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Chapter 10, Part 1

Posted on Sunday, 24 December 2000, at 2 : 32 a.m.

Man, unlike the animals, has never learned that the sole purpose of life is to enjoy it ~ Samuel Butler

Kitty had plastered across her face the biggest smile. She had taken off her bonnet and was practically dancing up the drive to Longbourn. The birds were singing, the sun was shining, she didn't care she had mud all over her dress; everything in the world was perfect.

It may seem odd, that one little chance meeting with an unknown stranger could prompt such a change in a girl, who was prior to this meeting as wretched as could be, however sometimes, somewhere things just click, and you know that everything is going to be all right.

Kitty had that feeling, she just knew that life was going to be kind to her, she just knew it and for the moment there was no Mama, or Mr Collins there was just her.... and perhaps that intriguing stranger.

She practically waltzed (how shocking) into the house, and consequently was still smiling when she almost ran into Mr Collins and her mother.

Kitty stopped short, and the smile threatened to fall from her face, but she managed just in time to rescue.

"Mama... Mr Collins... it is a fine day."

"You are right...Cousin Catherine...it is a particularly fine day." Simpered Mr Collins, who appeared to be leering more than usual.

Kitty felt a little alarmed, but it abated when her mother suggested they all go sit, together, in the nice cheery sitting room. However, Kitty went in first and when she turned around to ask her mother whether she had seen Maria Lucas recently, Kitty found that only Mr Collins was there. This perhaps gave her a bit of a clue as to what was going on, but she was still feeling elated, so she gave her mother the benefit of the doubt and decided she must have been simply held up -for a short space of time.

Kitty sat down on the couch, still with a smile on her face, she looked out of the window (it was a choice between that and looking at Mr Collins - what would have you chosen?). Suddenly Kitty had the unfortunate circumstance of being made aware of a change in Mr Collins position. He appeared to have prostrated himself at her feet. Kitty was still clinging to the hope that he had, with his slimy nature, slid and fallen, when he spoke.

"My dear Cousin Catherine...I must say I feel as though I don't even have to ask you, as I already know the answer, your face gives me the answer."

My face, thought Kitty, quickly schooling her face into the best 'I think you are disgusting, and I do not wish to have your children or be your little woman' expression on her face.

However, Kitty had little reliance on Mr Collins realising the less than subtle change in her facial appearance. Any reliance she might have had disappeared when Mr Collins slithered forward, Kitty tried to wriggle backwards, but the sofa declined to let her; she was trapped.

Mr Collins grasped her hand and deposited slimy little kisses all over her hand. Kitty almost shrieked.

"My...my...dear.... darling...Kitty." He wheezed into her hand.

"Sir...SIR!! SIIIRR!" shrieked Kitty trying to claim her hand back. She managed to snatch it back, as he looked up with a drooling countenance.

"I'm not your dear, or darling anything! Please address me with less intimacy sir."

Mr Collin's brow creased. "Less intimacy my darling?"

"Less intimacy!" she repeated emphatically.

Mr Collins was confused. Did she think it was pleasurable to call her fiancé in proper terms? Some ladies gained pleasure from pretending to be distant with those they were really intimately acquainted with.....Or so he had heard.

"Of course....Mrs Collins." He leered, arching an eyebrow in what he considered a seductive manner. Leaning forward, in a split second he deposited himself, upon Kitty's lips.

This was enough for Kitty, she screamed as loudly as possible, leapt up, knocking the parson over and ran for the safety of the door.

"Papa! Papa! Pappppa!" she shrieked invading his library.

Mr Bennet snapped a book closed and looked up at Kitty. "Well Kitty?"

Kitty cast herself into her father's arm's sobbing. For Mr Bennet this was a novel experience and he tried to be soothing, but felt he was failing miserably.

"Tell me what is wrong. I cannot do anything until you tell me what is wrong."

"Mr...Mr.... Collins.... proposed...Improper.... kissed ...me...like...liver...slime...hateful...never.... never.... rather.... die...."

Mr Bennet finally understood what was the matter was.

He pulled Kitty away from him and looked into her tearful eyes.

"Mr Collins proposed marriage? And you want to refuse?"

"I tried to, but he doesn't understand me...." Said Kitty.

"Ah?"

Mr Bennet opened his mouth to comfort his fourth daughter, when his wife burst in.

"Ooooh Kitty! You lucky, lucky girl!" she gushed, looking at her future son-in-law as he waddled into the room.

"Ah Mrs Bennet, you forget I have not given my permission." Said Mr Bennet, trying to draw his wife's attention to Kitty's miserable state.

"Oh but a trifle!" said Mrs Bennet dismissively.

"Not a trifle I fear. Sir?"

"Mr Bennet?" said Mr Collins leering at the part of his future wife that he could see.... her...hmmm.... nice... back...(side)

"I fear my daughter Kitty is too young to consider marring. She is only seventeen. I think you would be better off with another lady as your wife, Sir."

"Oh but Mr Bennet!" shrieked Mrs Bennet.

"Never fear Mrs Bennet, Mr Bennet; I would happy to wait until your daughter is old enough. Until then an engagement will suffice."

Kitty who had sensed her salvation, suddenly had it snatched away from her, she sat up alarmed.

Mr Bennet gave Mr Collins a penetrating stare. "I fear I cannot consent to an engagement in the proper sense, sir, it would be a disservice to both yourself and my daughter."

"Oh that is fine Sir. Anything you wish."

Mr Bennet, thought Mr Collins a particularly persistent individual. He thought about the match for a while and then nodded. "Of course Mr Collins."

Kitty's eye's widened. She watched silently as Mrs Bennet led Mr Collins away, chattering about weddings.

"Papa!" she exclaimed. Her father came over solemnly and took her hands in his, as though he was unsure of what he was about to say.

"Now Kitty. He is a silly man, to be sure, but from all I have seen of you, you are a silly girl. He is respectable and will inherit the estate. Now, ten to one he will grow tired of the match or his patroness with insist on his marrying straight away. But if not, you could do worse."

"Worse? Worse? Worse?" spluttered Kitty. "I don't think I can ever forgive you! If it had been Lizzy or Jane you wouldn't have even considered this!"

Kitty ran crying from the room.

Mr Bennet wondered whether if presented with this situation, with Lizzy or Jane as the principal players he would have acted the same. He hoped he would have; but he knew deep down he wouldn't have. Had he just done the right thing, Kitty was silly for all the world...but an engagement with Mr Collins? How was that supposed to save her from herself!

Part Two.

It is not worthwhile to go around the world to count the cats in Zanzibar ~Henry David Thoreau.

"Well what do you think Lizzy?" said Lady Annabelle.

"Well I'm not sure what to think." Said Lizzy, and she wasn't just talking about Lady Annabelle's asking her to accompany her on a visit to her Aunt.

Lizzy dared not look over the other side of the garden. Mr Darcy was standing with Colonel Fitzwilliam and Captain Wickham. There had been a period of very awkward silence when Colonel Fitzwilliam had interrupted them. Mr Darcy had just appeared to have rallied himself, into some inconsequential chatter when mercifully Lady Annabelle and Captain Wickham arrived. The men then withdrew away allowing the ladies to chatter.

"Lizzy?" said Lady Annabelle. Lizzy blushed at being found daydreaming and found she could not speak.

"You do not think it is a good idea?" said Lady Annabelle worriedly.

"No. No, I think it is a very good idea." Said Lizzy finally finding her tongue.

"Really?" said Lady Annabelle brightening up. "I thought it was the perfect idea, what with your sister going to London after Christmas and all. Well, I personally need some support at Rosings, not that Anne isn't a great help but well you know.... Lady Catherine can be such a trial! So you will come? We leave late February. "

"Late February." Repeated Lizzy mechanically. She was looking over Lady Annabelle's shoulder; Mr Darcy had moved into view and was very pointedly looking at her.

"Lizzy, are you quite with me?" said Lady Annabelle puzzled.

"Oh...yes...Rosings...in Kent isn't it?"

"Yes. It won't be very amusing I fear...but well.... Darcy and The Colonel usually come to -"

Lady Annabelle stopped as she saw Lizzy suddenly look rather unwell.

"Lizzy?"

"I'm fine, Annabelle, I just fear I have taken a bit of the sun..."

"Of course we will go inside." Said Lady Annabelle helping Lizzy to her feet.

Lizzy realised too late what Lady Annabelle was likely to do.

"Darcy, come help Lizzy to the house.

"No ...No I'm fine," said Lizzy rather stupidly, as she was looking rather pale.

"You are not well" said Darcy taking her arm and drawing it through his. He felt guilt at being the reason for her distress.

Lady Annabelle smiled as they walked slowly towards the house, she dropping back a bit to admire the charming picture the couple displayed. Lizzy gave a little stumble causing Darcy to clasp her around the waist to prevent her falling.

Lady Annabelle gave a little triumphant eyebrow lift at Wickham who simply chuckled and shook his head.

Part Three.

Cause I believe that you and me / We could be so... / Happy and free /Inside a world of misery / And I believe that you and me /We could be so... /Inside of you, inside of me /Cause this could be the one /This could be the one ~ Limp Bizkit "The One"

Colonel Lord Ashbourne looked through the books on display at the antiquated little bookshop that was Meryton's sole outlet for knowledge. There were none that particularly caught his attention. However, looking out the window, something further up the street did catch his attention.

That girl...... she was walking rather hurriedly across the street, seemingly pursued by a fat, podgy man. Ash gave a little laugh. Was it his duty to rescue her? He hoped so.

He turned to the proprietor of the shop. "That young lady over there, may I inquire if she is in any distress from that man." He said in what he hoped were bored tones.

The portly man peered out the window. "Miss Kitty? Oh no that is her Cousin Mr Collins."

"Kitty?" said Ash peering out the window.

"Catherine, my lord, Catherine Bennet."

Ash gave a startled frown... Catherine?? ...Aunt Catherine...no, no she could not be a Catherine...Kitty it would have to be. Bennet? Ah! Belle had written about them.

Ash waved the proprietor away and continued to pretend to look through the books. What he saw made his heart sink.

Miss Kitty Bennet had walked straight into a group of officers, and joined another young lady. Her sister, perhaps, they looked similar. Both were flirting quite outrageously with the men, quite beyond the limits of propriety.

Something made him feel so angry. He slammed down a book, hurting the cover. Damn! . Now he felt obliged to buy it, and it was some trashy female romance novel.

Why wasn't some relative stopping the despicable display outside? Surely their cousin Mr Collins should do something? But he seemed to be alternatively leering and drooling. That seductive little smile...she...was giving that puny little officer made his blood boil. Why? Why? He had seen her for all of what two seconds? Had he thought he knew what she was like after that? Nevertheless Ash would have sworn that the girl he met on the path...wasn't capable of what was going on outside, but apparently she was.

To make matters worse he saw his cousin, resplendent in full uniform, walking down the street. Captain Lord Douglas, the minute he heard that he was somewhat of a celebrity figure in Meryton, felt it was his duty to go out and create some more interest. Full naval dress uniform, buttons shined especially and that hat which was quite comical even on a ship! Ash shook his head trying not to laugh; the image created was something to be seen.

