Behind the Scenes - Section X

    By locarol

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    Chapter 42

    Posted on Friday, 12 September 2003

    Mr. and Mrs. Wickham arrived at Longbourn in the early afternoon with Lydia filling the house with loud talk and excitement. She demanded congratulatory comments from each of her family and showed absolutely no change of character or remorse for any of her actions. If there was an excuse to be found it might have been her age, but for her husband no excuses were possible. Mr. Wickham was no better than his young wife, showing no remorse or even reserve concerning the circumstances of the union and he continued to attempt to charm both Elizabeth and her family. To say Elizabeth felt abhorrence is an understatement. She found it difficult to be in the same room with him. She ran from the reception room and hid herself away from the show until she heard them all move to the dining room. There she was obliged to re-appear and tolerate the performances of them all.

    Her mother had managed to struggle downstairs on first hearing of the impending marriage, and prior to knowing the arrangements for his commission in the north, spent her time speculating on what estate in the district they would lease or purchase. She began immediately to boast of the marital success of her youngest daughter, which brought increasing despair to the two oldest who were subjected to much frustrated sighing every time their mother looked at them. But while she was of no good to herself she was harmless to others and so they accepted what they could never change.

    Mrs. Bennet then began organising parties to introduce the new couple to all her friends and relatives and although Elizabeth disliked the reason for them, she did welcome the distraction of different guests as a relief from her dealings with the couple as well as her own thoughts.

    The day after the arrival of the newlyweds, Elizabeth was out walking with all of her sisters when Lydia began another detailed account of the wedding ceremony, as Elizabeth had been absent for the previous one. She had barely gone a few yards when she blurted out her displeasure at having only her relatives and Mr. Darcy present.

    Elizabeth was completely stunned. She could not think. How could he be there? What did he know of it? Her last contact with him had been that day at the inn at Lambton and he had left her with a stern look as if he was glad to escape. But this was all too much and also not enough. She must know more and with that in mind she left the party and returned to the house in order to make the post that afternoon. Only her aunt could give her all she needed of this. In writing, her mind swung to the obvious, that it was all for her, but to think so was to speculate on feelings far beyond her expectations. There must be another reason yet she could find none at all.

    Jane returned to the house soon after Elizabeth and although she had a great desire to quiz her sister about Mr. Darcy, she could not bring herself to breach her privacy. Elizabeth found a quiet corner and within half an hour had a post ready requesting all the information that he so much wanted to remain secret.

    At Cheapside, Mrs. Gardiner was quite surprised to receive Elizabeth's letter. Although she knew of the secrecy required by Mr. Darcy about his involvement, she at no time thought that had included her niece. Of all this she was sure Elizabeth was acquainted as the gentleman seemed quite sure of certain details that only she could have told him. Mr. Gardiner was also surprised as he too thought the whole of Mr. Darcy's actions were simply as a result of his connection with Elizabeth. Having seen the devotion that Mr. Darcy felt for her, Mrs. Gardiner thought it suitable to detail everything that had taken place in town. To deny Elizabeth that knowledge was to deny her the intensity of his love, for it could be for no other that he took such pains to settle this.

    After detailing all the doings of the week in a long and informative letter, Mrs. Gardiner turned to the man himself and took great pleasure in telling Elizabeth what a fine gentleman he was and how much they enjoyed his company. Feeling rather sure of herself she became a touch impertinent by speculating on Elizabeth's life at Pemberley and her own requirements for carriage around the estate.

    Elizabeth received the reply the following day and from the first word the light in her eyes began to improve. There was simply nothing for it but to smile with pleasure at reading what he had done. Her surprise in hearing it was great but not so great as she might have suspected of herself for she had reached that part of connection where she expected nothing less from him. Of course she also dwelt inwardly with mortification at being part of a family that caused him to take such action. However, she knew then who had paid all the money to make it happen. She knew who had dealt with the despicable Mr. Wickham and she knew who had actually secured her sister. And suddenly she saw him before her eyes and knew the pain he must have felt in all this and the reminders he must have had of his previous dealings with Mr. Wickham. Yet he had borne it all. He had stepped forward without regard for his own feelings or possible disclosure of his family's secret to secure it all. He had been exalted in her mind and she naturally felt him even more heroic than he himself felt on beginning all this.

    She had seen how often he withdrew from society in even the simplest cases, merely because his reserve and breeding would not allow him to participate. Yet in this he had worked almost singly, overcoming such difficulty of character to achieve it. And yet she had once openly criticised him, thought meanly of him and castigated him to his face, never dreaming that within he was without equal. She was amongst all these confused thoughts when the least desired person in the world approached her.

    Mr. Wickham strolled up to her, calling her sister, and asking to speak to her. She did not wish the conversation but if it must be she was feeling in exactly the mood to deal with him. He began by suggesting their friendship had now improved which Elizabeth ignored by asking if anyone else was coming out to join them. He quickly dismissed that idea and probed Elizabeth for details of her visit to Pemberley. She smiled inwardly and prepared herself for his questions. He was determined to find out if she had more particulars of his previous behaviour as he asked her directly whom she had seen there and what they had said of him.

    In this she did not lie, telling him directly that Mrs. Reynolds thought he had not turned out well. She knew that it had affected him as his look became nervous but his curiosity won out and he needed to know more. He began by telling her that he had seen Mr. Darcy in town. No doubt you have sir, she thought. He asked her if she had seen Mr. Darcy at Pemberley and she was so glad to see him squirm as she replied. She even told him how sweet Georgiana had been and watched him attempt to explain his reasons for thinking her proud. Elizabeth was at her best, performing openly for herself and inwardly for Mr. Darcy. He would be proud of her.

    Mr. Wickham then broached the subject of the living he felt was his due and she had pleasure in saying that she had not seen the village and when he told her how much he would have liked the clergy she had the sheer delight in telling him in no uncertain manner that she knew the details of the monetary arrangement which he had made and watching him maneuver his previous words to suit. He was completely uncomfortable and she was happy for it.

    During the conversation she had begun walking to the house, timing her pace carefully so that she could escape him when it suited her. However, on reaching the door, she realised that she should retain some acquaintance with him, if only for Lydia's sake, and so suggested that they were now brother and sister and should not quarrel. His face relaxed but it was with relief that he kissed her hand and saw her go. They would never be friends but at least she had shown she could be civil.

    The Wickhams left after a long stay of almost ten days and Elizabeth could not have been happier. The continual performances of them both in public and private were unbearable and it was with intense pleasure that she bore the prolonged farewells and extremes of emotion as they departed. As the carriage pulled out of the gate, Mr. Bennet expressed some pleasure in having such a personable son-in-law but Elizabeth felt his words were tinged with a touch of irony, as he was well aware of the circumstances of the match. Mrs. Bennet began a dull and irritable period as soon as they left, making the household aware that she missed Lydia most of all her daughters.

    At Pemberley, the end of the long summer and the imminent approach of autumn was enough to cause a change of residence for the guests and it was then that Mr. Darcy approached his friend one day when they were out riding.

    'Bingley, what are you up to when you leave Pemberley?'

    'I am back to town of course.'

    'And what of Netherfield?'

    'What of it?'

    'Do you intend to renew the lease at Michaelmas?'

    'I said that I do not. Why do you ask?'

    'The sport was very enjoyable in Hertfordshire.'

    'Indeed it was. Are you suggesting I return?'

    'If it suits you. You are still the tenant and to leave so much sport unattended...'

    'Darcy you seem eager for me to return. Perhaps you wish to accompany me?'

    'Am I that obvious?'

    'You are indeed sir. I have often wondered why she left Lambton so suddenly.'

    'It was a family matter, I think.'

    'I think you know exactly why she left. In fact your departure was quite near hers. You cannot discuss it?'

    'No, I cannot. But I would like to accompany you to Netherfield.'

    'I am...it is very difficult for me, you know. I do not think of Miss Bennet so very often but to see her again and...very difficult.'

    'And that I understand. If you do not wish to return then do not let my desires change your mind. You must be your own man, Bingley.'

    'You would come with me?'

    'I would indeed.'

    'I must consider it, Darcy. However, if you wish to go without me, feel free to be my guest.'

    'I will do no such thing. Please consider it. If nothing else we will enjoy the sport.'

    'Tis true. If I go, I do not wish Caroline there. She...I think just you and I.'

    'Then you and I it is, sir,' said Mr. Darcy.

    'Have you made up my mind for me, Darcy?'

    'I would never presume to do so.'

    Mr. Bingley smiled at his friend.

    'Perfect. I do so like to make up my own mind. Do you expect any resolution from the visit?' Mr. Bingley asked.

    'Resolution?' replied Mr. Darcy.

    'Are you to make her an offer?'

    'I think that depends on the lady, Bingley.'

    'They hold such power over us,' said Mr. Bingley reflectively.

    'Yes they do. And I think we would have it no other way.'

    'Indeed, Darcy, indeed. When are you free to leave?'

    'I must be in town first.'

    'I was thinking of going straight from here.'

    'Then do so and I will be there the following day.'

