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Chapter 19 Posted on Wednesday, 29 January 2003
I felt wretched the next morning, and I was weighed down by an overwhelming feeling of guilt that I had listened to William and Elizabeth's conversation. I knew that the only way my problem would be solved would be to tell William that I had eavesdropped.
As I was contemplating all that had occurred, I heard a knock. I rose from the seat in front of my mirror and then opened my door, finding my cousin.
"I see you are presentable," William said stiffly, a wounded look on his face.
"Yes, Fitzwilliam, I am." We stood awkwardly, my conscience pushing me to tell him the truth. "William..." But before I could continue, Richard came up behind him in the hall.
"Emily, Darcy, are you ready to leave?"
"I have never been so happy to leave a place in my life," I muttered. William nodded in agreement.
"Emily, do you know where Miss Bennet was this morning? I waited for an hour at the parsonage, but she never came," Richard said thoughtfully. I noticed that William's jaw clenched at Richard's words.
"I could not know," I answered. "Elizabeth and I are not the best of friends." Richard did not dwell very long on the subject and excused himself, saying that he would return shortly. I was glad that William and I were once again alone.
"William, before we leave for London, I have something important to tell you," I began. William's eyes narrowed.
"Let us go to the study, Emily." I followed meekly behind William as we made our way down to the study. Once the door was shut, he looked at me expectantly.
"I..." I had to tell him, but I was wobbling on doing so. I looked him straight in the eyes and took a deep breath. "I know that you proposed to Elizabeth and that she rejected you." He jumped a little, as if I had slapped him in the face.
"How..." He was not a little shocked.
"I followed you! Oh, William, I am so sorry! I thought you were going to propose or do something mad, and I was going to... I don't know what I was going to do, but I heard everything." I paused. "The window was open and I listened to every horrible thing you said to Elizabeth--including the horrible things she said to you," I said so quickly that I was out of breath.
"You listened to a private conversation?" he asked coldly.
"I am family!" At his look of hatred cast towards me, I amended my statement in a softer tone. "I am family, however, it was wrong of me to listen. I should have never eavesdropped. Please do not hate me for long." William took a step backward and then forward, as if wanting to pace, and then he stopped and sighed.
"I do not hate you, Emily. I am upset." He let out a shuddered breath. "I do wish you had not heard all that transpired." I let out a bit of my own breath that I had been holding.
"How will Elizabeth know that you are in the right on Wickham?"
"I wrote her a letter. It was bitter and formal, and if she reads it, she will know all I have done. I told her about separating Bingley from her sister and all about Wickham's past with Georgiana." I gasped at his words.
"You told Elizabeth about Georgie? I never broached the subject with her because it was too personal."
"I trust Elizabeth," he said softly.
"Darce, Em--the carriage is waiting for you," we heard Richard say from the end of the hall. I took William's hand.
"So, you are not angry with me?" William nodded to Richard, and then we saw as my brother went back down the stairs. William turned towards me again.
"I should be, but I cannot be angry with you." We were about to leave when he suddenly stopped. "Emily, you have to promise me one thing." I looked at him, expecting his request. "You must promise never to eavesdrop on me again." I knew then that all my matchmaking was out of my hands. He had proposed, and he had been rejected. I could do no more.
"I promise that I will not eavesdrop willingly on you again," I told him. William shook his head at me, his heart still heavy over his rejection. He took my answer without saying another word. As we walked down the stairs, I thought about how proud my cousin had been before leaving Rosings yesterday, but today he looked very humble. He looked humble and broken.
I came out of my musings, feeling a bit sad that I wouldn't see my brother again for a while. I kissed Richard on the cheek.
"Be good and remember your family," I told him.
"I always remember my family," he assured me with a hug.
"Did you say good-bye to Aunt Catherine?" I asked him. Aunt Catherine had not wanted to come out since it was a bit windy. I had said my good-bye to her inside.
"I told her good-bye. That was enough. I will visit you in London whenever I can... Or, as soon as Matlock is ready, I will go home to be with the family." He lowered his voice. "Take care of Darcy."
"I will, Brother." He said a quick good-bye to William and then jumped onto his horse. He turned the horse towards me.
"Emily, I hope you find what you are looking for in London." I was puzzled at his words.
"What I am looking for?"
"Matt told me about a young man who came to Hertfordshire and fell in love with you."
"Oh, Richard! He did not fall in love with me, and I have not even seen him in weeks," I scoffed, though my cheeks were turning crimson. He laughed.
"Take care of yourself, Em." And Richard was off to his duty again.
The carriage ride was a time of silent reflection. Even though William easily forgave me, I was still feeling guilty about what I had done.
"Emily?" William asked me. "Are you sleeping?"
"I am not," I told him. William appeared very grave.
"I have been thinking about all I have done these last few months. I have acted in a juvenile manner, and I regret it. Mrs. Bingley is a gracious and kind woman; I should never have interfered in her life or in Bingley's."
"In your defense, you were trying to help Mr. Bingley," I told him.
"It is a poor excuse. I am a prideful creature, and I have let my pride get the best of me. I did not listen to you when you warned me to be cautious of my thoughts and actions."
"It is of no consequence now, Fitzwilliam. I am happy that all is behind us."
"I cannot rest very well knowing Wickham is still out there somewhere... He might come after Elizabeth or Georgiana..."
"You would not care if he were after me?" I wondered at his next words.
"I know that Hillsborough will look after you if I do not. You are safe from him, Emily." I shook my head, not agreeing with him.
"Mr. Hillsborough cannot watch after me all the time... He is not courting me... Nor is he my husband. Nay, I shall look after myself. I am stronger than many men," I attested.
"Be careful that you are always with someone when outside, Emily. I do not need Aunt and Uncle Matlock plus three strong men coming to my townhouse to execute me if you were harmed in any way."
"I assure you, Sir, that I can take care of myself quite well." I only hoped that one day I would not live to rue my words.
Chapter 20 Posted on Wednesday, 29 January 2003
After our long journey, I was very tired. So tired that I did not even have the energy to eat. As soon as we arrived, though, the housekeeper informed us that some people had been here to call on us, taking my mind off going to my bedchamber to sleep.
"A Mr. and Mrs. Bingley arrived here just before a Mr. Hillsborough." I had not thought Mr. Hillsborough to be back yet.
"Thank you," William told her. He gave me a questioning look before sending me off to bed.
The next morning, as William worked on his accounts in his study, I tried to read a book. Only a quarter of the way through my novel, I was told that we had visitors. Before I could go get William, Mr. and Mrs. Bingley stepped into the room.
"Mr. Bingley! Jane!" I cried. Jane hugged me to her.
"Lady Fitzwilliam! It is a pleasure to see you again," Mr. Bingley exclaimed. His marriage must have cured his gloominess for I had never seen him so cheerful.
