Beginning, Previous Section, Section IX, Next Section

Chapter 30, Part 1

Posted on Tuesday, 21 August 2001, at 12:14 a.m.

Fly along with me I can't quite make it alone/ Try to make this life my own ~ 'Learn to fly' by the Foo Fighters.

Mr Collins was almost thrown out of the boat after Kitty as the boat dipped down, but he managed to regain his balance, just.

Lydia's eyes widened in fright as she watched her sister plunge overboard. "Kitttttttttttyyyyyyy." She shrieked, trying to grab her sister, as Kitty disappeared under the water.

It took only a split second, for Ash's brain to register the accident, before he had hit the water. Lord Douglas had stood up to yell at Mr Collins to sit down, and fell out of the boat, once Ash had dove off it. Lord Holling grabbed onto the side of the boat as it rocked dangerously, trying not to drop the oars.

Mr Yeates fearing that Lydia was about to go overboard pulled her back.

"Let me go." Lydia shrieked kicking at Mr Yeates.

"Don't kick me!" Mr Yeates protested, finding it very uncomfortable to be trying to control an angry girl.

Lydia saw the sense in this and scrambled to her feet and with one vicious right hook, decked Mr Collins, who slumped back unconscious into the boat.

Lord Holling, had manoeuvred the boat closer to the other boat, and leant over the side.

"Where is she?"

Lord Douglas splashed around wildly. 'I don't know" he yelled back.

"I've got her." Came a third voice, breaking through the water. Ash was splashing about in the water, trying to hold a limp Kitty in his arms.

"Here, bring her to the boat." Called Lord Holling. However he leant just a little bit too far in his haste to pull Kitty to safety and capsized the boat.

Annabelle ran sobbing to the beach. Miles didn't love her. She hardly noticed the commotion that had suddenly erupted on the shore.

"Oh my god!" came a shriek from the Duchess.

Annabelle suddenly felt herself rudely shoved aside as Miles ran past her. Annabelle blinked away her tears to see what has happening and gasped. Miles had dashed into the water, meeting the group of wet men at about waist depth. Annabelle stared, at what appeared to be a limp bundle that they were carrying. Miles took over the carrying of it, and was wading back to shore. It was only at that time that Annabelle realised they were carrying a person, and that person was Kitty.

"Kitty." She gasped and unconsciously started to move towards the shore before she was restrained. Turning she saw her grandmother holding her, the Duchess had gone a very deathly shade. Alarmed Annabelle grasped her grandmother's shoulders.

"Grandmamma, are you all right?"

The Duchess just continued to shake her head vacantly.

Miles lay down his burden onto a blanket that Miss Smart had quickly lain down.

Wickham raced down from the road.

"I've called for the doctor."

Ash struggled the last bit out of the water, gasping. "You - called - ..."

Wickham put a supporting arm around Ash. "I've sent for the doctor."

Ash thrust Wickham off, and sank down onto his knees next to Kitty's lifeless body.

"Kitty??!!??" Ash attempted to shake some life into her.

"For god's sake Ash." Cried Lord Holling grabbing at his cousin.

"Wake up! Wake Up!"

"Stop it!" hissed Lord Holling trying ineffectually to haul Ash up from the scene.

Miles looked at the pale face and then looked at his friend. His attention was brought back to Kitty as she suddenly painfully coughed up water. Her eyes flew open, but she didn't appear to recognise anyone.

"Kitty?"

Miles rubbed the pale, limp hand. "Miss Bennet? Can you hear me?"

"Lord Upton?" said Kitty weakly, her vision swimming in front of her.

"That's my girl." Smiled Miles. Miles shot a look at Ash. "She's going to be okay."

"Here, Lord Upton, take her into the barouche. I think the best thing to do is get her home immediately." Miss Smart bobbed around in the background.

"Very wise Miss Smart." Replied Miles, picking a still dazed Kitty up and carrying her towards the road.

Ash gave a deep sigh, and a short prayer of thanks. A wave of relief washed over him, then a sense of reality hit him. Ash looked out of the corner of his eye at Lord Holling, then out the other corner of his eye at the group of picnickers looking shocked at the unfolding events. He slowly got to his feet, and turned towards Lord Douglas who was still dripping water.

"On a scale of one to ten, how much of fool did I just make of myself?"

"Well....umm" Lord Douglas put a hand through his wet curls shaking water everywhere and grinned. "I'd say you were off the scale. But I think they are in shock, no one will notice."

Ash shook his head and walked off in the direction of the carriage.

Miles carefully positioned Kitty in the carriage, while Miss Smart wrapped her in blankets.

"Good thing Mama hates to be cold." Said Miss Smart with a small smile.

Miles gave Miss Smart an odd look, and then shook his head. He wasn't going to debate the reasoning behind this kindness in her. Just like there were men who he'd despise ever having to talk to, yet without the same men he would refuse to go into battle. Some people acted differently under crisis.

"The doctor is coming."

Miles turned at the sound of Ash's voice and they both watched the portly man, slither down to the carriage, followed by Wickham.

"How is the young lady? Is she blue?"

Miles gave a snort. Ash's jaw dropped.

"Is she blue? Is this all you can ask? Is she blue? By god! What are you -- a vet?"

"Sir kindly hold your tongue! I am a physician, eminently respected by the highest, most lofty personages of Brighton!"

"Really? The lofty people of Brighton..." Replied Ash with a sense of sarcasm lost on the poor doctor.

"Yes and who pray tell are you?"

"Horatio Fitzwilliam, Viscount Ashbourne, Heir apparent to the Earldom of Matlock, Grandson of the Duke of Hollingbury - anything else you'd like to know. And while we are at it, what shall I call you?"

The doctor turned bright purple and muttered. "Dr Crone. Now were is my patient?"

Miles pointed the good doctor towards the carriage, before stepping towards his friend with a dark look on his face.

"Ashbourne."

"You're not a prefect any more Upton."

"Well stop behaving like a sulky boy."

"You'd behave like me if it was Belle - " Ash broke off and turned away stalking off.

Miles groaned and made strangling gestures in the air, before turning to Wickham to arrange Kitty's transportation home.

