Section I, Next Section
Posted on Sunday, 28 December 2003
Maybe I was cursed, but out of no intention yet through sheer coincidence my mother married a Bennet. Yet through no coincidence and blatant intention she named her first born (me) Elizabeth. While it's familiarity or irony may not register in the minds of a lot of people, to those that completed twelfth grade English and had to mind you, sit through it with twenty two other seventeen and eighteen year olds the name Elizabeth Bennet could become very tedious.
My mother was a Jane Austen enthusiast however she was no longer studying late eighteenth century literature when she had my younger sister and proceeded to name her something a little more forgiving - Sunshine. While singularly it does seem a bit daunting as she grew up she adopted the nickname Sunny and me? There was no escape from my mother's obsession in that year of 1977. My friends, bless their naïve souls, believe that it's a sign and are positive that I would meet my own Darcy.
Yeah, right.
While I was twenty seven my mom had this inherent fear I'd die an old maid not being settled down already and not having a stable relationship since high school and not been out on a date for almost one and a half years. My sister Sunny on the other hand was four years younger than me with two kids having had her first child at nineteen.
In other words, "I'll take big mistake for $200 dollars."
Although, she was happy with her disposition and her husband Steve (a cop) was a good guy, not to mention I adored my nephews, so when I think about it maybe it was me who made the big mistake of being too ambitious.
In this day and age twenty-seven was still young, and what brought about my sudden philosophizing was that I had just celebrated my twenty seventh birthday three days ago (New Year's Day, January 1st) and number one on my new year's resolution was for all it's cliché and deeper meaning context, was to stop and smell the roses. After much consideration I realised I had hardly took the time of being twenty six… or five, or four, or three for that matter. My life was going to start passing me by if I didn't slow down, and so that was it for the year of 2004 -
Be twenty-seven and love it, every damn minute of it.
"This train is now due to depart please stand clear, doors closing. Next stop Times Square."
I tried to shuffle closer to the door so I could get out easier at my stop. I hated it when my beloved SAAB Dexter (named after the salesman who gave me the very generous deal) was in the shop. I utterly hated the tube; the people all packed in together it rekindled my deep childhood fear of claustrophobia. Not to mention its success in always managing to be running late on the off chance I took it. I looked down to my watch as I tried to ignore someone's bad b.o. behind me.
8:45.
I was forty-five minutes late for work and fifteen minutes late to the board meeting. As soon as the train stopped I rushed out as fast as I could without knocking people over and bounded up the stairs to the open air. Of course precisely because it was me who was late and hated the train and was running up the stairs out of the stuffy enclosure of the subway, as if on cue it started to rain. Up went my metallic attaché case in an attempt to block me from the rain pelting down on the verge of hail. Pebbling down I started to run cursing the gods for my bad luck the case doing nothing but keep a few drops of water off my face. As I came closer and closer to the Radcliffe building my heel got stuck on a drain.
Trying to pry it out while keeping the case over me proved to be a very difficult task indeed. So I pulled and shielded with very little success on both tasks until finally I pried my heel free and stepped in a puddle of water just before the automatic doors.
Shit.
I entered the lobby in a mess, my ponytail dripping wet, beads of water running over my body and as I looked down at myself, low and behold thanks to the weather my shirt was going see through no respect whatsoever to the fact that I was wearing a black bra and as if the gods were mocking me and watching me for their own twisted pleasure I looked out again to find that the rain had stopped. Yes the rain had stopped.
Damn The Ozone For This Unpredictable Weather, Damn You!!!
I sloshed into the elevator with amused glances from other workers and proceeded to my floor where thank goodness, the other executives were at the boardroom. I went straight to my office asking my secretary for a new pair of pantyhose and as I struggled to compose and make myself presentable I walked into the boardroom and proceeded to sit at my seat with the least possible commotion but of course, my seat was on the furthest side of the room away from the door and as I sat down courtesy to my wet ass I slipped right off the leather seat. I stood up as gracefully as I could (was that possible in this situation?)
"I'm sorry, I really am very sorry." I apologized to the people in the boardroom and sat back down. It was somewhere between evaluating our goals for the coming year and meeting out company expectations when I received a note from Kurt next to me that read in that Kurt humour.
"You're looking a bit under the weather this morning."
I gave him a death stare as he tried to suppress his laughter; the rest of the meeting went pretty much to this effect as I kicked him under the table. It was near the end of the meeting when a man I hadn't seen before suddenly stood up and James the one directing the meeting said.
"Another reason for this meeting was to introduce to you the new CEO for Radcliffe Publishing the son of Mr. George Radcliffe, Mr. William Radcliffe."
There was polite applause as a man near the front stood up. He was tall about six two with dark wavy/curly hair and if I didn't know better could very well have been a Gucci model and that was only his back, when he turned piercing blue/grey eyes flicked over the room haughtily and even over me disdainfully no one is ever disdainful with Elizabeth Bennet and yet he was and apparently he had the authority to as he was the new CEO and my new boss…
Realisation, shit new boss.
Of course I had forgotten amidst my uneventful morning that we were to meet the new CEO today and I could only imagine what he thought of me. Hang on he was disdainful… I knew very much what he thought of me. I buried my face into my hand.
Why? Why was this happening to me? The gods were definitely having a field day with me today and I probably couldn't pray to any deity considering they all decided to gang up on me and it didn't even help that Gucci out front was so devastatingly good-looking as in painfully good-looking and epitomized the whole tall, dark and handsome spiel. I was being punished and I realised I knew why… it was because of that extra pudding I had during Christmas dinner.
Oh no new CEO, new boss meaning…
Possible retrenchment and office reorganization?
Punished… definitely being punished.
I was walking back to my office during lunch thinking to do some extra work while the others were out when I passed by James' office, the door ajar and I having that annoying human quality of curiosity, eavesdropped, suffice to say they did not lie when they spoke that curiosity killed the cat as I recognized the other voice as belonging to Gucci.
"You really have to re-evaluate your staff James."
"I don't know Will they're a good bunch best we've had in a long time."
There was a pause and I took the opportunity to scoot in closer.
"I don't know I mean a couple of them weren't even paying attention I saw that one man head of personnel Kurt was it passing a note to that young woman who walked in late… oh and don't get me started on her if she's a reflection of all Radcliffe employees please spare me the heart ache."
"What do you mean?"