"The pleasure is all mine, Mr. Bingley. Will you not sit down?" The Bingleys sat down on the sofa across from me, and as I was just about to wonder about William, he entered into the room.
"Bingley!" William's happiness for his friend was genuine. Mr. Bingley hesitated a little, not sure of his friend's reaction to Jane. "Mrs. Bingley, I hope you have had a nice honeymoon." The blush on Jane's cheek was most becoming.
"Yes, Sir, it was very nice."
"That is very good. I saw your sisters--Mrs. Collins and Miss Elizabeth--at Kent. They are very well." Jane and Mr. Bingley missed the look of desolation on my cousin's face, but I was observant enough to notice.
"Thank you, Mr. Darcy. Lizzy has been quite remiss in writing to me of late. Charles and I are returning to Hertfordshire soon, and I will see her there."
"Have you had a letter from Longbourn lately?" I asked as we all settled down.
"I have. My family is very well. Are your parents still in ill health?" Jane inquired, looking concerned.
"They are better. Pray, how did you know?"
"Lizzy told me that was the reason that we were not to go to Matlock."
"Oh, yes." William conversed with Mr. Bingley for a long time, and I enjoyed my time spent with Jane. We invited them to dine with us for the next evening, and when they left, I was in a better mood.
Only a half hour after the Bingleys left the townhouse, another guest was announced.
At the name, "Mr. Hillsborough," my heart automatically beat harder, and I thought I was going to feel faint.
"He is just a man!" I whispered, trying to calm myself.
"Lady Fitzwilliam!" I heard. I looked up and saw the man who I had thought about for weeks.
"Mr. Hillsborough." I curtsied. "My cousin has gone back to his study." I tried to regulate my breathing. Why was I so nervous? "Would you like me to bring him here?"
"Not yet," he admitted. I faltered in my confidence.
"Oh."
"I wanted to express my heartfelt wishes on your upcoming marriage..." I felt my heart stop.
"My marriage?"
"I love..." He shook his head, as if in defeat, and said, "Mr. Darcy will make you a good and faithful husband." My mind was in shock. Where had he heard this and what had he been about to say?
"Sir, who gave you this information?"
"Was it to be a secret?" The man looked heartbroken. "I happened to meet a man who knows of your family. I cannot recall the name, but he said that it was a matter of months before your marriage would be announced. I have come to congratulate you." He struggled to breathe. "I have a cousin whom I was destined to marry ... I had not wanted to and had thought that ... I will probably marry her in the next month." I was so shocked, that I was frozen in place, my lips wanting to move but not doing so. After a moment of silence, he (who had been standing and pacing the whole time) nodded to me, said "Good day, my Lady," and walked back towards the entrance.
"Mr. Hillsborough!" I called as he began to walk very fast out of the room. It was too late. The door closed and out walked my love. I stared at the door for several moments.
In my heart I knew I had lost him, and I also knew that Wickham must have had something to do with this misinformation. It could not have been Wickham himself--Mr. Hillsborough knew what he looked like. But why would he believe such gossip?
Finally, my feet moved and I flew out of the townhouse ... only to see that his carriage was moving away from here ... away from me.
I ran back inside and up the stairs, sobbing. Not only was William forever lost to Elizabeth, but I was going to be a spinster--I would be fated to watch Nathan Hillsborough marry another.
Chapter 21 Posted on Monday, 10 February 2003
"Lady Fitzwilliam, may I introduce my wife to you," Mr. Hillsborough said with a grin. A beautiful woman, taller than I, with light hair the color of Jane Bingley stood in front of me.
"You were about to steal my husband from me. We were betrothed from the cradle," she sneered.
"I loved you," I whispered, tears coursing down my cheeks.
"Do you think that I would have ever married someone like you? You are impulsive and are too inquisitive for your own good. I hope you enjoy your Mr. Darcy," he said, his grin changing into a glare.
"I am not married to Mr. Darcy, and I never will be," I said, frustrated that he wouldn't listen to me.
"Good day, milady," I heard from behind me, and turning saw George Wickham!
"Good bye," Mr. Hillsborough said with a stiff nod. He and his new wife rode away in their carriage, leaving me alone with Wickham.
"Now I will get my revenge on Darcy and have my money at the same time," Wickham chuckled evilly. He managed to back me into a corner and then lunged towards me.
"NO!" I shouted.
"NO! Don't!" I said, panting. Suddenly, I awoke in my bedchamber, my covers all tangled up around me. Somehow I had managed to turn in my sleep so that my head was almost dangling off of my bed. "What a nightmare!" I cried, noticing that I was sweating. Still panting, I tried to calm my rapidly pulsing heartbeat. George Wickham had been in many of my dreams lately.
Trying to erase the horrible image of Wickham in my mind, I ran a hand through my long, tangled hair and noticed for the first time that I had slept in my dress from the night before, now wrinkled and rumpled all the way through.
I slipped off of my bed and trudged to the mirror, jumping at my image. My hair was wild, and my eyes were red and bleary. I heard a knock on the door and opened it to find one of William's maids.
"Good afternoon, milady," the maid told me. I tried to remember her name, but it was hard to recall much of anything I knew at the moment.
"What time is it?" I asked her, trying not to bristle at her sharp eyes on me.
"It is half past noon, milady." I sighed and shook my head. Half the day was already gone. "Mr. Darcy has asked me to tell you that he will be out for a while today," she told me.
"Where has Mr. Darcy gone off to?" I asked, surprised.
"He did not say, milady."
"That is just like Fitzwilliam," I muttered. Sometimes he wouldn't say where he was going off to--if it were private enough. The maid helped me change into a fresh dress, and then she helped me with my hair. Looking in the mirror, I saw everything to my satisfaction except one thing--my eyes. They still looked red, hollow, and sad.
Knowing that William was not in, I took my time in eating. In reality, I was going through the motions of eating. I was so morose that I could not even taste the food.
After eating, I headed to the library and spent a long while looking for a book to read. William's library is extensive, however, I had to find just the right book.
I read books according to my mood. Today I was sad, and so I wanted to read a happy book. I looked through William's volumes of Shakespeare, and I settled on Hamlet. I know--it's a tragedy. I found the play quite amusing, or maybe it was just the mood I was in at the moment.
"I am Ophelia and he is Hamlet," I muttered after thinking about Mr. Hillsborough for the thousandth time that day. "He has driven me mad. Insufferable man!" I harrumphed.
I was just about to get to the part in the play where Ophelia had gone mad when I heard a commotion outside the library. I shut the book and put it on the edge of William's desk, to come back to it later. I wanted to get to the ending.
I opened the door and there in the hall I saw not only my cousin William, but also my cousin Georgiana!
"Georgie!" I cried, running to hug her. Georgiana enveloped me in a huge hug, her eyes wet with tears. I had tears in my own eyes as well.
"Emily! How I have missed you!" she sniffled.