Mr Yeates had the unenviable task of trying to haul Mr Collins the unconscious, out of the boat, and try to bring him back to being Mr Collins the awake.

Lydia had scrambled out of the boat as soon as water depth allowed, wading towards the shore.

"Oh Lydia! Your poor sister!" came an unmistakable moan. Lydia turned to see her mother, supported by Lady Lucas, semi-recumbent on the grass. She was moaning and groaning, but did not seem to be making any effort go attend to Kitty, who was fast becoming her dearest, much lamented daughter.

Lydia, who although was as empty headed as they come, when concerning matters that did not directly affect herself, did genuinely care about her family, especially her sister Kitty who was the only one who paid her any attention really. She did have a funny way of showing this affection, but it was there nonetheless. So Lydia ignored her mother's hysteria and ran up the grass.

She pushed aside what only registered as a wet individual and clambered into the coach.

"Kitty?"

She looked at her pale sister, who was being examined by Dr Crone and supported by Miss Smart.

"Lydia." Smiled Kitty weakly.

"I hit him for you."

"Thankyou."

"Now Miss Catherine, please open wide." Commanded Dr Crone.

Lydia perceiving her sister was in capable hands turned to look at the assembled company.

Ash had stalked back up to the carriage only to be pushed aside by Lydia, so he had turned a most interesting shade of red.

"What are you all doing standing there?" Said Lydia fiercely.

Miles, Lord Douglas, Lord Holling, Wickham and Ash, blinked at Lydia.

"I said what are you all doing standing there? Go find Mr Collins! You're soldiers! Officers even, I'm sure you can sabre him for me."

"Sabre him?" said Lord Holling weakly, trying to protest he wasn't an officer.

"Yes, kill him a little."

"Kill him a little?" echoed Wickham.

"Yes, no one does anything like this to my sister."

The assembled company of men didn't quite know how to react to this command, except to chorus - "Yes Ma'am" and beat a hasty retreat.

Ash found though he could not move Lydia had hold of his coattail.

"Not you."

Ash spun around trying to raise, in a languid way, one eyebrow. However it did not work and he found himself actually pulled into the carriage.

"There, we need a man to accompany us home." Said Lydia.

"Well Miss ...." Said the Doctor, searching for a name.

"Lydia." Supplied Ash. "Miss Lydia this is Dr Crone, Dr Crone, Miss Kitty's younger sister Miss Lydia."

"Are you a highly qualified doctor? You don't have very good fashion sense." Said Lydia, as Dr Crone gaped at her.

Part Two.

How many times is it gonna take/ Till someone around you hears what you say/ You've tried being cool, you feel like a lie/ You've played by their rules, mow it's their turn to try ~
All I Want - Offspring

Lizzy ran up the pier with Jane following close behind, their father was standing at the end, looking slightly lost.

"Papa! Is Kitty....."

Lizzy could not voice the words.

"No No, Lord Upton assures me she is fine. They have sent her directly home, Lydia has gone with her, and we are to follow as soon as your mother can be moved."

"Oh our poor mother" cried Jane, "I must go to her." Jane ran the rest of the way, to see of what use to her mother she could be.

Lizzy stayed with her father. "Are you sure you are all right Papa?"

"Yes, just the shock of an accident."

"Mr Collins - is the clumsiest man alive, you cannot let Kitty marry him."

Mr Bennet, gave small chuckle, "Yes at least one good thing will come of this, I can without guilt or fear break off the engagement."

"Both of them I hope." Said Lizzy.

"Well of Lord Holling we will have to wait and see." Replied her father.

"Sir, is there nothing we can do?" asked Darcy arriving with Bingley, after fumbled attempts to tie up the boats.

"Take us home?" said Mr Bennet wearily.

"It would be my honour."

The scene on the shore looked little more than a battleground. Miss Dew had swooned into Lady Rockhaven's arms, and had now come round screeching to high heaven. Mrs Bennet was still moaning about palpitations and rumblings and heaven knows what else to Lady Lucas with Miss Lucas hovering around trying to help. The Duchess was sitting down on a chair looking remarkably pale with Annabelle trying to convince her to drink some brandy. Several others of the invited guests had sat limply down on provided chairs and were now talking volubly about the chances of the poor girl making a full recovery.

"Oh very slim."

"She will have lost her bloom!"

"Poor child, the constitution is so delicate, quite ruined!"

Lizzy tried not to hear any of this as she clutched Darcy's arm - and she had been so cruel to Kitty recently, it did not bear thinking about.

Mr Yeates looked blankly at the men.

"I'm sorry, Mr Collins came to and hurried off to consult his dear lady patroness."

"God Damn the man." Exploded Lord Holling, in a very un-Lord Holling manner.

"Well I for one am not going chasing off after him!" said Lord Douglas.

Mr Yeates nodded. "ER why would you want to chase after him? Is he really a lunatic escaped from Bedlam?"

"A lunatic...yes well I suppose if we tried we could probably have him committed." Said Lord Douglas musingly.

Mr Yeates eyebrow rose. "Committed?"

"Yes you know lock him up in Bedlam! Possibly in a straight jacket!" said Lord Douglas enthusiastically.

"No No we can't do that! Think of the other poor lunatics! We couldn't inflict Mr Collins upon them!" said Lord Holling chidingly.

"All right then, we can put him in someone's attic." Said Lord Douglas.

"Would you want Mr Collins in your attic?" asked Mr Yeates curiously.

"No!" said Lord Douglas and Lord Holling at the same moment, thoroughly revolted. Mr Yeates gave a shrug.

"We'd pay someone of course!" added Lord Holling.

"Teddy, I don't think even you have that much money." Said Lord Douglas.

"Perhaps if we pooled our resources???"

"But if you did so, Lady Catherine would be without a parson and if there is one woman you don't trifle with it is Lady Catherine." Said Colonel Fitzwilliam, joining the party. "Is the young lady all right?"

"We think she will be." Replied Lord Holling tightly, before quickly bowing good day and hurrying away.

"Well he is certainly playing the part of the fiancé" said Colonel Fitzwilliam.