"C'mon were you oblivious she came in almost thirty minutes late, soaking wet you could almost see her bra, she was wearing black undoubtedly too. She disrupted the whole meeting and was a klutz she couldn't even sit on her chair the first time. How hard is it to sit on a chair?"
Why that pompous son of a…
"Don't be unfair Will she's a good worker devoted all her time to this company… your company. She's only been here for about four years and she's the youngest executive. I guess she was just having a bad day."
That's it Jamie boy you tell him.
"Whatever just, she's meant to be a model employee being so highly ranked does she even understand that one of the responsibilities of her position is not just her standard of work but her presentability, not to mention punctuality. She has to be better prepared for situations she could've I don't know had a change of clothes ready in her office. She has no sense of professionalism."
Professionalism my bum… what would he know he only got the position because of his relations.
"Why are you singling her out?"
"Because it's hard to comprehend how someone like her could've been part of the board team."
What do you mean someone like her? Why I ought to knock Gucci, knock him down flat.
"She's been an executive for almost two years now she does her job well."
"I'm just saying Radcliffe needs to maintain a higher standard that's what makes us better and that's the first thing I'm going to enforce in my position. Setting a higher standard of workplace practice."
This was definitely it, bad day, bad hair, bad complexion (checked in the mirror damn those bumps) and now apparently bad boss.
"Excuse me Ms. Bennet are you okay?"
I jumped up as if I had been caught red handed, which I was but she looked to me for an answer. I nodded.
"Yes, yes I am Diane I was just…"
I was just what? Eavesdropping on your boss and Gucci.
"I was just passing by."
Great real great that was weak, as weak as someone with arthritis' bones.
"Oh okay."
I decided to change the subject to get out of this awkward moment as she was still looking at me with skepticism.
"So you're in early from lunch."
"Actually Ms. Bennet it's one o clock already."
"Oh well…"
The door suddenly swung open to reveal Gucci and James at first startled I was there.
"Oh hi Elizabeth…"
He looked to Gucci and introduced me.
"This is Elizabeth Bennet, and Elizabeth this is William Radcliffe."
"Elizabeth Bennet?" He half asked half stated with a raise of the brow, like I didn't know that was my name and just happened to be the same to a certain heroine in a book.
"Yes… Sir." I added strained. I was glowering at him, albeit telepathically but I knew he could feel my glower vibes… he turned to James.
"I'll see you this Friday for dinner?"
"Yes, good, I'm glad you're coming."
He nodded to him then outstretched his hand to me. "Ms. Bennet, pleasure." Short, blunt.
I took his hand. "Mr. Radcliffe pleasures all mine sir. "See I can be professional."
He was about to walk off but he stood there staring at me, as was James whose mouth was agape.
Great did I say that out loud?
I closed my eyes and opened them as they both stood there. Apparently I did… and did they hear… yes, yes they did. So I played dumb, yes I was dumb and an eavesdropper… as I said punishment.
"I just came to see you James about the spreads for the new promotional campaign."
James didn't speak as he nodded and held the door open on the verge of bursting out laughing.
"I'll see you Friday Will… uh Mr. Radcliffe." James said after I had gone in.
Gucci nodded then somewhat perplexed yet still with an air of arrogance proceeded to walk away. I was already sitting at the couch when James settled down beside me grinning from ear to ear.
"I gather you heard."
"You gathered correctly what an arrogant jerk and what does he mean by someone like her? He said it so condescendingly like he was next in line to the English throne."
"Settle Gretel." He laughed. "I think he was just a little frustrated today."
"Why? The bank got his account balance wrong, or wait let me guess couldn't decide what Armani suit to wear today."
He laughed lightly again before speaking. "No. But, I'm assuming the reason for the visit was not the spread for the new marketing project?"
I shook my head. "Anyway James, it was just today I'm not always like this am I? He just irked me after the day I've been having so far."
"Well why don't you tell me about it."
"That's precisely what I was going to do with or without your invitation."
"When do you ever need it?"
"Hello."
I picked up the phone sitting at my desk in the study typing up the last figures for the budget for the new promotion."
"Hey Lizzie it's me."
I smirked. "Hello me."
"Don't try to get smart with me. Anyway I called because this Saturday is Nathan's fifth birthday party and I was just wondering if you were still free."
"Of course anything for my godson."
"I was just making sure you weren't going into the office or anything."
"No definitely not I've made sure I'm free."
"Good. Anyway we haven't had a chat in a long time care to start."
"Actually you wouldn't believe the day I've had Sun."
"Yeh."
"Yes, nothing short for a trip to the therapist."
"Well tell all I'm good for a listen the kids are in bed, Steve's out for the late shift and there's nothing I'd rather do than listen to the misfortunes of my beloved sister."
"Are you being sarcastic?"
She laughed on the other end. "No I'm serious go on."
I relayed the story of my atrocious day to her.
"Why are you so amused do you not realise I have to buy a new pair of stockings because my favourite pair were so badly damaged by the rain and has a run longer than the New York marathon."
"So Gucci huh… what did you say his name was again?"
"Radcliffe, William Radcliffe."
I heard her gasp on the other end. "He's not part of the Radcliffe brood is he?"
"I'm assuming yes."
"How can you be so oblivious and you work for the man… him and his brothers' were voted the most eligible family about two years ago."
"Really… and why should I care?"
"Well if he is then I envy you having to see him everyday."
"For your information I won't be seeing him every day he's situated on the top floor because he is, uh, so above me." I mocked haughtiness.
She laughed lightly again. "I'll see you Saturday I have to go it's quarter past twelve and Brandon has this uncanny knack for getting up at five forty five every morning… and get some sleep."
"Bye."
I put the phone down and looked at my laptop.
Sleep would be good.
Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid… would it have killed you to set the alarm correctly? So here I was in exactly the same position that I was in yesterday stumbling into the office late at least without the hindrance of a meeting and at least minus the rain. However the alarm not going off, the train ride, person with b.o. and beloved Dexter still in the shop played a major part in starting my day off on a low.
It was not however, made any easier that I disregarded my secretary's warnings that when I rushed into my office I failed to realise someone else in there.
"Late again I see Ms. Bennet."
I whirled around.
"Mr. Radcliffe I had no idea you were here."
"I would've thought your secretary would've informed you."
I looked to the open door where Anna stood there and shrugged before walking away. I made my way to the door and closed it and sat behind my desk in front of him.