    'Perfect. It will give me time to see to the house. I will be there Wednesday.'

    'And I will see you Thursday.'

    'I have never seen you so happy, Darcy.'

    'Happy? I rarely smile.'

    'Oh but you have since her visit here.'

    'Have I?' asked Mr. Darcy quietly. 'I must return to the house. Let us be off,' he said, urging his mount to a swift pace as he turned him to home.

    Hertfordshire was experiencing a somewhat early autumn with a briskness to the air in the evening. There had been no frost but the foliage had slowed its growth and was beginning to prepare itself for winter. Elizabeth was persisting in her long walks although she was leaving a little later to gain the most of the warmth. At least once a week she ventured as far as Netherfield as the sight of the house made her feel closer to him. She sat often within its view thinking of her visit there and reviewing his actions and words in a new light. The way he had stared at her, studied her, was disconcerting then but now she saw that light in his eyes that showed his admiration. Oh that she had seen it earlier. No greater folly is there than a lady determined not to fall in love.

    Almost two weeks after the departure of Mr. and Mrs. Wickham, word spread through Meryton and onto Longbourn that Mr. Bingley was returning to Netherfield. His housekeeper had been seen shopping for supplies from the local farmers and procuring the necessities of a large house from the village itself. The tenure of his stay was said to be several weeks and naturally when this news was delivered by Mrs. Phillips and arrived on the ears of Mrs. Bennet, it sped quickly through her mind and out her mouth. She immediately began to plan for Mr. Bingley's offer to Jane while she continued to spout her indifference to his arrival.

    For Jane it was news indeed. She flushed at the thought of seeing him again and Elizabeth took some pleasure in seeing her sister so happy. Elizabeth was sure when she saw him at Lambton and Pemberley that he had not forgotten her sister but his arrival must surely mean that Mr. Darcy had spoken to him as she was sure he would not have come on his own merit. Mr. Bingley was an affable man not ready to put himself voluntarily into a situation that might cause him pain.

    Mrs. Bennet then began her usual scheme with her husband. He must call on Mr. Bingley and so she began to discuss it in front of him, taking a line that presumed he had no choice in the matter. He, of course, took on his usual pattern of behaviour by refusing to consider it, all the while knowing that he would probably concede. Mrs. Bennet was sure that the other mothers of single girls would get there first with their invitations and her life would be ruined again. Such speculation and discussions continued up to the day of his arrival and by then Jane was almost sure that he should not come if the family and the neighbourhood was to react so.

    However, he did come on the day he was due but no one saw him at all. The only word they had was from the servants. He had dined at home, saw no one and had not even been seen at sport the next morning.

    At Netherfield, Mr. Bingley had settled in quite nicely. He had arrived around four o'clock and had bathed before the evening meal and retired early. The following morning he expected the arrival of his friend but Mr. Darcy sent word that he would not be there until Friday. Mr. Bingley had no desire to find himself accidentally in the presence of Miss Bennet and to secure his safety in this, he remained at Netherfield, taking care of estate business and catching up on the progress of the pastures.

    On Friday morning, Mr. Darcy arrived, just before noon. He was greeted with great affection from Mr. Bingley who had found that two days alone in a house was more than sufficient for a man such as himself.

    'I am sorry I was delayed, Bingley.'

    'It is nothing. You are here now,' replied Mr. Bingley.

    'And what have you been up to?'

    'I have seen to the estate. The early chill is not good for the lambs.'

    'So you have not seen her?'

    'Miss Elizabeth? No I have not,' replied Mr. Bingley.

    'Charles, you know I mean Miss Bennet.'

    'I have not seen her either. I have been nowhere. I have been awaiting your expert advice. And besides, this trip is for you.'

    Mr. Darcy smiled.

    'Do you wish to visit with me? I think it would be ill-mannered not to.'

    'I agree. We shall ride over together and allow fate to take its course.'

    'Tomorrow morning then?' asked Mr. Darcy.

    'Yes, tomorrow morning. Now let us be to lunch. I have much to discuss with you.'

    They ate a hearty lunch and a light evening meal and after a further discussion on the time to leave in the morning, they went their separate ways to retire. Not that either expected much sleep. It seemed impossible to rest when so much might come of the following day. Mr. Bingley was anxious but also ready to accept that Miss Bennet's affections were not so keen as his own. Perhaps she had even found a suitor elsewhere.

    Mr. Darcy was of no such mind. He had seen Elizabeth's change toward him and he now only needed to find that it remained. He was nervous, afraid that her return home had changed her mind. Perhaps she even had another suitor by now. No, he must not think such thoughts. She was not a lady to change her mind so quickly and he was sure not more than six weeks ago, that she would have been his, had he the time to be with her.

    They both arrived at breakfast in their very best riding clothes, Mr. Bingley's habit as well made as Mr. Darcy's but not quite so fastidiously worn. Mr. Darcy had changed waistcoats twice, finding the one originally designed for the pants to be too strong in colour for his purposes. They ate quickly and donning their frock coats, both mounted silently. They were halfway there at a light trot when Mr. Bingley spoke.

    'Do you think we are too early, Darcy?'

    'No, it is past ten. They will be about.'

    'Do you suppose that they are out walking already?'

    'I should think not. I hope not,' said Mr. Darcy.

    They were now on the lane leading to the gate at Longbourn and both slowed their pace to a walk, unconsciously delaying what could be a disappointing visit as even Mr. Darcy had begun to doubt himself. Mrs. Bennet was still in her dressing room and it was her servant who happened to see the two men in the lane and pointing it out to Mrs. Bennet caused her to rush to the window herself. She began calling the girls to look out the windows nearest them and only Jane managed to retain her composure and remain seated. Elizabeth, in a desire to quiet her mother, went to look herself. There were two riders. And in the first glance she knew the second rider was Mr. Darcy.

    She gasped, not loud enough for others to hear but enough to flush her face. She managed to return to her seat at the table with Jane as her mother came downstairs to join her daughters. Kitty informed Mrs. Bennet of the second rider, describing him but unable to remember his name. Elizabeth sat silently, listening to it all while attempting to shore up her thinking. How could Kitty not remember his name? His name of all names! She looked at Jane who, although she knew little of Elizabeth's relationship with Mr. Darcy, knew enough to know that this meeting was not going to be an easy one.

    Mrs. Bennet was so disappointed that Mr. Bingley was not alone that she began a fully-fledged whine about Mr. Darcy. She had never liked him, never would, but she would be civil to him simply because he came with Mr. Bingley. Oh what could Elizabeth say to all this. He was the very man who had given his all to secure their stability as a family and yet he was being treated as a very unwelcome visitor. Elizabeth's palour faded even more as she heard the sound of their arrival. He must only have come for her. Surely he had only come for her!

    She began an intense concentration on her work, refusing to look directly at him when he walked in. She did glance at Jane who was looking very pale. The servant went to the door and suddenly they were there.

    'Mr. Bingley, how marvelous to see you again. We had heard you were back at Netherfield,' said Mrs. Bennet.

    'I am happy to see you again, ma'am. And I brought my friend, Mr. Darcy.'

    'It is good to see you also, Mr. Darcy.'

    He bowed to Mrs. Bennet and then accepted the reverence of the Misses Bennet, saving his last glance for Elizabeth. She looked at him quickly not securing his eyes at all. It was too much to see what he might be thinking. She had yet to consider what she herself was thinking. He saw her fleeting glance in some trepidation. Was she afraid of him? Did she wish to censure him for coming without notice? He was confused and turned his attention to Miss Bennet and his friend. He must see what was there first before he could inform his friend of Elizabeth's thoughts.

    They all sat then and Mrs. Bennet ordered tea while the conversation continued.

    'Mr. Bingley, we have not heard of you since you left Netherfield last year. It has been so long. I hope you will not be away so suddenly again,' said Mrs. Bennet.

    'I had business in town, ma'am. I am pleased to see that the district is just as beautiful as ever,' he replied sneaking a long look at Jane as she concentrated on her stitches. Mr. Darcy observed her and saw a slight blush as she became aware of his friend's interest. Perhaps her feelings were still as Elizabeth had said. He looked across at Elizabeth and hoped to catch her eye.

    'Miss Elizabeth, I must enquire as to the health of Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner. Are they well, madam?' he said quietly and directly to her.

    'Oh ... yes ... yes, sir. They are very well. At least they were ... I am sure they are well,' replied Elizabeth in more confusion than she had ever felt in her life. 'And sir, what of your sister, Miss Darcy. She is well I hope?'

    'She is indeed. She was quite disappointed at not being able to say good...,' he flushed as he thought of the circumstances, '...she is very well indeed.'

    Mr. Darcy looked intently at her but could only gain another quick glance but this time she did catch his eyes at least. However as soon as she did, she looked down again, unwilling to allow the room to see her discomposure. He looked away to the window, disappointed that she was unable to see him without confusion. Perhaps it was too soon, or worse too late.

