Beginning, Section II, Next Section
Posted on Wednesday, 11 February 2004
Breathe.
"Good Morning, Mr. Radcliffe's office this is Cathy speaking how may I assist you?"
His personal assistant answered she almost had, I noticed, a British accent.
"Hi, Cathy this is Elizabeth Bennet from Marketing. Mr. Radcliffe wanted me to arrange a meeting with him early this week. Tomorrow actually... hopefully."
"Ah, yes, Ms. Bennet. I'm sorry but Mr. Radcliffe is engaged all of Tuesday."
"Oh. Doesn't he even have an hour free? This is pretty urgent."
"Actually." I heard pages turn and her answer. "Would it be inconvenient for you if we set the meeting for the lunch hour?"
"That would be great, just that I don't want it to be an inconvenience for him."
"No, Ms. Bennet I assure you it will be quite alright,"
"Oh well then I guess tomorrow twelve o clock it is."
"Ms. Bennet."
"Yes?"
"What would you like for lunch?"
"No, no Cathy please don't go to any trouble."
"But Ms. Bennet I insist it is no trouble at all. It is customary for Mr. Radcliffe to provide food for his lunch meetings."
"No Cathy, I insist. That will be unnecessary."
"But Ms. Bennet-"
"No, please Cathy I'll be fine."
"Oh, okay. Will that be all?"
"Yes, oh and Cathy."
"Yes Ms. Bennet?"
"Please, call me Elizabeth."
"Okay Elizabeth."
"Thank you Cathy I'll see you tomorrow."
"Good-bye, Elizabeth."
As I put the phone down I realized I had sealed my fate. Whatever my fate was would be determined by how tomorrow's meeting would turn out.
I breathed in and out steadily.
I am a rock.
I was hunched over my desk and Cosmo, eating my peanut butter and jelly sandwich (I've loved them ever since I was three) and doing the quiz:
"Are you a dateless loser who'll die an old maid?"
Well that wasn't the title in so many words, but that was the gist of the quiz and the way I was going I was heading fast towards that category. I was interrupted by two knocks on the door accompanied by a singsong voice.
"Knock, Knock."
I looked up to the face of Kurt who surprisingly I hadn't seen since last Monday... "Black Monday" I refer to it, now.
"Hi Kurt long time, no chat."
"You bet ya." He skipped over to my desk and jumped on it as he picked up the open magazine looking first to the quiz then to me.
"No way, you aren't doing this are you?"
I looked up guiltily.
"The situation is worst than I thought."
"What situation." I asked indignantly. "Since when has there been a situation?"
He read one of the questions. "When was the last time you went out on a date? You answered... d) Dates are for calendars and not for me. Answer your question?"
I snatched the magazine from him, opened my drawer, threw it in and slammed the drawer shut. "Well I'm sorry Mr. 'I'm too sexy for my shirt, I pick up more guys than straight Elizabeth'."
He jumped off the desk and came around to the back of my seat and started to play with my hair, now I wish I had it up. "Well, what can I say. And speaking of which, split ends galore you need to get your tresses in a hairdresser's seat stat! May I recommend Juan down on twenty-third? Just tell him my name and he'll give you something fit for the Oscars not to mention that boy can shake his booty better than Beyonce'."
I waved his hands away from my hair and swiveled to face him. "Please I don't need a recommendation. What? Will he give you a free haircut if you recommend him?"
"Yes and he'll give me more than that too... more than what you're getting, might I add."
I stood up and leant on the window with him. "Oh, ha-ha do you see me? I'm convulsing with laughter." I said sarcastically.
"Oh please Liz you bury yourself in your work... boring work might I add."
"And you don't seem to do enough of it, there we go; we cancel each other out."
He sighed and rolled his eyes. "You're gorgeous, Liz. If I was straight I would so set you up."
"I'm not good enough for you am I?" I mocked hurt.
"Oh, of course you are but guys can be so blind."
I shrugged. "Anyway I'm sure you didn't come in here to discuss my flourishing love life which could only mean..."
"Of course, I picked up."
"Where and who?"
"Pablo."
"Pablo?" I said aghast.
He nodded triumphantly.
"Pablo sexy ass?" Pablo was from the mailroom and made daily visits to our humble floor where all the girls would bend over to check out his ass when he walked by. "Since when was he gay?"
"Since my gaydar has been doubling as an alarm every time he walks past my office. At first I wasn't sure but I was flirting with him downstairs in the mailroom, and HEL-LO!"
"What were you doing in the mailroom?"
"I "dropped" something in the mail chute by accident and needed to retrieve it."
I raised a brow. "And what was it that you dropped?"
"Would you believe two tickets to the Lion King."
"Hey I wanted to go to that and you waste it all on Pablo..." I sighed "Pablo." I sat back down in my swivel chair.
"What was that desperate sigh of resignation for?" Kurt asked settling on the table beside me.
"See that's one of the problems."
"What you can't go see Lion King but want to?"
"No, that."
"That?" He quirked a brow up. "That what? Is it one word? Two syllables, movie or book?"
"You know that... that, all the guys are either, arrogant, full of themselves, cocky, have weird habits or have homicidal tendencies. Some cases, all of the above and the ones that are perfect well... they're into you." I answered agitated on the verge of frustration and tears.
He smiled and patted my head sympathetically. "There, there little one it looks like it's time for someone's nap."
I rolled my eyes and took his hand off my head and looked up to him. "Anyway is that all? Care to tell me a few more eligible bachelors to cross off my list."
"There's a list?"
"Figure of speech."
"Anyway, what do you think of the new boss?" It was innocent enough but in the way that he said it there was something underneath it.