"And I you. Is this where you have been all day, William?" I asked him. William shook his head at my question.
"I have had another pressing matter of business that needed my attention, Emily. I finished and thought you would like to see Georgiana."
"You look pale and sad, Cousin," Georgiana said in that quiet voice of hers. "Has something happened?"
"Let us move to the parlor," William told us. I put my right arm through Georgiana's, and we walked to the parlor. After sitting, Georgiana asked again if something had happened to me.
"I can dwell upon it no longer. It will be the death of me," I said, trying to make light of the issue, but utterly failing. "Will you not tell me of your studies?" I saw Georgiana give William a questioning glance, and William just shook his head to continue. Georgiana talked of all she was learning, and then she spoke of wanting to go to Pemberley.
"Fitzwilliam told me that we shall get to go to Pemberley soon. He wants to invite the Bingleys and Mr. and Mrs. Hurst and Miss Bingley." I cringed.
"Miss Bingley and the Hursts?"
"They are Mr. Bingley's relatives," William told me in his defense.
"Yes, but will they grace the halls of Pemberley? The shades of Pemberley will be polluted," I mumbled, hearing the saying one too many times from my aunt. Whenever a fortune-hunter had tried to seduce William, my aunt would shriek that the shades of Pemberley would be polluted.
"You sound like Aunt Catherine," William told me. I made a face, knowing he was right. However, I wanted to mention my distaste of Mr. Bingley's sister.
"Miss Elizabeth Bennet has more breeding than Miss Caroline Bingley, whom I disliked upon meeting her. I cannot forget our first meeting." At Georgiana's interested look, I continued. "She tried to tell me that my 'arts and allurements' would not secure her brother. As if I were trying to secure Mr. Bingley like she tried to secure William." William grimaced.
"Please do not mention her 'securing' me," he said with disdain.
"Miss Bingley is pleasant whenever I see her," Georgiana admitted.
"That is because she wants to catch your brother," I told her. "You are also 'well-bred' in her eyes."
"Why did she not like you, then?" William asked me.
"She saw me as competition, I think. I cannot fathom another guess." After a moment of silence, and a communication between William and Georgiana, she stood.
"It is nice to see you, Emily. I have spent weeks thinking that companionship would be nice. I shall go up to my room to freshen up a bit." I hugged her one last time before she left the room. Once the door was shut, William's mouth turned grim.
"Emily, I want to know what happened yesterday. Why are your eyes red and puffy?"
"Mr. Hillsborough came to see me after the Bingleys left." I didn't look up at him for fear of crying again. "He came to congratulate me on... He thought we were marrying." Despite my best efforts, I felt tears slide down my cheeks. "He said that someone who knew our family told him that you and I were to announce our engagement soon. He then said that he was betrothed to his cousin, whom he didn't love or plan to marry, and he was marrying sometime this month!" I finished with a burst of fresh tears. William crossed over to me and sat down, handing me his handkerchief.
"Em, do you love him?"
"Is it not quite obvious? I have spent weeks telling myself that he did not care for me so I would not be let down, but he almost said he loved me yesterday! He said, 'I love' and then nothing!"
"Maybe he loves his cousin, and that is what he was going to say," William said logically.
"No! He loves me. I know he does. What is to be done? I know there is nothing to be done." I sniffled. "I know what you must feel, William. It is an unbearable feeling, like a part of me has been broken and destroyed." William's own face showed his misery, but he schooled his features.
"Emily, you will have to learn to control yourself," he said gently. "I still feel hurt when I think of all that has happened with Elizabeth, but I take deep breaths and I continue on with my life." He hugged me to him and then kissed my head as if I were a child.
"When I promised your brothers that I would look after you, I didn't know how hard it was going to be," he said with that semi-smile of his.
"I promised Richard I would look after you," I said, sniffling again.
"That would be like your brother," William chuckled. He became serious again. "Em, I will try to remedy the situation. Even though your heart is broken, it can be mended. All hope is not lost."
"That should be my advice to you, Cousin."
"I dare not hope that my situation has changed. Yours, however, can be changed." We both stood.
"Thank you, William. You will make a wonderful father one day." William stared ahead.
"I will probably remain a bachelor," he told me.
"I think not." Then I tried to joke. "And if you remain a bachelor, and I a spinster, we could marry ourselves."
"Thank you, Em, for the proposition," he said dryly. "However, I do not think it would work."
"I am teasing you, William. Remember, there is always Anne," I added.
"I--"
"I know. You want Miss Elizabeth or no lady at all. I understand." William's expression became a little troubled, but Georgiana interrupted anything else we might have said.
"I cannot wait to go to Pemberley this summer when we shall all go together," Georgiana said, already looking forward to the journey.
"I cannot wait," I said quietly to her. I longed to go to Pemberley and then Matlock. I wanted nothing more than to forget what happened in London this spring.
Chapter 22 Posted on Monday, 10 February 2003
Forgetting Mr. Hillsborough proved to be harder than I thought. He had consumed almost every thought before he had left my life suddenly, but I thought of him even more just after he left.
I soon learned to get on with my life, as William had said, and time passed much more quickly. Before I knew it, July was upon us. I had not seen the Bingleys since the spring, but they had agreed to visit Pemberley. Jane had written to say that Elizabeth would be visiting the Lakes with their aunt and uncle Gardiner. I had not received a letter from Elizabeth in a long time, and I finally decided that if she wanted to continue our friendship, it was up to her.
A week before we were to go to Pemberley, I received a letter from Matthew. It read as follows:
Dearest Emily,I have received confirmation from Father regarding marrying Miss Lucas. We have set a date for the fall due to Father not being able to travel to Hertfordshire, where Charlotte wishes to marry, before then. My dearest Charlotte is happy, too. I think she thought I had abandoned her, but I wrote her notes that explained the situation and declared my love to her. I hope you shall like her as a sister. I hope you are well, dearest, and that Richard and Darcy took care of you in my wake (we Fitzwilliams and Darcys are protective brothers, you know). Soon, I feel you will marry your dearest love, Emily, and I will be happy to have you share in this delightful state of bliss. Maybe your Nathan Hillsborough is the one. You made quite an impression on this man and Father should approve. Until I see you again little sister. Your loving brother,
Matthew Fitzwilliam
The letter brought not only joy but sadness to me. Matt didn't know that his friend and I would never be together.
Georgiana came to London again that summer. She seemed happier than she had been in a long time, and I was glad that she felt better about what happened with Wickham last year. Mr. and Mrs. Bingley had been in London for a couple weeks due to business, and that meant that Miss Bingley was also here.
"I have been bored without you, Emily," Georgiana admitted. "Miss Bingley has come with her sister to town, I have heard," she said, taking off her bonnet as she stepped into the townhouse. William excused himself to his study.
"Yes, and Mr. and Mrs. Bingley are also here. They have not been in town long, but I have called upon them a couple times. Mrs. Bingley makes up for what her sister-in-law is not."
