Behind the Scenes - Section IV

    By locarol

    Previous Section, Section IV, Next Section

    Chapter 20

    Posted on Thursday, 15 May 2003

    In Grosvenor Street, Miss Bingley's plans were going well. She had succeeded in separating her brother from Miss Bennet and Mr. Darcy from her sister. Now she moved to the next stage in her plan and was making a concerted effort to attach her brother to Miss Darcy. She had decided it would suit all round and would only bring herself into more constant contact with Mr. Darcy and she could not allow another occurrence like Hertfordshire to get in the way of her aspirations. She had received a letter from Jane in response to her own but thankfully it had been delivered while her brother was out and she had managed to ensure he knew nothing of it. She also took the step of not telling Mr. Darcy about Jane's letter. She wasn't quite sure why except that he seemed to exude very little satisfaction in his role in separating her brother from Miss Bennet and the less said about it the better.

    Meanwhile, Mr. Darcy, whether from guilt or pleasure, was keeping Mr. Bingley extremely busy during the day. That left Miss Bingley only the nights to ensure were filled with society worthy of her impressions of her own importance and her brother's.

    After a lunch and two dinners in one week, Mr. Darcy realised the thoughts running through Miss Bingley's mind regarding his sister and to say he was concerned was an understatement. His sister was in a delicate state due to his own lack of care the previous summer and he was not ready for her connection to anyone, particularly his friend, whom he knew to be in a state of depression himself.

    Indeed Mr. Bingley was not himself. However only his close friend would have known as Mr. Bingley was blessed with a spirit for life that was hard to suppress and even though his heart longed for Jane, his smile was never far from view. Mr. Darcy was well aware of the effect his words had had on his friend and each day brought further reflection on his motives. In such a position it is always necessary to justify one's actions and so he did, day after day, by the simple statement to himself that Miss Bennet did not love his friend. He made no concession for difference in temper or manner. He had lived in a world where women went after what they wanted and Miss Bennet's behaviour was so distant from any ladies of his society that he found it impossible to think she was in any way enamoured.

    Of course thoughts of Miss Bennet naturally led to thoughts of Elizabeth and in her he saw a lady much different from her sister. Her eyes lit up when he made a comment to her and her responses were provocative to say the least. Yes, Elizabeth was a lady who expressed her feelings openly. He felt great pain at leaving her but great relief to have escaped the danger she presented. She showed every sign of interest. She retorted to his every word, was determined to call him on anything that passed her mind and had obviously spent many a long hour assessing his character. He often wondered what she was thinking now that he had left and although he had the hope that her regret was just as deep as his he knew that she was sensible enough to know that his position in society prevented any union.

    At Longbourn, Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner accompanied by Jane had barely left for London, when they were blessed once more with a visit from Mr. Collins but this time it was only for a night before he took up residence in Lucas Lodge in preparation for his wedding. Elizabeth had little time for Charlotte during her courtship but rather than feel regret, she felt some relief as it would be difficult to see her friend in such a position. Days passed quickly and it was soon time for Charlotte to say her good-byes. She listened as Charlotte spoke of the wedding and their travel plans back to Kent and realised that she really hoped that Charlotte could find contentment in her choices. Charlotte showed some reticence about leaving her friends and family and was determined to ensure that she kept up correspondence with Elizabeth. She also knew that finances would not permit her to return to Hertfordshire very often and so asked Elizabeth to accompany her father and sister when they visited in March. Elizabeth could not refuse, of course, and although the prospect of residing in Mr. Collins' home was somewhat repugnant, she hoped by then that Charlotte would have moulded him into someone she could tolerate.

    The wedding took place and Elizabeth watched her friend leave to begin her new life. She knew in her heart that their relationship was changed forever and hoped that their first twenty years was enough to secure it from now on. To Elizabeth the world was changing and it did not leave her with a feeling of security.

    Immediately upon arrival in London, Jane had written to Elizabeth and informed her that she was to visit Miss Bingley on the following day. For Jane this was excitement indeed and she dressed carefully in the hope of seeing Mr. Bingley.

    Miss Bingley was sitting with her sister when her man announced the arrival of a visitor and offered Miss Bingley Miss Bennet's card. To say she was astonished was an understatement. She told him to escort Miss Bennet to the rear sitting room, a place her brother never visited. As soon as that was done she made enquiries about her brother's location and was informed that he was to be absent all morning. She was relieved but it was by then only one half hour before noon so she knew she had to handle Miss Bennet quite quickly. After a quick consultation, the Bingley sisters went to greet their guest.

    'Miss Bennet, how delightful. And pray, what brings you to London?'

    'I hope my visit is not inconvenient but I only found out yesterday that my aunt was to visit in this part of town. I am staying with her in Cheapside.'

    'Oh that aunt, of course,' replied Miss Bingley.

    'Are they your only relations in town?' asked Mrs. Hurst.

    'Yes they are. Mr. Gardiner is my mother's brother. I think I mentioned them when visiting Netherfield.'

    'Oh you might have. Such details quite escape my mind. We are so happy to see you Miss Bennet. However we must make our excuses. We have a luncheon appointment and must leave before noon. Can we call you a carriage?'

    Jane immediately felt their rudeness Her only hope was that Miss Bingley was indeed in a hurry and that her return visit would be longer and more intimate. She had no choice but to leave immediately and as her aunt was not due to pick her up for at least half an hour she walked to the nearby park and sat alone with the servant until she saw the carriage. She was in a miserable mood when her aunt arrived and nothing that she could say would raise Jane's spirits.

    It was a short time past noon when Mr. Bingley returned in company with Mr. Darcy and at their arrival, Miss Bingley and her sister exchanged glances, both showing relief at the timing. Upon enquiry they discovered that the gentlemen were not to join them for lunch but were intending an afternoon in the library on business and they moved there almost immediately after greeting the ladies.

    'So Charles, what is it that you wanted to show me?'

    'Not show you, as much as discuss with you, Darcy. I have the lease on Netherfield.'

    'Hmmm.'

    'And I cannot return, at least not yet.' His mind seemed to drift off, leaving Mr. Darcy to ponder once more on his actions.

    'You were saying Charles?'

    'I think we should take a trip to Scotland.'

    'You have business in Scotland?'

    'Ah, no, I thought we could try for game.'

    'Bingley, what are you talking about?'

    'A trip.'

    'Obviously, but why Scotland? It is winter. I can think of nothing more abhorrent than travelling to Scotland in winter.'

    'I feel the need to be moving, Darcy.'

    'Charles, I understand your need to be occupied but if you merely accept all the invitations I saw in the drawing room, your time will be fully taken up.'

    'I am sure they are just invitations for Caroline.'

    'And I am sure they are not.'

    'Do you intend to accept all of your invitations, including the ball at St. James'?'

    Darcy pondered that question for some minutes before replying.

    'I really have no choice. I cannot spend my time away from society when Georgiana is about to enter it. I would have her come out this season but she wishes some more time. Still I must do my duty.'

    'There will be dancing and good company.'

    'You see, Bingley, your spirits are up again already. You are looking forward to a ball,' replied Mr. Darcy. 'Now how about billiards as you seem to really have no business to discuss.'

    'You do need the practice, man. You have yet to beat me convincingly. However, my spirits are not raised because of a ball. In fact they are not raised at all. There has been no word from Miss Bennet, Darcy.'

    Mr. Darcy immediately felt relief, as much for himself as for his friend. He wanted no further temptation from Hertfordshire and correspondence from there would force him to re-evaluate his actions.

    'No comment, man?' asked Mr. Bingley.

    'No comment. What can I say that I have not already spoken to you in detail. I wish it were not so.'

    'You sound almost exactly as I feel inside when you say that, Darcy. Perhaps we should return to Netherfield.'

    'For what purpose, Charles, for what purpose. Miss Bennet has not written to your sisters so she obviously feels no need to continue the relationship.'

    'Perhaps she feels it is not her place to write to them. I should ask Caroline to write to her. Yes, perfect. And a reply will indicate how she feels about my returning. Do you want word of the rest of the family, Darcy? I could ask Caroline to mention them specifically.'

    'Charles, you do not have to do any bidding for me. I have told you before. I have left Hertfordshire and anything there that might have held my interest.'

    'I have never known a man so expert at hiding his feelings. I often wonder what brought you to that point, Darcy.'

    'I often wonder myself, Charles. It is a mystery to many, no doubt. Now about that billiard game. I am feeling a little cold and a game would warm me up.'

    'There seems to be something sad in the fact that two men of wealth and reasonable good looks should be warmed by a game of billiards,' replied Mr. Bingley.

    Mr. Darcy chuckled as he followed his friend to the billiard room.

    As the weeks passed in Hertfordshire, Elizabeth was feeling the confinement of winter. The country held few activities during the colder months and although Elizabeth enjoyed playing the pianoforte, she had little opportunity, as it was Mary's domain most days. She patiently waited for news from her sister and when it did arrive and seemed long she hoped it was filled with good news.

    However, the letter was the saddest Elizabeth had ever received. Jane recounted her visit to Miss Bingley and her subsequent rudeness and then continued on with an account of the return visit. They waited some days before arriving and when they did they were condescending and showed no preference for continuing the relationship. Jane was devastated. It was the confirmation that she had hoped would never come. There was no mention of Mr. Bingley wishing to see her yet he must know she was in town after her visit to his home. Very rarely did Elizabeth hear Jane express such emotion as she did in that letter and it brought to her such a determined dislike of all the residents of Netherfield that she found it hard to restrain herself.

