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Elizabeth knew in her mind that Will would inevitably be best man while she was maid of honor, but it hadn't really dawned on her what this actually meant. She conveniently forgot every time it passed through her thinking. Jane wasn't one to remind her, hoping that if she put it off long enough, Elizabeth wouldn't back out of coming altogether. Jane and Charles had high hopes for their wedding to be the point of reconciliation.
The time drew near for Elizabeth to join Jane in America. She left a week before the wedding, intending to help her friend through the difficult time before the wedding as well as attend the festivities. John would fly in the night before the wedding.
Jane met Elizabeth at the airport and they hugged each other tightly.
"Thank you so much for being here with me," Jane whispered as they embraced.
Elizabeth laughed shakily and replied, "Of course I'd be here for you."
"Well I was afraid you'd back out so many times!"
"Why would I back out?" asked Elizabeth.
Jane looked at her friend, and thought either she wasn't as worried about meeting Will as Jane had expected she'd be or she hadn't really thought about it yet. Jane suspected the latter so she just said, "Oh, well, you know with your busy schedule and the travel..."
"I'm hurt that you would think that would stand in the way, Jane!" cried Elizabeth.
"No matter. You're here and that's all that counts."
"Are you still living with Charles?"
Jane froze. She knew she'd forgotten something important. Slowly, she turned to Elizabeth with a face turned white.
"What's the matter?"
Jane cleared her throat nervously, and answered, "I-I've been living at Will's place."
"What?" Elizabeth wasn't sure she understood correctly.
"Will kindly offered his house in Chestnut Street until Charles and I got married. He hasn't been back to the house in Boston since you left, really, so I didn't worry too much about imposing on him. I completely forgot that you would be with me, too. I won't be hurt if you want to stay in a hotel somewhere else, you know."
Elizabeth couldn't answer for a minute. She just turned back to walking towards the baggage claim. Jane tagged along behind, waiting for her reply.
After Elizabeth had her bag, she said to Jane, "I can handle living in Will's house for a week. I can't afford a hotel for that long and I can't think of any other arrangement that could work...."
"Will won't be there."
"Still, Jane, it's the memories that will haunt me. Come on. Let's go and get it over with."
Jane trotted after her retreating figure. "Liz, I'm really sorry I didn't think about it. I've been there for over three months and just forgot to mention it to you," she lied.
"It's okay, really Jane. I'm not coming all the way over here just to ruin your wedding day. Don't worry about me this entire time, all right? I can take care of myself and you have more than enough things to worry about."
"I'll try. God knows I have enough to worry about!"
Jane was leading them to the parking lot. Elizabeth gave her friend an odd look, and said, "Have you got a car, now?"
Jane stopped short again and with a fearful look at Elizabeth said in a small voice, "Will lent one of his cars to me, too."
Elizabeth sighed and started walking again. Jane caught up and said, "He said he wasn't using it and you know how it's bad for cars to sit still for long periods of time so he asked me to drive it as a favor, Liz. I couldn't deny him anything after..."
"You might as well say it," Elizabeth said, bitterly.
They got in Will's Lexus, Jane behind the wheel. Elizabeth couldn't help but think about the number of times she'd been in it with him, starting from the first ride she'd had in it when they were going sailing. It didn't bring back the memories of driving with Colonel Fitzwilliam.
Jane drove through the city to the house on Chestnut Street. Elizabeth felt a painful pang as she recognized the brick pavement and gas lamps. Jane pulled into the garage, and turned off the car. They got out, and she led her friend into the house.
Elizabeth was steeling herself for a tour of torment around the house. She recognized the place as soon as she was inside. Jane hadn't changed a thing, and neither had Will it would seem, since the last time she had come.
Jane led her upstairs and opened the door to her room. Elizabeth stopped short when she realized it was the room she had stayed in when she was sick.
"Jane, no. I-I can't stay here. Don't you have another room?"
Jane looked at her oddly. "Well, I guess you can have Will's room-"
"Jane! Not Will's room."
"Then, unless you want to sleep on the couch through your visit, no, there isn't another room. I'm staying in the last room."
Elizabeth sorely wanted to ask her to trade, but realized how weak and selfish it would seem. She resigned herself to staying in this room. She walked in and put her bag down in the corner. She sadly walked to the bed and stroked her hand over the quilted cover. She could remember her time here vividly. Will had been so caring and attentive to her needs. She could almost taste the insufferable grape Gatorade.
She walked out of the room with a sympathetic Jane. Little could Jane imagine what anguish Elizabeth was suffering.
They went into the kitchen and Jane offered Elizabeth a meal. Elizabeth gladly accepted, having not eaten well on the plane. They sat down to an informal meal at the counter and discussed the events of the wedding and what would need to be done that week.
"You have met Charles' sisters, haven't you?" asked Elizabeth.
"Yes, I did. They're ..."
"Elegant?"
"Pleasant."
"Now that's a word I wouldn't have used to describe them! Caroline was down right evil to me."
"I think Will's apparent attraction to you had a lot to do with it. You must have seen how Caroline was determined to catch him."
Elizabeth gave an unladylike snort.
"You were a serious rival to her carefully laid out plans."
"If I'd accepted Will, she'd have failed miserably."
"What do you mean, 'accepted'?" asked Jane. "I didn't know he'd proposed to you!"
"No! Will never went farther than saying he loved me. I didn't mean it to sound like that. I meant, if I had accepted Will's love."
"Oh."
"Anyway, how did you find Mrs. Hurst?"
"They were both friendly to me."
"They didn't have much choice in the matter. Charles had long ago decided you were the one, and he wasn't letting anyone dissuade him, especially two catty sisters who only wanted him to marry well so they could rise on the social ladder."
"Lizzy, don't be so harsh on them. Charles' sisters would naturally have a concern over who he married, so I'm sure that it may have seemed that way to you. Anyway, I think it'll be nice to have siblings, even if they are in-laws."
Elizabeth was sure she would rather have no siblings than Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst.
"When is John coming?"
"He's arriving the night before the wedding. If you have a full house, John can sleep with me."
"Really?" said Jane, her eyebrows raised.
"Come on, Jane. He's slept in my bed many times before. I've told you!"
"You said he came over to spend the night a lot to make you get some sleep, but I always thought he was on the couch or sleeping on the boat or another room."
"You know me, Jane. The only way he could get me to sleep was to physically put me into bed and sleep beside me. At first, I would try and get up after he had gone to sleep, but he always woke up before I was out of the bed. There was never anything sexual between us. He was never attracted to me, and while I think he's very handsome, I was just never tempted."
"Wow. That's kind of something!"
"It's just like having a girl friend. You can do anything around each other and there's never any question. It's like living with you."
"Thanks, I think. But does Will have anything to do with why you're not attracted to John?"
"I don't think so, Jane. But I've never sat down and analyzed all my feelings for my male acquaintances."
"Maybe you should."
"I'm not about to start now."
"Hmm, well, you must have jet lag, so why don't you go on up to bed. I'll call Charles and tell him you arrived safely."
"Are you sure you don't want me to help clean up?"
"I'm sure, Elizabeth. You're going to have to get into that bed sometime. Might as well face it sooner than later."
Elizabeth sighed, thinking Jane knew her too well.
She climbed the stairs slowly, looking about her at Will's house. It really hadn't changed in two years. Before she went to her bedroom, she paused to look in the living room. She remembered spending many pleasant evenings watching movies with Will. She wondered how he could have been around her so much and she never realized what he felt about her. Maybe it was obvious to other people but not to her. She hadn't wanted to see it. She had paid a high price for that innocence. Why had he told her if he wasn't sure of her feelings? Or had she shown more than she felt? Had he taken all those evenings and time spent together as an indication of her growing affection? Affection she had had, but not love. Or maybe he had felt it dishonest to keep a secret like that from her. Maybe he had hoped to make her love him, but she had never given him the chance. She'd never worried about how much she hurt him until her last visit to Boston. She had altered him, possibly forever. Why hadn't he just found someone else? What would she have felt if he had moved on and replaced her? She had replaced him, hadn't she? With John? To her he wasn't a replacement, but to him it would definitely seem that way.