"Miss Bingley is no lady," she grumbled.
"Georgie, what makes you talk so?" I asked, though I giggled anyway.
"That woman tries to claim my brother for a husband, and she seems to believe that someday it will work."
"You and I can safely say that Miss Bingley will never become Mrs. Darcy," I assured Georgiana.
"Unless you know of another Mr. Darcy," Georgiana teased. She and I enjoyed each other's company, and before long, it was the day before we were to depart for Derbyshire.
When I came down for breakfast, Georgiana was already at the table. I did not see William.
"Where is William, Georgie?" I asked my cousin.
"William seems to have urgent business. He rode off to Pemberley a day early. We are traveling with the Bingleys and Hursts."
"I hope we can travel with Mr. and Mrs. Bingley," I said, not wanting to spend time alone with Miss Bingley. Georgiana agreed with me.
We did manage to travel with Mr. and Mrs. Bingley. We spoke of many pleasant things along the way, Mr. Bingley the one doing most of the talking. Every other sentence he would end with, "do you agree, my angel?" Georgiana and I exchanged glances a few times. Jane's replies were almost always, "Of course, my love." Maybe I should have ridden with Miss Bingley. On the other hand, I'm not that desperate.
When we arrived at Pemberley, William surprised us by saying that Elizabeth was at Lambton.
"My sister is here, Mr. Darcy? I thought she and my aunt and uncle were to be at the Lakes?" Jane said in astonishment.
"Apparently, Mrs. Bingley, your uncle has important business and cannot be away for long. Would you like to see them at the inn?" It was unanimous that everyone (excepting Miss Bingley and her sister and brother-in-law) were to meet Elizabeth at the inn. I was nervous to see her, and I hoped she would like Georgie.
After Jane and Mr. Bingley greeted Elizabeth, my brother made the introductions for Georgiana.
"Miss Bennet, you know Emily." Elizabeth smiled at me with a nod. "May I introduce my sister, Georgiana."
"Miss Bennet, I have heard so much about you from Emily and my brother," Georgiana said, curtsying.
"Oh, my," Elizabeth replied, looking amazed. "I hope it was not all discouraging." Georgiana smiled.
"Of course not, Elizabeth. We have all good things to say about you," I told her.
"I want to give my apologies for not writing sooner," Elizabeth said to me. "I have not been in very good spirits in the past few months."
"All is forgiven," I answered.
"Then we are friends again?" Elizabeth asked, not sure I would be so willing.
"I am easily forgiving. I am not innocent in all matters, either." Georgiana did not know of what we were talking, and so she stood near Jane for a moment. She whispered something to William and then came over between us.
"Miss Bennet, I am sure you would be pleased to visit with your sister. My brother and I would like to invite you to dine with us at Pemberley."
"I am sure my aunt and uncle have no other engagements," Elizabeth assured Georgiana. "We would be delighted to come."
Elizabeth, wanting to get to know Georgiana better, said, "I have heard that you are fond of music and play very well."
"I am ... fond of music, though I do not play very well. Though, I would like to hear you play. My brother says that he has rarely heard anything more beautiful." Elizabeth blushed.
"I will play, if you wish, though I am sure your brother dearly exaggerates."
"Oh, no!" Georgiana was quick to interject. "He rarely exaggerates. He tells the absolute truth. I could not ask for a better or kinder brother."
"I quite envy you and Emily. I have no brothers--only four sisters. Unless you count Mr. Bingley now," Elizabeth teased her new brother-in-law.
"I would love to have a sister," Georgiana said, getting her meaning across. William stared at Elizabeth as much as he had done in the winter of last year, and I could tell that something had taken place yesterday when he arrived here. We conversed a little longer, and then Georgiana and I asked if Elizabeth and her aunt and uncle would rather stay at Pemberley instead of the inn.
"There is plenty of room," I added.
"If your sister is to stay there, you should be there too," Georgiana added.
"That is kind of you," Elizabeth told her. "However, my aunt and uncle and I are on a schedule. We enjoy it here. Though, I saw Pemberley yesterday, and I have to say that it was the most beautiful place that I have ever seen."
"I am so glad you liked it," Georgiana said sincerely. After a half hour, we all went to Pemberley.
When I saw the extensive grounds, I sighed with contentment and remembered back to my childhood when Aunt and Uncle Darcy were alive. It also brought me bad memories of George Wickham. That dratted man was in my thoughts a lot, too, though it was more because I was afraid of what he would try to do to me. I know he hated me with a passion due to our past... dealings with one another.
My cousin had worried me when he said that Wickham would not try to harm me. I was afraid he would. Obviously, as Mr. Hillsborough was no longer looking after me, I was more vulnerable. George Wickham had never liked me, for obvious reasons. I had always looked past his charm and seen his devious side, and he knew it. He wanted revenge on my cousin for spoiling the elopement, and I was sure that he would exact his revenge on William by using me. I only hoped I was wrong.
Chapter 23 Posted on Tuesday, 18 February 2003
The next day, William invited the gentlemen to fish in his trout stream. While the gentlemen were thus occupied, Elizabeth and Mrs. Gardiner called on us.
I was a little apprehensive for Elizabeth to be in the same room with Miss Bingley, but with Jane and Georgiana here, I had confidence that she would not try to be too uncivil.
We sat in the saloon, whose northern aspect rendered it delightful for summer. The windows opening to the ground admitted a most refreshing view of the high woody hills behind the house, and of the beautiful oaks and Spanish chestnuts which were scattered over the immediate lawn.
Jane and Elizabeth had a lot to talk about, but not wanting to be rude, they kept us in the conversation too. Not having any sisters, I loved to see the interaction between them. Even with dear Georgiana to talk with growing up, I saw her certain times of the year, and she was still very shy.
While we were all talking, Miss Bingley stared at the wall, bored. I couldn't help but share a look with Elizabeth one time, nodding in Miss Bingley's direction. Elizabeth smirked, though when Miss Bingley looked over, Elizabeth offered her a slight smile.
After a while, several servants entered the room and brought cold meats, cakes, and various fruits. Mrs. Hurst and Miss Bingley ate silently and then started talking between themselves. I popped a grape into my mouth and settled down next to Georgiana on the sofa.
Georgiana, the dear, was still shy, and Elizabeth and I tried to prod her out of her shyness. If Elizabeth could influence Georgiana even where I could not, William would love her even more.
When there was a slight lull in the conversation, Elizabeth turned to Jane again. "Jane, how is your marriage?" Jane grinned in delight.
"Oh, Lizzy, he is everything I have ever dreamed of in a husband! Charles is so thoughtful and loving..." Jane sighed.
I had just put a grape into my mouth when Jane began describing her love of her husband, and I couldn't help but think of the carriage ride to Derbyshire. Unfortunately, since I was thinking too hard, I tried to swallow without chewing, and the grape became caught in my throat. After coughing for several seconds, with Georgie hitting my back, I finally swallowed the grape.
