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Chapter 45 Posted on Friday, 21 February 2003
A hectic week of preparations and Mrs. Bennett in a constant state of having fits of nerves both couples seemed somewhat shell shocked as the wedding day approached. Charles and Jane somehow always wanted to walk toward the far end of the garden to 'relieve some of the tension', while Darcy began to notice that Elizabeth although happy seemed less lively as the weekend neared. Dark circles under her eyes and a wan ness in her face made him worry that she like him was having a difficult time sleeping. Her spirits seemed to rise though whenever he rode over to Longbourn on Sampson, and he allowed her to hold the reins of the great horse down the lane for a morning walk, holding her hand, and occasionally stealing a kiss. Sampson, of course, was a perfect chaperone for them. Whenever Darcy stopped to take Elizabeth in his arms and kiss her with more feeling, it was Sampson who interspersed his head in between them, which brought fits of giggles from Elizabeth, and chastisement from Darcy. Clearly, the horse was very perceptive.
Finally the day of the wedding had arrived. Mrs. Bennett was beside herself with worry mixed with joy. She scampered about from one room to the other making sure that all was going as planned, and that all her girls were up and about for the coming day. It was disconcerting to the entire household as well as the brides who tried to stay calm with all the carrying on their mother did. Finally, she went down stairs to see to it that the arrangements of the wedding banquet were going as planned.
Elizabeth was still sitting on her bed in her dressing gown over her nightdress, her hair still in a long braid down her back, when Jane came into Elizabeth's room in tears, and sat down next to Elizabeth who hugged her tightly.
"Jane?" asked Elizabeth not knowing why her sister was so upset. "What is the matter?"
Between sniffs and pants Jane managed to get out, "I see mother has not yet had a talk with you about the wedding night."
"No," began Elizabeth becoming concerned about the content of such a talk if it had the effect of making Jane so agitated. "W-What did she say to you to have you so upset?"
"She explained about...when...the husband does his...duty," she finally spit out.
Then Jane spoke her words all in a jumble in one breath.
"She said it was most disagreeable, and that I must endure it for the sake of my marriage because it is a wife's obligation to her husband. Oh, Lizzy, I am so frightened."
She hugged Elizabeth so tightly then that Elizabeth could barely breathe, but she hugged her sister back and tried to calm her down. Her own fears however began to surface as well. Could this be true?
"I am sure she is mistaken, dear Jane," she finally said to her sister. "Charles cannot be as insensitive as mother seems to believe."
"Yes?" asked Jane hopefully. She was so nervous after her mother's talk that she even considered calling off the wedding out of fear.
"Do you think mother is simply trying to warn me of what might occur to put me on my guard?"
"Well, yes, perhaps that is what she was trying to do," admitted Elizabeth wanting to believe it herself. "Just know that Charles is the person you love and will never do anything that you cannot abide." You know this, dearest Jane."
"But what if it is so?"
"You must then tell him of your concerns." Elizabeth tried to keep her voice steady, tried to make herself believe what she was saying.
"Yes, I suppose," Jane said softly, still unconvinced.
"He is so kind to you, dear Jane. I am sure he will understand."
"Yes," Jane whispered becoming calmer. "He is so kind to me in every other way."
"Just tell him and he will be wonderful to you, I am sure." Elizabeth dried her sister's tears and kissed her cheek, and hugged her again.
"Thank you, dear Lizzy," Jane finally said but stayed in their embrace for several minutes in order to calm her nerves. And when Elizabeth thought Jane was calm and tried to pull away, Jane hugged her tighter. Elizabeth tightened her embrace of her still distraught sister.
"I am here, dear Jane," she whispered. "I will not leave you." They stayed in their embrace for a greater amount of time until Jane's trembling began to subside.
By and by Jane pulled away from Elizabeth's embrace, and dried her eyes, and blew her nose. She stayed seated beside her sister in silence and finally sighed and they looked at each other.
"Better?" asked Elizabeth wiping Jane's last tear from her cheek. Jane nodded.
"I am glad we had this talk, Lizzy," Jane said, but her voice and her eyes told Elizabeth that Jane's fears were still unresolved, but her nerves were abating a bit.
"As am I, dear Jane," Elizabeth responded as she hugged her sister again. Jane still seemed unsettled, and looked at Elizabeth and sighed.
"I wish to stay here for a while to avoid talking to any people," she said softly. Elizabeth knew exactly what people she was referring to.
Elizabeth hugged her again and whispered back, "You may stay in here with me as long as you wish, Jane. Perhaps it will keep mother at bay for my talk."
"Oh, Lizzy, do not tease me," Jane implored, trying to smile, but failing miserably.
"For once, dear Jane, I am not teasing you," admitted Elizabeth trying to keep the smile on her face, but beginning to worry herself over their conversation.
"While we wait, can I discuss the way I would like Carla to do my hair, and get your opinion on whether she is capable."
Thus distracted from the recent talk, the two brides avoided any more mention of it in order to keep their demeanor calm. A good hour later, both seemed to be in better spirits.
Finally rising to go back to her room to finish dressing Jane said smiling, "Thank you, dear Lizzy. I am so glad I have you as a sister. I will see you in a little while."
After Jane left Elizabeth sat on the bed biting her lip, unsure she believed her own words to Jane. Could she be in for a terrible night that must be endured for the sake of a marriage? Surely not, although ... Oh, God, she thought, playing with the ends of her hair nervously. Now I need to talk to someone about this.
She hurriedly dressed in a morning frock, put her hair up in simply for now, and left her room, steadfastly intent on avoiding her mother at all costs. Coming down stairs she heard voices from one of the front rooms. She sought out her aunt Gardiner who was with Mr. Gardiner in the he parlor conversing with the two bridegrooms who had arrived for a short visit before returning to Netherfield to dress for the wedding. One look at her face and Darcy knew something was amiss, and immediately intercepted her. He took her hand, and caressing her cheek, he kissed her at the temple breathing in her lavender scent. She seemed to be quite agitated.
He tried to tease her way she always did him to get him out of his moods. With all the superfluous planning, he knew he could get her to smile with the one suggestion that he had jokingly requested more frequently of late to the amusement of his fiancé.
"Elizabeth, have you come to tell me you have finally changed your mind about eloping?"
The look that she gave him as all the color drained from her face at that particular suggestion let him know that it was entirely the wrong thing to say.
"Elizabeth," he whispered. "Whatever is the matter?"
"I ... need to talk-" she began to say, but he interrupted.
"You know you can talk to me about anything," he encouraged. He hugged her against his chest to try to calm her.
She wiggled so she could look into his face and said reluctantly, "It is...you...I wish to talk about."
"Oh," he said, not knowing how to react to her statement. He could see she was biting her lips wanting to say something more.
"I...wish to talk to my aunt at the moment," she finally whispered hoping he would not be offended.
She need not have worried about that when he cradled her face in his hands and smiled down at her. "Of course," he said as he kissed her lips lightly. "I will not keep you from her any longer, even though I wish to." Again he kissed her before escorting her to her aunt.
He wondered why Elizabeth was upset as she approached her aunt who rose to attend her elsewhere, his eyes following their departure. But he knew she would get good counsel from the woman he himself had grown to trust in judgment and sense. And so, tried not to worry too much, hoping that whatever was wrong would be righted in short measure.
