. "Miss Elizabeth, has Doctor Mm, I mean has the doctor seen him recently? Surely he will be able to help Mr. Bennet to recover."
Elizabeth was speechless. He had started to say Dr. March. How could he know; Suddenly a realization came upon her - it was him, Mr. Darcy had arranged for Doctor March to come to Longbourn. It was his kindness and generosity that brought the specialist to tend her beloved father.
"A doctor from London arrived this morning, sir," her sister answered for her. Jane, for her part, did not seem to have noticed what Mr. Darcy had said but continued, "He examined our father and said that this next week is very important. He told us not to give up hope but," lowering her eyes and voice, "he said also to pray."
Mr. Bingley looked truly affected by this. "You must have faith Miss Bennet." He moved towards Miss Bennet as he said this and gently took her hand in his. The way that he looked and spoke to Jane told Elizabeth that the gentlemen's friend and his sisters had been unsuccessful. It was obvious that he still loved Jane. He took his usual seat at her so as to not have to relinquish her hand or company. Jane looked at Bingley with tears in her eyes and said,
"Sir, thank you and I am glad to see you have returned."
While Elizabeth had never doubted that Jane was still in love with Bingley, her expression more than confirmed it for Elizabeth despite her protests of earlier in the day. She looked at Darcy now. He was watching his friend with an agonizing look in his eye. Elizabeth felt anger building inside her. It seemed to her that he still disapproved of her sister and yet he, Mr. Darcy himself, was engaged to her, Jane's sister! How could he be so opposed to their match when her sister was all that was goodness and kindness.
"Miss Elizabeth, would you do me the honor of taking a turn with me?" She nodded for she could not keep her knowledge of his interference in her sister's affair inside any longer. She waited until they were far enough from the house before she began. "Mr. Darcy."
"Please Miss Bennet, before we go on I must tell you something, which is I must confess. I believe that Mr. Bingley is in love with your sister. After the ball at Netherfield, I, along with his sisters, persuaded him that your sister did not love him and that she was an unsuitable choice. Even worse than that, I knew of your sister being in town and kept it from him. I had no right to interfere and ask that you and Miss Bennet please forgive me."
"I know how odd that must seem since I asked you to marry me but I did not believe that she cared for him. While I objected to your family, it would be nothing if she loved him. I observed her just now and believe that I was previously mistaken. If you can confirm it, I shall confess all to him tonight."
"Mr. Darcy, who are you to judge their happiness? What right did you have to interfere? I must say, of my acquaintance with you, your manners, impress me with the fullest belief of your arrogance, your conceit, and your selfish disdain of the feelings of others. But I did not know that you were to decide the fate of others!"
"Elizabeth, allow me explain. The situation of your mother's family, though objectionable, was nothing in comparison of that total want of propriety so frequently, so almost uniformly, betrayed by herself, by your three younger sisters, and occasionally even by your father. -- Pardon me. -- It pains me to offend you. But amidst your concern for the defects of your nearest relations, and your displeasure at this representation of them, let it give you consolation to consider that to have conducted yourselves so as to avoid any share of the like censure is praise no less generally bestowed on you and your eldest sister, than it is honorable to the sense and disposition of both. -- I will only say farther that, from what passed that evening at the Netherfield Ball, my opinion of all parties was confirmed, and every inducement heightened, which could have led me before to preserve my friend from what I esteemed a most unhappy connection."
"I shall not scruple to assert that the serenity of your sister's countenance and air was such as might have given the most acute observer a conviction that, however amiable her temper, her heart was not likely to be easily touched. -- That I was desirous of believing her indifferent is certain, -- but I will venture to say that my investigations and decisions are not usually influenced by my hopes or fears. -- I did not believe her to be indifferent because I wished it; -- I believed it on impartial conviction, as truly as I wished it in reason."
"I do not suppose that our opposition to the match would ultimately have prevented the marriage, had it not been seconded by the assurance, which I hesitated not in giving, of your sister's indifference. He had before believed her to return his affection with sincere, if not with equal, regard. - But Bingley has great natural modesty, with a stronger dependence on my judgment than on his own. -- To convince him, therefore, that he had deceived himself, was no very difficult point."
"I know now that I was wrong and I shall let him know at once."
Elizabeth turned away from him. "Mr. Darcy, how can you attack my family, especially my father, at a time like this? Pray forgive me sir, but I must beg to return to the house. Good night."
"Elizabeth, please wait." She left the garden with him following her. When entering the house though, ignoring his pleas for her to stop, she went straight for her room. He met Bingley in the hall where the gentlemen bid Miss Bennet goodnight and related again their hopes for Mr. Bennet's recovery.
With amazement did Elizabeth first understand that he believed any apology to be in his power; and steadfastly was she persuaded that he could have no explanation to give, which a just sense of shame would not conceal. With a strong prejudice against every thing he had said, she had listened to his account of what had happened at Netherfield. She had listened, with an eagerness which hardly left her power of comprehension, and from impatience of knowing what would come next. His belief of her sister's insensibility, she instantly resolved to be false, and his account of the real, the worst objections to the match, made her too angry to have any wish of doing him justice. How could she deny that credit to his assertions, in one instance, which she had been obliged to give in the other? -- He declared himself to have been totally unsuspicious of her sister's attachment; -- and she could not help remembering what Charlotte's opinion had always been. -- Neither could she deny the justice of his description of Jane. -- She felt that Jane's feelings, though fervent, were little displayed, and that there was a constant complacency in her air and manner not often united with great sensibility.
When she recollected what had been said about her family, in terms of such mortifying yet merited reproach, her sense of shame was severe. The justice of the charge struck her too forcibly for denial, and the circumstances to which he particularly alluded, as having passed at the Netherfield Ball, and as confirming all his first disapprobation, could not have made a stronger impression on his mind than on hers. The compliment to herself and her sister was not unfelt. It soothed, but it could not console her for the contempt which had been thus self-attracted by the rest of her family.
Elizabeth's thoughts were thus employed when her beloved sister knocked at her door. "Lizzy, are you in here? Ah, there you are. Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley left rather abruptly. Did something happen?"
Unsure how to answer this, Elizabeth made an excuse about a disagreement over wedding plans allowing that she preferred a longer engagement than her intended. Jane, ever the generous soul, took this as truth, and excused her sister to return to their father's bedside.
Chapter Ten Posted on Tuesday, 4 January 2005
Elizabeth spent another night at her father's bedside reading to him. She knew of and shared his great love of books and found therapy in the escapism that they provided. She had nodded off when she felt a light, feeble tap on her hand. Her father was quietly calling her name. "Lizzy, Lizzy, my dear, do not fret for your old father."
Forcing herself to alertness, she started and a great happiness flowed over her countenance. "Oh Papa, you are awake! I have been so worried. I thought that we had lost you."
"Lizzy, please listen to me. I am too weak and I fear; I am not long for this world. It is up to you my dearest to take charge of this family." He brushed off her objections, "No Lizzy, I fear it is not to be. But fret not, laugh instead for you know that is the emotion that I have always preferred. I have lived a full life and you child have been my greatest source of joy. I hate to burden you but you have the most sense of any of your sisters, and I fear your mother's nerves will prevent her from looking after you and your sisters."