As Lord Douglas passed the group of flirting officers, Miss Kitty Bennet detached herself and started to walk with him. Ash almost fell over with surprise... what??

It seemed that Lord Douglas was taken back also, but well he was used to female admirers so he quite happily chatted to the...rather...forward brazen...hussy. She was practically throwing herself at him; Ash ground his teeth.

It was no surprise that when Lord Douglas entered the shop, he had a smile on his face.

"I say did you see that?"

"Yes." Answered Ash shortly.

"I take back what I said about Meryton not being Merry. Did you ever see such a brazen girl? Dashed pretty though."

"Douglas?" said Ash curtly.

"Yes..."

"Shut up."

Ash stormed to the counter to pay for the damaged book leaving his cousin rather confused.

Outside Kitty stamped her foot. Mr Collins was still following her. Did he not see the way she was acting? She was acting...loose! And STILL he followed her looking adoringly. Kitty felt dirty. It was a combination of Mr Collins' looks and the flirting. Kitty was normally not so flirtatious and she hadn't flirted in such a long time...Lydia did that enough for both of them. Kitty shuddered as she remembered talking to that naval officer in such a way .... and it was to no avail. She doubted she had convinced Mr Collins she was an unsuitable candidate for a wife. All she had probably done was maligned her reputation.

Part Four.

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts ~ Samuel Johnson.

Captain Lord Douglas looked at his cousin. Ash appeared to be knocking the port back like nothing else. He seemed to even be keeping up with Mr Hurst, which was quite a feat. Lord Douglas frowned...this was most unlike Ash. He had been in a temper since their trip to Meryton that afternoon. The after dinner port session had been particularly interesting; Bingley had chatted on and on about his delightful Jane...in fact the main topic of conversation had been the Bennet girls and their collective charms...it had been most enlightening to Lord Douglas who couldn't wait to meet them all.

Captain Lord Douglas didn't quite appreciate the port. However the brandy seemed to always circulate past him, it was part of some divine plot to stop him drinking...he just knew it. Just because of that time he ended up in the ditch down near the wharves...that was ages ago; and he had no intention of doing it again.

However, this forced sobriety did allow him to observe his companions. Bingley was staring dreamily off into space; Darcy was clutching a glass of wine as though it was about to run away; Mr Hurst was almost paralytic; Colonel Fitzwilliam was looking rather bored and well he had already noted Ash was acting odd.

"Aren't ladies wonderful??" Said Bingley, his tongue somewhat loosened by the drink.

"Oh yes they are wonderful, magnificent, breath taking, superb, amazing, astonishing, magnificent and brilliant. " said Darcy.

Lord Douglas almost snorted...talking about people's tongues being loosened! Was Darce talking about Caroline Bingley?

"They are not wonderful. They are immoral, corrupt, dissolute and decadent." Said Ash bitterly.

So that is his problem. ... some Meryton girl didn't realise his great ... worth and rebuffed him. Thought Lord Douglas to himself. Then he revised his thoughts...even with that theory it didn't really go anyway to explaining his cousin's strange behaviour.

"Really Ash...what do you know of anything!" exclaimed Bingley. "As if you could mean to put Jane into that Category!"

"Or Elizabeth." Said Darcy, before he realised what he was saying. However there was no time for anyone to gape at what Darcy had revealed.

"All women." Said Ash categorically.

Bingly stood up unsteadily. "I hope you mean to withdraw that statement, my lord." Said Bingley dangerously. God help anyone who slandered his Jane!

Lord Douglas looked in alarm at the situation brewing, especially when Darcy stood up glaring at Ash.

The situation was exacerbated by Ash standing up and levelling both men with his dangerous gaze.

"I have not met a woman who wasn't, and I doubt I ever will, so I will not withdraw my statement."

Bingley went a dangerous shade of red and seemed about to launch himself across the wooden table.

"Hey...Hey... Hey." Said Lord Douglas, restraining Bingley. "This is most ungentlemanlike. Stop it now... Bingley you can't attack a guest.... especially one that is so far gone with drink, he knows not what he speaks."

Lord Douglas levelled a look at Ash and hissed "Ash go to bed for heavens sake."

Ash simply turned on his heel and stalked out the room, the room's occupants staring after him.

The party was not a convivial one that went off to bed that night.

Chapter 11, Part 1

Posted on Saturday, 30 December 2000, at 1 : 06 a.m.

Doubt is not a pleasant mental state but certainty is a ridiculous one ~ Voltaire.

Lizzy paced up and down the gravel path. She was so distracted. She balled up her fists. How dare Mr Darcy do that to her? How dare he. It had been two days since he had kissed her, and still she did not know what to think. She had been almost sure she had ejected the feeling from her mind. But only that morning, she had been lying on her bed, between sleep and wake; and she had thought of him . Everything from his face, his walk, his voice... his kiss.

Lizzy shook her head and turned to pace. It was the most improper thing she had ever done.... ever! . To make matters worse, dare she say she might have enjoyed it?

Although she had nothing to compare it with, perhaps if Colonel Fitzwilliam kissed her she might like it more? Ooooooh! Look what a couple of men have done to me! They have turned me into some simpering little bath miss!

Lizzy firmly told herself that she would not think of this any longer. She could go to Rosing's without any fear of...of...anything. For that was really the most worrying thing, Mr Darcy must have kissed her for some reason! And what precisely did he mean to do now?

And what of Colonel Fitzwilliam??

Lizzy was on the verge of either screaming or crying when she saw the very same Colonel walking towards her with a smile on his face.

"Miss Bennet, I cannot tell you how delighted I am to have found you."

"Colonel." Said Lizzy trying to keep her voice even.

Colonel Fitzwilliam took her hand and kissed it; Lizzy felt nothing. But she blushed, due to the very searching way Colonel Fitzwilliam was looking at her.

"Miss Bennet, let us go sit on that bench." Lizzy demurely allowed the Colonel to lead her to the bench, it was only as she sat down that she realised it was that bench ...that had caused all the trouble...with Mr Darcy....

"Well Colonel how are you?"

"Oh very fine. Unfortunately Netherfield has been upset by some differences of opinion. It always occurs when a large group of men are together, with little female influence, as my sister usually takes sides in a squabble which is of no use."

"You do not think Miss Bingley influential?" asked Lizzy archly.

"Miss Bingley may have some control over her brother, but I assure you she has none over Darcy, Douglas or myself; Mr Hurst is beyond help; and the day I see my brother take the advice of a female who is not my mother I shall eat my hat."

Lizzy smiled. "So how have you kept the peace."

"I should like to have said that I was the one keeping the tempers in check, but alas I was too busy thinking about something I have recently learnt to do so. In fact surprisingly it has been Douglas."

"Douglas?"

"Oh I forget, that you have not met my cousin...or indeed my brother. But at least you have heard about him. My cousin, the son of the Duke of Hollingbury, Captain Lord Douglas Cheveley; much too much of a rattle to have such an impressive title!"

Lizzy smiled.

"Although I cannot say I quite approve of his methods, of keeping the peace. They seem to solely consist of drawing everyone's attention away from the argument by being quite the clown. His new idea is that everyone should call him Topper."

Lizzy almost choked. "Topper?"

"Yes, though the exclamation that burst forth from Darce after hearing it was quite classic. It went a little something like this -"

Lord Douglas looked at the faces around him. They weren't happy faces. If there was something Lord Douglas did not like it was unhappy faces. It put such a dampener on one's evening. Now he knew that Bingley and Ash had had a quiet little chat, but there was residual strain. Obviously Bingley didn't care to admit that the reason he got so het up was because he really was considering the fact that Jane Bennet was the one. Why he didn't just say so was puzzling - as everyone already knew. Ash was more of a puzzle, it was doubtful he had given anyone a reason for his outburst - it was not in his style when he was angry. Darcy was even more confusing, Lord Douglas had gleaned the knowledge that there existed a Miss Elizabeth Bennet, but Darcy disclaimed he meant her; although Ricky looked pained whenever anyone mentioned Miss Elizabeth. Mr Hurst was drunk as a skunk - again.

Lord Douglas lined up his shot, and sunk two balls. No body congratulated him, everyone just stood lost in there own thoughts. Oh for heaven's sake there has got to be someway of diverting them.

"You know I was thinking - I've decided that my nickname of Trumps is quite, quite old. I think you have to keep re-inventing yourself every so often - wouldn't you agree Ash?"

Dead silence. "Ricky?"

Silence.

Fine then - they asked for it. "I was thinking that Topper was quite a tops name."

There was more dead silence; however Lord Douglas to his consternation did note that several of his companions were having difficulty controlling themselves. Darcy who had just finished lining up a shot, stood up slowly.

"Topper? As in I-wanna-topper-myself??" he said incredulously.

"No! Not like that! Really, cannot you appreciate a good name!" exclaimed Lord Douglas, suddenly finding himself the subject of much laughter.

Fine Fine - see if I try and cheer you all up again! Thought Lord Douglas

Colonel Fitzwilliam stopped telling his little story when he saw Lizzy's strained smile "Well perhaps you needed to be there."

Lizzy looked oddly at the Colonel. Why had he come here? And why was he telling her about what Mr Darcy had said. And lastly was did he appear to be scrutinising her. The Colonel dropped his gaze quickly when he noticed that Lizzy was looking just as keenly at him.

"Well, I believe that you are coming to Rosing's Miss Bennet?"

"Yes, I think I am sir."

Part Two.

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance ~ George Bernard Shaw

Mrs Bennet sewed viciously. She was quite distracted. In fact everyone in the room appeared quite distracted. Mrs Bennet was happy that one daughter seemed on the verge of married. But was there any hope for the rest of her daughters, if the men did not come to call? To make matters worse, Kitty did not seem to be very happy about her engagement, in fact she seemed to be actively opposing it.

Jane she had no doubt would marry Mr Bingley and soon; Lizzy would marry Lord Ashbourne; Mary would marry Mr Darcy even if she did appear to have alienated him and Lydia would marry Lord Douglas. It was quite worked out in Mrs Bennet's mind. It did not matter to her that two of the prospective bride-grooms had not even set eyes upon her girls.

"Why do they not come?" she wailed.

"Who come? Mama?" asked Jane.

"The gentlemen from Netherfield! Do not be so obtuse Jane!"

"Well when Colonel Fitzwilliam was here, he did say that there were some arguments at Netherfield, most probally they are sorting them out Mama."

"Arguments Lizzy? Arguments! I hope this does not put off the ball! Oh what if one of the gentlemen was to be injured. You could not dance or be seen with a man who looks as though he engages in bar-room brawls."

"You know what men who do that look like mama?" asked Lydia with interest.

"Oh be quiet child!' huffed Mrs Bennet, attacking her sewing again.

"I'm sure Cha - Mr Bingley does not mean to fight, Mama" said Jane.

"Oh yes he does! Yes he does! And then he will be killed and what will become of you! Of us all! Oh my smelling salts!" cried Mrs Bennet.

