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Chapter 14

Posted on Monday, 19 July 2004

Jane had been sitting quietly in the small sitting room at Netherfield when Mrs. Thomas happened to walk past and mentioned to her that Mr. Bingley had received an express from town. Wondering who might have sent it and if it were good news or bad, she went in search of her husband. She found him in his usual place in the library sitting behind his large desk, and knowing that she was always welcome, she walked over to him.

"Charles, Mrs. Thomas said that you received an express from town. Is anything the matter?"

She slipped behind his chair and began to rub his shoulders.

Trying not to react despite the lovely distraction of her gentle hands, he responded, "I hardly know, Jane. It is from Darcy. Perhaps you would like to read it."

Bingley handed her the letter. She read the note quickly as she walked around to the front of his desk and sat down on one of the large chairs there.

"What does this mean, Charles?" asked Jane after she had read the letter. "What does our marriage have to do with Elizabeth?"

What he would now say would further expose his friend to the censure of his wife and perhaps increase her pointed animosity. "I suspected, and told him so, that it was my opinion that he was in love with your sister, and that the objections he voiced to me concerning our marriage were really words he was using to persuade himself that he did not care for Elizabeth," said Bingley. There was little hope now that he could redeem his friend in the eyes of his wife.

"And do you really think that he still loves her?" she asked in a surprised and angry tone.

"I do. I also believe that he will either return to marry her or that we will never see him in Hertfordshire again."

It took a minute for Jane to comprehend that assertion.

"I know that Elizabeth was in love with him. Indeed, she still is, despite the hurt he caused her. But what right does he think he has to play with her heart in such a way that gives her pain?!" cried Jane, furious at the arrogance of Mr. Darcy.

"Jane, he has no right to do that at all. It was wrong of him." And summoning up his courage, he continued. "If I were to invite him back to Netherfield, do you think she would see him?" asked Bingley. He did want to see his friend again, but...

"I do not know if I want to see him." Jane thought for moment. "And his coming back will certainly cause Elizabeth more pain!" she added heatedly. "How will she heal if he is here to remind her of all they shared together?"

"Very well, then, I shall not invite him. But Jane, if he loves her, he will not stay away."

A new source of pleasure had opened itself to Mr. Grinly. After several days of indecision he had formed a resolution, one that promised great joy. The decision was this: He was going to propose marriage to Miss Elizabeth.

Mr. Grinly had quietly arranged spending time alone with her each day, and of course they were always together in company in the evenings. He had continued to observe her developing relationship with Constance and was not unmindful of the pleasing effects of her charms over him.

Every time he looked at Elizabeth, his heart awakened in further recognition of her merits and accomplishments. While she could never replace Julia, she would be a good companion for himself and would have a remarkably positive influence on Constance, the very circumstances to be desired in a second marriage.

He liked Elizabeth very much, but did not know if he would call it love. He felt nothing like the depth of feeling he had felt for Julia while she was alive. And while the years had tempered those raw feelings, it would take time for them to be replaced by love for Elizabeth. But it would happen and in the meantime they would be very close friends. Undoubtedly, she did not love him, but she did love Constance, he was certain, and as his love for her began to bloom in time, so too would hers for him. Their relationship would continually grow and progress to a stronger, safer place.

Elizabeth had grown quite fond of Constance. Each afternoon they would sit together in the drawing room and Elizabeth would teach her how to stitch. Constance was apt pupil and would someday be very proficient with a needle if she continued to practice.

She had also noticed that Mr. Grinly had begun to pay more attention to her. He was a very kind man, she thought, and in some ways reminded her of Mr. Bingley. He had a gentle personality that was not easily disturbed by the silliness of her mother and sisters. Despite their nonsense, Mr. Grinly treated them calmly and with a respect. Elizabeth had to admire him. He was so full of love for his daughter. It only brought to mind how much she missed her own father.

"Miss Bennet, I want to thank you for the kindness you have shown my daughter," said Mr. Grinly to her after Constance had left them alone to seek another amusement. "She tells me that she enjoys your company immensely, and has proudly shown me the needlework that you are teaching her. Thank you for taking the time to be with her. I am exceedingly grateful, and I know that she is, also."

"She is a pleasing, well mannered young woman," said Elizabeth. "I cannot help but like her."

"She is my treasure," said Grinly. "It pains me that she knows so little of her mother. Constance reminds me of her."

Elizabeth hesitated, then asked, "What happened to her mother? I mean, if it is not too painful for you tell me."

"She died following a carriage accident. The horses suddenly bolted and the driver could not regain control. They flew down a road until the wheels hit a tree, overturning the carriage. The driver jumped off suffering only slight injuries to his legs, but Julia could not escape. She was thrown against the inside of the carriage as it hit the ground, giving her a blow to the head. When she was removed from the carriage, she was curled up around Constance, who was miraculously unhurt. Although Julia did regain consciousness for awhile, her injuries were too severe and she died within a few days."

A tremble of sadness passed through Elizabeth as she considered the unhappy fate of poor Julia Grinly. She could not hear such a tale of tragedy without a great deal of sympathy for the Mr. Grinly.

When he had done speaking, Elizabeth turned to him and put her hand on his arm. "Mr. Grinly, I am so sorry. I do not know what to say."

"You are very kind, Miss Bennet," said Mr. Grinly. He was touched by the emotion he saw in her face, and attributed her kindness to him as one of her perfections. Yes, he thought, he would be very happy with Elizabeth as his wife.

"How terrible it must have been for you for someone to come and tell you that your wife was gravely injured," said Elizabeth. "I cannot even imagine. How you must have suffered!"

Their eyes met and their glance held as she favored him with a smile of encouragement.

"Time has, of course, softened the pain," he said, "but I worry about Constance. It is not good for her to be alone. Once I hired a companion for her, but they were never close and Constance seemed more distressed by her than comforted."

"You have done your best to bring her up, Mr. Grinly," said Elizabeth. "Your love for her is quite evident."

"Thank you, Miss Bennet."

Mrs. Bennet had determined in her mind that Mr. Grinly should marry Elizabeth. While Mr. Darcy would have been a preferable match, he was absent now, and she would not waste the time at hand pursuing a match that might never happen. If she only knew how things stood between them. She had observed Elizabeth and Mr. Grinly from an upper window speaking together in the garden. They had just parted, and now Elizabeth was alone. Determined to find out all she could, she left the house to speak with her.

Coming up to her as Elizabeth approached the paddock, she asked, "Lizzy, I saw you and Mr. Grinly walking in the garden. Of what were you speaking?"

Elizabeth stopped her walk to answer her mother. "Of nothing, really, Mama, we were just talking," she said as she resumed her progress towards the house.

"I am sure that he likes you, Lizzy," said Mrs. Bennet. "Make every effort to please him and perhaps he will make you an offer."

Elizabeth spun around and glared at her mother. Unwilling to respond to such an affront, she turned and ran away.

"Miss Lizzy, come back here!" cried Mrs. Bennet.

Elizabeth would not hear her.

Darcy knew that his mind and heart belonged to Elizabeth, but was now faced with the question as to how he was to regain the affection he had so callously thrown away. He had wounded her deeply, there was no doubt, and it was evident when they danced at the Netherfield ball that she felt anxious in his company. How could he repair the damage and obtain her trust?

Bingley had not responded to his letter. Darcy had hoped for an invitation to Netherfield, but was now beginning to doubt the possibility of receiving one. He remembered Miss Jane Bennet's words to him about Elizabeth. Miss Bennet was now Mrs. Bingley, and would no doubt influence Bingley's decisions. He did not want to think of Mrs. Bingley as his adversary, though he could hardly blame her for wanting to protect her sister.

Darcy determined that he would have to go to Hertfordshire without an invitation. He could stay at the Inn at Meryton, of course, but before he had any chance at all with winning Elizabeth's hand, he would have to be reconciled with Bingley and confess his wrongdoing in person to his bride.

Mr. Grinly did not know what to do. He and Julia had been of one mind concerning marriage. They had discussed it, planned on it and were secure in each other's affection long before his formal proposal. Her father's consent had been a matter of course.

With Elizabeth it was very different. He was uncertain as to how she would respond to his addresses. To be sure, they had not known each other long, but he felt as though he did know her heart. His devotion to her was increasing. Once he set his heart free, he was surprised at how quickly it had come about.

Mr. Grinly knew Elizabeth would sometimes spend the mornings in the garden and so he determined to meet her there. It was without difficulty that he found Elizabeth sitting on a bench in a secluded place reading a book.

"Good morning, Miss Bennet," he said as he came up to her. He was nervous. So much depended on this interview. Would she accept? He had so many doubts.

"Good morning, Mr. Grinly. It is a beautiful day, is it not?"

"It is," he answered. How could he begin?

"Would you care to sit down, Mr. Grinly?" She gestured to the seat next to her as she closed her book. Taking this as a sign of encouragement, he sat down and cleared his throat.

She gave him a questioning look. It seemed as though he wanted to say something, yet there was a hesitation of sorts. He had never been uncomfortable with her before.

He gathered himself together as best as he could. Everything had come down to this.

"Miss Bennet," he said carefully, "I have been hoping for an opportunity to speak with you alone."

Elizabeth colored and looked away. He continued.

"I have come to feel a deep regard and affection for you."

Elizabeth struggled to understand him. What did he say? Affection?