"I have set up a will asking that your Uncle Gardiner to assist you in any manner but family decisions will be left up to you. I beg that you marry a wise man that may assist you. Try and marry for love though Lizzy, I would hate for you to have a loveless or unequal marriage. I trust your economy to see our family through until that event may happen."
Seeing her father's concern for her and her family, she felt that she must betray her secret to relieve his worry. "Papa, there is something I must tell you," she gazed down now for she could not retain his eye contact. "I am already engaged, sir. Mr. Darcy has asked for my hand and I have consented. We are only waiting for your consent for he intends to consult you as soon as you are well enough."
"Mr. Darcy? Lizzy," her father was looking grave and anxious. "Lizzy,'' said he, ``what are you doing? Are you out of your senses, to be accepting this man? Have not you always hated him?''
How earnestly did she then wish that her former opinions had been more reasonable, her expressions more moderate! It would have spared her from explanations and professions which it was exceedingly awkward to give; but they were now necessary, and she assured him because of not wanting to grieve him, of her attachment to Mr. Darcy.
``Or, in other words, you are determined to have him. He is rich, to be sure, and you may have many fine clothes and fine carriages. But will they make you happy?''
``Have you any other objection,'' said Elizabeth, ``than your belief of my indifference?''
``None at all. We all know him to be a proud, unpleasant sort of man; but this would be nothing if you really liked him.''
``I do, I do like him,'' she replied, with tears in her eyes, ``He has been most kind to me. I am sure that he truly loves me. In fact, he went to London and sent Dr. March to Longbourn because he knew of my concern and love for you. He arranged for my conveyance home and paid all the expenses. So Papa, don't worry, we shall all be fine.''
``Lizzy,'' said her father, ``I will give him my consent. He is the kind of man, indeed, to whom I should never dare refuse any thing, which he condescended to ask. I now give it to _you_, if you are resolved on having him. But let me advise you to think better of it. I know your disposition, Lizzy. I know that you could be neither happy nor respectable, unless you truly esteemed your husband; unless you looked up to him as a superior. Your lively talents would place you in the greatest danger in an unequal marriage. You could scarcely escape discredit and misery. My child, let me not have the grief of knowing _you will be unable to respect your partner in life. You know not what you are about.''
"Papa, please, do not upset yourself. I am sure of my choice. Now, rest, rest please and save your strength."
"Come here child and kiss your father's cheek. I should not say this but I think you know that you are my favorite child, my true joy. You and your sister Jane are the only sensible ladies of this household and I treasure you both." His voice trailed off as he drifted back to sleep. Elizabeth's emotions were high; her father now knew of her engagement and had consented. Her guilt was great though for she hated misleading her father. She had led him to believe that she loved Mr. Darcy.
She no longer hated Mr. Darcy but she knew she did not feel what she ought about him, not to be married to him. But her father knew that Mr. Darcy would take care of her and her father would not be distressed about that. She laid her head on his hand and drifted back to sleep.
The servants dared not to draw the drapes open in Mr. Bennet's sick room for they knew Miss Elizabeth had been tending to him most of the night. She still slept now and they knew it best to leave her thus. Her sister Jane had joined her and kept vigil quietly on the other side of his sick bed. Elizabeth was awakened by a soft caress on her shoulder. She looked up to a see a familiar face smiling down on her. "Aunt, I'm so glad you came! Where is my uncle?"
Mrs. Gardiner was a very welcome sight for Elizabeth and Jane both. They truly loved and respected their aunt and uncle and this feeling was reciprocated. "He is just tending to the horses and will be here directly." She inquired the status of their father's condition, that of their mother and how they, her dear nieces were.
Since their discussion would probably prove to be lengthy, they retired to the small sitting room with Mary tending the sick room and after their uncle joined them, a good half hour was spent in conversation. The sound of horses approaching brought the younger Bennet sisters into the room to see who it could be.
"It is Mr. Bingley, and there is a gentleman with him,'' said Kitty; ``who can it be?'' ``La! Looks just like that man that used to be with him before. Mr. what's-his-name. That tall, proud man.''
"It must be Mr. Darcy, he was here with him yesterday." Jane said smiling at her sister for she believed this would give Elizabeth joy. Their Aunt Gardiner observed this and noticed that Elizabeth had a slight rise of color in her cheek. Although it would seem that her aunt mistook the reason for the blush, she felt it was because of some attachment on Lizzy's part. Truly, she was mistaken for now having secured her father's consent; she was regretting her saucy speech to Mr. Darcy. He, who was to be her family's savior, she had condemned for being harsh on her family. She also feared how he would act towards her and to her relations that he looked down upon.
The gentlemen in question entered the room while her thoughts were thus engaged. Mr. Bingley sought out her sister immediately while his friend approached her. Mrs. Gardiner was standing a little behind; and on her pausing, he asked her if she would do him the honor of introducing him to her friends. She could hardly suppress a smile at his being now seeking the acquaintance of some of those very people against whom his pride had revolted. ``What will be his surprise,'' thought she, ``when he knows who they are! He takes them now for people of fashion.''
The introduction, however, was immediately made; and as she named their relationship to herself, she stole a sly look at him, to see how he bore it; and was not without the expectation of his removal from their conversation as fast as he could from such disgraceful companions. That he was surprised by the connection was evident; he sustained it however with fortitude, and so far from going away, turned back with them, and entered into conversation with Mr. Gardiner. Elizabeth could not but be pleased, could not but triumph. It was consoling that he should know she had some relations for whom there was no need to blush. She listened most attentively to all that passed between them, and gloried in every expression, every sentence of her uncle, which marked his intelligence, his taste, or his good manners.
The conversation soon turned upon fishing, and she heard Mr. Darcy invite him, with the greatest civility, to fish at his home Pemberley as often as he chose whenever he found himself in the neighborhood, offering at the same time to supply him with fishing tackle, and to point out those parts of the stream where there was usually most sport. Mrs. Gardiner, who was talking with Elizabeth, gave her a look expressive of her wonder. Elizabeth said nothing, but it gratified her exceedingly; the compliment must be all for herself. Her astonishment, however, was extreme; and continually was she repeating, ``Why is he so altered? From what can it proceed? It cannot be for me, it cannot be for my sake that his manners are thus softened. My reproofs last night could not work such a change as this.''
The Gardiners were struck with amazement. They had never met Mr. Bingley or Mr. Darcy before but had previously been acquainted with tales of both. Mr. Bingley was all that they had heard of - affable and clearly in love with their dear Jane. Mr. Darcy, on the other hand was believed to be proud and arrogant, proved to be quite the opposite. Although not as outgoing as his friend, they found him to be just as amiable and obviously in love with their other niece. Of the girls' affection, they were uncertain, but it was obvious that the men both knew what it was to love.
The gentlemen took their leave to allow the Gardiners to get settled and to visit with Mrs. Bennet who still kept to her room. They did, however, promise to call the next day.
``He is perfectly well behaved, polite, and unassuming,'' said her uncle referring to Mr. Darcy.
``There is something a little stately in him to be sure,'' replied her aunt, ``but it is confined to his air, and is not unbecoming. That though some people may call him proud, _I_ have seen nothing of it.''
