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Chapter 45

Posted on Monday, 6 October 2003

Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy had spent just over a week apart in the throes that ensue from a relationship tinged with regret, failure, uncertainty and fading hope. He had nothing to make him think she wished to see more of him. She had faded from the delightful companion of Pemberley into a quiet, unassuming lady with more blushes than smiles. He was losing his zeal and he began to spend too much time thinking of her without any hope of her being his and when this sadness overtook him he found he was not far removed from the man he had been prior to his return to Netherfield. He then thrust himself into a round of concentration and plans for their future together. He refused to even consider visiting Pemberley again without her.

The lady was also losing hope. He had sped to London on business or so it was reported and for at least ten days. Considering he had only arrived from London a few days previously, it seemed that his business might have been designed to permit an easy absence from the district. And in this mood Elizabeth had to contend with the extreme happiness of her dearest friend and sister.

Elizabeth accompanied Jane and Mr. Bingley on countless walks, always finding some way of deviating from their path. And when Mr. Bingley was absent, she filled in for him with Jane, talking of the upcoming marriage and when she was busy, he turned to Elizabeth for reassurance. All in all, her time was taken up. Mr. Bingley occasionally mentioned his friend but only in passing as his mind was continually on Jane. Twice Elizabeth tried to bring up the subject of Mr. Darcy herself but it was to no avail. It seemed that a man in love has no thoughts of other men.

In town, Mr. Darcy was kept occupied by various aspects of his estate and his trade in wool. He worked long days and sometimes into the night, endeavouring to conclude it all as quickly as possible. He yearned to return to Netherfield to see his friend but mostly to see her. He hoped that his absence had been as definitive for her as it had been for him. He simply no longer wished to be without her. He needed her beside him in all things.

The journey that Saturday morning had been harsh for Lady Catherine. She travelled seldom and the inconvenience of stopping at her townhouse overnight brought added nuisance. Having no knowledge of Mr. Darcy's presence in town, she arrived at her address and settled in for an early night and an early departure for Hertfordshire. She managed to spend the time harassing the servants, complaining of the smell in town and blaming them for it and all in all proving to be a demanding and impossible employer. The staff had been given no notice of her arrival and that too seemed to be their fault. Thankfully she ate alone in her room and was joyously farewelled at eight o'clock the next morning.

By eleven o'clock her carriage was pulling into Netherfield and within ten minutes Lady Catherine was demanding to see her nephew. The housekeeper greeted her at the main door where she was informed that Mr. Darcy had returned to town. Why this caused the great Lady Catherine de Bourgh so much angst was not known but it was spoken of in the kitchen for some hours as they contemplated the reasons she might wish to speak to him so urgently. Upon hearing of his absence and her misfortune in not knowing this prior to leaving town herself, she thought the best and only way to settle this immediately was to speak to Miss Elizabeth Bennet. In fact if the particulars were true, speaking to her would prove easier than speaking to her nephew for such a girl from the country would quite easily obey her commands.

Elizabeth had begun to enjoy her solitude and sat a little away from the others, avoiding conversation and involved in her own thoughts. And so it was in this mood that she was working with her mother, Jane and Kitty one morning about a week after Jane's engagement. Mr. Bingley was also there, preventing Jane accomplishing anything other than a whispered conversation and much smiling when the rumble of a largish sounding carriage with at least four horses suddenly disturbed the quiet of the morning. Kitty pursued her usual stance of window watcher, informing them all that it was a carriage she could not recognise. Unwilling to participate in visiting, Mr. Bingley soon procured Jane for a walk outside while the others were forced to endure an unexpected visitor.

The surprise of such a visit was mandatory but Elizabeth's astonishment outdid them all when the visitor was proclaimed to be Lady Catherine de Bourgh. Elizabeth was completely confused and overcome by the visit. From what she knew of the lady, she travelled seldom and never to such districts as this. The only connection that Elizabeth could comprehend was Mr. Darcy but surely he had not spoken to his aunt on any matter regarding her family. The lady entered with a rush, perused the occupants of the room and condescendingly suggested that the older woman was Elizabeth's mother. On assurance that she was, she suggested that the other must be one of her many sisters. Mrs. Bennet was by now able to speak and confirmed Lady Catherine's comment. Lady Catherine then managed to opine on the park, the house, the situation of the dining room in which she stood as well as a somewhat polite reply to Mrs. Bennet's question on Mr. and Mrs. Collins.

All the while Elizabeth watched her with trepidation. She was not about to be brow beaten by her superiority but she knew instinctively that the visit was of some major importance to them all. Lady Catherine declined any offer of hospitality from Mrs. Bennet and instead almost demanded that Elizabeth accompany her outside for a private conversation. Running for her parasol gave Elizabeth time to conjecture on her motives but nothing of sense came to mind. Instead she resolved to leave the talking to the lady.

They walked side by side to the distant copse and upon entering the gate Lady Catherine wasted no time in pouncing on Elizabeth with the reason for her visit. It seemed that she had news that Elizabeth was about to join in the happiness of her sister by an engagement to Mr. Darcy.

Elizabeth was completely shocked. She had thought of various reasons for the visit but not this one. Had he spoken to his aunt before speaking to her? No, she knew that of him. But how would this reach Rosings? She was still conjecturing on this while Lady Catherine demanded it be denied. Seeing nothing but her disdain, Elizabeth refused to play her game and turned it back on her ladyship by suggesting that there was nothing to deny if Lady Catherine thought it all untrue.

On this, the lady began to boil. No one spoke to her in such a way, let alone a simple country girl with no connections or fortune. Elizabeth could see the lady's consternation and was exactly in the mood to enhance it by stating that her very visit was enough to confirm the attachment. She then delighted in seeing her ladyship become even more infuriated. She asked Elizabeth if she had spread the rumour, of which Elizabeth denied. On hearing this she demanded that her further questions be answered and Elizabeth quite determinedly refused to agree.

Lady Catherine was now losing control of the situation so she resorted to listing a variety of methods that Elizabeth might have used to secure her nephew. Listening to this did nothing but bring the best and worst of Elizabeth's wit to the fore and she replied by stating categorically that if she had used devious methods to secure him then she would hardly be likely to admit it. For Lady Catherine this was a new experience and she resorted to proclamations on her own status hoping that a reminder would be enough to subdue Elizabeth.

On the contrary it only enraged her more and she made it clear that nothing would coerce her to disclose her private business. Hopeless of winning a battle of words, Lady Catherine chose to finish it by making her own declaration that Anne was already the fiancée of Mr. Darcy. Elizabeth had a huge inner smile on hearing such desperate measures and retorted with the obvious comment that if it was so then why was the lady so angry about another connection. Stumbling to cover her statements put the great lady at a most serious disadvantage and it seemed did nothing to curb Elizabeth's determination to at least leave her wondering. No matter what reasons Lady Catherine brought forth, Elizabeth brushed them aside with bravado she had never felt before. It was almost as if she was defending Mr. Darcy himself from the machinations of his aunt.

Lady Catherine continued unabated with predictions of the consequences of her marrying Mr. Darcy but nothing she said was a surprise to Elizabeth or of any great cost when she considered how very much she loved him. The lady refused to see the impossibility of preventing an attachment by forbidding it and Elizabeth was now so determined to thwart her ladyship at every turn that nothing short of news of his already being married was going to stop her wanting it. As there was nothing left but to denigrate the girl and her family, Lady Catherine began a bitter and nasty précis of Elizabeth's background and lack of connections. This was particularly hurtful to Elizabeth as it had always been a subject not far from her own mind. However she had gained enough courage over the last few weeks to determine that if Mr. Darcy now thought it nothing then nothing it should be.

Her ladyship was now running out of options and decided to go straight to the question at hand. Was Elizabeth engaged to Mr. Darcy? Of course no lady in Elizabeth's position would really want to answer this truthfully but she could not lie on such a point and so reluctantly stated that she was not. Lady Catherine's gloat was obvious but she decided to compound it by securing a promise that it would never be so. Of course this was one thing that Elizabeth would not answer in her ladyship's favour, as her greatest wish in the world was that it be true.

Elizabeth was beginning to wane. Her anger and determination to thwart this discussion were slowly fading and she may have softened her replies somewhat until Lady Catherine began her final assault with a bitter comment on Lydia and Mr. Wickham and the hurt it would do to her nephew to be related to such people. Elizabeth was deeply affected, the wound too raw to heal yet, but instead of shrinking away as her ladyship hoped, it brought Elizabeth a new strength of purpose and she told Lady Catherine that she was insulted and refused to speak any further to her.

