Beginning , Section II, Next Section
Chapter 4 ~ continued
Edward Gardiner’s business demanded that he return to London for the first of the New Year and Jane, now desperately worried about her sister, convinced the family to let her accompany them home. Would it not be a wonderful surprise for Lizzy to find her there when she returned? After all, she had not spent the holidays with family and would surely be a bit melancholy.
She had struggled with sharing her fears with the family, and had decided to keep her own council on the matter. What would be the point of upsetting everyone when they all believed Lizzy happily away on holiday! Her plan was to speak to Mrs. Strickland’s dearest friend, Josephine Randall, who lived just next door. Surely she would know where the family had traveled and when they planned to return? If she still had any reservations after speaking to the neighbors, she would go to her uncle for help.
On their second day back at Gracechurch Street, Jane invented a story that would allow her out on her own for several hours. She told her aunt that she had met an acquaintance on her way home from an outing with the children and had been invited to join her for tea. She had been introduced to Helene Fitzsimmons by aunt Gardiner’s neighbor the last time she had been in town, and knew that her aunt would be happy for her to renew the friendship and therefore grant her permission to go. Jane disliked the idea of deceiving her, but consoled herself with the conviction that finding out about Elizabeth’s whereabouts was more important than anything!
She was just about to lift the knocker on the Randalls’ door when she heard the sound of children’s laughter coming from the courtyard between the houses. Surprised and very curious, she descended the stairs and walked around to have a closer look.
“Oh thank G-d they’re home!” she exclaimed on seeing little Julia running about with a friend, dragging her doll around by the arm. She smiled and waved to the dear little girl when she saw the light of recognition in her eyes.
“Hello Julia! Do you remember me? I’m Miss Bennet’s sister. We’ve met at the park several times – do you recall?”
“Yes,” said Julia rather shyly. “I remember.”
“Good! I am so happy that you have returned from your holiday. Did you have a lovely time?”
“Do you mean when we went to Grandmama’s? That was ever so long ago,” said Julia, looking at her visitor in an odd sort of way.
“Oh, I see,” said Jane, bending down to look into her angelic little face. And being now so impatient to see Elizabeth, she asked, “Would you be so good as to go into the house and fetch Miss Bennet for me? I won’t take her away from her duties for long, I just want to say hello.”
“May I be of service to you Miss?” came the rather stern voice of the woman rushing towards them. She put a protective hand on Julia’s shoulder, as if to shield her from some unsavory stranger.
It was Nanny, to whom Jane had been introduced as well, but whose demeanor was now so different.
“Nanny Morrison, it is I, Jane Bennet. Do you not remember me?” she asked, feeling increasingly uneasy.
“I remember you very well, but am at a loss to understand what business you have here now? It is improper for you to approach the child without an adult present!”
“I . . . I only wish to see my sister for a few moments. As we were unable to be together at Christmas, I didn’t think the family would mind,” said Jane, stunned more by Nanny’s hostility then her words.
“See your sister? I dare say no one in this house can tell you where she has gone? And I must say that it is most insensitive of you to come here and upset the children again after all the heartache your sister has caused!”
“Do you mean that she is not here – that she is no longer with you? Please, Nanny, I know nothing of this! Was she let go? Did she do something to upset the Stricklands?” she cried out desperately as Nanny turned her back and protectively ushered Julia away.
“Please Nanny Morrison! I had a feeling that something was wrong. Please don’t go!”
The older woman turned and gave her a cold stare, but whispered, “Wait!” before escorting the two little girls into the house.
Jane paced outside the courtyard gate, trying desperately to keep from sobbing aloud. Her mind raced from one panicked and disconnected thought to another! Where in the world was Lizzy? And why had she lied to them all about going on holiday with the Stricklands? It made no sense and all the possible expanations were terrifying!
When Nanny finally returned, her face was impassive but her tone was less harsh.
“Do you mean to tell me that your sister did not arrive home for Christmas? She was so looking forward to seeing all of you – or so she said. Well, it is hard to know what to believe of her now!” she said bitterly. “We all loved her and trusted her so implicitly! And for her then to be so cruel as to leave this house without even a day’s notice or a word of good-bye.! The children were devastated – especially Miss Laura! And the Mistress! Well! You can imagine! The poor dying woman thought she had found an angel to help her children through their grief when the time came. For shame! For shame, Miss Bennet!”
Jane had been listening to Mrs. Morrison’s words with tears streaming down her face. She certainly felt compassion for the family’s situation, but now knew for certain that Lizzy was in some sort of terrible trouble! She would never leave these children on her own accord, no less do something so heartless as resign without giving proper notice. Where was she? What had happened to her? And why, oh why had she sent them that ridiculous letter?
“Mrs. Morrison, my sister would never behave in such a way! You must believe me. Something is terribly wrong and I must find her. Who was the last person to speak to her? To whom did she give her resignation?”
“It was the Master himself, Miss. He told us that after he had handed her the banknote, she had smiled callously and told him to find himself another governess – that she had found a higher paying position and would not be back!”
“Elizabeth would never do that! Is Mr. Stickland at home? I must speak with him. There must have been a terrible misunderstanding!”
“No indeed, Miss Bennet! I would not risk his wrath! He becomes enraged whenever your sister’s name is mentioned and has forbidden us to speak of her! No, Miss Bennet, it would be of no use trying to seek him out. He won’t see you!”
“But if you explain to him that. .. . .”
“Absolutely not! I have my own position to protect. Now I suggest you go before someone else sees you! I am sorry! There was a time I really liked your sister.” And with that, she turned on her heels and strode quickly towards the house.
Jane felt her chest constrict and her breathing become painful. Her beloved sister had vanished – and she, who had suspected something all along, had kept silent for more than a week! For 9 days Elizabeth has been out there, on her own, or with . . . Dear G-d, had she been abducted? Is she hurt? Was she forced to write that stupid letter? Was she still al…. . . She could not , would not, finish that horrible thought. How was she going to explain all this to Papa?
She now found herself in a section of London that she did not recognize, for she had walked blindly on for some time. Tears had blurred her vision, and her mind had not been able to focus on the direction home. She was in no condition to speak to her aunt and uncle just yet, her silence and deception weighed heavily upon her. Had she told them where she was going and why, uncle Gardiner would have accompanied her and forced his way in to see Mr. Strickland. Why hadn’t she trusted her instincts from the beginning? How much harder would it now be to find Elizabeth – and when they found her . . . ?
She suddenly became aware of a small Tea Shoppe on the corner of the street and decided to give herself a short rest before continuing. Time was of the essence to be sure, but she had to find out where she was and how to best get back to Cheapside. Entering the establishment, she asked for the small table by the window. Here, she could turn her face away from the other patrons, and stare out into the street in the hope of calming herself enough to continue home. Her view was suddenly blocked however, by the well-tailored coats of two gentlemen who had stopped before the window to chat.
“It’s been awfully good running into you, Farnsworth. It’s been a really long time,” said the tall blond gentleman, his gaze suddenly distracted by the beautiful, slender hands reaching for the teacup on the other side of the glass. The rest of her person was hidden from view by the strategically hung curtains that shaded the diners from the low winter sun.
Those hands! Why they are as beautiful as Jane’s! he thought despondently. You must really stop this infernal brooding! You are driving yourself mad!”
“Do you have the time to join me for bite? This establishment seems pleasant enough. What do you say, Farnsworth?”
“Another time, Bingley. I have an appointment with my solicitor, and must hurry on. But do come and dine with us next week. I’ll send an invitation round once I’ve checked with my wife. She keeps the social calendar.”
“I’d be delighted to come, thank you. Please extend my regards to your charming wife, Farnsworth, and good-bye.”
He stood for a moment unable to decide in which direction go, and taking another glimpse at the lovely hands on the other side of the window, allowed himself to be drawn inside.
He was astounded to see that it actually was Jane, and became immediately aware of her acute distress. She must have come to London on account of her sister, he realized, and knew he had to intervene. When offered a table on the other side of the room, he requested the serving girl ask the young lady by the window if she would allow him to join her, and watched as Jane looked up in utter bewilderment. He saw her features reveal her surprise, her momentary delight (Oh G-d, he hoped that that was indeed what he saw!) and then her embarrassment. But he smiled at her with such eagerness, that it was impossible for her to refuse. She nodded to the young maid and then cast her eyes down towards her teacup.