    Jane's letter was followed by one from her aunt expressing sadness for Jane but also reminding Elizabeth of her promise to be on guard with Mr. Wickham. This made Elizabeth smile because his apparent preference for her had lasted only a short time after her aunt's departure. It seemed that his attention was now with another lady of more considerable income. Elizabeth felt no great emotion one way or another about his change. She saved all her intense feeling for others who could cause such pain to her sister. She was always ready to express her talent for character study in others but failed to see that her indifference to Mr. Wickham's change of partiality contrasted vastly with her intense dislike of Mr. Darcy. In one she felt nothing lost, in another she felt a passionate feeling of absence in her life. She had no one to argue with, to find too proud and too reserved. In other words, she unconsciously missed the challenge of Mr. Darcy in her life.

    In London, it was the evening of the ball at St. James' and both the gentlemen had just entered the room. There were immediately noticed by all the single ladies present as they were indeed good looking and together accounted for a considerable amount of fortune. Mr. Bingley, although in deep depression about losing Jane, was not a man to spend time in contemplation and within a short time had secured several dances for himself. There was one lady in particular, Miss Favish, whose hair was the exact colour of Jane's and who he could not resist requesting the first set with.

    He watched his friend withdraw to the side of the room, determined to offer no hope to any lady present. The ladies, in fact, were quite frustrated with Mr. Darcy. It seems no matter how hard they tried they could not win his attention for more than a few minutes. It was while he was daydreaming, that Mr. Darcy noticed a new lady enter the room. She was the wife of an old school friend of his but until now he had never met her. His friend, Mr. Humphrey, came over and introduced her to his friend. Her name was Maryanne and within minutes Mr. Darcy was lost again in his feelings for Elizabeth. This lovely lady was bright, intuitive and smart and watching the affection she shared with her husband brought a wave of pain up through his chest.

    Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley left the ball filled with emotions brought on by society with ladies. Rather than feel revived by the experience, they were both drawn back to previous and much happier times. Upon arrival home, Mr. Darcy stayed for a late supper with his friend, as sleep was impossible at this point. They were together in the drawing room as Mr. Bingley poured the brandy.

    'Well, that is over.,' stated Mr. Darcy firmly.

    'Hmmm, and we are none the worse. You did not dance, Darcy.'

    'Bingley, I always continue to wonder at your surprise at my not dancing.'

    'But you do not dislike it, I know that.'

    'No, in the right instance, I do not dislike it. It is just that I find it an occupation that should be savoured.'

    'As the only time I have seen you dance in the last six months, with anyone other than my sisters, was at Netherfield and with Miss Elizabeth, I am to assume that you savoured that particular occurrence.'

    'You may assume anything you like, Bingley. It is no up to me to dictate your assumptions.

    'Or to contradict them, it seems.'

    A long night at a ball requires the guests to need a short period of privacy on their return home and Mr. Darcy took this opportunity for his escape.

    'You must excuse me, Bingley. I will return in a short while.'

    Mr. Darcy left the drawing room and was walking towards the staircase, when he overheard Miss Bingley talking to her sister in the library.

    '...and at least we knew she would never turn up there. I am sure she would have returned to Hertfordshire by now.'

    Mr. Darcy immediately walked to the door.

    'I am sorry to admit overhearing you, Miss Bingley, but to whom were you referring?'

    'Referring, sir?'

    'Yes, regarding her return to Hertfordshire.'

    Miss Bingley rose and closed the door behind Mr. Darcy.

    'Jane Bennet has been in town and we were just discussing the....'

    'Miss Bennet has been in London? And you did not tell me or your brother?'

    'Mr. Darcy, you must be aware that my brother is far from regretting her loss and it seemed it would bring him unnecessary pain to mention her visit.'

    'You assume a lot, madam. When did she visit?'

    'Oh it was weeks ago now. She was only in town for a short while. It was purely a visit of courtesy. She did not even mention my brother.'

    'And you are sure she has left?'

    'I assume she has as she has not made any contact for some time. And we have not seen her in society.'

    'You and I both know that the possibility of seeing her in society such as ours is almost impossible. Tell me, do you feel she was regretting our departure from Netherfield? Surely the topic arose in conversation.'

    'It did not. She called and was here for no more than ten minutes. She had some engagement. It was without doubt a call of politeness and nothing more. I think it inadvisable to tell my brother of it as it will only cause him greater pain.'

    'You may be right. I wish I had been informed of this earlier. Excuse me.'

    Mr. Darcy completed his ablutions and returned to the drawing room where his friend was waiting.

    'Darcy, I hope my remark on your dancing has not upset you.'

    'No, Bingley. I have other things on my mind. Tell me, my friend, do you feel some improvement in the weeks since our conversation?'

    'I suppose I do. I think of her only ten times an hour instead of twenty. Heh, time and absence does heal a heart somewhat. I will recover. However I am still bewildered about her feelings for me. I had no doubt that she was as in love with me as I was with her. What I am left with is doubt in my own emotions. I have deceived myself and I cannot let that happen again.'

    'Self-deception is a great asset sometimes. How long it can last is for each man to decide.'

    'Indeed, Darcy, indeed.'

    'Charles, how long are you in town? You mentioned a trip to see your aunt.'

    'Hmmm, Aunt Lucy in Derbyshire. Why don't you come with me?'

    'I am sufficiently occupied with my own aunt and Fitzwilliam will be in town next week. You have yet to meet him.'

    'We are always travelling in opposite directions. Perhaps next year. Are you for Kent?'

    'In two weeks. Our annual visit, obligatory,' replied Mr. Darcy.

    Do you wish to stay here tonight? I'll call my man.'

    'No, Charles. I need my own bed. Goodnight.'

    Mr. Bingley walked his friend to the carriage and Mr. Darcy retreated willingly into its darkness. He needed some time to indulge in his own self-deception and rid himself of the reminders that the evening brought.

    Chapter 21

    Posted on Tuesday, 20 May 2003

    Mr. Bingley did in fact ask his sister to write to Miss Bennet. However she wrote the direction quite inexpertly and then, because of her frantic round of social engagements, failed to get it to the post for some weeks. In fact by the time she found the letter in her reticule she decided it was so out of date that it would be rude to send.

    Thus Mr. Bingley left for Derbyshire with a resolution in his mind that his friend had been right. There had been no contact with or from Miss Bennet in three months and that surely was enough time to settle things. His disappointment was severe but as he had the wonderful ability to occupy his physical being with pleasurable activities and avoid the depths of solitude that enhance such feelings, he managed to move on with his life. He did not forget Jane. In fact every woman he saw he compared to her but a man convinced that his lady does not care for him, finds it easier to withdraw.

    Mr. Darcy, on the other hand, had no such fate. He had seen and felt Elizabeth's regard for him and so leaving her behind was a much more difficult task. In fact it had yet to be achieved. He could not smile just because things around him were good and he could not distract his mind by physical challenges. He was forever cursed with the mind of the clever and there was no latitude for forgetfulness.

    After two more weeks of Miss Bingley's machinations between her brother and Miss Darcy, it was a relief for both gentlemen when Mr. Bingley set off to visit his aunt. She was in fact his only living relative of the past generation and he felt a great obligation to ensure her welfare. Miss Bingley and the Hursts soon followed him as the weather was changing slightly and they could not bare the odours of summer in town.

    Only two days after Mr. Bingley left, Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam, Mr. Darcy's cousin arrived at his doorstep. The Colonel was a man of spirit and adventure, not considered handsome but blessed with a wonderful feel of exuberance. His connection to Mr. Darcy was also friend as they shared many common interests. He was also joint guardian with Mr. Darcy of his sister which meant they had shared much heartache over her previous problems.

    Miss Darcy was a little relieved herself to see the Bingleys disappear from town as although she was occupied with her studies, in particular her penchant for Italian, she found their continual invitations upsetting. She had spent most of autumn working hard and avoiding social outings as much as possible and although she was a little upset at her brother's long stay at Netherfield, it did give her time for contemplation and solitude. She was an extremely shy girl whose already limited social ease was now almost destroyed by her mistaken trust in a family friend. The arrival of the Colonel meant she was surrounded by the two people she loved most in the world.

    Mr. Darcy was concerned for Georgiana. She was more withdrawn than ever and although he accepted similar traits in himself, it was painful for him to see it replicated or more in his sister. After spending time in Hertfordshire surrounded by ladies of different temperaments he felt the isolation in which his sister resided. She had few friends of her own age to chatter with and those that she did have were already looking towards marriage. Miss Darcy filled her life with music and study rather than enjoy what should be the happiest and most obligation-free time of her life.

    Upon the arrival of the Colonel, plans were instantly made to fill every spare minute she had as he was not a man to allow her to meditate on past mistakes of which he and Mr. Darcy felt equal blame. Thus dinner the first night was a whirl of talk.

    'Tell me Georgiana, what has your brother been dragging you to while I've been away. No doubt, night after night of boring dinners.'