Jane obediently held them under her mother's nose.

"Mama, I think you refine too much upon this. I am sure that no gentleman would mean to fight another gentleman who was staying under the same roof as himself." Said Mary.

"What would you know!" cried Mrs Bennet. "Men are foolish creatures."

"Much like our daughters m'dear" said Mr Bennet quietly.

"Oh I must protest sir, your Catherine is not at all silly." Simpered Mr Collins. Kitty tried to scoot even further away from him, but Mr Collins only moved closer.

Mr Bennet frowned at this, but this reminder of Mr Collins, made Mrs Bennet smile from ear to ear. The rest of the Bennet girls, bar Lydia, looked sympathetically at their sister Kitty, but could not see how to help her.

"Oh yes Kitty is not at all silly she has caught herself a handsome husband, have you not Kitty dear." Said Lydia in a very crowing manner.

Part Three

Yeah / This time I'm gonna let it all come out /This time I'm gonna stand up and shout / I'm gonna do things my way / It's my way / My way, or the highway ~ Limp Bizkit "My Way"

Kitty was quite tormented. For three days now, Mr Collins had followed her around, he simply would not leave her alone; it was enough to make Kitty resigned to her fate.

Miraculously she had managed to escape the house without his companionship. Kitty, almost blinded by hot tears, hurried along the path, she blinked them away and tried to think of other things.

Like the latest gossip from Netherfield. None of the Netherfield gentlemen had come to call for three days; causing their mother to cry out "For three days they have shunned us". The gossip was, according to Lizzy and supported by Mrs Phillips that there had been altercations between the gentlemen staying in the house. Mrs Bennet had bemoaned this, hoping that it would not delay the ball. Kitty could not help but think no ball would be a good thing. At least she couldn't dance with Mr Collins!

Out of the range of their mother's ears; Jane had hoped that Mr Bingley had not been involved in any real fighting, and Lizzy seemed unusually concerned for Mr Darcy's well being. Kitty did not think Lizzy even liked Mr Darcy. The gentlemen's not calling had meant that Mr Collins had more time in which to insinuate himself into Kitty's routine. The officers calling on Lydia had even taken to avoiding her.

Kitty felt herself about to cry again, to stop herself she stomped angrily down an embankment, demanding that her tear ducts control themselves.

"Ooohhh" cried Kitty, sharp pains shooting up her leg. "Stupid Stupid Ankle" Stepping into a tangle of bracken, she had twisted her ankle. She did not even think she could walk, the pain was too immense, and she had no option but to sit down, in a rather undignified way. Kitty hoped her salvation was not long in arriving.

"Cousin Catherine....Cousin Catherine!!"

Dear lord, please let him not see me...please. Apparently her plea went unnoticed. Mr Collins slithered down the path towards her.

"My dear, what a secluded place for a tryst."

"A Tryst??" exclaimed Kitty, hurriedly trying to stand up. She did not want to think what might happen if Mr Collins tried to sink down to her level.

Mr Collins clasped her around the waist, hot breath accumulating on her neck. "A tryst my dear, dear, dear little Kitty. Miaow."

"Sir Sir!" cried kitty trying to fend him off without putting weight upon her ankle but the pain was too acute for her to attempt it successfully.

"My dear Cousin, Lady Catherine De Bourgh, will be so happy when we are wed, we shall be the happiest of couples. You will give me fine sons...I can tell that sort of thing."

Kitty almost retched. Suddenly she almost lost all control of her balance and was forced to clutch hold of Mr Collins to stop her falling over in a heap. He took it as a sign of encouragement. Never before had Kitty been so fondled and petted. She tried to scream but no sound would be admitted.

"Sir, unhand her. Cannot you see she is in distress? Stop acting in this disgraceful manner."

Kitty stopped breathing...it was her handsome stranger! In a trice he swung her up into his arms...as if she weighed no more than a feather.

"Your ankle is injured I assume Miss Bennet?" he inquired.

Kitty felt faint, he knew her name and she didn't' know his! "Yes...Yes...and my pride." She added in an under voice. He gave an unconscious smile.

Part Four.

Drama makes the world go around / Does anybody got a problem with that? ~ Limp Bizkit "Livin' It Up"

Colonel Lord Ashbourne, traipsed through the woods, wearing his oldest clothes, they always made him feel better - strange how clothes could feel as though they were friends. The last few days had not brought much joy. There was that horrible moment in the study, where both Bingley and himself were trying to apologise as much as possible to each other without revealing motivations for their actions. Not that Bingley's was difficult to tell, he was madly in love with Jane Bennet and he thought her perfect. Ash hoped that any theories about his motivations were very wide from the mark. Although he suspected Douglas might have a suspicion. In fact Ash was quite sure Douglas either suspected or was going insane. He quite frankly hoped it was the latter. Ash tried not to have convulsive fits at the rather bizarre way Douglas had managed to divert everyone's mind by deciding upon a new nickname.

Darcy had tried to bluff his way out of his little slip-up at dinner by pretending he meant the Elizabeth that used to teach him French, but nobody believed him. Ricky seemed to wish to escape the tension of the household; he had sneaked off to visit Longbourn subversively. A reconnaissance mission in fact. The tension had somewhat abated after the apologies were made, but everyone seemed to be trying dashed hard to stay out of everyone else's way less they reveal too much or offend.

Ash had decided a walk was in order to clear his mind, especially with the news crowed by Caroline Bingley that Miss Catherine Bennet was to marry the slimy cousin. He knew he shouldn't care...but for an inexplicable reason he did. And speak of the devil.

There she was... involved with Mr Collins. Ash was about to turn away when he realised that Miss Kity Bennet was less than impressed with the situation. She actually seemed to be in pain. Ash's sharp eyes picked out the awkward way her ankle appeared to be positioned and started hurriedly walking over towards her. She had a right to be in pain even if she hadn't twisted her ankle - the way Mr Collins was manhandling her!

Before he quite knew what was happening, he was walking back towards Longbourn with Miss Kitty Bennet in his arms, and Mr Collins lolloping along behind them. It took about two seconds for Ash to decide that however much of a flirt Miss Kitty Bennet might be, she did not deserve to be married to such a man.

"I insist sir that you put my fiancée down."

"She is injured, man!" replied Ash scornfully.

"Well I can carry her!" said Mr Collins glaring at this impudent upstart.

"No! No!" said Kitty faintly. She didn't have much to fear, Ash wouldn't have trusted Collins to carry a piece of hay, let alone a female in distress.

"You, sir, will pay, for your impertinence! How dare you appropriate my fiancée? "

"Appropriate??" exclaimed Ash looking at this fool of a man.

"I will have you arrested!" Collins exclaimed bouncing up and down excitedly now that Longbourn was insight and he was sure this man could not knock him down without everyone knowing about it.

"Arrested for what? Helping a lady in distress?" said Ash with surprise.

"For being improper! My patroness Lady Catherine De Bourgh will be most shocked at behaviour in such a man as you! She expects the lower classes to stay in their ranks, and not to put themselves forward shamelessly!"

"Oh No." groaned Ash. Not his aunt, anything but his aunt!

"You see, you admit your brazenness!"

"I don't admit anything of the sort!" said Ash with disdain.

Mr Collins ran into Longbourn, shouting for doctors and constables and other such persons. Presumably to help his fiancée and then to arrest him thought Ash with amusement.

Ash ignored the crowd of people that seemed to welcome his arrival. He had perceived several minutes ago that Miss Kitty Bennet had fainted. He simply walked up the stairs, followed by Mr Collins in a tirade about the lower classes, what he assumed to be Mrs Bennet shrieking and Mr Bennet demanding to know the reason for the whole affair. A sensible young lady at the top of the stairs directed Ash towards a bedroom, where he deposited his. ...Well not very cumbersome load.

He tried to make his bow and escape, but Mr Collns blocked his entrance.

"This. ...This man.... frightened poor little Kitty to death and then bore her off!"

Ash stopped short, Mr Collins obviously felt it was best to deflect blame from himself, just the sort of thing he would have expected the odious man to do. Ash glared at the podgy parson; the glare worked, as it always did.

"I must ask the meaning of this sir. " exclaimed Mr Bennet, looking backwards and forwards between Ash and Mr Collins.

Ash reached into his coat and drew out his card case; calmly opening it he withdrew a card.

"My card sir. Colonel Lord Ashbourne at your service. I suggest you ask Miss Bennet for an accurate description of events, when she is better. But if you do wish to demand satisfaction I will be at Netherfield. Good day. "

Ash bowed and suddenly unhindered made his way towards the door.

"Thank you." It was a weak little voice. He turned, Miss Kitty Bennet appeared to have woken up, she fixed her big eyes upon him and suddenly Ash felt trapped.

He hurriedly bowed again and all but ran down the stairs. No, No, No, No , he told himself firmly.

Chapter 12, Part 1

Posted on Friday, 12 January 2001, at 11 : 31 p.m.

No woman ever falls in love with a man unless she has a better opinion of him than he deserves ~ Ed Howe.

Kitty looked at her swollen ankle and sighed. There was only barely a week until the Ball and her ankle looked well.... grotesque. How could she possibly dance with Colonel Lord Ashbourne with such an ankle? Kitty did not care that he hadn't asked her to dance, she knew that as a gentleman he would at least feel honour bound to ask for one, and then she would not let him out of her sight.

Around her lay all the London papers she could find. There was scant reference to Colonel Lord Ashbourne in them; no doubt that was because he was down in Hertfordshire. However Kitty treasured the references about him, and especially topics of conversation she could start with him.

In fact that is what she spent most of her morning doing; lazing back dreaming of fictitious conversations she would have with Colonel Lord Ashbourne. Somehow, no matter where these conversations were held, it would end with riding away into the sunset/dawn/snow/rain together. So Romantic!!!!

However, there was one little thorn in her side, that Kitty could not see any way around - her mother. Her mother was still insistent that Kitty would marry Mr Collins. In fact Mr Collins was still insistent that she marry Mr Collins, but Kitty did not fear Mr Collins - at least not yet. Her mother was another matter!

Ever since Colonel Lord Ashbourne had brought Kitty home, her mother had been exclaiming in what a good light Lizzy had been shown to Colonel Lord Ashbourne, and how he must have noticed how sensible she was to point him to a room.

Lizzy however did not seem at all interested in Colonel Lord Ashbourne. She seemed to be devoting quite a lot of time to Kitty reading the paper to her, sewing etc. Kitty was unsure of why Lizzy was suddenly such a model sister, but she was not at all sorry to have her company.

"What do you think of Colonel Lord Ashbourne Lizzy?" said making sure her sister was not at all interested.

'He seemed very gentlemanlike. It was most kind of him to - er - rescue you." Said Lizzy placidly. Kitty was very glad to note that Lizzy still seemed uninterested.

"Yes well but mamma - "

'Yes I know Kitty. Mamma thinks I could 'catch' him, I am well aware of that but I do not wish to speak of it."

"You don't wish to capture him?" Kitty asked feigning nonchalance.