Why now? After two long years, why today? I cannot bear to have him seeing me this way – red eyed and so miserable! I won’t be able to utter a word without breaking down. … But oh, how wonderful it is to see him! He looks older, more confident somehow and even more handsome than I remember.
She stood rather abruptly as he neared the table. “I’m afraid I won’t be very good company, Mr. Bingley. You may prefer to sit elsewhere.”
“No, no! Please, Miss Bennet. I am not looking for you to divert me; I can plainly see that you’re upset, and wish only to be of service to you. Is there nothing I can do to help you?”
She sat down slowly, shaking her head before having the courage to look into his eyes. “I’m afraid not, Sir. It is a personal matter.”
“Then I shall be careful not to pry,” said Bingley seating himself opposite her and gesturing to the serving girl to bring him some tea. Proceed carefully, man. It has been a very long time indeed!
“It has been a very long time since we last saw each other, Miss Bennet and I must admit to being very happy to meet you again. I only wish you were feeling better. May I ask after your family? Is everyone well?”
“I thank you, Sir. I left everyone at Longbourn well,” she replied softly.
“I am glad to hear it, “ he said, now torn between distressing her further and doing what he knew he must. Forgive me, my sweet Jane! “ . . . and your sister Elizabeth – is she here in London with you?” he asked eagerly, his eyebrows arching up in anticipation.
He watched her struggle for control of her emotions, but despite her best efforts she could not hold back the flow of tears. He handed her his handkerchief and reached out for her hand. She pulled away.
“Forgive me, Mr. Bingley. I am making a spectacle of myself and would much prefer to be alone.”
”I can’t bear to leave you like this, Miss Bennet, and you should not be on your own when you’re feeling so low. Please permit me to stay with you. We needn’t talk at all, if you prefer. Here, allow me to pour you some hot tea; yours must be cold by now.”
She looked into his clear blue eyes and saw the same admiration and affection that had touched her heart in Hertfordshire. But obviously she had been mistaken about his feelings for her then, and what good could come from unburdening herself to someone who was, in essence, a stranger? She brought the cup to her lips, deeply inhaling the steam before taking a sip. The soothing heat calmed her fragile nerves and she sought out his gentle gaze once more.
Perhaps it did make sense to share her fears with an objective stranger. She had no doubt that Bingley had always thought well of Elizabeth, but his reactions to her disappearance would surely be less emotional than those of people who truly loved her. And perhaps he had seen Elizabeth in town these past months and could offer some information that might be valuable? Perhaps he had acquaintances that socialized with the Stricklands and heard a rumor? Or perhaps he had seen Elizabeth with someone who could be of some help? Could she really afford to leave any stone unturned?
“Mr. Bingley,” she said rather softly, “ it is very kind of you to offer your help, and although this is a very personal family matter, I now see that it would be foolish of me turn away from anyone who might be able to lead me to Elizabeth.”
“Lead you to Elizabeth!” repeated Bingley with incredulity. “Is your sister missing, Miss Bennet? Did I understand you correctly?” He looked genuinely shocked and concerned.
“Yes, as unbelievable as it may sound, she seems to have disappeared and I don’t know where to look or what to do!” she sobbed softly into his handkerchief.
“You must start from the beginning, Miss Bennet – if you can, that is. I know it must be painful. But if I am to help you find her, I must have as many clues as you can supply,” he said, gently taking her hand. It cut him to the core to deceive her! He wanted to dispel her fears and take her to her sister immediately, but it was Elizabeth herself who had sworn him to secrecy.
“Elizabeth had taken a position as a governess with a family here in London and we were expecting her home for Christmas,” she began. “She did not arrive home as scheduled, but sent an express some hours later telling us that the family had changed their holiday plans and that she would be traveling with them. My family was relieved and thought nothing of it, but I did not believe it from the first. Only I had seen Elizabeth’s wobbly hand, and only I questioned the brevity of her very vague letter. But I said nothing – afraid to upset everyone. How stupid of me! How cowardly! Had we all come to London in search for her directly after Christmas, we might have her home now, safe and sound.” Jane stopped to dab at her eyes and wipe her nose.
“So you received no other communiqué from her after that?” asked Bingley, deeply pained by her anguish.
“No, we did not! So when my aunt and uncle returned to London, I came with them, and today I managed to get out on my own. My plan was to speak to the neighbors and try to learn as much as I could about the Stricklands’ holiday plans, but to my surprise they were already home! It was then that I received the greatest shock of all, Mr. Bingley! The Nanny claimed that Elizabeth had left her position without giving notice, and that they had no idea of her whereabouts. She was so angry and bitter! I wanted to see Mr. Stickland and hear the story directly from him, but she would not allow me in the house.”
“Oh, Miss Bennet! It is inconceivable that your sister would leave her employer in such a way! I can well understand your disbelief. There is obviously far more to this story than you have been made aware of. Would you like me to accompany you back to the Stricklands’ and demand an interview with the master of the house?”
“No, I thank you, Mr. Bingley, for I think it should be my uncle who speaks to him. But have you ever seen my sister these past six months? Are you acquainted with the Stricklands yourself perhaps?”
“Unfortunately not, Miss Bennet.”
“Where do I go from here, Mr. Bingley? Where do I look? What do I do? I am beside myself with worry!”
“I personally have no knowledge of this Strickland family, but if I knew where they lived I could make immediate inquiries of all my friends and acquaintances. Perhaps someone I know lives near by or is intimately acquainted with them. Perhaps they have governesses who know your sister and have heard some gossip as to what has happened. I’d be most happy to try. Where did you say they lived?”
“On Seacord Lane, number 36, Mr. Bingley. Do you really think we have a chance of finding her this way?”
“I will admit that it is a shot in the dark, but we must begin somewhere! There is little time to lose, Miss Bennet, so I suggest that you allow me to escort you home, and start my inquiries immediately. I shall come by your uncle’s home as soon as I have anything to report. But perhaps it would be best to keep this secret from them for a few more hours. Your uncle will surely go straight to the Constable’s once he understands the gravity of the situation, and then the whole affair will become common knowledge very quickly. I would imagine the fewer people that know about this the better. I promise to be discreet as possible. I shall even find a way to get the information to you without your family being the wiser. What do you say, Miss Bennet? Shall we try?”
She clasped his hand and nodded excitedly, “Yes, Mr. Bingley! Try anything and everything! I shall be forever grateful!”
He had made a lot of promises that he had no intention of keeping, of course. And had Jane Bennet had her wits about her, she might have questioned the reasonableness of much of what he had said! But Bingley only needed an hour to get to Darcy’s and let Elizabeth know that despite his promise to keep her secret, he would not allow Jane to go on suffering so cruelly! Whether she gave him permission to do so or not, he would bring Jane to see her, and he was certain that Darcy would not stand in his way. After all, he now possessed the information Darcy so desperately wanted!
Chapter 5
It was exceptionally mild for the first week of January, and Richard had proposed that they all go to the new exhibit at the National Gallery. Georgiana was eager to go, but her brother, although insisting that he felt much better, grudgingly admitted to feeling too fatigued for so extensive an outing and reluctantly decided to stay home. He sent them off with a promise to take a short walk, just to get some air, and then return home to rest. His walk was very short indeed! It consisted of a few bounding strides up the stairs to Elizabeth’s room, his heart only coming to a restful rhythm once he saw her smiling face.
He was astounded to find her out of bed and standing by the open window, delighting in the spring-like weather. She turned to greet him as he entered and cried out in pain before dissolving into laughter.
“Oh, no! I mustn’t laugh! It hurts too much when I laugh,” she giggled, hugging her midriff. “I am my own worst enemy, Mr. Darcy. I can’t seem to remember not to twist round.”
“How did you manage to get out of bed, Miss Bennet? And where is Margaret? Why is she not here to watch over you?”
“She has been with me all morning, Mr. Darcy, and has just gone to the laundry to fetch some fresh linens. It was she who got me up and helped me to dress. I must thank you again for the beautiful gowns you had made for me – I only expected to have the one replaced. But in any case, Dr. Stevens suggested that walking around a bit would be good for me and he was right! Getting out of bed was a problem, but being up and about is wonderful!”