Elizabeth sighed. It was all too complicated. She longed to see him and dreaded it at the same time. She knew she would have to at the wedding.
She walked into her bedroom and unpacked her bag into the dresser and closet. She put on her pajamas and crawled into the soft bed. She lay back and thought about the other time she had been in this bed. Will had made the illness so much easier. She could almost say she enjoyed it for all the time they had spent together. It was different than the other times they had had, because it was inactive, pottering around the house. She had had a taste of what it would have been like to live together. Elizabeth sighed again, and snuggled up under the duvet.
Right before she went to sleep, she wished Will would wake her up again.
Elizabeth had been more exhausted than she realized. She slept straight through the night and was finally woken up by Jane opening the curtains and letting in the bright mid-morning sun.
"Elizabeth, wake up. Elizabeth, it's 9:30."
In confusion, Elizabeth opened her eyes expecting to see Will beside her, but instead saw no one. She turned on her side and saw Jane looking outside the window.
"Nice view," she said. "Come on. We've a lot to do today. We have to get your dress fitted and check to make sure the flowers will be ready and the visit the minister of the church and oh so many more things. So start getting up."
Elizabeth sank back onto the bed and suppressed the urge to cry. She had so wanted Will to be there. If she accomplished nothing else this visit, she had to get Will's friendship back.
After they had eaten breakfast, the two girls went to the bridal gown shop to have Elizabeth fitted for her bridesmaid's gown. It was a pale, iridescent blue gown, with an empire waist, spaghetti straps, and a floor length A-line skirt. The only adjustments needed were to the length. To go with the dress, she had silver, over the elbow length gloves.
Elizabeth begged Jane to let her see the wedding dress, but Jane refused, telling her to wait until the wedding day.
They continued on through the day, doing various errands and odd jobs that needed attending to. Finally, they shopped for all the groceries the house needed to feed Jane's family.
That night, they met Charles for dinner at a nice restaurant. Jane had been careful to choose one she knew Elizabeth hadn't been to before with Will. Elizabeth hugged Charles and asked, "How are you?"
Charles gave her the usual charming smile and said, "Never been better. And you?"
"Let's just say I survived."
"That bad, was it?" he said, concerned and sympathetic.
Elizabeth forced a smile and nodded. "But I had friends to see me through it. John was a tremendous support and you two were always ready to cheer me up."
"Where's your grandmother?"
"She's staying with her sister for the next couple of weeks."
"That's good. How is she after your grandfather's passing?"
"More subdued, I think, but not constantly morose and melancholy, which is the most I think one can ask of a couple who were married over fifty years."
Jane looked adoringly at Charles and said, "Do you think we'll still be together in fifty years?"
Charles kissed her and said, "As long as we're alive I think we will always be together."
Jane smiled. Elizabeth blushed and looked away, embarrassed at being witness to an intimate scene. She started to feel like a third wheel.
When the couple had looked away from each other, Elizabeth cleared her throat and said, "Who's coming from your side of the family, Charles?"
"My sisters and Mr. Hurst will be there as well as several aunts, uncles, and cousins. I have several old college buddies and some work mates, as well as other acquaintances. I'm just glad Will is there to see me through it," he said without thinking. Jane must have hit his leg, for he suddenly looked up, horrified. "I'm sorry, Liz, I didn't mean to..."
"Didn't mean to what? Mention his name in my hearing? Really, you two! I'm not that bad."
Charles still looked ashamed.
Jane said, "You're going to have to at least dance with him, you know."
"What?"
"The best man dances with the maid of honor."
"But-but I thought Mr. Hurst was going to be your best man. I mean he's your brother-in-law-"
Charles laughed, and said, "You expect me to pick an alcoholic brother-in-law over Will, my best friend?"
Elizabeth realized her gaff, but still feebly tried to argue her point. "Well, I didn't think you would want to slight your family..."
The arrival of the food rescued her from making more of an idiot of herself.
"Do I have to dance with him? I mean, you know how much I hate dancing."
"It's a tradition, Elizabeth. You have to dance with Will."
Elizabeth sighed in resignation.
The following day, Jane's family descended. She may not have had siblings, but she did have an awful lot of cousins, aunts, uncles, all four grandparents, and both her parents. Elizabeth gave up her bed for one set of grandparents, and slept on the floor of Jane's room while Jane shared a bed with one of her cousins. Elizabeth was spared the anguish of dwelling on Will any more by having to constantly keep an eye on the younger ones. She guarded Will's things like they were her own, putting the breakables out of reach and valuables out of sight.
Elizabeth cooked large meals at supper time, and often went shopping to buy more groceries. It was a relief to be kept so busy. She had to make sure Jane wasn't stressed out, while attending to both the family and Jane's wedding. There was never any time to worry about her own dilemmas.
The day before the wedding, there was the rehearsal and then the luncheon. Elizabeth was to stand in for Jane and Will for Charles. Elizabeth could see a potential for a very awkward situation.
However, that morning, Charles received a phone call from Will telling him he would be unable to make it. Charles' runner up, a cousin, stepped in his place at the rehearsal.
Elizabeth didn't know if she was relieved or sad. Finally, she decided she was relieved. She had wanted to see Will, but not in such a situation.
Will did show up for the luncheon afterwards. Elizabeth, who hadn't expected him to be there after his absence from the rehearsal, left the hall as soon as she spotted him.
Jane, who had seen her friend's hasty retreat, said, "Excuse me, everyone. I must visit the ladies' room."
She laid a hand on Charles' shoulder, calming his questioning look. Jane walked out of the hall in search of Elizabeth.
She found her in the first place she looked, the ladies' room. Elizabeth was leaning against the hall with a disturbed look on her face, her head tilted back. She stood straight as soon as she saw Jane standing there.
"What are you doing here?" Elizabeth asked.
"I saw you come in a minute ago."
"Oh."
"Why don't you come in now?"
"I-I can't, Jane. I just can't."
"Why not?" she asked, gently.
"I don't know. I just can't face him. Oh Jane."
Jane took Elizabeth into her arms. Elizabeth tried to hold back her tears and gratefully laid her head on Jane's shoulder. "I'm sorry," she said in a choked voice. "I'm supposed to be helping and supporting you, not vice versa."
"You've been the best help all week. I know this is hard for you. I wish there was some way to avoid it, but you can't keep putting it off forever, Elizabeth. You're both miserable without each other's company. I think it is high time for you two to at least start talking."
Elizabeth nodded, attempting to control her sob-like breathing. After another minute of Jane's comforting, Elizabeth pulled away and straightened herself in the mirror. She paused, and looked at her reflection.
Jane watched her. "You look so much more beautiful than when Will first sought your companionship. I doubt it is going to matter any more now than it did then."
Elizabeth sighed. Jane had once more read her mind.
They walked out of the restroom arm in arm. Jane whispered, "Caroline is in fine form today. You'd just love the orange dress she's wearing!"
This produced the desired affect- a smile and a light to Elizabeth's eyes. This is what Will first saw when the bride and the maid of honor entered the banquet hall. He stared at her for a few seconds and then quickly looked away, feigning indifference.
Elizabeth didn't see his stare for she determinedly avoided looking at him. Jane led her to the center table where the wedding party was to sit. Elizabeth gave Jane's hand a squeeze and then let go.