Lizzy smiled at Kitty. "Oh no. I don't think he is quite my type. "Lizzy put down her sewing, and seemed to be forming something in her head. "In fact I do not think he is any Hertfordshire lady's type. Or we are not his type I should say. Young, handsome, rich Lords do not pick country girls for wives."

Kitty frowned at this; Lizzy was obviously trying to warn her, but Kitty didn't need warning. Warnings were only necessary when the gentleman you liked was unobtainable, and something seemed to tell Kitty that Colonel Lord Ashbourne was obtainable.

"Of course Lizzy, everyone knows that." Kitty simply replied demurely.

"Kitty." Said Lizzy warningly.

"Well Lizzy, you'd be looking at every opportunity too if you were going to have to marry Mr Collins. And well you saw the way Mr Collins almost fell all over Colonel Lord Ashbourne when he found out exactly whose nephew he was! I think if anyone could persuade Mr Collins that he shouldn't marry me it would be Colonel Lord Ashbourne."

"I simply do not understand your fascination with him. You used to have such a high opinion of clothes. One would think Lord Ashbourne had no money to see what he was dressed in when he arrived here. "

Kitty gave a mischievous smile. "But sister, there are so many other fine qualities of a man besides his clothes."

Lizzy looked up shocked. "Kitty... Please!"

"What Lizzy? I only meant his mind. What did you think I meant? " Said Kitty innocently as her sister glared at her.

Part Two.

If God wanted us to brave, why did he give us legs? ~ Marvin Kitman

Ash pulled on his gloves. He tried not to give into the urge to slap his cousin with it.

"So this urgent business of yours, what precisely is it?"

"Regiment business."

"Regiment business? Really?"

Ash readjusted his cravat; in the mirror he saw a movement in the background.

"Douglas, stop rifling around in my desk, if you please."

"Not answering to that name." Came the reply.

Ash turned around. "Trumps?" ; no response, his personal possessions were still being inspected. "Topper?"

"Yes?" came the reply, but Lord Douglas didn't pause in his activities he opened a letter and started perusing it.

Ash snatched it out of his hand. "Stop it."

"A love letter?" said Lord Douglas interested.

"It's from Mr Collins." Replied Ash shortly.

"Ash! I would have never guessed. You and Mr Collins...well, I am shocked." Said Lord Douglas looking surprised.

Ash picked up the nearest pillow and threw it at his cousin.

There was extensive muffled laughter. Ash groaned and handed him the letter.

Lord Douglas emerged from the pillow. He gave a little cough and started to read in a rather silly voice.

" Your eminence -

I thought that was only for bishops?"

Lord Douglas caught the warning look in Ash's eye and continued.

"Your eminence - I feel it behoves me to apologise for my behaviour yesterday, and the behaviour of my fiancée. She was most inappropriate in her wilfulness; she should have not collapsed where you were forced to help her.

What on earth is Mr Collins going on about, Ash and who is he???"

"Mr Collins is that slimy man I'm sure you saw in Meryton, possibly with his fiancée that forward girl who came to talk to you."

"She's engaged to a man who writes letters like this! Oh that's just wrong. What's her name?"

"Miss Catherine/Kitty Bennet." Said Ash trying to remain focussed.

Ash could feel Douglas's eye's boring into the back of his head. Ash felt alarmed...good god he wasn't blushing was he? He let out a sigh of relief when he heard Lord Douglas snicker as he read another part of Mr Collins' letter.

"My dear sir, I would like to take this opportunity to inform you that your aunt was in perfect health - several days ago. You are most blessed to be the nephew of such a woman. Her beneficence and condescension and affability is something I am sure she has taught you -

Oh dear. He isn't talking about Lady Catherine is he?"

Ash nodded with a wry smile.

" My dear, punctilious, Sir.

Punctilious? Do you think he knows what that means?

I am quite worried about your apparel, no doubt it is an eccentricity much admired in your set, but would your mother approve? Or more importantly your aunt?"

Lord Douglas gave up, throwing the letter down. Ash shook his head; there were 5 pages of the stuff, long verbose, all with the same meaning. Mr Collins grovelling and apologising while managing to be offensive. He had actually walked over to Netherfield several times to personally apologise to him.

And every time Ash saw the little slime, he felt an increasing need to hit him. Somehow Mr Collins thought that off-loading his blame onto Miss Kitty Bennet was the smart way to gain Lord Ashbourne's compassion.

Instead it just made Ash want to drown the man. Indirectly it had the effect of making Ash want to leave Netherfield as quickly as possible. Silly, flirtatious women... who looked so innocent and helpless.... gah ...should not be arousing such emotions in him. It was best to put as much time, space and area between himself and Miss Kitty Bennet.

It is interesting to note that Ash did not even take into consideration that the young lady in question was engaged; curiously he did not think this was an obstacle to courting the young lady.... well if he wanted to...which he most assuredly did not!

In fact Ash kept telling himself that, even up to the point where the carriage door was closed upon him. His friends were sorry to see him go, Caroline was so distraught she needed to take a tablet; but Ash was more concerned with Lord Douglas's rather unusual smile as he was waving Ash off - it seemed to say "I know why you are leaving".

Somehow Ash thought. I should have taken Douglas with me.

Part Three

'Tis know by the name of perseverance in a good cause, and obstinacy in a bad one ~ Laurence Sterne.

Mr Darcy smiled as he waved Ash off. Ash had been acting very strangely - but then he supposed so had he. Mr Darcy hoped that his glib explanation of the 'Elizabeth' comment, had been accepted, but he had grave doubts of this.

Especially when Ricky had sidled up to him and said, "I thought the woman who taught you French was Miss Anna Brown?" Darcy had of course said nothing to this; instead he tried to slink away while Ricky was waiting for an answer. Darcy knew that well.... Ricky and Elizabeth seemed to have prior claims upon each other, so he, Darcy, should not interfere in that (and he most definitely should not kiss Elizabeth.)

As much as Darcy's head was telling him this, Darcy's heart was saying something else...and that something else was not very kind to his cousin. In fact he thought the best thing for all people concerned was to go to Longbourn and ascertain Elizabeth's feelings about the * ahem * incident before he did another thing.

However Darcy did not want company, so he managed to sidle out of Netherfield, while Caroline Bingley was swapping attentions from the departing Lord, to the Lord in residence.... who was trying to create a human shield with the other men.

The plan, did not quite work properly, Longbourn was a deceptively long way from Netherfield. And the fields! The Fields! Darcy was sure his breeches were six inches - six inches - deep in mud! Then when he finally asked a convenient farmer the actual way to Longbourn, he found he could have walked the whole distance along relatively dirt free and cobbled ways.

But this shock was nothing compared to the sight that the lawns of Longbourn showed Darcy. There were swarms of men already there! He was comforted by the fact that they were all officers, mainly milling around Miss Lydia and Miss Kitty.

His pace was slow; he was blinded by the red coats with their polished metallic accessories (polished especially for the occasion). Also he felt obliged to at least discover, why the Bennet lawn looked like the holding ground for a review. By some careful, intentional overhearing, he discovered that they had all come to beg dances from the ladies.

Miss Lydia was toying with whom she should accept and whom she shouldn't, she appeared to be devising a list. Miss Kitty seemed to be trying to accept dances, but The Blob kept reminding her that he had promised from her the two first...and the two second and the two fifth...and of course the Boulanger and well she would be toooooo tired to dance any more. So the officers starting dropping back from asking her.

Darcy had an alarming thought...what if everyone was claiming dances from Elizabeth; he hurriedly pushed officers out of the way willy-nilly, to reach his goal. He found her under a tree, with Captain Wickham. (And yes it was that bench ...)

"Of course Captain Wickham I will dance the two first with you. It would be an honour."

Darcy stiffened, then noticed Wickham and Elizabeth were looking at him, and he pretended he had only stiffened for a bow.

"Miss Bennet, Captain Wickham, a pleasure I am sure."

"Miss Bennet, may I write my dance on your dance card?" said Wickham with a smile. Darcy tried not to frown as Elizabeth smiled and handed over her card.

"Silly things I think, but well mamma insisted. Mr Darcy please don't stand about in that stupid manner, sit down."

Darcy complied; though he did sit at the very end of the bench, and really perched rather than sat. Elizabeth received the card back from Wickham and a blush drove it's way up to Elizabeth's cheeks.

"Captain Wickham...." She said in a hoarse voice.

Darcy became alarmed... what had the rascal written.

"But Miss Bennet, I fear that Darcy would be a far better partner for the first two dances than my humble self, I will beg another two at the ball, that is if Darcy can bear to give you up."

Wickham then bowed and walked away. Darcy looked sideways at Elizabeth who was looking sideways at him.

"Would you dance the first with me...Eli- Miss Bennet?"

Elizabeth looked away and then seemed to force herself to look back at him. "Well sir my card says that I am engaged to Mr F. Darcy for the first two, so I suppose I am." She said looking at him archly.

Darcy smiled at her. "Do you always believe what little pieces of card tell you Miss Bennet?" he replied just as archly. Elizabeth looked confused for a little while, as though she had not expected him to react in that way. Elizabeth gave a winning smile, and unconsciously Darcy found himself slowly sliding down the bench towards her, he must have been moving inch by inch as soon as he sat down; for he was almost right next to her now.

Darcy noticed that Elizabeth seemed to be holding his gaze; perhaps well.... they were in a rather secluded spot.... perhaps...Darcy leant forward.

"Ah Miss Bennet, I have found you at last. I beg you to dance with me at Bingley's ball. "

If looks could kill Colonel Fitzwilliam would have died a thousands deaths. Elizabeth haltingly accepted him for the two second, while Darcy tried to ascertain whether Ricky had purposely interrupted them or not.

Part Four.

Hey now you're an all star, get your game on, go play. Hey now you're a rock star, get the show on get paid. ~ Smashmouth.

Kitty swirled about in her indigo blue dress; it showed off her eyes to perfection, well that was what Mama had said anyway. She waltzed down the stairs thinking how lovely the ball would be, when she was arrested by the sight of Mr Collins in full ball regalia (circa 1700's)...and exactly how many dances did she have to dance with him???

"My dear Mrs Bennet, do you not think that gown, a trifle too elegant for Cousin Catherine??" exclaimed Mr Collins, alarmed that his darling Kitty's charms could be exposed to anyone who wasn't him.

Kitty bit off a sharp reply as Lizzy pinched her arm.

"No No Mr Collins that colour suits Kitty very well, her naturally pale complexion is shown to much advantage." Replied Mrs Bennet.

Kitty suppressed the urge to poke out her tongue at Mr Collins.

They were divided into two carriages; they were forced to use their very old dilapidated carriage that only just made the trip without it's wheels falling off.

Kitty, as it was, was squashed next to Mary, her mother on the other seat and Mr Collins sat opposite her. The jury was out on whether Kitty preferred him to be there or next to her - his legs seemed to be doing unnecessary brushing.

Kitty ignored them for the journey, focussing intently on the moonlit night.

Netherfield was lit up like a Christmas tree; lights sparkled, joyful voices were heard even as the carriage swept up the drive.