She turned to the house and began to walk quickly away as Lady Catherine chased after her, raising her voice in consternation and name-calling. She finished with a simple question, asking if Elizabeth would do anything to have Mr. Darcy. Elizabeth quieted at this. She loved him too much to show anything other than regard for his own wishes and she told his aunt that. If he wished her then she would be his and the world would no doubt be sensible of their joy. Lady Catherine had now boiled over and her ranting words as she made her way to the carriage were no more than insults. She refused to bid a proper farewell to Elizabeth or any of her family and entered her carriage with a sour look of scorn. Elizabeth turned into the house not waiting to see the carriage depart. Her mother captured her immediately but Elizabeth had only to say that the lady had gone. Her mother presumed their conversation had been about Mrs. Collins and Elizabeth had no choice but to nod agreement for to broach any topic that was actually discussed was impossible.

Closing the door to her room brought a flood of tears to Elizabeth. She lay on her bed and wept quiet sobs. Despite her strength of purpose in front of the lady, her hopes for happiness had now taken a grave turn. There was no doubt that he would be more greatly influenced by his aunt than Elizabeth could ever be and although the lady seemed desperate, much of her reasoning could be considered worthy from his point of view. For almost three hours she stayed in her room, refusing lunch and languishing alone until tea. Through this period, she resolved to be strong under any circumstances and thus decided that if news soon arrived that he was unable to return to Netherfield, she would have the strength to bear it. All in all, the day had been so peculiar that she was left in a dreamlike state unable to think clearly on anything.

Lady Catherine left Longbourn in a state of extreme aggravation. What had begun as a simple journey to ensure the news she had heard would never come to pass had turned into a complete failure, at least with the lady in question. She had always thought her to be a country upstart but her actions in this took her into a new realm of vulgarity in her ladyship's eyes. She knew that she had to do everything in her power to ensure her nephew never saw her again as she had no doubt that Miss Elizabeth Bennet would do anything in her power to secure him.

Mr. Darcy had now spent over a week concentrating on business and estate, only having his late evenings free to think of Elizabeth. She floated through his mind all day but never was able to linger enough to plan or to improve his hopes. It was now Sunday and he had the afternoon set aside for some rest and time to plan his return later in the week. He had retreated to his rear west sitting room with nothing more than a good book when there began a great level of disturbance at the main door. He looked up, hoping to hear who had arrived when a servant hurriedly entered and announced Lady Catherine.

Mr. Darcy stood instinctively and bowed upon her entrance.

'Aunt, what are you doing in town? I had no idea you would venture forth this early in the season,' said Mr. Darcy.

'Sit down, Darcy, I will speak to you,' demanded Lady Catherine.

'Madam, you are here on business?'

'Serious business that cannot be delayed. I have just come from Longbourn.'

Mr. Darcy stopped dead, his mind racing with the possible reasons for his aunt to visit Longbourn.

'Did you hear me? I have seen Elizabeth Bennet!'

Mr. Darcy was now quite concerned. There seemed no possible favourable reasons for his aunt to make such a journey. However he felt it necessary to allow her to set the mood of the conversation.

'Did you have news of Mrs. Collins, aunt?'

'Darcy, I will have none of your games. You know very well the reason for my visit. What have you to say?'

'Regarding what, aunt?'

'Hah, I am glad it is all a falsehood. I knew the lady was exaggerating your attachment.'

Mr. Darcy's worst suspicions were forming.

'My attachment? What attachment would that be?'

'Mr. Collins received word from his family that Elizabeth Bennet was engaged to you, sir! Imagine! To think that you would make an offer to a girl with no fortune, no connections when you are already committed to Anne.'

'Lady Catherine, perhaps you should explain. I am quite lost as to your sources.'

'I told you Darcy, Mr. Collins informed me of the falsehood.'

'Mr. Collins informed you that I was engaged to Miss Bennet?'

'Yes.'

'Might I ask why you thought this news worthy of a journey to Longbourn to see the lady?'

'Well obviously to ensure it was untrue. I called at Netherfield but you were here. You should have sent word you were in town, Darcy. However, I proceeded to her father's park, very small indeed, and asked the girl herself.'

'You met with Miss Bennet and questioned her on this subject?'

'It was my duty. Such girls cannot be trusted Darcy. They have ways you know, ways to secure what they want. It cannot be borne.'

Mr. Darcy's breathing rate had doubled. His face was flushed and he was sweating in his coat. He turned to his aunt in anger.

'Am I to believe that you confronted Miss Bennet with this news and demanded that she deny it?'

'I did indeed. I must say she was quite the miss. I have never been spoken to in such a manner in my life. She took no preference for my position. She refused to consider the reasons that this could never be and proved herself as unsuitable as I suspected when I first met her.'

'You argued then?'

'I did not. The girl however showed no manners. She refused to answer my questions and would suffer no understanding of the implications of spreading such rumours.'

'Aunt, I must insist that you inform me in more detail of the tone of your discussion with Miss Bennet.'

'What does it matter if the rumour is untrue?'

Mr. Darcy took a deep breath, clenching his fists as he spoke.

'I insist aunt!'

'Very well Darcy but I see no point in it. I informed her of what I had heard and asked her to deny it. She refused to answer in any way. She even told me that if I thought it impossible, then why had I come to question her on it. Of course I could not stand for such impertinence and I told her that her position was what made the whole idea ridiculous.'

Suddenly Mr. Darcy was back at Hunsford, hearing his own words to Elizabeth that fateful night in April. Listening to his aunt was tantamount to listening to himself. To think that Elizabeth had to endure a second bout of censure from his family was unbearable.

'Did she reply?'

'Darcy, I have never heard such insolence in my life. She refused to consider her position was in any a detriment and insisted that if you thought nothing of it then why should she. To consider that it would not affect you! She was impertinent beyond words. When I confronted her outright with the question of the engagement she did at last deny it was so but refused to agree to it ever happening. Of course, knowing of her manner to me makes...'

'Pardon me aunt. Did you say she refused to deny any connection to me in the future?' he said as his heart pounded within his chest.

'She did indeed. Insolent girl. She seemed to consider it would be possible. I have always wondered at the upbringing of that family. All out before the eldest is married! Of course she was taken aback when I reminded her of the particulars of her youngest sister's marriage to Wickham. Dastardly man. Impossible connection. I had pleasure in reminding her that you could never be related to such a scoundrel.'

It was almost too much for Mr. Darcy to take in. To think that his Elizabeth had been subjected to the worst possible censure by his own aunt after seeing the personal suffering she had already endured over this. He found it hard to retain any sense of decorum or manners where his aunt was concerned but he would not lower himself again. Elizabeth demanded more of him than that and thus he sighed and recovered himself before speaking again.

'I think you have said enough, aunt. I cannot sit here and listen to your condescension. Miss Bennet is indeed a fine lady of remarkable intellect and excellent manners. She has done nothing to warrant your words or your censure and I will not allow it to be repeated in my home.'

'May I remind you sir, that I am your mother's sister and that your mother and I arranged your engagement to my daughter?'

'You may remind me of anything you wish aunt. However I am free to acknowledge or deny any of it. I have never felt an attachment to Anne other than as a dear cousin. I will always be fond of her but I will never marry her. My intentions regarding a mistress for Pemberley remain my own business and I will not be persuaded, coerced or ordered to take any course that is counter to my interests or desires. I am quite willing to offer you tea, aunt, but further discussion regarding your misgivings of Miss Bennet will not take place under this roof.'

'I will have my way in this!' she retorted.

'As it appears that your demands are not to be met by myself or Miss Bennet, I might suggest that you change your ways!'

'I will not stand for this Fitzwilliam. The family must be secured!'

'And secured it will be, as and when I see fit. Now aunt I think it impossible for us to endure even tea so I suggest you return to your own abode and leave me in the peace of mine.'

He leaned toward her to assist her to stand. She refused his arm and stood alone before him.

'Are you saying that you intend to marry Elizabeth Bennet?'

'I am saying that my choice of bride remains mine to make but suffice to say that nothing you have said to myself or Miss Bennet will persuade me to take any course of action contrary to my own happiness which I consider the only criterion requisite for my future. Now can I assist you to your carriage, madam?'

'You cannot. I have no desire to be in your presence until you once again feel the obligation of your family and fortune. Your parents would never permit such words to escape your mouth, sir. Be sure that any action on your part contrary to the betterment of Pemberley and the family will be considered a breach insurmountable. You will be cut off from all your relations and will gain no acceptance in the great houses of England.'

'If the great houses of England are so pompous as to refuse entry to a man who chooses his wife according to affection then they will soon crumble in the dissipation of unallayed pretension.'

'I will leave you to consider my words, Darcy. I have no doubt that some contemplation will see their wisdom,' said Lady Catherine as she marched to the door. It was swung open by the servant and she was heard mumbling through the hallway as she walked to the entry. Mr. Darcy did not follow her, sure that to do so might shatter his resolve to remain the gentleman at all times. He sat immediately that she had left and it was a full five minutes before he felt his breathing was back to normal and he could think coherently of Elizabeth.