I looked up at his mouth threatening to grin insanely, skeptically and cautiously I asked. "Who told you?"
"Word travels fast in this office you should know."
"God, the whole floor knows?"
"Okay maybe I over exaggerated, Anna told me."
I buried my head in my arms on the table and I spoke muffled. "So torture was also on your agenda?"
"Pretty much."
I looked up at him violently as he grinned broadly. "Joking Ms. 'Panties in a twist', emphasis on the MS."
"Well what do you make of it?"
"Definitely, the Christmas pudding theory."
"There are theories?"
"Sure... although Anna thinks it's something else."
"What?"
He bit his lip and looked down at me for a long while. This suspense was killing me as I jerked up straight in my chair. "What Kurt what?"
"Well, she thinks that..."
"That what."
"That, that..." he bit his lip again.
"God, Kurt just spit it out."
"She thinks you're attracted to him."
I gaped at him then let it all out. "What in the world gave her that idea?" I stood and started to pace as Kurt watched me amused.
How exactly did Anna come up with that conclusion, I turned to Kurt where I was now on the other side of the desk. "How exactly did Anna come up with that conclusion?"
"You're acting awfully violently to this. Hmmm, I might have to switch theories."
Maybe I was acting a teeny bit melodramatic but seriously I despise the man.
"She thinks that the reason you get the way you do around him is because you feel awkward around him."
"Damn right I do. He makes me relive my freshman year all over again. But that's just because of the comment he made, I try to prove him wrong."
"See you're trying too hard."
"Okay fine, lets say that, yes, I am trying too hard but that doesn't mean that I'm attracted to him."
"So you don't find him attractive?"
"Look you'd have to be blind not to see that Gucci's, well Gucci. But it doesn't mean I'm entertaining any ideas to..."
"To..."
"To you know... I don't know. I'm not attracted to him. That's it, end of story."
"Who cares if you are, that boy is one hunky piece of tofu."
"Hunky piece of tofu?" I looked at him trying to rewind and play to see whether he actually said what I thought he did.
"What? I've turned vegetarian."
"Since when."
"Since I keep "bumping" into a cute blonde at that vegetarian place down Broadway I call him... Soya-boy."
"What? He's lactose intolerant as well?" I shook my head. "Anyway Anna's theory is totally wrong."
"Well she thinks that you're intimidated not just cause you're in love with him but you react to him in that way because he's so good-looking."
"First of all how did it develop into love? And I'm a bumbling fool because he's so damn fine?"
"Pretty much, it's how your body reacts to the overwhelming emotions you get when you're around him."
"Overwhelming emotions? Please I am not attracted to Gucci he's, he's so... him."
"Exactly."
I fell on the sofa my hand to my head defeated. "Fine, fine believe what you will but know that it's a lie... just, just like Santa Claus is a lie or that he doesn't exist... so this doesn't exist." I told him from my supine position.
He walked over to the sofa and raised my legs and sat down placing my legs over his lap as he started to rub them. "Look, Liz, honey. It's okay. Love works in mysterious ways."
"I am not in love Kurt that's final."
"Okay, Babe, you keep telling yourself that."
"I don't care, resign yourself to that. I have a meeting with him tomorrow and I want to focus my energy on being a rock and trying not to embarrass myself in front of him." I said closing my eyes and leaning back, my head on the armrest and savoring in Kurt's magic hands massaging my legs. "Wow, Kurt were you a massage therapist in another life?"
He continued to massage my legs as he answered. "Try another state... but seriously, Babe, you have such bad tension in your calves."
"You try walking around on heels all day... actually..."
We were interrupted by someone clear their throat and say in a curt voice, at another time someone being curt to Kurt would have been amusing but at the moment it wasn't. "Ms. Bennet, Mr. Lowe."
Kurt suddenly stood up not bothering to acknowledge my legs were still on his lap making me fall off the sofa right on my bum as he answered.
"Sir."
When I looked up my eyes locked with unamused blue/gray eyes.
Great.
I stood up slowly rubbing my backside gently, of course the Gucci radar was still in effect. I thought I had escaped it for today.
"Mr. Radcliffe."
He flicked his eyes over to Kurt who was trying to hold in a laugh. He finally got that Gucci came to see me and made an exit.
"Mr. Radcliffe," he said turning to Gucci then to me. "Li-, uh, Ms. Bennet." He winked then walked out. Gucci saw it and his jaw twitched. Of all the times to come. Now I was in trouble, and I feel ashamed to say I looked up at him like I did to Ms. Marble in grade two when she caught me painting on the classroom windows (I had just noticed the stained glass windows at the church and held a fascination for them).
I took a breath and made move to go to my desk.
"Mr. Radcliffe please take a seat."
"No. I'll be quick, this is in regards to our lunch appointment tomorrow,"
I stayed where I stood and looked up to him, still I noticed, my eyes only reaching to just above his shoulders... and that was in heels.
"Oh yes tomorrow, I'm sorry if it's inconvenient."
"Well, I hadn't told Cathy when you had made the arrangements as this was last minute but, I have prior engagements for that time."
"Oh so you're canceling?"
"Well, yes."
"Sir, we really need to get these in by Wednesday, Thursday at the latest to get the focus groups by Friday."
"Yes, yes I am well aware of that," he said exasperatedly. Then I started to glower telepathically again. "I came here to ask if you would be able to stay in after work."
"Stay in? Sir?"
"Yes, my office five thirty if you weren't busy."
"No, no Sir I am quite free for your taking... I mean that, that my time is free for you to take."