"What can I do for you?"
But I knew, he was going to fire me, damn it he was going to fire me. Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it…
"Ms. Bennet what do you think."
"Huh, I'm sorry."
He sighed exasperatedly, great now he thinks I have a low attention span.
"I was outlining my ideas for the new promotion and was wondering what your thoughts were in comparison to the ones you and your team have drawn up."
I sighed. "My job is safe for another day."
Gucci gave me an incredulous look before saying. "Of course it is."
I said that out loud, would the gods never forgive me for my extra Christmas pudding?
"Sorry sir I don't know what's come over me as of late and I assure you I'm usually very attentive it's just that I've had to resort to taking the subway and I'm claustrophobic and I'm missing Dexter he's getting fixed up, you see he won't stop emitting unnecessary gas."
His face had the most peculiar look. I closed my eyes again and realised I had been rambling. I must've sounded like a freak to him.
He stood up.
"Your problems Ms. Bennet are of no concern to me and should not interfere with you work. Now please get in touch with my personal assistant to appoint a meeting between the two of us so we can discuss this at a more suitable time."
I followed him to the door before I opened it for him.
"I'm sorry sir I really am I mean I got my period at the worst possible day."
I slapped myself mentally I had said it before I had thought of it and while this served me well a lot of the times it was a positive thing to a fault, this being one of those occasions.
He raised his brow and opened the door yet before he walked out he turned to me and said.
"Just please Ms. Bennet get in touch with my p.a. and arrange a meeting soon, and I hope your boyfriend gets his problem fixed."
My eyes widened like saucers as he walked away and I shut the door. I hit my forehead on the closed wooden door. Every time I meet him I manage to do or say something stupid and now besides thinking that I was hormonal, in his mind my apparent boyfriend Dexter had a flatulence problem.
Still definitely being punished!
"Anna, do you wanna go out for lunch today I'm in need of a serious pick me up."
Anna looked up at me and smiled disarmingly… why did she have to be so beautiful?
"Sure thing boss and you can tell me what drove you to hit your head on your door more than a few times."
"I have one word… Gucci."
"Gucci?"
"Yes, Gucci now let's go."
I looked to Anna over my cheeseburger and my Coke.
"What toy did you get?" Anna asked inspecting her small Cabbage Patch.
"I got a Matchbox truck." I took mine out of my box and showed her.
"Giving it to your nephew?"
I nodded and proceeded to put the last morsel of my burger in my mouth and finished my Coke.
"Ready?" I asked Anna.
"Yep."
We both stood up, I tipped the rest of her fries into my box as we took our coats and walked out in the cool New York air. I inhaled and exhaled.
"I love this place."
Anna nodded beside me as I absently put a fry into my mouth.
"So are you dreading the day after tomorrow?"
I nodded my head profusely. "You bet, I don't know what the gods have in store for me at a meeting with Gucci, alone."
"Oh El you don't seriously believe that some higher order of power is punishing you for eating an extra Christmas pudding."
"You bet I do if I don't I'd have to blame myself."
She laughed as we crossed the street.
"Oh El."
There was a brief pause before she asked me.
"Do you want to come out with James and I this Friday night?"
I didn't answer, instead I was wondering why Friday night sounded familiar, was I going to do something that night? Was someone else doing something that night? I couldn't help but feel I had heard arrangements for Friday night but I brushed it off and answered.
"And be the third wheel… again? Please Anna I do have a some shred of dignity."
"No James is bringing someone."
"No… no blind dates."
"It's not it’s just a little outing no obligations I promise just a night out in town with a couple of friends."
I hesitated still couldn't help that nagging feeling at the back of my head but complied anyway. "Okay, fine… no obligations and swear he's not just someone to distract me so you and James can make eyes at each other without feeling guilty."
"Scout's honour."
"Good, I'll hold you to it."
Much to my dismay the day after the next… today. Came sooner than I had expected, yesterday had gone off without a single disaster and in the afternoon I had Dexter back lovingly into my arms. So this morning I was at work on time, groomed and oozing professionalism… I could so be professional and now was the time to prove that pompous Gucci that he was wrong in all his judgments and sadly he would never know me as I was probably going to hold his comments against him forever. I was going to prove him wrong definitely as the gods decided to focus all their energy on some other poor soul… I was forgiven for that Christmas pudding. Forgiven indeed.
It was three o clock and tentatively I took the elevator with Anna's bright face the last thing I saw as the doors closed saying "Good Luck" her thumbs up. I was going to the top floor… his floor… his domain and I wouldn't let it get to me. I clasped at my portfolio tightly waiting as I got closer and closer to the floor. Smoothing out my pencil skirt I wondered if maybe I shouldn't of chosen the one with the slit a little high up. I wouldn't want him to think I was trying to seduce him good god no. I put my hand to my side parted low ponytail and made sure everything was in order, my blue and white striped shirt creaseless and perfect. Instinctively I brought my hand to my neck where my silver chain hung. Yes both my earrings were in my ears and my black pointed shoes were impeccably polished. My square rimmed glasses sitting on my nose properly.
I closed my eyes as the elevator dinged. I could do this. I let out a breath and opened my eyes again as the doors opened and I walked on to the floor. it definitely wasn't as packed as my floor there were just doors and clear walled boardrooms. Directly in front of the elevator were two wooden doors partitioned off from the rest of the floor with a secretary's desk just inside the partition where a studious looking woman of about her mid twenties. I wondered how she got personal assistant to the most powerful man in the company and still be younger than me… I had a mind to note too that she probably got paid better than me… unless Gucci was one of those superficial types.
Head held up high and with purposeful strides I walked to the desk where the young woman looked up over her glasses to me.
"Ms. Bennet?"
"Yes."
"Mr. Radcliffe will be with you in just a moment he is currently engaged in a conference with some Japanese investors please excuse the delay."
"Okay."
"Take a seat."
She gestured to a sofa where I sat down and she stared at the computer screen typing extremely fast without looking. She had intelligent type eyes and was probably very pretty without her glasses and if she just abandoned herself a little… I liked her.
Suddenly the phone rang and she picked it up.
"Yes sir Ms. Bennet's here now I'll send her in."
"Mr. Radcliffe will see you now."
I stood up as she went back to typing.
Before I opened the door I took another deep breath and opened the door where a stream of light spilled in coming from two walls of window. At a giant oak desk sat Gucci impeccably dressed in a suit and tie in his chair… make that his throne as the painting behind him closed up over a giant TV screen.