    'Absolutely not, cousin. My brother has spent a great deal of time with me. We have visited the cabinetmaker where he ordered even more glorious things for my sitting room at Pemberley. He also took me to the milliner one afternoon.'

    'Good god, Darcy, you must be ill. You at a milliner! What is the world coming to!'

    'I assure you, Fitzwilliam, that I am well acquainted with the needs of a lady.'

    'And when did this happen? Last time we were together, your interest in anything female began and ended with your new mare.'

    'You tease him far too much, cousin. My brother has changed a little over the last few months. I suppose I am to blame for that.'

    'Nonsense, dear,' replied Mr. Darcy. 'You are not to blame for anything. We should not have left you alone for such a long time. It will not happen again.'

    'Absolutely! Darcy and I intend to make you our first object from now on.'

    'Oh please do not dwell on me. I cannot abide you both hovering over me. I know that I have withdrawn somewhat but I just need some time. I promise that next season I will be ready to engage in more activities.'

    'Next season will be time for you to come out. You know Lady Catherine has plans afoot,' replied Mr. Darcy.

    'Please brother, do not remind me. I wish she would concentrate on Anne and leave me alone.'

    'Ah, but remember she is determined that Anne marry your brother here. So having that settled you are the only lady left for her to concern herself with.'

    'I assure you that I will never marry my cousin Anne. Neither she nor I have any interest in her mother's plans and nothing she says or does will change that.'

    'Well if that is settled, what would you like to do tomorrow, Georgiana? I am at your disposal all day.'

    'I have my Italian lesson in the morning.'

    'Yes and what is this sudden preference for Italian?'

    'I am hoping my brother will take me to Italy next year.'

    'Darcy? Off on a tour, man?'

    'That has already been accomplished as you know. This would be to show my sister the joys of the continent. However I will not promise a trip until we hear what comes of the French.'

    'True. We have another regiment leaving next month,' replied Colonel Fitzwilliam.

    'Is the loss great?'

    'Great enough. To lose one's fellow soldiers is always a sadness. Now, cousin, after Italian what shall we do?'

    He smiled at Miss Darcy who responded similarly.

    'I am so happy to see you smile so, cousin. It is over, you know. We will not allow him near you ever again.'

    'I know that. Perhaps we could go to the museum. I have heard there is a new portrait exhibition.'

    'Then the museum it is. Darcy, I hope you will join us.'

    'I will indeed.'

    Dinner was concluded with amusing tales by the Colonel of the awful food served up in the officers' mess when a new cook was installed and it was past ten when Georgiana made her excuses and retired. The two gentlemen moved to the library for discussions that were best kept between themselves. The Colonel began immediately.

    'So you tell me you saw him while you were in Hertfordshire.'

    'Yes, he appeared quite suddenly, after joining the regiment settled there for the winter.'

    'And what was his reaction to seeing you?'

    'He withdrew from any social occasions that would have brought us together. However his tongue is still as loose as ever. His tales of woe have been spread far and wide.'

    'And did you counter them?'

    'No, I ignored anything to do with him or his tales. It was impossible for me to counter him without disclosing details. I did however mention his inability to be trusted to one person I met there.'

    'One person? Obviously a lady or you would not be so obtuse. What brought you to warn her of him?'

    'She seemed somewhat flattered by his admiration. But I am sure it was short lived. The lady in question is definitely not easily led.'

    'And is that why you returned to London so soon? To rid yourself of his company?'

    'Ah no. That was to assist my friend Bingley in a matter of the heart.'

    'Darcy! You assisting in matters of the heart. Georgiana was right, you have changed.'

    'It was actually to assist him to heal his heart. The match was not suitable.'

    'On what grounds?'

    'A number. First there were consequence and connections or her lack thereof and secondly, and perhaps more importantly when it comes to my friend, there was the matter of her feelings, or lack thereof. I was not convinced of her commitment.'

    'That is a grand task to undertake man. Did you state such to Bingley?'

    'Yes, and I am glad to say he listened and took my advice in good faith. I care greatly for his well-being and it gives me immense satisfaction to have resolved the matter so well.'

    'I must be careful to whom I lose my heart when you are around, my friend. You seem expert in such dealings.'

    'Only careful, Richard. We cannot allow our friends to be hurt.'

    'And we cannot allow ourselves to interfere beyond what is required of good friendship.'

    'It was in this regard that I spoke to him.'

    'Then good for you. Now tell me, when have we to be for Kent?'

    'Lady Catherine expects us by Easter.'

    'Perfect. I will have time to spend with Georgiana as well as catch up on a few acquaintances I have in London.'

    'Ladies, no doubt.'

    'Ladies, indeed, Darcy. What is London in spring without ladies!'

    At Longbourn, Elizabeth had managed to survive the dark months of the year and was settling her plans to visit Charlotte. She had the fortune of travelling with Sir William and Mariah, Charlotte's younger sister, but as the trip was so long, they would spend a night in London, which would enable Elizabeth to see Jane and assess her well-being.

    Leaving Longbourn did not give her much pain except for the loss of her father's company. He would miss her and thus she would feel his loss on her travels. The thought of spending time with Mr. Collins was an added bore but hopefully she could manage long walks alone and long talks with her friend. Thus she bade her adieus including those to Mr. Wickham who found delight in relating to her every detail of Lady Catherine de Bourgh and the remainder of the Darcy family. He filled her with his version of Miss Darcy's temperament which was almost as severe as her brother's, a delightful tidbit that Mr. Darcy was actually engaged to Miss de Bourgh and a quite hilarious account of Lady Catherine's pedantry.

    He was such pleasing company that Elizabeth could not help but smile at his description, knowing full well it was exactly as she would have seen it. In all her time with him, he had shown himself to be the epitome of charm and good manners and those, together with his handsomeness, blinded her to any lack of discretion he might portray. She left feeling sure that she could meet no man more delightful.

    Thus she set off with Sir William and Mariah and within half an hour was bored with their conversation, as unfortunately she had known Sir William too long to find any pleasure from his silly remarks. Luckily the first part of the trip was short and due to an early start, Elizabeth was with Jane by noon. She immediately saw that Jane was not so distressed as she imagined and seemed to have resumed some health after her disappointment. The Gardiner children were at first shy of their cousin but it only took a few minutes for them to begin the antics of all children who have visitors to show off in front of.

    Like all young ladies in their early twenties, Jane and Elizabeth shopped, laughed, and talked their way through the afternoon and spent at least an hour discussing what to wear to the theatre that night. To enjoy such an outing was rare and in town it was exceedingly special, if for no other reason that to see what the other ladies were wearing and who might attend that they knew from gossip. When it came to seating, Elizabeth made sure she was next to her aunt so that she could make discreet enquiries about Jane. She was upset to hear that although Jane seemed in good spirits it was a continual struggle for her to appear so and she actually spent most of her time in solitude. Of course this immediately put Elizabeth in a mood of frustration with everything Bingley and especially Darcy. She was determined to think that without Mr. Darcy's interference, Mr. Bingley would have stayed. She still felt Mr. Bingley's weakness in all of this but not everyone was strong at withstanding such an onslaught.

    Mrs. Gardiner then returned the quizzing with a request for details on Mr. Wickham and his new interest, a Miss King who had inherited some fortune. Elizabeth seemed quite content with the thought that he might choose fortune over love. In fact she found no blame in him at all for such a mercenary decision. It was a strange fact indeed that she should blame Mr. Darcy for influencing his friend to do exactly the same. Whether Elizabeth unconsciously felt that the rich had less obligation in their choices is something we will never know. All that can be said is that Mr. Wickham could do as he wished while Mr. Bingley should do as she wished.

    Mrs. Gardiner, who had the distance to be impartial, noted that Mr. Wickham showed no preference for Miss King until the time of her inheritance. They then began a small dispute regarding such behaviour and although Elizabeth then conceded that he could be considered mercenary, she also wished it known that she thought Miss King foolish. Mrs. Gardiner would not let her off that easily and stated her opinion that she at least wanted to think well of Mr. Wickham especially as he came from Derbyshire. That of course gave Elizabeth the chance to express her dislike of any gentlemen from Derbyshire and indeed some of their close friends. In fact she expressed her happiness at the opportunity to spend some time in the company of a man impossible to like and too stupid to think about. Her aunt laughed at her irritation with life but managed to lift her spirits with an invitation to a rather long tour of The Lakes during summer. Elizabeth's excitement was extreme. She needed the distraction of travel to rid herself of her mood. She was sick of all men and had no desire to like any of them.

    Elizabeth had really never been anywhere without her family. Her longest trips had been to town with her aunt and usually Jane but this trip to see Charlotte was hers alone. She felt renewed freedom to think and act as she pleased and with her summer planned as well, she left London ready to enjoy herself. Seeing Charlotte so happy to see her was the final reward. She even endured the minute description of the parsonage by Mr. Collins and noted with relief that Charlotte seemed deaf to any comments that might embarrass her. He followed his narrative on the interior of the house with a tour and extensive oration on his garden, its various species including detail into cultivation of each, and ending the whole thing with a pause to enjoy the view of Rosings Park, the home of Lady Catherine de Bourgh.