"Fiancé?" said Mr Yeates puzzled.

"Yes Miss Kitty's fiancé."

"I thought she was engaged to Mr Collins...."

"Yes well, welcome to our world Mr Yeates, full of complications."

Mr Yeates just nodded.

"Mama!" cried Anne, weaving her way towards her mother, who along with the servants help was handing around cups of fortifying tea.

"Yes Anne." Replied Lady Catherine.

"Did one of the Bennet girls go overboard?"

"Yes, a most unfortunate accident, caused by the odious Mr Collins, I really think that as a man of the church, he would have more respect than to try and do God's work for him. I mean if God wanted to move Miss Bennet closer to him, he could have done so himself."

"She's not dead?" cried Anne.

"Oh No, thanks to the vigilance of the young men. "

"So which Miss Bennet was it?"

"Miss Catherine."

"Oh, and you are sure she is all right?"

"Anne, I have not had the chance to ascertain that quite yet, I have over 20 goggling guests to look after."

Anne rolled her eyes trust her mother to take the chance to play hostess!

"Don't look at me like that, the Duchess has sustained a severe shock, quite incapacitated, now if only she took my advice and saw that nice new doctor from Kent, she would be beyond being shocked by anything."

"Yes because I would have been six feet under Catherine." Said The Duchess sternly making the effort to rise from her seat and resume her duty.

Anne tried not to giggle.

Annabelle sank in the chair she had provided for her grandmother and ran a hand through her incredibly tangled hair. She realised her hand, holding the glass of brandy for her grandmother was shaking, after surreptitiously looking around she gulped the brandy down. Her other hand whipped to her throat as a burning sensation took hold, she spluttered as tears sprung to her eyes.

It did end up soothing her vaguely, but she still felt awful. Kitty had been hurt, one of the most sincerest and nicest friends she had, and what if she wasn't all right? Then on top of that there was that horrible thing with Miles and Miss Dew, which she had no idea what she was going to do about. At least no one could comment on her tear-stained face now.

What if Kitty wasn't all right? Annabelle felt terrible. She had been horrid to Kitty, telling people about her engagement to Collins, who now looked like being an insane murderer. Well she hadn't actually meant to tell people about the engagement - just like she hadn't meant to drive Miles in the arms of Miss Dew. Annabelle sighed, she had never meant to do many things but things just seemed to happen to her.

"Annabelle?"

Annabelle blinked away tears and looked up her grandmother was looking down at her.

"I would like to go home now Annabelle. I've dealt with the gawking guests - voyeurs, vultures!"

Annabelle unsteadily rose to her feet, and accompanied her grandmother to her barouche.

"They left without me!" shrieked Mary at Lady Lucas.

"They were so worried about your sister!"

"Is she all right?"

"Well, it's so hard to say, a young girl like that, cut down in her prime, as I told Mrs Bennet she is too young to wear mourning clothes." Lady Lucas continued to ramble on about the many deaths of young girls, of precisely Kitty's age that she had heard about, which made Mary turn deathly pale.

"Lady Lucas this is hardly helping." Said Sir Christian standing somewhat defensively behind Mary.

"But my dear sir, such a tragic accident."

"With a happy outcome I'm sure, Lady Lucas."

"But Mrs Long told me once of a young lady who got wet through, caught a nasty cold and then poof, one day she was as dead as a doornail."

"Really Lady Lucas, well my mother once told me of a wife of a knight, who couldn't stop talking, she went to the apothecary and he could not help and suddenly a gust of wind came along and poof she suffocated because she couldn't close her mouth - tragic really."

Lady Lucas' jaw dropped at Sir Christian's speech, but she rapidly closed it and with a haughty sniff bustled off.

Mary turned and looked at Sir Christian. "An unorthodox way of sending her away, but thank you."

"Never fear milady, if she should return, St George will know how to slay the dragon *."

"Foolish boy." Said Mary with a sniff. "Now if you will be so kind as to find me a method of transportation I must go home.

* Shamelessly stolen from the mouth of Sir Laurence Olivier in perhaps what can be described as the ahem ultimate Pride and Prejudice Fan Fiction.

Lydia watched as Ash placed Kitty on her bed.

"Careful!" she shrieked, managing to sweep several books out from under Kitty's back.

Dr Crone sighed, he could tell that neither Miss Lydia, or Lord lots of titles, was going to be of any use, so he shooed them out of the room, deciding to depend solely on Miss Smart until a more suitable nurse could be discovered.

"Me" said Miss Smart in horror, the effect of the crisis beginning to wear off.

"Yes Miss Smart you will have to do."

Ash stared at the shut door. He had just been kicked out; he was never kicked out of anywhere. Looking around he espied a seat in the hall, and made his way to it, intending to sit there until news of Miss Kitty's condition.

Lydia stared as the wet lord sat down, right where she had been intending to sit.

"What are you doing?" she asked bluntly.

"Sitting down?" said Ash, bemused.

"Why?"

"I wish to wait for news of your sisters condition."

"What right do you have to hear of my sister's condition? Go away!" flapped Lydia.

Ash stood up hurriedly. "I'm - I'm - I'm. ...well Miss Lydia shouldn't you be off looking at clothes or something?"

Lydia blushed, as if she would look at clothes while easily her favourite sister could be dying. She might like clothes, but not that much. "I'm her sister. Now you sir, have no right to be here! Now go away ." She replied angrily.

Ash knew he couldn't stay, not unless he wanted to confess something, to someone he would never confess a secret to.

Lydia watched as he stalked away, then something inside prompted her to call out.

"Lord Ashbourne."

Ash turned. "Yes Miss Lydia?"

"I will of course see to it that appropriate people get immediate word of my sister's condition."

Ash blinked. Perhaps Lydia wasn't as stupid as she appeared to be.

"Thankyou Miss Lydia."

"And Lord Ashbourne, she will be all right." Said Lydia trying to be comforting; a difficult task as she had never tried being such before, but the sight of such a bedraggled and obviously violently in love man, seemed to create it in her.

Ash, turned to go, before he to succumbed to a compulsion. He walked back towards Lydia and claimed her hand.