He stood up as I came in and leant over the desk to shake my hand.
"Ms. Bennet."
"Mr. Radcliffe."
"Take a seat and we can begin."
I sat down and started to open my portfolio and dismantled a small easel onto his desk. I stood up and stood behind it as I took out my first board.
"Sir, this spread was the initial pitch. As you can see it's nothing too flashy or jumps out at you, it definitely does not scream at you. While some people see this as a bad thing our angle is that we want to project a more classic and distinguished approach to reflect the thrust of Radcliffe's purposes. This however is only for the education texts as education goes hand in hand with tradition on the other hand however with the fictional works…"
I took off the board and put another one on "We decided that for every genre would be another ploy…"
He interrupted me then and I wondered what his highness had to say.
"Ms. Bennet it's hard for me to fully grasp everything that you're showing me. This desk is irrationally too large and if it would be okay, for you to come over here so we can discuss it."
I nodded and picked up my stuff and went over to him where he sat at the table and I started to set up my easel again.
"Ms. Bennet you don't have to be too formal this meeting was to throw our ideas around it isn't a presentation, so just spread out your pitches and we'll work from there."
I was annoyed on the inside but forced myself to speak. "Okay."
Doesn't matter that I stayed up all night trying to articulate it into a presentation.
I complied with him and I stood behind him as he sat in his chair and we started to discuss. It was a pretty good meeting though I couldn't help but still feel like he looked down at me even if he was the one sitting down. from my vantage point however I was able to see that his eyes were amazing and that he was very good-looking especially as the time wore on.
What was I doing checking him out?
Although he did smell very nice… very nice indeed.
Stop it… stop it!
The meeting went on without a hitch and I was extremely proud of myself for pulling it off in a very professional manner yes and I succeeded in proving his earlier assertions wrong. When we had finished he stood up and shook my hand to my horror I realised that he towered over me and I only came up to his shoulder and had to literally look up to him.
Damn my genes, I hated being short.
"It's been a pleasure Ms. Bennet, I hope to see a second draft of those pitches with the things we discussed today."
"Of course sir when did you want them by?"
"Next week."
"Next week?" I spluttered.
"Yes next week, I want to release our promotions by the end of January, even the end of January is too late but will have to do. we need to get those out as soon as possible, it's the start of the year people will be expecting it."
I nodded. "I see. I'll start those pitches and by the end of next week we'll do some market research with the live testing groups."
He nodded. "Do you need help clearing?"
"I don't mind sir."
But he helped anyway, there were so many boards and pieces of paper and I struggled to get them all in my portfolio, and with equal purpose as I had come in. I made my way around the desk very happy that I pulled that off, then my foot got caught on the chair leg and down I went papers and boards flying everywhere.
Great just when you've proved a point you go and do something like trip over to make him doubt you.
I got to my knees straight away and started to pick up the paper and boards.
"I'm sorry sir."
"No, no are you okay?"
"Yes. I am."
He too got on his knees and helped me pick up my things as he handed them to me when he picked up some more boards I caught him flick a look over my body. What was he doing? Checking me out? I seriously doubted it, perhaps there was something wrong with me. When I looked down to where his eyes had momentarily rested I realised what it was. In the course of being on my hands and knees my skirt slit had inadvertently risen revealing the end of my stockings and the start of my suspenders with a healthy amount of the side of my thigh showing…
I knew I shouldn’t have worn this skirt I knew it. I quickly got up, no doubt he probably thought even less of me now, not that I cared just that I had been hoping nothing embarrassing would happen during the meeting where I was trying to prove him wrong… I had proven him right.
We both stood up at the same time as he looked at me. Great he was sizing me up. He was scrutinizing me listing mentally my faults. He handed me my easel silently.
"Thank you Gucci."
I closed my eyes as I realised what I said… did that really come out of my mouth?
Please tell me it didn't.
When I opened my eyes I realised that yes, yes it did as he gave me a peculiar look.
"I mean Sir, Mr. Radcliffe, thank you sir."
"What did I say about problems Ms. Bennet? Are you stressed?"
"No sir." I didn't want to give him a reason to give me time off and subtly fire me... I've seen it happen.
"No sir, in fact everything's fine, especially now that Dexter's back… my car, now that my car is back."
"Dexter is your car?" He asked slowly.
"Yes sir he is, I named my Saab after the salesman that sold it to me… he gave me a very generous offer."
He nodded slowly. "Okay Ms. Bennet I'll see those promotions next week."
"Yes Mr. Radcliffe."
Was that amusement in his eyes? I turned and fumed, so he was laughing at me too… it seemed the gods were still punishing me.
Thanks to the incident yesterday I had spent the whole day self-consciously tugging at my skirt to make sure that the slit didn't ride up. So today I made the decision to wear a pantsuit, nothing can go wrong with a pantsuit, especially my favourite Dolce and Gabbana pantsuit. I wore it to important meetings and interviews and also…
When I wanted to feel special.
The truth was, I needed to feel special.
The day was uneventful and I had succeeded in not doing anything embarrassing, probably because my biological Gucci radar didn't detect anything and therefore found no need for me to embarrass myself. At about five o clock Anna poked her blonde head in the doorway with her coat on.
"Ready?"
I looked up to her and nodded turning my computer off and standing up getting my coat on too.
"Yeh let's go."
As we walked to the elevator Anna had an unscrutinizable look on her face.
"What is it?"
She turned to me as we both got in the elevator.
"What? Nothing."
"C'mon don't play dumb with me girl you're just dying to tell me something and won't."
She closed her eyes.
"It's about who James is taking with us, and you have to promise not to get angry at me I only found out today."
"What? He's just gotten out of prison? Oh I know there's a giant mole on his neck and I'll be gawking at it all night."
"Well…"
"Well what?"
"Don't be angry but…"
"But what?"
Just then the doors opened and I heard James' voice.
"Ladies…"
I turned still smiling and then I realised who was standing with him and my smile faded slowly.
Gucci.
Posted on Monday, 29 December 2003
I was driving Dexter to the city's limits, to suburban New York where my sister lived and where my nephew Nathan was having his fifth birthday party. Yet due to the events of the previous night my thoughts were otherwise more occupied. These thoughts however, were not pleasant at all. Rather memories I'd want to suppress and only relive in a therapy session twenty years from now. As far as my new year was starting and if the last couple of days were of any indication to how this year would turn out, I would definitely be in need of those sessions.