"Hello Charles. How are you holding up?" she asked, smiling.
"Well, thank you."
Elizabeth leaned down and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
"That's wonderful. I hope you don't find fault with my care of your bride!"
"Of course not."
"Good," she said, smugly.
Elizabeth sat down between Jane and one of her cousins. Jane leaned over and whispered, "Liz! Couldn't you have at least acknowledged Will's existence?!"
Elizabeth replied in a voice much less confident than before, "I chickened out. I can't now, anyway. I'll make it up to him later, I promise."
Jane leaned away with a last reproving look. Elizabeth turned to her other neighbor. "How are you, Catherine?"
"I'm fine, thank you. Are you all right? You do look pale, Lizzy."
"Oh, I'm okay, thank you. Is the food any good?"
"Yes, it is. But have you seen the best man?"
"Yes."
Catherine leaned forward and whispered, "Isn't he the most handsome man you have ever seen?"
Elizabeth had to agree.
"You are so lucky you get to be his partner. You get to dance with him and everything!"
"Well maybe he'll ask you to dance."
"Oh! Do you think so? I hope he does."
Elizabeth began to eat, though she could taste nothing, and didn't have much of an appetite. After she had finished, Elizabeth got up from the table to move around and talk to people she hadn't seen since before she left.
She was passing a table when she heard, "Why Miss Eliza!"
Elizabeth turned and recognized Caroline Bingley. "Hello, Miss Bingley, I haven't seen you in years." I wish it could stay that way she said to herself.
"I heard you ran away to England, is that right?"
"Yes, that is correct."
"Whatever could you find to occupy yourself there, I wonder."
"I am currently working for a different publishing company and writing some work of my own."
"You were fired from Derbyshire?!" she cried.
"No, Miss Bingley. I resigned. I wanted a change of scenery, so I quit my job there and moved to London."
"Oh, my mistake."
"How have you been?"
"Right as rain, here in Boston!"
"I thought by now some man would have claimed you."
Miss Bingley's mask of amiability faltered at this. "I'm holding out for someone really special. I don't need to marry for wealth or position."
"Of course." Two years away and you still couldn't catch a man? Tsk tsk. You'll be an old maid soon. Another voice said, So will you. "Do excuse me."
Elizabeth walked away and sat next to one of Jane's aunts. After conversing with the gossiping aunts' table, Elizabeth excused herself to walk back to the center table.
On the way, she caught Will leaving. Without thinking, she called out, "Will!"
He stopped and turned. Elizabeth felt pained by the surprised look on his face. Did he need to be surprised at her addressing him? Yes, she thought.
She caught up with him by the door. "You're not leaving yet, are you?"
"Yes, I was."
"Oh," she said.
They stood there in silence for a moment. Elizabeth noted how many eyes were turned toward them. She didn't feel equal to taking on this Hercules' task in public. Without daring to look into his face, she said, "C-could I walk out to your car with you?"
He didn't reply for moment. She kept her eyes on her twisting hands. Then he said, "All right."
He let her proceed him through the door. Elizabeth glanced back once and saw Jane giving her an encouraging smile.
They were silent as they walked through the corridors of the hotel to the exit. Elizabeth felt she would look foolish if they walked all the way out there and she still hadn't said anything so she took the first step.
"I wanted to thank you for your kindness to me... and my aunt and uncle when we intruded on Pemberley last year."
Once more, he was silent a moment before he said, "I could do no less."
Elizabeth wasn't sure she grasped the full meaning of that reply. Nevertheless, the first words had been spoken between them.
"Jane tells me you're living at Pemberley."
"Yes."
"It was kind of you to lend her your house in Beacon Hill."
"Jane is a close friend of mine, and you know I would do no less."
Again, there seemed to be a hidden meaning, and it hurt Elizabeth. She didn't think Will was doing this on purpose. He had every right to be resentful and hurt. She had treated him cruelly and it was up to her to mend the breach.
"Why weren't you at the rehearsal?" she asked.
"I didn't think I was capable of handling it."
Elizabeth was hurt even though she had felt very much the same way.
"I-I hope you won't be backing out of your other best man duties." Was she plain enough? Did he understand her meaning?
"I don't expect to, no."
They had reached his car. Elizabeth still could not look at him, but instead concentrated on her feet while her hands clenched and unclenched. Will leaned against his car (after dismantling the alarm) and eventually spoke. "Elizabeth, I asked you a question at Pemberley which unfortunate circumstances prevented you answering. Until now I had taken your silence as your answer, but I ask it again, now. Is there any hope of us at least being friends again?"
Elizabeth took a deep breath and let it out quietly. She ran her hands through her dark curls anxiously. "I want to think so, but I cannot help but tell you beforehand how much you hurt me."
"I hurt you?!"
"Jane told me that you helped me get my job in London and my books published. I had thought it was for own merit, and now I can't say that. I owe my success to connections, not talent or skill."
"Elizabeth, all I did was put in a good word for you. I told the company that employed you that you were an excellent employee of mine and they would never regret hiring you, that's all. And I basically did the same thing with the company publishing your work. I am in that business, Elizabeth. I know how difficult it is to survive in this field. I only gave you the recommendations you deserved."
Elizabeth wanted to cry so much. She couldn't handle it anymore. "Will, I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything I've done. I don't know why you even want to be my friend anymore. I'm an evil person who-who-"
"Elizabeth, you're not evil. You may be confused and unsure, but never evil."
"I'm so sorry," she kept whispering.
Will ached to take her in his arms. It hurt him more to see her suffering than all her previous torture.
"I can forgive you if you say we can be friends."
Elizabeth calmed down before she looked up at him for the first time and cracked a wry smile. "Is that blackmail?"
Will returned a half smile. "Yes."
"I'd like to think we could try to mend our friendship."
Will smiled more.
Elizabeth looked away again. She focused on a distant view. "I've missed our friendship so dearly."
Will's voice cracked when he replied, "I'm sorry I ruined it."
"I don't blame you anymore, Will. I blame myself. I was the one who overreacted and left without even seeing you again. That was hardly mature behavior on my part. I was the one who didn't even mention your name until I returned to Boston for my visit. Again, after we returned to England, I didn't attempt contact. I've been such a wimp through this entire ordeal. Always running away, never facing up to it. No, Will, I never think of our friendship as ruined by you."
"I admit I am relieved to hear you think that way, but it doesn't mean I like letting you take full responsibility."
"What else could you have done, though? No, I feel I am the only one to blame."
Will continued to look intently at her distraught face. He couldn't decide with himself who had suffered the most these past two years.
"Besides," she said. "Even though I missed you, Jane, Charles, Boston, I feel like the time I spent away wasn't wasted."
"No, one couldn't say you wasted it. Congratulations on your success as an author."
"Thank you. Even though I owe it to you."
"No, I think you would have found a publisher at some point. Maybe just not as quickly."
"No one could say you wasted your time, either. Most Successful Businessman of the Year. And that was all I gleaned from passing by a magazine on a table. What other honors and awards have you received?"
"None that truly mattered," he replied, looking at her with the same intense gaze that sent her control to pieces.
She cleared her throat. "Well, I'd better be going back inside before Jane misses me."
"Yes. I need to be running along, too."
"I'll see you at the end of the aisle, then." Elizabeth couldn't believe she'd said that. Flushing a deep scarlet, she turned and ran back inside the hotel.
She spent several minutes in the restroom again, cooling her hot face down and mentally smacking her forehead. When she had composed herself, Elizabeth returned to the hall and sat beside Jane once more.
"So? How did it go?" asked Jane in a hushed tone.
"Ok. We've agreed to try and be friends again, but only after I falsely accused him a couple of times."
"What?"
"I'll explain it all later."