She had refused to consider his aunt's words. She had even argued against them. Slowly his spirits rose, each minute bringing further excitement and hope. She had not withdrawn from such a discussion. He knew what she was capable of, yet she had not backed down. In fact she had left his aunt sure that a connection could still take place. At that moment of realisation, his hopes reached their ultimate height and he was desperate to be with her, speak to her.

At Longbourn, Elizabeth had begun to doubt herself. She should not have spoken so brazenly to his aunt. It could do nothing but add to the doubts he might have. She had misused her words and her mind in a manner unlikely to bring happiness to herself. She reluctantly faced her family over the tea where they happily discussed the honour of a visit from Lady Catherine de Bourgh. In fact her mother was preparing to visit Lady Lucas in the morning to inform her of it.

The night was spent by Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth in ways similar. He longed to be with her and she longed for him. However her doubts seemed essential even though they were too often outweighed by the depth of emotion that had grown between them over the last months. The visit of Lady Catherine to each had brought a similar response but unfortunately it had also brought a countless number of questions. All either knew was that it had brought increased hope.

The following morning, Mr. Darcy set about completion of his business with such determination that his steward found himself running to keep up with his master's pace. Mr. Darcy was resolved to be back in Hertfordshire within the next few days.

Elizabeth rose at her usual hour and was walking from the breakfast room when her father called her to his library. She entered and closed the door and noticed that he was holding a letter. She shivered slightly, wondering if it was from Lady Catherine as she would not put it past the lady to appeal to her father for support to forbid a relationship with Mr. Darcy. Mr. Bennet sat by the fireplace and requested her to do so as well. The somewhat formal tone he took began to frighten her.

He began by stating his surprise at receiving this letter and especially at hearing that she was also engaged. Immediately Elizabeth thought of Mr. Darcy. Surely he would not write to her father before her but perhaps he thought it the proper thing to do. Her face became flushed and her father thought it because it was all rumour and was delighted to tell her that the letter was from Mr. Collins.

Elizabeth, knowing nothing of any correspondence between Lady Lucas and Charlotte on this matter, was quite at a loss to understand why Mr. Collins would write to her father on the matter. Her father soon explained that Mr. Collins had felt it auspicious to offer congratulations to the family as soon as he had word of the impending engagement to his benefactor's nephew. Mr. Bennet took great delight in his words and her supposed surprise to find her attachment to the man she had professed she would never even dance with. For Elizabeth nothing could be worse. Here was her father ridiculing the idea which she held so dear and she knew that most of his misguided humour was a result of her determination to find Mr. Darcy impossible.

She remained quiet while he read the remainder of the letter to her including Mr. Collins insensitive remarks about Lydia's marriage and acceptance back in the family. One thing of great joy to Elizabeth was news that Charlotte was with child, as she knew that it was something very dear to her friend. However her father's concentration was only on the bizarre idea of her possible engagement to Mr. Darcy and he persisted in returning to it with biting wit. He even correctly surmised that Lady Catherine's visit had no doubt been to discount it all. In all this Elizabeth was mortified when he mentioned Mr. Darcy's pointed indifference to her throughout his time at Netherfield. She knew that this opinion had come from her own observations to the family early on and now she was forced to endure the punishment of her own unbridled wit.

She left the library in a new state of despair, thinking perhaps that her thoughts of a happy outcome were also coming from what she wanted rather than what was actually happening. Perhaps he was indifferent now and perhaps she did wish too much for him to feel otherwise.

Mr. Darcy completed all he could by the following Tuesday and was ready to leave for Netherfield on Wednesday. He arrived around noon to find Mr. Bingley absent. On enquiry he found that the morning had been spent at Longbourn but he had then gone to the saddler to inspect the progress of the equipment. Mr. Darcy had no wish to proceed to Longbourn without hearing the latest news from there so was forced to spend the afternoon in frustrated pacing as he listened for the sound of the curricle. Mr. Bingley arrived just after tea to the sight of Mr. Darcy watching out the window in the direction that Elizabeth often walked.

'Darcy!'

'Oh Bingley, you are back. Tell me, what news do you have of Longbourn?'

'You did get my letter?'

'Of course. And congratulations my friend. Tell me is the lady as happy as you?'

'She is! It was all so simple in the end. I did not rush though, Darcy. You would be proud of me. I took the time to observe her, talk to her and it was the next day that I made my offer.'

'You waited one whole day. My goodness, Bingley, you are a changed man,' said Mr. Darcy with a smile. 'But Charles, tell, how is Miss Elizabeth?'

'She is in remarkable spirits although a touch quieter than I have seen her. She is very happy for her sister.'

'It has been her dearest wish, Charles. You have a great ally in her.'

'I do indeed. Now what of yourself? Is your business concluded? Have you come to any decisions?'

'My business is done and my decisions have never altered. I have only to speak to the lady. When do you visit again?'

'Friday. The ladies are...'

'Friday! I expected you to be dining there nightly. But surely tomorrow we could visit.'

'The ladies are required at the dressmaker. It seems wedding clothes are the subject for tomorrow. I have arranged to visit early on Friday.'

'Bingley, you are telling me the truth? I will not be teased, sir,' said Mr. Darcy seriously.

'I would not punish you, Fitzwilliam. Mrs. Bennet is determined to begin her plans.'

'I swear that woman is determined to thwart my plans!'

'Fitzwilliam, be calm. Miss Elizabeth will be too busy for you until Friday.'

'You do tease me, Charles.'

'It is the truth. Her mother has her book filled with projects. Friday will be ours alone. The ladies have no other obligations that day. She will be yours all day. Now lets be to tea. I am hungry and you look in need of refreshment. I will occupy you tomorrow with a long shoot and a round of billiards on our return. I have need to beat you again,' said Mr. Bingley with a smile.

Mr. Darcy humphed through the evening but found the following day a welcome respite from business. It did him good to get some exercise and perhaps it would help him sleep. He had found his nights were back to those at Rosings when nothing would secure good rest. Elizabeth was also tired after a day of listening to her mother's demands on fabrics and trims. There were many days of this to come however and she kept quiet allowing Jane to deal with the confusion of tastes. She found herself more than happy to retire early knowing that the following day was all for herself.

Mr. Darcy retired late after winning one game of billiards. Perhaps it was his new level of impending happiness that brought success. Either way it pleased him to find his game improving. He pondered the strange way a mind works, allowing concentration on the trivial when there were much more crucial things to consider. He had never doubted his own deep love but he had only seen her twice since his return and each time she seemed unable to be herself. Perhaps this was how it was meant to be. Perhaps they needed to see each other in this new light before a commitment could be secured. He only hoped that her newfound reserve was not as a result of his remarks in April about his previous impressions of her. He only wanted her to be herself and in wishing so, he failed to see that she would always be different now that she loved him and that he had never been the same since that same moment of realisation in himself.

Their nights were spent like all lovers on the brink of acquiescence, lost in a whirl of romance and distracted by intense yearning. It was simply impossible to rest properly when one's life was at the brink of change. Elizabeth knew that his failure to return to the district would secure an alteration of immense consequences in her life. She would have to learn to live without him and on that score she found herself quite unsure. It seemed she had reached that stage of attachment where his presence in her life was natural and anything less would ruin it forever. The man had only one resolve-to secure her. He rehearsed his words again and again, changing the subtlety of them to avoid any hint of his previous lexis. To make a second offer was difficult enough but when a gentleman has almost destroyed the connection at his first attempt, he must take great pains to ensure the second is perfect. And so like all men before him and all to follow, he turned to the poets and the passages of romantic novels in a futile attempt to improve on his own simple declaration of love.

Chapter 46

Posted on Sunday, 12 October 2003

The expectations of Mr. Darcy increased more and more as the night wore on. By morning he had reached such a level of resolve that Mr. Bingley found himself calming him. Breakfast was a rushed affair as Mr. Darcy attempted to hurry his friend.

'What time will you be ready, Bingley?'

'It was suggested I arrive around ten,' replied Mr. Bingley.

'Oh.'

'Oh, what?'

'You did say early, yesterday,' said Mr. Darcy.

'Ten is early. The ladies have to eat then dress.'

'Miss Elizabeth often walks before breakfast.'

'Then she will be back by ten,' answered Mr. Bingley.

'True. I shall return to my rooms then. Until ten,' said Mr. Darcy as he strode from the room. He paced his dressing room for some minutes, checking his attire, studying his face. After fifteen minutes of increasing insecurity he moved to his bedroom and took the window for a view of the park. He could just see the trees lining the perimeter that grew beside the lane leading to Longbourn.

Elizabeth had risen a little later than usual but had managed to take breakfast on time and be dressed at a sensible hour. She hoped to take a solitary walk later in the day but had determined to keep the morning free to walk with Jane and Mr. Bingley as he was due to call at ten o'clock. She had found it ideal to accompany them, ostensibly as chaperone but really to allow them time to themselves by wandering off in a slightly different direction to their preferred one or merely lingering longer than was necessary behind them. She had put on her best walking boots in preparation for his visit.