``To be sure, Lizzy,'' said her aunt, ``he is not so handsome as Wickham; or rather he has not Wickham's countenance, for his features are perfectly good. But how came you to tell us that he was so disagreeable?''
Elizabeth excused herself as well as she could; said that she had liked him better when they met in Kent than before, and that she had never seen him so pleasant as this morning. She decided not to inform them as of yet of the agreement that existed between the two of them and instead to seek a private counsel with her aunt that evening to discuss how to best inform her mother.
``But perhaps he may be a little whimsical in his civilities,'' replied her uncle. ``Your great men often are; and therefore I shall not take him at his word about fishing, as he might change his mind another day, and warn me off his grounds.''
Elizabeth felt that they had entirely mistaken his character, but said nothing. She would vindicate him later.
``From what we have seen of him,'' continued Mrs. Gardiner, ``I really should not have thought that he could have behaved in so cruel a way by any body, as he has done by poor Wickham. He has not an ill-natured look. On the contrary, there is something pleasing about his mouth when he speaks. And there is something of dignity in his countenance that would not give one an unfavorable idea of his heart."
"Maybe, there is more to the story than we know," was all that Elizabeth allowing for the first time herself that she had only heard Wickham's side of the story.
Chapter Eleven Posted on Tuesday, 4 January 2005
It was late morning when Dr. March arrived to examine his patient. Elizabeth was very anxious to see him and inform him of the morning's events. Although her father had not awoken since, she was convinced it must be a good sign. He had spoken to her, but then again, maybe it was a dream. No, she was sure, she had been sleeping but he woke her and spoke to her. She did not tell the doctor, or especially her sisters, of the conversation because her father had been convinced that his death was near. She would not allow this; she could not allow this to be true.
Dr. March assured her it was a good sign but would like to examine him just the same. He asked the sisters to leave him to his patient and wait for his appraisal.
Her aunt and uncle were visiting with her mother upstairs while the daughters of the house were forced to wait. The uncle, being the mother's elder brother remained with her some time but soon the aunt appeared and said, "Lizzy, will you take a walk with me in the garden while we wait?"
Lizzy, who truly wished to confide in her aunt, nodded and rose to join her. The day was cooler than most for April and Lizzy felt a distinct chill in the air. She wished that she had thought to put her cloak on but the discussion would not be delayed.
"Dearest aunt, I am so glad that you have come to us. My uncle too, for your presence is reassuring to both Jane and I. I'm sure that Mama is comforted as well."
"You know that your uncle and I would do anything in our power for you all and I can think of no place that I should be at this time except here with you." Her aunt thought of broaching the subject of the two gentlemen callers but she did not wish to force Elizabeth's confidence. There was no need, though, for the niece brought up the subject herself.
"Aunt, I suppose that you were surprised to meet Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley here today."
The aunt responded in the affirmative and that at such a time as their father's illness made it all the more surprising. "I met Mr. Darcy several times while I was visiting my friend, Charlotte, I mean Mrs. Collins, at Hunsford. His aunt's, Lady Catherine, home is the neighboring estate. In fact, while we were there, he made me an offer and I have accepted him." This was all said in an unaffected tone that surprised her aunt. Lizzy did not even look at her aunt for she knew that excepting Jane, she could read her better than anybody.
"Lizzy, I had no idea. That is, it was evident today that Mr. Darcy is in love with you but I had no idea that you were in love with him. You are very sly, you hardly mentioned him in your letters and when you did, I thought that you did not care at all for him. I guess that is the way with emotions though - to hate someone strongly is really not that far from loving them thus. Only those with strong ties to us can project such strong emotion from us."
"I must say I was surprised with his application, I had no idea that he felt that way about me until then."
"And yet you accepted him? You thought your love was unrequited?"
"Truly, I was merely surprised but his actions and looks have since shown me and now I fervently believe he loves me. He has put up with my impertinence at least. I was very saucy to him yesterday and still am surprised that he has not held a grudge because of it!" She said this with a bit of a laugh for it was true, he had not held it against her. In fact, it seemed to have worked on him because his behavior today was such that she had never seen from him before. He had been amiable to perfect stranger, inferior strangers. She could not believe it was because of her reproaches but then again, maybe it had.
"What does your mother say about the match, she did not mention it earlier and I must admit, Mr. Darcy has not seemed a favorite with her. Does she consent to the marriage?"
"That is why I seek your counsel. I have not told her. Mr. Darcy was waiting for Papa to recover to seek his consent. We didn't want to tell anyone until then because I'm afraid Mama would tell anyone who would listen. Only Jane, Mr. Bingley, Colonel Fitzwilliam who is Mr. Darcy's cousin and now you know the truth. Oh and Papa. I told him this morning. He was very concerned for our welfare in case, well." She could not bear to continue that train of thought and with a tear in her eye continued, "So I told him about Mr. Darcy."
"And what did he say?"
"He was as surprised as you were for he thought that I hated him. I assured him that Mr. Darcy was a good man and that he would take care of us. Of me."
"Lizzy, is that why you are marrying him? For comfort? I know that for many women that is the sole purpose of marrying but I never thought it was the allurement for you."
"Aunt, I assure you that I am not marrying him for my own comfort."
"Well, I believe that you must tell your mother. I think it would relieve her to know that she has one less daughter to worry about. What about Mr. Bingley, he and Jane are not engaged too?"
She explained how Mr. Darcy had traveled to London to asked Mr. Bingley to stay at Netherfield so as to be near her but she felt that Mr. Bingley had his own reasons for returning to the area. "Although they are not engaged at present, perhaps Jane will be at the alter before me!"
"By the looks of things today, I would not be surprised. I congratulate you Lizzy. I would never have thought that my own niece would be Mistress of Pemberley. It is a beautiful estate; I know that you shall love it there. I should love to tour the grounds, perhaps with a set of ponies and a low phaeton that would be just the thing. But at present, I'm afraid we must return to the house."
Dr. March was talking to Jane when they returned. He told them that despite his consciousness that day, there had been no improvement in Mr. Bennet's condition. He had administered more medication and again, would return the next day.
Chapter Twelve Posted on Tuesday, 4 January 2005
The gentlemen were true to their word and returned the following day. Elizabeth was attending their father when they arrived along with Jane but Mrs. Gardiner, worried of her nieces' welfare for tending a sick bed was distressing work, suggested a walk for them and the gentlemen callers. She knew that the girls were wearing themselves out taking care of the father and mother and that fresh air along with a sojourn with their gentlemen would do them world of good. Mary and Kitty took over with for their father for Lydia was too busy and flippant to stop rearranging the new hat she had just purchased.
A walk to Oakham Mount was suggested for the view was pleasing and at not at too great a distance so not to be long from Longbourn. Lizzy, for her sister's sake, lagged behind with her fiancé to allow her sister to reacquaint herself with Mr. Bingley. She watched them from her vantage point and saw how freely they conversed; it was though they had never been parted.
"Elizabeth, I am truly worried about you, please allow me to hire a nurse for your father. I know you want to be with him, but you must also get your rest." She turned her gaze from her sister to Mr. Darcy upon hearing these words. She could see how truly concerned he was but steadily assured him that it would not matter, she had to be near her father. Whether the nurse was there or not, that is where she would be. He decided that this was an excellent time to try and make her smile adding, "and remember, I have a vested interest in your father's recovery. Until then, I cannot ask him for your hand!"