When the wedding time neared and everyone arrived at the chapel in their wedding attire, some had less trepidation than others than at the beginning of the morning. Darcy and Bingley tried not to act nervous, but little jitters were apparent as the appointed time drew near, came, and went past with still no brides entering the chapel.
Bingley's family had deemed to attend with Caroline in tow. She went out of her way to say that she sincerely wished both of them the happiest of felicity.
Mr. Hurst took one look at the two young men about to embark on their own treacherous journey into the marriage state, and he snorted and Louisa heard him whisper, "Look at your brother, dear. He is absolutely green around the gills. I hope they have a chamber pot handy."
Louisa noticed her brother's appearance, which was anything but calm, and remarked, "Gilroy, were you this nervous when we wed?"
"Oh, no, my dear. Not even close," he teased.
"No?" she asked suddenly curious. She looked in his eyes.
"No, I was not. And that was due to the fact that I was still drunk at the time."
Louisa's mouth fell open, and her eyebrows shot up in surprise, but she seemed too surprised to actually respond. Gilroy took her hand and kissed it, and looked at her.
"It was the only way my brother thought I would have the nerve to go through with marrying such a beautiful woman."
She looked away, and smiled, and merely said, "Oh." But she let him keep hold of her hand.
Darcy who had avoided looking into the crowd of parishioners until now, did so, and his eyes fell upon that odious Mr. Collins with his sensible wife present for his cousins' nuptials. He rolled his eyes and had to wonder if his Aunt Catherine knew of their being in attendance.
A surprised Georgiana was sitting beside Colonial Fitzwilliam who had arrived just in time from an assignment in London, still dressed in his regimentals and looking quite dashing to all the young single ladies in attendance. Georgiana hugged her cousin warmly.
"I see I haven't miss anything," Richard quipped.
"No, there must be some delay," offered Georgian. "I am so glad you could be here. Just look at them, Richard," she said pointing sympathetically at the two bridegrooms.
"They do seem to have a real case of nerves," Richard agreed, adding with a smirk, "Do you think we will need a doctor?"
"That remains to be seen," giggled Georgiana as they with both waved and smiled at the two fidgeting bridegrooms who plainly were ignoring them.
"When will they ever commence?" Darcy sighed in frustration as he played with his signet ring, feeling the need to pace but unable to do so.
Even the lighthearted always-smiling friend Bingley sighed in frustration, and used his handkerchief to pat the sweat off his brow, and palms. His eyes darted back and forth from the pews of parishioners to the doors at the back of the church.
"Relax," Darcy whispered beginning his own mantra unaware he was speaking it aloud, while trying to take slow deep breaths, "Everything is going as planned. All is well. Calm yourself."
"I can not be as serene as you, Darcy," Bingley panted back to his friend. "I am to be married in a few minutes," said, and then added, "Egad! It is the middle of winter and I am sweating like a pig on the spit, while you are..."
That was when Bingley actually finally looked over to his apparently serene friend, and noticed Darcy's face devoid of all color, his lips pressed to tightly together they were non visible.
"About to faint," finished Bingley as he stared at his college friend, and who was trying to force air in his lungs.
"Darcy?" asked Bingley truly worried as he led him over to one of the acolyte's chairs. Both of them sat down breathing in long slow breaths, and after a few minutes, both seemed to begin to calm slightly.
"It is just the standing in front of the crowd, Bingley. You know how I dislike them," Darcy offered, but thinking to himself, 'especially standing in front of a crowd in a church.'
"I thought I would have been the one to keel over, Darcy, not you," Bingley sighed breathing a bit more evenly now, trying to smile at his friend.
"So was I," quipped Darcy, finally sighing, and turning his head to almost smile at his friend.
"This is not much of a crowd, Darcy," Bingley furthered. "And even if you think so, surely we are both brave enough to endure the ceremony. I do not recall any groom expiring on his wedding day. Do you?"
Darcy snorted softly, and shook his head saying, "No, I have no recollection of anything of the sort happening either." And both men laughed softly relieving the tension.
Adding further, "And, of course, they are quite worth all this trouble, are they not, Darcy?"
Finally beginning to breath normally again, Darcy sighed again, and answered back. "Yes, she is definitely worth anything I have to endure to have her with me." And he smiled.
"Thank you, Charles."
"It is quite all right, Darcy."
Bingley had always been the one in need of aid, and now he was happy to be able to give some back to his life long friend.
Still sitting and waiting, Bingley finally managed to look around the chapel at all the decorations, which was a profusion of colors as well as sprigs of greenery all around to make the chapel a magnificent garden in the middle of winter.
"The chapel does indeed look wonderful. Mrs. Bennett seems to have a talent for this, does she not, Darcy?"
"Yes," was his only reply, and he closed his eyes and took a deep breath and smiled.
"And what is that lovely smell?" asked Bingley.
"Lavender," sighed Darcy looking at his friend, quite relaxed at last. Silently they smiled and stared at each other now knowing at last they could brave the day.
Just then the music began to swell from the organ in the loft, and the two grooms stood up and took their places to await Jane and Elizabeth. When Mr. Bennett finally came down the aisle with a daughter on either side of him, Darcy finally began to truly relax as he focused on his bride.
His eyes never left Elizabeth who was a perfect vision although she did seemed a little pale. Her dress was soft white silk with gentle smocking at the bodice. Her bonnet was of a stiff configuration to give height for the veil of Irish lace that draped behind, and devoid of ribbons that would have hidden her lovely neck. The single strand of pearls that Darcy had given her earlier in the week completed the ensemble. Darcy swallowed at her beauty, waiting for her at the altar.
She was squeezing her father's arm so tightly that her father looked apprehensively to her, and whispered something in her ear. She smiled back at him, and loosened her grip of his arm so that at least he would not be bruised.
When he finally brought both of them to the altar, he first kissed his eldest daughter, and handed her over to her bridegroom. He looked at Elizabeth and kissed her cheek as well, and handed her over to Darcy who gently took the older man's arm and squeezed it to let him know how much this meant to him.
Mr. Bennett smiled and patted the young man's hand. Darcy took his hand from Mr. Bennett's arm and took Elizabeth's hands in both of his, and smiled at her. She smiled back shyly, and tried not to pant. They both turned with Jane and Charles toward the parson to have the wedding ceremony begin.
Darcy could feel her hand shaking within his, and without looking at her, gently squeezed her hand to let her know all was well. She returned the gesture and slowly her hand stopped shaking.
The ceremony was short to the delight of both couples. Before long they were running under the bridal arc and heading for the two carriages outside the church.
After everyone had reassembled at Longbourn, the wedding meal commenced. All the family and friends in attendance thought the entire wedding party was beautifully dressed. Elizabeth and Jane seemed more serene now, as they were kept quite distracted by all the talking and well wishing. A good time was had by all.
At last the time came for the two couples to depart. Charles and Jane were to go back to Netherfield for a few nights while Darcy and Elizabeth were going in Darcy's closed carriage to London to stay at his townhouse for a week before heading to Pemberley while Richard was to take Georgiana to his parents' house for a few days.
After having changed into traveling clothes the couple entered the carriage happily relieved that the wedding day was finally over. Darcy hugged Elizabeth tightly and pulled her head to his as he kissed her at first lightly, but then with more passion. He felt her pull back from him, and he looked down into her eyes. He saw that she was trying to smile, but her eyes held fear.
He tried to allay this with merely hugging her to him, and he whispered in her ear, "Are you going to tell me?"