I bit my lip. This was not going well. Bad enough that he caught me lazing around on the job... but then again it was my lunch hour. I looked past his shoulder and realized it was one thirty... oh no.
"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow evening." Before he made to turn away he looked to me again with a firm face unyielding any trace of emotion. Strict and businesslike, as he always was with me anyway.
But why should I care?
"Oh and Ms. Bennet."
"Yes Mr. Radcliffe."
"Please read the memo on office propriety, and get Mr. Lowe to read it, too."
He then turned and walked out as I stared after his back he thought Kurt and I were cavorting, but why? Kurt was gay.
But he doesn't know that!
I am a rock...
So.
Never before have I ever been in a dilemma as to what to wear for the day since trying to get the attention of Charlie Tanner in grade six. Although this time I wasn't trying to get someone's attention no matter what Kurt or Anna said. No, this was strictly professional.
I held up a grey woolen box pleat skirt that came up to the middle of my knees.
I had decided that I would not wear a skirt with a slit higher than halfway up the skirt.
Actually, make that no slit at all... or better yet refrain from the skirt altogether. Put the skirt down on the bed and step away from the skirt... slowly.
I walked in to my closet.
God why should this even matter?
In the end I settled for a black pantsuit, a white wrap around shirt (it was actually kind of nifty it didn't have buttons, instead you put it on like a jacket, then you wrap the left side over first then the other and tied it at the back, the cut gave it a v in the front), a silver locket that Nathan and Brandon gave to me last Christmas with pictures of my favorite nephews inside, ornate silver disc earrings that hung to around halfway around my neck, a silver chain bracelet on one wrist, a black leather watch on the other, my hair pulled back into a small tight bun and okay it might sound weird but the highlight of my outfit were my aquamarine pointed stilettos (how's that at getting height to put him off! I am not a small, meek, incapable, unprofessional executive!)
Suffice to say when I walked through the doors of the elevators to my floor that morning I felt every bit the position I was given. Yes. Every damn bit of it. I walked... no I strode... no I strutted... no just like Giselle on a damn catwalk I glided confidently out of the elevator and to my office without a single hitch.
I am in the zone.
Elizabeth Bennet is in the zone.
The Gucci zone.
Nothing can or will go wrong.
I am immune.
I am a rock.
No.
Elizabeth Bennet is Ayers Rock.
The biggest damn rock in Australia and the world.
Throughout the whole day I kept eyeing the clock, then my watch, then the clock again. Every minute the hand edged closer to five thirty I felt myself start to panic. Which was a joke because what did I have to panic about? Sure he was extremely good-looking and I managed to be a klutz around him not to mention always managing to see me at my worst or at the most compromising time and my ability or make that not my ability to speak properly or sanely to him.
I think I'm breaking out into sweat.
"El."
I jerked startled and turned around from the filing cabinet clutching at my chest to face Anna at the door holding a file.
"El what's wrong with you? You've been all tense this whole day."
She walked over to me, dropping the file on my desk and started to fuss over me. I waved her off and sat down at my desk taking a sip of Coke to calm my nerves.
"I don't know it's this meeting it's in another two hours."
She walked over to the door and I was scared as I half expected her to leave me but instead she closed the door and made her way to me and sat on the table.
"I should've known it was something to do with him. Relax El it won't be that bad."
I gave her a look.
"Okay fine so the last few times you've been with him have gone... how do you put it... not very well."
"'Not very well' that's all you can say? 'Not very well'? Try insanely unlucky."
She laughed as I took another drink of Coke, I was a Coke addict did I mention that?
"Don't stress." She said firmly taking the Coke from me and taking a drink.
"How can I not?"
"What are you stressed about?"
"That comment and wanting so hard to prove him wrong and having things not go the way I want and not wanting him to think I was any more incompetent than he already thinks I am."
"You're very much competent, you've proven it through your work and that's all there is to it."
I closed my eyes and leant on my chair. "I just can't take another incident, Anna, seriously. I don't think my life can take it. You know bad hair days? Well I never get them but Gucci just seems to set it off... don't roll your eyes at me, Anna."
"How'd you know?"
I opened my eyes at her astonished and impressed face.
I shrugged. "And don't think I don't know about your little theory."
"Well I think my theory is a more viable theory than your pudding theory... who told you anyway?"
"Kurt... by the way did you know that Pablo's gay?"
"You're joking Pablo, sexy ass from the mailroom?"
I nodded. "You bet."
"Impossible."
"Oh very much Kurt picked him up."
"Where are all the guys going, huh?"
"What are you talking about? What's James?"
"A puppy dog."
I laughed. "I can't believe that came out of your mouth."
"Yes but I love that guy. El, you'll be fine."
I nodded absently then picked up the file that she had brought in sitting on my desk. "What's this?"
"That's the file on the Randall proposal from a couple of years ago. Why'd you want it?"
"Oh, I'm organizing." I gestured to the filing cabinet. I organize when I'm stressed... which is a good thing because I'm quite an unorganized person without Anna my office and my life would be a mess.
She shook her head then made to walk out when she opened the door however she turned around to face me and said. "By the way El."
"Yeh."
"That's not stress that your feeling."
"What is it then, Einstein?"
"Anticipation."
She closed the door behind her before I got time to reply, I actually didn't have a reply and was actually just gaping at the door.
Anticipation?
I looked down at the file in my hand then sculled the rest of my Coke.
Nah.
DING.
Elevators were never that loud were they?
On one of those rare occasions that I got a stroke of good luck and rarer still for something such as this to happen. I looked as good at the end of the days as I had when I came into work that morning. It was a good feeling really, it really upped my confidence two notches.