"Thankyou Miss Lydia." He said before bowing over her hand and kissing it in a most theatrical way.

"Ahem."

Ash looked up and saw Mr Bennet, Lizzy and Jane looking at them most oddly. Lydia laughed.

"Good day Sir, Miss Bennet, Miss Elizabeth, Miss Lydia - I do hope that Miss Kitty is feeling much better soon. I must be off, I do not wish to leave a watermark." Ash knew he was rushing, but he was impatient to be alone, he had no idea how it was that he was so transparent that even a foolish girl like Lydia Bennet could see how his affections lay.

"Lydia." Came Lizzy's awed whisper.

"What?" said Lydia confused. "Oh Papa, the doctor is in there with Kitty, she is going to be all right isn't she." As adamant as she was with Lord Ashbourne, she was still scared that her sister might not be all right, and to ....go.... without Lydia's ever being about to tell her that she really did look beautiful in her bonnets, was not right. Lydia blinked, no she wanted to tell Kitty that she did love her, even if she didn't' show it all the time she wasn't so shallow.

Mr Bennet was much moved by this display of agitation in his daughter who he thought was beyond saving, even going so far as to embrace her and place a fatherly kiss on her head. "Of course she will be all right."

"And to think I wanted to come to Brighton!" said Lydia into her father's coat.

Jane looked at Lizzy, and Lizzy looked at Jane. Was this Lydia? Lizzy was thinking of the way Lord Ashbourne seemed bent over her hand, and the way Lydia had looked at him, and he seemed so passionate about kissing her hand. What on earth was going on?

Jane was as confused as Lizzy, but she was first and foremost concerned about the fate of her other sister. Jane hastened towards the sick room.

Chapter 30, Part iii

Posted on Wednesday, 5 September 2001, at 10:33 p.m.

The course of true love never did run smooth ~ . William Shakespeare.

The door had no sooner closed, than Annabelle had thrown herself on her bed sobbing. She was mainly sobbing because of Miles, but then the idea that she was thinking of a man when her best friend could be dead, made her feel guilty, which made her sob about Kitty and what a terrible person Annabelle was. Thinking of what a terrible person she was just brought her back to Miles. It was a vicious cycle that Annabelle didn't think she was going to release herself from at any time soon.

After turning her pillow into a swamp, Annabelle sat up and rubbed at her raw eyes. The unhappiness she felt started to morph into self-loathing and self-pity. She never cried it wasn't an Annabelle thing to do! But neither was not getting her own way. Annabelle sniffed in a most unattractive fashion and wondered whether she was selfish. She didn't think she was, but if she were selfish she would hardly think she was selfish. Why was she a jaded baggage when Miss Dew was a sweet creature?

Annabelle leant against one of the posters of her bed and hugged a pillow. Everyone always told her how beautiful elegant and refined she was, no one had ever said she was malevolent, or a selfish brat or a ninny hammer. And she wasn't. Annabelle was quite sure she wasn't a ninny hammer, and to be malevolent one had to want to hurt, Annabelle felt a little shaky on the selfish brat issue however.

The issues swum about in her mind, and she could feel the tears welling up again so Annabelle hastily grabbed a book from her night table and started to read.

Having, for a long time since, looked upon Gold and Silver, as the Design or End of Commerce; I never could reconcile myself, to that generally received Opinion, that they increase it, and that by consequence, Credit also does the like; for how to imagine the End to be the Cause? This Contradiction induced me to seek out the Reason or first Cause, that drives Man to trade: And as for Years past, some Nations of Europe swell their Credit to such a prodigious Bulk, as though they strove to surpass one another, and as if Trade and Credit had not their bounds: my Design, by this Tract, is to shew the ill consequences of an unnatural Use of Credit. I extend it no farther than just what is necessary to attain that End; and I entitle it, The System or Theory of the Trade of the World, because it contains such Principles, as seem to me capable of answering any Event in Trade.**

Annabelle blinked. Then furiously threw the book to the floor.

"I am a selfish stupid little brat." She moaned to the wall.

* The Mysterious Spaniard; Or, The Ruins of St. Luke's Abbey. A Romance.
Anonymous authorship. 1807.
** The System or Theory of the Trade of the World by Isaac Gervaise 1720

"You gave us such a scare Kitty."

"I gave myself such a scare." Smiled Kitty weakly, looking at her elder sisters. Lizzy and Jane sat on the bed, while Lydia skulked in the background.

"Lydia!" cried Lizzy as she watched her youngest sister, play absentmindedly with the drapes. "Kitty needs rest not you flapping about!"

"Yes, so we will leave you now to get some rest." Smiled Jane.

Kitty sunk back deeper into her pillows as Lizzy and Jane vacated the bed. She had no sooner closed her eyes when an insistent whisper made her open them again.

" Kiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttttty. Don't you think Lord Ashbourne is so strong? I mean he saved your life! And he accompanied us home, all wet! I think that says something about a man don't you?"

Kitty narrowed her eyes at her little sister. Lydia had her arms wrapped around the bedpost, and had her lower lip caught between her teeth.

"What on earth do you mean Lydia?"

"Well you know, it means something."

"What means something?"

"Lord Ashbourne is smart, handsome, and he saves people's lives, that surely means something, and he was awful nice to me!"

"Lydia!" scolded Lizzy, marching back into the room, hands on hips. "Leave Kitty alone, she needs to rest."

Lizzy unwrapped Lydia's arms and dragged her from the room.

Kitty blinked she had the worrying feeling that Lydia had been trying to tell her something

"Lydia!" scolded Lizzy.

"Lizzy!" mimicked Lydia sulkily.

"Just what did you mean by what you said to Kitty."

"What I said." Said Lydia stupidly. There wasn't always an underlying meaning to everything!

"Really?" said Lizzy, an arch in her brow.

"Yes! I'm not you Lizzy, I don't speak in riddles!"

"Then why do you feel the need to speak about Lord Ashbourne."

" I like Lord Ashbourne." Replied Lydia simply, before waltzing off, leaving a shocked Lizzy.