    He was still within those thoughts when Mrs. Bennet chose to enlighten them about the happenings in the district. She began with the wedding count, of course, Miss Lucas first and then onto Lydia and Mr. Wickham, relating that event in such detail that they were subjected to the actual wording of the newspaper announcements. Mr. Bingley politely replied that he had seen it but Mr. Darcy simply stared straight ahead, unable to look at anyone or anything and remain composed. Elizabeth likewise was unable to look up at him and kept her concentration on her work.

    Mrs. Bennet continued on, rambling about how delightful it was to have a daughter well married, a comment that made Elizabeth cringe. She then began complaining of his commission up north and how it was a shame his friends did not assist in keeping them closer. There was nothing for this but a slur on Mr. Darcy. He was the only so-called friend that Mr. Wickham was known to have and especially the only one who could ever hope to assist him. Elizabeth was utterly shamed for her family, herself and everyone associated with them. The man standing here had been nothing but the very best of people, and in particular had done more than any man is expected to do, yet her mother thought of nothing but that he must be as he seemed, a silent, reserved man who kept to himself. And such a man could never have assisted Mr. Wickham!

    Not content to leave it at that, Mrs. Bennet began to court Mr. Bingley as a suitor for Jane by almost begging him to shoot at Longbourn. She fawned and fussed over him, requiring assurances that he would call again and all the time smiling across at Jane. Jane herself was looking and behaving better and better as the visit proceeded. Although it was her desire to appear unchanged, each minute in the presence of Mr. Bingley brought more colour to her cheeks and more animation to her whole self. On seeing this Elizabeth could only be thankful and realised she would be willing to bear with anything her mother did or said if it resulted in such happiness for Jane.

    The visit was having the opposite effect on Mr. Darcy. Finding the conversation difficult he had withdrawn into himself as he always did under such circumstances. Every word Mrs. Bennet uttered took him further inside, no doubt as a barrier against his emotions, which in the presence of Elizabeth had reached a point of extreme. The conversation over tea left little room for Elizabeth to speak and of that she was glad. Mr. Darcy was seated between Kitty and Mary quite far from herself and although such a distance had meant nothing at Pemberley, at Longbourn it meant a lot and he found himself unable to think of a single thing to say. He nodded occasionally and appeared to listen well but that was the end of it. He contributed nothing to the visit other than his presence, which in Elizabeth's eyes was more than enough at present. She needed to speak to him alone before she could resolve her feelings and his.

    She watched the clock as the required half an hour crept by, wishing it gone, hoping it would never end, longing to be alone with him, alarmed at what might happen if she were. He too was aware of the time. Half an hour could seem so long when nothing was to come of it but Mrs. Bennet's ramblings and so short when a man needed desperately to talk to a lady he loved. But he had seen Miss Bennet and was almost sure she was in love. At least that was something. Elizabeth looked so distraught. Her face was solemn, her manner more withdrawn than he had ever seen it. How he wished to be alone with her. In that he was resolved. Nothing could come of them until they had some time alone. All this was useless. It left him with nothing but glimpses of her, frustrating him beyond reason. He simply wanted to jump up and escort her to the garden and finish it. But it could not be so. He must bide his time as any suitor must do, longing for more, desperate for more, but silent to his yearnings.

    As the time came for them to leave, Mrs. Bennet hastily reminded Mr. Bingley that he had promised to dine with them one evening the year before and she insisted that he honour his promise. It was such a silly reminder that once again Elizabeth shrank within herself. It was simply an awful example of her family's behaviour. Jane was too enraptured with Mr. Bingley to notice but she was sure that Mr. Darcy's silence was the result of it. As Mr. Bingley stood to leave, Elizabeth felt it necessary to at least offer some recompense for her mother's behaviour.

    'I am so pleased you came to visit Mr. Bingley, Mr. Darcy. It seems such a long time since I saw you in Derbyshire.'

    'It has been many weeks. I know Darcy was disappointed that you had to leave in such a hurry,' said Mr. Bingley.

    Mr. Darcy glanced across at Elizabeth, the corners of his mouth tight and firm with no hint of anything but grimness. How she wished to see the smile that was hers alone.

    'It could not be helped, I am afraid,' replied Elizabeth offering no more that might bring her mother into the conversation. 'Good morning Mr. Bingley. Good morning Mr. Darcy.'

    She bowed politely to Mr. Bingley but to Mr. Darcy, her reverence was slightly less formal, finishing with a lift of her eyes to his face. It was enough to raise him to heights unknown. His face barely flickered in response but his heart leapt. He bowed to her and turned immediately for the door. Just as he would disappear from her view, he turned again, looking intently at her, leaving her once again in turmoil. If he loved her, why did he not speak? She watched the last shadow of him as he swept through. The view of them mounting and then riding slowing out the gate was observed by Kitty leaving no opportunity for either Elizabeth or Jane to be at the window. They turned to each other and smiled and as soon as they had cleared the gate Elizabeth walked out to the garden to contemplate the visit in solitude.

    She could make little of it. He had not spoken as often as he could. He had barely glanced at her. She would think no more of him. But he was there, before her eyes, looking deeply into her, forcing her to think only of him. Jane's approach regretfully brought her back to Longbourn and she had pleasure in teasing her sister about Mr. Bingley for the rest of the afternoon.

    The gentlemen rode slowly and were half way home before Mr. Darcy spoke. He had spent the first half of the journey contemplating what she was thinking. Why did she speak so little? Why did she not look at him? The silence between the gentlemen was immense as they both absorbed the visit.

    'So Bingley, I think it went well.'

    'I think you should have spoken more.'

    'There was no opportunity to speak,' replied Mr. Darcy.

    'You took no opportunity. Darcy you must learn to behave at such visits.'

    'You cannot fault my manners, Bingley.'

    'No but I can fault your manner with ladies, Darcy. Miss Elizabeth was waiting for you to speak.'

    'She hardly said a word herself. Her eyes were glued to that silly embroidery yet she completed not one stitch,' said Mr. Darcy in frustration.

    'A sure sign that she is yours!' replied Mr. Bingley.

    'Oh Charles, how you do go on. Besides I did not see you take your eyes off Miss Bennet.'

    'Oh Darcy she is an angel. What think you? Did you see any change in her? I thought she seemed quite lively at times.'

    'From what I saw, the lady is interested. However, Charles I must say that I am still not sure she is in love. I must see her again.'

    'And you shall next Tuesday when we dine. I am hopeful Darcy, very hopeful. But as you say, I wish for more time to talk to her, without her mother.'

    'At least we can safely say that Mrs. Bennet is unchanged,' said Mr. Darcy light heartedly.

    'Once you could never laugh at her, Darcy. I am glad to see you have lightened your tone.'

    'There is no choice in the matter. She will be what she will be. Oh that her daughters have none of her in them.'

    'Except her beauty,' said Mr. Bingley.

    'She has that,' replied Mr. Darcy.

    They ate a hearty country lunch and spent the afternoon shooting game for the kitchen. Elizabeth could hear the shots ring out over the paddocks and knew it was him. She thought of him after his sport with his hair tussled, his colour heightened and she so wished to be there when he walked to Netherfield. But for now it could not be. She must content herself with half an hour in his company and wait for Tuesday. She would take long walks each day, attempt to think not a single thought of him and hope desperately that they met accidentally along the way.

    He was quite successful at the shoot, bagging four pigeons and three pheasants. The dogs were also performing well and managed to collect each hit. Mr. Bingley had an even more victorious hunt and they returned full of congratulatory remarks to each other. Mr. Bingley had decided to fill the days until Tuesday with riding and hunting leaving no time to think at all.

    Mr. Darcy also wanted to be on the move but his mind was such that no physical exertion would rid him of thoughts of her. Perhaps he would see her walking, for he knew she would walk. Perhaps they might meet in Meryton as before but this time with no hint of Wickham. He slept long that Saturday night and after a Sunday in which he did not see her at church, nor while he was riding, he was also well ready for bed. Monday it rained and he could not walk as he wished and so he saw nothing of her. He was left with his memory for that night, a memory as transient as any, allowing him only enough for partial recollection. He fell asleep to her eyes, her hair, her voice and her body, each passing alone without connection to the other. He could go no longer with simply thoughts of her. It was so raw within him, open and painful even, sensitive to everything that was her and could not be his. A whole evening with her must secure it or he might really do something rash.

    Chapter 43

    Posted on Sunday, 21 September 2003

    The few days spent waiting for the next visit from the gentlemen were ample time for Mrs. Bennet to convince herself that Mr. Bingley had returned in order to make an offer to Jane. She would brook no comment that varied from this and thus the entire time was passed by the rest of the family listening to her excitement. In order to procure just what she wanted, she spent hours going over the menu and deciding the seating arrangements.

    Of course Jane was almost as mortified as Elizabeth would have been if Mrs. Bennet had similar thoughts on Mr. Darcy. But Jane was not Elizabeth and so her suffering was subdued and had little effect on anyone except her sister as Elizabeth enjoyed some subtle teasing of her. In fact Elizabeth was perhaps the only one who found some joy in her mother's behaviour as it left her free of any mention of Mr. Darcy by her family. Even Jane, who knew more than most, took no time to think of him or his reasons for being there. Elizabeth had rejected him and her concentration on Mr. Bingley left her no time to consider any change in Elizabeth's feelings.