I started to walk across the very empty floor; the only light coming from the roof and the odd light or two from surrounding buildings, New York has alarming light pollution. I kept debating whether to put my glasses on or not. So I walked through the floor putting my glasses on then taking them off, then on again and off again. By the time I got to his office they weren't on. So I hung them on the v of my blazer and knocked on the door. Belatedly realizing that Cathy was not at her desk.. I wondered at that as the door opened and I'm ashamed to say what I saw seriously punched all the air out of my stomach.
There was Gucci for once not perfect in his suit. His sleeves rolled up, tie loosened, hair... hair still perfect but still, and top few buttons of shirt undone and, oh god, that little bit of chest that was visible...
DAMN IT!! I was attracted to him.
I mentally cursed Anna and Kurt for jinxing me. But just because I was attracted to him doesn't mean I was into him. I was attracted, but not attracted-attracted.
God he looked good.
I must've been there staring and hope I wasn't... well at least I hope my mouth was closed.
"Ms. Bennet, come in."
I nodded mutely but swallowed and walked in.
Professional.
That was me.
Professional.
Professional.
Professional.
Professional.
I placed my metallic attaché case on his desk and my portfolio and took off my blazer.
S--T!
My glasses.
I got to my knees and picked them up trying not to make a big deal and stood back up straight.
C'mon Elizabeth composed.
I put my blazer behind a chair and sat down and faced him across the table where he looked at me... was it a peculiar look... or perhaps amusement...
That's it attracted or not he can't look at me funny because I am not funny, as I haven't said anything funny, nor am I peculiar... so none of these peculiar looks either...
Enter professional mode.
"So. Mr. Radcliffe I've got the final drafts."
I stood up and opened the portfolio as did he and came around to my side. As he did I caught a whiff of...
Mmmm Calvin Klein.
Snap out of it!
I turned suddenly when I had got all the boards and papers out but didn't realize how close he actually was, in fact he was leaning over me to take a look at what I had spread out and I came face to face with him. I made to talk but I was afraid that I might have bad breath. In such close proximity I cursed myself for eating that garlic bread at lunch.
No hang on I had tic tacs... it's all good.
I cleared my throat and said. "So sir, shall we get started."
"Of course."
The last time I looked down at my watch it was already seven and I realized this meeting was going to take longer than I thought. Although, I had forgotten about my past insecurities as I realized that I was actually a normal, sane human being when I knew what I was talking about. It was those other times that I didn't.
"Ms. Bennet it's seven thirty are you hungry."
As if on cue my stomach rumbled.
Prompt embarrassment.
Here we go.
Surprisingly he smiled. And whoa when William Radcliffe smiled, he smiled... it surpassed any sort of Colgate smile, and he had a dimple. The fact that it was only one dimple made him even cuter.
"Actually, yes." I found myself smiling too.
He picked up the phone and dialed.
"Hello Mr. Ling it's me."
I mouthed. "It's me." So he was a regular. I thought types like him had cooks... and butlers... and maids... and drivers... not to mention three cars...
He turned as he spoke facing the city below, he had a nice view. I sat on the desk pretending to look at a board but actually was checking out my very own view... it was nice too...
God he had a nice butt.
He suddenly turned around and I averted my eyes as quick as I could.
"Ms. Bennet."
"Yes Mr. Radcliffe."
"Would you like anything in particular?"
"If it's not any trouble, uh. Just medium fried rice with beef in black bean sauce and a Coke."
He nodded and relayed what I said to "Mr. Ling".
When he was finished I guiltily got off his desk and went for my attaché case. I was probably leaving marks on his beautiful dark mahogany desk.
"No, it's okay. I sit on it too."
I bit my lip and sat down on the chair anyway and opened my case on my lap and took out my wallet. When he saw what I was about to do he started to protest.
"Please Ms. Bennet, it's on me."
"But Mr. Radcliffe I insist."
"No Ms. Bennet it's my fault that you had to stay in tonight." He smiled again.
I have to initialize my Gucci shield.
I can't let his happen, what? Throw all my morals down the drain and forget what he said all for a pretty face? Not going to happen.
"Are you sure sir?"
"Ms. Bennet, please. I'm very sure." He turned and put the phone down.
I watched him from my seat...
Then I got up and sat on the desk, he walked over to the desk and stood beside where I was sitting and picked up a piece of paper with the estimates for the new proposal.
So I was looking unabashedly at his profile, it was a very nice profile, too. And I noticed how he scrunched his brows together when he was concentrating. I didn't know which I liked the best.
Smiling Gucci.
Concentrating Gucci.
Or Brooding Gucci... hang on that's it he was broody and arrogant.
He turned then and he caught me looking. I think I must've been crimson but he just smiled knowingly and seductively and put the paper down. Sitting down on the desk I was eye level with him and I got a better look at his gorgeous eyes.
He drew me to him by my waist and kissed me tentatively at first, as if testing how hot the water was before you got into a bath. Then he got harder and more passionate and I was kissing back as I drew him as close as I could by the collar of his shirt. I think I must've pulled him down on the desk with me, I don't know when, but without losing contact he was over the top of me on his desk his hands untying and unwrapping my shirt as I untucked his and started to unbutton it revealing more of that delicious chest. It was getting hot and heavy as I felt his hand unzip my pants then go up over my stomach and to my chest as I reveled at how hot his hand was on my skin.
"Ms. Bennet."
I woke up with a start embarrassed at the dream I was having. When exactly did I fall asleep?
"Sir." I opened my eyes and sat up in my chair properly, as I was hunched over his desk.
That's it when I went to get my attaché case I sat down. Well wasn't that embarrassing and it wasn't even that late only eight o'clock.