"Forgive me, I forgot that I have not informed you. There has been so much going on, people coming and going, I thought that I had mentioned it."
Elizabeth's voice trailed off as she noticed again her sister and Mr. Bingley. Jane was sitting on a large rock off to the side of the path and it appeared that Bingley was kneeling behind her. While she was trying hard to see the scene before her, Darcy demanded her attention.
"Elizabeth, what have you not mentioned? Elizabeth, what is it?" He took her hands into his and in doing so, turned her away from their companions. This had the desired affect though and her attention returned to him.
"Oh yes, Papa woke for a short time yesterday, and I hope you do not mind but I told him of our engagement. He has given his consent but I have not told Mama yet. I will soon though." He was so caught up in his emotions that he pulled her into his arms, lifted her up in the air and swung her around him in a full circle.
"Mr. Darcy!" she exclaimed while letting out a giggle, "What are you doing?"
"Now it is you that must forgive me! I can't tell you how happy I am to hear that! There will be no impediments now! You are truly to be mine!" There was a true look of joy of his face, and Lizzy could not help but smile herself.
She was still not pleased with the match herself but she was resigned to it, that made it possible to even smile at times like these. She had begun to realize Darcy's worth. He was a good, kind man in every action toward her and now even to her family. It seemed it was only to Wickham, who he had known all his life, was he cruel. Their arrangement seemed to be doing good for at least someone in her family for she could easily see that Jane was smiling unlike she had for quite some time.
Jane and Bingley had turned back toward the estate taking a shorter path instead of the road when they heard Lizzy's and Darcy's exclamations. Darcy, while always the reserved shy man, could not stop himself from explaining to his good friend and her sister the reason for his joy.
"Good God, Darcy, what are you doing?" Bingley inquired.
"Mr. Bennet woke temporarily and has given consent. Now only Mrs. Bennet need be applied to!" Bingley true joy for his friend, for he had the kindest heart, embraced his friend and offered his hearty congratulations. This caused a slight separation of the sexes.
Jane could have no reserves from Elizabeth, where confidence would give pleasure; and instantly embraced her, and acknowledged with the liveliest emotion, that she was the happiest creature in the world.
``'Tis too much!'' she added, ``by far too much. I do not deserve it. Oh! why is not every body as happy?''
Elizabeth's congratulations were given with sincerity, warmth, a delight, which words could but poorly express. Every sentence of kindness was a fresh source of happiness to Jane. But she would not allow herself to stay with her sister, or say half that remained to be said for the present.
``I must go instantly to my mother;'' she cried. ``I would not on any account trifle with her affectionate solicitude; or allow her to hear it from any one but myself. Oh! Lizzy, to know that what I have to relate will give such pleasure to all my dear family! how shall I bear so much happiness!''
She then hastened away to her mother, who still kept to her room, and was sitting in the up stairs of Longbourn with Kitty.
Elizabeth, who was left by herself, now smiled at the rapidity and ease with which an affair was finally settled, that had given them so many previous months of suspense and vexation.
``And this,'' said she, ``is the end of all his friend's anxious circumspection! of all his sister's falsehood and contrivance! the happiest, wisest, most reasonable end!''
In a few minutes she rejoined Bingley and Darcy, who together were conversing on what appeared to have been the same subject as the ladies. ``Where is your sister?'' said he hastily, as she approached.
`She has gone to my mother's chamber . She will join us soon, I dare say.''
"Bingley had just told me that we are to be brothers! And I have happily congratulated him. I'm sure that he and your sister, Miss Bennet, will be very happy together." He said this with a devilish smile to Lizzy who took it to understand that he had been a party to it all along. Elizabeth could not help but smile triumphantly at Mr. Darcy, and in seeing his countenance, could tell that he was taking as much joy as she was from the day's events.
"I have just heard the same information from my sister, sir." And turning to his friend, related the true joy she felt in her heart. He came up to her and claimed the good wishes and affection of a sister. Elizabeth honestly and heartily expressed her delight in the prospect of their relationship. They shook hands with great cordiality; and then, till her sister returned, she had to listen to all he had to say of his own happiness, and of Jane's perfections; and in spite of his being a lover, Elizabeth really believed all his expectations of felicity to be rationally founded, because they had for basis the excellent understanding, and super-excellent disposition of Jane, and a general similarity of feeling and taste between her and himself.
When the group reached Longbourn, the men were pressed to stay to lunch and as they had no fixed engagements that day, agreed to the plan. It was an afternoon of no common delight to them all; the satisfaction of Miss Bennet's mind gave a glow of such sweet animation to her face, as made her look handsomer than ever. Kitty simpered and smiled, and hoped her turn was coming soon.
The gentlemen decided that it was time to take their leave but Mr. Darcy asked Elizabeth to see him out, which allowed the introduction to discussion the day's events. Darcy was delighted with Bingley and Jane's engagement; his friend had given him the earliest information of it.
While she felt that he wasn't, she asked, ``I must ask whether you were surprised?'' said Elizabeth.
``Not at all. When I came here today, I felt that it would soon happen.''
``That is to say, you had given your permission. I guessed as much.'' And though he exclaimed at the term, she found that it had been pretty much the case.
``Last evening,'' said he, ``I made that confession to him, which I believe I ought to have made long ago. I told him that my former interference in his affairs was absurd and impertinent. I told him, moreover, that I believed myself mistaken in supposing, as I had done, that your sister was indifferent to him; and as I could easily perceive that his attachment to her was unabated, I felt no doubt of their happiness together.''
Elizabeth could not help smiling at his easy manner of directing his friend.
``And your assurance of her affection, I suppose, carried immediate conviction to him.''
``It did. Bingley is most unaffectedly modest. His diffidence had prevented his depending on his own judgment in so anxious a case, but his reliance on mine made everything easy. I was obliged to confess one thing, which for a time, and not unjustly, offended him. I could not allow myself to conceal that your sister had been in town three months last winter that I had known it, and purposely kept it from him. He was angry. But his anger, I am persuaded, lasted no longer than he remained in any doubt of your sister's sentiments. He has heartily forgiven me now.''
Elizabeth longed to observe that Mr. Bingley had been a most delightful friend; so easily guided that his worth was invaluable; but she checked herself. She remembered that he had yet to learn to be laughed at, and it was rather too early to begin. In anticipating the happiness of Bingley, which of course was to be inferior only to his own, he continued the conversation till they reached the horses. As they parted, he made a request of her.
"Miss Bennet, Elizabeth, would I be too bold in asking you for a kiss?" She was taken back by his request and silently began to blush. He took her silence for an assent and leaned forward to allow his lips to gently touch hers. He started to part from her but then leaned in further and drew her up in his arms in a passionate embrace. She could not help but respond to him and was amazed at what she felt. She had chills from the excitement of his touch.
The sound of voices approached and he quickly moved away from her. She was left in awe of what had just happened. She was not mad at the liberty he had taken but was shocked at her response to it. She knew that she did not hate him anymore, actually she was growing fond of him but she could not believe the way that his touch had excited her.
Bingley and Jane had joined them, for they had been the approaching voices.