    Elizabeth had spent the rainy Monday working on what to wear. She knew it was silly and frivolous to spend so much time in her room but what else does a lady of twenty-one years do when she is to dine with the man she loves and hope that he makes her a second offer? Thus she unfolded her best frock, her Netherfield Ball frock, and thought seriously about wearing it. But would he notice? Would he find it too obvious? And her family would wonder why she was wearing her best dress for dinner at home. She so wanted to feel her prettiest but it seemed that another choice was necessary. There was nothing for it but her white voile. She had worn it at Pemberley and as that was amongst her happiest times, she saw no reason to choose another.

    Tuesday was a dull day, loaded with the last vestiges of the previous one. There was the feel of more rain, the chill of damp air, but nothing but grey sky. Her mother was up early, choosing the meat from the day's selection and supervising the pastry. She insisted the table be set by three o'clock after spending the morning screeching at the servants over the polish on the silver. The table was extended to seat a total of eighteen including Sir William and Lady Lucas, Miss Lucas and her two older brothers Jonah and Harold, Mr. and Mrs. Phillips, Mrs. Long and her two nieces, Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley. Mrs. Bennet's choice of the Longs was suitable only because the girls were exceedingly plain and were a nice contrast to the beauty of her own daughters.

    The afternoon at Netherfield was also one of tension. Mr. Darcy was resolved to make something of the night and he had determined that nothing would keep him from speaking to Elizabeth. He had spent almost three days thinking how he would begin and each time he resolved on the right words, new ones crammed his mind and he had no choice but to begin anew. The correct address for any occasion had always come quite naturally to him but this was something he could not bungle. He only hoped that her behaviour at Pemberley and her glances at Longbourn were the indication he thought they were and that she was only waiting for him to speak.

    Geoffrey chose his black pants, white shirt and cravat, a waistcoat resembling the colour of burned butter and a black coat under his frock coat, which was also black. His slippers were shined to a mirror finish over socks of fine woven silk. He contemplated the grey pants and dark green coat but the black made him think of her smile. She seemed happier when he was wearing the black.

    Mr. Bingley was already pulling on his gloves before Mr. Darcy appeared. He felt as anxious as his friend to resolve his link to Longbourn. He was still wary of Jane, all too aware now of her inability to show any feeling. He thought he knew her looks and her colour but Mr. Darcy's advice lingered in his mind and until they had discussed it further, he felt it difficult to give his all to her. The carriage took only fifteen minutes to reach the gates of Longbourn and despite them both wishing to be first, they found the curricle of Mr. and Mrs. Phillips already there.

    The drawing room seemed filled already when they were ushered in. Elizabeth was standing quite near the fireplace, consciously seeking some refuge familiar to him. He saw her instantly. She was wearing a white dress, layered with folds of almost transparent fabric, hinting at her body but revealing little. Her hair was wound with fine white ribbon, flowing in and out the deep curls at the crown of her head. He acknowledged her with a bow of his body but kept his eyes on her with a lingering look. On seeing her similar response, he was about to approach her when Mr. Bennet moved in front of him with a welcoming wine and animated conversation on the hunt. He listened and answered in as lively a tone as he could muster, hoping that agreement might speedily end the topic. However Mr. Phillips soon joined in and together they sought his advice on guns and dogs. He tried every measure he knew to rid himself of them but as Mrs. Bennet had instructed her husband to keep Mr. Darcy from his friend, and there was nothing to be had but compliance, Mr. Darcy was caught in a round of masculine small talk which gave him no more pleasure than the feminine kind.

    Elizabeth was soon joined by Miss Lucas when she arrived with her parents and brothers and it was only just prior to the dinner bell that Kitty descended and took her away. The room was so crowded when the Longs arrived that apart from the normal obeisance of married couples going first, there was no regulation for escorts to dinner. Thus Elizabeth watched as the two gentlemen of interest entered the dining room. Mr. Bingley had a request to join Mrs. Bennet but he fortunately had not replied before Jane smiled at him and his choice was made.

    As she watched Mr. Bingley, she noticed his rather silly expression to Mr. Darcy which Elizabeth realised came from previous discussion they must have had, although it was not one of seeking sanction for being beside Jane but rather one of luck. She looked to Mr. Darcy who gave his friend a rather mild response as if he expected nothing less. Elizabeth had been standing by her chair as she watched him, hoping that he could move through the room to her side but on losing Mr. Bingley, her mother had to have Mr. Darcy in his rightful place beside her, if for no other reason than to keep him from occupying the conversation of his friend. It seemed that both Elizabeth's parents were working against her. He politely accepted his honour and took his seat beside his hostess and Elizabeth sank in mood. She had expected him to rid himself of her father in the drawing room and come to her but he seemed to enjoy being with the gentlemen and now she had this!

    Mr. Darcy waited until Mrs. Bennet was seated and then took his seat, never once removing his eyes from Elizabeth. It was sheer torture to be in a room with her, actually dining at the same table as her and be unable to utter a single word to her. She sat next to Mr. Bingley and beside the elder Miss Long, an affable girl of Elizabeth's age but with little education and too much time on her hands. She giggled at Elizabeth and discreetly pointed to Mr. Darcy as she took her seat and Elizabeth simply looked away and ignored such silly girlish behaviour. Mrs. Bennet began the conversation of course and just as predictably it was trivial.

    'Mr. Bingley, I cannot tell you what a remarkable change you make to the district when you are at Netherfield. I am sure I have not seen the population happier.'

    'I am sure it is nothing to do with me, ma'am,' replied Mr. Bingley. 'This always seems a lively neighbourhood.'

    'Oh but a gentleman such as yourself can only enhance it, sir,' said Mrs. Bennet, smiling fondly at him.

    Mr. Darcy looked across at his friend and the momentary exchange of looks was enough for Elizabeth to see the difficulty he was having sitting next to her mother. She gave tertiary comment to anything said by Miss Long and did her best to stay away from comment to Mr. Bingley, hoping that he would concentrate on Jane. He did seem to be increasing his interest and she was happy to see Jane becoming more and more relaxed in his company. All this did nothing to improve her mood though and it seemed it mirrored Mr. Darcy's. The gentleman was looking quite stern and appeared to be listening to her mother.

    'Mr. Darcy, I hope you are enjoying your stay at Netherfield,' said Mrs. Bennet.

    'I am indeed, madam. It is a delightful estate.'

    'And tell me, sir, has Mr. Bingley an excellent cook? I pride myself on my table Mr. Darcy. I think there is nothing more telling about an estate than its cook.'

    Mr. Darcy showed no expression at all as she continued on and after almost five minutes of incessant chatter he spoke.

    'I agree Mrs. Bennet. Your partridges are done to a turn. I have never tasted better.'

    He turned to her as he finished and was glad to see that she was as easily won by praise as he suspected. She looked around the table with a small gloating smile and did not speak to him again for almost ten minutes. Elizabeth had seen the encounter and wondered what he had said that made her mother appear so superior. It was at this time that Elizabeth chose to speak.

    'My uncle has not stopped talking of the angling he did in Derbyshire. Are the fish as plentiful at Netherfield, Mr. Bingley?'

    Mr. Darcy looked up at the sound of her voice and although she glanced sideways at Mr. Bingley, her attention was all on his friend.

    'Nothing surpasses the fish at Pemberley, Miss Elizabeth. However I do think my pheasant are fatter,' replied Mr. Bingley.

    'Fatter indeed,' smiled Mr. Darcy, 'perhaps that is because you have been absent and they have grown complacent.'

    Elizabeth looked to him with a huge smile, lighting her eyes and tingling his heart. But before he could linger in her expression, it disappeared as she saw his slight blush. Perhaps she should not have spoken of Derbyshire. Perhaps it reminded him of her hasty departure. Frustrated beyond sense, she withdrew into her own thoughts and heard little of the conversation during all the meat courses. Occasionally she heard the tone of his voice and looked up but nothing seemed to change his expression. He was dour and solemn with no hint of the humour he had attempted earlier.

    Mr. Darcy was feeling more and more discouraged as the meal progressed. She seemed to be looking at him but her countenance was anything but pleased. She appeared to want to be elsewhere. He just hoped that her thoughts of that place included him. Of course he also wished to be anywhere else as long as she was with him. Oh to be alone but he could think of no way to accomplish it. And so the meal continued, course after course, each designed to improve on the previous until the desserts arrived on huge trays.

    He chose a small helping each of the caramel custard and the bread and butter pudding. She chose the raspberry fool. As they both put the first spoonful into their mouths, their eyes met again and although it was impossible to smile, it was possible to make that connection that only lovers can, the exchange of glances filled with more yearning than could ever be expressed in words. His heart leapt, causing him to reach for his napkin to avoid spilling the custard from his spoon. She lowered her eyes and continued to slowly spoon the custard into her mouth as he watched her carefully, feeling for himself the soft warmth and creaminess as it slipped between her lips. He picked up his spoon again and continued to eat his own dessert imagining such things that a man should keep for the privacy of his own rooms.