"Are you well, Emily?" Elizabeth asked, concerned. I blinked a few times.
"I am fine," I whispered, my throat a little sore. Georgiana leaned closer to me.
"What happened?" she asked.
"I choked, Georgie," I told her, embarrassed about the whole thing. I wasn't going to tell her that I was remembering the carriage ride (mainly Charles and Jane's words) and how it had made me ill. I was still sore about my own love life, and here I had to listen to Jane talk about the wonderful qualities of her Mr. Bingley.
Georgiana still looked worried, but she turned back to Elizabeth, Jane, and Mrs. Gardiner. (Mrs. Annesley was also here, but she was sitting quietly to herself, listening to us.)
I put down the rest of the offending grapes, not wanting to choke again, and noticed that Miss Bingley had picked up a peach and was about to eat it. I suddenly had a nasty thought pop into my head.
"Miss Bingley, I did not know you ate peaches," I told her in mock surprise. Miss Bingley's mouth twisted into puzzlement.
"I have always enjoyed them, Lady Fitzwilliam. The upper classes have always eaten a variety of foods," she said coolly. I snickered and then tried to cover it up.
"Every savage can eat peaches, Miss Bingley," I replied. Miss Bingley gave a little gasp. I saw out of the corner of my eye that Elizabeth was trying not to laugh at her sister-in-law. "I must confess that I thought you would like oranges better," I continued. Miss Bingley wasn't amused by my joke. Her eyes narrowed in anger, and then a self-satisfied smirk appeared out of nowhere.
"I enjoy eating many fruits," she said before taking a bite out of her peach.
"'I enjoy eating many fruits,'" I repeated in a snooty voice below my breath. I was mimicking Miss Bingley, and Georgiana heard and started giggling.
"Tell me about your home, Mrs. Bingley," Georgiana prodded her after gaining control of herself once again. "Are you and Mr. Bingley going to live at Netherfield for a long duration?"
"Call me Jane, please," Jane insisted. "Charles and I have not yet decided what we will do with Netherfield, though we would like to settle elsewhere. Charles is quite taken with this area, in fact."
"Oh! I would love for you to live near Pemberley," Georgiana said excitedly. "My brother and I can become very isolated at Pemberley at times, but with friends close by, I shall be content!"
"You would not want to be near your parents?" I asked Jane. Jane looked embarrassed and Elizabeth answered for her.
"Emily, have you not met our mother? She can be very..." Elizabeth was searching for just the right word.
"Trying," Jane blurted. Then she blushed. "Forgive me for saying this, but Mama is very trying at times," Jane finally admitted.
"I understand," I said sympathetically. "My mother can be very trying sometimes too."
"Aunt Matlock is the ideal mother," Georgiana countered. She quieted after that, thinking of her own mother no doubt. I was about to say something else when the gentlemen entered into the room.
It wasn't my imagination when I saw Elizabeth flush as William entered. His eyes immediately sought her own, and I could see an emotional current run between them. There was such a tension between the two, that I felt as if I were intruding on a private moment.
Wanting to lighten the moment, I asked, "Did you enjoy your... sport?" I was not quite sure what to call it.
"It was very strange," Mr. Bingley admitted, sitting down next to Jane as she made room for him. "All the fish were attracted to Darcy's line."
"Not all of them, Bingley," William returned. "Mr. Gardiner had some good catches of his own."
Mrs. Gardiner gave Elizabeth another one of her smiles, a knowing smile about William.
Georgiana and Elizabeth began talking quietly amongst themselves as William watched them from where he sat.
Soon, many small conversations had begun, though I amused myself by watching and listening to everyone else. Miss Bingley, wishing to be heard again, suddenly spoke when all was quiet for a moment.
"Pray, Miss Eliza, are not the soldiers removed from Meryton? They must be a great loss to your family." Everyone looked up at Miss Bingley. I sat stiffly in my seat, waiting for Elizabeth's answer.
"I assure you that we are not in the least affected," Elizabeth said awkwardly.
"I thought your family enjoyed the company of a certain Mr. Wickham..." Georgiana paled, and William's jaw clenched in anger. I fought the urge to go over and stuff that feather down Miss Bingley's throat. Of course, I also heard in my head my mother's quiet voice, "Emily Anne, proper ladies do not resort to violence..." However, my mother had never met Miss Bingley, who was not even a proper lady.
Elizabeth, being sensitive of Georgiana, ignored Miss Bingley. She immediately began a conversation with Georgiana, and I saw Georgie laugh a little. William's chest was heaving up and down, and I could tell that he was not happy about Miss Bingley at all.
Jane, knowing what she did about Wickham, glanced at her husband. He shook his head grimly. I knew that if even Mr. Bingley became upset, even with his own sister, it had to be very bad.
A few minutes later, a calmer Georgiana asked Elizabeth to play the pianoforte for us. She sang wonderfully, and when I glanced over to William, I saw William's look become tender as he watched Elizabeth, and then her eyes met his. I again felt like I was intruding on a private moment. Elizabeth gave the pianoforte over to Georgiana, who played a little, and then Georgiana insisted that I play.
"I do not feel like playing today," I told Georgiana.
"Please?" Georgie begged me. "You play very well, Emily." When I again hesitated, though was almost convinced to play, Georgie tugged on my hand and made me stand. "I will not have you moping like my brother," she said, only loud enough for Jane and Charles Bingley to hear.
"Can you not have pity on me, Georgie? I do not feel up to playing. I have no one to play for," I mumbled.
"Nonsense," Georgiana said sternly. "You have your family." She walked me over to the pianoforte. "Not only do you have three wonderful brothers who love you dearly, you have two cousins who would not let any harm come to you. You have a third cousin who would enjoy your company if she were not around her mother. And soon," she said, lowering her voice even more, "if Fitzwilliam and Miss Bennet act on their feelings, we shall have not only Miss Elizabeth, but Mr. and Mrs. Bingley as our family. You see, Cousin, you are loved by many."
"I do not doubt that I am loved by my family." I paused, trying to find the right words that would have nothing to do with reminding her of Wickham. "I want my own family. Not only would I have all of you around me, but I want a husband and children. I want a specific husband with specific children," I told her. "He is gone, Georgie, and I have no feelings left. I could not do justice to that instrument right now. My heart would not be in it." Georgiana noticed that I was on the verge of tears again.
"Emily, I may be naïve in the ways of the world," she began softly, "but if your hopes do not come true, then you have to get on with your life. You have plenty of feelings--put them into your playing. You play beautifully. Will you not reconsider?" Her prodding worked. I hugged her and then sat down at the pianoforte.