As the gentlemen mounted their horses, they bid their ladies good-bye and pledged to be there tomorrow. Their ladies watched them leave and Jane began to relate her mother's excitement at her revelation. Her mother actually declared her nerves cured and would travel to town to inform her sister of the good tidings.
Elizabeth realized two things. First, she still had not made her declaration to her mother and should do so at once. Secondly, that with Jane marrying Bingley, it was not really necessary for her to marry Darcy after all. This thought which would have produced great joy a week prior, now provoked different emotions. That kiss had produced different emotions. She was unsure of what to do, how to proceed and most importantly, she did not know anymore what she wanted. She resumed her vigil at her father's bedside to allow her time to decide.
Chapter Thirteen Posted on Friday, 7 January 2005
With great trepidation, Elizabeth decided to leave her father's bedside to consult with her mother. It was not that she feared relating her tidings but more that she feared her mother's tendency for hysterics and fits of her nerves.
It was true that she could easily back out of the marriage now for her family could rely on her sister's engagement to provide for her family. She was not sure now that she wanted her freedom. It was true; she had hated Mr. Darcy for she thought him proud and arrogant. But since that time when she consented out of necessity to become his wife, she had grown to know him better and in knowing him better, she respected him. He was not what she had thought; the kindness that he had shown since her father's illness was enough to change her opinion. But it was also in his manner that she felt this change. She was surprised by his disposition; it could almost be called cheerful in these past days. Not only by that was she surprised but by her own countenance. She now looked forward to his visits. Most startling to her was how she felt when he took her in his arms. It awoke feelings in her that she did not know existed.
Then again, what was it that her aunt had said just days earlier. "I guess that is the way with emotions though - to hate someone strongly is really not that far from loving them thus. Only those with strong ties to us can project such strong emotion from us." Perhaps her aunt was correct, Lizzy had felt so strongly and love and hate are truly related emotions.
As soon as her sister Kitty could be called upon to relieve her, she decided she must apply to her mother. She knew that her mother had been cured of her illness of late by news of her eldest daughter impending marriage. Now, her second eldest was coming to give the same information only regarding herself. She began to feel guilty for she had been engaged since before returning home but had neglected telling her mother. Yet Jane, who was engaged only on this very day, had already given her mother great joy.
But Jane's case was different. Mrs. Bennet regarded Mr. Bingley and had acknowledged him as a prospective son-in-law from their first meeting. She had anticipated his proposal for months now, and though it did not take place until now in her mind, it was bound to take place.
Mr. Darcy was a very different story. He had offended Mrs. Bennet on their very first meeting and she was vocal about her dislike of him. Whenever she was in his company, she was always on the verge of being rude to him. Beyond her dislike of him, she had no knowledge of his regard for her daughter. She may have been aware of his recent visits to Longbourn but she would conclude that he was accompanying his friend as he had done in the past. She would not associate it for some preference for her second daughter.
With these feelings weighing heavily on her heart, Elizabeth knocked quietly on her mother's door and bade a welcome to her chamber.
"Lizzy, is it not wonderful? I knew that she could not be so pretty for nothing. Five thousand a year and perhaps more. I shall leave soon for Meryton to tell my sister and then to Lucas Lodge. We shall all be saved!"
Elizabeth's nerves were building inside her and after assuring her mother that Jane's news was wonderful, expressed her need to inform her mother of something herself.
After a request from her mother to postpone their conference, Elizabeth assured her that it was most urgent. She then made her important disclosure.
Its effect was extraordinary; for on first hearing it, Mrs. Bennet sat quite still, and unable to utter a syllable. Nor was it under many, many minutes that she could comprehend what she heard; though not in general backward to credit what was for the advantage of her family, or that came in the shape of a lover to any of them. She began at length to recover, to fidget about in her chair, get up, sit down again, wonder, and bless herself.
``Good gracious! Lord bless me! only think! dear me! Mr. Darcy! Who would have thought it! And is it really true? Oh! my sweetest Lizzy! how rich and how great you will be! What pin-money, what jewels, what carriages you will have! Jane's is nothing to it -- nothing at all. I am so pleased - so happy. Such a charming man! -- so handsome! so tall! -- Oh, my dear Lizzy! pray apologize for my having disliked him so much before. I hope he will overlook it. Dear, dear Lizzy. A house in town! Every thing that is charming! Two daughters married! Ten thousand a year! Oh, Lord! What will become of me. I shall go distracted.''
This was enough to prove that her approbation need not be doubted: and Elizabeth, rejoicing that such an effusion was heard only by herself, soon went away. But before she had been three minutes in her own room, her mother followed her.
``My dearest child,'' she cried, ``I can think of nothing else! Ten thousand a year, and very likely more! 'Tis as good as a Lord! And a special license. You must and shall be married by a special license. But my dearest love, tell me what dish Mr. Darcy is particularly fond of, that I may have it tomorrow.''
"Mama, that is not necessary. Mr. Darcy understands that we are all distressed over Father's illness. He expects no special treatment." After her mother's declaration to just prepare an excellent table on the morrow, she hurried away for now she had two daughter's engagements to announce.
Elizabeth had tried to explain the impropriety of such a disclosure with Mr. Bennet so ill and that he had not consented yet to Jane's marriage although she declined to mention that he had consented to hers. Her mother declared that at a time of her husband's illness, she was the head of the household and it only matter that her consent be given.
Elizabeth was forced to relent but did so gladly for it would allow her return to her father's bedside. She joined Jane who had replaced Kitty which allowed her to relate her mother's response.
The ladies were stayed with their father over night and had been joined in the morning by Dr. March who was making his daily visit to his patient. It was during this time that the gentlemen, Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley arrived at Longbourn. They were shown in the parlor where they chose to wait instead of coming away without seeing their fair ladies.
It seemed that they waited an eternity for the ladies to come out but when they did, they were taken back but the vision before them. Lizzy entered the parlor, tears ran down her face. When her eyes met Darcy's, her sobbing became audible. She could not ignore her impulse and ran across the room to him where he rose, accepting her into his arms. He feared the worst and tried to comfort her.
"No, you don't understand. He will survive!!! Dr. March has said that it will take a long time before he is like his old self again but he will live! It is thanks to you for I know that you sent the doctor here. Please allow me to thank you on behalf of all my family for they do not know to whom they are indebted."
``If you will thank me,'' he replied, ``let it be for yourself alone. But your family owe me nothing. Much as I respect them, I believe I thought only of you. Please, I beg you, please don't cry''
She began to control her emotion at his entreaty and realized even though they were tears of joy, it pained him to see her thus. She did not, however, leave his embrace for some time relishing in how safe and protected she felt herself under his protection. After several minutes, she again became aware that she had not entered the room alone but happily found that Jane was similarly occupied. When the gentlemen, finally released their ladies, the group was able to enjoy the next hour in discussing all that the doctor had said and his plan for Mr. Bennet's road to recovery.
Chapter Fourteen Posted on Friday, 7 January 2005
The next few weeks went by quickly at Longbourn. Dr. March saw his patient make excellent strides towards recovery. Mr. Bennet spent most the day awake now and was able to eat and drink on his own. He had not been able to walk yet due to a weakness on his right side that Dr. March sadly informed him would never totally go away. With work and exercise, he would be able to walk again but he would always walk with a cane. Happy was he the day that his daughters' two suitors came to him and requested his daughters' hands. He had taken pains to become better acquainted with his future sons-in-law and found that he liked them both exceedingly.