    The completion of the meal meant the loss of his company and it was with great annoyance that Elizabeth moved to the drawing room with the ladies. Mr. Darcy watched her go with almost sadness. At least he could look at her while she was in the dining room but now he was forced to endure more of the talk of men when he only wished for the ambience of her.

    She took a seat away from the ladies, wishing for nothing but her own thoughts of him. Jane approached her and expressed her happiness at the evening and Elizabeth tried her very best to show no envy. But envious she was, separated from him for the whole evening while her sister had the constant attention of Mr. Bingley. Her mood soured more and more as the time passed. It was not more than half an hour but it seemed an eternity before the door of the dining room opened and the gentlemen proceeded to the ladies. She was about to move aside to a spot away from the others, when Jane asked her to pour the coffee while she took care of the tea. Elizabeth could not refuse and so she was crowded by the ladies as the gentlemen entered. She looked up at him and he looked at her but then she was reminded of her duty and had no choice but to continue to pour.

    Mr. Darcy was at the extremes of emotion now, having endured hours in her company but without her. He moved deliberately to the table hoping to move in close to her to obtain his coffee. However Miss Long, always determined to thwart any connection between a gentleman and another lady, moved closer to Elizabeth and even spoke of her intention in a tone loud enough for him to hear. It was not often that Elizabeth felt the need to take some physical retribution on a fellow human being but if there was a time, this was it. She positively fumed at such silly ploys.

    Mr. Darcy saw and heard Miss Long and took no censure of Elizabeth in the action. Instead he moved across the room, knowing that to linger was to assist Miss Long in her own moves. Perhaps if he was distant, Elizabeth might have the chance to approach him. She watched him walk away, taking note of his stance, his steps, his expression, his hands, his hair. There was one curl that seemed to always take its own course. Her distraction was noticed by those requiring coffee and Miss Long took it upon herself to remind Elizabeth of her duty. Meanwhile she noticed Mr. Bingley approach Jane again, who quickly left the tea pouring to Kitty. Why she and Mr. Darcy could not have the same opportunities was lost on Elizabeth. Surely they deserved it more. Having no reason for their ill luck, she took to blaming him for his reserve and his hauteur and just as quickly she dismissed such thoughts as being no better than Miss Long might think of. He had reduced her to a quibbling idiot she was sure.

    Mr. Darcy stood alone at the side of the room, often approached by various guests including the two sons of Sir William Lucas who wanted to know more of his estate and his game. He answered them with enthusiasm which Elizabeth resented no end. He seemed to have none for her. Then Sir William approached him and he too got a pleasant response. She was gradually compiling a list of those she envied and such thoughts continually left her wanting as a coffee pourer. The man himself was just as distracted but had found that a slight smile and a nod was enough to please those who dared approach him so he continued to offer it to all. How could it be possible for a lady to be confined for nearly half an hour just pouring coffee? He had never given the task a single thought until now but it seemed quite a ridiculous amount of time.

    Elizabeth was almost through her task when those who received their cups first, returned for a second cup and she was once more tied to the table. She had now decided that his reticence in speaking to her was due to the fact that she had refused him once and such a man would never offer again. But then of course she was immediately back to the thought that he was here, in her parent's drawing room, sneaking as many looks at her as she was at him. That must mean something. She was about to plead an empty pot when she felt a stir as he moved towards her table. Her heart lifted, her colour improved as he got closer and closer. He was about to place his empty cup on the table when she leapt in, asking him if Miss Darcy was still at Pemberley.

    He looked up with brightest smile and replied that she was indeed and would be there until Christmas. Elizabeth could not possibly leave it at that and the only thing she could think of was a comment as to her being alone. What a brainless thing to say! He smiled again though and told her that Mrs. Annesley was with her at least since the others left for Scarborough. He had told her everything and left nothing to ask! She stood looking slightly down at his waist while he stood tall and looking at her hair. Miss Long continued to consider herself Elizabeth's protector, not deviating from her position of almost touching her. It was simply impossible to continue talking with her so close. Mr. Darcy did not move though, instead hoping that his stature would frighten off the lady and leave Elizabeth for him alone.

    Of course, any person with a degree of social grace would have seen his reason and left. However Miss Long was not blessed with any more intelligence than her hostess. She would do what she would do and so she whispered conspiratorially to Elizabeth again. As she spoke, Elizabeth heard him sigh, heavily and deeply. To her it was a glimmer of hope. To him it was simply frustration. The night was halfway over and still he had no chance to speak to her.

    After almost three quarters of an hour, the tea and coffee ritual was over. The table was cleared and Elizabeth was free to move to his side of the room. She politely dismissed Miss Long and looked up at him and at that moment her mother approached him and demanded he join her table for whist. Whist! Elizabeth was furious with her mother for commanding so much of his attention in a deliberate move to keep him from occupying his friend. As he stood listening to Mrs. Bennet, he saw Elizabeth stop. Catching her eye he simply looked placidly at her, not wishing to offend her mother by showing his reluctance to play. This time it was Elizabeth who sighed but as she did she saw her chance to join her mother's table also. She walked across to it and was about to take the seat opposite her mother and adjacent to Mr. Darcy when Mrs. Long touched her arm.

    'Miss Elizabeth, I am sorry. Your dear mother asked me to join her at this table.'

    'Yes Lizzy. You must play with the girls. Go on, be off,' said Mrs. Bennet, dismissing Elizabeth in no uncertain terms.

    She glanced across at him with heightened colour, embarrassed at her mother's words. He had just as much displeasure in them but managed to keep his mood in check. All in all Mrs. Bennet was finding Mr. Darcy a much more likable young man than she suspected on his first visit. Elizabeth wandered over to the Misses Long who had been joined by Kitty. She could think of no further disasters that could possibly occur to ruin all the expectations of this night but she did demand to have the seat facing Mr. Darcy at least. The games began, complete with exclamations of cards wrongly played, glee at rounds won and silent desperation from Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy.

    He sat watching her behind her mother. It was quite convenient as it made Mrs. Bennet feel she had his attention when all the while she simply had his presence. He could not concentrate on anything but his aggravation of the evening. Nothing had gone to plan. He did not even arrive with a plan but perhaps it might have helped. Meanwhile Mr. Bingley had managed to avoid the dreaded whist tables and was spending his evening talking quietly to Miss Bennet. At least that seemed secure, as there could be no doubt in anyone's mind, including Mr. Darcy that she was in love with his friend.

    After what felt like an eternity to both Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy, the games were over and supper was to be served. Elizabeth's heart lifted with the possibility that he would approach her but before he had time to do more than thank his fellow players, Mr. Bingley's man announced that their carriage was ready. Mr. Bingley seemed to find no difficulty with them being the first to leave but Mr. Darcy was furious. He had no more time for simple annoyance. The whole evening would have been best left with them dining in separate houses. Anything would be better than being so near to her and yet being unable to be with her. To Mrs. Bennet's credit she did attempt to lure them to stay for supper, hoping that any time added between Jane and Mr. Bingley would be auspicious. However, Mr. Bingley was quite content to finish the evening at that point and politely declined supper. His friend looked once more at Elizabeth and saw what he hoped was as much disappointment in her eyes as was in her heart.

    He strode outside with barely a whisper of goodbye to anyone and Mr. Bingley found himself in the company of an angry man on their return to Netherfield.

    'Darcy?'

    'What?'

    'What indeed? It was a quite delightful evening.'

    'For you my friend.'

    'You did not enjoy Miss Elizabeth's company?'

    'I had none of Miss Elizabeth's company. You, of course, were too occupied to notice. The whole evening was a disaster. Might I ask why the carriage was ordered so early?'

    'It is not early. It was simply the first ordered. I had no idea there would be so many courses.'

    'Surely we could have stayed for supper although how the woman expected anyone to consume more food is beyond me,' said a very aggravated Mr. Darcy.

    'I did see your unfortunate seating arrangement but you were near her during tea.'

    'Near? What is near when she is surrounded by tittering girls with nothing to recommend them other than their inability to speak sensibly? I had no more than a few words with her, Bingley. Nothing of consequence.'

    'So nothing has been decided?'

    'Good God man, what would you have me do? Make a second offer in the middle of her parent's drawing room?'

    'Darcy, it does no good to behave so. I am sure you will see her out walking. We could even call tomorrow.'

    'As you know, we cannot. You have an appointment with the saddle maker and there are the new fences to inspect.'

    'I could manage alone if you wish to visit Longbourn,' said Mr. Bingley.

    'I would happily accept that if it were not for the fact that you specifically asked me to accompany you. I will not go back on my word.'

    'You really do expect too much of yourself, Darcy.'

    'I will hear no more of it. Perhaps on Thursday we might visit. By then I might have calmed down.'

    Mr. Bingley laughed which brought a dour look from his friend.

    'I see no amusement in this Bingley!'

    'My apologies, Darcy, but I have never seen you so enamoured and it does me good to see you suffering the frustrations of love.'

    'You are such a romantic, Charles.'