She raised her hand to her chest, her breathing rapid and shallow.

"Sir?"

"Elizabeth..."

She started at the intimacy of his use of her Christian name.

"...I know that I may not be what you imagined as a husband, but I offer myself to you," said Grinly. He stood up and paced in front of her for moment, then stopped his walk and faced her. "I know we could be happy together. Constance needs you. I need you. I give all that I am ... and all that I have ... to you, Elizabeth, and beg that you will consent to be my wife."

Elizabeth could not speak. When the effects of her first astonishment had worn off, she began to silently consider her past and her future. She remembered herself with her father as a small girl, how he had teased her by saying he would never allow her marry any man because he always wanted her to stay at Longbourn. She thought about Mr. Darcy and the kiss they shared and the passion she felt from him and for him. She remembered the blush on Jane's cheek at the end of her marriage ceremony when Mr. Bingley had repeated the words, '...with my body, I thee worship.'

Grinly saw her slip into a state of deep contemplation. He felt encouraged that she had not immediately answered, certain that such an answer could only be a negative. He wanted to say more, to say all he felt, but at this moment she seemed beyond words, and he dared not interrupt her thoughts.

Elizabeth's mind was in turmoil as images of Mr. Darcy tumbled about in her brain contrasted with the sight of Mr. Grinly. She thought of Jane's ceremony. Could she worship Mr. Grinly with her body? Was she free of Mr. Darcy?

No, she could not and was not!

Finally, Elizabeth found her voice.

"Mr. Grinly," she said in voice barely audible, "thank you for your offer. I am flattered to know that I have inspired such feelings in someone whom I regard as much as I do you."

But why could it not have been Mr. Darcy? She felt a blush overwhelm her features.

"As for marriage..." she paused.

"Miss Bennet," interrupted Mr. Grinly. He sat down with her again. "Please...I do not want you to decide now. It would not be fair. I have had time to consider this step and you have not. Perhaps we may discuss the matter at another time after you have had a chance to reflect on it?"

Although she was certain her mind would not alter, she felt she owed him a carefully worded answer and was grateful for the reprieve that would allow her the time she needed to formulate such a response.

"Yes, Mr. Grinly. Thank you."

She allowed him to take her hand, and he kissed it. She opened her mind in anticipation of his touch, but her thoughts were drawn to another time, another kiss, and another man.

From an upper window, Constance watched her father cross the lawn. She had expected that Elizabeth would accompany him back to the house, but she was not with him. This did not bode well.

Mr. Grinly had informed his daughter of his intention to ask Elizabeth to marry him, wanting very much to know how she felt about the prospect of Elizabeth being her stepmother. Constance liked Elizabeth very much. Nay, she could say that she loved her and she assured him of that.

Constance had only vague memories of her mother, but the memories she remembered were those of being loved by her. Life had been cruel the day she was taken from the world. If only Elizabeth would accept her father, she would love her as much as she did him.

Returning to the house, Mr. Grinly went immediately to his daughter, knowing she would be expecting to hear from him as to his success with Elizabeth.

Constance was anticipating his visit and immediately answered his knock on her door. She was disheartened by the expression of doubt and uncertainty she saw on his face.

"Father?"

Mr. Grinly had shut the door to her room and was leaning back against it when he answered her, composing himself from the anxiety under which he had suffered as he made his offer to Elizabeth.

"I received neither a favorable nor unfavorable answer from Miss Bennet," he told Constance. "She told me that she held me in regard. She seemed to hesitate, though, and before she could continue, I asked her to think about my offer and suggested that we would talk about it at a later time, to which she agreed." A wave of regret coursed through him and he realized just then how disappointed he truly was.

"Oh Father!" Constance ran to him and threw her arms around him. "Do you think she will accept?"

Holding her close, he said, "It would be a big change for her. I am so much older than she, and we live so far away. I know she is particularly close to her sister, Mrs. Bingley."

"Father, she must love you. How could she not?" Constance took his hand and held it against her cheek.

"She may not love me now, but she has such a gentle heart that I know she would come to love us both in time," said her father with a far away look in his eye.

Left alone in the garden, Elizabeth had time to think about what had just happened. As astonishing as his proposal was, she could now look back over the course of her relationship with Mr. Grinly and see the increasing intimacy into which she had been drawn. He had never behaved in any manner that would make her uncomfortable and she would have to confess that she always enjoyed his company. She was satisfied that she had done nothing to encourage his suit though she had done nothing to discourage his friendship.

She was not insulted by his offer and would even admit that a portion of her vanity was pleased by the attention, yet it was painful. She did not want to hurt him for the world, yet if she refused him, she knew he would be disappointed. What could she do? She knew Mr. Darcy was lost to her, but her heart was still full of him. How could she give herself to another?

Mr. Grinly was offering her a home, his love and a daughter. Constance was a lovely girl, though it seemed an unlikely responsibility for her to assume the education and development of a young woman only six years her junior. Constance's sweet disposition had endeared her to Elizabeth and she knew that they could be friends, but Wiltshire was so far away and isolated. Elizabeth had never felt so alone as she did at that moment.

Elizabeth slipped unseen into the house and went up to her room, pleading indisposition when she was called down to dinner. She knew Mr. Grinly would be distressed by her absence, and perhaps her mother would be angry, but she could not face him, not until she had spoken with Jane.

The next morning Elizabeth found herself at Netherfield before breakfast. She had been unable to sleep and rising early, decided to make the walk. She had to see Jane. There was nothing else to be done.

The cool morning air was refreshing. She had felt confined and restricted in her room, being unwilling to leave it for fear of encountering Mr. Grinly. This was the farthest she had been from home since her fall, and now she was going back to the place where it all began.

"Good morning, Miss Bennet," said Mrs. Thomas as she opened the door. "Welcome back to Netherfield. May I inquire after your health?" She ushered Elizabeth towards the drawing room.

"I am well, thank you," responded Elizabeth in a very agitated voice, conscious that she did not sound as if she were well.

Mrs. Thomas made no notice of her uneasiness, but merely smiled in acknowledgement.

"Is my sister awake?"

"Yes, but Mrs. Bingley has not come down yet," replied Mrs. Thomas. "I will send word that you are here."

"Thank you," said Elizabeth gratefully.

Jane must have been nearly dressed because Elizabeth did not have to wait long. On Jane's appearance in the drawing room, all the anxiety that had been building up inside her burst forth and she ran over to Jane, threw her arms around her neck and broke into tears.

"Oh, Jane!" sobbed Elizabeth.

Jane held her without saying a word, making every effort to hide her own discomfiture at witnessing such an outpouring of emotion. Jane gently hushed and caressed her into silence. When Elizabeth had calmed down, Jane extricated herself from her grasp and led her to a sofa.

"Lizzy, will you tell me what is wrong?" asked Jane tenderly. She had seldom seen Elizabeth this upset before and knew something awful must have happened.

"I do not know what to do or how to feel!" cried Elizabeth as she leaned against her shoulder.

"What do you mean?" Jane took her hand, hoping that Mr. Darcy had not returned to Hertfordshire.

Elizabeth hesitated, not knowing where to begin. Finally, she stated the ultimate fact.

"Mr. Grinly proposed marriage to me yesterday." She nestled herself in Jane's embrace and felt her eyes begin to burn once again.

"What did he say, Lizzy?" Though immediately surprised at the suddenness of the event, Jane was not completely astonished. Jane suspected that Mr. Grinly had been falling in love with her sister since she had first seen them together at Longbourn.

"Everything!" cried Elizabeth. With a sigh she related to Jane all that Mr. Grinly had told her. "He said we could be happy together. He said Constance needed me. He said that he needed me, too. He said he would give me everything he had."

"Oh, Lizzy, I can tell by your tears that you did not accept him," concluded Jane. Jane would have been grateful to see Elizabeth married to Mr. Grinly and taken far away from Mr. Darcy's influence and the neglect of her family.

"No, I did not reject him completely. He asked me to consider the offer and we would talk about it later, to which I agreed." Elizabeth was almost breathless. "Jane, tell me how to refuse him."

Jane sat quietly for a moment, grateful that the refusal had not been made. She knew that Elizabeth was quite distraught and was probably not thinking clearly, yet she was faced with such an important decision, perhaps the most important of her life. Jane knew that her sister's future happiness was at stake and determined that she must give Elizabeth her best counsel.

"Do you think that is wise?" asked Jane thoughtfully. She knew she was treading on dangerous ground, but her conscience told her she must persuade Elizabeth to accept Mr. Grinly.

"What do you mean?" she countered, confused.

"To refuse him."

Elizabeth was left speechless for a moment. Her eyes grew wide and she felt her head begin to ache.

"Jane," she finally exclaimed, "do you truly think I should accept him?"

Emboldened by the question, Jane pressed the point. "Lizzy, do you like him?"

"Well ... I ... He is a pleasant man, I confess, and I do love Constance, I truly do, but Jane..."

"It may be that you would learn to love him in no time at all," interrupted her elder sister in a hurried way. And with an encouraging smile, she added, "You could move out of Longbourn and away from the society of our mother and sisters to your own estate. The three of you would settle very happily in your own family party at Sappingford."

There was a long, uncomfortable silence during which both sisters were uneasy. Jane, fearing she had said too much and Elizabeth, because her confidence in the correctness of her decision to refuse Mr. Grinly was giving way.