“Well, I can certainly see that it has made you very happy – but please promise me that you will not overdo. Now that you are on your feet, I’m afraid you are going to feel like a prisoner in this room. I am sorry that my relations have remained so long. Perhaps I can persuade them to go in the next day or so.”
“Oh, Mr. Darcy! I would feel awful if you did that! I am perfectly content here, and hopefully shall be well enough to return home quite soon,” she said, her countenance suddenly reflecting the impact of her words as they registered in her brain.
“It is far too soon for you to travel, Miss Bennet!” Darcy quickly interjected. “The jostling of the carriage could do all sorts of damage. Your bones have barely had a chance to set! No, I forbid it! I shall speak to Stevens, and I am sure that he will agree that it is much too early for you to even contemplate leaving!”
“I believe that Dr. Stevens will recommend anything that you ask him to, Mr. Darcy,” said Elizabeth, giving him a teasing grin.
How wonderful it was to see her so animated again!
“Certainly not! He is an honest and responsible physician – but a wisely cautious one,” retorted Darcy, struggling to maintain mastery over his countenance. Elizabeth burst out laughing!
“Oh, no, no, no! Not again! You mustn’t make me laugh, Mr. Darcy. Oh my, that smarts! And it’s all your fault!” She continued to laugh and clutch her midriff as he came to her side to support her torso. As he held her close, his lips could not help but brush against her brow.
“Hush……, he whispered, “or you may really hurt yourself, Elizabeth. Now come and sit here by the fire and allow me to read an article from this morning’s paper to you. It is about yesterday’s proceedings in Parliament. That should put you in a somber mood.”
It had become part of their morning routine to read the paper together, and Darcy was surprised to learn that Elizabeth was genuinely interested in politics. They followed and discussed the latest issues and arguments, happy to find that although they had been brought up under very different circumstances, they thought very much alike. Not that they agreed on everything, but in essentials, they saw the world in the same way.
Having come to the concluding sentence in the article, he leaned back in his chair to gaze at her. She was obviously much improved in spirit as well as vigor, but the question was, had she healed enough emotionally to discuss her ordeal? Could he persuade her to unburden her heart so that she could begin to put it behind her? For nine days he had struggled with his rage, forcing himself to hold his tongue, and resigning himself to wait until she was well enough to see things more clearly. He had also been too involved in her care to devote much time to finding this villain, and the truth was that had not tried very hard for he wanted Elizabeth to tell him herself. He wanted her trust. He wanted her to give him the honor of defending her!
“Elizabeth,” he began cautiously, “You were especially fretful in your sleep last night. I was wondering, do you were dream of it? Do you have nightmares?”
She was taken aback by his sudden change of subject and turned her head aside to avoid his gaze. He watched her struggle to form an answer, knowing that she was composing what she felt safe in saying, rather than admitting the simple truth.
“Perhaps, I do. I wake up a bit agitated and frightened sometimes, but I don’t really remember any particulars,” she finally murmured. Then rather nervously, she added, “Why? Have I been talking in my sleep?”
“You mumble a bit, but nothing that I can make out.” He paused, and reaching for her hand, looked intently into her beautiful brown eyes. “I believe it would be good for us to speak of it now, if you are able.”
“I don’t think there is much to say, Mr. Darcy, and I would really rather just put it behind me.”
“That is precisely the problem, Elizabeth. I do not think you can put it behind you as long as you insist on carrying the burden of it all on your own.”
“But I’ve explained my reasons to you, Mr. Darcy. Isn’t my father’s health reason enough to keep this secret?” she asked, trying to hide her irritation.
“Of course it is, but perhaps the shock and resulting consequences you so fear would be greatly reduced if you were to arrive home looking well and sounding strong and determined to see justice done.”
“There is no justice for women, Mr. Darcy! Though I suppose I can hardly expect you to understand that!” she snapped. Why couldn’t he simply have faith in her good judgment!”
He experienced her retort as a physical blow and sat quietly for a moment, his dark eyes penetrating hers. She lowered her gaze, suddenly remorseful for the harshness of her tone.
“Forgive me Mr. Darcy; that was unkind. But you must admit that women are never left blameless in situations such as these At first people may shake their heads in sympathy, calling for the scoundrel’s castigation, but in time, most men will wink at each other and chuckle when one of their fellows suggests that the lady’s own behavior may have caused the “ misunderstanding! ” Perhaps she was a teasing wench after all? Can you deny that talk like this would not be uncommon among the gentlemen in your club?”
He rose from his chair to take his usual position by the window, visibly distressed and hard pressed to give her an answer. It only fueled her fire.
“With my family already in disgrace, can you imagine the effect another scandal would have on my sisters’ futures? If the four of us are the picture of propriety for the next year or two, perhaps some nice young farmer or clerk – or widower with children, perhaps, may offer to Jane – her beauty and gentleness outweighing all the rest. But if there is even a hint of impropriety . . .”
“Yes, you are quite right,” he interrupted. “People can be cruel and self serving. But I’ve explained to you that news of this need never get out – not to your family or to the world! Let me share this with you, Elizabeth. Tell me who he is and trust me to defend and protect your honor! Do you not believe me capable of it?” He felt his anger and frustration mounting, and concentrated on keeping himself in check.
“I do trust you - completely,” she said softly, “but I also know that hostile situations are often unpredictable – that the most unexpected things can happen in an instant!. I will not risk your well-being or my reputation by sending you into such a conflict. I’m sorry, Fitzwilliam, but I am determined.”
It was the first time that she had used his Christian name, and the intimacy of her tone and the tender, though resolute expression on her face drew him quickly to her side.
“Do you not think that I would like to share it all with you? “ she continued as his hands encircled her waist. “My heart aches to do so, and yet my head tells me to hold firm. Can you not trust my good judgment in this and let this go?”
“If I thought I could live with it, Elizabeth, I would swear never to speak of it again! But the knowledge of it, or rather the lack there of, weighs heavily on me. Although he remains faceless, I see his smug expression as he congratulates himself on having frightened and shamed you into silence! What else can he think when you refuse accuse or expose him?”
She pulled away from his embrace and went to seat herself once again by the fire, wringing her hands as she stared into the flames.
He came to sit beside her, drawing his chair in close.
“Elizabeth, do you remember the discussion we had at Hunsford concerning the relative distance of a married woman’s home to that of her family?”
She nodded.
“You must have thought me quite mad at the time, and believe me, I felt quite foolish when I left the parsonage. Yet I would like to have a similar discussion with you now, if you will indulge me?”
She could do no more than stare at him – her mind scrambling to figure out what new argument he would now be presenting.
“What would be your view on the role of honesty in a marriage between two people who were truly devoted and very much in love? Do you believe that a secret can be kept by one partner without it bringing harm to the other? Does deception ever bring security to a marriage, or does it eventually become derisive and eat away at the core the relationship? Answer me truthfully, Elizabeth.”
It was now her turn to escape to the window. He was giving her no way out, and although she felt trapped, she was oddly happy to be so. How could she risk losing him now? For two painful years she had hoped and prayed for the impossible to happen, and now he was standing before her, saying all these wonderful things that implied .. … Of course she would tell him if he persisted, but for Laura’s sake alone, she would give her cause the benefit of one last try. She turned to face him squarely.
“You know very well what my opinion would be on the subject in general or you would not have asked it, Mr. Darcy. But this particular case is different because it involves innocents whose lives would be forever altered. And I do not refer to the young women he may possibly attack in the future. . . Do you think me so callous as not to have thought of my responsibility to them? Well I have! And I do – every night. . . . But I do not know these women, nor can I know for certain that he will repeat his heinous act. What I am certain of is that these innocents would suffer for the rest of their lives from the knowledge of his depraved cruelty, and it is they, Mr. Darcy, whom I must protect. Please do not hinder me in this, I beg of you!”
He was moved by her speech, but shocked and troubled as well. So her father’s heart, the possibility of scandal – even her presumed concern for his safety were all stories told to appease him? Who were these “innocents,” as she called them? He couldn’t be certain, but from the sound of it, he doubted they were family members. Then why would she put their happiness above her own?