I breathed in then out I can't believe I was actually dreaming about him and what we were doing... on this desk.
I jerked back violently in the seat so I wasn't touching the desk anymore, nearly toppling over.
"Ms. Bennet are you alright?"
I couldn't look at him without feeling my ears go red and instead busied myself with papers strewn around the desk, picking them up then getting them in line, pretending I didn't hear him. I think it was about the point when I started to shuffle them like a deck of cards that there was a buzzer on his phone.
He pressed it. "Radcliffe."
"Sir, Ted's here."
"Send him up Benny."
I thought. "Benny?" isn't that the name of the security guard? And who's Ted?
He turned to me. "Chinese is here."
I nodded. "I'm sorry I fell asleep, sir."
"No I'm sorry for keeping you in so late."
"But it's only eight o'clock."
"It's close to quarter to nine now, Ms. Bennet."
I looked down to my watch. "Oh you're right. At least I've missed the traffic."
He smiled that Colgate smile and just said. "I'm sorry I'll pay you overtime."
"No, it's unnecessary. I shouldn't have left making an appointment with you to the last minute."
"I'm glad you can take responsibility for your actions."
I was offended everyone makes mistakes and so I went back to glowering at him telepathically again. Needless to say I was peeved at him the rest of the meeting, while we ate and wrapped up. I didn't even care that he gave this Ted fellow (the Chinese food delivery guy and they apparently know each other very well) a twenty-dollar tip. As far as I was concerned forget the Colgate smile and treating me to dinner. Responsibility for your actions my ass...
Oh but that dream it felt so good.
Great, I was having fantasies about Gucci.
"So late night huh?"
Anna asked suggestively walking into my office shutting the door behind her.
"Oh it wasn't that great so take that "El just got laid" look off your face."
"Yeh, but goodness knows how long I've gone without using it. I have to make sure it's still in working order; I mean its been dormant for so long."
"Do I look amused?"
"Highly." She sat on my desk.
"What?" I asked.
"Well come on. Was what you anticipated worth it?"
"It wasn't anticipation."
"What was it you called me yesterday? Einstein?"
"Yeh."
"You should really be calling me Aphrodite."
"Oh please Aphrodite screwed around with people's love lives... actually yeh that seems to be fitting."
"Come on I did not screw around with your love life."
"After you made that anticipation comment I was self conscious the whole night."
"Disaster count at the end of the night?"
"Two... no make that three, the third he doesn't know about."
"Well at least it wasn't that bad."
"I guess."
"So what happened?"
"Well I dropped my glasses, then I fell asleep."
"Really? What's the third?"
"I dreamt about him."
"Juicy?"
"You know Sunny's books?"
She nodded as I continued. "Along those lines."
"Hot?"
"Very, but we were still fully clothed and like starting to undress each other so how bizarre is that? It was hot but we were still wearing stuff."
"Mmmm, imagine if it was the actual thing... but making out can be so sexy."
"God you're telling me, it felt so good."
"Still denying you're not attracted to him."
"Okay I am but not that I'd wanna-"
"Uh, dream." She interrupted.
"Yeh, but that's different. That's 'cause he was in such close proximity."
"Whatever. So, on a scale compared to the other times, of one to ten, one being the most humiliating ten being the least... it is a... drum roll please." She started drumming her knuckles on to the table.
"Five."
She looked at me surprised. "Well done. Not bad, not bad at all."
"Well the difference was I had something to talk about and I knew what I was talking about you see, total confidence booster... you know none of that idle chit chat where I don't think about what I'm saying."
"That's always a good start, next step getting him to have fantasies, too."
"For the last time I don't want him. So, anyway you didn't come in here just to talk about last night, did you?"
"No you have lunch to tell me about that dream of yours, too. David from public relations called and said that they were talking to that author what's his name Stephen, Stephen Jacobson he just wrote a sequel to that book he released last year big hit, what was it called..."
"Killing Your Parents: The Effects of Childhood on Your Adult Life... yeh what about him."
"David said that he wants a big launch, like major launch."
"What's the new book called?"
"Uh, it's How to Raise Your Child to Follow the Law: Avoiding Corporal Punishment and the Death Sentence."
"Well I can answer that for you, discipline and avoid Texas, seriously I can't believe people buy books like that."
She laughed. "Yeh, but get back to David. He's out 'til one so anytime after that we can schedule the meeting."
I nodded as she walked out.
I picked up the phone.
"Hello, Mr. Fairfield's office this is Jacinta. How may I help you?"
"Hi Jacinta. It's Elizabeth."
"Hey, Elizabeth. Paul's out. Want to leave a message?"
"Yeh, tell him we've got the finalized drafts for the focus groups so can he get them from Anna today and have them done by tomorrow morning, then start arranging the focus groups by the end of tomorrow for Friday and then I want a staff meeting just a small one at the end of the day and a proper one sometime tomorrow because David from PR says that Stephen Jacobson wants a major book launch. Tell him the meeting today is only going to be about ten to fifteen minutes because I'm going to distribute the books. Have you got all that, Jacinta?"
"Yeh, all clear Elizabeth."
"Thanks, give Anna a call back to verify that."
"Sure catch ya."
"Bye."
I put the phone down then buzzed Anna.
"Yo."
"Hey Anna. Do you think you can get twenty-three, no make that twenty-five copies of that Jacobson book by the end of the day? Then find out what time Paul's setting the staff meeting for tomorrow and then give a call to Jacobson, his editor and to David as well, to come to it?"
"Sure thing boss."
"Thanks, Anna."
"We still up for lunch?"