"Tell you what?" she asked settling her head on his chest. The steady beating of his heart as well as the rhythmic jostle of the enclosed carriage ride became restful to her, and he felt her begin to relax against him.
He sighed, and wondered if he should even ask her now. He had thought her aunt had talked to her about whatever she was worried about and the matter was settled. But when he saw her in the chapel still agitated, he wanted to know if he could relieve some of her discomfort.
But it was she who looked up to him and questioned again, "Tell you what, William?"
He touched her cheek with a soft stroke meant to illicit his endearment of her and he said, "Why you were still upset in church and why you are still upset now after you had your talk with your aunt. Did she not give you an adequate counsel?"
Elizabeth looked away and frowned, and licked her suddenly dry lips. Tears formed in her eyes as she turned again to face him. He was overwhelmed by apprehension as she cried on his chest. He swallowed, and held her gently as she wept quietly in his arms. Just as with the other times when this occurred, he knew not what else to do.
Finally, she seemed to calm and he handed his handkerchief dry her eyes. He simply kissed her forehead as her father often did when she was a child. It was a comforting gesture that she accepted and sighed. The silence of the carriage ride was not unpleasant as he held his now quiet wife.
He knew when she was ready she would tell him what was troubling her. He simply wanted to try to alleviate it as soon as possible so he could have his wonderful sweet wife back smiling at him.
He relaxed with the rhythm of the carriage's sway and soon felt her soft breathing beside her. She had gone to sleep beside him, and he smiled, overjoyed that she felt so peaceful and secure in his company to sleep in his embrace.
He wondered if she, like himself, had been going without adequate sleep this last week, and having it final catch up with her in an emotional outburst. He gently untied the ribbons of her bonnet, and removed it to have her be more comfortable on the ride.
He smiled down at her soft features and remembered the last time he had seen her so serene. It was those few seconds she was in his arms at Netherfield when he lifted her out of the chair in Jane's sick room to lay her on the couch. He felt the same warmth of contentment wash over him again.
He whispered softly in her ear so as not to wake her. "I have loved for you so long, Elizabeth." "Ahh hum," he heard her reply in her sleep as she nestled closer to his face before settling down again. He smiled thinking clearly she is going to be a wonderful wife, as his lips kissed her hair. Pulling the blanket over their legs, he closed his eyes as his arms held her closer to him, and he, too fell into a restful sleep anticipating the night.
Warning! This chapter might be a bit racy for the site. I tried to keep it in a PG range, but let me know. Thanks.
Anxiety & Civility - Chapter 46 The Wedding Night
When at last they arrived in London, he gently shook her awake. At first she didn't know where she was, but then looked up into his smiling face, and smiled back.
"We are almost arrived, Elizabeth," he whispered. "Are you quite awake now?"
"Yes," she replied trying to smooth out her dress front. He handed her bonnet back, which she gently nestled over her hair, but he took the ribbons and tied the bow at her neck.
"You look lovely," he responded with a gentle smile. "Everyone will think you an angel."
"I doubt that. We both know it is Jane who fits that description," she teased him.
He thought, she might now be over whatever was troubling her, and hugged her gently. Then he looked out the window recognizing his street.
"There it is, Elizabeth."
"Oh, William. It is beautiful," she sighed gazing at the enormous townhouse on the elegant street.
The carriage came to a halt and a footman opened the door for them. Darcy alit the carriage first and then handed Elizabeth out. She swallowed gazing again at the big house. He could feel the tenseness in her hand, and squeezed it.
"It is just a house, Elizabeth. Your house." She nodded and they entered through the front door. All the servants were lined up in the entryway smiling at her when she entered.
She sighed as she rose to this intimidation, and smiled back as she was introduced to each one. She tried to put names to faces while carrying on a conversation with each, and must have done a remarkable job. His housekeeper smiled approvingly at him as he made the introduction to Elizabeth.
"Mr. Darcy, Mrs. Darcy, I thought you might like to dine as soon as you arrived, so the cook has the meal all ready."
Darcy saw Elizabeth's eyebrows arched and she stared at him as a few of the servants helped them remove their gloves, coats, and hats.
"Mrs. Livingston is really in charge here, you know," he whispered about his townhouse housekeeper. "She merely lets me think that I am the one."
Elizabeth smiled and shook her head at the thought that any housekeeper could be in charge of him as he escorted her into the dining room.
He smiled and nodded to his housekeeper as he escorted Elizabeth to the chair beside the head of the table. He pulled a seat out for Elizabeth beside his at his end of the table so they could converse quietly. He sat down and took her hand and rubbed some of the iciness from it.
Dinner was elegant and wonderful the few bits Elizabeth managed to consume. She had other things on her mind, but tried not to dwell on them right now.
Darcy tried to interest her in several different topics, and finally got her to open up when he suggested a discussion of one of Shakespeare's comedies. She actually laughed when he tried to reenact one of the scenes of a certain constable that was amusing to him as well.*
Finally the meal ended with coffee and he asked if she would like to take a tour of the house. She agreed, and he took her hand and began to show her the different rooms on the various floors. There was one of the parlors elegantly furnished and inviting, then the music room, which she said she might like to revisit later, the library that she didn't want to leave when she saw all the books it contained. There was also his office study, which was decorated, in dark paneling, and leather furniture. Also there was the kitchen with its own back staircase to the upper floors as well as the servants' rooms that they, of course, declined to enter.
As they ascended the stairway to the upper floors where the bedrooms were, he spoke of a small garden on the side of the house that in spring was lovely. She expressed a desire to see as well it before they left the townhouse for Pemberley.
"Of course, if you wish. You may have some suggestions for improvements," he replied smiling.
Darcy stopped at a door and opened it for her. "These are your rooms, Elizabeth," he said as they entered.
The walls were covered with an exquisite light blue floral design and windows had ivory curtains. The dark mahogany furniture set off the room perfectly.
"It is beautiful," she whispered not daring to touch anything.
Slowly she began to survey her surroundings as Darcy hung back to watch her reactions. The sitting room contained a small table with two chairs as well as a small settee. A desk in the same mahogany wood was placed beside a window, wonderful pastoral painting by Rubens* hung on one walls while a landscape by Claude Lorraine** was centered on the other, and fresh flowers on the table. The bedroom held an armoire, a four-poster bed in dark mahogany with nightstands and lamp on either side of it, and a wet sink balanced the rest of the furniture perfectly. The fireplace was already lit and warmed the room as well as giving a cheery glow. Everything was elegant and simple, and she realized the amount of time someone had taken with even the slightest details to make this room a most pleasant inviting sanctuary.
"If you want to change anything-"
"Oh, no, William. I would not change a thing." She fingered the figurines of a ballerina on one nightstand, and on the other was one of a horse, handmade doilies under both.
"Come. Let me show you the rest," he said as he pulled her through the room to a doorway. "This is your dressing closet," he said as she looked at the large room filled with space for enough dresses for all her sisters. There was even a small desk and chair.
"Oh, my," was her only response at the enormous space and her fingers touched the quill pens, and the cap of the ink well on the desk thinking of who had used it before her.
"And." He added as he opened yet another door adjoining her bedroom. "These are my rooms."
He held her hand pulling her into his bedroom. He looked back at her when he felt her slow her pace. She was crimson when she reluctantly entered the threshold with eyes staring only at the far wall.
"What is it?" He asked her.
"I ... have never been in a man's bedroom before," she whispered trying not to look at him. If she had, she would have noticed Darcy's surprised expression.