    'Oh but not a patch on you my friend. I may love but you will always love with a passion I will never feel. I believe that Miss Elizabeth is just right for you. She is a lady who finds it hard to hide her moods.'

    'There is little use in thinking she may be right for me. Until I have a chance to speak to her again, there is no hope of any attachment.'

    'From what I see of the lady, the attachment is already there. It is only the words that need to be spoken,' said Mr. Bingley.

    Mr. Darcy found the words lifted his spirits slightly and he spent the remainder of the short journey looking out at the night and smiling quietly to himself.

    At Longbourn, Mrs. Bennet had subjected the family to her opinion of the dinner including Mr. Darcy's praise of her partridges. She also found time to praise Jane and express her hopes for a speedy resolution with Mr. Bingley. All this left Elizabeth in no less of a mood than Mr. Darcy. There was just nothing to cling to. They had spoken no more than a few sentences and despite his continual interest in watching her, he had made no moves to secure her privately. She went over the evening minute by minute, securing in her own mind at least five times that he could have spoken to her. Men are such silly creatures! It must all be so straightforward with them.

    Detailed thoughts of the evening were still on her mind when Jane asked her what she thought of it all. One look at her sister was enough to show the happiness she felt and Elizabeth joined her in a smile of knowing. Jane was embarrassed but content. Her life seemed to be going just as she had hoped a year ago. They parted in the hall, both retiring to their rooms with vastly different thoughts. Jane was simply waiting for the happy event with no doubts left. Elizabeth had been so sure that Mr. Darcy's visits were for her but as he made no special approach, she was beginning to doubt her reasoning. She fell asleep for a short while and spent the rest of the night tossing and turning until her nightgown was a twisted mess and she found it necessary to get out of the bed and rearrange the covers and herself.

    Mr. Darcy refused any offer of refreshment stating that it could have been had at Longbourn. He undressed himself leaving his clothes scattered in the dressing room for his man to tidy. He lay down, pulling up the covers and staring at the dark ceiling. It should have been resolved one way or another. He could not believe that he had been so close to her and yet was still filled with doubt. Why did she not rid herself of that friend so that they could speak more freely? It was almost as if she clung to her to keep him away. Must women always do things together!

    As he thought over the evening his mind came back again and again to his friend. There was no doubt of Miss Bennet's feelings yet Mr. Bingley seemed reluctant to make an offer. He knew that his own words were still lingering in Mr. Bingley's mind as well as his own and he had no doubt that he must disclose his reasons for acting as he did.

    And why was Elizabeth so different now? She had no humour. Her only words were of his sister. She did not tease him or bait him. Were her feelings changed? Did she no longer find him the object of her attentions? Love seemed so easy when one was not within it but the reality of his feelings had long since left him suffering the insecurity of giving his heart to another. He was no longer complete within himself and could never be again until he had her within the realm of his life. Eventually he drifted off to sleep and woke at eight o'clock the next morning with nothing on his mind but the tip of her tongue removing a dribble of custard from her lips.

    Chapter 44

    Posted on Sunday, 28 September 2003

    Wednesday dawned bright and sunny in Hertfordshire and especially in Meryton. The day was cool but the shadows were as sharp as is seen in that part of the world. Mr. Darcy was up a little late after his night of remonstrations at himself and Elizabeth and found Mr. Bingley was whistling in the breakfast room.

    'Bingley? What are you doing?'

    'Getting breakfast.'

    'Bingley you were whistling.'

    'I was ... was I?'

    'Certainly. The servants will be in uproar.'

    'Indeed they will. I was not aware. And you Darcy, has your mood improved?'

    'No!'

    'Oh!'

    Mr. Darcy swept the length of the breakfast sideboard and returned to the table with a coddled egg and two slices of toasted bread. He was buttering the second piece before Mr. Bingley spoke again.

    'Is ten o'clock right for you?'

    'Excuse me,' asked Mr. Darcy.

    'The saddle. We are to look at the leather.'

    'Oh, yes. Ten is perfect. Riding?'

    'No, curricle I think. That way we can continue through to the fences. Perhaps we could lunch in Meryton.'

    'And your steward?' asked Mr. Darcy.

    'He will meet us at the northern perimeter. It seems there is vast rot. No doubt due to the poor weather.'

    'No doubt. It is much worse at Pemberley. I have had the northern fences repaired at least twice in the last five years. The timber can be used by the tenants though. Saves considerable pilfering of trees.'

    'Good point. I say Darcy, estates entail considerable expense. What with taxes and repairs. And the tenants. I can't say I find it easy to deal with problems.'

    'You cannot fix it all, Bingley. You must allow some situations to work themselves out.'

    'I could do with a lady to run this house though,' said Mr. Bingley, looking up at his friend.

    Mr. Darcy paused and observed Mr. Bingley. He was definitely in the throws of love again and yet had found a new reserve regarding discussion of it. Mr. Darcy felt an overwhelming responsibility for this. He was about to broach the subject when the servant knocked and entered with news that the curricle was ready even though it was only half past nine. Mr. Bingley turned to Mr. Darcy and with a glance they acknowledged they would be off early. For Mr. Darcy it was a welcome change. He needed time to consider how to mention what he knew of Miss Bennet.

    Elizabeth and Jane had spent a lazy morning, rising late, dressing later and not descending until just after eleven o'clock knowing that the gentlemen would not call after such a late night. For it was a very late night or early morning for the ladies of Longbourn. Unlike the two gentlemen, the ladies had been required to stay up until the last of the guests had left. Jane was in the highest spirits that Elizabeth had seen in almost a year. She smiled more, even laughed on occasions and filled the rooms with a general sense of well being. Elizabeth herself was not so content. In fact her mind was in complete turmoil.

    At Pemberley Mr. Darcy had showed the utmost attention to her, with no sign of regret or censure. In fact had they remained there even one more day, she felt sure that something of a second offer could have ensued. Then came Lydia and Mr. Wickham but again, Mr. Darcy had proved himself removed from any condemnation of her family by resolving the situation to their advantage. She had written proof of his outstanding efforts. Yet she had seen him twice now and each time, nothing had resulted. He had withdrawn into himself, spoken little to anyone and especially not to her and had left with no word of coming again. All she had to hold onto was his look of yearning on departure both times. It was all simply impossible. She ate a late meal with Jane and then took off on an extended walk, supposedly to clear her head but hopefully to encounter the residents of Netherfield whom she knew would be out and about this morning.

    The gentlemen arrived early at the saddle maker and proved themselves difficult but worthy clients. Mr. Darcy advised his friend on the leathers he preferred and Mr. Bingley then had only to choose the embossing he wished. The style of saddle had been set but Mr. Darcy, aware that Mr. Bingley was not a natural horseman, recommended a slight variation in the shape of the groundseat. Miss Bingley had requested her brother have a new saddle made for her and it was decided by both men that a light yellow leather with a dark kid covering the tree would suit her. Mr. Darcy found the details a welcome distraction from the main topic on his mind and it was almost two hours before he returned to thoughts of Miss Bennet and Mr. Bingley.

    Their return to Netherfield took them through Meryton and although Mr. Bingley was anxious to dine there, Mr. Darcy felt it best to return home as the light had begun to fade quickly and any delay in their afternoon jaunt might mean a setback and an inability to visit Longbourn on the morrow. Thus after a quick respite at Netherfield they were off to the perimeter of the park to inspect the fences. Some fifty yards needed immediate replacement as the northern side of the fence was covered in a heavy green moss causing severe dry rot to infiltrate the timber railings. It was a productive day and a tiring one and both men felt the cramping that comes from sitting in a small curricle for many hours. After an early meal both retired to their own rooms.

    Early on Thursday morning, Mr. Darcy was delivered a message from his steward, Mr. Franklin, requesting his presence in town immediately. It appeared that a ship on its way to Italy, containing a large quantity of Mr. Darcy's woollen bales had been lost and the mill owner was requiring compensation for orders lost. It was extremely urgent business and it resulted in Mr. Darcy spending some time composing a reply to the message and securing his own travel plans for the following day. He had no choice but to return to town in the morning.

    By the time Mr. Bingley encountered his friend, Mr. Darcy's mood had soured considerably. He had reached a level of gruffness not seen by his friend since finding him in town the previous year. He was sullen, disagreeable and quite unbearable. Mr. Bingley kept his distance for most of the day and it was only some fifteen minutes after the dressing bell that he felt it auspicious to speak as he saw his friend enter the drawing room.

    'Your business does not suit you Darcy?'

    'Suit me? What a singular statement, Bingley. I never mind business. However this is not simply business. I have losses to make up. And there is the need to be in town.'

    'You must return?'

    'Yes, tomorrow. I do not think I will be back at Netherfield for some ten days.'

    'Oh Darcy, bother!'

    'More than bother, sir. I had intended my next trip to be for more desirable purposes.'

    'Indeed. Perhaps we could call tonight?'

    'No, Bingley. I will not have such a situation rushed. I cannot make an offer to a lady and then leave immediately.'

    'I am sure Miss Elizabeth would understand. Perhaps more so than you leaving with nothing said.'