Jane was still happy that her two friends had reconciled to a certain extent. Elizabeth resolved not to spoil Jane's wedding day with any of her petty troubles.
Jane's wedding day dawned sunny and clear. It was the first thing Elizabeth checked when she woke up. Elizabeth went into Jane's room and woke her up. Jane sleepily got out of the bed, careful not to wake her still sleeping cousin. The two girls walked into the kitchen. Jane sat in silence while Elizabeth made some tea.
Finally Elizabeth broke the silence. "What are you thinking?"
"I'm in denial. I can't grasp the concept that today is my last day of being single, of being a Benton, of this part of my life! I'm in complete denial. I've become so used to this kind of life, that I can't conceive of any other."
"I think I felt like that on my graduation days. High school and college. But at least you're going from Benton to Bingley. Most women have to change their initials, too."
"I never really considered it."
"Are you happy?"
"Actually I'm kind of melancholy. I mean, I can't wait to be Charles' wife, but at the same time, I feel like it's a big step towards aging, you know? I feel so much younger as a single woman now than tomorrow when I am a married woman."
"Oh, somehow I don't think this is what you'll be thinking about tomorrow morning," Elizabeth said with a sly smile.
Jane blushed prettily.
"You're not nervous, are you?"
"No, not really. I am hoping there are no glitches with the ceremony and dinner, but for myself? No."
"That's good. I've heard plenty of stories about pre-wedding jitters in my office."
"Maybe that would have been the case if we hadn't lived together first for a couple of years."
"Why did you two make that decision in the first place?"
"We'd already decided at that point to get married, but wished to have the wedding at a convenient time. You and Will held up the date for a long time."
"You're kidding! Will and I held up your wedding date?!"
"Liz, today is just a public confirmation of what Charles and I had promised and established two years ago. Don't go feeling sorry about it or anything."
"I can't help it. I'm sure Will would feel the same way if he knew. I presume he doesn't."
"No. Anyway, essentially we were engaged and living together for two years. We just weren't so conventional about it. I wouldn't suggest it for everyone. You, for example. I wouldn't advise you to do the same thing. I would think you'd have a short engagement and then get married, then do the whole living together thing. A more traditional and accepted route. But Charles and I were never unhappy with our situation."
"Are you glad you're finally getting married?"
"Oh yes. It's nice to finally get it over with after two years."
Elizabeth shook her head. "I still can't believe we held your wedding date up."
"Don't dwell on it, Lizzy."
Elizabeth sipped her tea in contemplation. "Do you regret not having a bachelorette party?"
"No. I told you earlier I didn't want one. I just know some of my cousins would have gotten male strippers and that sort of thing, and I just don't want that."
"I understand. I don't think I'd want it, either."
"I just wish Charles didn't either."
"You know he had strippers at his party?"
"No, I don't know, but I suspect. He's too kind and easy-going to say no to his friends. And you know what his friends are like. I can easily see Caroline getting twenty of them."
"I see what you mean." Suddenly, thinking of Will at a party like that and enjoying it disturbed Elizabeth greatly. She had never thought of Will as the type of guy to go in for that sort of perverted thing, but she knew he would have to be at the party, and what guy wouldn't enjoy himself? Elizabeth sighed deeply.
To find something to take her mind off the thought, she said, "I am willing to make you a breakfast of anything you want. Name it and I'll do my best to make it."
"That is a tempting offer. I might just say a soufflé just to see you fail."
"Please note I said, 'try' and make it."
"I'd love some french toast, hash browns and sausages."
"You have it." While she started to get ingredients and utensils out, she asked, "So what do you have to do this morning?"
"I have to get dressed and pretty, that's what."
"When is the hairdresser and manicurist coming?"
"At eleven thirty, I believe."
"I think I can manage it!"
Elizabeth proceeded to wake the house up through her debut as a chef. In the end, a tolerable breakfast of french toast, hash browns and sausages was dished out. Jane laughed at her and after tasting it, deemed it to be a pleasant breakfast.
"Thank you very much, Elizabeth."
"Anything for you, Jane dearest! ...So! Are you and Charles going to honeymoon your way over to visit me in England?"
"Not honeymoon our way over, but we certainly will come visit you soon. Say you and Will did fall in love with each other, would you stay in England?"
Elizabeth wasn't sure she liked the question, but replied, "Yes. I wouldn't be able to leave my grandmother. But I've never had to worry about it before."
"I wonder if Will realizes that."
"What?"
"That even if he did get you to love him, you still wouldn't be able to join him at Pemberley like what happens in his dreams."
"In his dreams, huh?"
Jane blushed at 'accidentally' letting that piece of information slip. "Well, you know he loves you. Wouldn't it be natural for him dream about you two being happy?"
"It's disconcerting to a girl to be told that a guy dreams about her, though."
"How about if I told you he dreams about you constantly?"
"I don't think I want to believe you. Jane, please! This day is going to be hard enough as it is! You getting married, dancing with Will and trying to reestablish a friendship... introducing John to all the people he's always heard about and never seen."
"I'm sorry, dearest. I didn't mean to discomfort you."
"Sure, I'll believe that when Hell freezes over!"
More of Jane's family came into the kitchen, and they lost their last chance to talk privately for that day.
Elizabeth got Jane to the church on time. Will had lent one of his limos for their use, while the other was used by he and Charles. Elizabeth was dressed in her pale blue dress and white sandals. Her hair was pulled back and small white flowers were woven into the dark curls. She had small amounts of makeup on and her bouquet of flowers in her hand. Jane looked resplendent in her white wedding gown. It was made of beaded and embroidered satin, was strapless and had a cathedral train. She, too, had over the elbow length matching gloves. On her head was a headband holding her veil.
Elizabeth helped her into the limo and sat beside her as they traveled to the church with her parents, the flower girl, and the other bridesmaids. The church itself was a big, old cathedral-like church, but not as majestic as the churches Elizabeth had seen in England. There were flowers decorating the church making it look more beautiful and festive.
Jane and her entourage waited in the anteroom near the back while the guests arrived. Elizabeth fussed with Jane's gown as well as her own. Finally, Jane said, "Elizabeth, my dear. I'm not worried about how I look, why should you be? I'm fine, really. Calm down. Why are you so nervous, anyway?"
"I just want this to be the best for you," she lied.
The time came to walk down the aisle and Elizabeth handed Jane her bouquet, giving her a final kiss as she did. Jane smiled back at Elizabeth and then turned to take her father's arm.
Elizabeth took her own bouquet into her gloved hands, checked herself nervously in the mirror once more, and then took her place with the bridesmaids. Elizabeth heard the organ music begin and prepared to walk down the red carpet. She didn't know why she dreaded it, but suspected it had something to do with Will being at the end of the aisle. Elizabeth mentally grimaced at that Freudian slip once more.
The entourage began its procession down the aisle and Elizabeth bravely took the slow steps. She refused to look up, but instead kept her eyes on the ground a few feet in front of her. Her hands clutched the bouquet. She was thankful for the gloves she wore. This way, if anyone touched her hands, they wouldn't know how sweaty they were.
She couldn't help but feel Will's eyes on her. What was he thinking? Did she meet his approval? Was he wishing they were in Jane and Charles' place? How did that make her feel? She didn't know.
Elizabeth took her place to the side in front of the altar, and turned to watch Jane, deliberately avoiding looking at Will. Jane walked up the aisle on her father's arm. They stopped in front of the altar, Mr. Benton offered his daughter to Charles, lifted her veil, kissed her, and then sat down. Charles took Jane's hand and they stood before the minister.
Everything after that went by in a blur. She knew she had done the right thing at the appropriate time, like taking Jane's bouquet in her hands, but couldn't remember doing it. When she came back to reality, the newly married couple was kissing. Then Elizabeth handed back the bouquet and followed the couple up the aisle beside Will, still not looking at him.