"Not even your father's?" He asked, beginning to suspect.
"No, never," she acknowledged sighing softly
"Do you mean to say ... what about when he was ill? Surely he would have you sit with him during a convalescence."
"The few times he was ill my mother would have him brought out to his sitting room where he would lay upon the couch. One at a time, we would sit in a chair beside him, and talk or read to him. She said that it was so we children could visit with him without being overtaxing to him. We would be ushered out if he grew tired. I think it was rather my mother's way of keeping everyone modest."
He put his hand on her chin and gently tilted it up until he made her look at him.
"I think your assumption is correct one," he said realizing how his upbringing with his sick mother had differed from Elizabeth's, how he remembered both he and his sister being on his mother's bed, and in her arms when she was able, wanting a closeness that only their touch could bring her.
Trying a different tact, he then asked, "But as his spouse your mother was allowed entry, was she not?"
"Of course, William," Elizabeth said. "She was after all his wife."
He was smiling as he gazed into her eyes. She nodded realizing that as his wife, she too was entitled to enter his bedroom.
He said, "Elizabeth, it is only a room, nothing more."
She smiled back at him and nodded, and sighed, "Indeed."
His hand gently pulled her in the rest of the way and she began to look around. She walked through another door opened to this one so she could admire his sitting room, with more masculine decorations about it. The same style of mahogany furniture was in this room as well, so that the two rooms matched. From her vantage point in the threshold of his sitting room her eyes scanned the more masculine fireplace mantle with two leather chairs facing it, and the other more masculine decorations around, a sword displayed on one wall, a painting of a hunt.
Slowly she turned her gaze to the bedroom, and to the next wall where beside the window was a table with a lamp, and two chairs all in the same dark mahogany, a large armoire. He had come up behind to embrace her as she turned around to see the most enormous four-poster bed she had ever seen.
She tried to step back, but he was there holding her against him, his head resting on her shoulder. He could feel her tension, and nestled his lips by her ear. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against him and tried to steady her breathing. He was silent, tightening his embrace, but still feeling her trembling, and seeming to know her feelings, and simply held her to him gently.
"Perhaps you would feel more comfortable elsewhere?" He finally said.
She nodded and they returned to her rooms. He sat her down on the bench at her mirrored dressing table, and kissed her hands. She felt much more composed in her rooms and tried to smile.
"Why do you not get ready for bed and I will come for you in a little while." She nodded again afraid of her own voice. "I will send the maid to help you." He kissed her cheek and pulled the bell cord before exited the room.
She finally exhaled. She wondered as all brides must wonder who haven't had any experience beyond kissing, of what was to come? She knew it was merely the uncertainty that brought about her unrest, and tried to ease her mind with some activity.
True to his word, the maid was at her door soon with a friendly smile and a curtsey. Her name was Lotty, and she helped Elizabeth take her almost waist length hair down and brush all the tangles from it. It was a comforting task that let Elizabeth relax a bit.
Lotty helped her get undressed and into the lingerie that her aunt had given her. Lotty's eyes were as large as saucers when she first viewed the elegant nightgown, but the pale look from Elizabeth made her keep her comments to herself. It was clear that the bride was so nervous, and Lotty's didn't want to make her more so.
"You look beautiful, Mistress," was her only comment to the now shy bride who tried to smile.
Jane, she thought closing her eyes and wishing her sister were here at the moment to give her a hug.
She then looked at Lotty and smiled, hoping that the maid wasn't offended at her ignoring her for the moment. Lotty smiled as Elizabeth took the hands of her maid in hers and squeezed them. Lotty returned the squeeze, glad that the new mistress was so human as to show a lowly maid that she had fears just the same as everyone.
"Everything'll be fine, Mistress. You'll see," Lotty whispered rubbing some warmth into Elizabeth's hands.
"Thank you, Lotty," Elizabeth whispered back. Lotty smiled and left Elizabeth alone with her thoughts. She took the brush from her dressing table and began to comb her hair again. Some activity was better than pacing the room, she thought.
Not long after she heard a soft knocking at the door between their bedrooms, and Darcy's head peaked in. He entered quietly and placed a glass of wine on the dressing table in front of Elizabeth. She was playing with ends of her hair, something he noticed as a nervous gesture. He looked into her eyes in the mirror and swallowed hard trying not to think about what she was wearing or how he wanted to ravage her. She looked into his eyes and tried not to notice he was wearing only his shirt and breeches. As usual, she tried to hide behind her wit.
"I was wondering if my father had been correct in thinking that a case of nerves could be inherited. I think they might instead be quite contagious. What is your opinion on the topic?" His smile tried to allay her fears.
"Although a nervous disposition may perhaps indeed run in some families, I think in this particular case, it is the circumstances that may have brought them about. And as to the risk of them being communicable, well," and here he smiled adding, "I'll take my chances." He gazed into her eyes.
"And I thought perhaps we could toast to our good health and happiness," he finally said.
She took the wine glass he offered and clinked the glass with his, and then brought it to her lips. She had intended only to sip it, but took an extra large mouthful and gulped it down in a hurry and nearly choked.
He took the glass from her hand and placed both back on her dressing table. He then took her by the hand and walked her over to her bed trying not to think about how sensuous she looked in that gown.
"Come lie down beside me, Elizabeth," he said as he got into her bed and moved over and pulled her in as well. She lay down tensely beside him. He lay on his side with his head propped up on his elbow so he could face her. He covered them with the counterpane so she would feel less vulnerable. It also helped him keep his mind focused on her feelings and not his.
"I would talk with you before this night progresses any farther."
He sounded so serious, Elizabeth thought. Is he going to tell me what he is to expect from me? What I need to do to do my duty? He leaned over and kissed her lips lightly, and his hand stroked her cheek gently. He could feel tell how frightened she was and he thought he knew why, but wanted her to tell him in her own words.
"Would you be more comfortable if I held you? In the carriage you finally fell asleep when I cradled you." She shook her head, and felt herself blushing.
He asked, "What do you anticipate is going to happen tonight, Elizabeth?"
"Until today I thought I had some idea as to what was to occur, but truly I am not sure of ... if ... when ... we..." she whispered.
"But someone has told you something that frightened you?" She sighed and nodded, trying to relate this to some anecdotic from her father, but failing miserably, tears forming in her eyes.
"Shhhh," he whispered in her ear as he touched her check gently with his hand.
"That is what I thought had happened, but did you not talk to your aunt about this? Could she not allay your fears?"
He kissed her hair, smelled her lavender and wanted to take her to his bed so badly just then, but she was too frightened, and he knew he must wait. He took a deep breath to calm his own desires.
Elizabeth panted a few times, and then managed to speak.
"My aunt said ... that I should trust my husband, that he was ... a gentle person and would wish me to enjoy this night."
"And that did not help allay your fear? Oh, Elizabeth," he whispered, confirming his realization that her extensive reading not withstanding, she had lead a very sheltered life, and she was still so innocent in many ways.
He smiled down at her and said, "This night is meant to be glorious, not something to be feared or dreaded."
"But my mother said-"
He interrupted her with, "I am sure your mother meant well, Lizzy. But I want you to listen to what I tell you."
His use of her nickname instead of her Christian one made her feel a closeness to him much like what she had with Jane, and it comforted her. She looked hopefully into his eyes.
He smiled down at her and teased, "After all, I am your husband, and you did promise to obey me." He nuzzled his face on her neck and brushed her ear with his lips.