    'It cannot be attempted, Bingley. I must deal with this first. When I return, there will be nothing to hold me back,' said Mr. Darcy with conviction.

    'I wish...' Mr. Bingley hesitated.

    'Bingley? You wish what?'

    'I ... I do think she has some feeling for me,' said Mr. Bingley quietly.

    Mr. Darcy sighed. He could not leave with this hanging over him. He knew it was to risk his friendship to say what he must but still it had to be done. His honour demanded it.

    'Bingley ... Charles. I have a confession to make.'

    'A confession? Of what?'

    'It is ... it is in regard to Miss Bennet.'

    'Oh Darcy, do you know something? Surely there is no other.'

    'There is no other, Charles. Do you remember our discussion in town? I think it was about ... sometime before Christmas last year.'

    'Darcy, you hardly expect me to forget it, do you? Your advice was well taken.'

    'Perhaps too well taken, my friend. I perhaps did you an injustice. You and Miss Bennet, that is.'

    'Darcy, what do you mean?' said Mr. Bingley, his mood becoming wary.

    'There is no way to ... I may have misread the lady.'

    'Misread? In what way? Say it Fitzwilliam. You know I cannot stand procrastination.'

    'And neither can I. What I am saying is that it may have been best if I had allowed you to come to your own decisions regarding Miss Bennet. My thoughts were not best expressed to you. I ... I regret influencing you in such a way, Charles.'

    'Are you saying that you think she held affection for me all along? That an offer would have been accepted?'

    'As you recall I was never completely satisfied that she would refuse you. My concern was her reasons for doing so, if she had accepted.'

    'You did state your opinion that way. You seemed unsure of her feelings. And that is what is changed?' Mr. Bingley was beginning to speak quite fast, his excitement growing.

    'Rather it has been explained to me. Albeit to say that I was wrong in stating any of my opinions to you. Miss Bennet is a lady of quiet moods and little animation and it is that which may have influenced my thoughts. However they should never have been expressed to you. I used our friendship ill, Charles.'

    'I must say that your condescension as to her position was quite beneath you, Fitzwilliam. However I do recall that I did not think your motives could be faulted. I do not think you used me ill, sir.'

    'And you, my friend, are worthy of a much greater companion than myself. I simply should not have interfered, Charles, and there is nothing more to be said. It was impertinent on my part and should not be easily forgiven.'

    'Darcy, are you saying this now because you feel that her opinion of me has changed?'

    Mr. Darcy smiled. 'I do think Miss Bennet is almost as much in love with you, Charles, as you are with her.'

    'Darcy!'

    Mr. Bingley walked over to his friend and hugged him with gusto. Unfamiliar with such a response, Mr. Darcy leaned back a little in reserve.

    'Bingley, you continue to astound me.' His face changed to one of extreme seriousness. 'There is something else I must tell you, Charles. And this cannot be mistaken as a symbol of our friendship.'

    'But first tell me what makes you think she loves me. I am unsure so often.'

    'I have seen it in her eyes on our visits. The lady is smitten.'

    'Darcy!'

    'Please Charles, I think you should keep your need for closeness for Miss Bennet.'

    'Perhaps but she is not here and you are,' said Mr. Bingley as he hugged his friend again.

    'Please Charles, let me finish. You may wish to withdraw your affection for me when I tell you.'

    'Go ahead,' said Mr. Bingley stepping back and turning to the table to pour two glasses of wine.

    'Charles, Miss Bennet was in town for almost three months.'

    'What ... when was she in town?'

    'She was with her aunt and uncle in Cheapside while you were in town.'

    'Did Miss Elizabeth tell you this? Oh if only I had known.'

    'No, Miss Elizabeth did not tell me this. I had the information ... suffice to say that I knew at the time and I did not tell you, Charles. I am heartily ashamed of myself.'

    Mr. Bingley's mood grew instantly sour. He glared at Mr. Darcy. 'Explain yourself, sir.'

    'There is nothing to explain. I had intelligence that Miss Bennet was with her relatives and I chose not to tell you. I understand that it was not my secret to keep. In fact it was not intended to be a secret. I cannot tell you what regret I have over this.'

    He paused, giving his friend time to absorb what he had just said. Mr. Bingley turned back to him in a most enraged manner.

    'You knew for three months that she was a simple carriage ride away and yet you allowed me to suffer the pain of...how did you know of her presence?'

    Mr. Darcy paused, considering the hurt involved if his friend knew that his sisters were intimately involved in the subterfuge. No, he must take this alone.

    'It came to me. That is all I can say. Is there any point in details, Charles? I will understand if you cannot find yourself able to forgive me,' said Mr. Darcy, his eyes lowered in remorse.

    Mr. Bingley snorted in rage. 'I cannot believe this of you Darcy! Might I ask why you decided not to tell me this? Did you think me unable to control myself? That I would run to her and beg for her on my knees. You are quite the most arrogant man I know. This is quite beyond the pall, sir!'

    'By the time...you seemed to be ... you can say nothing to me that I have not thought of myself over the last few months, Charles. I understand your anger and I will not enrage you more by staying. I will leave first thing in the morning.'

    He strode to the door and to his rooms, requesting his man to send up a tray. He could not inflict his presence on his friend after such a confession. He was preparing some papers regarding his business in town, when he heard a knock at the door.

    'Darcy? May I come in?' said Mr. Bingley.

    'Charles, of course.'

    He turned to face the wrath of his friend. However Mr. Bingley's face showed a lightened mood although hardly joyous.

    'You are packing,' said Mr. Bingley.

    'Yes, I must be off quite early. Once again, I must tell you how sorry I am for...'

    'I must say that it astounds me that you could keep such information to yourself, Darcy. I would never have thought it of you.'

    'I had never thought it of myself until more recently. I have found that ... I have endeavoured to avoid interference on such a level.'

    'And so you should. Darcy. Are you quite sure about Miss Bennet's feelings?'

    'As sure as I can be. I really should not say anymore. To do so would be to breach the promise I made to myself about interference.'

    'Oh forget that Darcy. Tell me all that you saw in her. I must have it all. All of it!' said Mr. Bingley with excitement.

    Mr. Darcy smiled. 'She became more and more talkative. She smiled too much. She blushed too much and she heard nothing of any other conversation than yours.'

    'She is an angel.'

    'Bingley ... Charles, you deserve nothing less.'

    'I have not quite forgiven you, Darcy, but I do appreciate your words.'

    'Thank you Charles. I can ask for no more. A lesser man would never speak to me again.'

    'I do think Miss Elizabeth is in love with you Fitzwilliam. I really do.'

    'I hope so, Charles. I have wanted nothing less for almost a year now. I cannot go on in this state.'

    'Do your business and return as soon as you can. I hope to have good news for you on your return. Excuse me. I must be off. I need to think,' said Mr. Bingley.

    He reached over and put out his hand to his friend. Mr. Darcy took it and they exchanged a strong and sincere handshake. As their hands parted, Mr. Darcy put his hand on Mr. Bingley's shoulder.

    'I wish you all the joy in the world, Charles. You are a man among men.'

    Mr. Bingley smiled back. 'And if you were less of a man I would have thrown you out of my house. I wish you could be here with me.'

    'As do I. But it must be done and you should do this alone. I might require your help with my schemes when I return. Goodbye Charles. Good luck!'

    'Goodbye Darcy. Ten days and I will expect you.'

    Mr. Bingley left Mr. Darcy's rooms in a brisk stride as his friend watched with delight. He turned to his bureau and continued preparations for his trip to town.

    The following morning Mr. Bingley heard his friend's carriage pull through the gates before eight o'clock and it was with great restraint that he delayed his own departure for Longbourn until ten o'clock. The ladies were all at work and only Elizabeth was surprised to see Mr. Bingley alone. His explanation of Mr. Darcy's absence was aimed at her with Mr. Bingley emphasising that it was only urgent business that would keep his friend from the district. It was sufficient to console her at least temporarily but it lowered her mood to no more than courtesy as she contemplated such a long time without him. Jane was all smiles again and Mr. Bingley seemed to want nothing more than to look at her.

    Mrs. Bennet asked him to dine with them but he had to refuse as he had an appointment with his steward over lunch. Mrs. Bennet was no less disappointed than Jane and made every attempt to coerce him into coming back that day or at the very least calling again the next. He readily agreed to a visit the following day. In fact it was just what he wanted.

    Meanwhile Mr. Darcy had arrived in town to find Mr. Franklin waiting for him. He read through the reports handed to him and listened to a detailed account of the events so far. Yes it would take at least ten days to sort this out. If only he could write to Elizabeth and tell her how much he missed her. Such silly rules of society to think it unseemly to write a letter to the woman he loved. Still it could not be done and he relied on his friend to relay his regrets in the best way possible. He had little sleep that night, as concern for the ship and its crew along with the complicated arrangements necessary to deal with the mill owner and others. He had a meeting the following morning with the ship owner.