Mr. Darcy was already mounted when Mr. Bingley arrived at the stables. He smiled to himself as he saw his friend's anxiety.

'It is only half past nine, Darcy. And we usually meet at the main entrance.'

'I am aware of the time, Bingley. However the rain may have made the journey slower.'

'It has not rained here for two days.'

'Bingley, mount!' demanded Mr. Darcy. 'A few minutes early will not matter.'

Mr. Bingley took the saddle and the two gentlemen began a somewhat slow trot towards the gate.

'So you are determined I see,' said Mr. Bingley.

'I am indeed. Nothing will prevent me having some time with her today. I might ask though, Bingley, if you would assist me in my wishes.'

'In what way, Darcy?'

'I think that it is necessary to walk this morning. I thought you might suggest it.'

'If the weather is suitable, Miss Bennet and I always take the garden.'

'I would prefer more distance than the garden, Bingley. Perhaps we could walk the lanes.'

'Then you would like me to suggest that Miss Elizabeth accompany us?'

'Yes, that would be ideal. You said that she is usually happy to be out with you.'

'She is indeed. Then it is settled. I will suggest a walk with the ladies,' said Mr. Bingley, quite happy to have Jane to himself as well. He looked across at Mr. Darcy who was smiling. 'I wish you every success, Darcy.'

'Thank you Bingley. I think I may need all the help I can get. Shall we pick up our speed?' replied Mr. Darcy already urging his horse forward.

Elizabeth had taken up her work and with much determination. She had been some weeks on this particular piece and would be happy to have it completed. Jane was also working on a small needlepoint while Mary practised her fingering on the small desk in the corner and Kitty fiddled with some threads instead of actually stitching. Mrs. Bennet was content to chatter as she worked on her newest fire screen that was secured on a large floor-standing frame. The entrance of the servant was no surprise although the time was early as Mr. Bingley had a habit of arriving prematurely. However when the second gentleman was announced, Elizabeth dropped her needle and sucked in her breath. She had no idea that Mr. Darcy had returned to Netherfield.

They all stood as the gentlemen entered and Elizabeth could not help but look at Mr. Darcy immediately, catching his eye and instantly lowering her face as it blushed bright pink.

'Mr. Bingley. Oh and Mr. Darcy. How good of you to call Mr. Bingley and almost on time,' began Mrs. Bennet.

'Good morning Mrs. Bennet, Miss Bennet, Miss Elizabeth, Miss Mary, Miss Katherine. Mr. Darcy has returned from town and was anxious to visit with you all again.'

'Good morning Mrs. Bennet, ladies,' said Mr. Darcy.

'Good morning Mr. Darcy,' replied Mrs. Bennet switching her eyes momentarily to him in nothing more than a tertiary glance.

Elizabeth watched all this with annoyance then suddenly remembered that her mother might feel it prudent to mention the visit of Lady Catherine de Bourgh. Not knowing if the lady had seen her nephew and if she had, not wishing to remind him of anything that might have been said, Elizabeth cringed in fear of her mother's next words. However Mr. Bingley addressed Jane first.

'Miss Bennet, I thought that we might all walk the lanes this morning. The weather is so fine and it would be a wonderful chance to be outside before it changes,' said Mr. Bingley.

Mr. Darcy gave him a quick glance of delight before Jane answered.

'I am sure we would all be most happy to walk with you, Mr. Bingley,' said Jane. 'Mama has said that the weather seems clear.'

A second glance was necessary between Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley, in the fear that all the ladies would accompany them. Elizabeth also look concerned as her resolve was no less than Mr. Darcy's. They both were determined to have some decision today. Fortunately Mr. Bingley came to the fore quickly.

'I am not sure you would wish to extend yourself so early, Mrs. Bennet. And I know that Miss Mary is always too busy, Perhaps Miss Kitty would wish to remain with you,' he said hurriedly.

'Oh no, I want to come,' said Kitty much to the instant annoyance of Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy. 'I will get my bonnet.'

She ran off upstairs while Mr. Darcy turned to the window. His hopes were set on this morning and now he had to endure the company of Elizabeth's younger sister. Elizabeth and Jane excused themselves and went upstairs to gather their own things. Ten minutes later the party of five was departing Longbourn. Mr. Darcy stepped forward beside Elizabeth and Kitty skipped up next to them.

'I must walk with you, Lizzy. Jane wants to be alone with Mr. Bingley,' said Kitty giggling.

Elizabeth had hardly said a word since his arrival and this comment still brought no more than a soft sigh. He heard it though and his heart leapt with delight. At least she wanted to be with him. They began a rather brisk pace to the gate leaving Jane and Mr. Bingley strolling slowly behind. Kitty maintained the pace set by Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth and even managed to move between them along the lane. Mr. Darcy remained completely silent, filling his thoughts with nothing but his need for Elizabeth. His resolve was so strong that he set about thinking of ways to rid them of Kitty using deceit if necessary.

Elizabeth seemed quite content in his eyes, walking quickly, looking about her and admiring the last of the foliage. However she was far from concentrating on the trees. Her mind was reeling with the need to be alone with him. One way or another she could not continue without knowledge of his feelings and she was sure that once they had their privacy, it would be possible to quickly assess what were his desires, one way or another. His very return had brought renewed hope that things would be right if only she could find the way to show him her own feelings were changed.

Kitty maintained her position next to Elizabeth, almost consciously shielding her from any closeness to Mr. Darcy. Their direction took them on the path to Lucas Lodge and when Kitty announced her desire to see Mariah Lucas, it was welcomed with a deep sigh from Mr. Darcy and a slight lift of the corners of her mouth from Elizabeth.

'You will come with me, won't you Lizzy? Lady Lucas must have word from Charlotte.'

'I would much rather walk this morning, Kitty. Please wish her good morning and say that I will call at another time,' replied Elizabeth, glancing past Kitty to Mr. Darcy who seemed to have a concerned interest in the fencing beside the lane. His heart began beating loudly as he heard her desire to be with him.

'Very well. I will run home later,' said Kitty, skipping through the gate to Lucas Lodge.

Elizabeth glanced behind her, wondering where Jane and Mr. Bingley were but could only see them at some distance behind, hardly moving in fact and far too busy smiling and talking to notice their friends. Mr. Darcy was taking it all in, conscious of every movement of Elizabeth. He continued on down the lane, slowing his pace slightly, hoping to enable her to feel more at ease. They both altered their direction somewhat, moving very gradually closer to each other and closing the gap left by Kitty's departure. Elizabeth daringly looked up at him and suddenly felt an overwhelming courage. She must begin and tell him that she knows what he has done for her family.

She began with an apology for any breach of privacy that he may require upon such acts, claiming that she simply had to ease her own conscience on the matter, and continued on to thank him for all he had done to secure Lydia. To say that he was surprised is underestimating the depth of his emotion. He was simply shocked that she should know it all. His voice shook slightly as he expressed his astonishment that Mrs. Gardiner had been so indiscreet. On that Elizabeth quickly assured him that the initial word had come from Lydia and knowing that, she herself had sought the rest. She expressed her extreme gratitude to him on behalf of all her family for his generosity and fortitude in dealing with a situation that she knew was as unpleasant as any he could endure.

As her words penetrated his soul, he forgot anything he may have practised or resolved to say and simply told her that it had been only for her, that he thought of nothing or no one other than her. Elizabeth, of course, could only comprehend that he still loved her and that that was the dearest thing in the world to her. She had no possibility of replying until such thoughts had cleared her mind and she was able to hide her embarrassment at such a forthright statement. However she was only just beginning to recover when he continued and without thought of anything other than her answer, he told her only what she needed to hear. He still loved her, he had always loved her and his only hope was that her feelings had changed since his previous offer in April.

His voice lowered slightly at the end, not wishing to pressure her, prepared, it seemed, for a second rejection. He felt his shoulders lower as he exhaled and he looked away not wishing to see her refusal.

Elizabeth too was unable to encounter him. She blushed more deeply than ever in her life. In the space and sound of his few words, her life had been transformed and she could not allow him to have any doubt of her. She looked down at the small stones on the lane as she replied.

'Oh ... Mr. Darcy, I ... oh you must know that I cannot ... I do not feel the same way. Please know that I cannot. I ... I cannot think what to say other than to assure you that nothing I felt back then still resides within me. My opinion of you has changed so much that I hardly know what to say ... I ... please do not think of my words back then. I no longer ... your words make me feel ... I cannot thank you enough for your constancy in the face of my cruel and hurtful reply.'

She paused trying to find the ability to tell him more clearly but he needed no further proof of the alteration of her feelings. His eyes widened and his skin glowed with the slight tinge of perspiration brought on from the swelling of emotion. He raised himself, standing tall and looked further away and then back, missing her look as she too took the chance to recover herself. He had never before experienced such an uplifting of spirits. He turned back to her, wishing to tell her what he felt.