“You know that I find it difficult to dissemble, Elizabeth, and although I want nothing more than to make you happy, I would be dishonest if I told you that I could make peace with what has happened to you without seeing any resolution! How can you expect me to lie beside you knowing that another man has had his hands on you and that you will not reveal his identity to me? How could any man?” He knew immediately that he had gone too far, but the words, or more precisely the emotion, had burst from his heart directly into and out of his mouth, circumventing his brain entirely! He cast his eyes to the ground and murmured, “Would you let this come between us, Elizabeth?”
He heard her sudden intake of breath and looked up to see her eyes, as large as saucers, piercing his.
But it was at this very moment that their attention was diverted by a loud commotion in the hall, and Charles Bingley came bursting into the room, a disgruntled and breathless Perkins close behind him.
“Good G-d, man! Don’t you knock?” exclaimed Darcy angrily, frustrated to be interrupted at such a juncture!
“I have no time for such niceties!” spat Bingley. “I must speak to Elizabeth!”
They stared at him.
“Forgive me, Miss Bennet , but I have just left your sister in the greatest distress!”
“Jane? Here in London? But why Mr. Bingley,’ she said, her voice rising in agitation.
“In search of you, of course! She is beside herself with worry and already fears the worst! She imagines you lying ill somewhere, or abducted or perhaps already dead.”
“Oh no! That cannot be! I wrote home to assure them that I was well, but on holiday.”
“She did not believe a word of it and came back with your aunt and uncle to find you. Surely you cannot keep this from her now? She must be told immediately; and only seeing you with her own eyes will convince her of your well-being. Please say that you agree, Miss Bennet.”
“Of course you must bring her here at once, Mr. Bingley.. I had no idea that she would doubt the truth of that letter. My poor Jane, what have I put her through!!! How frightened she must be! Please Mr. Bingley, say anything to allay her fears, but let me tell her of the assault. If she hears of it before she sees that I am well, she will be all the more frightened.” She paused suddenly, as if to think something through and then asked, “Do my aunt and uncle know?”
“No, Miss Bennet, she has kept her suspicions to herself thus far, and I would imagine that you would prefer to keep it that way for now. I will do my best, Miss Bennet, but I cannot promise more.”
“Nor could I ask for more! I am so grateful to you, Mr. Bingley.”
“Darcy, a word! Walk with me,” he said as he gave Elizabeth a compulsory bow and hurried out the door.
Darcy hesitated. How could he walk away from her after what had just been said? How could he leave her to think so ill of him? There was no doubt that he had just unwittingly proposed again with his usual flair for delicacy and thoughtful consideration! But this time it had been even worse! It must have sounded more like an ultimatum than a proposal! It was not what he had planned, not what he had meant to say, not what he wanted her to believe! He had to explain – to set things right – to assure her that, in the end, her love was all that mattered to him! And on top of everything else she was now overwhelmed with guilt for her sister’s suffering! He watched her slowly lower herself into the chair, grasping its arms with white knuckled tension, and staring blankly at the floor, rivulets of tears chasing one another down her cheeks.
He went to her, and pressing his lips against her temple, murmured, “I shall return in a moment, Elizabeth.”
He caught up with Bingley at the bottom of the stairs. “What is it, Charles? I must get back to Elizabeth.”
“I have the information, Darcy. I know his name and his place of residence. And as soon as I have collected Jane, you and I can make our plans for his ruin.”
A lump caught in Darcy’s throat. For days he had thought of little else, and now at the very moment of enlightenment, he did not wish to hear it. He wanted Elizabeth to offer it up like the precious gift that it was! Hearing it from Charles would mean that they had argued for nothing, had risked so much for no reason at all! . . . And yet, . . . he could not walk away.
“Who is he?”
“His name is Stickland. Lives in the North End – Seacord, number 36. She was governess to his children. Can you imagine sinking so low as to allow your own lust to come before the happiness of your children? Jane said Elizabeth was highly esteemed and very much loved by the rest of the family.”
Darcy felt his stomach turn as pictures of the attack began to form in his mind. Yet he found himself questioning the credibility of Bingley’s assertion.
“How do you know it wasn’t a male servant in his employ, or a tradesman come into the house? We have to be certain, Charles.”
“Oh I am certain! He proved himself guilty with all the lies he told his family concerning her untimely departure! I have no doubt it was Strickland, but you can decide for yourself when Jane tells you her story. I must go now. I will not allow Jane to continue to torture herself unnecessarily.”
“Thank you Charles. Blessedly, you have been in the right place at the right time yet again, and what is more, you have kept your wits about you and have acted admirably. I owe you a debt of gratitude.”
“You owe me nothing, Darcy,” he said eyeing his friend closely. “Though supporting my efforts with Jane would be much appreciated.”
“You know I shall!” said Darcy shaking his hand. He had opened the door to see Bingley out just as his own family was disembarking from the carriage. Richard came striding quickly towards them.
“Bingley,” hailed Colonel Fitzwilliam, “well if my cousin is seeing you to the door, he must be feeling better! Please don’t leave just yet! Come inside and tell us how you have been.”
“Yes, do stay, Charles,” echoed Georgiana. “Won’t you have some refreshments with us?”
“I’m terribly sorry,” said Bingley bowing to Earl and Lady Matlock, “but I am already late for my next appointment.” He turned to Richard and shook his hand. “You’ll have to forgive me, Colonel Fitzwilliam. We shall have to make it another time. Miss Darcy,” he said smiling at her, “Thank you for the invitation, but unfortunately I must be off. Good day!” He bowed and hurried towards his carriage.
“Well I am very glad to see that you had some company while we were gone, my dear Fitzwilliam,” said Lady Matlock as she slipped her hand into the crook of Darcy’s arm. “Now come into the sitting room and let us have a nice long chat. I feel as if I’ve hardly had the chance to converse with you this visit!”
“I’m afraid that there is something that I must attend to first, aunt – and then I shall be most happy to spent time with you. Unfortunately Bingley interrupted my . . .. .”
“Nonsense, Fitzwilliam! Are you implying that you can make time for your friend, but not for your family? We have hardly seen you this entire holiday! Now you are obviously no longer ill, though a bit weakened, and you know that we shall not tax your strength. Come and make yourself comfortable and we shall entertain you with our tales of the exhibit. Oh, and you would not believe how many people we met that asked after you!”
“Truly aunt, you will have to forgive me. I shall return as soon as I can, but I must excuse myself for a short while,” said Darcy, helping Lady Matlock to a chair and making his escape without looking back or responding to her astonished reaction. But when he reached the stairs and put his hand on the banister, the grip of his cousin’s hand bade him stay.
“What is going on Darcy? I know you haven’t been well, but your behavior towards Mama is inexcusable!” His serious expression suddenly softened as he added, “If I didn’t know better, I would think that you are hiding a mistress on the third floor, the way you keep running off!”
The look on Darcy’s face shocked him. His normally all too serious cousin was now more intense and distraught than he had ever seen him. The look in his eyes was almost wild!
“Good G-d, Darcy! It can’t be true – I was only jesting!”
“Richard, we have always understood and trusted one another, and I desperately need your help now! It is not what you think, and though your usual tactic would be to hound and tease me until I have revealed everything, I beg you now to desist. Trust that I would tell you all if I could, and that I will – very shortly – for I will need your assistance and your guidance! But for now, go back in there and appease your parents on my behalf. Make light of my behavior and keep them entertained until I return. I need some time . . . . . my entire life’s happiness depends upon it!”
Richard Fitzwilliam was struck speechless by the seriousness of his cousin’s impassioned speech! But as the situation required it, he quickly recovered and warmly grasped his cousin’s arm. “I shall do what I can, Fitzwilliam.”
“Oh, and ask Perkins to wait outside for Bingley’s carriage and bid him and his guests to enter through the kitchen. Have him apologize in advance for the necessity of it. And if at all possible, keep your parents on this first floor. We’ve been so careful to be quiet, but now with so many people and. . . “
“Darcy, her Ladyship is exhausted. Without your company to hold her attention, she will wish to go up to her chambers for a rest. I doubt that I shall be able to keep them down here!”