"The cafeteria okay?"
"Uh-huh."
"I'll see ya then, oh and write up a memo for the marketing team to meet at the end of the day at about quarter to five. Send one to David as well."
"'Kay. Oh I nearly forgot the auto shop called."
"Yeh and..."
"They got Dexter's new wheels for you."
I closed my eyes and let out a silent exclamation of joy, I'd been waiting for those wheels for the past three weeks. "Okay thanks I'll give them a call."
I picked up the phone and dialed David's line.
"Good morning David Hallow's office this is Megan how may I help you?"
"Hi Megan. It's Elizabeth Bennet from Marketing. He left a message for me."
"Yes Ms. Bennet."
"Can you tell him I received it and that we're having a very brief staff meeting at the end of the day, if he's interested. My secretary will get to you on that. He doesn't have to come but tomorrow we're having another meeting, this time with Jacobson and his editor so it would be great to have David there. Tell him Paul will get back to you on that."
"Sure thing, Ms. Bennet."
"Thanks Megan. Good-bye."
"Have a nice day, Ms. Bennet."
"You too."
I looked down at my watch and saw that it was only ten-thirty.
I felt very accomplished this morning, accomplished indeed.
For the rest of the day as I was finalizing the focus groups and thinking about this new assignment I felt empowered and found a new way to prove my professionalism. It also made me forget all thoughts of Gucci. That was of course until that afternoon at the brief meeting at the end of the day. I had just finished distributing the books and only Paul and I remained, in fact most of the floor had left, too and we were discussing the focus groups we were going to watch tomorrow that when Gucci walked in, I realized something...
I hadn't confirmed anything with him yet before I was off like a woman on a mission.
"Ms. Bennet, may I have a word with you?"
Paul looked to me then to Gucci and silently excused himself so that it was only Gucci and I standing in the conference room. When Paul had shut the door I started to explain myself.
"Mr. Radcliffe, I'm-"
But he interrupted me. I had forgotten that Gucci was now in charge. With the senior Radcliffe, he always just trusted me on whatever I ventured to do. I just sent him the bill. Well, actually I sent it to accounting but he would eventually get it and I would get a phone call from him congratulating me on a job well done. I had not in the slightest thought about confirmation as I was used to my ways... and now broody Gucci was going to give me an earful. I braced myself for the assault, and while I thought I knew what he would do. I was very much surprised to hear him speak without vehemence but annoyance and a firm resoluteness in his voice that reinstated his authority, he wasn't angry and wasn't yelling and talked normally... well what was normal for Gucci anyway.
"Ms. Bennet. While I admire your initiative I would have appreciated it immensely to have at least gotten a phone call of your plans. I think every CEO deserves an explanation or justification as to where their company's expenditures are going towards."
"I am very sorry Mr. Radcliffe. It's just that I was in a moment of some sort of work euphoria when I heard about a possible new venture, I got excited and so got to it straight away, it's just that with your dad-"
"Ms. Bennet I am not my father. I would very much appreciate it if all proposals go pass me first and receive my all clear before following through with any plans."
"Yes sir, I understand I'm very sorry sir, I would've informed you after we had completed the process of discussions."
He continued. "Had it not been for a call from Mr. Jones- Mr. Jacobson's editor- that I would have been completely oblivious to a new marketing project. You do realize Ms. Bennet that by not informing me and not outlining this proposal with me I may have had to pay for something without being aware of it. Tell me Ms. Bennet, do you think it's fair to me to have to pay for something I haven't the faintest clue to what it's going towards?"
"No sir."
"And tell me Ms. Bennet would you pay for something that you have not the slightest inclination was being carried out?"
"No sir."
"So Ms. Bennet in the future please confirm anything and everything with me before implementing them."
"Yes, sir. I'm sorry, sir. I will I just thought you know I've always sort of just worked with the budget assigned to us and James never told me anything about a new policy of talking to you about major new projects, I thought that it was just understood, I mean I should've double checked or something with James about the new policies."
"I believe we had outlined some of these new policies in the introduction meeting that you were late to."
I looked up at him without a trace of emotion, pfft not liking him at all.
"The truth is Ms. Bennet, I would like to have a firm grasp as to what's happening with this company and would like to be involved from start to finish. For all my father's achievements and such, he wasn't very good at keeping tabs on his company's works."
Up to this point I was angry, I greatly admired and liked the senior Radcliffe, everyone loved him and having him being referred to as incompetent, by his own son no less made me even angrier.
"With all due respect Mr. Radcliffe, your father was a fine leader of this publishing house and my admiration and respect for him are boundless. He was great with his employees, had a fine character and a good business mind."
He had a poker face and I had no glimpse whatsoever to the more relaxed Gucci from the previous night, although he was slightly taken aback by my sudden loyalty to his dad but didn't give any indication of it as he spoke again.
"Ms. Bennet I am in no way trying to belittle my father. He was a good man, but his business stratagems weren't that outstanding and by allowing the likes of people like you to run the company for him... well Ms. Bennet my father was quite malleable."
People like me?
"Excuse me sir, but you have no right to slander your father in such a way. He was a good, business minded man, someone who gained the trust, respect and admiration of not just his contemporaries but also," then I said the next bit so bitterly that I startled not just him but myself and in my little tirade I was full aware at how my voice was raising, "people like me."
The floor was virtually empty now except for the odd employee or two scurrying off to get home. We stood there just staring at each other. My heart was thumping hard and fast in my chest. I was going to be jobless tomorrow and I wondered how I had taken it so personally. I guess I was loyal to the older Radcliffe, being so far away from Stickler Bay he reminded me of my own father. What a strange turn of events, for the most part I was in the wrong and acknowledged that. He also made me feel so small and out of my realm and I could see it from his perspective but I couldn't help but want to deck Gucci right there and then.