'Please do not thank me for my constancy. I have never desired your thanks, only your love. My admiration for you is ... has always been ... I tried so hard to live without you but it proved impossible. I had no thoughts other than you. When I am not in your presence I am empty, devoid of feeling. You are the essence of my being...I realised some months back that it would be difficult to go on without you.'

Elizabeth was now completely unable to catch his eye. She never expected such an outpouring of emotion. She concentrated on the stones, listening, feeling and loving. His words were of such intensity that she found herself lost for reply. Their feelings were now so extreme that nothing could distract them from the need to reassure the other. Mr. Darcy continued his stare for some seconds and then raised his head to the sky and continued as they walked, still side by side, not touching but both within the boundaries of each other, feeling the nearness, warmth and scent of the other.

'I cannot forgive myself for my treatment of you last April. It was so wrong to express my feelings without regard for yours. You must now allow me to tell you once again how very much I admire and love you. I am nothing without you. You are ... my feelings for you are...you must excuse my hesitation but I am overcome by your change. There is no one in the world more valuable to me than you.'

Elizabeth could think of nothing clearly as her heart leapt at each of his expressions of affection. She wished dearly to look in his eyes but at this time it was still impossible as her emotions might leave her unable to control herself as she felt her eyes begin to fill with happiness. He paused to take breath and she took that opportunity to reply, still not catching his eye.

'Mr. Darcy, it is I who must say what I feel. My feelings have undergone such a change that I find it impossible to think of ... to be so important to you. I could not have hoped you would ever make a second offer. I had almost given up hope of ever seeing you again.'

'And so had I. Until my aunt told me of her visit. Let me apologise for her now. I cannot imagine your mortification in hearing such words from her. She had no business to interfere or express any opinions that were not hers. I cannot forgive myself for allowing it to happen. How you must have hated my family.'

'I could never hate all your family. Your aunt did ... I was surprised at her visit. However she did say that her intention was to see you, sir. I did wonder what would result if she did see you after meeting with me.'

She looked at him for the first time since he spoke and she saw that smile that had so often crossed his face on previous occasions and she knew now that it was only for her. He told her what hope his aunt's visit had given him and how Elizabeth's failure to deny an attachment was all he needed to renew his offer.

She smiled and assured him that he was correct in his assessment of her. She would never be able to lie to his aunt on such a matter after being so cruel with her words to his face. Of course a man in love could not allow her to continue to berate herself on that score and she in turn, loving him dearly, could not accept his words and together they smiled and took their equal blame for it all.

He paused his steps and turned to face her, taking both her hands in his, gently holding her gloved fingers between his own. He slightly bent his face down to hers and told her what good her words had done for him. How the mere thought of being ungentlemanly had overtaken him and caused him to rethink it all. She smiled up at him and fought once more for her share. Together they spoke back and forth, clearing their hearts of the torture of the previous months. He felt nothing but shame at his behaviour. She felt nothing but mortification at her words. He wished his letter had been more polite. She regretted that he was forced to write it.

And thus they stood like all lovers, lost in the need to find the other faultless, desirous of nothing but perfection in their lover. They exaggerated each other's attributes and reprimanded themselves for failures, all in a pointless desire to see no flaws in the other. Elizabeth felt it keenly as he concentrated on her censure of his manner. He blamed his parents, his background, his education and his connections for it all. And as he favoured her with all that he had now become he spoke her name for the first time to her, telling her how beautiful she was and how she alone had shown him his errors in assuming such a woman would want him.

She laughed softly, asking him if he had been that sure. On that count he took no hesitation in assuring her he did and she replied how much he must have hated her for it all that night. Of course he had never hated her and could never allow her to think so. He spoke only of momentary anger that soon took reason.

They stood hand in hand amazed at the way it was all now so easy with nothing to keep them from any topic. His smile took her to Pemberley and she could not resist enquiring if he was shocked to see her there and she thanked him for noticing her. On that he laughed as he told her that instantly he had needed to please her and show her that he still loved her.

'All I could think of was that I must prove worthy of your coming,' he said. 'You looked so lovely, so desirable. I could hardly control my feelings even on first sighting you. And when I realised that I could introduce you to Georgiana, my heart leapt. It had always been my dearest wish for you to meet. And she loved you so. Instantly! She spoke only of you. When I told her of your departure, she was extremely disappointed. Oh Elizabeth, what pain that brought me. I could not bear to see you so upset and because of such a man.'

'I thought my disclosure to you had ruined any hope we had. I was sure that nothing would allow you to associate with me after that,' replied Elizabeth.

'When you told me, I ... I was angry. Angry at myself for allowing it to happen and for my pride in it all. I resolved immediately to finish it, one way or another. I knew that I could find them. At least I hoped I could.'

Her eyes saddened as she looked at the pain that these thought brought to them both.

'I thought I would never see you again,' she said sadly.

'Oh, I never suspected my mood...I was quite resolved. I should have explained but it seemed impossible. I had no wish to involve you. It was mine alone. I wished to settle it for good. The man is quite...'

He looked in her eyes and saw the sadness and pain was still too much.

'I am so sorry Elizabeth,' he murmured.

'It is for me to thank you, sir. Without you we could not...'

He could stand it no more. He let her hands drop and gently placed his arms around her, stepping closer to enclose her against his chest. She slid within the arc of his body and rested her face on his heart. As she relaxed against him, he felt his heartbeat increase to levels that left him breathing fast and heating his body to extremes and for the first time in her life, she listened to the pounding, knowing that it would soon be a common occurrence. And they stood together, silent, melding together in their first embrace, his chin resting softly on the top of her head, her body gently enclosed within his.

She was the first to move, opening her eyes to the awareness of their place in the lane. As she stepped back, he lifted his head from the support of hers, his eyes opening to a blurry vision of the landscape. As his arms moved from her, she slid her left hand over his right and smiled up at him. He leaned toward her, wanting to brush her lips but unable to summon the courage.

Her intake of breath interrupted him and he stepped back securing her hand over his arm as he turned up the lane. Their steps began in unison, each smiling within. It was some fifty yards before she spoke.

'It is all quite surprising.'

'It is? What is so surprising, Elizabeth?'

'That, for one thing. The way you say my name.'

'I have said it so often, to myself.'

'As I have said yours, Fitzwilliam.'

He turned to her with a huge smile.

'I like your smile,' she said impulsively.

'I like everything of you.'

'I am sure you do not.'

'Are you tempting me to list your favours?' he asked.

'Oh no indeed. That must be saved for other times. For now I just wish to be with you.'

'And I with you, forever.' He paused and turned to her. 'Elizabeth, will you consent to be my wife?'

'Oh, I thought ... oh yes Fitzwilliam. It is my greatest desire to be your wife.'

He smiled down at her, tempted once more to kiss her. She watched as his lips moved slightly wishing also that propriety allowed it. They sighed in unison, entwining fingers in a move more sensual than any mere kiss. It was enough, and they continued their stroll with no direction in mind.

The lane had long ended and the path beyond had led them across a field, through the hedgerow and up an incline where they could see Netherfield.

'This is the way I came when I walked there,' said Elizabeth.

'It is so far. Will you like Pemberley?' he asked.

'Oh it is by far the most beautiful park. And the house. I could never be unhappy there.'

'I hope you will say that in ten years,' raising his eyebrows as he spoke.

'Forever I am sure,' she replied.

'Elizabeth, what will your father say? I hope he will not object,' said Mr. Darcy quite seriously.

'I think he may be surprised. Although there has been some talk.'

'There has? Tell me Elizabeth, who has begun such talk?'

'I think the same person who told your aunt. I have long suspected Lady Lucas of writing to Charlotte. Or perhaps Sir William was the one. He did send a letter to my father.'

'Sir William?'

'No, Mr. Collins. And I am sure his information came from Charlotte and the only way she would suspect such a thing is if it came from Lady Lucas.'

'But why would Lady Lucas suspect any attachment between us?' he asked.

'I suspect it was a natural assumption after your visits with Mr. Bingley. A district such as this can often jump to conclusions. One friend attached to one sister leaves the other friend obviously wanting the other sister,' she said laughingly.

'Oh my goodness. I shall have to be careful when I visit with Charles. I might find myself attached to the saddle maker's clerk.'

They both laughed at their silliness, enjoying the first raptures of companionship founded on love. They began their walk down the hill, arm in arm.

'I have many plans Elizabeth. I wish to show you the grounds in spring. They are quite the most beautiful. My mother was always happy to see the fruit trees begin to flower.'

'I so remember the marvelous array of fruit that was presented on our visit. Was that all grown at Pemberley?'