“Can’t you invent something to engage them?” said Darcy, impatient with his cousin lack of imagination. “Give them a good reason to be upset with you Richard – that always works! And your father’s outrage usually lasts a good long time!”
“Like what, for instance? I am so angelic a son that I cannot even imagine it,” he quipped.
Darcy was in no mood for jokes or distractions. “Tell them you’ve fallen in love with a barmaid from Bristol and you need money to support her!” he snapped. “Is that imaginative enough for you?!!”
“Hmm . . . a barmaid from Bristol! I rather like that!” said the Colonel. “With a story like that you’ve got two hours, at least!”
Elizabeth was trying unsuccessfully to compose herself. The thought that she had caused her beloved sister such terrible mental anguish brought on wave after wave of uncontrollable weeping. Yet Fitzwilliam would be back at any moment expecting a response to his . . .proposal? That is what it was, wasn’t it? she thought as she paced the room searching her memory for his exact words. “Would you have this come between us?” Surely he had meant it as prelude to a proposal. Had he not spoken of their lying together; and did that not imply a future together? She was overwhelmed by all that had happened and could not help but doubt the clarity of her own thinking!
A gentle knock on the door startled her.
“Come in,” she replied, wiping her tears with the back of her hand and nervously smoothing her gown.
“I’m sorry, Miss,” said Margaret softly, as she entered to find her lady in an appalling state. “I returned earlier but heard voices behind the closed door. I thought it best not to disturb. Is there something I can do for you, Miss Bennet?”
“Yes, Margaret, my sister will be here shortly and I must pull myself together for her sake! Would you kindly bring me some warm water to refresh my face?”
“Of course. Right away, Miss Bennet,” said Margaret, hurrying out to get it.
Where are you Fitzwilliam? she wondered as minute after minute passed and he did not return. “It couldn’t possibly take this long to see Bingley out!”
She stopped suddenly, her lips trembling as the obvious dawned on her! Bingley must be relaying all he knows! Jane would have had no reason to hide her employment at the Strickland’s from him – especially when he was being charged with helping to find her. But Bingley was anxious to alleviate her sister’s suffering. Surely he would not waste all this precious time conversing with Fitzwilliam now, when he intended to be back in less than an hour! Was Fitzwilliam already on his way to Seacord Lane? Was he rushing off on his own? Her heart threatened to pound straight out of her chest!
Margaret’s reappearance forced her into a meager semblance of calm, but she could not stop herself from asking, “Would you know if Mr. Bingley has gone, Margaret?”
“Oh yes Miss – at least ten or fifteen minutes ago. The Master was seeing him out just as the rest of the family came in. I believe Master Darcy is in the sitting room conversing with Earl and Lady Matlock.” She gave Elizabeth a gentle smile as she handed her the cloth.”
Bless you Martha! Nothing gets past you – does it? Well at least he is safe at home for now, thought Elizabeth. But for how much longer?
Chapter 6
“Who should I say is calling, Sir?”
“Charles Bingley to see Miss Jane Bennet, if you please.” He smiled warmly at the young maid who opened the door.
He was shown into the comfortable parlor and announced to the family assembled there. Mrs. Gardiner was at a small desk writing a letter, while Jane sat beside her nephew, working on a puzzle on the floor. Her eyes widened on seeing him. She rose immediately, and straightening her gown, introduced him to her aunt.
Mrs. Gardiner smiled. She had never met Mr. Bingley, but she knew his name very well. And although she had often heard her sister Fannie berate him for using her poor daughter very ill, she could not imagine him capable of such malice from the look on his open and amiable countenance.
“I’m very glad to meet you, Mr. Bingley,” she said, giving him a genuinely welcoming smile. “Won’t you sit down?”
“Thank you, Mrs. Gardiner. I don’t know if Miss Bennet mentioned our meeting outside a book shop earlier today?”
“No, I forgot to mention it, Mr. Bingley. I’m sorry, aunt,” interjected Jane.
“Yes, well it was a very happy coincidence that we were both perusing the open bins of used books in front of Daugherty’s. And I have come with great news for you, Miss Bennet. That book that you were searching for – the one that is out of print? Well I have a found a copy of it at Sheriton’s on Pershing St.! It is his very last copy, and I had him hold it for me while I came to fetch you. I would have bought it immediately were it not for the missing cover. I didn’t know whether you would want it in that condition.”
“Oh yes,” said Jane excitedly, forcing back tears that threatened to pour forth at the news! “I should really go and have a look at it myself, aunt. It was our favorite book of fairy tales when we were children and Mama gave it away without consulting us.
Lizzy and I vowed to be on the lookout for another copy to replace it when we could, but we didn’t know then how difficult it would be to find.”
“So may I have your permission to escort Miss Bennet to Sheriton’s and then bring her safely home, Mrs. Gardiner? It shouldn’t take too long,” said Bingley, flashing his most charming smile.
Mrs. Gardiner would not be fooled for a moment about the existence of such a book, but it was obvious that Mr. Bingley was asking permission to spend an hour or so with her niece, and that Jane was just as eager to be in his company. Perhaps it was not the most proper thing to allow them to go off alone together, but at twenty-four, Jane was a mature young woman, who although very quiet, knew her own mind and heart. Madeline Gardiner could sense how important the renewal of this acquaintance was to her and would not be a hindrance to her in any way.
“Well, your uncle will be home by five, Jane, and . . . “
“Oh, it will not take that long, Mrs. Gardiner; I assure you. I shall have your niece back long before that! You have my word,” said Bingley, on the edge of his seat.
“Well then, I shall see you both a bit later,” said Mrs. Gardiner rising from her chair.
Jane fetched her pelisse, bonnet and gloves. and smiling appreciatively at her aunt, led Mr. Bingley to the door.
As he helped her into his waiting coach, he whispered, “Keep a calm countenance, Miss Bennet; we are being observed, and we don’t wish to raise any suspicion.”
As soon as they were well out of sight of the house, Jane turned to face him, her eyes pleading for information. “Tell me please! What have you learned? Is Elizabeth safe?”
“Yes, she is safe and quite well, actually. I shall take you to her now, and she will explain everything to you. Mr. Darcy and his sister have been caring for her and you will see for yourself what excellent attention she has received.”
“Mr. Darcy?” said Jane in disbelief! “Whatever is she doing at Mr. Darcy’s? And you said that she is being well cared for? Why does she need to be cared for? Is she ill? Was she hurt?”
“She is quite well now, though she was a bit . . . um . . . under the weather. I cannot say more, Miss Bennet. Your sister wishes to tell you the circumstances behind her sudden disappearance herself. In fact, it was only my promise to her that prevented me from telling you of her whereabouts immediately! Can you forgive me for deceiving you earlier and prolonging your anxiety? Had I been at liberty to do so, I would have taken you to her straight away!”
“But I don’t understand. Why all the mystery and deception? It frightens me, Mr. Bingley. What could be so dreadful as to require such secrecy?”
He reached for her hand and pressed it. “We are almost there, Miss Bennet, and you shall have it all from your sister herself. Just be assured that she is now on the mend, and very anxious to see you.”
Jane instinctively sought out the security of his hand once more and held it throughout the rest of the short journey.
Margaret opened the door to see her master looking more distraught than she had ever seen him, which, coupled with Miss Bennet’s weeping, gave her great cause for worry. “Come in, Sir,” she murmured, not daring to lift her eyes.
“Margaret, would you leave us, please,” he said solemnly.
Anxiously, she looked to Elizabeth, who gave her an almost imperceptible nod, and curtsying to her master, quickly left the room.
For a moment Darcy stood immobilized just beyond the threshold, as if not quite ready to risk the encounter. He looked the picture of misery and Elizabeth shuttered at the sight of him. What had he come to say? Why did he seem so despondent? Had he spoken too hastily? Did he now wish to retract his offer? . . . But of course there hadn’t actually been an offer, had there? Dear Lord, she had let her imagination run wild and now she would have to pretend that nothing at all had ever happened between them! She felt her face flush in mortification as she waited for him to break the unbearable silence.
“Miss Bennet,” he began slowly, “the things I said earlier . . . I would wish you to forget them, if you could. I did not mean to imply . . .”