She nodded but was still worried about what was to come. He cupped her face in his hand and made her look into his eyes.
"I never wish you to feel anything but wonderful on this night or any other for that matter." He continued.
"Yes, I want to make love to you. My desire for you began from almost our first encounter when you ignored me on the balcony at that Assembly ball. I was so taken with you when you let me put fireflies in your hands. When you took the ribbons from your hair to give to that owl I wanted to touch the lovely skin your curls were caressing."
He looked at her remembering just how quickly his desires for her had grown as he remembered other incidents and he smiled.
"Remember Jane's illness, and when I told you I carried you over to the couch? You were asleep in my arms; my desire was at a point then that I wanted to kiss you."
He closed his eyes and sighed and paused before he continued.
"But when you allowed me to help you faced your fears with Sampson and I had you in my arms, I felt something beyond mere desire, something I had never before experienced, and so did not recognize it. That was then I had a vision our children, Elizabeth."
Here she tried to avert her gaze, but he wouldn't let her.
"It was after you left me at Rosings and I knew I had lost you, that I realized then how much you meant to me. But because of all my interference you had turned against me, and I knew not how to get to at least forgive me. And I felt so lost. Suddenly you showed up at Pemberley and I felt I never wanted to let you go. By the time your sister eloped I knew I would do anything; pay any price to have another chance to have you by my side. I would risk everything for you. So, yes, I desire you, and have for such long time even before I could ever admit my love for you. But because I love your so dearly now you must trust me, Lizzy. I never want you to feel frightened or uncomfortable by my actions. I want to make all our nights joyous, and want us to glory in what God has given us. I want to make love to you in such a way that you will wish to have me in your bed every night."
He was smiling when he finished, and saw that she had begun to cry as she smiled, and he kissed her tears, and she finally allowed him to pull her close to him. He relished in the delight of having her body next to his. He felt her finally begin to relax in his arms as he looked down at her smiling face.
"I love you so," she whispered, her arms slowly moving up around his neck.
He smiled as his lips met hers in a warm soft kiss. Her fears were finally abating, being replaced with trust, but he knew how important it was to control his desires as he continued his attentions to her.
He knew how courageous she was, and how she always wanted to appear so, but that at this moment she finally trusted him so completely that she let him see her at her most fragile. Like fine crystal, he thought, she would break if he pressed her. He knew then that he would take all the time she needed to have her be his completely.
Holding her head gently in his hands, his fingers tangling in her hair, he began kissing first her cheeks, eyes, mouth, where he lingered feeling her responding to his kisses. Slowly she allowed him access to her neck, and shoulders, collarbone and that spot at the base of her neck that he had already discovered.
Gradually she became more accustom to his ministrations. He waited for her to be elated with the sensation of his hands caressing her. Slowly his hands wandered while he kissed her loving. His own body trembled with desire when he felt her soft skin with his hands and his lips. And he knew with tender caresses they would soon enjoy his desires as well. It was through his gentle attentions that her fears were replaced by excitement as her body began to respond. She pressed herself against him as she became aware of each new and wonderful sensation he invoked in her with his hands and mouth.
As he awakened her desires with his attentions, he felt his own being aroused to an even greater height, but waited until he felt her passion increased enough to want him to continue. Finally they came as one. She had been frightened at first, trembling as he held her tenderly, but his gentleness afterwards put all her fears to rest.
When he finally lay with her in his arms, he knew at last what his father must have felt for his mother, a feeling of such completeness, to have his heart so filled with the joy of having her love him, to know that she would be with him forever. That was why his father had it engraved in her ring.
When he saw tears fill her eyes, he asked, "What is the matter, my love?" He kissed her face and lips.
"Nothing, William. I am happy, truly." She smiled adding, "It's just ... I am no longer a girl."
And he smiled and kissed her tears away gently as they both realized she had passed from one phase of her life to another in just one night. He felt elated to have given her another 'first time' experience; this one was the most special. It was then he realized that having her so completely his was also a 'first time' for him as well and smiled.
"I am glad you chose me to help you pass into womanhood. I love you so much, Elizabeth Darcy. I always will."
She nestled closer to him for warmth, and closing her eyes she smiled as she breathed in his scent along with that of soap and the shaving cream, cologne.
"What are you doing?" he whispered as he felt her soft sniffs as kissed her shoulder. Her nose inhaling softly next to his face and neck.
"Breathing. I am breathing in my husband's scent," she whispered back smiling. He held the back of her head with his hand, and pulled it to his in a wonderful long kiss that spoke of passions yet to come.
Author's note:
*Shakespeare's "Much Ado About Nothing" has a great comic character in the form of the constable.
*Peter Paul Ruben's "Chateau de Steen" and **Claude Lorraine's "Landscape with the Finding of Moses" are two paintings that would be older, but Darcy could well afford them, and perhaps appreciate them as reminiscent of his love of Pemberley.
Chapter 47 - Married Life Begins Posted on Wednesday, 26 February 2003
Their stay in London had to be extended for several weeks due to the poor conditions of the roads, and the severe weather between town and Derbyshire. All the while they were at the townhouse Darcy stayed with Elizabeth in her rooms. He didn't care where they slept so long as they were together. All his dreams of having her with him had never come close to the reality of her being there. The touch of her hair as he caressed it, the warmth of her body next to him, the smell of lavender on her skin, the sight of her lashes against her cheeks, the gentle sighs she made as she slept in his embrace mesmerized him as much as everyone else affected by her charm. He was totally in awe to be in her presence.
During the next days, he gave her a tour of the rest of the house, and bundled her up to show her the small flower garden on the side of the house with a retaining wall all around. He explained how each bed blossomed with various flowers during the spring and summer, how his gardeners had transplanted some of the plants from Pemberley to have a piece of it here in London with him to remind him of home. She closed her eyes as she tried to imagine them, and smiled at all the colors her mind saw. She could barely wait to see them in the spring. He looked into her face and couldn't resist such a temptation. He bent down and kissed her gently and held her against him as he sighed with contentment. They stood in silence hugging in that secluded garden until she began to shiver.
"Come," he whispered as he steered her back inside. She smiled, glad that he had showed her this small part of Pemberley.
They stayed in the library for quite a lot during their stay as Elizabeth was amazed by the enormity of books there. There was everything from Aiken and Austen, Bacon and Lord Byron, Burns and Blake, Coleridge and Cowper, which was one of Elizabeth's favorite. Many authors she had known of or read like Donne, Dryden and Keats, Lamb and Milton, and of course, Shakespeare.
She even smiled when she came across some of Ann Radcliffe's books, and wondered if these were Georgiana's and not Darcy's. There were many authors she had heard of but never read, as well as ones she had not even had the privilege to know that peaked her interest immensely. All in wonderful order and organized in such a way, that she had no trouble finding any book she wanted.
Darcy smiled as she perused the shelves, seeing her eyes sparkle like a child in a sweets shop. He pretended not to stare as he sat on the couch and tried to read his own tome, and waited to see which books she would select first from his collections.
She took down Lord Byron, and the book fell open of its own accord to his work "She walks in Beauty", and Elizabeth read through it, smiling. She looked at Darcy who smiled, but didn't look up from his book. She replaced the book back to the shelf. Next she chose David Garrick's work "Florizael & Perdita" and began to read it too.
As she read she remembered something her Aunt Gardiner had said regarding the play and leafed through the pages more quickly.