'Almost all of it. The hothouses are quite extensive also and thus we are able to grow peaches and plums and other fruit requiring a more temperate climate. Oh to have you with me at Pemberley. It has been my desire for months now. The walk was so short and you must see the entire park. It is probably best that we take the carriage, as I would not want to tire you. And there is the shearing. Of course if you find it too gruelling then you must tell me. I would not wish to tire you.'

She smiled up at him again, enjoying his rapturous enthusiasm. It seemed she was already seeing a new side of Mr. Darcy. He was speaking much faster than she had ever heard and she was reminded of his first greeting at Pemberley.

'I look forward to walking the whole perimeter of the park,' replied Elizabeth, unsure what else to say and conscious that any enthusiasm for Pemberley might seem somewhat premature.

'And I cannot wait to accompany you, Elizabeth.' He paused sweeping his head to take in the surrounds. 'I am still in wonder that you will have me.'

She was immediately embarrassed again. 'And it is no wonder after my unbridled words. You must teach me to curb my wit, Mr. Darcy...Fitzwilliam.'

'Is it hard for you to use my name?' he said with a hint of disappointment.

'Not at all. I am simply not in the habit of it. I do not mean to upset you.'

'Oh you could never do that. I must say that I find it quite...invigorating when you say it.'

She blushed, knowing full well his meaning. He watched her from the corner of his eye and felt a similar response. He placed his left hand over hers as it rested on his arm. At the feel of his slight squeeze, she raised her little finger slightly to catch his, the touch giving him more comfort than any words she could offer. They continued to wander along beside the lower paddock watching the few cattle still left outside a stable.

As they passed under a small grove of trees, Elizabeth shivered slightly.

'I think we must have walked for some time.'

She stopped and pulled out her watch as he did likewise.

'Oh my goodness we have been walking for almost two hours.' She turned around as she spoke looking for her sister and Mr. Bingley and wondering aloud where they could be.

'We must return to the house.' She turned their direction back to Longbourn, walking quickly. It was some distance before he spoke.

'I am very happy for Charles,' said Mr. Darcy.

Elizabeth could not help but ask if the engagement was a surprise to him. He told her quickly that he was sure it would take place when he left for town. She smiled knowingly and nodded, telling him that obviously he had already given his permission.

'Permission? You know that Charles does not need that from me,' he countered.

'I am sure he does not,' said Elizabeth, raising her eyebrows in doubt.

He responded with the details of his confession to his friend, telling her that it was one of the most difficult things he had ever done. He left nothing out, even telling her that he acknowledged his wrong doing in it all and was happy to see that he was wrong. She, of course, had to know if his change of opinion was his alone and he told her that he had come to his own conclusion during the two visits to Longbourn. She nodded in response, sure that Mr. Bingley only needed his assurance.

Mr. Darcy's response was serious as he told her how much Mr. Bingley relied on his observations. He did however admit to telling his friend that he knew Jane had been in town for three months and that he had concealed it, adding that Mr. Bingley's temper had been easily subdued once he realised that Jane loved him.

Elizabeth listened in silence, biting her lip to avoid any comment. It was exactly the kind of situation on which she found her wit at its best but one cannot tease a new lover, especially one whose sensitivity to such behaviour has proved their previous undoing. No she must learn now to curb her talent for wit as she had come to realise that wit can very easily become ridicule in the ears of others. He interrupted her thoughts with a question.

'Were you surprised at their engagement?'

'Oh no. As soon as I saw them together, I thought as you did. They are very much in love. I have never seen Mr. Bingley so happy.'

'And neither have I but he can never be as happy as I am. I am sure Miss Bennet is quite a delightful partner but she could never bring him the happiness and joy that you bring to me, Elizabeth. I am sure he will be content but I am exultant.'

'You continue to embarrass me, Fitzwilliam. And I see the lane to Longbourn.'

'Should I speak to your father on our return?'

'I think not. Could we keep to ourselves until tomorrow? I do not wish to delay your plans, sir, but I am selfish enough to wish for some time with you alone before my family becomes involved. I would also like to tell Jane.'

'And I would like to tell Bingley. I have listened for almost two days to his happiness and now it's time for him to listen to mine which I have no doubt is superior.'

They smiled at each other as they turned into the gate at Longbourn.

'The family awaits,' she said contemplatively. He sighed in recognition of her meaning and leaned close to her in a last attempt to inhale her before their parting.

'I love you, Elizabeth,' was all he whispered as they entered the main door.

Chapter 47

Posted on Sunday, 19 October 2003

His breath still lingered on her neck as she instinctively slipped her hand from his arm the moment they crossed the step. He quickly felt the loss as she risked a glimpse up at him and saw the passion of his words reflected in his eyes. His arm cooled without her touch and he rubbed it unconsciously. In silence she pulled off her gloves and then her bonnet as the servant helped her off with her coat. He then took Mr. Darcy's hat and coat and Elizabeth led him into the dining room where the family was about to be seated. Jane looked up, questioning Elizabeth as to their whereabouts, which was followed by similar queries from the others.

'I must apologise but the weather was so grand and...Mr. Darcy wished to see...'

He stood behind her, sensing her difficulty. 'You must excuse your sister. It was all my doing. I asked her to show me the path from here to Netherfield and I was unaware how far that would take us.'

'Well no matter now,' replied Mrs. Bennet. 'Lizzy take your seat. Mr. Darcy you are here near Kitty. Kitty move your chair a little. Mr. Darcy cannot fit in there. There are no quail today Mr. Darcy. However the fish is excellent. Mr. Bingley prefers the fish.'

Mr. Darcy took his seat which put him opposite his friend and diagonally opposite Elizabeth. Mr. Bingley looked up at his friend on hearing Mrs. Bennet's comments and the glance was returned by Mr. Darcy but with no reaction. The soup was handed round and as each began to sip, Mr. Bingley once again looked knowingly at Mr. Darcy. However the gentleman refused to give any response.

The soup was half finished before there was a first brief glance between Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth. It was momentary and brought no response from either and they both sank into a prolonged silence, hearing nothing of the table conversation and seeing nothing but the minutiae of each other's movements. He touched his chin often with his hand, almost hiding his mouth from view. She blinked as if her eye had some irritation but when spoken to, her eyebrows lifted automatically revealing her beautiful eyes. He withdrew again, restoring all the reserve that she had once censured. But now she understood him, knowing that he could never be outgoing in such company. She was about to sample the fish when her father addressed her.

'Elizabeth, pray tell us what is on your mind? It is rare to have a dinner with a silent Lizzy. Are you discontent?'

Her colour rose as her eyes passed over Mr. Darcy on the way to her father.

'Perhaps I am tired from such a long walk, father. I really am quite happy, I am sure.'

She looked back at her plate, suddenly aware that she had still not encompassed the full impact of Mr. Darcy's love. It was still too new to fully engulf her and although she was bursting with joy, it was deep within her and she was not ready to show it to the world. She looked across at him, his face solemn, his body still and quiet, his eyes turned to his glass, and she smiled. What a pair! Perhaps it is the result of such a long and torturous connection that has brought on such behaviour.

Although Mr. Darcy was studying the tableware, his mind was far away, at Pemberley, feeling her with him in the house, knowing she was there on his return from his daily business. The thoughts brought him such joy but it too was deep within him, unseen by all. He ate with deliberation but not tasting anything that entered his mouth. His heart was too full for other sensations and the whole process of the meal was habitual. He heard Mr. Bingley talk happily to Jane and he heard her joyous responses and he knew that this was not for he and Elizabeth. He knew that neither of them would behave as his friend because the passion of their union was too intense for release in such a way. He was still scrutinising his glass when Mr. Bennet addressed him.

'Mr. Darcy, what business was it that took you to town for so long? You had only just arrived when you left. It must have been perilously important to drag you away from us so soon.'

Mr. Darcy looked up the table to his host, sensing the hint of ridicule in his tone.

'Actually it was indeed perilous, sir. A ship on which I had a cargo of woollen fleece was lost and there was much to settle regarding the loss of men and goods.'

'I am sorry if my words offended you then, Mr. Darcy. I suspected you ran from the district to preserve your good sense. We can be a frivolous lot.'

'No indeed, sir. I very much enjoy your company and that of your family. I meant no disrespect in leaving so soon.' He turned back to his plate, hoping that the topic was ended. However Mrs. Bennet felt compelled to have her word.

'We have been very busy with plans for the wedding, you see Mr. Darcy. Mr. Bingley and Jane wish to be married as soon as possible and we have yet to finalise the wedding clothes.'

He felt Elizabeth's movement in her chair and a change in her breathing pattern as her mother spoke and he chose no reply. However Mrs. Bennet continued.