Annabelle turned over, finally having dozed off into a tortured, restless sleep.

Annabelle concentrated on the cross-stitch in front of her, she tried to ignore the group of girls in front of the fireplace.

"Oh la! That's nothing Bessie! When I was home for Christmas, my brother, bought his particular friend, Bertie, home and he was quite in love with me!"

Annabelle gave up and raised her eyes to gaze at the older girls warming their stockinged feet around the fire. She felt out of place, as currently one of the youngest boarders at Miss Tuckermans. Twelve was a particular awkward age for Annabelle and the other girls made no allowances for it.

"What are you gawping at!" sniffed Bessie a pert eighteen year old.

"N-Nothing."

Bessie flung her hair in a dramatic way, before returning her attention to drying it and gossiping. She hadn't even seemed to have heard Annabelle.

Annabelle sighed and tried to return to her cross stitch.

"Well Amelia, I don't think you should boast about someone called Bertie!" smiled Bessie.

Annabelle idly wondered what was wrong with the name Bertie.

While the other girls were deep in argument over the relative merits of Bertie and his name, a younger girl Rebecca rushed in.

"Rebecca!! Look where you are going! You almost trod upon my new bonnet!" shrieked Bessie indigently.

"Sorry Bessie, but I just have to tell you! The most handsome man has arrived, a young beau in fact...he's an earl!" Rebecca had indeed saved the best to last, giggling in satisfaction.

"It's an Earl, wishing to choose a bride!" gasped Amelia!

Bessie preened herself knowing that a young earl could only be after her.

The girls clustered out of the room and grouped around the stair's banister, peering down to see if any glimpse of the illustrious visitor could be seen - none could, but voices could be heard.

"Well, My lord, it is highly irregular, but I will allow it, especially as you have brought a letter with you."

"See he has come to choose a bride!" twittered Rebecca.

Annabelle stood slightly apart from the girls not wanting to draw their criticism for appearing too eager.

The girls drew back slightly as the headmistress' feet sounded on the stairs, but they still held out hope of being the first to see his hair, sure to be windswept or to see his immaculate gloves.

Annabelle stood at the head of the stairs and as they turned on the landing she saw the young man's face and shrieked. One of the language teachers who had come out to Shepard the girls away gave a scandalised gasp.

"Miiiiiiiiiiiiillllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllles." Annabelle shrieked practically tumbling down the stairs in her haste.

"Princess." He replied giving her a hug. "Fancy helping me try out my new greys? Bought them from Benton, only problem was I had to travel to Bath to get them. Am never staying at the White Hart again - damned - oh I do beg your pardon ma'am - glee club."

Annabelle giggled, and submitted to her treat of being taken around Bath and it's environs by the dapper Lord Upton. And when she got back to Miss Tuckermans she suddenly found she appeared to have friends.

Annabelle turned over uncomfortably in her sleep, the movement stirring her brain and her dreams.

Annabelle was a bruising rider; she could ride almost as soon as she could walk, the advantages of having elder brothers she supposed.

Pity those brothers couldn't... wouldn't was more like...let her ride with them anymore. She saw them several fields away not on horseback this time, but still refusing to let her come with them.

Annabelle wheeled her horse around sulking desperately; she had been left behind again! She was old enough and she could ride!

She would show them she thought, plunging Faery forward dangerously. She would take that fence and show them all! Faery started to leap the stone fence with ease, but her hind legs hit the fence sending a wave of pain up the horse's back and throwing Annabelle quite clear of the horse, which landed screaming in pain.

Annabelle had landed awkwardly but had only bruised her pride.

"Belle!" cried her brother, Ash, running towards her with all speed. Annabelle cursed herself inwardly; trust her to fall off when her brother was looking.

She got up gingerly, wishing to prove to everyone that she was fine. But she sensed everything was not fine, Faery was in pain.

Ricky looked at the beast - "I'm afraid...." He trailed off, looking at his little sister whom Ash had in a protective clasp.

"No not Faery!" said Annabelle her eyes tearing up - that her foolishness could cost the horse its life!

"Belle - she's in pain and there is no way to help her." Said Ricky sadly.

"You shoot her Miles." Said Annabelle looking at her brother's friend. Miles wordlessly loaded his rifle and was about to take aim.

"Miles!" exclaimed Ricky. "Not in front of...."

"No! I should watch! It's my fault." Replied Annabelle, flinching as Miles fired.

"I'm so sorry Faery." Sobbed Annabelle into her departed friend's man. "I was so stupid, I should have never attempted taking such a fence. I'm so sorry."

Ash and Ricky looked on in discomfort, but Miles lay down his rifle and attempted to comfort the sobbing girl.

"Princess, you couldn't help it. You didn't mean it."

"I shouldn't have taken that fence."

"No, but you did not mean for this to happen surely?"

"No."

"Then do not blame yourself."

Annabelle wiped some of the tears away, the remainder wiped away by Miles as he knelt by her. Annabelle stood up and allowed herself to be led away from the site.

Lizzy curled up with a good book in the library, it was late, but she could not sleep. The doctor had cleared Kitty of any lasting damage, simply saying all she needed was some rest, but something was still gnawing at Lizzy's heart.

It certainly wasn't Darcy. Lizzy could hardly keep the smile off her face when she even thought about his name, or even the first letter of his name. It was quite hard not to look like a total fool, when even the mention of dysentery made her smile like a lunatic.

Then what was it that tugged at her heart so? Something her body was trying to tell her. A door slammed somewhere in the house and Lizzy jumped. Going to investigate she found Lydia about to climb the stairs to the bedrooms.

"Lydia! You should be in bed!"

"I'm just going there Lizzy! Why aren't you in bed?"

Lizzy sighed. "Lydia!" she said sternly.

But Lydia just shrugged and started walking up the stairs, trailing a hand along the banister.

"Who have you been writing to." Said Lizzy suddenly noticing the ink stains on Lydia's fingers.

Lydia looked strangely at her fingers. "No one," she said innocently but it was a cultivated innocence.

Lizzy watched as Lydia tripped up the stairs and wondered just who Lydia would be writing to in the middle of the night.