Mrs. Bennet could not contain herself from her neighbors about what good fortune had fallen on the Bennets. She would have had the wedding arranged, for the sisters planned to be married at the same ceremony, except for the daughters' wish for the father to be well enough to walk them down the aisle. Had her future son-in-law not have been present when she discussed with Lizzy the date of the ceremony, things may have been different. But Mrs. Bennet stood in such awe of her second daughter's fiancé that she ventured not to speak to him, unless it was in her power to offer him any attention, or mark her deference for his opinion.
Mr. Darcy, while understanding his future wife's wish of having her father at the wedding, wanted to take his bride to Derbyshire to see their grand estate. While he was able to tolerate her family, he also missed his dear sister, Georgiana, and was anxious for her to meet Elizabeth. A letter arrived one day from Elizabeth's aunt as she sat in a small copse in the park at Longbourn, and since it took her attention away from Darcy, which of course displeased him, she shared it contents with him;
My Dear Niece,I am so glad to hear that your father continues to make progress. A fall wedding would be beautiful, don't you agree? And just wait until you see the beautiful rolling hills of Derbyshire. The brilliancy of color will astound you I'm sure!
My reason for writing though is for some entertainment until that time. As you know, Jane is to tend for our darling children while your uncle and I tour the Lakes. I propose, with your uncle's agreement of course, that you should join us! This may be our last chance to travel like this, and it would help pass the time until the wedding. On the way home, we can stop at Longbourn to collect Jane and the children so that you both may come with us to London to look at some wedding clothes. We could all shop from Gracechurch Street.
Pray write and tell me what you think of our scheme. I'm sure that Mr. Darcy has estate business that he is neglecting dreadfully and this would allow him some time to attend to it!
Yours affectionately,
M. Gardiner
Darcy laughed at the reference to him and was forced to own that it was true. It had been some time since he had been to his estate and for that matter his townhouse but the thought of leaving his beloved was too much. He proposed an alternative itinerary.
"Why don't you propose to your aunt and uncle to come to Pemberley? You could all be my guests. It would allow you to meet the staff, and we could begin to make any changes you wished to your personal chambers. You could see the whole estate and more importantly, meet Georgiana. Your aunt is from Lambton and would probably enjoy being so close to home again." Elizabeth was amazed at his generosity. It had occurred to her that she would not be allowed to invite her low connections to visit her at home and was glad to hear him propose their visiting. "And then, when you and Jane stay with them in London, I will go to our townhouse and show you that as well."
"Oh, Fitzwilliam, do you mean it? That would be wonderful! I will write to my aunt right away!" She rose to return immediately to the house to attend to her correspondence and share with Jane the new proposal.
"Not so fast, you must pay for your lodging, mustn't you?" he said playfully with a devilish look in his eye.
"Pay you, sir? And pray tell me sir, what would the cost be to stay at the grand estate of Pemberley? Perhaps I am not willing to pay the cost and shall stay at the Inn in Lambton instead."
"Come here, if you dare, and I shall whisper it in your ear. I surely hope that you would favor my price over that of the inn!"
"If I dare, sir? You know sir that I would never cower from any attempt to intimidate me!"
"That is what I am counting on my dear!" She approached him smiling yet unsure of what he would do. She felt butterflies in her stomach and was on her guard as a child about to be tickled. She lowered her head but a few inches from his face to allow him the whisper his price in her ear and felt his arm envelope her waist. She felt his warm breath on her neck and then his lips on her skin. His kisses trailed up her neck, along her face, and finally, rested them on her lips. She wrapped her arms around him, forgetting all that was around her, only he was in her world now.
Suddenly he pulled away and jokingly suggested that perhaps she should stay at Lambton for her own safety. She laughed at him but then was assured that his price, although paid, would probably require additional payments in the future. She left him then to attend to the business for which she had originally sent out. With in a week's time, she received her aunt's response. They were delighted with the idea for her aunt had several acquaintances in that neighborhood that she wished to visit.
The only one unpleased with the idea was Mrs. Bennet for she insisted on joining them in London. For although, her sister Gardiner lived there, Mrs. Bennet was sure that she did not know the best warehouses and would have to be there to assist her daughters. Moreover, it would allow her to see her daughters' houses in town for it was arranged that Bingley should be there too at the arranged time. Colonel Fitzwilliam would join Darcy at Pemberley until the party left for London. It was settled then, they would leave Hertfordshire in a fortnight.
Chapter Fifteen Posted on Friday, 7 January 2005
The days of the next week passed quickly by and as every one of them passed, Elizabeth realized more and more how much she enjoyed Darcy's company. He and his friend were daily callers at Longbourn with the exception of a luncheon or two at Netherfield. The ladies preferred to have the gentlemen call on them, for due to the lack in the Netherfield party of ladies, it was improper for them to call at Netherfield without the guardianship of their mother. On every visit to Jane's future home, Mrs. Bennet could not refrain from proposing some sort of change to the place be made for Jane's comfort. Jane, who only cared for her dear Bingley's company and after proposing some modest changes to the rooms that were to be her own, dreaded these discussions with her mother for her mother was not easily dissuaded. The other couple however, benefited from this situation for it afforded time to be alone. They were able to walk around the gardens of the house without interruption.
On just one occasion, the couple walked across the balcony that opened outside of the music room and led out into a small garden on the shady side of the house. It was now full summer, and although it was a beautiful day, it promised to grow only hotter. Therefore, they restricted themselves to the shade.
Elizabeth knew that Darcy was uneasy but she knew not why. He was silent and his disagreeable façade of old had returned. In an attempt to draw him out with a bit of her humor she began, "Pray tell me sir, what is it that offends you? Have I done something to displease? Or do you just not favor this dress?" He looked at her lovingly, laughing and holding her arm tighter in his grasp. "Or my hair, you suddenly do not like the color? Or the shape of my eyes, they are..."
He stopped her there, "No, dearest love, there is nothing offensive about you - especially your most beautiful eyes. Although, that dress is not the best color for you!" He smiled devilishly and she could not help but notice how appealing he looked when he smiled.
"How dare you sir? Such an impertinent remark! What is wrong with this dress?" She stated this jestingly all the while showering him with a flirtatious grin.
"Well, my darling, the neckline is much too high, but then again, since I am your protector now, it is much too low. And that pale peach does not suit your complexion, I think that green perfectly sets off your hair and eyes. But, that is just my opinion."
"Fitzwilliam Darcy! Shocking - talking about a lady's neckline - what would my mother say if she were to hear you!"
"I'm afraid, darling, that she would side with me for it seems that your mother agrees with whatever I say these days. It may even allow her to hasten our wedding which you know is what she has wanted for some time."
Although his words were spoken in jest, Elizabeth blushed at his all too true thoughts of her mother. He saw this and was very sorry that he had said, even jokingly, something that gave her pain. He stopped his progression, "I'm sorry my dearest if I have offended you, it was not my intention. I have not gotten used to our sportive banter but humbly promise to practice it every chance I get." He bowed towards her and she could help but laugh, her feelings eased.
"Be forewarned sir, to watch what you say, for you might provoke me to retaliate and you know that I have a swift tongue!"