"Was this play not performed once in London?" She asked knowing that he was watching her.
He looked at the book and then at her, and replied, "Yes, I believe so as the Royal Theatre in Drury Lane." She replaced this book too, and went on reading the titles caressing each one as if it were a special friend. Some had titles that made her blush like Lord Herbert of Cherbury's "Kissing" or Robert Herrick's "To Virgins, to make Much of Time", and Thomas Campbell's "The Pleasures of Hope".
Finally she pulled three books out and sat down to read beside Darcy. He noticed Thomas Otway's "The Enchantment" and Charlotte Smith's "Emmeline" sitting beside her while she opened and began reading Mary Wollstonecraft's "Vindication of the Rights of Woman". She had also picked up his copy of William Wordsworth, which was lying on the table before her. He smiled again, and her gaze went from the page of her book to his eyes.
"What?" She asked curiously, but somehow knowing what he was going to say.
"A very interesting first choice," was his reply, still not looking up from his book
"Yes," she agreed. "I thought so. And after I have read this one and perhaps the others I may have something to say about them."
She smiled at him, and when he finally looked into her eyes he forgot to breathe.
When he was able to, he took a breath and merely said, "I would certainly hope so."
Recovering, he returned her smile and took her hand and kissed it, and then held it while they both went back to reading their books. They each released their hands only in order to turn a page, returning them again to the comfort of the other's hand. During that week they continued what was to be a life long habit of discussions on various writers both old and current, and continued to enjoy their sometimes-differing opinions.
She also availed herself of the music room as Darcy sometimes sat on the couch beside the piano and listened to her play and sing. One of his favorite pieces was the Cherubino's "Voi che sapet" from "The marriage of Figaro" which she had sung the first time she came to Pemberley. It brought back many fond memories for them both. Other times, when she looked through the selections of Georgian's music in the pile on the piano, he would sit beside her on the bench and offer to turn the pages. Some of the pieces were by Handel, which seemed to be Georgiana's favorite composer. Elizabeth liked the ones from his Susanna oratorio, especially "Chastity Thou Cherub Bright" and "Ask If Yon Damask Rose". Darcy found sheet music in Georgiana's collection by Gluck's opera named "What Alas Shall Orpheus Do?" that he requested her sing. As she played he caressed her back gently, just wanting to touch her to know she was not still a dream. She turned her gaze from the keys and smiled up at him as if to say, I am real, William.*
When he retired into his study to answer correspondence and for estate business, he would ask her to join him. She either sat and read in one of chairs by the fireplace, or sat at the small table beside the window to read or write letters to her family. The ones she wrote to and received from Jane during that time were the most pleasant. Elizabeth told Jane in a clear tone of how incorrect her mother had been in her advise on the morning of their nuptials, and how fulfilling it has been to be married to William. Jane's return letters seem to carry a similar bent about how wonderful married life was for her and Charles. They were totally happy and at ease with being married. If only mother would decide to stay home at least one day a week, then their happiness would be complete. As she played with the cross on her necklace, Elizabeth smiled at this most remarkably un-Jane-like statement. Mother's constant visits were beginning to wear even on Jane.
Darcy looked up from his desk, and noticed her smile at reading her letter.
"Is there any news to relate from Bingley and your sister?" he asked as he shuffled papers from one pile to the other.
"Only that mother has decided that daily visits are to be a normal occurrence, and that Jane would prefer them to be of a...lesser quantity at present." She blushed, and then she thought of what she would say under similar circumstances. Darcy could almost read her thoughts as he stared at her.
"Perhaps ... it is a good thing, then that Pemberley is as far away as fifty miles," he said as he smiled at her. She looked at him, and returned it, her cheeks glowing even warmer.
She shook her head, and shuddered to think of what might be said either by herself or her husband under such a situation. Darcy looked at her and speculated.
"As kind hearted as they both are, if your sister has deemed to write of it to you in a letter, I am sure it must weigh heavy on her mind as well as Bingley's."
"They neither would say a word to mother, and you are well aware of her inability to read moods." Elizabeth sighed, knowing how trying her mother could be at times even to the most amiable couple in existence. And her constant presence can't be conducive to marital felicity she was sure.
Darcy was having similar thoughts, and began to shuffle papers again. Elizabeth knitted her brows thinking that the conversation was abruptly finished, but then looked over at him curiously as he searched through a stack of papers obviously looking for something in particular. She rose and stood beside his desk, unaware that her hand automatically touched his shoulder; their tactile ness was second nature to them both now. Finally, he spoke.
"Here! This may be the solution to all concerned," he ventured as he handed her a letter from a gentleman with an estate to the west of Pemberley, not five miles away. She smiled back.
"It says that this Mr. Smithson is to travel to America, and wishes to have the estate sold before he leaves in autumn. Is that enough time to seal a contract should Charles and Jane decide upon it?"
"Many transactions have been handled in less time when both parties are agreeable," offered Darcy re-reading the letter. "If you write a letter to your sister while I write one to Mr. Smithson and get them both in the post by this afternoon, perhaps we may be of help to both sides." She nodded as she smiled at him, and he was lost in her eyes. He pulled her head close and kissed her most ardently, and only quit to draw breath. He panted and swallowed and licked his lips. She smiled and panted as she heard him say,
"You are quite a distraction to me, Lizzy," he said in raspy voice, and tried to clear his throat, and his thoughts as well.
She put her arms around his neck and gave him a peck on the cheek, and then hugged him with a, "I shall write Jane directly," before she returned to the table to compose herself in order to write.
The weather had been cold but clear one afternoon when they decided to take a walk in the park nearest the house one day. After bundling up against the wind, they braved the winter air as they briskly walked the few blocks to the park, and ventured in. The lanes were wide and devoid of ice, but the entire park lacked any color except the green of the yews and firs as well as a grayish frost that covered the leaves in the flowerbeds. Still, it had a special beauty that was not lost on the couple as they ambled through several of the lanes. It was not until Darcy allowed his hand to gently caress her face that he noticed how Elizabeth's rosy cheeks felt icy cold to his touch.
"It is too cold for you to be out," he said and began to steer them back down the street they had come.
"I am fine, William, truly. I have walked many miles during weather far worse than this just for the sheer enjoyment of it." She smiled at him, and her eyes sparkled like ice crystals reflecting in the afternoon sun. He smiled back thinking of adjectives to describe her: brave, tenacious, independent, vivacious, mesmerizing, and he swallowed and tightened his hold on her hand, which seemed to be freezing.
"There is this little shop not far that you might enjoy?" He offered as they walked arm in arm out of the park.
"That sounds lovely," she demurred trying not to shiver, wanting just have this time with only him without servants or family or friends, only him.
His thoughts were on a similar bent as they walked. It's not that he didn't want to introduce her to all his friends, he thought; show her all his haunts while here in London. Indeed, he wanted to show the world how wonderful she was, and how fortunate he had felt to have won her heart. He gazed at her as they walked the short distance to the little tearoom that he favored around the corner from his chess club and a bookshop specializing in first editions. He smiled, and thought, I just don't wish to share you with anyone just yet, Elizabeth. I want to be with you, and only you for a while longer.
Upon entering, they were shown to a corner table away from the window and drafty front door, and closer to the freestanding stove. He pulled the chair out for her, and ordered tea and biscuits from the waiter. They sat in silence for the few moments it took to bring them steamy cups of tea. Elizabeth used the cup to warm her hands, and stared around at the little shop tucked away from all the hustle and bustle in London's business district. She looked at him, and smiled as she thought how he must love to come here and have a quiet hour, not having to converse with anyone about estate business, perhaps bring a book to disappear into for a while. He smiled back and took her hand and kissed it before holding it in his on the table.