    After satisfactory praise at the view, the ladies escaped back to the house leaving Sir William to endure the further tour by his son in law. There Charlotte showed her friend the house as she saw it and Elizabeth found it smaller than she expected but well set up and very much cared for. At dinner, Mr. Collins managed to keep the subject completely on his benefactor and impress upon his guests the honour they were to receive from her. By retirement, Elizabeth had decided on her occupations for the visit and was happy to know that she could find extensive walking paths to explore and quite extensive time alone with her friend while her husband was involved in parish business and his garden.

    The next day, just after noon, Elizabeth was preparing to begin her first walk when she was summoned by Mariah to come downstairs immediately. She rushed down thinking something was wrong only to find that a carriage was stationary at the gate with Mr. Collins and Charlotte greeting the occupants. Looking out Elizabeth saw two ladies and Mariah informed her they were Miss de Bourgh and her companion. Mariah was surprised that Miss de Bourgh was so fragile looking but Elizabeth only saw and thought of one person when she saw her, Mr. Darcy. The thought of such a sickly lady being the betrothed of the man she was determined to hate brought such delight that she expressed her thoughts openly. Both Mariah and Sir William looked at her with a little puzzlement, as they had no idea of what she spoke. However, she took great delight in gloating on this topic for the rest of the day and was not distracted from it by the news that they were all invited to dinner at Rosings the following evening.

    After enduring the fuss of Mr. Collins regarding the time, their mode of dress, their deportment and the way to address her, the visitors were confronted with Lady Catherine. Elizabeth found her exactly as described by Mr. Wickham and managed to find a resemblance to Mr. Darcy, despite her desire not to think of him. Her daughter was even less appealing than on first sight and appeared quite unwell. She spoke little, enjoyed nothing and spent the evening being fussed over by her companion and ignored by her mother. After the obligatory admiration of the view, they were served a grand meal of which Elizabeth could find no fault. After retiring to the drawing room, however, Elizabeth found herself the subject of conversation as Lady Catherine interrogated her on all her family's details. Elizabeth, being Elizabeth, had no qualms in direct answers and additional offerings of information that suited her. She did however balk at stating her age until her hostess made it a point of requiring an answer. The dinner was repeated a number of times and the evenings generally ended in cards which were always terminated abruptly by Lady Catherine and a little earlier if she was losing.

    Sir William left after a week and the pattern of her stay changed little and Elizabeth found it very pleasing. Although she had to endure the command of Lady Catherine in all aspects of life including the weather, she found the twice-weekly dinners to be just sufficient change in routine to be diverting. Apart from that, she was free to enjoy the company of her friend and discover her favourite walk around Rosings Park. It was along a quiet grove that seemed to be of no interest to anyone else and was beyond range of Lady Catherine's observation. She found she needed the time to herself for another reason. She had been informed by Lady Catherine at the second dinner, that her nephew would be visiting over Easter. When Elizabeth expressed her knowledge of Mr. Darcy, in fact her frequency in company with him, the lady was most put out. He was a great favourite of his aunt and Elizabeth found herself a little uneasy at the thought of encountering him again especially as it was their first association since the residents of Netherfield had left. She was determined to discover how much he had influenced his friend in that regard and as a result she chose to be not entirely upset at his impending arrival. In fact, she resolved to also find amusement watching his interaction with the very dull Miss de Bourgh. Yes it would be quite diverting.

    Thus she spent the first two weeks of her stay, content with occupations, happy spending time with her friend and unexpectedly interested with the impending visit of Mr. Darcy.

    As for the gentleman himself, he was left with no time to himself with his cousin in town. There were lunches at the club, shopping with Georgiana, dinners with friends and various evenings where ladies were present. However, despite the varied company that the Colonel seemed to find, Mr. Darcy's mood did not alter. He had only left Elizabeth barely three months and he had discovered during that time that the danger he had envisaged by staying in Hertfordshire was far greater than he could have imagined as it had only lessened to the extent that he could now spend at least one hour without thoughts of her. Indeed, the distraction of Kent would be welcome.

    Chapter 22

    Posted on Sunday, 25 May 2003

    The day that Mr. Darcy was due to arrive began to loom large in Elizabeth's life and it was not only due to own her feelings of discomfort and dislike. She had the additional response of Lady Catherine who made him the topic of every single conversation as well as Mr. Collins' recital of his benefactor's comments as well as his own. The actual day of Mr. Darcy's arrival, Mr. Collins spent the morning on watch for the carriage. He made sure that the ladies knew immediately of its arrival by scurrying back to the parsonage with details of everything from the luggage to the footmen. Of course he gave the visitor no time to settle in or choose the time for greeting by being an early morning arrival the next day. Nothing Charlotte could say would deter him from this.

    Mr. Collins was shown into the breakfast room where Lady Catherine was enjoying the company of not only Mr. Darcy but his cousin as well. Mr. Collins was introduced to Colonel Fitzwilliam who immediately found the rector as supercilious as his cousin had described him. After the formal introductions and extensive bowing on Mr. Collins' part, he began to fill them in on his change of circumstances.

    'Mr. Darcy, sir, I am in no doubt that Lady Catherine has informed you of my marriage since you left Hertfordshire.'

    'She has indeed, sir,' said Mr. Darcy returning to his coffee.

    'Mrs. Collins is anxious to meet you again, sir. We would be honoured, greatly honoured indeed, if you would condescend to pay us a visit at Hunsford Cottage.'

    'I am sure we will find the time during our stay, sir.'

    'We are at the moment blessed with the addition of guests from Hertfordshire who will no doubt add to your pleasure in calling on us.'

    'My aunt did mention that your wife's family was visiting.'

    'And also....' Before he could finish Lady Catherine interrupted him with a wave of her hand.

    'Miss Bennet.'

    'Miss Bennet?' repeated Mr. Darcy. Turning to Mr. Collins he said, 'I was not aware Miss Bennet was at Hunsford.'

    'As a dear friend of my wife, I felt it desirous that she spend some time with her.'

    Mr. Darcy instantly went from a faint feeling of guilt where Jane was concerned to one of deep emotion. The only dear friend that Mrs. Collins had was Elizabeth.

    'You mean Miss Elizabeth Bennet.'

    'Yes,' replied Lady Catherine. 'Miss Elizabeth Bennet, quite outspoken young woman. Nothing like her friend.'

    Mr. Darcy's chest began to pound and he felt warm in his jacket despite the remaining frost.

    'I look forward to renewing our acquaintance, sir,' he replied in a voice as steady as he could manage.

    His cousin looked across at him, aware of his unease. A quick glance at Lady Catherine ensured that she was quite unhappy about his cousin being acquainted with Miss Bennet. Unable to resist knowing more, the Colonel immediately came up with a plan.

    'Darcy, why don't we return with Mr. Collins and visit the ladies now? What better way to walk off this marvelous breakfast. Shall we be off?'

    Lady Catherine was not at all pleased and endeavoured to find a reason why they should not walk out. However the Colonel was determined, Mr. Collins was delighted and Mr. Darcy felt compelled.

    Charlotte had been tidying in her husband's room when she saw the gentlemen approach and ran to Elizabeth, praising her with the compliment of such an early visit from Mr. Darcy. Elizabeth had barely time to deny such favours when the door opened and he was in front of her.

    'Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr. Darcy, may I present my wife, Mrs. Collins. My dear, may I introduce Colonel Fitzwilliam, the younger son of Lord Matlock, and cousin to Mr. Darcy,' said Mr. Collins to his wife. 'Mr. Darcy, may I present my wife, Mrs. Collins.'

    The Colonel bowed and offered his greeting to Mrs. Collins but had his eyes on the two other ladies in the room.

    'Colonel and Mr. Darcy, may I present Miss Lucas, younger sister of my dear wife, and Miss Elizabeth Bennet. Mariah, Miss Bennet, may I introduce Colonel Fitzwilliam, the younger son of Lord Matlock, and cousin to Mr. Darcy,' repeated Mr. Collins. 'But of course you already know the ladies, Mr. Darcy. You must accept my apologies for introducing them again but no doubt you will overlook my ineptitude in favour of my manners and accept my apology.'

    Colonel Fitzwilliam looked in amazement as Mr. Collins rambled on. A quick glance at his cousin showed that it had gone unnoticed. He seemed lost in thought.

    The Colonel immediately turned to Elizabeth and offered a very gentlemanly-like bow, followed by a less formal one to Miss Lucas. Mr. Darcy turned to her without any noticeable change of expression but as he took a deep breath of courage, her scent filled his lungs and drifted through his body and mind and in that instant he knew that he was no further from forgetting her than he was three months ago. A far too familiar chill ran through him. In fact the wave of emotion was greater than he had ever felt before and he frowned at the intensity of feeling she brought to him. She saw his stern expression as he bowed without a word to her and she returned his bow, similarly silent. He immediately moved away, unable to look her in the eyes.

    'Miss Bennet, what pleasure it is to meet you. It seems that our visit is timely as you and Darcy are already acquainted, I hear,' said the Colonel.

    'We are indeed, Colonel.'

    They both looked across at Mr. Darcy who felt the need to speak but chose Mrs. Collins as the safer option.

    'This is a very fine house, Mrs. Collins. You have indeed improved it. And Mr. Collins I see you have been working hard on the garden. Very fine indeed,' said Mr. Darcy.

    Before Mr. Collins could formulate a long enough reply, Mr. Darcy sat and looked down, obviously not willing to engage in any further talk. The Colonel and Elizabeth looked back at each other and continued.