Kitty was still in awe as she slowly stepped up the stairs to the entrance. She hardly heard Caroline and Charles Bingley greeting her. She had never seen such a pretty room, so happily situated, the vines crawling up the walls added a outdoor touch, to an already perfect arrangement.

The next thing Kitty noticed was, out of the corner of her eye, a man approached her. She turned expecting to see Colonel Lord Ashbourne. Instead she saw that man...she had audaciously flirted with in the main street of Meryton. Kitty looked for an avenue of escape...there was none. She crossed her fingers and hoped he would pass her by.

"I don't think we have been properly introduced, Miss Bennet. Allow me to do so. Captain Lord Douglas Cheveley at your service." He possessed himself of her hand and kissed it.

Kitty smiled wanly - of course the man she stupidly flirted with to get rid of Mr Collins would be the Lord staying at Netherfield.

"My lord...I.... I..." she tried to find words to explain her actions of that day, but he cut her off.

"I believe you are probably looking for my cousin, Lord Ashbourne, I am much afraid he was called back to town." Lord Douglas paused. "But he asked me to send you his particular regrets."

Lord Douglas watched her intently. It was as he expected...she was the young lady who had put his cousin in such a temper. Also he noted, her expression when hearing Ash was not to be at the ball was sincere melancholy, so was her pleasure at hearing his... message (which Lord Douglas was sure Ash would have left, if he had been thinking straight). It was obvious, in the case of his cousin, she was no flirt; her expression wasn't pleasure at capturing another victim, it was heartfelt happiness. Then what could she have been about that day in Meryton???

"Cousin Catherine...where are you?" oozed a voice, that sent shivers down Lord Douglas' spine.

"Ah there you are my dear...who is this."

"Lord Douglas, this is my cousin Mr Collins." Said Kitty wretchedly.

"Her fiancé " added the greasy man. It was as if a light popped on above Lord Douglas' head - this was the reason Miss Kitty had been flirting outrageously, trying to rid herself of a fiancé!

"We are not engaged." Hissed Kitty, wishing the floor would open up and suck her in.

"Well I know it isn't a proper engagement...but my dear future-wife, where I'm concerned it is proper. "

"Well Miss Bennet, if your cousin doesn't mind, would you do me the great honour of dancing the first with me?" asked Lord Douglas.

Kitty looked at Mr Collins - was he about to claim she was promised to him? - Surprisingly he did not.

"My lord, you may borrow my precious Kitty, it will be such an honour for her, to dance with such an eminent man as yourself. Do not disgrace yourself Cousin."

Kitty went bright red as she took Lord Douglas' arm and was led away. She was not going to marry that man - even if she had to become a nun.

"Well Miss Bennet let me tell you, I think the honour is really all mine."

Kitty had to look down to hide her blush. Why did every man she met have to be more charming and personable then the man the world was conspiring to marry her to??

Kitty was lead into the first dance, and managed to enjoy herself thoroughly. Her partner was a very voluble character and discussed everything and everyone at length. He managed to say very opinionated things, to goad her into betraying her own opinions on the matter, and then suddenly changed his perspective. It was if he was deliberately stirring her, and didn't mean any of his wild standpoints, he was simply trying to get her to admit to hers. By the end of her dance she liked him very much; he was one of those types of persons who cheered you immensely. However she could see that the overwhelming urge to slap him would definitely become a problem for any sort of long-term relationship.

Lord Douglas similarly enjoyed his dance. Miss Kitty was an excellent dancer, and though she may look vaguely insipid but when roused she had quite pert and strong opinions. She was also very beautiful when she wasn't looking like she was trying to impress everyone. He had a vague notion that the girl down the end of the dance, in the bright pink décolleté dress, which exposed all too much of her charms, was her sister. If this was true he might be able to understand the unattractive mixture of Kitty Bennet's flirtatious and unassuming character. With a sister like that she would oft be pushed to the side, and to be noticed she would have to be outrageous like her sisters. However Lord Douglas thought there was definitely something about Miss Kitty...definitely something about her. Now how to lure Ash back....

Further along the Dance, Lizzy felt a shock run through her as she took Mr Darcy's hand. She tried to pretend it hadn't occurred and tried to think of interesting things to say. The only problem is the afternoon Mr Darcy and her had been sneakily thrown together by Mr Wickham (and after the Colonel had wandered off in search of his cousin) she had tried to talk as fast as possible about all manner of things, to keep the conversation from turning to the event that had happened once, and almost happened a second time. This however backfired, because it meant they had really little left to discuss now, and well a ballroom was no place to discuss the event...

Lizzy was most surprised with the kindness and lack of arrogance Mr Darcy showed during their latest....meetings...she was most in charity with him. Well she was more than in charity with him.... there were distinct feelings of.... well.... ahem.... admiration? But what of the Colonel? Would she be hurting him if well.... she.... and his cousin...well...became.... friends... Lizzy blushed as she saw Mr Darcy looking at her. "Come Mr Darcy I feel we must have some conversation."

Darcy wondered what Elizabeth was thinking. He knew what he was thinking - could such a woman be on this earth for him? Darcy could not help looking sideways at Colonel Fitzwilliam when he thought this - surely God would not be so cruel as to have one woman perfect for two men? Darcy caught himself staring at Elizabeth and was quite happy to have her speak. It stopped his thinking.

Colonel Fitzwilliam placed himself purposely next to Darcy and Miss Elizabeth in the dance. He wanted to watch their interaction together. The Colonel was most confused, he kept having thoughts, if he really liked Miss Elizabeth.... shouldn't his brain have stopped calling her Miss? Did he like her? She was pretty and lively, but so was his current partner, a charming Blonde who was the daughter of a Dutchman. Miss Erin Van Den Hoogenband, managed to lure the Colonel's attention away from the couple next to him for the remainder of the dance. Which caused the Colonel to think as he was leading Miss Van Den Hoogenband to the punch; if he was in love with Miss Elizabeth...should he be able to be so easily distracted??

Chapter 13, Part 1

Posted on Thursday, 18 January 2001, at 6 : 06 a.m.

The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche.

While Colonel Fitzwilliam was worrying about whether, he was too easily distracted; his sister was living hell on earth. Mr Collins had accosted Lady Annabelle, and begged for her hand, for the first two dances. Lady Annabelle had accepted, reasoning that if Mr Collins was dancing with her, he could not dance with Kitty. It was only when Mr Collins led her into the first dance that she realised that Kitty was very well taken care of, and hadn't needed her sacrifice at all. But Lady Annabelle was already committed to half an hour of pure torture.

Lady Annabelle felt eyes upon her, she could hear their minds thinking. Why is her ladyship dancing with that?Why did no one else dance with her ladyship? Was there something wrong with her ladyship? Lady Annabelle knew that everyone expected certain things from her as an earl's daughter, even the ton expected something; she was lively, beautiful and captivating....she should always be dancing and always with someone quite unexceptional. Yet here she was, dancing at a private country ball, with a slimy parson. She could feel those eyes upon her. Mr Collins walked the wrong way -again, managing to step on Lady Annabelle's foot, tear her dress and put his face in her bosom.

The only thing stopping Lady Annabelle from running from the set was the fact that it would be more humiliating that dancing. If she ran, people would inquire as to the reason and thus anyone who might not have seen Mr Collins dancing skills, would be informed. So Lady Annabelle gritted her teeth and tried to look pleasant. It was times like these she needed someone like Lord Upton. He was an elegant dancer, refined manners, quite unexceptional. It was hardly his fault that he was in Lady Annabelle's eyes too old, thirty-three was old in her opinion. Apart from that she could not fault him - except perhaps his unfortunate tendency to dote. Lady Annabelle had been quite aware that she had given Lord Upton, in vulgar parlance, a leveller; she had well and truly sent him to grass. She shook her head trying to forget, she had used him abominably, she admitted that much, she was more sorry at her actions towards him that any other of her erstwhile swain. But this was not helping - now she was forgetting the steps of the dance. Lady Annabelle went back to concentrating on the dance.

Colonel Fitzwilliam was still worried. He had just lead Elizabeth Bennet into the two second, and he didn't feel ecstatic. Shouldn't he feel ecstatic? Lizzy was feeling quite the same way there was no...........spark. It was like dancing with a very old friend. Comfortable and interesting, but not...thrilling!

Darcy on the other hand, had stood up with a Mrs Julia Firth and was trying to stay, as much as the dance would allow, close to The Colonel and Elizabeth as possible. Mrs Firth, was quite understandably not happy about her partner's distraction. It was obvious to her that Darcy was enraptured with the lively pretty brunette, who was doing an admirable job trying not to show how much she wanted to dance with Darcy, instead of the handsome Colonel in front of her. Mrs Firth was quite sympathetic to Darcy and the pretty brunette's plight, but she didn't come down from London, after Lady Annabelle's invitation, to dance with a distracted Darcy. She calmly trod on his foot, causing Darcy to stumble forward a little.

"Don't be a fool, sleeves weren't made for hearts." She hissed in his ear, before he straightened back up. Darcy appeared to get the picture and looked apologetically at Mrs Firth. She enjoyed the rest of her set, as Darcy forced him to be his most charming...after all Mr Firth was a very important London figure and could make or break Darcy if he chose.

Darcy did end up enjoying his dance. He resolved to put all thoughts of Elizabeth out of his mind for some times. If things were meant to be, things were meant to be. Plus he did not see how anyone could not enjoy themselves, with such a woman. Mrs Firth was definitely on his list of accomplished women.

Lord Douglas tried not to openly laugh at the actions of Mr Darcy who were further up the dance than himself and his...if he dared to say so, ravishing partner - Mrs Elli Northam. Another one of Lady Annabelle's London friends, she danced to perfection and always flirted with the most handsome men, she made it a rule. However her list of handsome men was quite short and her husband's name appeared quite a few times! Lord Douglas was currently amusing her with short descriptions of the characters of Meryton. She had in turn favoured him with her opinion of events, only from a very short time of observations. Lord Douglas was surprised to find that she thought Darcy was in love; he had not thought Darcy's heart so openly exposed. It must be the pretty brunette, dancing next to him. He found out her name was Elizabeth Bennet... Ooooh! Must be the one that Darcy got all tetchy about before and said Elizabeth was his French teacher! But how could Mrs Northam in a glance realise all that about Darcy? Mrs Northam just smiled archly and said "Oh but I read my novels, he is proud and reserved she is lively and pert...they must be in love" Lord Douglas not quite understanding the logic behind that, shook his head and decided to focus on having a good time.

And that he did. (Mrs Northam, wouldn't let any of her partners, not have a good time - it would reflect badly on her, and well who couldn't have a good time with Lord Douglas)

The Ball continued much like described in a wonderful novel, by a genius, excepting it was Kitty pursued by Mr Collins, and that Mary decided not to sing, instead she showed her talent with a recitation of a prose piece, which showed off her talents much better. Mrs Bennet was still coarse, and embarrassing, and Lydia was Lydia.... everything was everywhere with Lydia. Mrs Bennet conspired to have their carriages called last, so when the doors of Netherfield closed upon the Bennets, the Bingley sisters were excessively glad to have them gone!