'Mr. Darcy, I have forgotten to mention that your aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, called on our Lizzy some days ago. What a surprise for all of us, I must say. We heard the coach you see, and we all went to the window and there she was, the great lady herself. She came into the house as well, you know. And she spoke of the situation of the rooms. I am sure she was quite impressed. I was telling Mrs. Phillips of it only yesterday. And then she asked to speak to Lizzy alone, in the copse. Such manners I have never seen. I was quite overtaken myself. She spoke to Lizzy for some time. In fact I was sure they would both catch cold as the days do not allow for outside conversation in the afternoon anymore. She did not have time to offer her regard before leaving. She had to hurry to town apparently. But in all it was quite an event and it is still being spoken of in Meryton.' She looked to him for a suitable response but before he could speak, Elizabeth began.

'I am sure Mr. Darcy knows all of the visit, Mama. As he was in town at the time, I am sure his aunt called on him.' She quickly caught his eye for a moment before looking away.

'She did indeed and told me of it all,' he said quietly.

Elizabeth refused to look up, anxious that any further response would encourage her mother to continue. Mr. Darcy was also well within himself, not encountering any eyes and content to leave well enough alone.

'I was here at the time actually, Darcy. However I had no idea it was your aunt or I would have paid my respects. I have to admit that I took the opportunity to take a walk with Miss Bennet and avoid the visit. I hope you will forgive me,' said Mr. Bingley.

'Of course, Bingley. I would have chosen a similar response,' replied Mr. Darcy, showing no hint of discomfort in his words although Elizabeth was sure that his eyes revealed a different picture. All in all he had slid back into his mask of reserve, saying little, observing it all and spending far too much time watching her, although she felt it impossible to look back. As Jane and Mr. Bingley continued to chatter, she began to imagine what would be said when news of her own engagement was announced. It seemed that only Jane was pleasant to him. Her father behaved as if the man deserved ridicule, her mother was simply mortifying and Kitty and Mary found him unfriendly. She could not help but wish that he would give of himself to them, showing his smile and even relaxing but then as she wished for this, she became annoyed at herself for wishing him one bit different from the man she loved. For she did truly love him complete with every aspect of his character.

Mr. Darcy was only aware of his bliss. She loved him and surely there was little else a man could want. Although she was different, lacking the spark of their first encounters. However he had no doubt that she would resort to his Elizabeth as time went on. These feelings between them were so powerful and so new that it would be impossible for her to be as she was. They were both changed forever by this day.

Dessert was a rhubarb fool with extra custard served separately. By this time Elizabeth had recovered some of herself and after pouring some into her own dish, she offered the small jug to Mr. Darcy across the table, avoiding Mary who should have been next.

'Elizabeth, I want some custard,' said Mary irritated.

'But we should serve our guests first Mary. Be patient. Mr. Darcy, would you like some extra custard?' Her eyes lit up in their full glory as she raised the jug to him and he looked at her with a bare hint of devilish delight, so subtle that only she would see it. She looked down and back in a flash, ensuring him that she had seen it. He poured the custard carefully and handed the jug across to Mary who took it with a discontented sigh. Dessert was a quick affair and within a quarter of an hour Mrs. Bennet hustled the girls from the room leaving the gentlemen to talk.

While Mr. Bennet poured the brandy, Mr. Bingley walked around to his friend.

'Well, Darcy, have you news? Do you wish for me to leave you and Mr. Bennet alone?' he whispered expectantly.

Mr. Darcy looked up at him. 'There is no need, Bingley. Enjoy your brandy. We will talk later,' he replied showing no hint of a resolution either way. Mr. Bingley retook his seat with a puzzled expression that Mr. Darcy failed to acknowledge.

'Ah, gentlemen, time for some sensible talk. Mr. Darcy, tell me more of this ship,' said Mr. Bennet as he handed round the brandy.

'There is little more to be said. It is lost, complete with full complement. There is talk of pirates but they rarely scuttle the ship, preferring instead to take control of it. The weather in the Channel was severe but it was the Bay of Biscay, notorious for gales that was its undoing. She was seen from the coast and had almost secured the passage south when she foundered. Nasty business.'

'Indeed. And tell me Charles, how are you standing up to my wife and her wedding plans for you and Jane?' said Mr. Bennet.

'I find the whole thing rather pleasing, sir,' laughed Mr. Bingley.

'I find the whole thing rather trying. Mrs. Bennet is having the time of her life though, I am sure. And at my expense. She has no end to her needs. I hope you have a less enthusiastic future mother in law, Mr. Darcy, when you choose a wife.'

Mr. Darcy looked up at Mr. Bennet, not knowing how it was possible to formulate a reply to such a statement without jeopardising his cause in some way. His slightly panicked look at Mr. Bingley brought a change of subject.

'Mr. Bennet, did you ever solve the problem of the lowlands on your back paddock? Mr. Darcy has been delving into similar problems of water tables in Derbyshire.'

'Have you sir? Indeed you may be of some help. Although I am sure a gentleman of your vast fortune and estate rarely treads the path of soggy ground.'

'I do try to involve myself in all aspects of Pemberley, Mr. Bennet. It is my major focus at all times,' replied Mr. Darcy.

'As it must be for all gentlemen without a wife. You are lucky sir, to have your time as your own. Bingley will learn soon enough. A man's library is his haven. I brook no talk of weddings in there.'

'I hope that it will soon all be settled, sir,' said Mr. Bingley. 'Miss Bennet and I are most anxious to finalise our plans.'

'As well you should be, sir. For my sake at least. Gentlemen if you are ready, I think we should join the ladies.'

They stood and followed Mr. Bennet to the sitting room where the ladies were just pouring coffee and tea. As usual, Elizabeth was in charge of the coffee pot. This time Mr. Darcy approached her immediately.

'Miss Bennet, it seems you are often required to pour coffee,' he said with the merest hint of humour. She looked up at him as she offered him a cup.

'Oh yes sir. It is my regular task. Although I much prefer it when I have time to speak to my guests rather than be tied to the table all night, surrounded by ladies.'

'Oh indeed, Miss Bennet, indeed. I am sure your guests prefer it that way themselves,' he said smiling.

'Lizzy, keep pouring. Mr. Bingley wants coffee too,' said Mrs. Bennet from her chair. 'Do not bother Mr. Darcy with your chatter. Let him drink his coffee before it gets cold. A gentleman cannot abide cold coffee, I am sure.'

'The coffee is perfect, madam,' said Mr. Darcy in response. 'I have rarely tasted finer.'

Mrs. Bennet puffed up with his words, looking about her family with a distinct air of achievement. Mr. Darcy took a chair quite close to the serving table and although he appeared to the room to be simply enjoying his coffee, his mind was absorbed by the sight of the woman he loved, as she bent over the coffee set. It was a scene of such domesticity that a man so much in love could not be distracted from it. Her every movement spoke of their life together. He sat contented thinking no further than the act of making her his wife.

The peace of the evening was disrupted by Mrs. Bennet securing Mr. Bingley for a round of engagements necessary for any man about to marry her prettiest daughter. There were dinners, evening parties and various visits to be concluded during the weeks leading up to the wedding. Mr. Darcy began to concentrate on all she was saying and he gradually sank into a deeper depression than he would have thought possible earlier in the day. Would he also be required to attend to her arrangements or would Elizabeth's family continue to treat him as the unfortunate friend of the affable Mr. Bingley?

Elizabeth also heard the long list of plans her mother was stating and she also began to fear the announcement of her engagement. She could not bear to see him pained and tortured by the fuss of her family. She looked across at him and catching her eye, he saw the difficulty she was suffering. He knew then that he could bear anything for her and he smiled back, a glint of acceptance hidden behind his eyes. She could not help but return his look, an action noticed by her father.

'It seems you are amused at last, Lizzy. You must let the rest of the room share your pleasure,' said Mr. Bennet.

'I am only pleased by seeing how happy Jane is, Papa,' she replied, looking across at her sister and Mr. Bingley. The couple had heard none of it as they sat close and cared for no one but each other.

'Your turn will come, Lizzy,' said Mr. Bennet. 'No doubt a gentleman of exceptional humour will come one day to Meryton and sweep you off your feet.'

She looked fondly at her father. 'I am sure you are right, sir,' she said as she lowered her eyes to the floor in front of her. From the corner of her eye, she saw Mr. Darcy move in his seat, brushing his hand down his leg in a gesture of fastidiousness. Her lips drew up in a quiet smile of contentment.

There was no opportunity for Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth to speak alone for the next half an hour until it was time for the gentlemen to leave.

'Darcy, I think we should leave the ladies for this evening. They will be glad we are gone I am sure,' said Mr. Bingley.

'We will think no such thing, Mr. Bingley,' replied Mrs. Bennet. 'I hope you will call again tomorrow, sir.'

'It would be an honour, ma'am. Good evening Mr. Bennet. Good evening Miss Bennet, ladies,' said Mr. Bingley upon standing. He bowed to the room just as Mr. Darcy stood also.