    'Do you reside in this district, Colonel?'

    'Oh no, our family is from Derbyshire, about 40 miles from Pemberley, Darcy's estate.'

    'And do you come here often, Colonel?' asked Elizabeth.

    'At least once a year with Darcy. Lady Catherine enjoys having her nephews at her beck and call. And we do enjoy Kent. The riding and hunt is superb. Have you had time to explore much of Rosings Park?'

    'A little. I would not like to intrude on Lady Catherine's hospitality too much.'

    'Be not afraid, Miss Bennet, she is rarely out of doors,' said the Colonel smiling.

    Elizabeth found him extremely pleasing and easy to talk to and was particularly animated in her replies. During this Mr. Darcy sat and listened, trying desperately to ward off the feeling of danger that enveloped him. His time in Elizabeth's company in Hertfordshire had caused him increasing discomfort but this second encounter brought a fear within him that he felt almost impossible to control even at this first meeting. He had to speak to her or the others would think it strange. Yet to engage her in conversation meant he had to look in her eyes and yet retain his composure. He had never known such turmoil in his life. He suddenly stood and walked towards her taking Elizabeth as much by surprise as himself.

    'Miss Bennet, may I enquire after your family? Are they all well?'

    'Indeed they are sir, thank you.'

    She waited for a reply but none was forthcoming and seeing his reserve building again she felt it was time to begin her campaign. She began by stating that Jane had been in town for three months and enquiring if he had seen her, knowing full well that he had not.

    His chest pounded and his temperature rose a little more as he heard her words. It had begun. Her first words to him were a challenge. His reserve slipped a little as he formulated a reply. He had no wish to lie to her but to explain the details of his knowledge of Jane's whereabouts was not for this time or place, if at all. He decided a simple reply was best.

    'I am sorry to say that I have not had that pleasure of meeting your sister in London.'

    He was relieved. He had not lied.

    She smiled that smile she gave when she had caused him some discomfort but he could feel nothing but an overwhelming feeling of emotion for her. He bowed and moved once again to the chair in the corner.

    'It seems my cousin is telling me it's time to leave. Good day Miss Bennet. I look forward to meeting you often during our stay. Good morning, Mr. Collins, Mrs. Collins, Miss Lucas.'

    Mr. Darcy stood as Mr. Collins was about to begin the farewells. He bowed to Mrs. Collins and Miss Lucas, acknowledged Mr. Collins and turned to Elizabeth and looked intently at her. Was it possible that she had grown more beautiful in three months? She had certainly changed slightly. He realised that some seconds had passed and he took his bow and moved to the door without a word. Elizabeth bowed to the gentlemen and they left quietly with Mr. Collins following them up the path with extended farewells.

    As soon as the gentlemen had left the confines of the parsonage grounds and thus rid themselves of its owner, the Colonel began.

    'Darcy, what delight to have such a charming lady in our company.'

    'Miss Lucas is indeed a sweet girl.'

    'Indeed, Darcy,' laughed the Colonel. 'And now let us move to the subject in question, Miss Bennet. What can you tell me of her?'

    'Tell you? I met her in Hertfordshire.'

    'And that is all you have to say. She is quite lovely. I am sure you noticed that.'

    'Does the idea of a lady of beauty residing in a neighbourhood such as Hertfordshire, surprise you, Fitzwilliam?' said Mr. Darcy, hoping to make the subject less specific.

    'The thing I like best about you Darcy, is that you never change. You refuse to show emotion for anything other than your family and your horses. One day your passion for other things may become apparent to more than your close acquaintances.'

    'I should hope not. What are your feelings on a ride this morning?'

    'Excellent. A perfect beginning to our visit. Along with Miss Bennet, that is.' The Colonel cast a sideways glance at Mr. Darcy who managed to keep his stern expression right through the intense feelings that were pulsing through him.

    At Hunsford, the ladies were all gossiping about the gentlemen. Mr. Darcy they all knew but the Colonel was as charming a man as they could ever meet. Miss Lucas was quite smitten and was relieved that there was someone other than the stern Mr. Darcy to be in company with. Charlotte was observing Elizabeth, whom she found was quite reflective and less talkative than usual.

    'Elizabeth, the visit of the gentlemen has lowered your mood.'

    'Not really, Charlotte. I was just thinking over Mr. Darcy's comment about Jane.'

    'Why so?'

    'Oh, just...it's nothing really.'

    'Did you expect him to have seen Jane?'

    'No, I did not. I...The Colonel is indeed charming and so interesting.'

    'He seemed very pleased to talk with you, Elizabeth. But Mr. Darcy continued to watch you as usual.'

    'I am sure that was only accidental as he reflected on his aunt's estate, Charlotte.'

    'Oh Lizzy, you are silly sometimes,' laughed Charlotte.

    The ladies ended the topic there and proceeded to their work that occupied them until lunch.

    The following morning, the gentlemen were at church with their aunt and their cousin Anne and Elizabeth noted that Mr. Darcy showed no preference for Miss de Bourgh, neither offering to take her arm in or out of church. The sermon was long-winded and impossible to concentrate on as Mr. Collins felt it his due to expand his lecture because of such esteemed parishioners in the congregation. This left Mr. Darcy too much time without occupation and he felt his mind wandering to Elizabeth. She was wearing a new bonnet, or perhaps an old one he had not seen before. It was light tan but had a lovely blue silk ribbon tie that enhanced the colour of her hair and eyes. He could hear her voice when the hymns began and he was swept back to those few times when she had sung before and the overpowering sensation it had given him.

    For Elizabeth, it was also a time of reflection. She stood farther behind the family and was able to observe Mr. Darcy without problem. The Colonel was next to him and although he was tall, Mr. Darcy was just a little taller. The Colonel was not handsome but in company other than Mr. Darcy could have been considered fair. Unfortunately Mr. Darcy's countenance and figure caused Elizabeth to compare the two and that annoyed her. She did not want to find Mr. Darcy more handsome than his cousin. A man so reserved should not have the advantage of beauty. When the hymns began she heard Mr. Darcy's voice amongst the singers and it surprised her to find it melodic and deep with a resonance that brought depth to the collective voices. She had never noticed his voice during hymns at Meryton. He had no doubt inherited his sister's feel for music, she mused. Of course he had danced well with a good feel for the rhythm. She was thus mind wandering when the music ended and it was time to leave. As the family moved down the aisle, Mr. Darcy glanced at her with a look far from stern. She was about to smile when she thought better of it and instead quickly looked away leaving him to wonder what he had done this time and then supposing it was just embarrassment. By the time Elizabeth had left the church, the family had departed for Rosings and she walked home with Charlotte and Mariah.

    The ritual dinner invitations ceased once the gentlemen arrived at Rosings. Elizabeth noted to herself that they were obviously not wanted with such esteemed company in residence but Mr. Collins chose to take the view that Lady Catherine found it hard to entertain so many at one time. During the week following, the Colonel dropped by the parsonage three times and he seemed to enjoy a mid-morning visit when the ladies were almost always present. He drank tea, chatted about their work and the weather and always managed to find an amusing tale to relate. They could not have found a more charming visitor.

    During these visits, Mr. Darcy found himself in a deep and sour mood. The Colonel had begun by asking him to accompany him but on two consecutive refusals, he began to accept that Mr. Darcy was content with his own company. However, Mr. Darcy was not at all happy in his own company and he spent the time imagining the Colonel's visits and what was being said. He pictured Elizabeth smiling and laughing at his cousin and it gave him great distress to think of her enjoying herself so much without him. His desire to be in her presence was becoming more and more difficult to resist yet he knew that even the nearness of her was destroying his resolve. To be within sight or sound of her would ruin any chance he had at self-control. Each time the Colonel returned he gathered snippets of information about Elizabeth to add to his store of delights. He survived that first week but the following Sunday was Easter and upon discussion the night before it was resolved to ask the residents of Hunsford to visit Rosings after dinner that evening. That gave Mr. Darcy all day to prepare to face Elizabeth.

    He began with a late afternoon bath following his ride. He had glimpsed Elizabeth in the park at one point and he had felt extremely proud of his ability to ride in the opposite direction. He dressed with more care than usual, urging his man to take extra time with his wardrobe. Of course it was Easter and thus meticulous dressing was required. By six, he was downstairs and enjoying a drink with his cousin who seemed quite uplifted at the thought of the visitors.

    Elizabeth too, took time to choose her gown. She wished so much for a wider choice but in the end had to resort to one that she had worn at Netherfield. She wished it was not so as she was sure that Mr. Darcy remembered such detail as he had stated his meticulous nature. However it did flatter her and she did have new slippers to wear. She had her hair done in a softer style than usual with a few more curls down her neck and she had a lovely pin that she had been given by her aunt which she used to keep the rest in place.

    When they entered the drawing room, the gentlemen had already joined the ladies where they hoped to have time with the new arrivals. However, Lady Catherine seemed to treat her guests as slight intruders and was resolved to occupy her nephews as much as possible. Mr. Darcy in particular was her favourite and Elizabeth noted that he seemed polite but not interested in her conversation. As for his cousin Anne, Elizabeth did begin to wonder what this supposed engagement was all about. There was absolutely no preference from either party, no particular attention or even any exchange at all. Miss de Bourgh simply existed in the room with no other purpose than to be fussed over by her companion.