In the foyer of the church, the couple signed the registry and legal documents, and then walked outside in a shower of birdseed to the limo that had been tastefully decorated by some of Charles' cronies.
Elizabeth got into the second limo and to her dismay, Will was forced to sit beside her as other groomsmen and bridesmaids piled in. The others chatted gaily about the ceremony and the banquet to come while Will and Elizabeth were conspicuously silent. When the Bingleys had come out of the church, Elizabeth had had a chance to peek at Will. She was disheartened by how gorgeous he looked in his black tuxedo, the red rose in his lapel giving contrast to the stark colours of the suit. This only caused Elizabeth to become more intimidated by him.
They reached the hotel where the reception was to take place and everyone in the limo poured out. Will got out before Elizabeth and turned to help her. Elizabeth gratefully took the proffered hand before she knew who it was, thinking it was the chauffeur. When she stood upright, her hand still in his, she realized it was Will and blushed deeply.
"Thank you," she murmured.
He let go of her hand, and offered his arm. "Shall we go in together."
Elizabeth half smiled, and took it. They sedately walked into the reception. Jane and Charles were there to receive guests and happily saw their best man and maid of honor together. Maybe things would turn out all right in the end.
Elizabeth felt giddy being so close to Will. She slipped her arm out of his and went over to Jane first. They kissed each other's cheeks and hugged.
"I am so happy for you, Jane."
"Thank you, dearest."
Elizabeth then turned to Charles who hugged her close. "Take care of her Charles or you'll have me to answer to."
"I wouldn't dare, my dear," he replied, smiling as if he'd crack.
After the couple had received their guests, there were photos to be taken. The photographer gathered the entire wedding party out on the lawn in order to have the best background. He started with pictures of the bride and groom, then the bride with her parents and the groom with his, then the groom with his groomsmen and the bride with her bridesmaids. There was one of both groups together and then one with the couple and both sets of parents. To Elizabeth's horror, there was one of the best man and maid of honor.
Reluctantly, she stepped forward. The photographer determinedly led her over to where Will stood in place. The man stepped back and looked at the awkward couple.
"Now," he said. "You place both your hands on her waist and you put your right hand just above his elbow on his arm, and your other hand higher up his arm. Yes, that's it. Step closer in."
Elizabeth couldn't remember when she had felt so embarrassed and hot. She told herself to stop blushing so much or she would look as sunburned as a lobster in the picture.
"Look at the camera, now. That's good. Nice. Great, next!"
Elizabeth broke away from his grasp and thought she imagined his reluctance to let go. In any case, Elizabeth was relieved with the photographs were over. They went back inside and began the banquet. Elizabeth was relieved she wasn't sitting next to Will. Instead, she sat next to Jane and the same bridesmaid as the post-rehearsal luncheon. She couldn't talk to Jane much, since she was so involved with Charles, so she was obliged to talk with the bridesmaid.
"What was it like to have his arms around you?"
"Who?" asked Elizabeth.
"The best man! For the pictures."
"Well I'd hardly call that having his arms around me."
"It's close enough. So what did it feel like?"
"As pleasant as it is when any man has his hands on your waist."
"Come on, surely not."
"I'm scarcely the one to talk to about that sort of thing. I'm no expert on the matter."
"Are you anticipating dancing with him?"
"Dreading, is more like it," Elizabeth mumbled.
"What?"
"I said yes."
Too soon for Elizabeth, the dancing began. She watched as Jane danced the first with Mr. Benton and the second with Charles. For the third, Will came to her side and bowed, saying, "May I have this dance?"
Elizabeth blushed, and put her hand in his. They walked out to the floor to join the Bingleys. Elizabeth recognized "Unchained Melody" by the Righteous Brothers. Will slowly took her into his arms and Elizabeth submitted with an inward sigh.
Whoa...my love, my darling
I hunger for your touch
Alone...lonely time
And time goes by so slowly
And time can do so much
Are you still mine?
Elizabeth didn't want to admit how wonderful it felt to be in the position she was in. It seemed so right.
I need your love
I need your love
God speed your love to me
Will said, "We must have some conversation. A little will suffice."
Elizabeth smiled. "You know me, Will. I never did like dancing."
"No, you didn't. But may I say you're doing a wonderful job of pretending to like it?"
Elizabeth blushed. "Thank you."
"May I also say how beautiful you look today?"
"Will, you know me better than that."
"I'm sorry," he said with a half smile. "I won't tell you how gorgeous you look."
Elizabeth still blushed.
Lonely rivers flow to the sea, to the sea
To the open arms of the sea, yeah
Lonely rivers sigh, wait for me, wait for me
I'll be coming home, wait for me
"When do you return to England?"
"Tomorrow. I have to be in the office Monday morning."
"Oh."
"I wish I could have spent more time here, but didn't have enough time off for it."
"Of course."
Whoa...my love, my darling
I hunger, hunger for your love
For love....lonely time
And time goes by so slowly
And time can so much
Are you still mine?
I need your love
I need your love
God speed your love to me....
When the song ended, Will took her hand and led her off the floor. "Thank you for honoring that tradition with me, despite your strong misgivings..."
"Will, you know I hate dancing with anyone. Don't take it personally."
"I know."
"Elizabeth!" called a decidedly British accent.
Elizabeth turned and saw John coming towards her. "John! Oh, I'm so glad you made it!" Elizabeth ran a few steps and was enveloped in his embrace.
She pulled out of his hug, kissed him lightly, and said, "I'm sorry I couldn't pick you up last night. How was your flight?"
"Well enough for eight hours. I say! You look positively ravishing! I never dreamed you would clean up so well!"
Elizabeth smacked him lightly but laughed. Suddenly, she remembered Will. She turned to him. "John, I'd like you to meet Will Darcy. Will, this is John Barret."
John shook Will's hand. Elizabeth was rather astonished at the stony face on Will. John didn't seem to pick up on it. "It's such a thrill to finally meet you in person! I've heard so much about you I feel I know you already!"
Elizabeth pinched his arm surreptitiously. John leaned over and whispered, "Why didn't you tell me he was such a gorgeous man?"
"I did!" she whispered back.
Will's look seemed to get blacker as he witnessed this intimate display. He curtly bowed and excused himself.
John watched him leave. "I think he was jealous of you."
Elizabeth looked at him in astonishment. "Jealous of me? Oh, you're impossible! Come on, I want to introduce you to Jane and Charles."
"It'd be nice to meet the one who's paying for my meal."
They had to a wait for a couple of dances before the couple were free. Elizabeth led John over to them. "Jane, Charles, this is John Barret. This is Jane and Charles Bingley." Elizabeth smiled at Jane upon introducing her as Mrs. Bingley.
"How good it is to finally meet you, John," Jane said. "You've been such a good sport for putting up with Elizabeth in England."
"The pleasure is all mine, I assure you. Besides, I'm banking on a dedication in one of her books these days."
Elizabeth laughed. "Maybe someday."
John and Charles began to talk while Jane whispered, "How are things going between you and Will?"
"Well the dance was the most awkward thing you could imagine but at least we were talking. However when I introduced him to John, Will turned into Mr. Iceman himself and soon left."
"That is odd. Maybe he's jealous of your friendship with John. John did kind of replace Will."
"So in other words, I should seek Will out and try to mend things again?"
Jane nodded gravely. Elizabeth sighed. Before she left, she said to Jane, "Get your husband to introduce John to some of his male friends, will you? I'll be back in a while."
Elizabeth left the trio in search for Will. She had to stop and chat to a few people on the way, but was distracted by her preoccupation. Finally, she saw him sitting in a corner away from the crowd with a drink in his hand. She slowly walked up to him. He didn't acknowledge her presence.