Part Two.

When I say 'everyone says so' I mean I say so!" ~ Ed Howe.

Lydia tripped gaily over the Bennet's threshold, looking to the entire world, not at all like a young lady who had just spent many hours at a ball, and was just arriving home at the dissipated hour of 3am. Lydia boasted loudly to her sisters who were more decorously following her, that she had danced every dance and had never had so much fun.

Lydia was in the process of crowing loudly about how she had danced more dances than even Lady Annabelle, when Mr Bennet tersely told her to shut up and go to bed. Mr Collins had been an occupant of Mr Bennet's carriage on the way home and his monologue about how refined and elegant the ball had been had cut Mr Bennet to the core.

Lydia simply pouted at her father and danced up the stairs, followed by a more melancholy Kitty. Kitty shut the door to their bedrooms and started to get changed, hoping that Lydia would just go to sleep, but her wish was not granted. Lydia could not stop talking about all the officers and all the dances, and then she suddenly stopped.

"Did you enjoy the ball Kitty?"

"Yes, I did." Replied Kitty warily.

"With Mr Collins???!!!?" giggled Lydia, "You know you do make the perfect couple! I managed to avoid dancing with him, but Lady Annabelle stood up first with him, wasn't that the funniest thing - but I don't remember who you were dancing with."

"Perhaps you don't know him, Captain Lord Douglas Cheveley?"

"Oh! The man mamma says I shall marry? I didn't get to dance with him! Thanks for keeping him occupied for me, Kitty. You would have been better off with your Mr Collins!" laughed Lydia. Kitty balled her hands up into a fist and pulled the covers over her head. She was not going to reply, she was not going to get mad - she just thought she was going to cry....

Lizzy absentmindedly brushed her hair, she was brushing too hard, causing large chunks of her hair to be pulled out, but she didn't seem to mind. She didn't even notice the fact that Jane took the brush out of her hand and started to brush.

"Lizzy are you all right?"

"Perfectly..............no I'm not. I'm dreadful."

"Your dreadful?" said Jane suddenly very concerned. She had seen that her sister was a little distracted more than usual, but she hadn't realised Lizzy was actually upset. Jane started berating herself, how could she be blinded by Charles, to the detriment of her darling sister?"

"I think I'm in love."

Jane blinked. In love?

"And this is dreadful?" Jane didn't' understand how being in love could be dreadful...to her it was a wonderful experience.... cloud nine.

"Well.... the man I think I'm in love with...is rather proud and reserved but well I think underneath he is.... but then there is this other man, who is open and charming and I think he is in love with me. And the first man I think is in love with me.... well he kissed me -"

"Mr Darcy kissed you?" shrieked Jane.

Lizzy sat bolt upright. "Did I mention Mr Darcy? I didn't mention names Jane. I'm NOT in love with Mr Darcy."

"Of course not" soothed Jane. In her mind there was no doubt, Lizzy did mean Mr Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam. But as Lizzy did not seem to want to name names, Jane just smoothly changed topics to the ball, and her upcoming trip to Rosings.

Lizzy sighed. She was indulging in improper thoughts, and she knew it. One did not think all through a ball, how lovely it would be to be in a certain gentleman's arms. Lizzy wanted to stamp her foot with impatience. She had no idea what was going on, she was indulging in all sorts of foolish thoughts and fancies, yet she did not know his opinion, or indeed Colonel Fitzwilliam's - who Lizzy would be loath to hurt.

Another sister in the house was also thinking of Mr Darcy, but unlike her elder sister, Mary had no compunction in naming him. Mary had decided, in her frank way, that Mr Darcy was quite what she wanted ....in a brother. He needed some work, however not enough to warrant her marrying him. Mary had always thought that when she married she should marry someone to whom she could be of infinite use in putting him on the straight and narrow. She had danced with Mr Darcy at the ball, and it had been he who suggested she read instead of sing; advice which had meant Mary got a loud applause instead of her normal paltry obligatory clap. Yes, Mary decided that Mr Darcy would be perfect for one of her sisters, now the only problem was which one?

Mrs Bennet was ecstatically curling her hair in her room. All of her daughters on the verge of marrying!! Kitty and Mr Collins; Jane and Mr Bingley; Mary and Mr Darcy; Lydia and Lord Douglas; Lizzy and Colonel Fitzwilliam. It was all working out exactly as she had planned. The thoughts that Lizzy appeared less interested in the Colonel of late, that Kitty seemed to be red-eyed and teary all the time and that her youngest had not even met her intended, did intrude on her dreams, but she discarded them. They were easily solvable. Lizzy would see Colonel Fitzwilliam at Rosings, Kitty would learn to deal with Mr Collins and well Lydia would be thrown at Lord Douglas.

Mrs Bennet did own that Kitty was giving her some anxiety. Mrs Bennet did sincerely love her children and it pained her to marry one of her daughters to a man she appeared to despise. But whom else could Kitty marry? And one of them should marry Mr Collins for the sake of the estate. Mr Bennet had said to her that marriage might cure Kitty of what he perceived as her silliness. Mrs Bennet did not think Kitty silly, but apparently Mr Bennet did and therefore was not thoroughly adverse to the match. But if Kitty was going to cry all the time... Mrs Bennet felt a little less ecstatic, as she curled the last part of her hair.

Part Three

Love demands infinitely less than friendship. ~ George Jean Nathan

Darcy watched as Bingley, danced by himself in the ballroom. He was up too early the day after a ball! Darcy realised he had never seen someone so in love as Bingley was with Jane Bennet. The problem was that Darcy did not think that Jane Bennet was in love with Bingley, well not quite to the same extent. The question was; should he interfere? And after some consideration Darcy decided the answer was that Bingley was a grown man and should decide for himself. Who could say that Bingley would not be happy even if Jane did not return his affection to the same degree, Bingley would still have the woman he doted upon.

Darcy shook his head and left Bingley dancing around, with a beaming smile. It was quite obvious that Bingley had enjoyed his ball, now had he? Darcy honestly was not sure. He had enjoyed his dance with Elizabeth, and then he had tried desperately not to look as though he was obviously yearning for Elizabeth's company. He had ended up having long philosophical discussions with Mary who was quite a lot more intelligent and less boring that he first thought. She still seemed quite eager to pick fights with him, but well he respected her for it - he supposed, either that or he was frightened of her.

Elizabeth, however was a problem, Darcy realised he should talk to her, but he was not sure how. No that was stupid, of course he knew how to talk to her, he would just open his mouth and well his larynx would do the rest, what he was unsure of was what he was going to say, when he was going to say it and where he was going to say it. Darcy had decided that he wasn't going to allow Colonel Fitzwilliam to stand in his way. He had spent some time trying to ascertain whether Ricky's heart was engaged and he didn't think it was, and even if it was, wasn't it fair to allow Elizabeth to choose? Darcy kept repeating this to himself over and over again as he climbed the stairs.

Darcy saw Ricky's chamber door was slightly ajar, so he went to ask if there was to be any sport, but Ricky was not there. Darcy moved to leave when a letter on the desk, by the door, suddenly caught his eye. A phrase leapt out at him.

Elizabeth Bennet, the most charming, beautiful darling angelic lady I have ever met in my entire life, she is perfection.

Darcy felt slightly ill. Ricky did love her. It was fine to muscle in on his cousin, when he was unsure of his feelings, but now.... he owed more to his cousin. A Darcy of Pemberley was likely to find many women who could fill the station of Mrs Darcy. Ricky might not. Elizabeth might be Ricky's soul mate. Ricky and him had been friends since birth, their cousinship and friendship meant Darcy could not in all honesty override Ricky. Darcy slowly walked down the stairs towards the fresh air.

Colonel Fitzwilliam thought he heard the door to his chamber close; he walked off his balcony and saw no one. He shrugged and went to finish his letter.

Dearest Mother, I thought myself much enamoured of her, and I think I still am. I think I love her like I love Annabelle! Except Miss Elizabeth I think would be a more credible sister! I dearly hope to call her cousin at some point in my life. I know Darcy feels very strongly for her, and I dare to hope that she feels the same. I know you will approve of a love match for him.

With a flourish, Colonel Fitzwilliam finished his letter and sealed it.

Part Four

Methinks I see the wanton hours flee,/And as they pass, turn back and laugh at me ~ George Villiers, 2nd Duke of Buckingham.

Time flies...or it drags, and the time after the Netherfield ball, was definitely one of those periods that flew. To Jane, it seemed no time at all from the moment that she was in Charles's arms at the ball, to the minute she was stepping into her aunt and uncles' carriage to go to London. Jane smiled as she sat back in the carriage. London.... sounded wonderful, all wintry and beautiful, and she had no doubts that she would be walking in a winter wonderland with Charles. He had been nothing but attentive for the past weeks, they were not often alone however, not that Mrs Bennet hadn't been trying! Jane was glad of that - she had lost her heart to the darling man, but she didn't' want to lose her mind as well - at least not until she was 100% sure that Charles and her were soul mates. Currently she was only 99.9% sure.

Kitty slowly walked back towards the house, she was wishing with all her heart that it was her in the carriage heading towards London, and not her sister. It wasn't fair nothing was fair. Mr Collins was still slimy and the engagement , if it could be called that, had not been broken between them. Kitty still wasn't speaking to her father; she knew she was making him think she was silly and didn't deserve to be saved from Mr Collins, but she couldn't bear to speak to him. Mr Collins was back after a short, heavenly, departure to accompany Lizzy and Lady Annabelle to Rosings. Kitty shook her head as she watched Mr Collins simper all over Lady Annabelle.

Lady Annabelle had been one of the bright spots in her life recently; she had saved Kitty from being alone with slime man. They had a lot of things in common and enjoyed each other's company; it was like Lady Annabelle was another sister. The other bright spot had been Lord Douglas, the amount of times he had stopped Mr Collins from being lecherous, were too many to count. Indeed they were among the high points in her life recently, walking out with two very interesting and highly agreeable people, stomping through mud and listening to stories! Anyone who looked closely at Kitty would have noticed a vast improvement in her manner. She had gained two very close friends and wouldn't have parted with them for the world. The best thing out of it was that Lord Douglas appeared to think nothing of Lydia, and it was very beneficial to Kitty to see her little sister set down, by a man she had assured everyone would only have to look at her to be in love.

Annabelle, rolled her eyes at Mr Collins and shut the door of her bedchamber firmly. Horrible slimy thing!! Annabelle was staying a few nights at Longbourn before her departure to Rosings, the men having already left Netherfield for town. Annabelle sighed...not that she particularly wanted to go to Rosings...her last chat with her Aunt had not been very pleasant, in fact Annabelle was dreading meeting her again. Annabelle had received a tongue lashing from both her aunt and grandmother over her... behaviour. Her Behaviour...and Annabelle just knew that Lady Catherine would not have forgotten about it, indeed how could she when Annabelle herself was still tortured by it.