"You, my dear Madam, can go to hell."

The moonlight shone onto Annabelle's face, making her blink in her sleep and try to bury herself under her pillow.

Annabelle was terrified. She had no idea that someone existed on this planet that could behave like this. She could practically hear the clock counting down the seconds till her doom. No one would believe she hadn't orchestrated a secluded walk with a young man...well her family and friends would, but their opinion would be nothing against the weight of society. She had last felt this terrified when she was nine and she had fallen into a pond...Miles had saved her that time. Annabelle couldn't imagine what had suddenly brought him to mind. She should be thinking of ways to get out of this mess, not think of Miles.

Suddenly she was released the man fell reeling backwards. It took a second for Annabelle to realise he had been knocked down. Miles unceremoniously pushed Annabelle aside, as the man stood up again.

Annabelle didn't think she could watch. Miles was the taller of the gentlemen, but the horrid man was stockier and looked much stronger. She didn't think she could bear seeing Miles hurt trying to help her. The horrid man, jumped but and balled up his fists. He swung a punch at Miles that Miles easily ducked. He then launched himself upon Miles, who managed to throw him off, with relative ease. Annabelle watched as he rolled himself over and then jumped up, ready to have another go. He ran full charge at Miles, intent on knocking him over, but Miles sidestepped him with ease. Then when the horrid man reeled around, it took only seconds for Miles to completely send the villain to dirt. No matter his apparent lack of muscles, Miles was not a member of Jackson's saloon for nothing. All it took was a flush hit - and down the man went.

Annabelle looked at the inert heap and started breathing normally again.

Annabelle kicked out in her sleep, further tangling the bed sheets around her, she obviously felt them in her dream state and sleepily and futilely tried to untangle them.

Annabelle had never felt so nervous in her entire life. Tonight the entire ton had flocked to Matlock House and why had they flocked so? Because Lady Annabelle Fitzwilliam was being presented to the ton.

Annabelle unconsciously smoothed at her gown. A shimmering silver colour, it highlighted her dark tresses and deep violet eyes.

She looked at the already full ballroom, everyone was here, or so her mother kept informing her. Annabelle had the great satisfaction of seeing Bessie Trelain standing in a corner, looking most dowdy in an orange dress from last season. Obviously as unmarried at twenty-four, her mother had not deigned her worthy of a new dress. Annabelle had trouble hiding her smile.

"Your daughter is quite spectacular." Simpered one dowager to Lady Matlock.

Annabelle felt more than one eyeglass rise in her direction as she stood waiting for guests with her mother.

"Where are your brothers? I asked them specifically to be on time!" tutted Lady Matlock, batting a fan against her hand, obviously wishing it was the heads of her male progeny.

"My lady." A footman bowed. "Lord Ashbourne, Master Richard and Lord Upton have just arrived."

"Thankyou Charles." Lady Matlock waved the footman away, and waited for their entrance.

"They aren't too late, Mama." Said Annabelle.

"Late enough!" said Lady Matlock still rather annoyed.

Annabelle herself wasn't annoyed, she was feeling a little grateful for their tardiness, it meant she could put off, actually having to go 'begin' the ball and she didn't even have anyone to begin the ball with.

"Ash. Ricky." Her mother spoke in an even tone that spoke volumes to her errant offspring.

"Mother." Said Ash in a most apologetic tone. "You look lovely Belle."

"Thank you." Smiled Annabelle.

"Yes quite the Belle of the ball." Smiled Ricky.

Ash rolled his eyes at his brother's pun.

"Where is Miles?" asked Lady Matlock. "I thought you were arriving with him?"

"Oh yes he was just speaking to his coachman." Said Ricky dismissively. "See here he comes."

Annabelle watched as Miles walked through the door, his head was still turned listening to something someone was saying to him outside. But Annabelle caught his eye the moment his head turned and gave him her widest smile.

Miles almost slipped on something on the floor, and only saved himself from a most embarrassing fall, by the handiness of his Malacca cane.

He recovered in a trice and quickly disposed of his coat and cane into the waiting servants hands. He took the stairs two at a time, but seemed determined not to look at Annabelle, instead he addressed himself to Lady Matlock.

"Sorry we were so late Ma'am."

Lady Matlock could never resist Miles' most apologetic smile, and melted in an instant. "No harm done I dare say but Belle is quite nervous as it is."

"Why? You are not little Belle any longer." Teased Ash.

Annabelle looked at Miles, who looked at her. "No." he said baldly. "Not little Belle any longer."

Annabelle felt quite strange. She had not truly seen much of Miles since she was 12, she had seen him once or twice, but not a great deal as she had when she was quite young. She wasn't quite sure whether she should treat him like the brother he had been when she was younger or not, especially when he seemed not inclined to address her personally. Perhaps there should not be a showing of intimacy? In her confusion she held out her hand. She expected him to shake it, but instead he took it and kissed it. His eyes all the time telling her he was laughing at her.

Annabelle was intrigued.

"Well Belle my dear, now that our guests have arrived, we may go in and start the dancing." Smiled Lady Matlock.

"Mamma..." said Annabelle in an undertone. "Who am I to dance with?"

"Well there is Darcy, or Teddy. I made sure they would be ready to dance with you."

"Darcy or Teddy!" practically shrieked Annabelle. "Mamma!"

Lady Matlock appeared alarmed. "What ever is wrong with Darcy or Teddy?"

Annabelle bit her lip, how to tell her mother that she did not wish to stand up with a relation, as it would obviously look as though they had been made to stand up with her.

"Would you like to dance with me Belle?" asked Ricky jovially.

Annabelle's eyes widened in alarm, dance with her own brother!?!

A sneaky smile crossed Miles' face. "If it would not be too much to ask for, Lady Annabelle I would be delighted if I would be allowed to have the honour of the first dance?"

Annabelle gave a sigh of relief. "I would be delighted also Lord Upton." She very gratefully took his arm and entered the ballroom.

"Much better than a relation I daresay." He whispered as they took their place at the head of the set.

Annabelle was much thrown, how on earth had he guessed that was what was bothering her?