"But, Jane," whispered Elizabeth, "I do not love him. I do not know if I could ever love him."

"Why not, Lizzy?"

Jane knew that Elizabeth had not had time to develop any proper affection for Mr. Grinly, and perhaps it would take more time, but there was no reason why she could not come to love him.

"Because," sighed Elizabeth, "I am still in love with Mr. Darcy."

Jane shook her head in silent frustration. Mr. Darcy had hurt Elizabeth more than Jane had thought possible and now her attachment to him might cause her to give up the best chance for happiness she might ever have.

"I see," Jane said. After a moment's pause, she continued. "Has Mr. Darcy made you an offer?"

Elizabeth frowned. "No, you know he has not," she sighed. Every fiber of her being wished that this proposal had come from Mr. Darcy. If that were the case, the answer would be easy. There would be no pain or distress, no risk of regret, only happiness, unbounded happiness, but now there was only confusion and distress.

Jane pressed further. "And has he given you any reason to believe that he will come back? Does he love you?"

"No, Jane, I have not heard from him, but I know he loves me," said Elizabeth firmly. She wiped her eyes and tried to focus on the conversation. Jane was behaving very strangely. It was as if she were trying to convince her to accept Mr. Grinly. She had not expected Jane to try and persuade her to marry a man she did not love. For many years, as girls and as young women, they had confided in each other the secret wishes of their hearts. Above all, marrying for love was paramount.

"Is his behavior consistent with someone who loves you?" asked Jane calmly.

Elizabeth fastened her eyes onto Jane's face and bit her lip. "No."

"What about a letter? Has he sent you a letter?" Jane was not about to tell her of Mr. Darcy's note to Charles. Elizabeth would be encouraged by it, and hold onto her feelings for Mr. Darcy. In the note, Mr. Darcy had said nothing about coming back to her, just that he was admitting a mistake and that his feelings for Elizabeth were part of that mistake.

"I know he loves me, Jane!" cried Elizabeth. "I know he does!"

Jane paused, then asked, "Does he? Does he express his love for you by not coming back into Hertfordshire? There is nothing to prevent him, Lizzy. He is his own master."

Tears poured out of Elizabeth's eyes and down her cheeks.

"Jane!" Elizabeth cried. "Why are you doing this? Why are you saying these things?"

"Regardless of what you may feel, Lizzy," Jane said resolutely, "Mr. Darcy is not worthy of your love. And now here is Mr. Grinly, a man who does want you and will love you, who has asked for your hand, and you are ready to refuse him. And what is the reason? Because you nurse an affection for Mr. Darcy that is not returned."

Jane felt her own heart breaking. She had never used such language with Elizabeth and knew that she must be causing considerable pain. Yet what else could she do? She could not allow Elizabeth to walk away from Mr. Grinly's offer because of an infatuation for Mr. Darcy.

Elizabeth could not respond. Her heart was pounding as if it would escape her chest. She sat resolutely silent with her eyes clenched shut, rocking herself back and forth on the sofa.

Chapter 15

Posted on Thursday, 22 July 2004

While working in his library reading letters of business, Darcy's thoughts were carried back to the conversation he had had with Mr. Tilden concerning his daughter. He would never do that to Georgiana, and to satisfy himself, he determined to reassure Georgiana that he would not behave in a similar way. He went in search of her and found her in the music room in front of the pianoforte studying a new song she wished to learn.

He stood in the doorway and looked at her intently. Stepping out of the role of brother and guardian for a moment, he admitted to himself that she was a handsome young woman, and though she had a serious disposition, was pleasant and lively with those whom she knew well.

As he watched, she brushed a lock of hair away from her face with a movement of her hand that immediately summoned Elizabeth to his mind.

Elizabeth. He repeated her name, allowing the sound to roll of his tongue in a whisper. Though his opinion of Elizabeth and Miss Tilden was widely different, he considered, for a moment the similarities between their parents. There was Mrs. Bennet, so eager to obtain husbands for her daughters, throwing them at every man they encountered, and Mr. Tilden, who was so anxious for his daughter to marry well that he would buy her a husband. Where did discretion end and avarice begin?

Georgiana was still very young and he was not prepared to consider a husband for her, but the time would come, perhaps in the not too distant future, and he promised himself he would not behave as Mr. Tilden had done. He would not treat his sister like chattel.

Speaking softly that he might not startle her, he called her name. "Georgiana."

She set down her music and turned to him with a smile. "Fitzwilliam, I did not hear you. Come in"

"I am sorry if I am disturbing you," he said. He slowly approached her, then standing next to her, placed his hand on her shoulder. She rested her hand over his and squeezed it affectionately.

"You are sixteen now, my dear, and will soon be out. Have you given much thought to marriage?"

Georgiana glanced up at her brother with a surprised look.

"Marriage? I do not give it any thought at all. As you say, I am not out, so, no, I do not think on it," she responded somewhat cautiously. "Why do you ask?"

"You have a large dowry," he said. "Thirty thousand pounds is no insignificant sum. You once accused me of not being willing to pursue my affection for Miss Elizabeth Bennet because she had no dowry. The opposite is true with you. There are few larger. I am afraid that in the coming years you will meet young men who would seem to be trying to win your affection for love alone, but are really interested in marrying you for your fortune. Please be cautious and do not be fooled by these men. A man who would marry you for your money will never love you. Sometimes I regret that our father was so generous with you, because your dowry will always be of interest to unscrupulous individuals."

He sat down beside her on the bench. "I know it is my duty as your guardian to protect you from such men, but I cannot safeguard your heart. Should you lend your affection to a fortune-hunter, I may prevent the marriage but I cannot prevent the broken heart and pain you will suffer."

"What I have to say now is very private, but I trust your discretion." Darcy paused, and Georgiana looked at him expectantly. "Following my dinner at the Tildens, Mr. Tilden drew me into his study to discuss his daughter."

"What did he say?" asked Georgiana.

"He told me about Miss Tilden's dowry of twenty five thousand pounds and wanted me to understand that he would approve of a marriage between us. He told me he wanted a good match for his daughter, and would add an additional ten thousand pounds to her dowry to insure success. Georgiana, he was trying to bribe me into marrying his daughter."

"Does Miss Tilden know this?" she asked, quite shocked and alarmed.

"I am certain she had no idea of what we were speaking, but I would suppose that she is aware that her father will do anything he can to secure a match for her, except rely on her own good merits. I cannot tell you how disgusted I was. Had I ever felt any inclination for Miss Tilden I am certain I would no longer. I want you to know that I will never do anything like that to you," concluded Darcy.

"Well, Fitzwilliam, I will remember your advice, and I shall take pity on poor Miss Tilden. I assume she will not be allowed to make her own decisions regarding her future. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to make mine. I suppose that makes a woman like Miss Bennet very fortunate," stated Georgiana.

"In what way?" Darcy wondered how Georgiana had made the leap from Miss Tilden to Elizabeth.

"Without a dowry, she must know that the man who would propose marriage to her must truly love her."

Mr. Grinly was worried as he paced in the drawing room cradling the book he had been reading. He had heard from a servant that Elizabeth had left the house early on foot, though where she had gone was unknown. Now it was the afternoon and she was not back, yet her family did not seem to be concerned about her. The behavior of Elizabeth compared to the other three Miss Bennets, and even her mother, was very different. Whereas the latter seemed to be easily excitable, loud and indecorous, Elizabeth was the model of comportment. He suspected that the gulf in thoughtfulness and consideration was just as great. They seemed to care not at all for Elizabeth, who in his mind had been missing for half a day now. They were oblivious to her absence. He did not know whether it was appropriate for him to speak to Mrs. Bennet about it. To own the truth, he had hoped to talk with Elizabeth today and hear her answer to his proposal, but that could wait. As long as she was safe there would be plenty of time for talking.

In an effort to quell the anxiety he was feeling, he placed himself in a chair in front of a large window that overlooked the approach to the house. Satisfying himself that there was no one out front, he resumed his book and resolved to calm himself.

Having broken his resolution ten times in as many minutes, he was still surprised when a lone rider approached the house. The man was a liveried servant carrying a letter. Mr. Grinly heard a knock at the door, a brief conversation, and then the man mounted his horse and rode off. Having worked himself into a near panic, he resolved to speak with Mrs. Bennet immediately, but before he could remove from his chair, Mrs. Bennet herself entered the room.

"Mr. Grinly, I am so sorry. I am certain ... at least ... well, perhaps you have been waiting for Elizabeth," said Mrs. Bennet with a knowing smile. Mr. Grinly wondered for a moment if Elizabeth had spoken with her mother about his proposal, but he discarded the idea. If she were to speak to anyone about it, it would be with Mrs. Bingley.

He was correct. "Elizabeth spent the morning with Jane at Netherfield," continued Mrs. Bennet. "A servant just came to inform me that she has fallen ill and will not be returning until tomorrow. I know that you will be ... well ... I assume ... I thought..." Mrs. Bennet looked at Mr. Grinly trying to gauge his reaction to the news "...that perhaps you would want to know."

"Yes, thank you, ma'am. I hope she is not seriously ill." He spoke as calmly as possible, making every effort not to expose his feelings to Mrs. Bennet.

"There was no mention of it. I suspect she just wanted to spend some time with Jane, that is all," concluded Mrs. Bennet.

"But would she not have said that in her note?" he asked. His alarm was not abated.