She twisted her gloves in her hands. Once, she was tempted to run her hands through her curls, but then remembered she couldn't. She pulled a chair over next to him and sat down, careful of her skirts.
"You left kind of suddenly."
Will shrugged, still not looking at her.
Elizabeth sighed. "I thought we'd agreed we'd try and be friends."
"Yeah."
"So would you mind telling me why you're not speaking to me? I would have understood it before yesterday, but you said you forgave me."
Will was silent a moment, opened his mouth to say something, closed it, opened it again and blurted out, "How long have you been dating?"
"Who?" she asked with a frown.
"You and John. How long have you been dating?"
"You think... Will, I heard you kept up with me through my letters to Jane."
"Yes, I know a little about your history."
Elizabeth gave a short laugh. "Obviously you don't know enough. John would rather be dating you than me, if you get my drift."
Will looked at her for the first time, his face surprised and disbelieving. "You mean John is..."
"Gay. That's why we're so close. He's like a girl friend to me."
Will didn't know how to respond.
"He said to me, after I introduced you, that he was insulted I didn't tell him how gorgeous you were." Will colored bright scarlet and squirmed a little uncomfortably. "I told him I did." Will looked at Elizabeth to see her blush shyly, avoiding his eyes.
"I'm sorry I thought..."
"You're sorry you thought I would have a boyfriend? Why should you? I mean, I haven't, but it wasn't your fault you thought John was. I'm just sorry I told you he was gay instead of letting you discover it yourself."
Will reddened again, but laughed.
"Come now, Will. Doesn't he remind you the least bit like the gay barber from that improvisational play we saw?"
Will chuckled and watched John moving about the men. He ruefully nodded.
"Anyway, I told him firmly that you were off limits and so you two would actually like each other."
"Are you sure it wouldn't be a friendship like ours?"
"What do you mean by that?"
"Where one partner falls in love with the other?"
This was the first time they had directly referred to his love. Elizabeth was unsure of how to act. She decided to honestly answer the question and ignore the reference to them. "It's possible, I guess. It would make a love triangle worthy of soap operas and talk shows."
Will was silent a moment. "Are you saying you love John?"
"What? No, don't go twisting my words. I didn't mean to imply that. Oh, let's just choose another topic of conversation."
"You pick."
"Will you write to me in England?"
"If you want me to."
"Well I don't know how else to maintain a friendship overseas. I'd at least like to try it."
"I'd like that, too."
"I'm sorry I'm leaving so soon."
"It's quite understandable. Are you flying with John?"
"Yes. Will, just don't go getting resentful and uptight about John, all right? He may be a very close friend, but he never came close to replacing your friendship."
Will took her hand and smiled wanly at her. "You always were pretty good at reading my mind."
Elizabeth smiled back and squeezed his hand. "Come on, let's join the party... without dancing."
"What'll you do if one of those guys who've been eyeing you for ten minutes asks you to dance?"
Elizabeth turned around in astonishment to see Will speaking the truth. She quickly turned back around and looked down at her feet shyly. Will chuckled. "I see you're still as incapable of accepting men trying to win you."
"I consider it as being adept at turning them down."
"My sister Georgiana came for the wedding and wants to finally meet you."
"Really? I would love to meet your sister!"
Will offered his arm and they walked over to join the reception once more.
Will spotted her sister sitting at one of the tables. He led Elizabeth over to her and said, "What are you doing sitting down?"
"Watching," she said, shyly, seeing the woman on her brother's arm.
"Georgie, this is Elizabeth Bennet. Elizabeth, my sister Georgiana."
Georgiana was a beautiful young woman with much resemblance to her brother. She had the same dark hair and handsome dark eyes. She smiled shyly.
"I'm thrilled to meet you at last," said Elizabeth, warmly.
"I feel the same way. I've heard so much about you for so long, I was beginning to think you didn't exist."
Elizabeth laughed uneasily. "Where are you currently attending college?"
"I am at Cornell."
"Do you get to come home very often?"
"At least one weekend a month I come home to check on my brother."
Elizabeth gave Will a teasing smile. "And how do you usually find your brother?"
"In dire need of company."
This put Elizabeth off. She quickly changed the subject. "What are you majoring in?"
"I've changed it quite a bit in the past. Currently, I am majoring in music education."
"Ah yes. I recall hearing you play the piano very well and are fond of music."
"No, I don't play very well. But I am fond of music."
"Why are you not dancing?"
"Oh, I couldn't."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm not very good at it," Georgiana said.
"Will, why don't you give her dancing lessons?"
"Because I'm not qualified to teach," he replied.
"You taught me."
"Exactly my point."
"Are you insulting my dancing?"
"You admit to it yourself."
"True, but it doesn't give you the right to tease."
Georgiana had been watching this good-natured bickering with interest. Will never acted like this around anyone else she'd seen him with.
Elizabeth said, "Just take your sister for one dance and then other young men will follow example."
"What if I don't want her to dance with other men?" he challenged.
Georgiana blushed, and Elizabeth said, "You leave me with no choice, then."
"What? What are you going to do?"
"Come on, Georgiana," Elizabeth said, taking her by the hand. "We're finding you a dance partner."
"Oh, Elizabeth, no, really it's not necessary. I'm quite all right here."
"Nonsense. A beautiful girl like you sitting all alone? Not in my presence."
Elizabeth found John, and tapped him on the shoulder. "John, this is Will's sister, Georgiana. She's shy about dancing, and I knew I couldn't find a better partner than you. Georgiana, this is my good friend John Barret. He'll take good care of you."
Georgiana turned a bright crimson. John bowed, and kissed her hand, gallantly. "Miss Georgiana, it would be an honor to dance with you. Shall we?"
She nodded shyly, and they walked out to the dance floor. Will came up behind her, and said, "Was that really necessary?"
"Well you wouldn't do it, and John is ideal. He is a superior dancer and you can't be worried about your sister in his hands."
"Still..."
"Will, you can't encourage her shyness."
"I find this odd coming from you."
"No, I have the right to say it because I do know what it's like. I have an idea of what she's thinking. But it's more ridiculous for her, because she has everything going for her. Money, looks, amiability. Exactly like you. But you weren't shy. In fact you were quite assertive when you first tried to get to know me."
Though neither said it, they were both thinking, And look where that led to.
"So you like my sister?"
"Very much. She seems a sweet girl, and I wish I had the time to get to know her better."
"I'm glad you liked her."
The reception lasted for a few hours more. In the middle, everyone said good-bye to the bride and groom as they left on their honeymoon to some remote Caribbean island. Elizabeth was fortunate enough to hug and kiss Jane good-bye before they left. Soon after their departure, Elizabeth grew weary of the celebrating and looked for a means to go home. She collected her gloves, handbag and bouquet and found John.
"Are you staying longer?" she asked.
John grinned and said, "You betcha. There're some prime pickings here."
Elizabeth smiled and kissed him. She left the hotel to call a cab. Will, who had been standing outside getting some fresh air saw her.
"Are you going home?"
Elizabeth, startled, whirled around, and saw him casually leaning against the building, his jacket draped over one arm. "Um, yes I am."
"Would you allow me to take you home?"
"You mean to your home?"
He nodded. "I was hoping to check up on it and see how it was surviving anyway."
"What about Georgiana?"
"She's already made plans to go home with a friend she hadn't seen in a while."
"All right then."
They walked over to his Mercedes convertible. He opened the door for Elizabeth and she got in. He put the top up before settling behind the wheel. "I didn't want to mess up your hair," he explained. "It's looks lovely like that."