"Everyone," Georgiana said, less timid than she had been before. "Lady Fitzwilliam--or Emily to all of us here--is going to play for us." I began to play a deep, delicate piece with much feeling put into it. I had forgotten the musician (maybe Bach), but the piece came from memory. I was taken over by my deep emotions--my love and despair--and it flowed through to my fingers. I closed my eyes, not needing the music sheets, and I let my fingers play.
As I played, I remembered back to the many things Mr. Hillsborough had said to me that had made me glow inside--the words that had been said with charm, but those that he had really meant.
I also remembered back to the ball last November, when I had been upset that Elizabeth believed Wickham's lie that William and I were engaged. Mr. Hillsborough had said he was glad it was not so. If he did not think we were engaged then, why would he think so now?
I shook all my memories from my head, and the piece was finished. Georgie clapped for me, her smile big.
"I told you that you could play, Cousin."
"You were right, Georgie," I replied. We both sat down again on the sofa, and Miss Bingley took her turn at the pianoforte.
"Elizabeth," Mr. Bingley said to her. Elizabeth had told Mr. Bingley to be informal with her as they were brother and sister now.
"Yes, Charles?" Elizabeth asked.
"After you finish your trip with Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner, why do you not join us when we return to London? We will be there only a month, but Jane wanted to go to an opera or a play. Would you like to come?"
"Of course, if I am not intruding," she quickly added.
"Of course not," Jane insisted. She and Mr. Bingley sat very close on the sofa, his arm around her.
"I will come, if Papa does not need me at home," Elizabeth added. There was a slight pause in the conversation, and I decided to speak.
"Did Charlotte tell you that she is to wed?" I asked Elizabeth.
"I believe she mentioned something about it. I must give congratulations to your brother. You will have a wonderful new sister."
"Someday, she might be related to you too by marriage," I teased. Elizabeth blushed and I laughed. "The wedding is some time in the fall. Everyone is invited." Mrs. Hurst's look of disgust was evident, and she sent me a superior look.
Out of nowhere, it seemed, Mrs. Hurst looked around the room and said, "Whatever happened to that man we met at Netherfield? Mr. Hillsborough, was it? I thought Lady Fitzwilliam had taken quite a fancy to him."
If I had been holding a cup of tea, it would have crashed to the floor, I was so rattled. William looked furious, but Jane was the one to come to my rescue.
"I am sure he is busy during this time of the season. Pray, tell me more of your brothers. I have not heard much about them," she continued in her sweet voice. I gave Jane a look of gratitude.
Soon, Elizabeth and the Gardiners wanted to return to the inn. Elizabeth seemed impressed with William's new manners, and she was very much taken with him, I could see. She fairly glowed when she and her aunt and uncle said goodnight. They promised to return the next night to dine with us. William's eyes were solely fixated on Elizabeth as she and her aunt and uncle left the grounds of Pemberley, and I smiled to myself.
As soon as Jane and Mr. Bingley excused themselves, and Georgiana had left to talk with Mrs. Reynolds, Miss Bingley began talking about Elizabeth again.
"How ill Eliza Bennet looks this morning, Mr. Darcy," she cried. "I never in my life saw anyone so much altered since the winter. She is grown so brown and coarse! Louisa and I were agreeing that we should not have known her again."
Since I was still mad at Mrs. Hurst for making her comment about Mr. Hillsborough, and mad at Miss Bingley for making that comment about Wickham, I was dangerously close to lashing out at them. It took a lot of my will power to restrain myself.
William replied coolly, "I saw no alteration in her. She was rather tan, I suppose, but it is not uncommon for traveling in the summer."
Miss Bingley should not have continued, but she was pushing my cousin to respond.
"For my own part, I must confess that I never saw any beauty in her. Her face is too thin; her complexion has no brilliancy; and her features are not at all handsome. Her teeth are tolerable, I suppose; and as for her eyes, which have sometimes been called fine, I never could perceive anything extraordinary in them."
After Miss Bingley's diatribe, I saw William's jaw clinch once again. He stared straight ahead, silent still.
Miss Bingley wanted him to talk, and so she pushed him further.
"I remember when we first knew her in Hertfordshire how amazed we all were to find that she was a reputed beauty; and I particularly remember you saying one night, 'If she's a beauty, I would rather remain a bachelor'. But afterwards she seemed to improve on you, and I believe you thought her rather pretty at one time."
I saw that Miss Bingley had gone too far. My cousin stood, calm as he could be, and said, "Yes, but that was only when I first knew her, for it is many months since I have considered her one of the handsomest women of my acquaintance." Miss Bingley's eyes went wide with shock.
William, having all he could take of her, excused himself.
"Well, I never," Miss Bingley muttered. "Did you hear that, Louisa?"
I had enough of her whining. "Miss Bingley, if you want to return to Pemberley in the future, relation to my cousin or not, it would be wise to sit with your mouth firmly closed. I am tired of your hostile attitude towards everyone but people like you. You are haughty, prideful, and I am sorry to say--you have no reason to be so. Elizabeth Bennet is worth ten of you, and until your attitude changes, I cannot see how you will ever marry." My eyes flashed with anger, and I found I could not stay in her presence any longer either.
Later that night, before I was to go to bed, I found myself sorry I had even said anything to her, but it was done, and I could not take back what I had said.
I was about to climb into my bed when I heard a knock on my door. I opened it to find Georgiana.
"Georgie? What is wrong?"
"I went back to the saloon and heard all that you said to Miss Bingley. She was horrible to Miss Elizabeth, and Mrs. Hurst even made you upset. I am glad you put her in her place."
"I fear all I did was put another barrier between us. Mr. Bingley is too good to have a sister like her."
"I wish to have Miss Elizabeth as my sister."
"You already said that today, Georgie," I said with a slight smile.
"Yes, but I think Fitzwilliam is serious again. I found him pacing in his study earlier today."
"When he paces, he is thinking," I told her.
"Do you think he will propose to her soon?"
"We shall see, Georgie. If I have learned anything from my horrible matchmaking--remind me Georgie, to write to Emma Knightley... Where was I? Oh, yes... If I have learned anything, then I can safely say that I can assume nothing. I shall wait for William to propose, but if he does not, I am not going to push him to do so."
"You are right, Emily. Goodnight." Georgie left out the door as I called goodnight to her. I lay in bed thinking of everything that happened today, and suddenly, I shivered. It was as if I had a premonition that something bad was going to happen soon. I did not sleep well that night.
Chapter 24 Posted on Saturday, 1 March 2003
I woke up the next morning needing to unleash all the energy that was in me. Miss Bingley and her sister were bothering me, and I was fretting unduly of the situation with William and Elizabeth. I rose even before William, which was a rarity for me, and bounded down to the breakfast room. Not feeling particularly hungry, I only stopped for a moment and was about to leave the room when Mrs. Reynolds appeared.