    Colonel Fitzwilliam took no time at all to find Elizabeth a seat and ensure that he was her closest companion. She was delighted as there was no one else in the room she was willing to talk with. Mr. Darcy sat alone in a single chair spending much of the time looking at his shoes and listening intently to every word exchanged between his cousin and Elizabeth. He found their conversation so enthralling that he failed to acknowledge a comment from his aunt who also turned to the other two. She enquired what they were talking about and when she found it was music she decided to offer her opinion and interfere to avoid Elizabeth having so much attention from her nephew.

    Lady Catherine rambled on about her sublime taste in all things musical and then asked Mr. Darcy how his sister's studies were going.

    'Georgiana's proficiency improves every day, Lady Catherine. She is studious and often attends extra lessons when she feels the need. She is a faultless student and a loving sister,' replied Mr. Darcy.

    Of course Lady Catherine was happy to hear that but as she was always determined to own any topic, she enquired if Miss Darcy practised enough. Mr. Darcy quickly informed her that she spent a great deal of time every day in practice. That gave Lady Catherine the chance to criticise Elizabeth as she had no doubt that she could never practise as long or as well as a member of her own family and she suggested that Elizabeth use the pianoforte in the back of the house to improve her playing.

    Mr. Darcy was mortified. He had always noticed his aunt's cutting remarks but never had they affected him as much as now. He looked down at his shoes again to hide his embarrassment and there he continued until coffee was served and he was forced to stand. He moved near to Elizabeth and was about to offer to bring her a cup when his cousin stood and offered the same. Mr. Darcy had no choice but to return to his seat and listen to his cousin request Elizabeth to play for them.

    He watched as the Colonel accompanied her to the pianoforte and helped her get seated. He then took a chair quite by her leaving Mr. Darcy angry with his cousin for engaging her, and himself for not speaking to her during the evening. She began to play and once again her style and her movements enveloped him as her music filled his soul, and ignoring his aunt's continual chatter at him, he stood and walked directly to the instrument and stood with a clear view of Elizabeth. During his short walk he had not taken his eyes off her and when he paused, he could not remember even moving. She had absorbed him that much.

    Elizabeth, despite her constant determination to ignore him, was forever aware of his movements and to ensure he was not comfortable she challenged him about his stance stating that his observation of her was not frightening. He smiled to himself. The challenge was always there, tempting him to retort. But this time he left the challenge alone and simply told her that he knew full well that she was not frightened of him but only took delight in saying things that were the opposite of what was expected.

    Even Elizabeth could not find fault with that. He had caught her out and she laughed at herself and him. However he could never be left with a win but before she went on she warned him of retaliation. He knew he was enjoying himself too much but was unable to move away. He stood firm in his resolve and told her he was ready to take whatever she had in store for him.

    The Colonel was not blind to the apparent enjoyment both were getting from their exchange and decided that as he had rarely seen his cousin in such a mood, he wished it to continue. Mr. Darcy was too absorbed with Elizabeth to even notice the observation of his cousin and instead listened as she castigated him for his lack of dancing at the Meryton Assembly. He, of course, had to make excuses and suggested that he knew no other to ask. As he finished he could see her formulating a reply which she promptly did by teasing him about not choosing to be introduced. Elizabeth would have been happy to leave it there as she was not comfortable engaging Mr. Darcy in any more repartee and she asked the Colonel what she should play next.

    However, Mr. Darcy was not ready to have this delightful moment end and admitted his fault in not requesting introductions by stating his reticence with strangers. Once again, he had put her on the back foot. When one is determined to find fault it becomes quite difficult if that person admits to fault in the first place. She had to continue and felt she needed reinforcements. Thus she requested the Colonel's opinion of why a man of Mr. Darcy's background and standing should find it difficult to associate with people outside his sphere.

    The Colonel was so enjoying all this that he decided to side with Elizabeth and suggest that his cousin simply did not care enough to bother. Mr. Darcy was a little offended. He was not a man who enjoyed his own folly and to have his close relative and friend point out such faults was hurtful. He responded by stating that as much as he tried, he had never felt easy in such company and in new places. Elizabeth still sure that his public reticence and reserve was part of his pride, chose to point out that he should not make excuses and used her musical ability as an example stating that her proficiency was determined by her lack of practice and not her lack of skill.

    He smiled warmly at her, filled with her intelligence, her wit and her charm. The comparison she used had warmed him because she had related something of herself to something within him. And with such thoughts, he agreed with her completely, telling her that he could find no fault in anything of her. In fact, he thought them both very similar in their public performances.

    Elizabeth was uneasy. She had spent some minutes finding fault with him yet he had complimented her by stating that she really had no faults in his eyes. This was not as she had planned it and once again she felt the impulsiveness of her wit. His final comment was unnerving indeed. She had no desire to be similar to him in any way and even less desire to be understood so well by a man so impossible to like.

    At that moment, Lady Catherine began to speak to them again and it was with some relief to Elizabeth. She resided in a society where her only intellectual challenge was her father and even he had been outgrown by his daughter. She relished her position and yet here was a man who continually challenged everything she said and in a manner that made it difficult to counter. For Mr. Darcy, it was also welcome relief to hear his aunt addressing the whole party. He felt the keen observation of his cousin and the depths to which he and Elizabeth had examined with each other. He could not continue and stay safe. She began to play again and both gentlemen encouraged her playing until it was time to leave.

    After the farewells, Mr. Darcy retired to his room, once again feeling lost in a sea of sensation that left little room for rational thought. Never had he desired a woman as much as he desired Elizabeth that night. She had changed over the months from a girl willing to have fun with wit and words into a woman worthy of the highest praise. He always knew that she was beautiful but to see and feel the woman within was overwhelming and he began to feel the futility of his resolve. There was a more mature tone to her words, a rationale that went beyond intended folly. She had grown and become even more alluring. He spent some time considering what could have brought on this change but he found his mind was not capable of such rational thought. It was simply and utterly consumed by just her and such thoughts naturally drove his body into a state of overwhelming frustration. Any such lapses in control of either his mind or body had always been brief but finding Elizabeth had changed that and he found his night was once again entirely taken up by simply wanting her.

    Chapter 23

    Posted on Sunday, 1 June 2003

    It is not difficult to imagine the kind of night that Mr. Darcy endured. He knew that he could no longer spend his time running from his feelings. He had lived long enough in the world to know that a desire such as he felt for Elizabeth was rare indeed and it brought with it a reflection on the unions of love he had known throughout his twenty eight years as well as a contemplation of a similar fate for himself. Surprising to most outsiders, he had rarely missed the state of marriage. In his youth, he had sought the company of young ladies as any young man does but he had never actually thought of marrying one of them. He was always influenced by the duty of rank and it had been the only truly important thing in his life. He had never felt the freedom to pursue the vagaries of youthful abandon. He had never permitted himself to even appear youthful. Elizabeth Bennet had changed that and now he was forever tied by the bond of loving another more than oneself.

    From the moment that this realisation came to him, he was faced with a series of decisions. The first was whether or not to pursue the desire he felt for her. If he chose to ignore it then he was led down the path of disappointment and loneliness, as he knew that he would forever be forced to compare all women to Elizabeth. Even saying farewell to her last night gave him a taste of the emptiness he felt in her absence. This of course led to the much more dangerous path of loving her. To do so was to give of himself as he had never given before but it was not this that frightened him. It was the consequences of such a love that caused him anguish. To love her was to abandon all he had been taught of obligation, responsibility and rank and although he had no doubt that his love was worth their loss, the alteration to his life-long beliefs was frightening.

    Fitzwilliam Darcy was a sensible man though, not prone to instant decisions like his friend, and as such he knew that such dilemmas are not solved overnight. Thus he chose the path of least resistance. He chose to fulfill his desire to be in her company as much as possible and hope that such a path would lead him to the right decision. And so, with determination, he set off immediately after breakfast to visit Hunsford.

    Elizabeth had also spent a rather disturbing night. She had never seen Mr. Darcy in such a mood. He showed an understanding of her that was at the very least unsettling and at the most awkward. A lady does not like to be so easily read. Her determination of his interference in Jane's welfare had not disappeared though as she was sure from his reply on the first day of his visit that he knew more than he disclosed. Thus she chose to think that his new mood was purely a device meant to disarm her and distract her from more serious matters.

    The following morning as she wrote to Jane, she was still contemplating the evening when there was a ring at the door. She was alone, as her friend and her sister were shopping in the village. The servant opened the door and in walked Mr. Darcy. She looked past him expecting his cousin as well but he was alone. To say who was the most surprised at finding themselves alone with the other is hard to determine but the visit definitely began with a degree of discomfort and embarrassment. He apologised for intruding and she was awkward at being unaccompanied.

    What brought extra surprise to Elizabeth though was that he stayed and she felt an obligation to speak.

    'I hope all your family at Rosings are well this morning, Mr. Darcy.'

    'They are indeed, thank you.'

    He offered nothing more and knowing how long he could go without speaking, she knew that she must take over and no topic was closer to her heart than her sister. As such she formulated a comment that made him aware that she thought their departure from Netherfield was hasty while enquiring after the health of his friends. Once again he replied with a few words and was silent. She would not allow him the pleasure of silence so immediately enquired about Mr. Bingley's return to Netherfield. That brought an extended remark from Mr. Darcy who made it clear that as far as he knew such an occurrence was unlikely. Elizabeth had then had enough of the topic and Mr. Darcy and resolved to remain silent.