Elizabeth gave a short laugh, and said, "Don't get used to it. It took over twenty minutes and a bottle of hair spray to get it to look like this."
Will smiled. They pulled out of the hotel and drove through the streets of Boston.
"Did you see who got Jane's bouquet?" Elizabeth asked.
"The bridesmaid?"
"Yes. She's the girl I sat next to at the post-rehearsal luncheon and tonight."
"Was she good enough company?"
"No. She kept going mooney over you."
Will turned crimson, but knew she was teasing him. He could take the teasing as long as she was comfortable enough in his company to dish it out.
"Didn't you want to catch the bouquet?"
"Me? No, why?"
"I know I saw Jane aiming for you."
Elizabeth laughed. "She has poor aim."
"I'm sure it's the thought that counts."
"They were a lovely couple, were they not?"
"They always have been. Both of them very handsome."
"Imagine what their kids will be like."
"You think they're going to have children?"
"Yes, I believe so, don't you?"
"I'm afraid I'd never really thought about it."
They pulled into the garage and got out of the car. "Will," Elizabeth said. "Would you mind if I went in first and made sure there isn't anything embarrassing lying around? We all left in kind of a hurry this morning."
"Sure."
Elizabeth did a check once over before letting him into his house. Elizabeth busied herself with cleaning up the kitchen while Will looked the place over. Elizabeth didn't feel herself up to looking at his house with him. It would bring back way too many tender memories of better times. His office was untouched, his library only had a couple of half-filled drinks showing evidence of occupation, and his bedroom had been left tidy by its temporary occupants. The rest of the place was positively messy, but he could find no damage to his property. He did note a lot of breakables were out of reach and valuables had been put away. He said this to Elizabeth when he brought the half-filled glasses from the library into the kitchen where she worked.
"Yes, I did that. You don't exactly have a child proof house and I tried to do my best to rescue your things."
"Thank you."
"I could do no less," she said, with a smile at him.
"Well, I should be going. It's a long drive back to Pemberley."
"You're going all the way to Pemberley?!"
"That's where I live."
"But this entire house is yours. Why don't you just stay here? The people staying in your room have left so you can use it without throwing anyone out."
"I don't know..."
"Truly, Will, I don't think I like the thought of you driving all the way back on your own this late."
"Mothering me?"
"Yes, I am. Stay here and return in the morning."
"All right, I guess I'll stay."
"Fine. Did you want anything to eat or drink?"
Will shook his head, and smiled slightly.
"What? Why do you smile?"
"I find it interesting to see you playing hostess in my house."
Elizabeth turned bright red from embarrassment.
"No, it's quite all right and very fitting. I just thought it was an odd situation. Anyway, hadn't you better be going to sleep? What time do you have to wake up?"
"Seven."
"Then you go on up. If there's anything else needed around here, I can take care of it."
"I'll see you in the morning, then?"
Will nodded and watched her go up the stairs. Elizabeth changed into her pajamas and settled into the bed she had first used in his house. Somehow, knowing Will was in under the same roof again made it harder for her to sleep. She kept replaying the day in her mind. The wedding, the reception, her conversations with Will....
"Elizabeth, wake up. Elizabeth, it's seven ten."
Elizabeth turned over to see Will sitting on the bed beside her, his hand on her shoulder, gently shaking her.
"You didn't set the alarm to AM. You need to get moving if you're going to catch your flight."
Elizabeth felt very disoriented, but sat up and pushed the curls out of her face.
"Thank you, Will. I'll be down in half an hour."
She showered and dressed in her comfortable travelling clothes. When she got downstairs, Will had cooked a nice breakfast of omelets and bacon and freshly squeezed orange juice. She smiled and sat down to eat. No one else seemed to be stirring in the house.
"Did you sleep well?" he asked.
"Of course."
"Is John meeting you at the gate?"
Elizabeth nodded.
They ate in silence. Then Will said, "Are you packed and ready to go?"
"Yes, sir."
"I'll get your bag for you."
"Thanks. Is this your offer of taking me to the airport?"
"Didn't I ask? I thought I did."
"No, it must have been one of the many conversations you hold in your head but never make it out of your mouth."
"Very funny. I'm up, I have the car, I think I could take you to the airport."
"Fine, let's go."
In the car, Elizabeth struggled to find conversation to break the silence. They talked about what success she had had as an author, what she had coming and what she had planned.
Will helped her with her bag to the desk and then walked with her to the gate. Elizabeth stopped at the gate and said with a wry smile, "Are you going to say good-bye now or wait until just before I board?"
Will shrugged and said, "I can wait this time."
They sat down and spent the next hour amiably talking about various things. They were just glad to be on easier terms again despite the still obvious strain. John finally showed up looking a little worse for the wear. He shook hands with Will and plonked down on the seat next to Elizabeth to sleep until the plane arrived.
Will hated it that the one time he wanted the plane to be delayed, it was on time. The three stood up when the boarding began. John shook Will's hand again and went to stand in line, leaving Will and Elizabeth alone.
They faced each other awkwardly. "You will write, though?" she asked.
Will nodded. "I promise."
"I'm sorry for everything."
"Don't start again. We understand each other."
Elizabeth nodded.
There was a long pause and then Elizabeth walked into his arms as they mutually embraced each other.
"It's been too long, and now I have to go," she whispered.
"It won't be nearly so bad now."
"I missed you so much, Will, I'm sorry."
"I missed you just as much."
They parted, and Elizabeth cleared her throat to prevent herself from crying. "Good-bye, Will."
"Bye, Elizabeth. Have a safe journey."
Elizabeth boarded the plane, looking back at him once.
She sat beside John in first class and pulled out her tissues. She blew her nose and wiped her tearing eyes. John patted her back and said, "I'm so glad you two are together again."
"Well, we're reforming our friendship."
"You still don't want more?"
"I don't know. I don't know."
Thanks to Christina S-L for her feedback and suggestions.
"Good bye, Will."
"Bye, Elizabeth. Have a safe journey."
Elizabeth boarded the plane, looking back at him once.
She sat beside John in first class and pulled out her tissues. She blew her nose and wiped her tearing eyes. John patted her back and said, "I'm so glad you two are together again."
"Well, we're reforming our friendship."
"You still don't want more?"
"I don't know. I don't know."
Dear Elizabeth,I hardly know how to begin. There seems to be an embargo on every subject. In that case, I should talk about the mundane, everyday things. But that won't work, either. I don't do anything except work. I suppose I could tell you all about my companies, but that's boring and I could easily see this correspondence coming to an end.
Georgiana says to thank you for making her dance at the reception. She ended up having a much better time and I learned that my parents' dancing skills skipped my genes. She's much better than I am. She also said she liked John. I asked her if she knew he was gay, and she replied, "Of course!" I now think my 'resentment and jealousy', as you so charmingly put it, blinded me from seeing it myself. I wonder how long it would have taken me to find out if you hadn't told me. Did John end up finding anyone while he was here?
I hope you're back into your regular schedule and writing new wonderful stories.
Sincerely,
Will
PS Is there any chance I could get sneak previews of your work?
Dear Will,
I understand your awkwardness in writing first. I'm sorry that burden came to you. But my suggestion for writing was partly geared at it being easier to talk than in person and on the phone. I dislike email because it becomes shorter and more insincere than snail mail letters. You must know I do the same thing with Jane. When are our newly-weds coming home, anyway?
I don't see why you don't do anything but work. I never considered you a workaholic before. But you must to be as successful as you are. I see that's what Georgiana meant when she said she comes home to check up on you. Don't you go out with your friends anymore? You used to go to quite a few balls and parties.
I'm glad Georgiana had a lovely time at the reception. I laugh when I think of your face when you heard her say she knew John's orientation. I suspect John did find a companion in Boston, but I never ask and he never tells. I'm okay being around him, but get more uncomfortable with any more detail.