She had mock fire in her eyes and he could not resist her. He took her in his arms and kissed her passionately. He felt her arms move up and encircle his neck. Her fingers were caressing the curls at the back of his head. Her touch drove him crazy. He began moving his kisses away from her lips towards her right ear, slowly down her neck until he reached the little crevice in her shoulder. Her dress stopped his progression there. He smiled as he moved back to appreciate her, she that would be his.
"I see that you are inspecting my neckline sir. What do you think?"
"Oh, Lizzy, I think that I wish that we were married right now so that would not have to be stopped by that dress! Seriously, my love, there is a reason that I was out of sorts this morning. I received a letter from my steward and there is urgent business at Pemberley that requires my personal handling. I had hoped to stay until you left Hertfordshire as well but I fear that I must leave tomorrow. I don't think I can bear a whole week without you."
She too felt a sudden rush of disappointment, so much so that she surprised herself. He was pleased to see it though for he had thought at times she seemed indifferent to him, at least changed from her previous sportive behavior and almost even reserved around him. He had felt that perhaps, it was due to the nervousness surrounding marriage but at other times, he felt that it was due to him - perhaps that she didn't care about him. The subtle look of disappointment on her face now helped reassure him. He smiled down at her and pulled her into his embrace.
She relished being in his grasp. She felt his strong arms around her and enjoyed the solace that they provided. She told him that it was only a week and soon they would be together always. She did not realize that this was like music to his ears. She reminded him soon he would be showing her his Pemberley, their Pemberley.
"Oh my darling, I have not forgotten and it gives me more joy than you can imagine to hear you call it 'our' Pemberley, for nothing gives me greater joy than to think of you there. But that reminds me," drawing back from her, "As to the matter of payment for your lodgings."
She smiled at him and leaned forward, gently planting a kiss on his lips.
The next morning Darcy called at Longbourn during breakfast to say his goodbyes. He was pressed by Mr. Bennet to join them, for every day Darcy had been rising in his estimations. He valued him, not only as a future son-in-law but also as a friend and advisor. In their discussions, Darcy had proved his wisdom which seemed greater than his years. He had shown how deeply he loved Elizabeth, and to Mr. Bennet, nothing showed greatness of mind over that. To the meal however, Darcy refused, saying that he must start off. As he made his way out the door, Elizabeth followed. "Remember my dear, only one week until you visit our home." He reached for her and when he did, she ran into his arms. He kissed her hair and gently made his way down for her mouth. It would be their last kiss for some time. "Goodbye my darling." He couldn't look back at her because he knew he would not have the fortitude to leave if he did.
She watched him ride until he was out of sight and still she did not move. The wind was blowing a gentle breeze at her causing a stray strand of her hair to cross her face. Lifting her hand to force it back into its pin, she touched her face and was surprised to find a lone tear had fallen.
Elizabeth's plan was to keep herself busy until it was time for her to leave Hertfordshire. She spent time helping her father build up his strength by walking with him. She had packing to do and other various chores around the house. She spent time with her younger sisters and her mother for her eldest was still busy with her amore. It took great pains to endure this, between the youngest girls' teasing and the mother's excitement over the wedding plans; she often was forced from the house.
She would walk to Oakham Mount or she would walk towards Netherfield, she walked around Longbourn where she and Darcy had gone together before. It did not matter where she went, she thought only of him and what marriage to him would mean. She began to be a little intimidated with the thought of running Pemberley but what she thought most of, was the way it felt when he touched her, when he kissed her. It felt life was much easier when she hated him, her feelings then when much easier to understand. Now she felt so much, admiration, pride in the fact that he chose her, excitement about seeing Pemberley and meeting Georgiana, and fear that she would not live up to his expectations. It was a humbly experience for her.
He had been gone but three days when his letter arrived. Her face felt a little flushed when her father told her of its arrival. She smiled, taking it from him, and took it to the little copse on the side of the house to read it.
My dearest,How I miss you already. I wanted to let you know that I arrived safely to our home - for yes, it will be yours soon. The roads were clear and weather good but I must confess, I would have made better time if my thoughts were not always drifting to you from my concentration on the road!
I have told Georgiana that you are to come to us, and she is thrilled that she will get to meet her new sister even sooner. She insists that I enclose a note to you. I also told Mrs. Reynolds, our housekeeper so that some preparations are made before you arrive. The rest of the staff, we will tell together when you are ready so that it will not be so daunting when you arrive.
Arrive, my love, I can't wait until that happens - that you arrive home at Pemberley.
Until then,
FD
Attached was not a note from Georgiana for something so long could not be considered a mere note. Four pages had not been enough to describe her happiness, her wish that they be good friends, and to praise her brother. Elizabeth didn't know much about Miss Darcy. Wickham had called her proud and disagreeable. It was obvious that Fitzwilliam loved her and he praised her often, but this could be the result of the familiar relation. Miss Bingley often praised her too but Elizabeth had suspicions about this as well. She did not necessarily think that they were untrue but that Miss Bingley had other reasons for her praise.
She could not help but feel gratification from Georgiana's joyous words and truly looked forward to their meeting. Elizabeth sent a letter relating her mutual admiration, although restrained, of her brother and her pleasure at the thought that they would be meeting soon.
Elizabeth realized that she had another letter to write. Her good friend Charlotte and her husband Mr. Collins had been so kind as to escort her home to Hertfordshire in her father's illness but after staying a fortnight, they had returned home without seeing Elizabeth again. She had been keeping her vigil at her father's bedside and since they had left and her father recovered, she had spent all her time with Mr. Darcy or with Jane. She had neglected them too long and now that she had some time, she took up her pen.
My Dear Charlotte,Please forgive my neglectfulness. I am sure that you have heard from your Hertfordshire relations that Papa is doing much better. He may never be the same again but, considering what we thought, it is truly been a miracle. I have to thank you for your kindness in accompanying me; it was very reassuring for me to have you so close by.
I'm afraid that I can't write you a proper letter even now. I'm preparing for another trip. My Aunt and Uncle Gardiner are taking me to tour Derbyshire with them for a few weeks. My aunt is from Lambton and has several acquaintances that she is anxious to renew. I promise a more detailed account of my journeys when I return.
Elizabeth
She knew that Charlotte had likely heard of her relationship with Mr. Darcy but did not feel that she should own it herself. Mr. Collins was too close to Mr. Darcy's aunt, Lady Catherine. If he wanted his relations to know, it would be up to him to tell them.
Chapter Sixteen Posted on Friday, 7 January 2005
As Elizabeth prepared for her trip the following day to Derbyshire, she joined her sisters and their mother in the drawing room for tea. It was to be her last gathering with just the females of the house for she planned to retire as soon as the dinner table was quit for the journey ahead of her would be long. Her youngest sisters unceremoniously were displaying the new, atrocious bonnet Lydia had just purchased in Meryton upon her entrance to the room. Lydia, as always proud of her purchases, eagerly displayed it to Lizzy. But when her sisters abused it as ugly, with perfect unconcern Lydia exclaimed, ``Oh! but there were two or three much uglier in the shop; and when I have bought some prettier colored satin to trim it with fresh, I think it will be very tolerable. Besides, it will not much signify what one wears this summer after the --shire have left Meryton, and they are going in a fortnight.''