Sunny always said I was too melodramatic though I very highly doubted at how trite my misfortunes were, on the contrary. At this point I was very much reconciled with the idea that the gods still hadn't let up and this bad luck was all due to a certain individual whose presence always managed to set off the klutz I thought I had overcome when I was fifteen.
But no, instead it was only dormant waiting for the most opportune time to rear it’s ugly head or an instigator of sorts, for it to come back with a vengeance. It's effects returning tenfold…
It was making up for lost time you see.
If I had learnt anything in physics it was that every action had an equal and opposite reaction and so I was hoping that this particular law of Newton would come true for me… another thing I had also learnt not in physics but at a new age convention (dragged to at the insistence of Anna) was that in order for life to run smoothly as it did there was such thing as harmony and balance. In other words some lucky fool somewhere out there in the world was receiving enormous bouts of good luck courtesy of me or the other way around. Any minute now I'm waiting to hear that someone's won fifty million in the lottery or something.
I pulled up to the double story paneled house not dissimilar to the one we inhabited in our childhood. I was early as is custom for relatives and realised the absence of my usually overwhelmingly prompt mother and father (they usually took this time to visit from our hometown Stickler Bay). I pulled up in the driveway and leant over in the backseat to get Nathan's present. I bought him a Playstation. I knew he was probably a little too young though I couldn't help but want to spoil him. Sunny did not approve of me spoiling Nathan and Brandon but I couldn't help it they were the only kids in our family and it was my compensation for not providing them with cousins as Anna and I had grown up with a lot of them. Anyway he would be the coolest kid in Kindergarten when he started school in September to have his own Playstation.
I got out of Dexter, wondering momentarily at whether it was wise that I wore my suede boots considering it looked like it had snowed. Oh well bad luck.
I stepped out and thank goodness that it wasn't at all bad.
I locked Dexter and proceeded to walk to the front door. When I had arrived to the front door without any slipups I commended myself.
Doing well Bennet, doing very well…
Oh that's right I'm doing well because my Gucci radar was probably tired from working overdrive last night.
I rang the doorbell and eyed the Christmas wreath still on the door front. The door opened to reveal Steve in khaki pants and a burgundy sweater carrying a ladder.
"Hello Lizzie." He said putting the ladder down and giving me hug.
I smiled as I retuned the favour.
"Hello Steve, where's the birthday boy?"
No sooner had I said it that the boy in question came running out from god knows where screaming in delight.
"Auntie LIZZZZZZZZIE!!!!!"
He ran to me as I picked him up and perched him on my hip.
"You're getting big Nathan how old did you say you were turning? Three… or was it four."
"Five!"
"Oh of course."
I put him down just as Sunny emerged with Brandon in tow wearing a chief's headdress. She walked to me giving me a hug.
I addressed Brandon at his mother's knees. "Hi Brandon."
He only looked up at me and put his right hand up. "How!"
He walked away and I gave Sunny a questioning look. She shrugged and explained. "He's favourite movie at the moment is Peter Pan."
"At least his not trying to fly."
"Thank goodness, anyway I'm so glad you made it."
"Of course I made it I can't believe you're still doubting me even after I said I would Monday and Thursday."
She then caught sight of the box I was holding in one hand.
"Lizzie tell me you didn't…"
"Didn't what?" I asked trying to hide my guilt.
"Give that to me." She made a move to take it as I held it away.
"No, this is for Nathan," I turned around and spotted Nathan watching us. "Here you go this is from me."
He took it and was about to open it when Sunny told him sternly. "What do you say to your Aunt Elizabeth, Nathan?"
He looked up to me and very deliberately and slowly, pronouncing every syllable in the sentence he said mimicking Sunny. "Thank you Aunt Elizabeth."
I looked down amused then to my sister. "Well, aren't we growing up to be quite the smart ass."
"Honestly I don't know where he gets it from… but I have half a mind to blame you."
"What are you talking about?"
"Oh please like I don't see you two hanging out and you, teaching him how to get under my skin."
I shrugged and smiled. "Hey I've had years of practice… almost twenty four in fact."
She was about to say something else when we were interrupted by the squeal of a very happy five year old.
"Wow a Playstation 2!"
"Yeh a Playstation 2… and guess what else I brought you."
He rummaged into the box and pulled out a case. "Tekken Tag Tournament."
"Yeh we can play as soon as you get your dad to hook it up."
He walked away looking for his dad that when I turned to my sister she was not amused.
"I told you not to get him that, now that's all he's going to be doing… it'll rot his brain cells."
"What? I couldn't help it it's a Playstation 2 and it's Tekken Tag Tournament, the game is fun... it's cool... it's alliteration."
"You spoil him Lizzie, you really do."
"C'mon Sun I love the little tyke I don't spoil him at all."
"Lizzie do you remember what you got him the Christmas that's just passed?"
"Of course I do." I answered remembering the delight on Nathan's face at opening his very own dirt bike… so it may have been much but I couldn't resist.
"Well we haven't been able to take him out on it yet and everyday after opening it, he'd get up in the morning put on that little uniform and helmet you got him and ride it around the garden, ruining my gardenia patches."
"So that's not that bad, plus he's using protection."
"Yes Lizzie but he also rode it inside leaving a mud trail all over the floorboards and the rugs."
"You're not serious?"
"Sure am Steve had to put it under lock and key in the garage."
I started to laugh at how annoyed my sister was.
"Don't laugh Lizzie you really have to stop spoiling him and taking his side in everything he knows that if there's something wrong or doesn’t want to do something there's always Auntie Lizzie who'll buy him things and be on his side all the time."
"You've gotta give the boy some confidence."
"Even when he's wrong." She said more austerely.
"Fine." I said exasperatedly "I'll ease up on the spoiling and the siding, now can I please come in I've been standing here all cold on your porch."
Sunny rolled her eyes and made way for me to come in as I hung my coat on their rack. She started to walk off as i followed her through the house.
"Where are mom and dad I didn't notice their car outside."
"They're not coming."
"Why not."
"Mom's really sick she has to stay in bed for like a week. Not to mention it's snowed like crazy back home."
"Stickler Bay? It hasn't snowed there since 1942."
"Yeh well there's been a shift in the weather."