"I see that you do not know Elizabeth well at all," said Mrs. Bennet. Mr. Grinly detected some resentment in her voice. "She walks here and there and goes running off for the longest time. Why, before Mrs. Bingley was married, she spent two weeks at Netherfield after falling and striking her head on a rock. She was unconscious for some of the time. I have told her that she should be more careful, but she never listens to me. I have told her she must not behave so recklessly if she wants a man to like her well enough to marry her. She must..."

"Mrs. Bennet," interrupted Mr. Grinly, who had difficulty in hiding his displeasure, "Miss Elizabeth is a lovely young woman. I am certain she will have no trouble in attaching any young man in whom she should take an interest."

Mrs. Bennet smiled at the thought. "You are very kind, sir." She handed him the note and walked off. He read it and found that it reported just what Mrs. Bennet had said. Returning to his chair, he wondered how a mother could say such things about her own daughter.

Mr. Grinly again opened his book, but he could not concentrate. He was not completely satisfied that something serious was not troubling Elizabeth. He did take comfort that she was with her sister and only hoped that he was not the cause of her distress.

After dispatching the note to Longbourn announcing Elizabeth's indisposition, Jane returned to her bedside. Jane was in agony over the words she had used with Elizabeth regarding Mr. Darcy. In her effort to crush Elizabeth's hopes for marriage with him, her spirit had been very much shaken. To comfort Elizabeth, Jane climbed onto the bed and lay herself next to her as she used to when they were children.

"Oh, Lizzy, I am so sorry. Please forgive me," Jane whispered. "I only want the best for you and now I have caused you all this distress." Jane caressed Elizabeth's cheek and brushed her fingers through her hair.

Elizabeth did not immediately respond, but felt her resolve returning as she was comforted by the affection and love of her dearest sister. At length, she spoke.

"Perhaps I should marry Mr. Grinly," Elizabeth whispered. "I know he is fond of me. He is a kind man and perhaps we could be happy together. I just wish I could love him more and Mr. Darcy less."

"Father, where is Elizabeth? Has she returned?" asked Constance. She, too, had noticed that her friend had been missing for a considerable period.

Mr. Grinly was now convinced that Elizabeth's absence was directly related to his proposal. Why else would she go to Netherfield so unexpectedly? He saw the look of worry in Constance's eyes and thought that perhaps he should never have told her about his plans, yet the decision concerned her, too.

"Mrs. Bennet received a note from Mrs. Bingley a short while ago," said her father. "Miss Bennet went to Netherfield this morning and has taken ill and will not be returning today."

"Is she going to be well?" Constance was concerned about her friend, and she was worried about her father.

"I know that Mrs. Bingley will do everything in her power to insure her sister's health and happiness." Mr. Grinly sat down on the sofa and took Constance's hand as she sat down with him. "I hope this has nothing to do with me. I hope that my proposal has not distressed her."

"Perhaps she needs this time away from us to make a decision. I cannot imagine that she would not love you, Father."

London

Dear Bingley,

I hope you are happy and well. I have no doubt that you are. I confess to some distress because I have not heard from you. Perhaps my last was misdirected. I rather believe, though, that you have chosen to ignore it. I cannot blame you. It is my fault that a breach has arisen between us and I deeply regret it. It is painful to me in every way.

I admire your strength of character. You withstood all my attacks and did what you knew to be right. Miss Bennet is very fortunate to have gained the love of such an honorable man. I apologize for my interference. What I thought was right for you was only my own selfishness. There is not a kinder, gentler creature than Miss Bennet and your marriage to her will bring you the highest degree of satisfaction and pleasure. You are married now. I should rather call her Mrs. Bingley.

I know our friendship is ruined, and I am sorry for it. I promise I will never fail you again should you ever decide to renew our acquaintance.

Sincerely,

F. Darcy

A shaft of light peeking through a gap in the curtains announced to Elizabeth that a new day had begun, a day that had arrived too quickly. Jane had stayed with her for quite some time and she had slept well, but now faced the prospect of discussing her future with Mr. Grinly. What that future should be she hardly knew. All that she could say with certainty was that she was completely bewildered.

After a late breakfast, and exhausting every excuse she could think of to delay the inevitable, Elizabeth declared that she must return home. Jane insisted that she use her carriage.

"And, Lizzy, I will come with you, if you would like," said Jane as they walked together towards the coach. "I know the others cannot give you much comfort."

"No, Jane. I can see no reason to take you from your husband," she said with a smile to Jane. "If Mr. Grinly truly loves me, he will wait for his answer until I am ready to give it." Jane could not argue with that.

"Whatever your decision," said Jane, "I will support you in it. If you would like to come back, please allow me to send the carriage for you. Please do not ever feel that you must walk to Netherfield."

"To make you happy I will. Goodbye, Jane." Elizabeth smiled a farewell and Mr. Bingley handed her into the carriage.

The ride back to Longbourn passed quickly for Elizabeth. Alone with her thoughts, she was able to compose herself.

She reviewed her conversation with Jane, who had told her that Mr. Darcy was not worthy of her love, that he had rejected her, and that she owed him nothing. She advised her to forget him and to not spurn the offer of a good man with whom the future would be bright, and with whom love would surely grow out of mutual respect and esteem. As Elizabeth approached Longbourn, she felt surrounded by a feeling of peace.

She arrived home to a quiet house. Mrs. Bennet, Kitty and Lydia had all gone into Meryton. As Elizabeth was passing through the hall, Constance happened upon her.

"Elizabeth! You have returned!" cried Constance. Elizabeth could see tears well up in her eyes and reached out to embrace her. "We were all so worried about you! Will you not tell me what happened?"

Elizabeth had just a moment to reflect on the irony of a comparative stranger welcoming her home with more enthusiasm than she could expect to receive from her own family. This thought brought Elizabeth both pleasure and pain as she remembered whose daughter Constance was and what Elizabeth could expect from her in the future, if there was a future.

"I am sorry, Constance, I did not want to alarm anyone. I am well enough now, though. How are you?"

"Relieved that you are back. My father has been very concerned since last night when you did not come down to dinner."

Elizabeth could make no response as the serenity she had achieved on the ride to Longbourn quickly faded into confusion.

Constance observed Elizabeth's change of countenance and led the conversation in another direction. "I must say it has been quiet here without you."

"Quiet? In this house?" laughed Elizabeth.

"Well, you are right. It is much noisier than Sappingford," agreed Constance.

"It must be very lonely for you there," Elizabeth observed seriously as she took Constance's arm and led her into the drawing room.

"It is, some of the time, but it would be so much happier there if you..." Constance covered her mouth with her fingers. "Oh!" She was about to bolt from the room when Elizabeth reached out and gently held her arm.

"Constance, please do not go. Come and sit with me."

Constance allowed Elizabeth to guide her to a sofa where they sat together and were silent while Elizabeth determined what should be said.

"Your father told you about the proposal of marriage he made me, did he not?" asked Elizabeth. She was not surprised. She believed that Mr. Grinly's concern for his daughter's feelings would lead him to reveal to her any plans he had for marriage.

Constance shook her head. "Are you angry that I know?"

"Of course not," assured Elizabeth. "You have had him all to yourself for a long time. Your father is very wise to have spoken to you about me. It concerns you almost as much as it does me, really. If I were to marry your father it would mean many changes for you."

"I am ready to share him, Elizabeth," said Constance. She pursed her lips, rallied her courage and continued. "He told me that you have not given him an answer yet, and that he asked you to wait before you do."

"That is true."

"Is that why you left yesterday and did not come back? Did he distress you?" asked Constance. This was a fear she shared with her father.

"He did not make me angry, but I was very upset. His proposal was ... it was so ... unexpected. All evening my mind was in a turmoil. I did not know what to say to him. The next morning I rose early after a sleepless night and walked to Netherfield to see my sister. The prospect of facing your father was daunting to me. I was quite overwhelmed. Rather than send me back to Longbourn she kept me. I had myself so distraught that I was ill. Jane was very kind and stayed with me."

"Why were you so upset?" asked Constance. That Elizabeth would react so intensely to her father's proposal was the furthest thing from her mind.

"I recently met a man whom I believed loved me, and I loved him, but he disappointed me, hurt my sister and betrayed his best friend. He has not come back, nor do I expect to see him again. Last night Jane persuaded me to believe that he was gone forever, and it was difficult for me to accept that."

"Do you still love him?" That Elizabeth's heart might be engaged elsewhere was something Constance had not considered.

"I do not know anymore," said Elizabeth.

"Does that mean you cannot love my father?" asked Constance.

This was really the crux of the matter, Elizabeth thought. If she truly believed that Mr. Darcy was gone forever, the only remaining question was whether she could love Mr. Grinly.

"No. It does not mean that at all."

"My father was distressed yesterday when you did not come back," said Constance. "He sat by the window holding a book, as if he were reading it, but he was waiting for your return. When the servant came with the note from Mrs. Bingley, he was relieved that you were with your sister, but further pained. He was convinced that his proposal was the reason why you did not come back. It appears that he was correct."

"I did not mean to hurt anyone, and especially not your father. He is a good man, Constance. You are so lucky to have him."

"He is a good man, Elizabeth, and I know he loves you. He will love you and take care of you the way you deserve," said Constance. She had also noticed the unfair treatment by her family under which Elizabeth suffered. "You will be happy at Sappingford. My father and I do not want to change you - just love you and join our lives with yours. Your life is the one that will bring us happiness. You will be surrounded by two people who will live to make you happy."