Annabelle calmed her nerves in the first dance, helped by Miles' superior dancing and the looks of admiration she was receiving from all quarters. She allowed Miles' to escort her to the punch table, and as she sipped her punch she gave him a winning smile.

"Thank you! I have never been so nervous!"

"You? The fearless Lady Annabelle nervous? I shall never believe it."

Annabelle smiled into her glass as Miles' eye wandered.

"Benton!" he suddenly called. Sir Aubrey Benton heeded his call.

"Lady Annabelle, may I present, most properly Sir Aubrey Benton, a most excellent dancer, and not at all a relation. Benton, Lady Annabelle."

Lady Annabelle blushed but held out her hand. "Charmed Sir Aubrey."

Sir Aubrey Benton became one of her most devoted admirers...and that was just the start.

Chapter 30, Part iv

Despite all my rage i am still just a rat in a cage then someone will say what is lost can never be saved despite all my rage i am still just a rat in a cage ~ "Bullet with Butterfly wings" by the Smashing Pumpkins

The Duchess gave a large sigh of relief when she read the note that had been brought to her by Miles.

"Thank you Miles. I am so glad she is going to be all right. It was very thoughtful of you to bring this note! I had been worried sick."

"Not a problem your grace. Actually I was wondering whether Annabelle was around...?"

The Duchess raised an eyebrow, but it was imperceptible. Why on earth did Miles want to see Annabelle?

"Annabelle is still in her room, but I will go tell her of the happy news and ask her to come down."

"Thank you your Grace."

Annabelle lay sprawled across her bed fully dressed. She had been unable to sleep so she had got up, then she realised she had no energy to actually continue with getting up.

She had spent the night recalling memories. Even as a child it would seem she had been a spoiled brat. Annabelle sniffed.

When had she begun to love him? She had always seemed to appreciate Miles as a little girl, but that certainly wasn't love. Annabelle rolled on her back trying to think, did their have to be a specific time or place?

Suddenly it came into Annabelle's mind and with perfect clarity she could pinpoint the time and moment. As he came through the door at her come-out ball, she had locked eyes with him, and for a brief second she had had this feeling that she could see into his soul and vice-versa. But then something had happened he had changed. He had introduced her to some friends, then didn't seem to like, their appreciation of her. He had become...in a word gooey. It was so painfully clear, now. She had disliked the horribly gooey attentive ridiculous Miles, because she had liked the old Miles, the real Miles. No she had loved the real Miles...she still did love the real Miles...but you couldn't separate the two Miles...surely...but oh...it was too confusing...but oh, oh.... What had once been hero-worship, had turned into love at first sight. Why, why hadn't it dawned on her, before she had done her level best to alienate him.!!!!

Annabelle turned to sob into her pillow, when she heard the door open.

"Belle?"

Annabelle tried to modulate her voice. 'Yes Grandmamma?"

"Miles has brought a note from the Bennets, Kitty is going to be fine."

Annabelle gave a sob of relief that her friend was going to be all right.

"Now Miles said he would like to speak to you, shall I tell him you are just coming down?"

Terror surged into Annabelle's mind. Speak to Miles? Oh no she could never face him again! She tried not to cry but failed miserably. Now her grandmother would speak to her bracingly and tell her to buck up and go downstairs like a lady, and that crying with relief was plain silly. For the Duchess, Annabelle hoped, would not be able to see into the real state of her heart.

The Duchess looked at her sobbing granddaughter, and started to wonder.

"Belle, I will tell Miles you are unavailable."

Annabelle heard the door close behind her grandmother.

"I'm sorry, poor Belle is quite washed out from yesterday, very trying on everyone's nerves. But thank you again for the note."

Miles was shepherded out into the hall and given his marching orders.

Why on earth hadn't she wanted to see him? Miles shook his head.

He walked along the street, swinging his cane aimlessly in one hand. At one point he whacked the cane violently against a railing.

"Miles! I gave you that cane!" came a reproving voice.

"Ash! I was just coming to look for you, I stopped at the Bennets and Miss Catherine will be quite well."

"I know."

"How do you know? I was most definitely the first to inquire."

"I got a note late last night."

"Really? From whom?"

"A little bird."

"A little bird?"

"Yes a little bird."

"You make no sense."

"I am gratified."

"That wasn't a compliment."

"Wasn't it? I rather think it is."

Miles sighed and didn't deign to reply to Ash. Miles continued walking, swinging his cane, and found that it was most annoying to have Ash hover behind him when he was trying to think.

"Stop that now Ash."

"Stop what?"

"This incessant following and haunting of me!!"

"Incessant: occurring so frequently as to seem ceaseless or uninterrupted." Ash paused. "You know I really don't remember ever following you before? And I'm not dead."

Miles stopped dead in his tracks. "What the deuce does your still breathing state have to do with anything?"

"Well I can't very well haunt you if I'm still alive."

"Oh shut up Ash. You are in a hellishly happy mood this morning."

"Aren't you?"

"No." said Miles shortly.

"Why are you in a good mood?"

"I really don't wish to talk about it."

"Oh, what has my sister done now?"

Miles opened his mouth and then closed it.

"Well Miles?"

"Actually I don't think she has done anything. I think ..." Miles paused tapping the knob of his cane to his mouth. "I think I have just worked something out Ash."

"What? What have you worked out?" said Ash bewildered as his friend gave a brilliant smile and dashed away.

The Duchess regarded Annabelle's unusually pale countenance across the chaise. Normally she would make a comment about it, but unfortunately Maria Fullam had returned from the sickbed of a cousin and was taking up a large space next to Annabelle.

"Belle."

"Yes Grandmamma?"

"Have you been using too much Gowland's lotion?"

"Excuse me?"

"You seem unusually pale? Are you feeling quite the thing?"

"Yes Grandmamma. Just the shock of yesterday."

Annabelle fidgeted with her gloves. It wasn't lying per se, she was pale because of the shock of yesterday, not just the shock the Duchess was thinking of.

The Duchess however was one step ahead of Annabelle, she had a feeling Annabelle had suffered another shock yesterday, wholly unconnected with Kitty, instead had something to do with an eligible bachelor.