I nodded as we walked past the dining room to the kitchen where she resumed to cut up carrots and celery. I looked at her snacks and realised it was all vegetables and fruit. I made a face as I took a carrot stick and started to munch, leaning on the bench behind me.
"Honestly Sunny what sort of five year olds are you catering for? The type that's on a diet like you?"
She gave me a pointed look before answering and continued to cut. "Its healthy I don't want my boys to be part of the seventy odd percentage of children who grow up overweight. You know America has the highest percentage of people overweight…" She stopped cutting and pointed the knife at me as she spoke. "I will not subject my children to be part of that statistic."
I laughed as she put the cut up apples in a container. "You sister dear worry too much, you don't need to worry. If anything he'll probably be underweight. He's got our genes, you remember us in high school we were so skinny people thought we were anorexic."
"But Lizzie I'm just taking precautions. I mean the statistics say…"
I rolled my eyes and interrupted. "Screw statistics and make the kids some fairy bread." Then as an afterthought I added. "With an unhealthy dose of sprinkles."
She looked up at me brow quirked up and started to cut some more carrots.
"If you don't do it I'll do it, give the kids a break. I mean seriously I'm threatening to whip up some s'mores if you don't at least give them some dip."
"I do have some."
"What?" I questioned skeptically.
She put her knife down and went to the pantry coming out with low fat peanut butter and placing it in front of me.
"Sunny, like I said they're not under the guidance of Jenny Craig give them whipped cream or something."
"We have nothing unhealthy in this house."
"You are seriously depriving the poor children."
"Anyway I kept trying to call you last night but I kept getting your machine."
"Yeh I know I got your messages but I came home late."
"Really? And why were you out so late last night?" She looked up stopping her chopping waggling her eyebrows.
"It's not what you're thinking last night was definitely one for the books."
"Care to tell?"
"How much time do you have?"
"That bad?"
"I think the word is excruciating."
"I'm all ears."
"Well-"
The doorbell interrupted us and Sunny put her knife down and wiped her hands to answer it, before going out of the kitchen she turned to me. "Later, we're talking later."
I nodded and took another carrot stick to munch on before walking out and being ran up to by a very excited birthday boy pulling my arm.
"C'mon Auntie Lizzie we have to play dad's put it together let's play, let's play."
I smiled. "Of course." And he dragged me to the sitting room where the Playstation was out.
Nathan sat down at the console as Steve came up to me.
"Regardless of what the wife says thanks for his sake… and my sake too I know I'll be enjoying it as well." He grinned impishly. "Final Fantasy here I come… maybe for Brandon's birthday you could get Time Crisis with the gun or Need for Speed with the steering wheel."
"You are such a kid."
"You bet I am I'm only twenty four, you on the other hand are older than me."
"By two years."
"Yeh, yeh grandma."
"Please go get me my walker so I can make my way to your son and play with him."
I walked away as he went to the backyard to hang up some streamers and balloons.
I sat down next to Nathan and we played until his guests arrived, those from pre-school and his cousins from Steve's side.
I was walking out to the backyard when I realised I had walked right under the ladder Steve used to put the streamers and balloons up…
I was hoping that the gods didn't get wind of this.
Being at Nathan's party stirred up the maternal side of me watching the kids run around and generally being kids. I started again, to mull over not settling down sooner. Nathan was in the process of blowing his cake and it made me so teary eyed to realise that five years had passed so quickly, furthermore I even spotted Brandon running around with his chief headdress on and red war paint that Steve painted on his face, dancing around an imaginary fire Steve set up for him. It hit me so hard that I realised I wanted this. Watching Sunny, Steve, Nathan and Brandon posing for a photo over the cake. It became a dawning of realisation.
I definitely wanted this.
It was ten o clock when I was helping Steve and Sunny put the house back in order, Nathan and Brandon had been put to bed.
It was ten thirty after we had finished that Steve said he was going to retire because he had an early shift at the station.
Sunny and I settled down onto their couch in the sitting room, her with some coffee and me with a beer. I looked around and saw how cozy and homey it was with family pictures and the kids' artwork, it was a stark contrast to the modern, sleek and "fashionable" apartment I lived in. It wasn't the same it didn't have the home quality that Sunny had, mine was just a place I lived in.
"Do you ever regret having Nathan so young? I asked.
She looked at me carefully before answering probably trying to decipher my intent. "Well, I was nineteen. I still managed to finish college some how. And sometimes I wish I could've traveled or lived a little more I wish a lot of things… but to be honest even with all these wishes I don't think I'd ever regret having Nathan."
I nodded as she asked me. "What's brought this on?"
"I don't know, the party, watching Nathan and Brandon in that chief headdress today…" I sighed. "I think I regret not settling down. You have the life, the husband, the kids, the mortgage… writing romance novels." I sighed again. Sunny was in fact a very successful romance novelist for Harlequin under the penname "Cassandra Hart", which I told her sounded like a name for one of her heroines when she was starting out. She had replied that she had to get into the vibe.
"But you're so successful you have it made, not to mention pretty well off living in your spiffy city apartment. I'd say I wouldn't mind trading for one day oh and that wardrobe you have."
"No Sunny you have it made, I'd trade... I'd so trade."
"Are you unhappy?" She asked concerned.
"No not unhappy maybe discontent… maybe mom was right maybe I'll die an old maid. I mean it's not like I've met anyone."
"Don't say that you're only twenty seven that's still very young. Anyway you've just never given the time to try meet anyone."
"Anyway I've seriously been having doubts as to whether it may actually happen I mean I've been going over myself and I don't have a very big list of finer qualities."
"Don't do this to yourself any guy would be lucky to have you."
"Sure if they don't mind someone who's being the biggest klutz lately, or someone who doesn’t think before they speak not to mention having bad luck following them around everywhere."
She looked at me intently. "What do you mean?"
"Sunny, you would not believe what happened last night."
"Oh that's right you're meant to tell me a little story."
"Exactly and every time I think about it I get goosebumps… you know the bad kind as in the kind you get when you remember walking in on your parents in a certain stage of undress… without the blankets."
She laughed. "Are you still scarred?"
"Obviously."
"But go on, start from the start. Every dirty detail."
"Well last night I went out with Anna, James and a friend of his."
"Yes."
"Guess who the friend was."
"Who."
"No… guess." I said more firmly.
"I dunno just tell me it's too late to think."