I looked him straight in the eye, which was hard considering I was shorter than him and my neck was starting to get a cramp from looking up...
Thank god for high heels.
"Ms. Bennet, please. Next time just talk to me first. I would also like to be present at tomorrow's meeting."
"Of course, sir." I kept my voice steady and I had settled down a little.
"And once I approve your plans you and your team will be on your own from then on."
"Yes, sir. Is that all, sir?" My weak way at trying to close the conversation.
He gave a brief nod. "Yes, Ms. Bennet. Have a good evening and I'll see you tomorrow."
He walked out and I looked after him.
Damn that fine ass.
Disaster count.
Nil.
Posted on Saturday, 31 July 2004
In the summer of 1989 I discovered three things:
1. That I had graduated from my training bra to a "proper" bra.
2. That there was nothing more embarrassing than getting your skirt tucked in to your panties after coming out of the public rest rooms.
3. That my best friend Charlie Tanner was not just a boy but a boy .
Charlie was my first crush, my first kiss, my first love... my first everything. He lived a few streets away from me in Stickler Bay, their family were the richest in the town and they lived in this big 'ol house and up until that summer was nothing more than someone I could go down to Taylor's Creek and swim with. Though suddenly, as if a bolt of lightening during a mid-July storm struck me, I saw Charlie Tanner in a different light.
I still remember it, we had just finished playing ball and he had retired back to his home. I was about to walk away yet before he could head inside a girl from our class, Mary Taylor, had stopped him and was flirting with him... as much as a twelve year old could anyway. I couldn't help but feel a little tug at my stomach, I suddenly felt protective of him, and not just in a manner of a best friend. When a week later they had announced they were "together" I came to a realisation that I, Elizabeth Bennet, who was named after a Jane Austen character, twelve and all round tomboy was jealous.
The week that they had stayed together as a "couple" I found myself spying on them, as any girl in my position would do. When I saw them kiss I nearly fell out of the tree that I was using to watch them through his bedroom window.
So, I was a freak... of the mentally unstable variety.
But now, I didn't make it my duty to resign to espionage due to jealousy.
The things you do for love.
A week and a half after Charlie broke up with Mary he kissed me one night over Cherry Coke and fries in his backyard under the stars. My first kiss. I was giddy, my stomach fluttered and my heart was palpitating at a considerable rate. None of my thoughts were coherent save for the fact that I liked it. It was pure and held no ulterior motive. It was innocent and while it wasn't the most expert kiss I've ever had it was definitely the most sincere. At any rate it meant something and continues to hold meaning and a special place in the filing cabinet of my heart.
He moved after that summer; his parents were property developers and were in Stickler Bay up until then to oversee the development of the place.
And they say that first loves last.
Who knew I would bump in to him at Starbucks?
"Elizabeth? Elizabeth Bennet?"
I turned from the counter to face a sandy haired man in a tailored suit unable to grasp the familiarity of this guy until it hit me.
"Charlie? Charles Howard Tanner from Stickler Bay is that you?" I asked amazedly.
"In the flesh. Wow Elizabeth Bennet, Lizzie, the girl next door who socked me in the eye in grade three when I didn't let her on my go-kart. How are you?"
"Don't 'how are you' me Charlie, come here and give me a hug."
He came over carrying his briefcase and hugged me. When we parted we stood in front of each other just letting the fact that our childhood best friend was standing in front of us. Boy he had filled out, and he was a cutie no doubt about it.
"Small world. Wow we should catch up."
I nodded vigorously. "Definitely" I looked down to my watch but realised that my lunch break was due to end in ten minutes. "I can't right now but here's my home and cell... give me a call we'll get together."
Using the napkin that came with my mochacinno, I took the pen from my organizer and wrote my cell and home number on it, he too did the same. I handed him the napkin, which he took and put in the breast pocket of his coat and he handed me a business card with his office number on the front and his home number scrawled on the back. We stood and looked at each other for another moment still reeling from the fact that the person in front of us, was the person in front of us.
"I should go or my boss will have my head." I grinned and stepped forward to give him a tight hug.
"I'll give you a call." He told me as we parted.
I nodded sternly. "You better."
Then I walked out of that coffee house with a slight skip to my step.
The last time I had a sleep over was when I was fifteen. We had rang up Greg Sutton from the garage who was four years older than me. Of course in freshmen delight when he answered and not only knew who I was but actually talked to me I got over excited. Imagine my disappointment when I had planned to make a move on him only to find out that he was interested in his co-worker David. I'll never forget that experience, or that night at the sleep over. It was the last time I got to be a kid again before the demands of high school caught up not just with me but with my friends, too. It's a reminder of my childhood when things weren't so complicated, not that things for me now are over complicated. My life just lacks that simplicity of childhood and naivety, before the world catches up with you.
What brought about this sudden rumination was the fact that Anna was over believe it or not, to sleep over. She told me that lately I had been so preoccupied with everything and nothing and she sought to rectify that problem. So I indulged her and right now we were watching Sleepless in Seattle, although not usually one to be a hopeless romantic... it was a secret pleasure.
"So, hypothetical." Anna said beside me. "You meet a guy over the radio or the net or whatever through the desperate and dateless ads-"
"Are you trying to hint at something?"
She laughed lightly. "No, what I mean is would you go for it? Would you take the risk?"
"Allow me to take this opportunity to sound like an eighteenth century heroine and answer, I'm only resigned to act in a manner that would constitute my own happiness, so yes... yes I would."