    Having no option but to leave or begin to speak, he chose the latter and began with compliments on the parsonage and the detail taken by his aunt in preparing it. Elizabeth agreed, with the addition that Mr. Collins was the one person who would show due gratitude. Mr. Darcy saw his opportunity and praised Charlotte as a wife, feeling pleased that he had managed to bring up the subject of marriage without becoming personal. He waited to see her response hoping to uncover some of Elizabeth's opinions on marriage and she quickly responded with a further compliment of her friend although admitting it was a good match for both.

    Mr. Darcy saw an opportunity to further bring her out by bringing up the distance from Kent to Hertfordshire. Elizabeth felt the distance too great and he had no choice but to suggest that it could be travelled quite quickly. She then realised that he felt distance from home an advantage to a lady's choice of marriage partner and disagreed. He knew he had to be careful with the words he chose next and so withdrew slightly by stating his understanding of a desire to be close to one's family. Elizabeth found the conversation quite odd up until now but seeing the half smile that he gave as he spoke of Longbourn, she assumed that he thought she had been referring to Jane and Netherfield rather than her own feelings. Feeling caught out, she blushed and as he saw the colour rise through her face to light her eyes, his heart leapt.

    She rushed to answer; attempting to make him understand that she only meant that distance is relative to fortune. Nothing she said could have pleased him more and he leaned towards her with words of understanding and a rather strange comment that she had obviously never felt such strong attachment to her home and family. Elizabeth frowned slightly, unsure of his meaning, and in that moment he knew he must retreat and in an effort to remove the depth of mood, he picked up a newspaper on the table and began to browse through it while changing the subject to her opinion of Kent. They had barely time to share more than an extra sentence or two before Charlotte and her sister returned from the village. To say that they were surprised to find Mr. Darcy visiting with Elizabeth is certainly true but Charlotte saw more than politeness as she watched them together. As the perfect gentleman he apologised for his mistake and intrusion and left within a few minutes.

    As soon as the door was shut, Charlotte looked closely at Elizabeth and told her she had no doubt about the reason for his visit. He must be enamoured with Elizabeth. However Elizabeth remembered only his reluctance to speak and after telling her friend of that, perhaps with some over-emphasis, they both agreed that the visit was out of boredom. At least Elizabeth came to that conclusion while Charlotte wavered between her first opinion and the less valued one.

    The next day Elizabeth was out walking in her favourite grove when she heard footsteps on the gravel behind her. She slowed a little having never encountered another person in that area and within some seconds Mr. Darcy reached her. She looked up in surprise and annoyance.

    'Mr. Darcy!'

    'Miss Bennet.' He bowed and she responded. 'I hope I am not intruding on your walk.'

    'Ah, not at all, although I was about to turn for home.'

    'At such an early hour? I am sure you will find the northern end of the grove to your liking.'

    Elizabeth was unsure what to do. She did want to continue but not with Mr. Darcy.

    'I think I shall return as I have been out for some time. Excuse me.'

    She turned and found that he had also turned, fully intending to walk with her.

    'I would be happy to accompany you back to the parsonage, Miss Bennet.'

    She was annoyed and had no way to rid herself of him so she resolved to remain as quiet as possible. That did not deter him however and he continued by her side and eventually she decided his penance was better served by talking.

    'I enjoy walking here alone. It is quite my favourite spot. I expected that you and the Colonel would be occupied with Lady Catherine during your stay. She is very devoted to both of you.'

    'She enjoys the company of her family. She and Miss de Bourgh have few visitors.'

    'And why is that, sir?'

    'Lady Catherine enjoys a limited society. I think one reason is the health of Miss de Bourgh. She is a fragile being.'

    'Indeed it does seem so. Has she a particular illness or is it her nature to be prone to general ill health?'

    'General ill health I feel.'

    He offered no further comment and on they walked for some minutes.

    'You enjoy excellent health, it seems,' he stated suddenly.

    'I think walking and exercise are what keep me from illness.'

    'I think you are right. I enjoy the outdoors myself. Although Derbyshire in winter offers limited outdoor activities. I do try to keep busy though. I imagine the weather there would be a great contrast to you after the mildness of Hertfordshire.'

    'I suppose it might,' offered Elizabeth, bored with the weather and his estate.

    Neither presented any new topic and while one was happy not to bother, the other was occupied with the simple companionship that a walk in the woods can provide. Upon reaching the parsonage, Elizabeth bade a quick farewell and disappeared inside, not making any offer for him to join her.

    Upon her return, Charlotte immediately enquired on her walk.

    'Lizzy, was that Mr. Darcy I saw at the gate?'

    'Yes.'

    'Did you not ask him in?'

    'No Charlotte. I have had enough of Mr. Darcy.'

    'Was he walking with you?'

    'I encountered him only on my return,' said Elizabeth, leaving out any further detail, as she had no desire to supply her friend with any more evidence of attachment.

    Charlotte and Elizabeth then proceeded to lunch and the afternoon and evening were spent at work as both houses dined separately.

    The following day was raining and Elizabeth was confined to indoors. However, Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr. Darcy arrived just after half past two with a request from Lady Catherine that the Hunsford party joins them for dinner. She would send her carriage. They were all quite pleased as it brought longed-for escape from each other's company. Although Elizabeth and Charlotte did enjoy each other, the half-hourly interruptions by Mr. Collins had proved impossible. Miss Lucas, meanwhile, was content to record in her journal and listen to the older ladies gossip.

    The carriage arrived at six and promptly dropped its guests at precisely a quarter past six giving them time to adjust their clothing and hair before Lady Catherine's prompt dinner bell at half past six. Elizabeth had not dined at Rosings since the arrival of the gentlemen and was quite looking forward to watching them deal with their aunt over a meal. They both seemed amply able to escape at other times but a dinner table brought its own confinements.

    The whole party gathered in the drawing room just in time for the bell and Lady Catherine insisted on the Colonel escorting her to the table. She instructed Mr. Darcy to escort Miss de Bourgh leaving Mr. and Mrs. Collins to themselves and the single ladies to follow. The seating was pre-arranged as Lady Catherine left nothing to chance. She took her seat at the head of the table with a nephew on each side. She placed Miss Bennet next Mr. Darcy as that might ensure she had little to talk about. The Colonel was seated next to Mrs. Collins followed by her husband. Miss de Bourgh took the other end of the table and Miss Lucas was seated next to Elizabeth. Elizabeth noted that Miss de Bourgh's companion was not allowed the privilege of eating with the family.

    As the servants entered with the soup, Mr. Darcy leaned a little away from Elizabeth allowing her to be served. She immediately turned to him.

    'I am sure your sleeves are safe, Mr. Darcy.'

    He smiled at her. 'I have no doubt of it, Miss Bennet. The sauce will be served later.'

    They exchanged a small smile of connection before she looked back to her bowl. The Colonel happened to notice the continued look of Mr. Darcy as his eyes lovingly perused Elizabeth and as Mr. Darcy turned back to his soup he caught his cousin's eye in a look of knowing.

    After all the guests were served, Lady Catherine picked up her spoon giving signal to her party to begin also. It was a light broth that took little time to consume and only Lady Catherine managed to sip and talk at the same time. The next course was a simple roast, her ladyship's favourite, accompanied by ragout of green vegetables and onions. As the servant brought the vegetables, Mr. Darcy leaned towards Elizabeth.

    'Miss Bennet, I am sure Lady Catherine will excuse you. I know that you have no taste for a ragout.'

    'You have a remarkable memory, Mr. Darcy. However, as a guest I think that is important to eat what is served. I would not wish to offend Lady Catherine.'

    'My dear nephew, please speak up. How can we hear you if you whisper so?' interrupted Lady Catherine.

    Not wishing to embarrass Elizabeth, Mr. Darcy began with a question that was sure to keep his aunt occupied for some minutes.

    'Madam, I am interested to know your opinion of the lambs this spring. Do you think that the sheep are doing their duty?'

    His turn of phrase amused Elizabeth and even more so when she caught a glimpse of mischief between him and his cousin. She glanced across at the Colonel and with a quick raise of her eyebrows, indicated that she was enjoying the joke as well. The Colonel smiled back and Mr. Darcy felt the pangs of jealousy seeing his cousin enjoy the charms of Elizabeth. The mood silenced him during most of the main course as they listened to Lady Catherine's opinion of sheep husbandry.

    The dessert was a steamed pudding with a fine custard served separately. Of course as Elizabeth picked up the custard bowl, she could not help but glance at Mr. Darcy with a look of torment, almost suggesting that she might drop it. He understood immediately and frowned in mock dismay. Unfortunately Elizabeth found every severe look from Mr. Darcy to be one of criticism and she turned back to the custard with a sigh. He in turn went back to his dessert with a feeling of union with her.

    The Colonel had observed all of this and knowing his cousin much better than Elizabeth and being much more willing to understand him, he knew immediately that his cousin was infatuated with Miss Bennet. There was no doubt about it. He had never behaved with a woman in such a way. This evening was to be interesting indeed.