Charles had practically skipped off to London hoping that a day would be enough for him to arrange a large amount of parties to which he could invite Jane. Darcy was happy to leave, he had tried to stay away from Elizabeth, but it had not worked, he still found himself dragged towards her, enjoying her conversation and company. Luckily they had never found themselves in a tête-à-tête otherwise he may not been accountable for his actions.

Colonel Fitzwilliam was indifferent to leaving, he enjoyed the company of Meryton. But London held many attractions. He was however worried that nothing appeared to have happened between either Jane and Bingley or Elizabeth and Darcy. What were they waiting for? He didn't know and to look at Darcy's face as they entered London he thought it might be better not to ask!

Although he was feeling the same way himself, listening to Charles extol on the virtues of Jane Bennet all the way to town, while his sister Caroline brought up all her faults including the fact she was Miss Jane Provincial Bennet. It was enough to make any man put his foot through the carriage floor.

Darcy put his head against the door of the carriage as it swung into the fashionable part of town. I will see her again at Rosings...I will....i will. Stop it!

Chapter 14, Part 1

Posted on Tuesday, 23 January 2001, at 12 : 00 a.m.

I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar, and often convincing. ~ Oscar Wilde.

Lizzy smoothed her curls, and critically surveyed herself. She looked presentable, at least she thought so; she was wearing a plain muslin dress. Lady Catherine could not say she was putting herself forward in a most unbecoming fashion. Lizzy had already endured several hours of her ladyship's most enlightening conversation, from this she had gained the knowledge that 'hoydenish' women were the bane of Lady Catherine's life.

In fact the several hours of Lady Catherine's conversation had been directed mostly to Lizzy, as Anne De Bourgh seemed a very quiet young lady and Lady Annabelle was unusually subdued. Lizzy had been astonished at the ease in which Lady Catherine banished Mr Collins; this had raised Lady Catherine in her estimation. It was obvious from her conversation that she was a proud woman, who was quite the matriarch figure in her family and was an infernal busybody. But she was not ill informed; all of her long and voluble information that she imparted was up to date and accurate. Lizzy could tell she was one of those women who liked to be 'á la mode '

Lizzy hoped she wasn't late for dinner, she thought she had made a good impression on Lady Catherine and surprisingly Lady Catherine seemed to have made a good impression on Lizzy. It was interesting what a few hours tête-à-tête did for a first meeting. Lizzy arrived in the drawing room, just as dinner was announced, and as it was just a 'little informal dinner' there was no set procession to dinner. This allowed Lizzy to whisper to Annabelle.

"Belle, what is wrong?"

"Nothing, there is nothing wrong." Annabelle quickly responded. But it became obvious at dinner that there was something wrong. Annabelle said nothing, and Lady Catherine said nothing to her. No wonder she wanted some company! thought Lizzy. Lizzy didn't however find the burden of conversation too cumbersome, as they were the only ones talking; Lady Catherine and herself seemed quite free with their opinions and dinner passed fairly easily.

When they retired to the drawing room, and Mrs Jenkinson and Miss De Bourgh retired to a corner to sew, Lizzy found the no speaking between Annabelle and Lady Catherine unbearable. She kept throwing glances of concern at her friend who just picked at the fringing of the sofa.

"Miss Bennet, come sit next to me." Commanded Lady Catherine. Lizzy felt dreadful for abandoning Annabelle, withdrawing to the other sofa she felt like she was ranging against her friend.

"You seem a very pretty young lady, I am glad that Mr Collins is to marry your sister, because I am very much against entailments."

Lizzy was about to say that she hoped her sister did not marry Mr Collins when the conversation suddenly took a left turn down a side alley.

"Miss Bennet, may I ask you a question? If a handsome, elegant, refined, intelligent, gentlemen was to dote upon you - "

Lady Catherine paused as she saw a blush rise on Lizzy's face. "You have a gentlemen friend do you? ...Well more about that later! Now this gentleman squired you to everything, if you suddenly wanted to go to a remote park, he would immediately organise an unexceptional party, that any parent would allow you to accompany. In short he was eligible and reliable."

Lady Catherine took a deep breath Lizzy was starting to realise that this gentlemen and situation was not just hypothetical, the suspicion was confirmed when she saw the very pained looked on Annabelle's face.

"Would you, ignore him and treat him with contempt, then humiliate him at a public event; flirting with a court-card, causing him to interpose on your behalf to save your reputation and cause practically a scandal!" Lady Catherine glared at her niece at this point then looked to Lizzy for her answer.

"Well...I don't think I would. But then again I do not know the circumstances." She replied diplomatically.

"I didn't think you would. My first impressions are never wrong, I think you are a very worthy young lady Miss Bennet, my niece would do good to follow your example."

"Aunt that isn't fair!! You don't know the whole story either! You never made such a fuss over Sir Douglas or Mr Hargrave!" exclaimed Annabelle impulsively, wishing a second later she had kept her mouth shut.

"Mr Hargrave is a cad! And Sir Douglas is a merchant banker! Lord Miles Upton is an Earl, a peer of the realm, good breeding, good manners, good ton .... good everything. He matches you in every respect; well he did until your disgraceful display this last season. You would have made an exceptional match, and it is my dearest wish to join the houses of Fitzwilliam and Carlon together. The daughter of the Earl of Matlock joined with the Earl of Upton, your progeny would have been of the finest stock imaginable."

"What am I some sort of breeding mare?" exclaimed Annabelle. Lady Catherine's eyes narrowed and she stood up and wished them a good night.

Lizzy looked in askance at Annabelle. Annabelle bit her lip and sighed.

"I should explain. You see well... last season was my second season and well i let it go to my head. My first season was spent being nervous about doing something wrong, and then well I discovered that a Lady Annabelle Fitzwilliam could do no wrong. So well I flirted quite a lot, and well I must say I revelled in the fact I had men throwing themselves at me. I was quite shocking to Lord Upton. But I never saw him as a serious consideration, he was like a puppy around me, and quite, quite old! the incident that my aunt is referring to happened at a ball. I was talking.... well flirting with this man, I can't even remember his name, but my mother told me afterwards that he is a sad rake, and no respectable girl should talk to him. Anyway I digress. Lord Upton was as per normal hanging around and this man said to me "Is Lord Upton your sheep dog?" So I replied "Oh Lord Upton...you know he would go Miles for me, he is the perfect escort when one cannot find someone one really wants to go with." "

Lizzy's eyebrows rose at this, she had not credited Annabelle with the ability to be so cruel - to be so catty?

"Don't look at me like that Lizzy, I know it was cruel, I knew he could overhear. I was just sick of his attentions and well this man was flirting so well with me and oh... It got much worse though. The rake ended up trying to get me to go out on the balcony with him, and I was going to go with him, to get away from Lord Upton - who ended up stopping me from going out of the ballroom alone with the rake. But there was a horrible scene."

"A horrible scene?"

"Yes Lord Upton was going to challenge the rake to a duel, which he had no right to do and I told him so, which made things worse, it escalated out of control until Darce and Ash came and quietened everything down."

Lizzy looked at her friend. To hurt what sounded like a quite innocent and respectable man, who was only looking out for her safety and at a public event! Lizzy liked to tease people, but she hoped she never humiliated people.

Annabelle saw the reproach in Lizzy's eyes and fled out of the room.

Part Two.

The older I grow, the more I listen to people who don't say much. ~ Germain G. Glidden.

Lizzy sighed, it seemed she spent most of her time at Rosings, in front of a mirror neatening her curls and she had been there a fortnight already! Lizzy was feeling rather proud of herself, she had in the space of a fortnight managed to get Annabelle and Lady Catherine back on speaking terms, partly by leaving them alone to talk while she walked with Miss De Bourgh and partly by drawing Lady Catherine's attention to the fact that Annabelle had cried herself to sleep several times. Lizzy was actually quite worried about Annabelle; she seemed to be excessively upset over her aunt's treatment of her.

Lizzy needn't have been too worried. Annabelle was currently in her room, deciding she wasn't going to worry anymore. She was going to put flirting, Lord Upton and everything that went with those two subjects out of her mind. Her brothers and cousin were arriving today and this meant some severe matchmaking. Annabelle had already decided that Ricky and Anne were perfect for each other and well there was still Lizzy and Darcy to work upon.

So Annabelle put a dress that never failed to cheer her up and managed to trip lightly down the stairs looking unconcerned and cheerful. Lizzy was glad her friend seemed to be pulling herself together, she didn't know what she would have done if she was forced to be the only young lady in the party who actually talked.

"Ah Miss Bennet, I am told you know my nephews." Said Lady Catherine as Lizzy and Annabelle entered the drawing room.

"Yes m'am." Lizzy curtsied to the three gentlemen. Annabelle simply threw her arms around her eldest brother.

"Annabelle, please, remember where you are." Said Lady Catherine. Annabelle gave Ash a speaking look as she slunk back towards the couch, trying her hardest to stay cheerful.

Lizzy found herself seated next to Lord Ashbourne, who seemed to be on the verge of saying something, but not sure whether he should.

"Your sister, Miss Bennet, is much recovered I hope?" He finally said.

"Kitty? Oh yes perfectly! Thank you for inquiring."

"My pleasure."

Lady Catherine looked up sharply at this interchange. Was her nephew the gentlemen friend that Lizzy had blushed at? If it was Ash it would not do at all, not at all! But it became fairly obvious that it was not Ash, for one he was totally impervious to Miss Bennet's charms as per normal. Lady Catherine was on the point of despairing over her eldest nephew, he was charming, everything good and just, and he did often flirt, but with horribly ineligible girls! He showed no interest in getting married. Born to wealth, position and title, Ash had never had to care for anyone but himself. Of course there were his troops, but they hardly counted, and Lady Catherine had to admit that he did take that responsibility very well, but she despaired of him ever learning how to let someone depend upon him. Or how to take advice! Her advice was always very useful and important yet her eldest nephew too no notice of her! Self-centeredness.... might be the word for him...possibly.

Lady Catherine's eyes narrowed as she watched him now, silently sitting on a sofa, joining in the conversation every so often. When he did, what he said was highly amusing and interesting, he was just said with that tint of boredom, an air of laissez-faire; a jaded, cynical view of the world. He needed some saving, or he would become one of those horribly critical gentlemen of the ton, who were confirmed bachelors and looked down upon everyone. Lady Catherine shook her head and wondered whether it would be better to marry Anne to Ash....

"Aunt? Aunt are you attending?" said Colonel Fitzwilliam

"Of course I am."

"Well do you agree? Should Miss Bennet be made to play for us?"

Lady Catherine looked at Miss Bennet. "Yes Miss Bennet please play something for us. "

Lizzy stood up and moved towards the piano, but before Colonel Fitzwilliam could follow her to turn the pages, Darcy moved to help her. Lady Catherine's brow creased when Fitzwilliam simply sat back down and started a conversation with his sister, leaving Darcy and Miss Bennet alone near the piano. Darcy and Miss Bennet .... ...hmmmmm. Lady Catherine looked at her daughter, how was this affecting her? Apparently not at all, Anne had moved to sit next to Annabelle and was looking engrossed in Colonel Fitzwilliam's conversation. Anne and Colonel Fitzwilliam..........hmmmmm

Lady Catherine's brain started ticking over.