"How long ago did you find this treasure, William?" She sipped her tea and watched his face, now so relaxed.
Looking about him, he replied, "About five years ago. It was not long after my father died, and I was at the bookshop near here, and just came in by chance." He sipped the still scalding hot tea, adding a bit of cream into it.
"Bookshop?" Her eyes brightened at this prospect.
"Yes, it is just around the corner as is my chess club-"
"Where you best all the members no doubt," she teased as she nibbled on a biscuit.
"I should take you there to let you see how the masters play. Perhaps we could persuade a few to take you on."
"Do you seriously believe they would allow me to play, William? They are masters, and I am merely-"
"An excellent chess player," he finished, not wanting her to even think that she was anything less than brilliant.
"A woman in a chess club?" She responded as if it could never happen, but her smile told him she was intrigued at the idea.
"It would be unusual, but, it's not as if you would have been the only one," he teased back sipping his tea and remembered years ago when a man brought in his young daughter for a game when Darcy was a teenager before his mother's death.
"Perhaps another time?" she asked still using the cup to warm her hands. "Maybe we could go to your favorite bookshop around the corner?"
"Yes, that is another destination we may decide on. I am waiting for a book I ordered to be delivered there," acknowledged Darcy. "The shop is quite close if you have warmed up enough."
He looked at her as she smiled lovingly into his face, and silently sipped her tea.
"Or do you wish to return home?"
When he said the word 'home' her smile brightened, and the thought that they had a place called 'home' made her nodded happily. He pulled her chair out for her and they moved toward the entrance. He opened the door to the harsh wind and they both stepped outside. He put her hand on his arm as they made their way back down the street to 'their' home.
He had arranged to take her to the theater on the last night before their departure to Pemberley along with her aunt and uncle Gardiner. All enjoyed the wonderful production of Mozart's "The Magic Flute", which was enthralling to the Gardiners with all the fantastical creatures and scenery. They were intrigued by the prince Tamino, and his flute with the power to charm animals, as he tried to save the fair maiden, Pamina. After successfully passing trials of fire and water, Tamino and Pamina are untied through the power of love.
"That was a magnificent opera, dear," replied Mr. Gardiner to his wife as he held her hand. She smiled, thinking of him as her very own prince.
"Yes, dear. It was truly inspired. Was it not, Lizzy?"
Mrs. Gardiner looked to her niece who was smiling, but not at her aunt.
"Yes," was her only reply.
Mr. Gardiner interjected with, "And were not the colorful creatures to your liking, Mr. Darcy?" He smiled at his wife and waited for the young man to reply.
"Yes," was his only reply.
The Gardiners had to prompt the young couple out of their reverie in order to exit their box seats and make their way down into the lobby and into the waiting carriage. Silence ensued on the ride home as neither couple wished to discuss the varying aspects of the opera. The Gardiners thoughts of its being an emotional opera hitting close to home with their own relationship kept them quiet as they merely held hands.
Truth be known, neither Elizabeth nor Darcy could tell you anything precise about the opera as they had been looking at each other for most of the performance, and so did not have anything to offer to a discussion. The Gardiners watched as Darcy and Elizabeth both closed their eyes and enjoyed the ride home also holding hands. Her relatives merely smiled at one another, watching their happiness repeat itself in the young couple.
When the weather finally cleared Darcy and Elizabeth rode in the carriage the rest of the way to Pemberley. It was a pleasant journey while they stayed warm under a blanket due to the winter weather. He had brought a book of Shakespeare's Sonnets and she one of Donne and they took turns reading to each other. Unlike the other carriage ride, she was more at ease, and relaxed in the security of his embrace. And because many intimacies were exchanged during the ride, it didn't seem to last as long as the one previous.
When they arrived at Pemberley they were greeted by the entire staff, which included Mrs. Reynolds. She smiled as she welcomed the new mistress, glad that the master had chosen this young woman. Mrs. Reynolds had suspected that Elizabeth would be the one to make her master happy. She had been perfect for him, and now she had come.
The ritual of the receiving line of servants was repeated, but Elizabeth was much less tense about it, and truly felt that the servants knew how much she wanted all of them to like her. She was so much at ease that she carried on many conversations at once that put the servants at ease too. Many smiled at the wonderful new mistress who would make this house an inviting home again. Everyone who had witnessed this scene was glad and felt the calm that had come over the house.
Darcy and Elizabeth decided to have a light supper and then retire. They made their way to the upper floors where Darcy showed her another set of bedrooms. Her rooms, like the ones in the townhouse, were exquisitely decorated with refinement and taste. She smiled as she entered them. The wallpaper was a lilac color and had a flower design, and the scent of lavender permeated the rooms. She closed her eyes and breathed in the soft fragrance.
She felt his arms encircle her from behind resting his head on her shoulder. She closed her eyes as she felt his lips on her neck and moved her head so he could kiss more of her. She sighed, and then opened her eyes to focus on the room again and came to a realization.
"This was her room was it not?" she whispered knowing the answer.
She felt him tense, but she turned in his embrace to face him. "I hoped you would feel her loss a little less now," she whispered holding his gaze. Her eyes couldn't disguise the sadness she felt for him.
He smiled, and kissed her cheeks tenderly, and held her against him. He closed his eyes and sighed. "I am sure the pain will lessen now that you are come. I just wish you could have known her. She would have liked you very much."
Elizabeth closed her eyes and breathed in the lavender scent and smiled. "This fragrance reminds me of our home."
"Yes," he agreed. It did at last feel like 'home'. Neither noticed that there were no flowers in the room.
He leaned down and kissed her lips lightly, and then more passionately when he felt her respond to him. Finally taking a breath, he whispered, "Come, let me show you my rooms."
Not wishing to dissuade him of any of his suggestions, but still feeling slightly disconcerted, she followed him to the threshold. He opened a door adjoining hers into a spacious bedroom that was decorated similarly to hers except for the large bed with mahogany posters. It would be the first time that she would be in a man's bedroom. He saw her face tense as she stood in the doorway. He sensed what was causing her unease and his arms encircled her and held her against him.
His lips were close to her ear as he suggested in an almost teasing manner, "We could tour the rest of the upstairs rooms if you prefer. I believe at last count there were 80 or so."
She shook her head and smiled, relaxing in his embrace, knowing everything would be fine. She turned her head so he could kiss her deeply belying his wish for the tour. Her eyes looked into his with the same idea, and he smiled.
She replied, "Later would be preferable."
"Do you require a maid to help you get undress?" He asked hoping for a 'no'.
She hesitated for a few seconds and looked at him wondering if he were still teasing her.
Then as if reading his mind, she said, "Perhaps...I can manage with the aid of the person presently in the room," she said surprising both of them, her cheeks blushing.
He began to unbutton her collar, and of few of the larger buttons on the back of her dress while keeping her gaze. His hands moved to pull the dress off her shoulders. Her bare skin beneath his hands made him think of her next to him, and he swallowed, and licked his lips. He leaned down and kissed her and then craned his neck over her shoulder.
"Elizabeth," he whispered, his breath raspy, but she could surmise he was struggling to unfasten the smallest buttons. His mouth pressed against hers again and his hands returned to her dress. She felt her heart racing.