"Mistress Emily, where are you going out so early in the morning?" Mrs. Reynolds, faithful Pemberley housekeeper, always loved the parental role to her loving masters and mistresses (which included William and Georgie and my family).
"I am going to ride my horse. It is light enough outside to see, and I shall return soon enough."
"I can see it will not do me any good to argue," Mrs. Reynolds sighed. "Please take care." The worry in her voice surprised me since Pemberley was not usually a dangerous place to ride. In fact, William had given me my own horse since I loved to ride so much and had given me free reign with him. Feeling as if this were a strange omen, I gave Mrs. Reynolds a kiss on the cheek.
"Thank you, Mrs. Reynolds. You need not worry for my safety. I am sure all will be fine. Brannon and I are wonderful together." Brannon was my horse. Mrs. Reynolds frowned, but she said nothing else and went about her duties.
I promptly made my way down to the Pemberley stables and saw Mr. Morgan grooming William's horse. When he heard a noise, he looked up.
"Lady Fitzwilliam, Ma'am," he said with a bow.
"Good morning, Mr. Morgan. I have a need to ride Brannon today. Is he ready for me?"
"Yes, Ma'am," he said, leaving William's horse and finding mine. When Brannon saw me, he immediately snorted and whinnied. I laughingly nuzzled his face.
"I missed you too, boy," I murmured. I climbed up onto Brannon and gave Mr. Morgan a smile and a nod of my head. I rode all across the beautiful lands of Pemberley that morning, feeling free and happy for the first time in months. I forgot about all my worries as I rode.
I had been riding a half hour when I felt the strange sensation of being watched again. That in itself was ridiculous. Who would be watching me? I began to feel uncomfortable, hoping one of William's servants had not become mentally unstable suddenly and was apt to follow innocent young ladies who think they can take care of themselves. I turned Brannon around but saw nothing.
"Is anyone there?" I finally asked, darting my eyes back and forth along the landscape. Brannon's ears pricked up after hearing something, and I looked around again, making sure I was all-alone. "I am being ridiculous," I told myself. "Surely I am not being watched." Unfortunately, I was so far away from Pemberley that no one could hear me if I suddenly needed help. I had even forgotten how far I had ridden.
I noticed with sudden clarity that the bright blue sky that was above just a few minutes ago was now turning a deep shade of gray, a known warning that bad weather would soon be here. I hoped it would not become dark.
"I think it is time to go back to Pemberley," I murmured. I jumped when a sudden clap of thunder came out of nowhere. Even Brannon did not like the looks of the weather as he tended to spook easily during these storms. I groaned as I realized that I had ridden so far that I was a tad bit lost; I had forgotten how vast William's land really was.
"Oh, which way is home?" I fretted. I spotted a path a few hundred yards away and rode there. Not a minute later, I heard hoof beats. I turned my body and saw something that made my skin crawl and my face pale considerably: George Wickham. He was dressed in his uniform and had a smug look on his face.
"Well, if it isn't Lady Emily Fitzwilliam. My Lady, how have you been?" he mocked me.
"George Wickham! What are you doing at Pemberley?" I asked, trying not to panic.
"I missed my favorite lady," he said with that sly smile of his.
"How did you know where I was?" The man looked exasperated.
"You really are a bit dull sometimes, my Lady. I happened to arrive in Lambton and heard that the family was in town. I really couldn't resist, knowing my childhood friends were here," he said sarcastically. "I arrived just as you left on your horse." I knew that he didn't just come to Derbyshire on a whim. He had to have contemplated doing this for a while.
"And you followed me."
"As you see," he said dryly. "You really are a bit difficult to keep up with though... and a good horsewoman. I like my women tough," he said, his voice sending chills down my spine.
"What is it you want, Wickham? You have been given plenty by my cousin. You deserved nothing, but my uncle was generous..."
"Enough," Wickham snapped. "I have come to give Darcy his just reward. Darcy and your brother..." Wickham's eyes narrowed. "Colonel Fitzwilliam," he spat out.
"What has my brother done to you?" I started slowly backing my horse away so I could surprise him and gallop home, but he anticipated me and his horse came closer to mine. He did have sharp eyes.
"Your brother knew everything that had taken place between Georgiana and myself last summer. He arrived after we were found. Darcy must have sent for him," Wickham said angrily. "He threatened my position as an officer, and he warned me not to harm any of his kin."
"Richard knew? He said not a word, and I didn't know until I arrived at Pemberley with Matt." I realized with a sudden dread that Wickham wanted more with me than a chat over tea. He wanted something from William or my family, and I was to be his means of getting it. As if reading my thoughts, Wickham grinned his charming grin.
"My brothers and cousin--and my father--will not let you get away with this, Wickham. They will come after you." I tried to threaten him.
"I am not afraid of them," he scoffed.
"You took advantage of Georgiana, and you made my cousin very mad. What makes you think that he will give you more money this time?"
"Took advantage of Miss Darcy?" Here he said a few choice words that a lady should never hear. "Your cousin ruined my plan!" he said, referring to William. "I would have had her £30,000 had not her brother intervened," he growled.
"I am glad that he intervened. You are a monster!" I shouted at him. I heard more thunder boom in the distance and jumped on the horse. Wickham's eyes lit.
"Why elope with Georgiana Darcy when I can kidnap the Earl's daughter?" Wickham said suddenly, and I gasped. I was about to take off on the horse, when I saw Wickham pull something out of his uniform. "You are not going anywhere, Emily," he said, making my Christian name sound horrible in my own ears. I began to tremble when I saw that in his hands he held a pistol.
"Let me go, Wickham. You don't want me," I said, trying to find a way out of this situation.
"No, my Lady, I don't want you; I want money. The money of an Earl, to be exact. When I kidnap you, I will demand a high ransom. Is it not a wonderful plan?"
"Kidnapping is not exactly legal," I snarled at him.
"It matters not to me," he said calmly. "I will have what I want ... Lady Emily."
"I would die before I would go anywhere with you!" I cried, wanting to escape, but knowing him, he would use the pistol on me. There was a certain glint in his eye that scared me. He had truly gone mad.
His face became serious. He began to come towards me, but before he could go further, we heard a rustling sound nearby. The wind had picked up, but this was not the sound of trees blowing in the wind. Wickham heard it too. He decided to act quickly and rode at me to take me on his horse when he heard a sound behind him. Turning, he looked up and saw... Mr. Hillsborough! What was he doing in Derbyshire? Why was he at Pemberley and how did he know I was here? There were too many questions to answer.
Wickham reigned his horse in and stopped a few feet from me. Both men eyed one another, and then Wickham, thinking he had the advantage, resumed his goal of taking me away onto his horse. Mr. Hillsborough was quick, though, and he was closing in on Wickham. I saw as Wickham adjusted at the right moment and pulled his horse out of the way of Mr. Hillsborough's horse.