    After dessert the ladies retired to the drawing room while the three gentlemen were left at the table. Mr. Collins found himself out-classed and out-thought within a matter of minutes and chose to excuse himself leaving the Colonel to question his cousin in private.

    'Lovely evening, Darcy.'

    'Indeed, it is always a fine meal at Lady Catherine's.'

    'And fine company. I cannot fault Miss Bennet.'

    'Few can, I am sure.'

    'You in particular it seems.' The Colonel leaned forward waiting for Mr. Darcy's reply.

    'What can you mean, Fitz?'

    'Oh come now, Darcy. You have not taken your eyes off her all evening.'

    Mr. Darcy turned away while replying, afraid that his cousin might see his heightened colour. 'She is a beautiful woman. What man would not look at her?'

    'What is her background? What family is she from?' asked the Colonel.

    'Her father is a gentleman but there is little or no fortune.'

    'Tis a pity. Still a man is permitted to enjoy the company of a lady.'

    'What do you mean?'

    'Simply that I intend to enjoy the company of Miss Bennet during our stay in Kent. Have you some objection, cousin?' baited the Colonel.

    'I am sure Miss Bennet came to Kent to spend time with her friend and to enjoy some time away from her family.'

    'Are you warning me away, Darcy?'

    'Warning you? Whatever do you mean?'

    'That perhaps you feel there is some prior claim on Miss Bennet. She is striking and I am sure that many a gentleman has his eye on her. No doubt she has a long line of suitors.'

    That old familiar chill ran through Mr. Darcy.

    'I have not seen attention from any particular gentleman being bestowed on her. I am sure you are exaggerating.'

    'I am sure I am not. I have not met a lady in the last six months who measures up to Miss Bennet. Trust me Darcy, she will be married before the year is out.'

    'Shall we join the ladies, Fitzwilliam?' said Mr. Darcy immediately. He had no wish to continue this discussion and every wish to be in Elizabeth's company again.

    'As you wish. Shall we ask her to play? I do admire her figure at the pianoforte.'

    The Colonel walked out ahead of his cousin while Mr. Darcy seethed at his final comment. He knew Elizabeth was worthy of such praise but to hear it from another gentleman was worrying. He had begun to take an emotional claim on Elizabeth and it was unbearable to think that other gentlemen might consider her as a wife.

    Upon their entrance to the drawing room, they both chose to take seats as near Elizabeth as was possible. The Colonel was full of admiration for her but he was also gentleman enough to see his cousin's prior claim but also knowing his cousin as he did, he felt that some interference on his part might improve the situation.

    'Miss Bennet, would you play for us tonight?'

    'I think Lady Catherine may prefer cards. She did mention her desire for a game.'

    'I am sure we would all be happy to hear you play before cards, Miss Bennet,' said Mr. Darcy.

    'Thank you, sir, but I think I will defer to your aunt.'

    'I rarely hear you defer to anyone Miss Bennet. I thought my aunt had found her match,' Mr. Darcy replied with a smile.

    'You seem to be a great favourite, sir. Do you always do as she asks?'

    'If it suits me. I am my own man, Miss Bennet.'

    'Indeed, Mr. Darcy. However we all eventually meet our match.'

    The corners of his mouth rose as she finished and his eyes softened as they looked into hers.

    'Indeed, madam. We do all eventually meet our match.'

    Elizabeth was too puzzled by his smirk to bother speaking to him anymore and chose to turn slightly toward the Colonel who had been listening intently.

    'And do you take care of your aunt's requests, Colonel?'

    'I have not Darcy's determination. I prefer to lead a peaceful life.'

    'Is that a yes, sir?'

    'It is a sometimes. And you Miss Bennet, have you a relation who demands such attentions?'

    'My family is not so formidable as yours, Colonel.'

    'Then you excel yourself in handling us all as you do, Miss Bennet. One would think you were a seasoned campaigner. You seem to handle my cousin with great panache.'

    They both turned to Mr. Darcy to gauge his reaction and found him looking grave.

    'Darcy, is there a problem?' asked his cousin.

    'Certainly not. Although your choice of words could be found somewhat ambiguous. I have never felt handled by Miss Bennet.'

    'Then I shall have to try harder, Mr. Darcy,' replied Elizabeth, her eyes full of challenge.

    'A threat, perhaps?' he replied with defiance.

    'Definitely. I have never been known to withdraw.'

    'I think you are repeating my words now, Miss Bennet. Are we back to fencing?'

    'He is an excellent swordsman, Miss Bennet,' added the Colonel.

    'He has informed me of such, Colonel Fitzwilliam. However there are other ways to win a battle.'

    'And to the victor comes the spoils, or in this case, perhaps the loser really would be the winner.' The Colonel raised his brows to his cousin who glared back.

    'And now my cousin is proving he is better away from the battlefield. A lost battle is lost forever,' replied Mr. Darcy.

    'Oh but what rewards can be found on retreat,' answered the Colonel.

    Mr. Darcy continued a determined glare at his cousin, willing him to cease such talk. Meanwhile Elizabeth was enjoying herself very much. There was nothing better than a battle of words and she found great delight in seeing the Colonel take up her usual position against Mr. Darcy.

    'You seem to know more about retreat than you are revealing, sir,' stated Elizabeth.

    'I am not a man who enjoys competition the way my cousin here does. Darcy is always competing, sometimes even with himself. However these last two weeks seem to have him especially at odds. Have you noticed a change in him since Hertfordshire, Miss Bennet?'

    'I have not. Mr. Darcy is always a man with little time for small talk and much time for thought. Whether or not his thoughts are in conflict is not for me to decide.'

    'But perhaps for us both to speculate upon, madam.'

    Elizabeth could feel the unease with which Mr. Darcy was enduring this tone and felt it imprudent and impolite to continue.

    'I think a man such as Mr. Darcy has ample opportunity to do his own speculating, Colonel Fitzwilliam.'

    The Colonel smiled at them both and moved away, aware that his cousin would prefer some time alone with Elizabeth.

    'It seems I have driven off your cousin, Mr. Darcy. I hope you do not feel it necessary to stay with me.'

    'Necessary, Miss Bennet? I am not here because I find it necessary, I assure you.'

    'How long do you stay in Kent, Mr. Darcy,' said Elizabeth, quickly changing the subject.

    'I have not made definite plans as yet. Perhaps I might stay longer than usual. You are here for some time I think.'

    'We have been in Kent for over four weeks. Miss Lucas and I will be leaving later next week. I will be pleased to see my family again. And your sister, Mr. Darcy, is she in London still?'

    'She is. She was to be travelling back to Pemberley with me next week but my plans may prevent that.'

    'Oh so you have further business in town. Or perhaps you are simply in need of some fencing practice,' she said impudently.

    'Without doubt, Miss Bennet,' he chuckled in reply. 'However I have not finalised things here and until I do, I cannot make plans for the future.'

    He was so overcome with his own words that he had no choice but to look slightly away from her to recover himself. On looking back, he found her frowning at her hands that were placed neatly in her lap.

    'Have you some worry Miss Bennet? Perhaps it is something I can assist you with.'

    'I very much doubt that, Mr. Darcy. This is something that has been concerning me for some time. Please excuse me.'

    She rose so quickly that he hardly had time to stand for her. He bowed and she moved quietly to the other side of the room to take a seat near her friend. Charlotte had noticed her quick movements and enquired if she and Mr. Darcy had some disagreement. Elizabeth simply shook her head. She had no wish to discuss Mr. Darcy with anyone. She was fed up with his attempt at amiable after-dinner repartee that always ended in her frustration. She was much happier when they disagreed completely as it made it easier to dislike him. She decided to make every effort to stay away from him for the rest of his time in Kent and continue with her opinion of his arrogant interference as that way she would have no need to rethink her attitude to him.

    Elizabeth ended her evening thinking what good company she found in Colonel Fitzwilliam. She hardly thought of Mr. Darcy unless it was to contrast his behaviour with his cousin's. Unfortunately for the gentleman, he was almost constantly seen in the company of affable, friendly and talkative men when he was around Elizabeth and their outgoing personalities dominated her person and her thinking. He slid into the recess of her mind just as he did in person with others. She had rarely bothered to understand him and with the added tales from Mr. Wickham, she saw no need to begin. He was simply the man in the background who seemed always in some kind of dark mood. Her disposition was such that his attempts at charm were disregarded. She did notice he was handsome but that was superficial to Elizabeth. And despite her clever mind, she had failed to realise the thrill she felt when they talked. She was yet to discover that charm wanes with tide but intelligence and passion are life-long.

    The evening finished as many others. The carriage was called; the Hunsford party departed and the gentlemen retired after Lady Catherine and Miss de Bourgh were safely in their rooms. Mr. Darcy was now beyond any hope of sensible rest. In fact he was so exhausted that he felt he might never rest again. His mind was awash with Elizabeth in every form imaginable and vignettes of his future life with her flashed before his eyes continually, with the nights bringing extra detail. Oh it would be much simpler to marry for fortune. That way he could do the business required of marriage and leave his heart untouched. But it was too late for that. His heart was not untouched. It was held in the gentle persuasion of a fine mind inside a body blessed with an irresistible lightness and form and framed by a face of unique splendour.

    Continued In Next Section

    © 2003 Copyright held by the author.