"I have much to learn, Elizabeth," she continued, "and if I had my choice, I would learn it from you - to be joyful and free as you are. I admire your cheerfulness, your smile, everything about you. You cannot imagine how grateful I am to you for the kindness you have shown me since we have been here. I never learned to do needlework until you showed me. I do not know how to play the pianoforte. We have one at home, which my father says is very fine. You could teach me and we could play together, and I will show you how to draw."

"Oh, Constance!" Elizabeth smiled at the thought of such domestic happiness.

"Elizabeth, if I can love you for all these things as your friend, imagine how much my father will love you as your husband. I know that Wiltshire is a long way from Hertfordshire, but I am sure we can travel here often and invite your family to Sappingford. We want to share your life, Elizabeth, not take it away from you."

Elizabeth could see that she spoke with all the sincerity of an honest heart and it further endeared Constance to her. As the idea of a closer connection between them was unfolded to Elizabeth, she knew she would welcome this relationship.

"Constance, what you have said means so much to me, I cannot tell you. You are a remarkable young woman to be able to express yourself so well. Your father is an extraordinary man to have brought you up to be so intelligent. But I am concerned..."

"About what?" she asked quickly.

Elizabeth smiled at her.

"Constance, I am concerned that your father is so much older than I am, and I am only six years older than you. Would he begin to treat me as a daughter and not a wife? Would I want to treat him as a father? And I feel daunted at the responsibility of helping to raise a young woman of fourteen. I feel I have nothing that I can teach you."

"My father loves you, Elizabeth. He is older than you, but not so much older that your relationship with him would ever change. I do not want you to be my mother. That is not what I need. I need a friend who will love me even when I am angry and upset, who will be patient as I continue to mature, and that will be my confidante after I come out and am introduced to young men. I need someone who can teach me how to love, and that will happen by example, by the way you love my father and he loves you."

"Your view of our life together is a happy one, to be sure. Do you think it would really be true? Does he really love me enough to put up with my moods and impertinence?" asked Elizabeth. She was only partially in jest. She knew she oftentimes pressed the bounds of decorum with her lively manners.

"He would put up with anything to have you," said Constance, "but, Elizabeth, from what I know of you, there would be very little to 'put up with,' as you say, and very much to love."

Elizabeth suddenly felt confined and uncomfortable. "This is all so new," she said, "and I do not know that I love him. I don't think that it is fair to him to marry him if I do not."

"He told me that he knows he is probably not what you expected in a husband. That is why he did not want your answer right away, so that you would have a chance to think about it. If you do not love him, could you?" asked Constance. In her heart, she was pleading with Elizabeth to accept her father.

Elizabeth was quiet for the longest time as she formulated an answer. "I believe I could come to love him. He is a good man. He has not told me if he loves me, but I believe he does."

"He does, Elizabeth. I know he does," cried Constance. She hoped her father's reserve in not expressing his feelings to Elizabeth would not prove to be a mistake.

"What would be our plans, if I were to accept your father?"

"He knows you would want to be married from Longbourn Church with all your friends and family. We would stay here until your marriage. After the wedding, I would stay here at Longbourn with your family, my family now, while you and father tour together for as long as you want. Then you would return for me for our trip to Sappingford and your new home."

Elizabeth could not help but smile. "It all sounds very nice, Constance," she said.

At that moment Mr. Grinly came into the drawing room.

"Am I intruding?" he asked. He was surprised to see Elizabeth, but did not let the emotion show on his face.

"No, Father, please come in. I was just leaving. Why do you not entertain Miss Bennet while I ask Mary to play the pianoforte for me."

"I would be happy to, Constance."

Elizabeth and Mr. Grinly remained still and quiet until Constance left the room. When he was certain they were alone, he took a few steps in Elizabeth's direction, but stopped in silent acknowledgement of the turmoil he saw in her eyes.

To Elizabeth, his appearance had been unanticipated, and while not disappointed in seeing him, she was surprised. She had thought that they might see each other later in the day.

"Miss Bennet," he said gently, "I am pleased to know that you are well and have returned home. I feared that I was responsible for your indisposition. My only consolation was that you were with your sister." Elizabeth knew from her conversation with Constance and her own observation that he had been upset by her absence.

She could not hide a look of guilt when she replied. "Mr. Grinly, please forgive me for making you uneasy. Please..."

"Elizabeth."

She turned away from him at the sound of her name.

Understanding her alarm, he stepped back away from her.

"To be honest," said Mr. Grinly, "I was surprised at the complaisance of your family regarding your absence." He could not help but voice his opinion. He wanted her to know that she had not been forgotten by everyone at Longbourn.

"I am sure they mean well, Mr. Grinly."

Elizabeth hesitated. Was now the time to talk with him? They were alone, to be sure. Her mother and sisters were away. Constance had left and Elizabeth knew she would not be seen again until sought by her father. Elizabeth could hear the sound of Mary's instrument and knew she would not be a disruption, either. There would be no better time.

Gathering up her courage, Elizabeth raised her eyes to him, and gesturing to the place Constance had occupied asked, "Would you care to sit with me?"

"Thank you." Mr. Grinly sat down next to her and began to hope. If she were bent on rejecting him, she would not allow him to be in such close proximity.

Elizabeth closed her eyes and chased away her anxiety. "Sir, I have given much thought to your proposal. I confess it was very ... unexpected."

She stood and walked away from him towards a window.

"I had to leave, sir, I had to speak with Jane. I did not know what to do or how to answer you, and during my conversations with her, I became very distraught, and she insisted that I remain at Netherfield for the night. I am sorry to have given you such worries, though I must say I am gratified at the same time. I take pleasure in knowing that somebody cares about me."

"I care very much, Elizabeth." Their eyes met, and their gaze held. In his look, he was communicating all that he felt for her, all his hopes and all his dreams. On her face, was a look of apprehension, and perhaps, uncertainty, which pained him to the soul.

She broke the silence. "Constance informed me that she is aware of your proposal."

"I felt that she should know," he said quickly. "I am sorry if that offends you. It was not my intention to..."

"No, you were right," she said. "The marriage of her father would make such an impact in her life, and bring so many changes, that it is entirely appropriate and kind of you to include her in your decision. We had quite a conversation concerning you. She is an intelligent, mature young woman and is a credit to your understanding and upbringing."

"Thank you, Elizabeth. She is the joy of my life." Grinly stood and joined her at the window.

"I fear for her," he said, "for she is alone, but seeing you with her has taught me to know that you would be not only a tender and loving wife to me, but a considerate friend and example of behavior to her. I love you for myself, Elizabeth, and I cannot help loving you even more for her sake."

Elizabeth became flushed with embarrassment from this declaration. It was the first time he had professed his love.

Mr. Grinly took her hand, which she willingly surrendered. "Elizabeth, I promise to love you for the rest of my life and beyond. I promise to treat you with kindness and respect. I am certain that you do not love me equally, but I know that you could. I know that we could be happy together. Sappingford will be joyful once again with the sound of your laughter. Please, Elizabeth, please have me. Please, will you marry me?"

Elizabeth felt the burden of her whole life's happiness on her shoulders. And she thought of Mr. Darcy.

She paused for a minute and felt her heart race at the thought. In the briefest instant, her whole relationship with that man passed before her eyes. She remembered the expression on his face when he first saw her awake, the conversation when they discussed their parent's deaths, and when she was with him by the stream. The memory of his kiss was immediately followed by a recollection of the pain he inflicted when he left her and tried to take Bingley away from Jane. All of it danced in her mind.

She looked up at Mr. Grinly, who was offering her everything Mr. Darcy would not, longing for her to be with him the way he had not, wanting her in the way he did not. Suddenly, it all seemed clear to her.

"Yes, Mr. Grinly," she whispered. "I will marry you."

Chapter 16

Posted on Saturday, 24 July 2004

The newly engaged couple took advantage of the relative solitude of the drawing room to speak of their future together and of all the happiness they anticipated in each other's society. She questioned him about her new home, and he replied in particular detail, describing the plan of the house, its rooms, their color and furniture, and speaking at great length on the comfort she could expect to receive from what would soon be her own apartments. Elizabeth was intrigued by the history of his home and family. He described the grounds and country around Sappingford as the prettiest in the kingdom and rejoiced in the pleasure she took in the prospects of being there with him. Although the house was beautifully appointed, it had not been refurnished in many years. He assured her that Sappingford would be at her disposal to decorate as she liked and hoped that she would soon feel quite at home there. Although Elizabeth could not imagine how such a fine home could be improved, she was certain that she would be very comfortable in no time at all.

With each word they spoke, Elizabeth experienced a thrill of excitement in the anticipation of her marriage and the enjoyment of their mutual affection. This, of course, led to questions on her part as to when was the precise moment he fell in love with her and why he made her his choice. These were questions he was very happy to answer.

"I first noticed your gentle manner with Constance," he said. "I could not but be moved by witnessing the particular attention with which you favored her. Everyday I was hearing new reports from her about the manner in which you taught her and entertained her. Constance told me she loved everything about you. As you are aware, she is generally a shy, reserved young woman, and so I was surprised to hear her vocalize such sentiments about anyone, though in your case," he smiled, "they are wholly deserved."