``Are they indeed?'' cried Elizabeth, with the greatest surprise.
``They are going to be encamped near Brighton; and I do so want papa to take us all there for the summer! It would be such a delicious scheme, and I dare say would hardly cost any thing at all. Mamma would like to go too, would you not Mamma! Only think what a miserable summer else we shall have!''
``Yes,'' thought Elizabeth, ``that would be a delightful scheme, indeed, and completely do for us at once. Good Heaven! Brighton, and a whole camp full of soldiers, to us, who have been overset already by one poor regiment of militia, and the monthly balls of Meryton.''
``I am sure,'' said their mama, ``I cried for two days together when Colonel Millar's regiment went away. I thought I should have broken my heart.''
``I am sure I shall break mine,'' said Lydia.
``If one could but go to Brighton!'' observed Mrs. Bennet.
``Oh, yes! - if one could but go to Brighton! But papa is so disagreeable.'' On further inquiry, Elizabeth learned that on their immediate return, their father had been applied to for the immediate removal of the entire family to Brighton. The thought of the spectacle that her sisters would make of themselves was only relieved upon hearing his immediate refusal.
``A little sea-bathing would set me up for ever.''
``And my aunt Philips is sure it would do me a great deal of good,'' added Kitty.
Such were the kind of lamentations resounding perpetually through Longbourn-house. Elizabeth tried to be diverted by them; but all sense of pleasure was lost in shame. She felt anew the justice of Mr. Darcy's objections; and never had she before been so much disposed to pardon his interference in the views of his friend.
But the gloom of Lydia's prospect was shortly cleared away; for that very evening, she received an invitation from Mrs. Forster, the wife of the Colonel of the regiment, to accompany her to Brighton. This invaluable friend was a very young woman, and very lately married. A resemblance in good humor and good spirits had recommended her and Lydia to each other, and out of their three months' acquaintance they had been intimate two.
The rapture of Lydia on this occasion, her adoration of Mrs. Forster, the delight of Mrs. Bennet, and the mortification of Kitty, are scarcely to be described. Wholly inattentive to her sister's feelings, Lydia flew about the house in restless ecstasy, calling for everyone's congratulations, and laughing and talking with more violence than ever; whilst the luckless Kitty continued in the parlor repining at her fate in terms as unreasonable as her accent was peevish.
``I cannot see why Mrs. Forster should not ask me as well as Lydia,'' said she, ``though I am not her particular friend. I have just as much right to be asked as she has, and more too, for I am two years older.''
In vain did Elizabeth attempt to reason, and Jane to make her resigned. As for Elizabeth herself, this invitation was so far from exciting in her the same feelings as in her mother and Lydia, that she considered it as the death-warrant of all possibility of common sense for the latter; and detestable as such a step must make her were it known, she could not help secretly advising her father not to let her go. She represented to him all the improprieties of Lydia's general behavior, the little advantage she could derive from the friendship of such a woman as Mrs. Forster, and the probability of her being yet more imprudent with such a companion at Brighton, where the temptations must be greater than at home. He heard her attentively, and then said,
``Lydia will never be easy till she has exposed herself in some public place or other, and we can never expect her to do it with so little expense or inconvenience to her family as under the present circumstances.''
``If you were aware,'' said Elizabeth, ``of the very great disadvantage to us all, which must arise from the public notice of Lydia's unguarded and imprudent manner; nay, which has already arisen from it, I am sure you would judge differently in the affair.''
``Already arisen!'' repeated Mr. Bennet. ``What, has she frightened Mr. Darcy? Poor little Lizzy! I think not and if she does not make him turn away then I should not worry about any others.''
``Indeed you are mistaken, it is our importance, our respectability in the world, must be affected by the wild volatility, the assurance and disdain of all restraint which mark Lydia's character. Excuse me - for I must speak plainly. If you, my dear father, will not take the trouble of checking her exuberant spirits, and of teaching her that her present pursuits are not to be the business of her life, she will soon be beyond the reach of amendment. Her character will be fixed, and she will, at sixteen, be the most determined flirt that ever made herself and her family ridiculous. A flirt, too, in the worst and meanest degree of flirtation; without any attraction beyond youth and a tolerable person; and from the ignorance and emptiness of her mind, wholly unable to ward off any portion of that universal contempt which her rage for admiration will excite. In this danger Kitty is also comprehended. She will follow wherever Lydia leads. - Vain, ignorant, idle, and absolutely uncontrolled! Oh! my dear father, can you suppose it possible that they will not be censured and despised wherever they are known, and that their sisters and their husbands will not be often involved in the disgrace?''
Mr. Bennet saw that her whole heart was in the subject; and affectionately taking her hand, said in reply,
``Do not make yourself uneasy, my love. Wherever you and Jane are known, you must be respected and valued; and you will not appear to less advantage for having a couple of - or I may say, three - very silly sisters. I shall have no peace at Longbourn if Lydia does not go to Brighton. You are off to Derbyshire and then with Jane to London. Let her go then to her pleasure. Colonel Forster is a sensible man, and will keep her out of any real mischief; and she is luckily too poor to be an object of prey to any body. At Brighton she will be of less importance, even as a common flirt, than she has been here. The officers will find women better worth their notice. Let us hope, therefore, that her being there may teach her, her own insignificance. At any rate, she cannot grow many degrees worse without authorizing us to lock her up for the rest of her life.''
With this answer Elizabeth was forced to be content; but her own opinion continued the same, and she left him disappointed and sorry. It was not in her nature, however, to increase her vexations by dwelling on them. She was confident of having performed her duty, and to fret over unavoidable evils, or augment them by anxiety, was no part of her disposition. She had her own anxieties to attend; the prospect of her future home of which she was to be mistress loomed before her.
Had Lydia and her mother known the substance of her conference with her father, their indignation would hardly have found expression in their united volubility. In Lydia's imagination, a visit to Brighton comprised every possibility of earthly happiness. She saw, with the creative eye of fancy, the streets of that gay bathing place covered with officers. She saw herself the object of attention to tens and to scores of them at present unknown. She saw all the glories of the camp; its tents stretched forth in beauteous uniformity of lines, crowded with the young and the gay, and dazzling with scarlet; and to complete the view, she saw herself seated beneath a tent, tenderly flirting with at least six officers at once.
Had she known that her sister sought to tear her from such prospects and such realities as these, what would have been her sensations? They could have been understood only by her mother, who might have felt nearly the same.
Lydia's going to Brighton was all that consoled her for the melancholy conviction of her husband's never intending to go there himself.
And so Lizzy left them to their revelry, for she had her own trip to worry about. She could not help but confide in Jane that night.
"Oh Dear sister, how I wish that you were to go with me! At least you have seen Netherfield before you were engaged. I have heard such grand talk of Pemberley that I must admit that I should like to have your support with me on viewing it for the first time. And what will the servants think of this little country miss?"
"Lizzy, I have never known you not to be courageous, I'm sure that your spirits will rise to the occasion once it finally comes! And as to the servants, they will love you as Mr. Darcy does I'm sure. I shall miss you though and will try to think forward to our trip to London. I'm afraid that my nieces and nephews will keep me so busy that I will have time to think of little else."
With a sisterly hug, they bid each other good night.