'Good evening Mr. Bennet, ladies.' He turned towards Elizabeth and bowed only at her. She stood along with Jane and both ladies followed the gentlemen outside to the porch where the servant was holding the horses. Mr. Bingley and Jane moved to the shadow of the arbour for their farewell leaving Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy alone on the step. He looked at her with such yearning that she could only think of being nearer to him. She moved close enough for his arm to brush hers, their fingers linking for the briefest caress. She leaned her head close to his chest and felt his breath on her neck.

'Good night Elizabeth,' he breathed.

Not raising her eyes from the stone, she murmured, 'I love you Fitzwilliam.'

He dare not pause and instead almost bolted to his mount, settling in the saddle before daring to look at her. His eyes told her exactly what her words meant to him and she looked down again blushing profusely. Mr. Bingley mounted and the two gentlemen turned for the gate, walking their horses slowly until they had gained the lane when the sound of their increased pace was heard for some minutes.

'Darcy! Wait for me. It is dangerous to ride so fast at night,' said Mr. Bingley.

'Nonsense, Bingley, let us get home for I have much to tell you,' called Mr. Darcy.

They both increased their pace further until their mounts were galloping for home.

Elizabeth turned to Jane. 'Come inside, I have much to tell you. Please come to my room.'

'Lizzy, what...you look quite different.'

'Please Jane, come!'

They hurried upstairs before their mother caught them for further discussion on the evening. Elizabeth sat on her bed while Jane took the chair. Elizabeth began simply.

'Jane, Mr. Darcy has asked me to marry him again and we are engaged.'

Jane was simply astounded. Having spent so long with her sister listening to the reasons why it would be an impossible match, she was suddenly struck with the certainty of it. She expressed all this to Elizabeth who, although not surprised at her sister's reaction, was disappointed to find it so. She assured Jane that her dislike of him had long since ceased and had always been misplaced anyway. Looking at her sister and seeing the joy in her eyes, Jane was forced to accept that it was so and immediately congratulated Elizabeth for her good fortune. However, they were sisters and just knowing is never enough. The reasons, the actual words, the finest of details are necessary to settle it and so Jane began her questioning. Elizabeth only wanted assurance that Jane would like him for a brother and being the dearest friend of Mr. Bingley, that was never in doubt.

Jane could not help but offer the normal reticence of an older sister but on hearing that, Elizabeth began to tease her by suggesting that Mr. Darcy was far better than Mr. Bingley. The girls began to giggle at their silliness and their happiness and it became louder when Elizabeth suggested that her love for Mr. Darcy had begun when she saw the size of his estate. Jane, however, was not distracted by her sister's humour and insisted on a serious reply and Elizabeth, anxious to eradicate any thoughts of his imperfections, began a natural exaggeration of when her feelings began to change.

'Oh Jane, it is so hard for me to say when it began. I realised when I read his letter that I had already begun to see that he was not what I had first thought. Seeing him with his family, with Lady Catherine and his cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam definitely altered my opinion. He was kinder, more willing to give of himself. But I must say that his honesty and his regard for my discretion were the turning points in my affection for him. And then when we met at Pemberley...oh Jane, he was the sweetest, most attentive host. He had no censure in his eyes and yet he had every reason to feel so and especially finding me on his lawn. Yet every look, every word he spoke was to please me. He thought of nothing and no one except me. It was impossible not to begin to love him then. And I do truly love him Jane. He is the dearest most passionate man I know. And he loves me!'

What sister could continue to show any hesitation after hearing such a confession, although Jane did feel the need to point out the secrecy that Elizabeth had pursued regarding their time together in Derbyshire. However from that moment Jane had only the best to say of him. She was sure that Mr. Bingley would be even more delighted and the girls spent a great part of the night discussing their plans together.

The servants were waiting at the main entrance with candles held high as Mr. Bingley and his friend dismounted. Mr. Bingley took Mr. Darcy's elbow and guided him to his library where he quickly closed the door.

'Enough, Darcy! Tell me how it went ... well if it went.'

'She has accepted me, Charles. We are engaged.'

'Congratulations, Fitzwilliam. I say, what a day! Did she need convincing? I am sure it could not have been easy to offer a second time.'

'It was the easiest thing in the world. She ... there were things that she wished to say to me and as she finished I...' he looked up at the ceiling.

'You proposed?'

'Yes, Charles. I ... I simply asked what were her feelings. And then it was done.'

'Miss Bennet and I had once dreamt of such a resolution but to see it come to pass!'

'It is quite surprising.'

'But why did you not speak to her father? I thought it must have been over when you refused time with him.'

'Both Elizabeth and I wished to tell our dearest friends first. And there was also the matter of ... of needing some time to ourselves before...well to be honest Bingley, the whole marriage process rather alarms me. It seems that Mrs. Bennet has taken over your life completely. I will not have it that way.'

'Then I will stand by and admire your fortitude with the lady. But perhaps you will do better than I for I fear she is still afraid of you Darcy.'

'Then I shall continue my stand and hope it remains.'

'We must have a toast, Darcy.' Mr. Bingley walked to the small table holding the decanters of liquor. Brandy or perhaps Muscat?'

'Muscat,' said Mr. Darcy as he sank into a rather large and comfortable wing chair in front of the fire. Mr. Bingley handed him the glass and took the other chair. For some minutes they sipped without speaking until suddenly Mr. Bingley remembered what they were there for.

'My goodness, we forgot the toast. To ... to the ladies of Longbourn.'

'To particular ladies of Longbourn,' corrected Mr. Darcy as he took a sip. 'What changes we are about to undergo. I hope we are up for it.'

'Having doubts already, Darcy?'

'No ... well ... no! Rather ... speculating.'

'On?'

'The process of marriage. I have had more years than you to regulate my life.'

'I am sure your life will only be improved by the company of Miss Elizabeth.'

'Oh I am sure it will also. I just wonder at my ability to adjust...I have many faults, Bingley.'

'As we all do. I am far too pliant in the hands of Miss Bennet.'

'I suggest you adjust such words if using them in public Bingley.'

Mr. Darcy looked across at his friend and they both laughed.

'Back to the topic at hand,' said Mr. Bingley.

'I think we have hit upon the topic at hand, Bingley. That part of marriage is naturally uppermost in our minds. We have both chosen our partners because of our affection for them and not necessarily because they will improve our status as is usual.'

'True, true. But we would not have it otherwise.'

'More than true. I had long since given up the thought of a suitable marriage. I have no need to endure the patient smiles of a bored wife whose only wish is to escape to society. What have your sisters said to your union?'

'They have been surprisingly subdued. I know they see their possible inheritances shrinking because of my marriage but they have ample to live comfortably and securely. Caroline will be distraught to hear of your offer, Darcy.'

'I am sure Miss Bingley is aware that I was never ... Charles, are you...were you also desirous of my offering for Miss Bingley?' said Mr. Darcy, suddenly aware that he may have offended his friend.

'Nonsense, Darcy. I must say that once, early in our acquaintance, the thought did occur to me. I think you would make a very suitable husband for Caroline but there is no love, no passion. At least nothing like that I have seen when you are with Miss Elizabeth.'

'We both have sisters Bingley and I think it is natural that at some point in our acquaintance the thought of either of us with our sisters would be considered. Georgiana has always been fond of you, you know.'

'Now that is where Caroline and Louisa would prefer my future to be.'

'I see it quite often in society, this intermarriage of siblings. Far too businesslike.'

'Exactly,' said Mr. Bingley.

'They are very unalike.'

'Caroline and Miss Darcy?'

'Elizabeth and Miss Bennet,' answered Mr. Darcy. 'Miss Bennet will be a calming influence in your life, Charles.'

'And Miss Elizabeth will not be in yours? I am sure she will, in her own way.'

'You have seen us at our worst,' laughed Mr. Darcy. 'And our best. I do not think I have loved her more than when I encountered her at Pemberley.'

'Hmmm,' said Mr. Bingley, distracted also by his own thoughts. They sat for some quarter of an hour before Mr. Darcy stirred.

'I must get some rest, Charles. I have much to think on and we must be early at Longbourn. Good night.'

'Good night, Fitzwilliam. I am sure your dreams will be...never mind,' said Mr. Bingley laughing.

Mr. Darcy was soon on his bed, lying flat, his hands behind his head and tucked under the pillows. It was simply impossible to sleep when so many plans flitted through his mind. There was so much to show her and give her. Flashes of priceless objects passed before his eyes before he realised that first he must court her. They had had such little time to talk as he wished. He had barely told her all that he felt.

Elizabeth spent her night lying on her side, her legs curled and her hand grasping her pillow near her face. Only one thought rushed through her mind. She was engaged to Mr. Darcy! It was thrilling, exhilarating, shocking and fearful. But it was wonderful.

She floated off to sleep with the first practice of her new name on her lips, Elizabeth Darcy!

Mr. Darcy slithered into sleep somewhere in the middle of listening to her whisper on the step. He did not stir till almost eight o'clock the next morning.

Continued In Next Section