A blush spread over Elizabeth's cheeks. "Mr. Grinly, please..."

He interrupted her and smiled, "Elizabeth, you will just have to grow accustomed to hearing good things spoken about you."

He continued. "I began to watch you whenever I could, to learn for myself how you interacted with my daughter, and what I witnessed truly pleased me. At first I saw you as friends, but it occurred to me that you were treating her with the same care, gentleness and kindness that were characteristic of your relationship with your elder sister, Mrs. Bingley. Your behavior, and what I heard from Constance, convinced me that your relationship with her was not that of just an acquaintance, but one of sincere regard and attachment. Constance blooms when she is in your company. All shades of reserve are put aside and I see true joy in her countenance."

"Do you recall," he asked her, "the occasion of Mrs. Bingley's first visit to Longbourn after her marriage?"

He looked at her expectantly.

"Yes, I do," she replied.

"After we had all been introduced, I had the pleasure of being seated near her. You were across the room with Constance and so I was free to talk about you with your sister. I remarked to her on the improvements I had witnessed in Constance as a result of your kind attentions to her. Mrs. Bingley spoke of the nature of your relationship together and pronounced you to be her best friend. She said that every room was made cheerful by your laughter and happy disposition. I looked over to you and you were laughing, and I realized that I felt the same way. The same charm with which you captured Constance's heart was working on me and as I observed your relationship with her, with its closeness and tenderness, I realized that I wanted that for myself."

Elizabeth listened with a smile. Every word he spoke confirmed to her how important she was to him and filled her with gratitude for his assurances of love.

He raised her hand to his lips and kissed her fingers.

"Perhaps I spoke too soon, but I believed that you would never consider me as a prospective husband until the thought was first placed in your mind, and I determined that I would place that thought there. I was disappointed, but not surprised when you did not answer me immediately. Indeed, I feared that such an answer would be a resounding rejection. The suspense of not knowing my future, then finding that you were ill at your sister's home, and that I was the probable cause of it, made last night one of the most miserable of my life."

Elizabeth was horrified as she considered how he had interpreted her actions of the preceding night.

"I am so sorry," cried Elizabeth. "Please ... you must believe... it was not my intention ... I did not mean to hurt you or make you uncomfortable. It was all so new and unexpected. I had to talk to Jane. All I could think about was speaking with Jane."

She felt shamed and turned away from him, silent and despondent. He stepped close behind her and put his arms around her. Grateful for his touch, she folded her arms, resting her hands over his.

"It must have been a difficult time for you, Elizabeth," he whispered. "The suddenness of my application must have troubled you, and I perfectly understand your need to speak with her." And with a heavy, sad voice he added, "I just wish I had known with a certainty where you were and that you were safe and cared for."

She turned back to him. He noticed that a tear had stained her cheek.

"I was safe, sir, and I was cared for," she assured him. "But I was so confused. I did not know what to feel. Jane and I spoke all day and into the night. I was very upset. Jane refused to let me return to Longbourn that evening."

He raised his hand and traced the outline of the tear with his finger and then rested his hand against her cheek. She turned into it and kissed his palm.

"Your kind mother," said Mr. Grinly as he withdrew his hand, "gave me the note Mrs. Bingley had sent announcing that you would not be returning, and I was comforted by knowing where you were and with whom.

She took his hand in both of hers and felt the hurtful memories of the past day become lessened just by being with him.

"As the time passed," said Elizabeth, "and Jane and I continued to discuss your proposal, our future prospects, the expectations for happiness that I could reasonably expect as your wife and the companion of Constance, I became comfortable with the idea of being sought by you as a wife. Jane spoke very favorably of the match, and in just a little time, I began to take the greatest pleasure in the thought of being married to you, though I did feel some uncertainty. I felt as if I had not known you for long, yet I could not be untouched by your feelings for me."

"When I returned to Longbourn," she continued, "I first encountered Constance, and we sat quite a while together in the drawing room. She shared with me the hopes and dreams she had for me and assured me of your love and affection and helped me overcome the remaining objections I had to a match with you. I was concerned about how much younger I am than you and how that might affect our relationship. I was also uncertain how I might accomplish my role as a friend and teacher for Constance, who is at a very delicate time of life."

She favored him with a smile and continued.

"When you came in and you poured out your heart to me and again proposed, I was prepared to hear you. I knew that my own happiness would be secured by marrying you and I committed at that moment to make certain that I ensured your happiness. I am so pleased with the prospect of spending the remainder of my life with you."

He kissed her hand. "You cannot imagine," he said softly, "how happy it makes me to hear that."

They were silent for a moment. He was too moved by her assurances to speak and she was reflecting on the events of the past two days. She came to understand that during his first proposal he had planted in her heart the seed of love. During her deliberations with Jane it had grown, and with his second proposal it blossomed. She knew she would be happy.

Their conversation passed to lighter subjects. His declaration of happiness because of her gave them both reason to seek a moment to compose themselves.

"Where would you like to go on a bridal tour?" Mr. Grinly asked of Elizabeth.

"I confess, sir," she replied, "that I have not thought of it."

"Other than the Gardiners," he said, "I do not know whom we might visit. Is there anywhere in particular you would like to go?"

Elizabeth had not given any thought to a tour of any kind, but after thinking for a moment, she recalled a wish from her childhood.

"Would you be willing to take me to the sea, perhaps into Kent?"

He smiled. "I would be very happy to take you there."

This conversation took place in the drawing room in front of a large window overlooking the lawn and grounds surrounding Longbourn. The couple continued to discuss the minutest details of their relationship. It was a subject of insatiable interest to them. At one point Mr. Grinly paused, then made a request of fiancée.

"Elizabeth," he asked, "will you please call me by my Christian name, Thomas?"

He wished to hear her pronounce his name, but the request masked another purpose. He felt that her acquiescence would be a further indication of the ease and comfort she felt with him. Despite her apparent pleasure in having accepted his suit. The difficulty she had experienced in determining to accept him was troubling.

"Yes, Mr. Grinly," she laughed. And then she looked up at him with a full heart. "Yes, Thomas, I will," she said gently.

He released the hand he had been holding and reached up to caress her cheek. She smiled and closed her eyes, basking in the warmth of his touch. She opened her eyes when he withdrew his hand and she saw a look of passion that filled her with expectation. In an energized moment their lips came together. At first it was a light touch, for he was uncertain what her response might be. He did not want to make her uncomfortable, but when she put her hand on his shoulder and leaned towards him, he wrapped his arms around her waist and held her close.

The relief he experienced as she encouraged him removed the anxiety and uncertainty he had felt in wondering if she had truly decided in his favor. As he stood with her now, embracing her and kissing her, he realized he had never known such joy.

Elizabeth released herself from his embrace and turned away from him with her eyes downcast. She had longed and hoped for that same feeling of passion and desire that Mr. Darcy had created within her when he kissed her by the stream. She wanted so desperately to feel that same hunger with Mr. Grinly, knowing that if she did, she could honestly give herself to him. But he did not elicit that same desire, and she was left feeling nothing.

Unfortunately for the couple, but fortunate for propriety's sake, they heard the front door open and Mrs. Bennet and her daughters come running through the house. Elizabeth and Mr. Grinly separated just as her mother walked into the room. They stepped to a couch, and sat down next to each other.

A smile lit up Mrs. Bennet's face. She had seen them together through the window and had witnessed their embrace, and the expressions of embarrassment that now colored their cheeks left no doubt as to their situation. She sat down in a chair opposite them and increased their embarrassment by studying them closely. At last, she spoke.

"Do you two have anything you wish to tell me?"

Mrs. Bennet could barely contain her excitement. It was a pleasure to think of having two daughters well married to rich gentlemen. She congratulated herself on having invited Mr. Grinly to Longbourn and only wished there were another cousin to introduce into the family.

Mr. Grinly rose to his feet. "Madam," he said nervously, "may I speak with you in private? I have something I would ask of you." Elizabeth rose as if to leave the room.

"Lizzy, my love, please do not run off," said Mrs. Bennet. Then turning her attention to Mr. Grinly, she asked, "Mr. Grinly, is what you have to say to me anything that Lizzy may not hear?"

It was perhaps inappropriate for a woman to witness her future husband request the consent of a parent, but he would say nothing that would offend. Indeed, it was an opportunity to further express his feelings for her in his address to her mother.

"Well..."

Mrs. Bennet interrupted him. "Very well. What is it you wish to ask me?" Her demeanor was one of excitement and pleasure as she looked on him.

Mr. Grinly reached for Elizabeth's hand.

"Mrs. Bennet," he paused, sharing a knowing glance with Elizabeth, "during my visit to Longbourn, I have experienced greater joy than I have ever known by being in the company of your family, and particularly with one member of it, to whom I have become seriously attached. I have spoken with her and have learned that she reciprocates the love and affection I have for her, and she has pledged her love to me for the rest of her life. I have asked for Elizabeth's hand in marriage and she has accepted me, and I am now asking you for your consent to our union and your blessing on it."

Elizabeth was touched by this declaration and squeezed his hand.

Mrs. Bennet squealed with delight. "Oh, I knew how it would be. Oh, Lizzy, I am so happy for you. And Mr. Grinly, I know that Lizzy will make a proper wife for you. She will be nothing to Jane, of course, but just the same, I am so pleased that she will be settled so well."