"Well your Grace, how long do you think our little visit will be?"

"Maria, it shall not be a little visit, I have much to talk to Mr Bennet about."

"Mr Bennet?" exclaimed Annabelle suddenly perking up with surprise.

'Yes, I have decided that doctor or no doctor, what Kitty needs is some recuperation time. Which she shall not get here in bustling Brighton. I have decided to take her to Bath. I have been told to take the waters many times, and have never been inclined to, but now Kitty shall accompany me."

The Duchess seemed not to think that Kitty could have any objection to this plan. Privately Annabelle thought Kitty would not wish to be torn away from a fiancé or her friends, to go to dull dismal Bath. However Annabelle could think of someone willing to take her place as her Grandmother's companion.

"I think it is an excellent idea."

The Duchess nodded in happiness and Maria fidgeted in discomfort; she was supposed to be the companion.

"I am quite well Annabelle. In fact I'm better than well, Papa has written to Mr Collins."

Kitty paused twisting a curl around one finger.

"In fact Lady Catherine wrote Papa a letter saying Mr Collins was on her doorstep and wouldn't leave, So Papa wrote her a letter, and she wrote one back, then Mr Collins wrote one then Papa wrote to Mr Collins. The result being he has moved into a hotel and is no longer an aspirant to my hand."

Annabelle tried to smile. "Congratulations Kitty. Now you can marry Teddy!"

Kitty's face dropped and she started twitching the bedcovers.

"You do want to marry Teddy don't you? You are in love with him?"

Kitty slowly shook her head.

Annabelle felt another part of her world crash down.

"I was wrong about that too?" Annabelle sank her head into her hands.

"I was just so rushed into it, and he only asked because he couldn't bare to see anyone married to Mr Collins, I'm sure of it." Kitty tried to comfort her friend, but truth be known she didn't know why her revelation of the fact she didn't love Lord Holling had affected Annabelle so.

"Belle, why are you so upset? What else were you wrong about?"

"Miles." Replied Annabelle tearfully.

"Miles?"

"I thought I didn't l-l-love him." Stuttered Annabelle. She took a deep breath and regained her composure.

"So you do love him?"

"Y-yes." Said Annabelle tearily, hating herself for not being composed.

"Well why on earth did you treat him like you did?" said Kitty.

Annabelle opened her mouth then shut it again, resting her head on her hands, a crease appeared in her forehead. "I guess...I guess I thought that he would always be there, you see, that I could treat him badly and he would still love me."

"But why did you even want to treat him badly? That hardly seems like love to me Belle!"

"I - I don't know, I didn't like the way he showed his love. I - I thought if I pushed him away he would be strong and forceful and not let me push him away."

Annabelle pushed her tears away with the back of her hand. Kitty was surprised, not by her friend's feelings, but the fact that such a strong person as Annabelle would wish to be ruled over.

Annabelle gave a hollow little laugh. "You must think it is silly, but I have always dreamt of a knight in shining armour. When I was 16 I had been sent home from school in a hurry - they had the measles you see - and I remember that they came for a night, my brothers and Miles, on their way to a hunting lodge. I watched them riding about the fields, a sort of restless energy, and I remember thinking that one day I would like to be swept up in some powerful arms and borne away."

Kitty gave a little giggle. "I did not suppose it of you! I supposed you would want to be stronger personality."

Annabelle blinked. "You know, I think I wanted both. I wanted both to be the leader and the led, and that is why I was so stupid, and oh so brattish."

Seeing that Annabelle was about to fall into the doldrums again Kitty quickly injected. "Well I have never had a dream or an ideal, except perhaps to be married before Lydia. I do not know what I want from a husband, you are lucky to know at least."

Annabelle bit her lip. "But I have been so stupid. And now he is going to marry Miss Dew."

" Miss Dew? Are you sure?"

"He practically told me so himself, and I know I could never ... never ...marry anyone else."

"You might think that Belle but - "

"No! No buts, I will have to become a Prop to Mama."

"A prop?"

"No dear a Prop! With a capital P! A Companion. Devoted to her Needs, her Champion. An old maid..."

"An Old Maid! Belle, don't talk such fustian!"

"It's not fustian!"

"You don't even know for sure that he marrying Miss Dew!"

"If he doesn't marry Miss Dew, he will marry someone else."

"He will marry you! All you have to do is tell him how you feel."

"And have him crush my hopes! Oh no!"

"Crush your hopes?"

"He doesn't want to marry me, you should have heard what he said to me. He positively loathes me! He might have married me once, but he won't now. And I don't think I'm at all worth it."

'Belle!"

"Well I'm not. I'm terribly managing! I don't have any respect, I have absolutely no tact, or feeling! I am incredibly inelegant! I let the slightest praise go to my head! I do not even consider other people's feelings! - "

"Belle! You are being silly and childish! You have a great many good qualities too!"

"Name six!"

"All right. You do care about people, perhaps you are a tad selfish but its an unconscious selfishness. You are genuine, when you feel something or say something you are genuine about it, you really mean it. You are honest you never really conceal yourself. You are intelligent and occasionally you even use that intelligence! You are strong, you never give up on something - you are not a silly simpering Miss. And lastly you are a good listener, when you actually listen that is."

Annabelle hung her head. "They don't sound overwhelmingly positive."

"We all have faults. I too have a great too many of them. Yours stem from the fact you unconsciously always think of yourself first, you don't mean to, but well Belle must come first."

"Not any more. I won't even think about saddling Miles which such a person."

"I thought you said he didn't want you."

"He doesn't. But he might be weak."

"Really?"

Annabelle tried to smile. "Well you did forget to say I was excessively beautiful."

Kitty laughed and Annabelle joined in, but only for a few seconds, before the laughter turned into tears.

"Oh Belle." Kitty gave her friend a hug and comfortingly stroked her hair.

"Kitty."

"Yes."

"Grandmamma wants to take you to Bath if you go, can you ask her to take me too?"

"Why don't you ask her?"

"I can't. She will ask me why."

Kitty nodded and looked sadly at her friend.

Next Section