She cut him off almost immediately. “No, I understand perfectly, Mr. Darcy. You needn’t explain. Our emotions were running high at the time, and it is easy to say things one does not mean under those circumstances.”
“That is true!” said Darcy, “but that does not excuse my crude and insensitive behavior, even if you are so generous as to forgive me so readily.”
She had been standing before the window as they spoke and now turned towards it to avoid his relentless gaze. But within a heartbeat he was beside her, taking her hands in his and gently urging her to face him.
“How many proposals will it take before I get it right, Elizabeth?” he whispered.
She gasped.
“You must know that I love you more than anyone or anything in this entire world. In truth I can no longer even imagine a life without you! And although you are well aware of how flawed my character is, . . . if you would but give me the chance, I would spend every day striving to become the man you want me to be.”
“I’m afraid that would be impossible, Mr. Darcy,” she said softly, …for you are already the best man I have ever known and I could not imagine you better.”
He stood gaping at her, as if unable to comprehend or believe her words. And for the longest time they stared at one another. After all the uncertainty, the misunderstandings between them, the dancing around one another, all the pain and anxiety that had characterized their relationship, they had finally had the courage to speak the words that would cut through it all.
“Miss Elizabeth Bennet,” he said finally, drawing himself up to his full height, though his trembling lips betrayed him, “Would you do me the great honor of becoming my wife? Will you have me, Elizabeth? . . . bumbling, hot-headed fool that I am?”
The sound that escaped her lips was something between a laugh and a sob, as she placed one hand upon his chest and whispered, “Oh, yes, Mr. Darcy, oh yes, I will! . . . that is, if you think that you can put up with such an impudent and stubborn wife.”
“I wouldn’t have her any other way,” said Darcy, drawing her gently into his arms. With a sigh that released the burdens of the world, he let his lips come to rest on her brow and kissed her there again and again. Then slowly, gaining more and more pleasure with every kiss, he allowed his lips to travel along her temple and across her cheek, until they settled most happily on her mouth, taking great satisfaction and solace from the sweetness there in. She had accepted him! Was it possible? His ardor was such that he momentarily forgot her fragile condition and pressed her fervently to him. She let out a cry that sent him cursing under his breath as she laughed and cried out all together!
“Trust your betrothed to keep you from harm, Elizabeth!” he said, disgustedly.
“Oh, but I do!” she laughed, reaching up to entwine her arms about his neck. “You needn’t be so upset, Fitzwilliam, it was only a moment’s discomfort and there is no damage done! And oh, how I do love you!” she laughed as she hugged him and let her head come to rest on his chest.
“My sister and Mr. Bingley will be here soon, and perhaps even my aunt and uncle. What a fright they shall get when they see me! I must try to compose myself. Will you just hold me, Fitzwilliam?”
He nestled his face into her curls and caressed the back of her back neck as he held her gently, but firmly against him. “For as long as you will allow me,” he whispered. “I could want for nothing more . . . except that . . . . . .” He suddenly froze in the midst of their embrace. Gently grasping her shoulders he drew her just far enough away to look into her eyes, “There is something I must tell you before they return. . . . I know, Elizabeth. ”
“I thought as much when you did not return to me immediately, and I’m very glad you told me. Will you promise to do nothing until we have had a chance to talk, Fitzwilliam? I want you to know everything that happened and explain myself to you. Please. . . “
“Of course, I will wait. And I want you to rest easy in the knowledge that I will tread very, very cautiously – and only when I am convinced that my actions will have the desired affect on Strickland without bringing harm to his family. You need not worry about them, Elizabeth.”
She went up on her toes to kiss him and then with a saucy little grin said, “So is that why you were now so ready to propose? – the impediment having been eliminated?”
He paled and could barely choke out, “Is that what you believe, Elizabeth?”
Seeing him so shaken, she immediately regretted her silly remark. She had only wanted to banish the gloom that had once again settled on them, but the entire subject was far too painful to be the object of jest. She looked lovingly into his troubled eyes.
“No, Fitzwilliam, and forgive me for teasing you! What I genuinely believe is that neither one of us was willing to let this disagreement, nor anything else separate us ever again. I know I would not – despite how hard I fought to keep my secret. And although I admit to having been less than certain of your intensions at times, once I knew that you loved me, I was sure there would be no conditions attached – nor would there have been had Bingley not told you! You must believe me!”
He answered her with a deep and gratifying kiss that made them lose all sense of time and place. Breathless and trembling, they separated only at the sound of voices in the corridor. Grinning like guilty children, they adjusted their attire and headed towards the door when Elizabeth leaned in close to whisper, “Let us say nothing about our engagement just yet, Fitzwilliam. Jane will have enough to take in just learning about the assault. Perhaps tomorrow?”
He nodded, giving her one last kiss before preparing himself for the emotional onslaught ahead of them. He reached for the knob, just as Bingley was about to knock.
Jane lingered a bit behind Bingley, afraid of what she might find, but on catching a glimpse of Elizabeth standing there, she rushed in to embrace her. Her happy exclamations were punctuated by tiny sobs that eventually burst into uncontrollable weeping – an emotional release of the tensions pent up for so long! As she wound her arms around Elizabeth, Darcy’s sudden and loud admonition shocked them all.
“No, don’t squeeze her!” he shouted, as Jane was about to tighten the hug.
She drew back immediately, her eyes wide with surprise!
“I’m sorry . . . I didn’t mean to frighten you, Miss Bennet. It is just that Eliza . . ., that is your sister has had an injury to her . . . “
“It’s all right, Jane. Mr. Darcy is just trying to protect me,” Elizabeth interrupted. “I fell against the corner of a desk and hurt my ribs. He’s afraid you’ll injure me again if you squeeze too hard. But I don’t think you could hug me tight enough to satisfy me! Come back and let me kiss you!” She opened her arms to her.
Elizabeth sensed, more than heard, Darcy’s harrumph at the explanation of how she had been injured, and when she and Jane finally separated, she turned to him and said, “Well, it’s true. That is how it happened!” he could do little more than raise his brows.
Jane was now attempting to smile and dabbed at her eyes with yet another of Mr. Bingley’s handkerchiefs. “I cannot thank you enough for taking my sister in and showing her such kindness, Mr. Darcy?” she whimpered. “Our entire family will be forever in your debt, Sir! I still don’t understand how this all came about, but it is easy to see that Lizzy has received the very best of care here, and you have my heartfelt gratitude!”
Darcy flushed with embarrassment. “Perhaps it would be best if we left you ladies to talk alone,” he said. “I’ll have tea sent up. . . . Come Charles, make yourself comfortable in my library. I, on the other hand must see to my poor neglected aunt, who is about to disown me if I do not spend some time with her. I may not be able to return to say good-bye, Miss Bennet, and I hope you will not think it rude of me, but Miss Elizabeth will explain. I am sure we will see each other daily now that you are in town, and I know that my sister is also most anxious to meet you.”
He bowed deeply to her, smiled, and after nodding to Elizabeth, hurried Bingley out the door.
As the door closed, the feelings of helplessness, terror and rage that had been deeply buried demanded release and burst forth in convulsive sobs as Elizabeth looked at her sister’s sweet and innocent face. Like a child that had remained brave while in the company of others only to fall apart at the sight of her mother, Elizabeth let down her guard and gave in to her emotions. She wept bitterly for some time while Jane held and soothed her, not yet knowing the cause of her distress.
When she finally calmed, Jane drew her to the chair by the fire and bade her sit. She sat beside her and held her hand, patiently waiting for her to begin her story.
To her own amazement, Elizabeth found herself relating every detail of her ordeal. She had, at first, thought to spare Jane from some of the more unseemly and personal aspects of the attack, but then decided to lay it all before her. Jane was far too naïve and trusting, always wishing to believe in the goodness of people. A single woman of twenty-four, especially one as beautiful as her sister, would have to learn to be on her guard!
Jane was shocked and devastated by the news of her sister’s horrific experience, but tried to remain strong for her sake. It was Elizabeth who needed consolation – it should not be her added burden to give it! She kept herself talking to keep from weeping.
“I don’t understand how we could have been so wrong. When Papa came to London to speak to Mr. Strickland, he came away with a very fine impression of the man! We were all so sure that you had found a situation with a fine, respectable family. Oh, Lizzy! How does one ever know?”