Elizabeth was ashamed of her mother's outburst and looked away, though it was nothing more than she expected. She knew that Mr. Grinly would weather it well. He had demonstrated nothing but respect for her mother despite her faults and knew that his feelings for herself were not affected by the behavior of her mother and sisters. She was exceedingly grateful for this. She also knew that she would be grateful to go first to Kent and then to Wiltshire where she would find superior society in the company of her new husband and daughter.

"I assume," asked Mr. Grinly, addressing Mrs. Bennet, "that I have your consent?"

"Yes, Mr. Grinly, you certainly do," she replied. "Here, let me give you a kiss." He endured it admirably. She added, "I am so happy! Lizzy, I am going to go into Meryton to tell my sister Phillips, Lady Lucas and the Longs all about your engagement. I will go by Netherfield, too."

"Mama, will you please let me tell Jane? I want her to hear it from me," asked Elizabeth. This was important to her. Her engagement to Mr. Grinly was, in part, the result of Jane's advice, and just as Jane had broke the news of her engagement first to Elizabeth, she desired the opportunity to be the first to announce hers to Jane.

"Oh, very well," said Mrs. Bennet. "I'll call for the carriage and set you as far as Meryton."

"Thank you, Mama." Mrs. Bennet ran off to get ready. Elizabeth turned to Mr. Grinly.

"Thomas, I would like you to be with me when I tell Jane of our engagement. Will you come?" she asked.

"Yes, love, I will." Elizabeth acknowledged him with a kiss on his hand.

"We should tell Constance. She will be delighted," said Mr. Grinly. "Will you go to her with me?"

"Yes, Thomas. I would truly like to be there when she first hears of our news," said Elizabeth. She knew that Constance would eagerly approve of their engagement and anticipated with pleasure the joy she would express on learning of it.

Grinly offered Elizabeth his arm, and they left the drawing room and moved towards the staircase. As they approached the stairs, he noticed that they were quite alone. He stopped walking and pulled her close to him.

"Thank you, Elizabeth, for accepting me."

"It is my pleasure, sir," she said. She watched him draw near her and soon felt his lips on hers. For a moment she forgot herself in the feeling of protection she experienced while he kissed her. She pulled away from him with a smile and then embraced him, resting her head on his shoulder. She felt him put his arms around her.

Elizabeth felt herself to be very happy, but in that moment of exultation her joy was suddenly darkened as a memory of Mr. Darcy intruded on her peace of mind. She felt herself grow very sad, very quickly. Mr. Grinly's kiss reminded her of Mr. Darcy, and her eyes began to burn and she could not hold back a sob. She clung to Mr. Grinly, grateful that she was not alone with such thoughts.

Mr. Grinly increased in her esteem by his response to her distress. He did not ask her what was wrong or try to determine its cause, but merely held her, stroked her hair and was silent.

She relaxed against him and squeezed her eyes shut. Nearly as fast as it came, the feeling passed and she was able to compose herself again.

"I am sorry."

"Shh..." was his only reply.

She remained in his arms, determined that she would never again think about Mr. Darcy or let him ruin her happiness with Mr. Grinly.

"Thank you," she said. Wiping her eyes while she looked up at him, she said, "I will be fine."

"Come in," said Constance, responding to a knock on her door. Convinced that Mary would remain at her instrument for a great while longer, she felt secure in leaving her there and retiring to her own bedchamber. She knew that her father would seek her out after his interview with Elizabeth.

Elizabeth and Mr. Grinly stepped together in the room, their faces brightened by conscious smiles.

Constance was all curiosity. "Yes, Father?"

She noticed immediately that her father was holding Elizabeth's hand, and happy ideas came immediately into her mind.

"Constance," he said, "Miss Bennet," Elizabeth pressed his hand, "er ... Elizabeth," he stuttered, "has consented to be my wife."

Constance jumped off the bed, ran to her father and threw her arms around him. Tears filled her eyes.

"Oh, Father, I am so happy for you! Elizabeth, thank you so much! Thank you! I know we will all be happy together!" She turned to Elizabeth and gave her a kiss.

"We will, Constance," agreed Elizabeth. Constance's satisfaction with the engagement served to increase the joy Elizabeth felt. It confirmed to her that her decision to marry Mr. Grinly was correct.

"When shall you be married?" asked Constance. All her hopes for Elizabeth were being accomplished.

"We have not really discussed it," answered Elizabeth, "but if there are no objections," she said, turning to Mr. Grinly, "within the month. I can see no reason to wait. We shall be the happiest family in the world!"

Mr. Grinly was very much in agreement and the few minutes that they waited for the carriage were spent answering Constance's inquiries into the minute details of Mr. Grinly's proposal and Elizabeth's acceptance of it.

Every kind word and every gentle embrace spoke to Elizabeth's heart and she felt she had every reason to be happy.

Elizabeth and Mr. and Miss Grinly walked briskly from Meryton to Netherfield. It was a relief to be out of the carriage and away from Mrs. Bennet's constant chatter about fine weddings, lace and satin.

They walked up to the entrance to Netherfield with Elizabeth on one side of Mr. Grinly and Constance on the other. He knocked on the door. It was opened by the housekeeper, Mrs. Thomas.

"We are come to call on Mr. and Mrs. Bingley," said Elizabeth with an excited voice.

"Of course, Miss Bennet," said Mrs. Thomas. "Please come into the drawing room."

The party followed Mrs. Thomas into the drawing room where Jane happened to be sitting. Seeing that Elizabeth was still holding on to Mr. Grinly's arm, Jane anticipated the happy news she knew she was about to receive.

"Jane, you know Mr. and Miss Grinly, of course," said Elizabeth. Jane curtsied to them and then looked expectantly at Elizabeth.

"We have some news. Jane, Mr. Grinly and I are to be married!"

Jane rushed over to Elizabeth and embraced her. "Oh, Lizzy, how wonderful! I know you will be so happy!"

Mr. Bingley chose that moment to walk into the room. "Welcome, Elizabeth. Good morning, sir," he said, addressing Mr. Grinly."

"Mr. Bingley," said Elizabeth shyly while Jane looked on, "let me introduce you to my fiancé, Mr. Thomas Grinly."

"Fiancé? Really! Congratulations! What a pleasure, sir, and welcome to the family," cried Bingley. A hearty handshake for Mr. Grinly confirmed his goodwill. Constance received her congratulations with delight and was every moment more and more pleased with the prospects of belonging to such a family. Bingley shook off the emotion caused by the memory of the passion he saw in Elizabeth's eyes when she used to look at Darcy, a passion that he did not see now.

Jane invited them to sit and be comfortable and then sent a servant for tea, after which she addressed Elizabeth.

"While we are waiting, may I speak with you, Lizzy?" She spoke in a serious, urgent voice, not consistent with the mood of the occasion.

Elizabeth glanced up at her with some surprise. "Of course, Jane, what..."

"Please, follow me," whispered Jane as she quickly stood up.

"Very well" was Elizabeth's confused reply. She rose from the couch she was sharing with Mr. Grinly and followed Jane from the room.

Mr. Grinly watched them leave, somewhat disconcerted by their sudden exit. He hoped that Mrs. Bingley would accept and approved of him. He knew that Elizabeth relied heavily on her opinion.

Elizabeth and Jane removed to a small sitting room and sat down together.

"Well?" asked Elizabeth, uncertain as to what the answer to that inquiry might bring. She wanted Jane to be happy for her. She needed Jane's confidence and support.

"I am sorry to take you away from your Mr. Grinly," said Jane apologetically, "but I must talk with you. Lizzy, I am very happy for you and so pleased that you came to a decision about Mr. Grinly, and I want you to know that I think it was the correct one. I like Mr. Grinly very much and I know you will be very happy with him," said Jane with a reassuring smile. "And I know that he loves you. I can tell by the way he looks at you."

"Thank you, Jane. I am sure we will be happy," said Elizabeth. Jane's confidence in her happiness was a great comfort to Elizabeth.

"But how I will miss you, Lizzy! You will be living so far away from me," Jane added with a sad smile. Her sadness, however, was quickly defeated by Elizabeth's enthusiasm.

"Thomas said that you would all be invited to Sappingford and the we would travel into Hertfordshire often," said Elizabeth. "Will you write to me?"

Jane laughed. "Only if you promise to write to me."

"You know I will, Jane," said Elizabeth.

"I know how upset you were yesterday," said Jane, "and how strong your feelings were for Mr. Darcy. Are you sure you love Mr. Grinly as you ought?"

"I do love him, Jane," replied Elizabeth. "I know I can be happy with him, and that I will soon love him even more. They both love me so dearly, Jane, and it is impossible not to love Constance."

"Have you no thoughts about Mr. Darcy?" Jane felt this question, this conversation, was more for Elizabeth's benefit than her own. She wanted Elizabeth to speak aloud the words that would put Mr. Darcy in her past and Mr. Grinly in her present and future.

"I have come to your way of thinking, Jane. If Mr. Darcy loved me, I would be preparing to marry him, not Mr. Grinly," said Elizabeth. "I shall soon cease to think of him at all."

"Then I am happy for you, Lizzy." Jane took her hand. "I am sure Mrs. Thomas has tea ready for us. Let us go back in," said Jane. "We do not want to keep the others waiting."