    At Longbourn, the ladies were just deciding on their dress when word seeped through the house that Mr. Bingley was already there. Mrs. Bennet was in an instant uproar, seeking the maid to dress Jane first. Jane, unable to cope with her thoughts, suggested that Kitty be the one to greet Mr. Bingley, as she was already dressed. In her usual fashion of preference, Mrs. Bennet dismissed that idea as frivolous and pressed Jane to hurry. However she maintained her demeanour and dressed carefully and only descended when Mary was ready to accompany her.

    Mr. Bingley stayed all day, enjoying lunch with the family, walking with Mr. Bennet in the afternoon, and taking tea with ladies. By this time Mrs. Bennet was beside herself with grief that Jane had had no time alone with him. In an endeavour to achieve her wishes, she began a campaign to clear the room. Unable to find anything intelligent for her purposes, she chose simply to coerce the girls to leave by winking, signalling with her eyes and all in all embarrassing the whole family. Mr. Bingley did his best to ignore her machinations and as Kitty seemed incapable of understanding her either, she simply stood and asked Kitty to leave the room with her. That of course left Elizabeth as chaperone but she too was called by her mother some five minutes later and it was impossible for her to ignore it without seeming rude.

    As Elizabeth left, Mr. Bingley looked across at Jane who was finding it almost impossible to raise her eyes. He bent a little in order to catch them and as he did she looked up slightly and blushed profusely. He stayed near the window, still standing and unable to say much at all. Jane asked how his sisters were and he replied formally. He had so much to think of and despite his anger at Mr. Darcy he knew that some of his words were correct and he refused to submit to his usual impetuosity by making an offer immediately.

    The family returned to the room some time later to find the couple sitting apart, Jane hard at work and Mr. Bingley reading. Mrs. Bennet was frustrated beyond belief. She could not believe that he could be so charming and have such opportunity and yet remain silent. He stayed for supper despite having to bear Mrs. Bennet's silliness and innuendo for the whole time. In fact he found her remarks so boorish that they showed him Jane in an even better light. The night concluded with an invitation to visit the following day and join in a shooting party with Mr. Bennet.

    In town, Mr. Darcy had been occupied all day, meeting with the ship owner, determining the possibility of piracy as well as the expected loss of life and cargo. In all it was exhausting and most decidedly unnerving. He found himself much in need of companionship and no one else sprang to mind but Elizabeth. How wonderful it would be to have her beside him, to discuss such things and hear her opinions. Despite the tragedy of such an event, he felt sure that she would never shrink from his concerns in the way he had seen other ladies of his acquaintance. No she was always there, thinking well and avoiding flightiness. He ate alone, slept spasmodically and awoke to another round of business dealings.

    Elizabeth could now see that there was little to prevent the conclusion of the relationship between her sister and Mr. Bingley. Although Mr. Darcy was absent, she felt that it had little to do with the outcome as she felt Mr. Bingley had a new resolve, which could only have come from considerable discussion with Mr. Darcy. She slept with great contentment that Jane would soon be the happiest in her life. Her disappointment at Mr. Darcy's absence was not lessened but the time, at least, would be filled with happy occasions that might allow her some distraction.

    Mr. Bingley was early for the shoot and spent a long morning with Mr. Bennet. They returned for the midday meal and Mr. Bingley was of course invited to tea and it was after that, in the evening when Mrs. Bennet once again sought to leave her beloved Jane and Mr. Bingley alone. Elizabeth left them early on to write a letter to Charlotte and avoid any hint of cards and on her return, it was with great surprise that she saw Jane and Mr. Bingley alone and standing together near the fireplace. One glance told her that perhaps she should leave again but as that was impossible without seeming to be like her mother, she sat apart hoping that she could find a reason to leave within a few minutes. However it appeared that everything was already said as Mr. Bingley whispered to Jane and left the room quickly. Instantly Jane informed Elizabeth of his offer and the sisters embraced with the greatest affection. Jane spent no time in telling Elizabeth that Mr. Bingley had gone to her father, which meant she must rush to her mother.

    Elizabeth was still smiling joyously to herself when Mr. Bingley returned seeking Jane and while he waited impatiently, she had the pleasure of hearing his words of affection for her sister. He spoke with such emotion that she felt she might cry. It was all so very pleasing to know that not only was Jane so happy but that the family would be able to also benefit from such an attachment. After he left that night, she listened to the many compliments that each of her family now had for Mr. Bingley but what brought her the greatest delight was Jane's explanation of that lonely time in London. Mr. Bingley, it seemed, had said that he knew nothing of her visit, had been convinced that her feelings were not with him and that the whole event was an unfortunate mistake. Jane was too enraptured to think further of it all but for Elizabeth it spoke so highly of the friendship that existed between Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy. Never once had Mr. Bingley betrayed his friend and in doing so he had ensured that Jane and her whole family would have nothing with which to censure Mr. Darcy.

    That night Elizabeth slept well, content with her expectations for Jane and the esteem with which Mr. Bingley held his friend. She had never felt so proud of Mr. Darcy, for although he was heroic in his dealings with Mr. Wickham, nothing could surpass his gallantry in being open with his friend regarding her sister. To risk so much had proved him beyond reproach and she wondered how she could possibly wait over a week for his return. If only it was possible to write to him and tell her how proud she felt. But it was not to be. She had no more hand in this. It was all for him to proceed.

    The events of that day spread quickly through the district as marriage under any circumstances was news but when it involved the most prominent citizen then it was necessary for it to be discussed continually. And so it was the next morning when Mrs. Bennet called on Lady Lucas. She bounced in with just enough condescension to disturb her hostess and more than enough chatter to bore her.

    'And so you see Jane will have such pin money. And two carriages for sure. And of course, Netherfield is such a delight. Quite the best estate in the district. That is two daughters married and no doubt Lizzy will be next. With Mr. Bingley's connections there can be nothing else for it. He returned with Mr. Darcy, you know. Now there is the richest man in Derbyshire. He will be returning next week and he is only one of Mr. Bingley's friends to be sure. I cannot tell you how delighted I am for the girls. Lizzy is so close to Jane and I know she will be always there with her. It is only a matter of time before we are celebrating another marriage,' raved Mrs. Bennet with no time for breath or sense.

    Lady Lucas heard it all in stony silence. Although she had been happy with Charlotte's connection and looked forward to her residing at Longbourn one day, she could not help but feel some resentment at the Bennet girls' wealthy attachments. Even Mr. Wickham appeared to have a tidy fortune and now to hear that Elizabeth would soon be attached to Mr. Darcy. Now that was news and as soon as Mrs. Bennet had departed she wasted no time in writing to Charlotte with all the gossip of Meryton.

    Charlotte received the letter the following day and had great delight in reading it to her husband that evening. He would no doubt be pleased to hear of the connection of his benefactor to his cousin. Of course, Mr. Collins was delighted but mainly because it ensured a continual relationship between himself and Lady Catherine and he wasted no time the following morning before arriving at Rosings early to offer his congratulations.

    'Mr. Collins, what brings you here so early?' said Lady Catherine.

    'Oh madam, I come with the warmest greeting and the most sincere message of congratulation,' replied Mr. Collins.

    'For what, sir?'

    'I am most pleased to be among the first to offer my best wishes for the impending marriage of your nephew.'

    'My nephew? Have you heard that the Colonel is to be married? I have nothing of this? Where did you hear such a report? I must know immediately.'

    'Mr. Darcy, madam.'

    'Darcy! What ... Darcy is to be married?'

    'I ... I must apologise for knowing before you, madam. I received word of it from my wife's family who are, as you know, neighbours of Longbourn and quite often in their company.'

    'Make yourself clear, sir. Of what do you speak?'

    'Of the engagement of your nephew Mr. Darcy to Miss Elizabeth Bennet. She is Mrs. Collins's dearest friend and was here...'

    He got no further before Lady Catherine began mopping her brow and looking decidedly upset. Mr. Collins quickly assured her that he would not have mentioned it if he had known she was unaware of the situation. That was not enough to calm her and he left hurriedly, afraid that her mood was simply because he had been first with the news. The thought that Lady Catherine would find the association abhorrent had not reached him. Lady Catherine spent the afternoon bellowing at the servants in an attempt to ensure her speedy departure for Netherfield. If Mr. Collins information was true then it had to be dealt with immediately and it must be done in person. She would be off to speak to her nephew in the morning.

    In town, Mr. Darcy also received a letter. Mr. Bingley wrote him immediately to inform him of his offer and his joy at its acceptance. Mr. Darcy walked to the window of his library and looked out over the city and smiled. It was complete. His friend would have his angel forever. His mind drifted to her sister and the smile that she would be holding also. Her eyes would be alight with pleasure, the corners of her lips would be turned up and there would be a hint of her teeth between them. Oh if only he could have been there to see that joy for he found there was nothing that he needed more at this time, than the warmth of watching Elizabeth in the throes of happiness.

    No more than a week and he could resolve it one way or another. Since arriving in town he had barely risked thinking of success. It seemed that too much came along to keep them apart. She was quiet, withdrawn, silent even. She rarely showed happiness at seeing him. And so he retreated to his work, concealing his desire for her behind a façade of failing hope.

    Continued In Next Section

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