"Really? But you're always so practical."
"Well let's say maybe I'm abandoning that for a moment... anyway I'm not the practical one; my sister is."
"But she did marry her high school sweetheart, don't you think that's pretty romantic?"
"Maybe there's just a little romantic in all of us... even guys in their own sweet ways. All jokes aside, I really haven't felt that in a long time. Not that rush of emotion or, or that can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars over the fence,"
"World series kind of love." She finished with me. I looked to her. " It takes two?" I asked referring to the movie with the Olsen twins and Kirstie Alley.
She grinned and nodded as I sighed. "Maybe the right person just hasn't come along. I mean ever since I was fourteen I've wanted the perfect guy to come along and knock on my door, hand me a mix tape, elope to Vegas to get married by Elvis and ride off in to the sunset on his Vespa. Frankly, that guy just hasn't come along... that or he can't find a tape recorder and he's still downloading on Kazaa to burn a cd for me. But I highly doubt that."
"Why a mix tape? That's so eighties."
"Oh Anna there is much you have to learn. Most people don't know the significance of a mix tape. The fact that they've taken the time and thought to mix you a tape of songs that remind them of you or your relationship. Call me a closet romantic but I think it would be the single most thoughtful and sweetest thing anyone could ever do for me, and it has to be from their own free will. I wouldn't tell them to go out and do it 'cause that would just take away the significance of it."
"Never knew you thought about this a lot."
I threw a pillow at her and she laughed. "So describe the perfect guy."
"How old are we exactly?"
"Hey we're at a sleepover it's the requisite boy talk."
I rolled my eyes but humoured her. "I'll only tell you if after this you do my hair."
She grinned. "Get on with it."
"Well he'd have to be tall, but I think that's just an adverse reaction to the fact I'm short. He doesn't have to be drop dead gorgeous but nice enough. The attractiveness of a guy usually goes up or down the more I know about them. If initially I had rated them an eight cause they were gorgeous but found out he had several other girlfriends then he's a minus three. He has to have a sense of humour, and he has to have motivation. He has to be someone I can argue with."
She screwed up her face. "Okay you'll have to elaborate on that."
"Well, I don't want a guy to just submit to me; that's boring. A guy's gotta have balls, not to mention he has to have his own ideas and theories. Someone I can argue with about politics then three seconds later have them kissing me madly." I sighed. "The truth is I think I set my expectations so high that it's comes to a point where it's prevented me from meeting a member of the male species as a prospective mate."
"But why settle for second best?" Anna asked.
"Exactly. Besides I don't see the point in dating, in my opinion I think you just know it or not. It's spontaneous, it just happens. It'll be this moment where I'm looking at him or talking to him and I just think... wow, you're the one."
Anna sighed and settled against the couch. "You really are a romantic."
I shrugged. "I don't know. When I was eighteen I had a five-year plan figured out. I knew what I wanted to do. Finish school, finish uni. Get a job and work my way up. Dating and boyfriends and the likes of, just never fit in to the picture."
"I can't believe I nearly forgot to tell you, guess what James told me last night?"
"What?"
"They're considering making you junior V.P. for marketing."
My eyes widened. "No way."
She nodded grinning. "Yes way."
"I've only been there four years, I'm not even a senior exec. yet... this is amazing... I would've thought Gucci would've prevented it."
"Apparently James said, that it was entirely his decision, your superior Oliver Allen had suggested you cause he was so impressed with your dedication or something. This is happening because Paul Thomas is leaving, but it's all hush-hush and it's between you and Trevor Park.. James said most definitely you."
"Time to celebrate!"
I stood up and as I got into the kitchen, the phone rang. I called out for Anna to get it for me as I took out two glasses and a bottle of Bailey's. I walked out where Anna was holding the phone with her palm on the receiver and was just looking at me with a peculiar expression on her face. I put the glasses and Bailey's down on the coffee table and stood next to her mouthing. "What?"
She whispered in response. "And who exactly is Charlie?"
I think my eyes lightened up and I plastered on a stupid grin. "None of your business." And I took the phone off her.
"Hello."
I heard him on the other end and I grinned. "Ms. Bennet glad to have made it through to you after the twenty questions your secretary fired at me."
I threw Kate a look and shook my head. She just settled on the couch and drank her Bailey's.
"Oh don't mind her. So what urged you to call?"
"Well it's only ten thirty and I was alone in my apartment and I saw the napkin and I thought why not."
"And did you expect me to be alone on this Friday night?"
"I was hoping... but I guess you're not. So when did you switch teams?"
"Charlie Tanner."
I heard him laugh on the other end of the phone. "I'm just playing with you. But I better not deter you from your friend."
"I'm glad you called."
"I'm glad I called too... so when are you free? Do you think we could catch up some time?"
"Sure, how about tomorrow."
"Sorry, can't, I have a family thing."
"I'm busy Sunday going in to the office. Um how about we do lunch, no obligations afterwards if you know what I mean."
"Lizzie, are you doubting my ability to show you a good time? Or my prowess in keeping you interested for an extended period of time?"
I smiled. "Just are you up to it?"
"Yeh. Tuesday? I'll be there... and where is 'there' exactly?"
"Uh, Starbucks where we bumped in to each other."
"I'll see you there at one?"
"Uh-huh."
"I'll see you then."
"Good."
"Good." He echoed.
"Should be good."
"Yeh should be good." He echoed again. I rolled my eyes.
"Good-bye Mr. Tanner."
"Sweet dreams, Lizzie."
"You too."
When I put the phone down I faced Kate.
I was in for a long night explaining my history with Charlie.