Ash sighed, Miss Elizabeth did play well, but he found himself studying her profile and mannerisms, trying to find similarity with a fleeting memory, which refused to disappear from his mind. He did find a few - not that this comforted him a great deal. He sighed and rose.

"If you ladies would excuse me," Ash bowed and exited the room. Lady Catherine shot darts into his back. How dare he not stand upon ceremony - she transferred her glare to his brother.

"So Colonel, when are you going to get married."

Colonel Fitzwilliam almost swallowed his tongue and unconsciously shot a look at Anne.

Part Three.

Cuz life is a lesson; you'll learn it when you're through ~ Limp Bizkit "Take a look around"

Lizzy started to play Mozart's Sonata in C. A few bars in, she had to stop.

"Miss Bennet why did you stop? Your playing was delightful."

"Delightful it may have been Mr Darcy, but I cannot play while you are staring at me."

"But I'm turning the pages!" exclaimed Darcy.

"You are not, sir, you are staring at me." Exclaimed Lizzy in a low whisper.

Darcy also lowered his voice. " You try sitting next to a beautiful woman and not staring at her."

Lizzy felt her face start to burn, as she tried desperately to play something.... anything on the piano...she started to play the Regency equivalent of 'Heart and Soul'.

"Mr Darcy...." Said Lizzy feeling her voice start to tremble. She couldn't get any further as his hand put itself over hers. She looked at him - she did feel drawn towards him but was he the one for her?

Their eyes met and Lizzy didn't need any words, what she saw in his eyes told her the entire truth. She gulped...was this it?

"Miss Bennet, are you unwell? Is my selection of music unfamiliar to you?" came the query of Lady Catherine from the other room.

"No, No Lady Catherine it is very satisfactory." Replied Lizzy, putting her head down and playing, trying without success to forget about the man sitting next to her.

Darcy reclined back in his chair, watching the fair performer, unfortunately from this view he could also see his cousin, watching Elizabeth with interest. This put a dampener on his thoughts.

Lizzy started to think about marriage with Mr Darcy. Surely it would be disapproved of? Should she care about that? If she loved him she couldn't him cast himself off from his family? And that was the question did she love him? What did love feel like?

Darcy shook his head. This is what happened when he was alone with her, he forgot about his cousin. What should he do? Why didn't life come with an instruction manual? Should he try to be alone with her and thereby cut his cousin out? Should he avoid her?

Lizzy tried to concentrate on the music, but it kept blurring in front of her. Perhaps if she avoided him, she could work out exactly how she felt about him? Oh why didn't life come with an instruction manual?

Ash took the stairs two at a time. He wasn't thinking about much, which probably is the reason behind the fact he walked into the completely wrong room. It wasn't even a bedroom - It was a sitting room.

He blinked. Okay exactly where had he gone wrong? He turned to leave, and almost bumped into a desk. It completely unlike him to be so disorientated, but the last couple of weeks had seen Ash's friends wonder what had gotten into him. In fact Ash was wondering what had gotten into him - however he was more likely to be able to supply the answer to that than his friends could. But Ash wasn't admitting anything...not even to himself. He was going to put the reason out of his head completely!

The letters on the top of the table slid to the floor as he bumped into it. Ash groaned and started to pick them all up. One in particular caught his eye; the writing was impulsive, impatient and impetuous.

He scanned the letter as he put the rest of paper back on the desk. He found himself laughing with the writer. The author of the letter told little pieces of trivial information in drips and drabs, but ordered them all completely incoherently so you found yourself jumping from a new hat, to the latest order of fish within the same sentence.

Ash found himself wishing to meet the author of this letter but suddenly he froze. The letter dissolved into an incoherency of another form.

"Is Mr Collins staying long at Rosings? Please tell me he isn't coming back to Longbourn in the near foreseeable future. Lizzy you can't possibly understand, but I can't marry him. I can't...I can't. Please come back and tell Papa that it is impossible. Mama is ordering a trousseau...but we aren't even formally engaged... are we???. I've tried to stay calm but I can't...it's impossible. Lydia won't leave me alone...all she talks about is my marriage and the possibility of going to Brighton."

Ash looked at the bottom of the letter.

"Your loving sister Kitty."

He hurriedly put the letter back on the desk tried to make it look as though nobody had disturbed them. He managed to get out of the room all right and find his own room. His valet was waiting for him, and in front of this highly proper gentleman, with no regard for his clothes; Ash threw himself down upon his bed.

The valet looked on impassively, privately condemning whatever or whoever had brought on this start of his lordship. He hoped his lordship would pull himself together and stop ruining his clothes!! Instead of voicing these opinions out loud he circumspectly withdrew without a word.

Ash rolled over and stared at the canopy above his bed. That letter was exactly what he would have expected of her, impulsive, passionate and in some ways childish. It matched Ash's rather more subdued image of Miss Kitty Bennet. However Ash didn't often think of her in that light, more often he thought of her in absolutes. In his head he had two images of her and they were poles apart . One a beautiful adorable, angel and one on the other hand a frightful vulgar flirt. But the problem was which one was she??? And why was he even thinking of her, he had seen her for what all of 5 minutes? Well possibly it could have been more.... but no more than ten...surely.

Part Four.

Men....employ speech only to conceal their thoughts - Voltaire.

Lizzy sighed. She stopped staring out the window and turned back towards her bed, pulling the shawl tight around her shoulders. She padded into her sitting room that Lady Catherine had provided, clutching a candle.

Her brow creased, her desk hadn't been this messy had it? She folded her legs up under her and put the candle down and started to look through her mail. A letter from Kitty, always amusing, but the latter half started to become melancholy, causing Lizzy to frown.

Poor Kitty. Lizzy made it her first priority to make her father see sense about that matter when she got home. Lizzy knew there wasn't any formal engagement, but any sort of understanding, was enough to give both Mr Collins and Mrs Bennet the lead they needed to start proceedings. If the planning continued any further, her father would not be able to stop it.

Perhaps if I talk to Lady Catherine as well? Thought Lizzy as she put Kitty's letter down. Here was one from Lydia, full of talk of officers and Brighton. Apparently the militia was removing there soon and Lydia wanted to go. Brighton, thought Lizzy, perhaps a holiday would remove all the tension that seemed to be flowing through everyone at the moment.

Mama had even written a letter!

"If any eligible men are there, I expect you to play prettily for them and not speak nonsense, men do not like women who are smarter than them, look at Mary!"

"See what Lady Catherine likes, so that Kitty will not make any silly mistakes when she is Mrs Collins."

"Mr Bennet is being brought round to the Brighton idea, I hope you will not throw a spoke into the wheel of my plans! You know your father listens to you before he listens to me - his wife!!"

Lizzy smiled folding it up, mama did always write such amusing letters, in between the fluff there was often pieces of important information. There was no letter from Jane however. Lizzy wasn't sure if this was a case of no news is good news. Perhaps Jane was having such a good time that there was no time for writing. But perhaps something had gone wrong and Jane was hurt cruelly?

Lizzy shook her head; she would have to wait for news. Or perhaps she could ask one of the gentlemen if they had seen much of Jane.

Lizzy yawned and was about to snuff the candle when she heard a timid knock on her bedroom door. She uncurled herself and tripped through to her bedroom and opened the door. It was Annabelle.

"Can I come in?"

Lizzy stood aside and let her in. Annabelle took refuge on a sofa by the fire.

"I was thinking that well we have been here a week and we haven't really talked."

Lizzy sat on her bed and looked at Annabelle, who looked much smaller than normal. Annabelle was a beauty, and even after a trying week Annabelle still looked more beautiful than Lizzy knew she could ever look. She had sleek dark hair that was straight and currently hanging around her face, framing it and her violet eyes.

"Talked? We have talked quite often." Said Lizzy teasingly.

Annabelle bit her lip. "But not about...about.... well what my aunt said about me that first night? I need - I need ....to know that you don't - you know - think too badly of me. I'd hate to think you thought me...lacking...in..." Annabelle trailed off.

"I don't know the man in question, and I wasn't there, so how can I judge you? It would be unfair, and from what I have seen of you, I find it very hard to think you would purposely hurt another person."

Annabelle looked up. "But I did. I wanted to hurt him so badly."

Lizzy's eyebrows arched. "You wanted to hurt him? But why?"

"If you met him you would understand. He was so...so... proper! Yet he followed me around like a little dog. He was like the cat that always came back, no matter how much you repulsed him he would always come back! Supposedly he was so taken by me, and well he must have been in the way he was acting. But did he do a thing? Was he just a gentleman?? Yes! Did he flirt with me? No. He didn't do anything a man in love is supposed to do. Except leave my side. So I just kept trying to see how far I could go with him, before I don't know he snapped or something!"

"But why play with his emotions?"

"He is an Earl Lizzy." Said Annabelle as though that explained everything.

"Huh?" said Lizzy with a giggle. "Do members of the aristocracy have no emotions?"

Annabelle covered her eyes and tried not to laugh. "No!!!! I mean you have met Caroline Bingley and Louisa Hurst. Picture about a hundred single versions of them -' Annabelle broke off as Lizzy burst into explosive laughter.

"No, No, No, Belle. Don't make me do that!"

"Fine.... but do you get the point? A peerage, handsome and rich!!! And he liked little old me! Oh it was too easy! To see the looks upon all those silly, plain, dowdy girls faces and those matchmaking mama's when I rebuffed him and yet he still didn't pick any of them!" Annabelle laughed.

Lizzy watched her friend's happy face, and decided she was even more beautiful when she laughed, her whole face lit up. But as suddenly as it lit up it crumpled, and Annabelle lay face down on the sofa.

Lizzy flew to her side, but couldn't do much to stem Annabelle's tears. She kept on sobbing and sobbing into the cushions on the sofa.

"Belle...Belle." Lizzy just rubbed Annabelle's back. Slowly the sobs subsided.

"I'm sorry, I promised I wouldn't think about it anymore. But they all hate me now." Came her muffled voice.

"Who all hate you?"

"My aunt...everybody." came Annabelle vague answer. Lizzy had the shrewd notion that Annabelle meant that She hated herself.

Annabelle sat up. "Next time I see him I will be really kind, and I will apologise?"

"Sounds like the best idea to me." Said Lizzy, wondering what exactly Annabelle felt about this Lord Upton fellow. "You won't mind it might make him continue his attentions?" For it sounded as though he wasn't easily swayed from his devotion.

"Oh no." said Annabelle blithely. She would apologise, and then everything would be all right. Ash would no longer be embarrassed around his friend, because of her. Her aunt would no longer scold her, her mother would no longer just give her those looks and her father, who bless him had never even mentioned the whole affair would stop sighing deeply every time he saw her wondering what kind of girl he raised.

"Belle??" said Lizzy wondering what she was thinking.

"Oh Lizzy thank you, for not hating me and for listening to me. I feel so much better."

Lizzy got an impulsive hug before Annabelle ran out of the room. She found herself thinking that, Annabelle, albeit her age was still a little way behind in the life stakes.

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