I sighed closing my eyes as I leant my head back on the sofa. "Gucci."
"Really… and was it worse than all the other times you've told me about?"
"On par probably… though my distress was prolonged."
"Well then go on tell me the story."
"Well the calamities started as soon as I got out of the elevator."
"Don't exaggerate."
"No literally as soon as I got out of the elevator."
Needless to say I was beyond shock when I saw Gucci standing there beguilingly and I felt the slow rise of apprehension course through my body. I looked to Anna who was already out and I realised that I had been standing there staring as they watched me expectantly. Anna's face was plastered with apology, I tried to overcome this and took a step forward, then another…
It was going pretty well but then the Gucci radar suddenly detected his presence that when I went to take another step I realised I couldn't.
I tried to take the step again still with no luck.
When I looked down to my foot I saw that my heel had dislodged itself in the tiny crack between the elevator and the lobby floor.
This was going to be a long night.
I struggled to get it out again and I kept pulling at my leg. I had ridden this elevator thousands of times and just when I thought I had mastered the art of walking, my heel decides to get stuck in a crack that was so tiny the odds of being in a position I was currently in was two thousand to one. I kept pulling, the trio realised that I was in a bind and Anna and James came over to me to try get it out.
Still no luck. Gucci however, was on the side watching and his face didn't know whether it should've been concerned or amused.
So James, Anna and I kept trying to pull my leg and to my horror the elevator doors looked like they were about to shut.
So we pulled even more desperately.
The elevator doors were starting to threaten my mortality as they edged closer and closer as we pulled and pulled. Just when we finally pried my heel out its suddenness threw us off guard though more me, as I fell back thumping heavily on the tiled floor my attaché case went flying out of my hand through the air to connect bulls eye with Gucci's face.
It was as if I had seen it in slow motion the changes in his facial expression as it came hurdling towards him, the impact and the aftermath.
Surprise, shock, registering the case was about to hit him. The hit, anger, anguish then as he opened his eyes and looked to me annoyance and…
Disdain… I was still on that page with him.
James and Anna were torn as to which individual they were going to attend to. Me on the floor or Gucci standing clutching his face.
So they split up Anna running up to me and helping me up.
"Are you okay? That was quite a fall El."
I stood up dusting myself off. "Yes, yes I am."
James and Gucci, who held my case and was passing it to me, approached me.
"I believe this is yours Ms. Bennet."
I took it from him and looked at him nodding mutely. C'mon speak, apologize, it's not that hard say something along the lines of sorry for hitting that beautiful face of yours.
Hang on did I just say sorry… I mean, did I just call his face beautiful?
They were all looking at me Gucci's brow arched, he was giving me the look, the "problems" look. The one he used when he thought I wasn't all there. The one time where I was actually supposed to say something I didn't yet on other occasions when I wasn't suppose to say something out loud, I did. I didn't know how long I stood there staring at him, c'mon girl speak… say something… anything, just something, anything, anything, anything, anything, anything, anything, anything, anything…
"Anything."
I did it again.
"Excuse me."
James and Anna had this look as if they would be rolling around on the floor at any time now riddled with laughter if they weren't wearing their expensive work clothes.
"That is to say… I'll do ANYTHING to make it up… to… you… for… hitting you with my… case… ANYTHING… whatsoever."
That was lame, that was very lame, not a very good save at all.
He gave me the "problems" look again as James and Anna turned around, I could see James' shoulders shaking and Anna hit him on the arm before her shoulders started to shake as well.
"I'm, I'm sorry... I really am for hitting you, where is it that I hit you?"
Then to his and my shock before I knew what my hand was doing I brought it to his forehead where I saw a slight bruise forming and started to stroke it gently.
Too late.
I realised what I was doing and pulled my hand back violently. Needless to say he was probably horrified that I was touching him.
"I'm so sorry sir, Mr. Radcliffe, I'm… I'm just…"
I really wanted the earth to open up and suck me in at this moment.
He was giving me this incredulous look as I struggled to say something close to coherent to get out of this awkward moment. Anna seeing my position decided to save me.
"Uh let's go it's already six and we want to beat the evening rush."
"Yeh," James added "the sushi bar gets really packed Friday nights."
I nodded and started to walk away feeling Gucci's "problems" look as I turned.
"He didn't say anything?" Sunny asked.
"No just gave me that "problems" look like I wasn't all there."
"Then what happened."
"Well I walked into my next embarrassment."
"Lizzie…"
"No literally I walked into my next embarrassment."
I was walking with more larger and quicker strides than Anna and the guys, anything to get out of the building. I needed the fresh air to collect myself. Breathe in and out… inhale than exhale… I came closer and closer to the automatic doors knowing I was going to get some air and the prospect calmed me to a degree. I must've been walking too fast or been too small but…
SMACK!
I walked right in to the glass doors. I didn't turn around to see their reactions, instead I walked back then forward again but the doors still didn't open. I tried this for some time until I realised that James and Gucci were now on the other side of the doors looking at me through the glass, Anna soon joined them as James pointed to his right and I realised an open door at the very end of the glass wall. I walked over there trying not to get too red and joined them on the other side.
"Didn't you know they shut off the automatic doors at five thirty." James said grinning.
"No but thanks for telling me… now." I said giving him a pointed look.
"No problem." He grinned as he put his arms around my shoulder and walked me to the sidewalk where Gucci and Anna stood.
"Oh dear." Sunny said behind her coffee mug as she tried to suppress her
laughter.
"No you can laugh."
And she did.
The sushi bar was just down the block of the Radcliffe building and so we left our cars in the company garage. The walk was silent as the four of us walked in leisurely. I was sinking in my own thoughts and decided that the gods were still punishing me, they probably just thought me an easy target. No use praying to Allah, God, Buddha or Vishnu… though I had at that point determined it was Zeus who was behind all this.
I had been so deep in thought I realised that Anna and James had started to talk animatedly, they were walking in the middle of Gucci and me. It wasn't only me however, keeping to themselves as I snuck a glance at Gucci using my peripheral vision (I had good peripheral vision too due to my obsession with my profile in my pre-teen years I would stand on my side to the mirror and try to check out what my profile looked like from the corner of my eye.)