“I suppose one doesn’t, although I should have questioned why there had been so many governesses before me. But I know what the answer would have been! They would have said that Laura couldn’t warm to them, and I would have believed them. No, Jane, only constant vigilance might have prevented it, and even then . . . I just don’t know!”
They had leaned in towards one another to embrace once more when Margaret knocked, and then brought in the tea. “I’m sorry it took so long, Miss Bennet, but Mr. Darcy was searching for this particular bottle of spirits. He wishes you to have it and says it will do you both good. It is the very finest cherry liquor and purported to be very delicious!” she added smiling as she handed them each a small glass.
Elizabeth’s brows arched as she asked with an impish grin, “And do I have a choice in drinking this, Margaret?”
“I think not, Miss Bennet. His words were, “And see to it that she takes some of this liquor, Margaret. It will calm her!” she said, mimicking her master’s voice.
Jane’s eyes widened in surprise, but Elizabeth laughed and took a sip of the fragrant, ruby liquid. “Mmmmm! Very delicious indeed!” she moaned.
“Oh, forgive my rudeness,” she said suddenly looking to Jane. “Margaret, allow you to introduce you to my sister, Miss Jane Bennet. Jane, this is Margaret . . . . Oh, I am sorry. I never asked your surname.”
“It is Brentwood, Miss. But of course, you have no reason to know it.”
“That is where you are wrong, Margaret. I should know who you really are – I mean, who you are outside this house! Why you have been my nurse, my defender and my friend the last nine days and I owe my health and my sanity in great part to you. How can I ever thank you?”
“Oh, there is no need for that,” said Margaret, blushing. “It was an honor to serve you, Miss.” She seemed to shrink in upon herself as if trying to escape unseen. She had been well trained and completely unused to such attention. But before she could reach the door, Jane cut her off, saying, “Mrs. Brentwood, I would like to thank you on behave of my parents and all my sisters for the care you have given Lizzy. You have been a blessing to us and may G-d bless you in return.”
Margaret murmured her thank you and left the room, while Jane made a mental note to purchase an appropriate and small enough gift that she could bring her without anyone else noticing. She returned to taste the liquor and then poured the tea for the two of them. Her quiet gaze encouraged Elizabeth to continue.
“I can’t even imagine what I must have looked like when I first arrived, Jane! I was cut and swollen with ugly black and purple bruises everywhere. Yet oddly enough, when I first looked in the mirror the only thing I saw was a blind, stupid girl staring back at me. I remember thinking, “You fool – you didn’t even see it coming!
“How could you, Lizzy? He hadn’t approached you before or said anything untoward – had he?”
“No, but I had had a bad feeling about him all along and yet never took the time to consider why. I never associated my dislike of him with anything improper. Perhaps had I been less trusting and more observant! You and I were not brought up to think that way, Jane, and that is why I must speak of it now. You must be wary Jane, and never allow yourself to be alone with any man who . . . .” She was working herself up into such a state at the thought of anything of the kind happening to Jane! Her naive, angelic sister would be destroyed by such an experience!
“Lizzy, Hush. . . “ said Jane, softly. “I promise to take your warning seriously, but please try to calm yourself. You will make yourself ill.”
“I shall always be ill when I think of it. His brutality was not the worst of it! My bruises have faded and my bones will mend, but the memory of what he said to me – the way he looked at me – will always be with me. I was nothing more than a rag to be used and thrown away! It was not desire that motivated him! He wanted only to hurt and humiliate me – nothing more. Had he truly wanted a mistress, I would have understood, but this . . ..” Elizabeth stared blankly out into the open space of the room.
“And Mr. Bingley found you!” said Jane, wishing to distract her from her present frame of mind. “How extraordinary! A blessing from heaven!”
“Oh yes! But can you imagine how humiliated I was? And then when he insisted on bringing me here, I thought I would rather die in the street.”
“Oh, no, Lizzy! Don’t say that!”
“But it is true!” she now laughed. “Life can be so strange at times. Had I not been forced to come here, it would have been very unlikely that I would have ever renewed my acquaintance with Mr. Darcy. And Jane,” she said, with an embarrassed little smile, “I must admit that I have grown very attached to him. He has not only been kind, but genuinely caring and devoted to my recovery. I believe he still cares for me.”
“I saw the way he looked at you, Lizzy, and I sensed something between the two of you almost immediately. But do you think his family would ever allow him to connect himself with ours? I do not want to see you hurt!”
“I believe that his intensions towards me are truly honorable, Jane, but I suppose I am getting ahead of myself. Time will tell, I suppose.”
“Then I shall add Mr. Darcy to my prayers, Lizzy! First, for having been so good to you, and second in the hope that he will one day become my brother!”
Jane rose to kiss her sister, her fingers gently stroking the half healed cut beneath her eye. “How did he inflict this?” she whispered.
“He hit me with the back of his hand, and the stone on his ring was especially sharp. But it no longer hurts and is healing very nicely, don’t you think?”
“Yes, I’m sure it won’t be at all noticeable in month or so. Now tell me Lizzy, what has been done about Mr. Strickland? Has Mr. Darcy gone to see him already?”
Elizabeth now shifted uncomfortably in her chair. Even Jane saw the immediate need to have Stickland accused and censured. Would she now have to plead her case to her sister as well as Fitzwilliam and Mr. Bingley?
“Jane, until you spoke to Mr. Bingley, Mr. Darcy had no knowledge of anything that I have told you this afternoon. I kept it secret in the hope of sparing Laura and Julia any knowledge of it. Who will they have to turn to when their mother dies? They have no one but their father, and as indifferent as he is towards them, they still love him. I cannot bear the thought of stripping them of yet another parent! Mrs. Strickland’s mother is too old and feeble to care for them, and they are not close to any other relations that I am aware of. That is why I didn’t come to aunt and uncle Gardiners’ after the New Year. I didn’t want Papa to find out either! News of this would be detrimental to the entire family and I see no point in making it public! The damage is done and no good will come of stirring things up!”
“But Lizzy,” said, Jane, dismayed by her sister’s words, “think of what he did to you and what he may yet do to others!”
“I know, Jane! That is the one argument that weighs heavily on me! But perhaps once Mrs. Strickland is in her grave, he will remarry and his new wife will be able to keep him faithful. Why should I risk Laura’s heart for something that may never happen?”
“It is a great risk you are willing to take – though I do understand your desire to shield Laura from such terrible news. But Lizzy, I must admit to being eager for revenge myself! He hurt and humiliated you, and then let you run out into the cold without any money or protection from the weather. He should have come after you and at least seen to your safety.”
“Jane, you are attributing common decency and human feelings to him! I’m afraid I cannot give him that much credit! In any case, he would not risk his reputation by coming after me in the street. But dearest Jane, despite all this you must promise to keep aunt and uncle Gardiner in the dark until Mr. Darcy and I have had a chance to sort this all out between us! I have fought too long to give it up so easily now.”
“But Lizzy! Aren’t you coming back to Gracechurch Street with me? Now that you have family to take care of you, it is no longer proper for you to be here – especially with Mr. Darcy so fond of you!”
“It has never been proper for me to be here, Jane, and yes you are right – my place is with aunt and uncle Gardiner. But let me come on my own tomorrow. I can say that I was hurt during our holiday and although I was on my way home, I found the carriage ride too painful to continue. Then you and I can travel together when I feel stronger. Besides, I need more time to convince Mr. Darcy to let this whole business with Strickland go.”
“How will you explain not having any of your gowns or things with you, Lizzy? It will be very suspicious indeed.”
“I don’t know just yet. But I’ve become very good at making up tales and I am sure to think of something splendid by tomorrow!” she laughed.
“I’ve had some experience with dissembling myself, Lizzy! I told aunt Gardiner that I was going in search of a book we once had that Mama gave away. It was a book of fairytales, and you and I have been trying to replace it,” Jane giggled.
“What?” asked Elizabeth, totally confused.
“It’s a long story that I will tell you another time,” said Jane, “for I must get Mr. Bingley to get me back straight away. We promised to be back by five.”