Mr. Grinly was anxiously awaiting their return, hoping for some indication of how their conference went by the expressions on their faces, particularly Elizabeth's. When the ladies walked into the room, they both looked at Mr. Grinly, one with a smile, the other with a look of affection. He was satisfied. All would be well.

Netherfield

Dear Darcy,

I appreciate very much your recent letters, and I do accept your apology. Let us speak of it no more.

As far as Jane is concerned, you must believe me when I tell you that I am very happy with her as my wife. She fills my life with love and excitement and makes each day a precious experience for me. I only hope that someday you will be as blessed as I.

Unfortunately, my wife is still rather angry with you. She feels that you were trifling with Elizabeth and I confess that I also am disturbed by your actions. You had your reasons, though, and I am confident, because of circumstances that have just occurred, that this too will soon be forgotten.

It is to this effect. Elizabeth has consented to marry Mr. Thomas Grinly, of Wiltshire. He is a distant cousin of hers. Mrs. Bennet invited him and his daughter to visit, and they have been at Longbourn since my wedding. While it was a short courtship, Jane believes that Elizabeth is genuinely in love with him. It is obvious that Mr. Grinly loves her very much.

From what Jane has told me, Elizabeth did love you, and I know that you loved her, and perhaps you still do. Mr. Grinly does not know about you or your history with his fiancée and it is preferable for all that it remains this way.

Mrs. Bingley extends an invitation to you to come to Netherfield. She knows I miss your company. It is conditional, though, for she has assured me that you will be asked to leave the house immediately if you make any attempt to endanger Elizabeth's happiness with Mr. Grinly. Though you are my lifelong friend, my first allegiance is to my wife and her family, particularly Elizabeth, whom I admire very much. Please come to us, but I beg of you, stay away from Elizabeth.

With regards, &c.

Charles Bingley

A footman brought Darcy a letter, and he began to smile in anticipation as he saw the directions. It was from Netherfield. It could only mean one thing. Bingley had accepted his apology and wished to renew their friendship. He quickly tore open the seal with an expectation of pleasure. The letter was short and did not take long to read.

"NO!!" he screamed. "NO! No, no..." His voice trailed off to nothing.

Georgiana had been working quietly in the drawing room when she heard her brother's cry. Alarmed, she ran to the library and breathlessly entered the room.

For a moment she did not know whether he was dead or alive. He had collapsed in his chair, his head bent low over his desk and was not moving, but when he heard Georgiana enter further into the room, he looked up at her. His hair was disheveled and his eyes looked wild.

"Fitzwilliam, what is it?! What is wrong? Please tell me!" She was shocked at the sight of him. Agony was written over his face.

"Georgiana..." he groaned.

His head fell back onto his arms.

"Georgiana! Georgiana!"

He looked up again, staring at her, but his eyes were not seeing her. If she had never known fear before, she did so now. Never had she witnessed such an outpouring of emotion from him. Never had she seen him so distraught.

"Oh, Brother, what is it?" she cried.

She ran behind his desk and knelt in front of his chair and embraced him. She was startled when she felt herself suddenly encircled about by his strong arm and crushed against his chest.

"Georgiana," he whispered.

"Fitzwilliam, please..." She could not finish her sentence. He released her, lifted her to her feet and pushed her back an arm's length.

"You shall know all." He handed her the crumpled letter.

She took it from his hand, smoothed it out and began to read. It was astonishing, and she never would have thought it possible, but Fitzwilliam had somehow offended Mrs. Bingley. Darcy and Bingley had been friends forever. What could possibly have happened?

She continued reading, and her own heart nearly stopped when she read, - "Elizabeth has consented to marry Mr. Thomas Grinly..."

Elizabeth Bennet was to be married! It was no small wonder that he had called out. His pain was understood, though not comprehended.

"Fitzwilliam ... I am so very sorry." Georgiana stepped behind him and put her hands on his shoulders. She could feel the tension in his body. His muscles were tied up in knots.

"Oh, Georgiana, I do not know what to do." Darcy took her hand from his shoulder and held it against his cheek. "I do not know what to do," he repeated. "I love her."

He was then silent, and the ensuing pause was horrible to Georgiana.

In a voice filled with anger, he continued. "I have failed her and I have failed myself! She cannot love him, for I know she loves me, yet I have driven her into his arms. He will take her from Hertfordshire, she will forget about me and I shall never see her again."

Darcy buried his face in his hands, and Georgiana could feel his body quake with emotion as she felt her own heart breaking. She had never seen such pain before nor experienced it herself. How was she to relieve his suffering? What could she do for him?

The truth was awful. She could do nothing. There was no telling how long he would suffer because of his actions and mourn her loss. Indeed, Miss Bennet was now dead to him, the only woman he ever loved.

"I blame myself and my own stupid pride! Had I followed my heart, had I done what I knew to be correct, rather than striven to live up to the expectations of other people - our parents, our dead parents - if I had done this, she would be mine and I would be filled and made whole because of her."

A sob racked his body.

"I realized my mistake too late, forever too late."

Georgiana realized he was no longer aware of her presence. She looked at him with tear filled eyes until it became too much for her, then she quietly slipped out of the room, unable to bear his anguish any longer.

Elizabeth was leaning on Mr. Grinly's arm as they walked through the garden at Longbourn. She felt liberated from the pain of her affection for Mr. Darcy, knowing that she had relinquished him. The air was fresh, the sun invigorating and she felt loved: loved by Constance, and even more so by Thomas.

"Elizabeth," asked Mr. Grinly, "have you ever been into Kent?" He had placed his free hand over hers and was enjoying the softness of her skin.

"No, Thomas. Except to go to London to stay with my aunt, I have never traveled beyond the neighborhood of Meryton. I have heard that Kent is a beautiful place. My childhood friend, Charlotte, lives there and tells me it is very pretty."

"It is," he assured her. "Many years ago, Julia and I went..." Mr. Grinly interrupted himself, deeply mortified. "I am sorry."

Elizabeth pulled on his arm to stop their progress. His eyes were fastened on the ground as he tried to recover from embarrassment. Elizabeth focused on his face, watching emotions of pain and regret play across his features. She took his hand with both of hers.

"Thomas," Elizabeth began in a soothing, nurturing voice, "I am very sorry she died, but please do not be afraid to speak of her to me. I am not afraid that you will love me any less."

These words were exactly calculated to calm his misgivings. He took those same hands and kissed them. "Indeed, my love, I know nothing about 'less' when it comes to loving you."

She smiled her approval and felt that with every minute she spent with him, her confidence increased and her commitment deepened.

Darcy spent a tormented night reviewing each false step he had made in his relationship with Elizabeth. It had started off well enough, to be sure. Watching over her and caring for her while she was at Netherfield had been an exquisite pleasure. He remembered loving her even while she slept, entranced by her beauty and the delicacy of her skin. And then she had awakened and confirmed the desire that had inflamed him. He loved the feeling that there was nothing on the earth but that room, Elizabeth, and himself. Her eyes, her laugh, the sound of her voice, all spoke to his heart. He could see love in her eyes and a return of the passion he felt for her.

As each opportunity had afforded itself, he had watched Elizabeth unobserved and drew an indelible picture of her form and expression in his mind. Now as he struggled to sleep, he saw her standing before him as richly as the day he came upon her at the stream, the day he had held her, loved her and kissed her. Unconsciously he inhaled, drawing in the memory of her scent as he sat next to her on that rock in the stream caressing her cheek. The taste of her lips was fresh on his tongue.

He awoke with a start from a familiar dream. He had returned to Netherfield and she had met him once again by the stream, his eyes following her progress as she approached him with outstretched arms. Just in the very moment when he reached out to take her hand, her imaged faded and he could see nothing. Every night it had been the same.

He had never opened his heart to anyone the way he had to Elizabeth when he spoke of his parents. He had never even spoken to Georgiana in such a manner. But with Elizabeth, it seemed so natural. He remembered the comfort he had received from holding her hand. She strengthened him. With her he was a better man. The love she had for him had overcome the bitter loneliness he had felt since the death of his parents. It excited every good thought that came to his mind, and to be worthy of her love, he resolved to be a more attentive brother, a more loyal friend, to look compassionately at the world around him and put aside cynicism and distrust. He had resolved to do all these things, and he had failed utterly.

Why had he let her go?

Now he was desolate and felt her loss immeasurably. What was worse was that he could not accept her loss. He loved her and she belonged to him, yet how could he feel possessive of that which he never possessed?

How could he face the future with the pain that he felt, the pain of his own creation, the pain of not having Elizabeth? How could he despise himself enough for turning against her? All she wanted was to love him. When she looked in his eyes, she concealed nothing that was in her heart. There was not sufficient hate in the world to describe his self-loathing

Knowing full well that he deserved every wretched feeling he would be called on to endure, Darcy left London for Hertfordshire. He told himself he was going to repair his relationship with Bingley, but he knew he was going there to see Elizabeth. He wanted to know if she really loved Mr. Grinly or it if were all a mistake of his own making. Indeed, Darcy knew that he did not deserve her, but if he were to see the slightest indication that she truly did not love Grinly, he would fight to prove himself worthy of a second chance.

Darcy had answered Bingley's letter and was now on the road to Netherfield. It was a noisy ride. Each time he grew comfortable or became lost in thought, a rock would dash against the underside of the carriage or the coach would jar its way over a rut. All he wanted to do was sleep. All he could do was remember.

Continued In Next Section