"Yes?" she could barely reply.
"Turn around," he whispered as kissed her again. She obeyed and felt the heat of his hands on the back of her neck as they fought with the smallest buttons he had ever seen.
"Why do they have to be so small?"
"What?" she asked confused as she saw his face blush.
"I am at a loss as to how to ... I cannot extricate you from this dress? My fingers are too large to manage the loops of these blasted buttons. "
She tried to reach the buttons, but they were in just the wrong place for her hands to reach. He held some of her dress in his hand.
"Can it not go over your head?" They tried that method, but the bodice was still too tight for her maneuver out of. But while he had her arms captured, he couldn't resist tickling her waist just beneath the bottom of her corset.
"Oh, please, stop, William," she said laughing and bringing her arms as well as the dress back down.
After he gave her an exasperated stare he saw first her eyebrow arch.
"Who purchased this dress for you, Elizabeth?"
"I seem to recall my mother-"
"Why does that not surprised me," he began. She countered back.
"But it months before we were married, and had I known it would be such a deterrent, I would have willingly given it to Lydia."
"I doubt these buttons would have stopped anyone that determined toward ruination, Elizabeth. And truth be told, I am about ready to remove you from this dress forcibly if need be."
She looked into his eyes, and her face blushed and her mouth dropped open as her mind visualize his words complete with the sound of ripping cloth. His eyes told her he was serious, but she wondered if it was so, and she suddenly began to giggle, which he couldn't resist. That was when his eyes softened and he laughed too at the absurdity of their situation.
She finally managed to get out as she touched his cheek, "Perhaps a maid is in order after all?"
"Perhaps so," he agreed, pulling her once more into his embrace and kissing her lips, and then holding her against him, having her sweet scent have a calming effect on him.
He closed his eyes as he held her gently against him. He shuddered as he realized how strong his desires for her were, how so close he had come to ripping her dress off to get to her, had she not begun to laugh. He doubted that she would have been too pleased to know what thoughts her husband harbored underneath all that civility.
Finally she pulled away from him so she could smile at him. Pulling his hands from around her, she led him back into her room pulling out her hairpins. He smiled and allowed her to lead him, releasing her hand in order to pull the bell cord in her room.
"Now I may be able to manage that task," he suggested coming up behind her as she sat at her dressing table. His hands deftly pulled the pins out of her waist length hair that cascaded down her back. He took her brush and began to comb through it.
"As to the facts about ...dresses and ...undressing..." She said softly sitting at her dressing table playing with the end of one of her tresses.
"Yes?" he asked still busy brushing her hair, the fragrance of lavender filling his head as he thought how much he loved his hands in her hair.
"Sometimes a dress can be...exited either up or down, buttons not withstanding." She blushed and still refused to look at him.
"So I have always surmised." He kissed her head gently, as he returned her brush to the table. He looked at her reflection in the mirror.
"But if you ever wear this dress again, I promise it will be in shreds by nightfall."
She looked at his reflection in the mirror, swallowed, and nodded, then looked down again playing with the ends of her hair.
"Perhaps one day," she teased, looking back at his reflection in the mirror, as she began to blush. "We could take an afternoon to practice."
A smiled began to play across his face as he kissed her exposed shoulder, the sensation of it causing her heart to race, and he noticed how she blushed from her shoulder all the way up her cheeks.
"I doubt I would have the patience for that, my love, for the most obvious reason, which I need not voice." He smiled broadened as he gazed at a reflection of a very discomforted Lizzy.
She turned around but before she could admonish him for his remark, he kissed her fully to let her know of what was to come. He whispered, "I will return for you soon."
She watched as he went through the door that joined their rooms, her cheeks still flushed with embarrassment from what he had just inferred.
Within five minutes the maid knocked on her door to help her undress. Needless to say, the maid's deft fingers had no problem undoing the smallest buttons, and Elizabeth finally was able to remove the offending dress. She already had her nightclothes laid out, and so she and the maid completed the task in due time. She smiled at Elizabeth.
"You are very beautiful, Mistress," the young maid said shyly smoothing out the last of the wrinkles. Elizabeth smiled back at her.
"Thank you. What is your name?"
"I am Betty, Mistress, and I am to be your personal maid if you wish."
"I do indeed, Betty. Thank you so much. You have been very helpful. I will see you in the morning when I ring for you."
"Yes, Mistress," said the sweet maid who curtsied and then she left Elizabeth.
She was brushing out the last tangle in her hair when Darcy entered from his room having removed his waistcoat, cravat, and vest. He had been impatient for her to return to him, gazing at her seated at her dressing table. He always knew he would love to watch her brushing her hair. It was a childhood memory that gave him comfort. This time, however, it excited him to know he would be touching that luxurious hair.
He tiptoed up in bare feet behind her and pulled aside her hair to kiss her shoulder through the soft material of her nightgown. She turned to stare into his face, and smiled, and rose to be enfolded in his embrace. She felt him sigh and say, "Come." And she blew out the candle on the dressing table, and they made their way through the doorway to his rooms.
Darcy awoke in the night to find Elizabeth gone from the bed and from his arms. He was distressed to find her warmth missing from beside him. For a few seconds of waking, he thought he had only been dreaming again of her being with him, and he began to panic. But then he saw the soft glow of candlelight coming from her room, and he arose to look for her.
The door to an alcove adjoining her room was opened, and when he entered he found her there touching the crib's rail in the adjacent nursery. He heard her gentle crying and thought she might be nervous about being in here. He had told her of his visions of the children, and so knew that he wished for them. He worried of her feelings about how their intimacies may have already begun the process to add to their family. She had been so naïve and innocent of all things about marriage just a few days ago, and he didn't want her to feel pressured.
He quietly came up behind her and touched her shoulders with his hands and nuzzled her neck with a gentle kiss. He whispered, "Lizzy, do not feel distressed in this room. We have a lifetime to think about its use. Come back to bed."
Her eyes were closed and she was caressing her chest in such a tender way. She leaned back against him, and his arms encircled her body just like that day when she faced her fear with Sampson. He sighed as all those emotions flooded back when she was leaning against him then. That wonderful feeling to have her so close and so content in his arms returned to him. It was so peaceful until he felt her panting now against him.
She whispered, "I heard them, William. I heard them in here laughing." He hugged her tighter and closed his eyes. She continued. "When I touched the crib I...felt I was nursing them." She inhaled at the sensation again as her arms cradled them to her again. He opened his eyes, his face holding a surprised expression that she would even think of not having a wet nurse was tempered by the serene pleasure he saw playing across her face as her mind still held onto her vision. She swallowed and then whispered.
"Oh, William, they are already here. I can feel their spirits. We just have to make their bodies."
He gently turned her around and he saw her tears of joy and he realized she had shared his vision of their children, and wanted them as much as he did. His hands cradled her head as he kissed her tear stained cheeks tenderly, and then he gently picked her up and carried her back to bed, happy in the thought that one day their dream would come true.
*Author's note:
The Regency Home Library: Regency Literature was where I got some of the titles and authors.
Mozart's Opera "The Magic Flute" was written in 1791, and felt sure it would have been something they could have seen in London during the Regency era.
I got these music three titles from a CD called Jane's Hand containing music that she would have played or sung. There are two other CD's if you're interested: The Jane Austen Collection and Piano Classics from the World of Jane Austen all of which can be obtained through Amazon. COM.