No doubt I knew what Gucci was thinking, how exactly did he get stuck spending Friday night with someone as uncompromising as I. It wasn't like I could explain myself, would he really believe that the gods were punishing me for eating extra Christmas pudding? No. I knew what women he was probably into, the tall, slender, sophisticated kind that pronounced all their vowels and tried to speak with a hybrid British/American accent. Anyway what did I care as I realised that he made no move to help me out when I had fallen, nor told me that the automatic doors weren't working considering he owned the building not to mention he always looked and spoke down to me.
So deep in thought was I that I nearly got run over when I continued walking not realising that my company had stopped at the curb only being saved by Anna's cry for my name and being pulled out of the way by James.
We had arrived at the sushi bar.
"Well I'm glad you didn’t get run over, I didn't realise how inattentive you could be." Sunny said. "Do you want an extra piece of cake?"
I was about to give an affirmative when I remembered the repercussions an extra piece of another desert was doing to me. "No."
She went off and came back with a piece on a plate from Nathan's chocolate birthday cake. As she settled on the couch she gestured for me to go.
By the time we were eating a sushi boat that we shared amongst each other in the middle of the table, I had resigned to the fact that there was nothing I could do to reestablish myself as a normal and stable human being in the eyes not just of Gucci, but also to my friends and myself.
For the most part of the dinner I sat in silence though it was more meditative, thoughtful silence as I was at one with my situation, I was content no matter how bad things were and I recalled the inspirational speaker giving a seminar at Radcliffe that personnel had organised…
I was a rock.
Just then James said something funny and I started to laugh… very hard. So hard in fact that I snorted. Not a cute, little piglet snort. But more like the old overgrown hairy pig sort of snort... the kind of pig that was so old and hairy it was ready for the abattoirs.
"Wow Lizzie that was bad."
"Oh I'm not finished."
She gave me a sympathetic look.
Reminding myself I was a rock I tried to settle down not before snorting another two times. I had in actuality that night, been observing Gucci subtly and realised that he didn't speak at all except when spoken to and even then it was monosyllabic. He was aloof the whole night and sat in his chair as if he owned the place (which I later found out that he did in fact hold the lease to the space the sushi bar was using, his family actually owned the whole block that the Radcliffe building was situated on). Not to mention he kept looking at me as if I had something wrong with me, it was that "problems" look, as if, as if he felt sorry for me. Well no one ever feels sorry for me, especially not high and mighty William Radcliffe CEO of Radcliffe Publishing… I decided I really didn't like him not just because of his character but I still couldn't shake off his comments on that first day.
The more time wore on the more I realised he would give me looks though not smiling and as if he was having some sort of internal conflict and I decided that there must've been something caught in my teeth or something. But then again it was quite difficult for him not to be looking at me considering he was adjacent from me. When I turned to Anna she started gesturing to her mouth and her teeth. I was having a hard time trying to decipher her sign language as I sat there not comprehending though I wish I did because after awhile Gucci actually spoke to me.
"Ms. Bennet you have some seaweed caught between your teeth."
"You poor soul… I will never call you melodramatic ever again."
"Oh but Sunny," I said in anguish "there's more."
I had fully gotten over the seaweed discomfiture that when it was nearly time for us to go I decided I needed to go to the toilet to change… I was rejoicing to the fact that it would be my last day for my period and so I excused myself.
"I just need to go to the ladies room, I won't be long excuse me."
The three nodded and I got up before I was about to turn away however Anna said loudly… as in practically screamed the people at the tables surrounding us looked over.
"Wait Elizabeth let me come with you!"
I looked down at her peculiarly and before I knew it I was being pushed quickly by Anna behind me holding my attaché to my bum as we power walked to the ladies room. When we had gotten inside I turned to her.
"What was that little outburst and walking like you just heard Barney's was having a sale, did you really need to pee so badly?"
"Look in the mirror."
I turned to the mirror behind me and I saw what it was… I had leaked.
"Oh Anna will the gods not loosen up already."
"Oh El what are we going to do you can't walk back to the building like that."
I nodded. "Let me just change and we'll discuss."
After I had changed I decided that from now on tampons were no longer for just jogging, working out and swimming. I would be using it all the time to prevent this from happening again…
And it was a white suit too… my favourite white suit… my favourite white Dolce and Gabbana pantsuit!
When I got out I relayed my plan of action. "I'll just walk behind you guys carrying my case behind me."
"So you're going to walk down the street with your hands behind your back."
"Well there's nothing else we can do, it's not that odd lots of people do it."
"I guess, it is eleven o clock so I don't think much people will see."
So we walked out with me holding my case behind my back all the way to the garage cursing myself for leaving my coat in Dexter. When I was safely inside Dexter I closed my eyes and settled my head back on my headrest oblivious to everything in the world at that moment and thinking about the events of the night.
Eventually I started to laugh.
"It was a joke trying to get back to the garage with me walking with my hands behind my back, I started to get a cramp… no doubt Gucci thinks I have even more problems than he believes I already have, plus it was so embarrassing dropping my suit off at the drycleaners this morning." I said putting my empty beer bottle on the coffee table.
"Wow what an evening, definitely more interesting than listening to Nathan telling me his birthday present wish list."
I smiled as she continued. "What did you do when you got back home?"
"I saw your messages but decided that it was too late to talk, so after getting into my favourite flannel pyjamas I watched Letterman and consoled myself by eating a tub of Baskins and Robbins cookie dough."
"Something to tell the grandkids."
I snorted. "If I ever get any… at this rate I think we better focus on the husband part… actually even just the boyfriend part… or actually an interested party part. Do you think I'm cursed?"
"What do you mean, this isn't the whole gods Christmas pudding thing is it?"
"Well… then there's the Gucci radar but I'm afraid of the coming week."
"Why's that."
"I walked under Steve's ladder outside."
She laughed. "Melodramatic!"
"I thought you were never going to call me that ever again."
"Well stop being superstitious and wallowing in self pity about your life and go find a man... make it happen!"
"Please spare me the Dr. Phil pep talk. Anyways that's easy for you to say you've already got a good 'ol life and a man."
"Steve, a man?"
I grinned. "He's a good guy."
"He is, I'm very lucky aren't I?" She said a twinkle of mischief in her eye a smile pulling at the corner of her mouth.
I threw a pillow her way and a second later I felt one at my head… three minutes later saw us running around her house giggling and screaming childishly having a pillow fight. Forgetting about everything, using all my energy into running after Sunny, hitting and laughing, rather than using it worrying about the coming week, Gucci and Steve's ladder.