Elizabeth reached out for a parting embrace. “Forgive me, dear Jane, for causing you so much anxiety. How you must have suffered!”
“I would not want to go through that again, Lizzy, but now that I know what happened, I understand it could not have been helped. May G-d spare us any more sorrow over this!”
Upon entering the sitting room, Darcy first saw his sister, pale and trembling, standing pressed against the wall. With every booming admonition coming from Lord Matlock’s deep, resounding voice, she seemed to shrink further and further into the wallpaper. Had she been able to disappear into it altogether, she surely would have done so.
“Richard, this is the absolute final indignity you shall perpetrate on our family. If you do not come to your senses and give up the wench, I shall disown you altogether! Just look at what you have done to your mother! Broken her heart, I tell you,” he shouted, “Broken her heart!”
Lady Matlock sat whimpering into her handkerchief as her son stood defiantly before his father. His face bore the strain of the trial he was undergoing, but his eyes flashed as Darcy came to stand beside him.
”Good G-d, Uncle, what has happened?”
“Well, perhaps if you spent a bit more time with your cousin, Darcy, you would know something about this foolishness. I thought the two of you were close enough to discuss this sort of thing! And you, my UNGRATEFUL, IRRESPONSIBLE, DISRESPECTFUL son, might learn a thing or two about duty and family responsibility from Darcy!”
“What is this all about, Richard?” said Darcy, taking his cousin by the arm.
“I have opened my heart to my beloved parents, Darcy, and told them of my love for a sweet young woman from Bristol. Her father owns an Inn there and like the good daughter that she is, she helps him out in the tavern. I only ask for a small amount to help supplement my income. Beatrice is used to working hard and making every farthing count. I believe we could actually survive on my wages if we had to, but I thought my dear parents might wish to see their son and his family live a bit better!”
“You intend to marry a barmaid from Bristol! Wherever did you get such a preposterous idea!” cried Darcy, glaring at him.
“Actually, Darcy, it came from my close scrutiny of you!” his cousin snapped back. Darcy’s eyes nearly popped from his head. He swallowed hard and waited.
“For years I have been urged to model myself after you, but the more I observe what you have done with your life, Darcy, the more I realize that I’d be a fool to follow in your footsteps!”
Darcy was speechless, but didn’t flinch. Richard would not betray him! What in the name of heaven was he doing?
“Look at him – one of the wealthiest and handsomest men in all of England and he has no wife, no children, no one to make him smile in the morning! He pushes himself from one obligation to another, is often overwhelmed with responsibility, and still has no one to share his wealth or his bed! Well, Beatrice makes me smile, and I shall not give her up!”
Darcy moved in close to whisper through clenched lips. “You are taking this too far, Richard.”
“Hardly far enough, Darcy!”
Darcy’s eyes widened yet again. He had opened Pandora’s box!
“Richard!” exclaimed Lady Matlock, you are forgetting that you are in mixed company and Georgiana need not be subjected to such talk! But you are right on this one point,” she said as she turned towards her nephew, “Your uncle and I have been very worried about you, my dear Darcy. You have not looked at all well for many months now.” And momentarily forgetting the transgressions of her own son, she focused her attention on him.
“Truly, you needn’t be concerned about me, aunt,” said Darcy, not knowing what else to say.
“How can I not, my dear boy?” continued Lady Matlock. “You know your dear, blessed mother charged me with looking after your happiness, Fitzwilliam, and at thirty, you should be settled with a family. We were so hoping that one of the young ladies at the Christmas ball would suit you! Was there no one who caught your fancy?”
“No, I’m afraid not, aunt.”
“Ah, so there you have it! Great concern for Darcy’s happiness and none at all for mine!” snapped Richard. “I am forbidden to marry the woman I love and you are implored beg to find one!”
“Richard is also correct on another point,” said Darcy. “When a man finds a woman that he can love and admire, it is truly a gift from G-d. Not everyone is blessed in this way, and a man would be foolish indeed to let such a woman go because of rank or financial considerations. I have been brought up with a strong sense of duty and familial obligation and have tried to live up to what is expected of me, aunt, but that does not mean that I believe that it is a just or even sensible way to live one’s life! These restrictions have certainly brought me little happiness. No, aunt, I know you will be displeased with my response, but I must support Richard in this. If this young woman is truly the love of his life, then he should forge ahead and build a life with her.”
“I think you’ve gone mad, Darcy!” cried his uncle as he leapt angrily from his chair.”
“Perhaps I have, Sir – no doubt a result of being alone for too long. But I would ask your permission to speak to Richard privately about this. I have some questions of a rather delicate nature to pose to him - possibilities he may not have considered, being so besotted as he is. Shall we continue this in the library, Richard?”
“Lead the way, Cuz! I doubt I shall be missed here!”
“Ah, fellow conspirators!” said Bingley smiling, as he looked up from the book he was perusing.
“Bingley!” cried Colonel Fitzwilliam, “what on earth are you doing here on your own? Why did you not join us downstairs? You would have enjoyed the fireworks!”
“So he doesn’t yet know,” said Bingley, his brows raised questioningly at Darcy.
“No, but we shall remedy that immediately. Richard, have a seat and tell me what you want to drink. I suggest something strong,” said Darcy.
“I’ll have my usual. If this is as serious as it sounds, I will want my wits about me.”
“It is serious – very serious indeed! . . . . Richard, I am sure you remember Miss Elizabeth Bennet from our travels into Kent,” said Darcy.
“Who could forget such a lovely creature? La Bennet! Now there is a woman for whom I would willingly give up the finer things in life! Except that I hold her in too high esteem to wish her to share that fate. Has she finally been taken, Darcy? Has some lucky fellow snatched her up?”
“Yes, I believe someone has. She spoke of such a commitment the last time I saw her,” replied Darcy.
“Bingley’s eyes widened, but as understanding dawned, the pleasure he felt at hearing the news was reflected in his highly amused grin.
“Richard, your fondness for Miss Bennet makes it even more difficult for me to relate what has happened. On his way here on Christmas Eve, Charles found Miss Bennet in the street. She had fled the home of her employer where she had been attacked, with a brutal attempt to violate her honor. Charles brought her here because he felt Georgiana’s presence would be a comfort to her, and we have been caring for her since that time. Stevens was summoned to see her, not me, and my illness was only a ruse to enable me to attend her and make arrangements for her comfort.”
Darcy had expected raging profanity in response to the news, but Richard sat as if immobilized with sadness. His face ashen, he slowly rose from his chair and gently set his glass down on the tray. “And you have not already run him through?” he murmured without expression.
“No, Miss Bennet prevented anything of the kind by keeping his identity from me. I only learned it a few hours ago. She swore us all to secrecy, wishing to keep the number of people aware of it to a minimum. But her sister’s coming in search of her changed all that, and now we have our target. What we need is ammunition, and this is where you and Bingley can be of great help to me. I have promised Miss Bennet not to lift a finger against him until she and I have talked, but that does not prevent me from gathering information and laying the groundwork for our response. The man’s family complicates the issue greatly. Elizabeth is very fond of the children and wants to spare them the knowledge of their father’s actions. So … I need you to learn all you can about the man – his strengths, weaknesses, enemies, friends, business dealings and such. I want to know the source of the money in that house, what his demons are, where is he most vulnerable? And I need you to do it, because I don’t want him to see my face until we are ready to deal with him. I have given Elizabeth my word to be ever cognizant of the family’s innocence in this and to protect them at all costs. And as much as I would like to make the man a eunuch before the day is out, I will make my move only when I am sure that I can satisfy my revenge without hurting his children or upsetting Elizabeth.”
“Elizabeth, is it?” said the Colonel, his countenance brightening a bit as he looked at his cousin? Well, I suppose my dear mama is worrying about you for nothing.”
Darcy grinned as he refilled everyone’s glass and held his up for a toast. “To the ladies from Hertfordshire!” he said, winking at Bingley. “May we ever bask in the warmth of their precious company.”
“Here, Here!!” said Bingley and slapped his old friend on the back.
“Now why am I giving Beatrice up, Darcy?”
“Your concerns are purely health related,” said his cousin, “as the lady is very generous with her sweet affection. Perhaps it would be wise to continue your search for a wife after all.”