"Mr. Hillsborough!" I cried as I felt a drop of rain on my arm. "Where have you been? Why are you not with your wife?" It really wasn't the time to ask these questions, but my curiosity was strong.
"I am not married," he shouted over the wind, now picking up in force. "I knew that you and Darcy were not engaged."
"How did you discover it?" I asked. I was not given an answer. Wickham had enough of our small talk and so, he, once again, came for me, but suddenly, with a quickness, Mr. Hillsborough was upon Wickham and they were wrestling for the pistol. I was paralyzed with fear, my heart beating fast and erratically in my chest. The wind was blowing hard, the rain about to pour down when I heard a gunshot.
"Nathan!" I screamed out in anguish. As the shot rang out, my horse became spooked and I saw in fear not only as both men fell down to the ground, but as my horse started running away.
I held on to the horse, but it was an impossible feat, especially sidesaddle. I felt my grip loosen and then I took a very hard fall, my head hitting something hard. I remember a burst of pain and then total darkness.
Chapter 25
Posted On: Friday, 7 March 2003, at 2:41 a.m.
"Emily? My love? Please wake for me," I heard a voice urge me. I smiled because I thought I was dreaming again. Then my head exploded in pain and I felt the rain pouring down on me, telling me that I was indeed awake.
"My head hurts," I gasped out. I managed to barely lift open my eye-lids, and when I did, I saw a dream-like apparition. "Nathan? I am not dreaming?" Nathan's anxious face beamed when I said his Christian name.
"I am here, Lady... Emily. This is no dream." My eyes managed to focus on the handsome face above me. A very soggy Nathan Hillsborough appeared more clearly. His shirt and breeches were soaked through from the rain, and his straight hair became curly once wet. Where the rest of his clothing had gone, I was not going to speculate. Hmmm... I refocused and spoke again.
"You are here. And it is raining," I said, putting my hand up to rub my forehead. I eventually noticed that Nathan held me in one arm gingerly. The blissful sensation of being held was tempered by the pain I felt in my head.
"We have no time; I must get you back to Pemberley. Wickham is knocked out, but he is not dead. The gun shot just grazed him, unfortunately," he mumbled, shifting me in his arm. I saw that his right arm hung precariously to his side.
"What happened to your arm?" I managed to ask, the pounding in my head worsening when I moved it.
"When I fell off my horse, I fell on my arm. It is not broken; however, I do not think that I can move it very well. I am not sure how to get you back to Pemberley unless you get on my horse and I walk you back."
"Where did Brannon go?" I asked, slowly sitting up.
"He has run away. I found my horse underneath a tree near where we lay. Oh, Emily, are you all right? I have been miserable for months thinking that you were taken, and now to come back and have Wickham harm you..." He gently tucked a part of my long wet hair behind my ear with his good arm (my bonnet having fallen off near where I lay and my hair fallen out of its hold).
"You saved my life, sir. I am forever in your debt." I glanced up at him, tears in my eyes. His hand gently rubbed the spot on my head where I had fallen, and I winced in pain.
"My love," he whispered, his face in agony over my pain. I thrilled at his words and wished him to continue, but I had many questions that I needed answered.
"Why did you come back? I thought you were to marry your cousin. You said that you were betrothed." Nathan hugged me to his chest tightly.
"Emily... Darcy spoke to me in London just after I left the Darcy townhouse." I gasped and then Nathan continued, "He overheard the last part of our conversation and the next day went after me. Darcy was telling me that you were not betrothed to him when a letter arrived stating that Sarah had become very ill. She had, unbeknownst to me, a fiancé, and he wrote the letter to me. I had to leave immediately and see to her. She is feeling better now, though still weak." Nathan stopped and gazed at me lovingly. "I was betrothed to my cousin as Darcy is to Anne de Bourgh... It was not formal, but it does not signify anyway; I received the news that Caroline married this summer."
"Caroline?" I gave him a puzzled look.
"A distant cousin," he said absentmindedly. "Emily, I confess that I was driven mad thinking you were heartbroken... if you were," he added.
"I was," I admitted. I continued talking, but I closed my eyes again. "You have never spoken of your parents. Where are they?" I knew that we should go back to Pemberley, but it was as if neither of us had the energy to move.
"Like Darcy," he said lowly, "my parents have both died. Sarah and I were at my uncle's home when they caught a disease that ravaged them to death." His eyes showed the pain that William and Georgiana sometimes displayed when recollecting their parents.
"I am truly sorry," I told him, and suddenly lay back heavily into his good arm.
"Emily? Are you feeling worse? I have to get you back now..." He was strong enough to get off the ground with me still in his good arm. I had just enough energy to lean against him, but that was all.
"I have one more question," I whispered against his chest, my eyes still shut, while Nathan leaned in just to hear me. His ear was very close to my mouth. "How did you know I was here?"
"When I was at Netherfield, Darcy and your brother wanted me to follow you wherever you went. Darcy knew my feelings were becoming as strong for you as his own were for Miss Bennet, and he and Matthew wanted me to protect you when they were not there. So, I followed you many places." He sighed.
"What is wrong?" I said so softly that he almost couldn't hear me.
"I confess I have been at Pemberley for a day. I saw you playing the pianoforte beautifully yesterday, and I wanted to take you in my arms. I could not sleep knowing we were in the same house again, and so I was awake when I saw you at the stables. I noticed Wickham was following you and knew I had to get to you before he did you harm." He stopped, noticing my breathing was becoming a little labored. "My darling Emily, I love you. Please do not become ill," he said while walking me over to his horse.
"Nathan," I said, turning to him slowly. "I love you." Nathan had to lean in again to hear the words, but when he did, he hugged me with his good arm, his face elated.
"I would kiss you if you weren't feeling ill," he murmured.
"It would cure my ache," I countered. Nathan shook his head in amusement. He turned serious suddenly.
"I know I should wait until you are well, but I can wait no longer. I love you, my Lady, and I always will." I felt my heart flutter at his words. "Will you be my--" My heart beat wildly, and I still clung fiercely to him. I was waiting in eager anticipation for him to continue when a voice rang out from nearby through the rain and wind.
"You thought I was gone, but I will teach you to get in the way of George Wickham!" Before Nathan or I could even move, Wickham swiftly hit Nathan over the head with the butt of his pistol. I cried out in surprise as Nathan fell to the ground silently, and I suddenly felt arms lift me up and carry me away.
"Leave me alone!" I cried, struggling weakly and in vain. "Nathan!" I tried to shout, but my voice carried away in the wind. All I heard was Wickham's laughter in reply. I had heard the words I had only dreamed about for months from my love--maybe a proposal--and now I was being taken away from him by this... beast!
"You are mine, my Lady," Wickham said angrily, his humor gone. "I was knocked out, but not enough for you to escape." It had been a quarter hour since I had been awakened after my fall, and having no more energy, my headache again in full force, I closed my eyes, surrendering to George Wickham as he put me on his horse.