I think I could give you a sneak preview of my work if you promise not to steal it and have your own company publish it. But at the moment, I don't have anything completed.
Grandmother and I are a quiet set of people, too. I don't go out much unless John drags me somewhere. I often go see movies with people from my office, but I haven't really established any other friendships outside of work. Grandmother and I usually sit at home with me reading or writing and her sewing, cooking, or cleaning. She's never really approved of my obsession with reading and writing. I don't think she reads very well. I know she left grammar school at age fourteen and entered into a special school to teach sewing and that sort of thing. This was before World War II, and she didn't need a higher education than that. A lot of this she has passed on to my mother, but I often wonder how my mother could turn out so differently from Grandmother. One big difference is that Grandmother loves me.
Anyway, write me back, for even if you have nothing to say, I like reading that nothing.
Yours etc.
Elizabeth
Dear Elizabeth,
I like the idea of writing instead of other forms of communication. I agree it is easier to organize and put one's thoughts down on paper. I'm sure I sound better on paper than in person.
You ask why I don't go out with friends. I have given up the pretense of enjoying myself in that kind of company. I would much rather spend my time productively working than not enjoying myself at a social function. I take no liberties in forming a theory as to why I feel this way. I never thought the subject worthy of my attention. I just act on behalf of my personal pleasure. This usually entails watching a movie by myself or reading or working. As I watched every movie I wanted to see, and grew tired of reading so often, I threw myself into my work. Hence the titles and honors bestowed upon me recently.
I'm glad you were not there to witness my chagrin in front of Georgiana about John. (Does he know he's a topic of interest in our letters?) I am perversely pleased you know few particulars about his... lifestyle. But I am curious as to what type he is. Does he go from one to another quickly? Or does he have a long-standing relationship? Or does he seldom act in such a manner? Ignore my curiosity if it bothers you.
May I say that your grandmother is rather closed-minded? There may be many reasons for this and some of them understandable and legitimate. But there are many older people who have taken new ideas in the face and learnt to deal with and accept them. Sorry if I'm preaching, but I know a couple of older people who have gained my utmost respect in that they continually keep abreast of the times. I am sorry for your sake that your grandmother is so lacking in understanding. You have an incredible talent and it's a shame your grandmother can't appreciate it.
I'd give you news of my life, except I have none. I expect Georgiana in a couple of weeks. I keep telling her she needn't come to 'check on me' and to stay with her friends, but she doesn't listen to me. I'm not sure when I lost control of her, but some time back in the past few years, she's grown into a young woman, and I sometimes find myself missing the sweet, trusting sister I had cared for for so long. Sad, I know, but don't you ever have the urge to just hold time where it is, and prevent it from moving on and causing change? I often have that feeling. Or at least wishing I could go back to a particular time in my life that surpasses any other.
I hope you have started a new work for me to read. I am all anticipation. But I know you shall not disappoint me eventually. Do you need help from the Muses first? Have they not visited you recently? I find it difficult to believe. You were always popping with ideas.
Sincerely,
Will
PS I believe our newly weds return in two weeks. I hope they're happy.
Dear Will,
I find it very hard to believe the only enjoyment you find in life is work. Can you not find something else to enjoy? A sport, hobby, club? I don't like the idea of you being so lonely in that huge mansion. Is there not some way you could meet people and maybe establish more friendships? Try, at least.
Hmm, John. He's definitely not the sleeping around type, which I approve of immensely. He's had a long relationship before, but it ended before I met John. Now, I think he's searching for another strong relationship. Fortunate for me, since it would considerably lessen my time with him if he did find someone. And if the couple joined me, I'm not sure how I would act or handle the situation. Having John and his boyfriend might be a little too real for comfort. Sometimes I think he doesn't mind not having a boyfriend since I fulfill his need for companionship. But then other times I think he does yearn for finding someone special. It's kind of sad. Meanwhile, I thoroughly enjoy his company.
I am well aware of the fact that my grandmother is closed-minded. On more than that subject, too. If you talk about the French or the Germans, they're always the bad guys. The British are indisputably the best. (I don't generally disagree, but I don't look on other nations as completely inferior in every way.) She has decided opinions about up bringing and the place of females in society (I threw most of those out the window my first week here). If you talk about other races and homosexuals, she doesn't agree, though she's nothing like the southern whites I used to come across where they still think blacks are subhuman! She just doesn't understand them, so I think that causes her to be wary and suspicious. She's not uncivil to them. Though there have been many a strained atmosphere when John comes over. I think she's finally accepted him as a very decent man who isn't some freak she should keep at the end of a five-foot pole! Yes, it was especially awkward during the period when John would have to sleep in bed beside me to make me go to sleep. And before you get the wrong mental picture, wait for me to explain!
After my grandfather's passing, we had troubles with finances and the boat and other things along those lines. To make ends meet I worked long hours working at the office and then at writing. John saw my lack of nourishment and sleep. He took me under his wing, making me eat at lunch time and take a break (like I used to do with you) and then coming over to the house on the island and sleeping there. But he soon discovered I would wait until he was asleep in the other room and then get up to work on my computer. So he slept beside me (nothing more than sleeping, mind you!) and then whenever I tried to get up he would wake up and push me back under the covers. I have to admit it worked. I started getting more than three or four hours of rest per night.
But about my grandmother... if you just ignore her and glide over the rough bits, it's fine. Try and argue with her and you're lost. She doesn't change her opinions so it's like reasoning with a brick wall.
I don't think I can sympathize with you about your sister. I don't remember Lydia ever being sweet and pleasing. But I do know how you feel about stopping time. I wouldn't choose right now, but I'd love to go back in the past and hold time there. I can't help but say the time we were best friends in Boston would be the only time I would pick to hold. All other times in my life are best passed over as quickly as possible. Don't go feeling guilty again, for that isn't my intention. I express a hope of coming to a time in the future that we wish to stop and hold still.
I have started a new story, but you will just have to wait to hear about it.
Yours truly,
Elizabeth
Dear Elizabeth,
You still know me too well. Every time you told me to stop thinking something you knew I would be, you were right. I did have an ugly mental picture about you and John and I was feeling guilty about ruining our friendship. But we won't go into that. I just ruefully think about how well you can predict my thoughts. Is this a compliment to myself? I doubt it.
I would not blame John in the least for valuing your friendship as much as he must. Does this not tell you something? Truly, you always seem to skip over the compliments paid you and settle onto the insults. You always close your ears to the praises you should hear. I often think this is a ruse just to hear more praises about yourself.
I heard about the trying period after your grandfather's passing. I was sorry to hear of it and wished I could have helped. But I knew you better than to expect you to accept any help from me. You are doing better now, though, right?
I truly hope we can reach a time we wish to hold still. This isn't so bad now, considering the past two years. I'm sure Jane and Charles have that wish to hold time still right now! Only another week until they return. However even when they do return, I doubt they'll be up to going out with Mr. Lonely Third Wheel over here. Do I sound too self-pitying? I'm sorry. That's your job.
You must tell me about your new story, if only just the plot. An idea of what it's going to be like. You do know how to torture me. Please tell me and I will be satisfied to wait until it is completed to hear the rest.
No news from Pemberley. Just the same old.
Write back soon,
Sincerely,
Will
Dear Will,
I don't want to agree with you about being a third wheel with Jane and Charles, but I understand what it would feel like. Still, don't shun them. I'm sure they'll still love your company. You'll just have to learn to put with the awkward moments when they are seemingly oblivious to your presence.
My story is not going to be revealed to you prematurely. It must come to fruition first, and if you bug me one more time about it, you'll have to wait until it's on the shelves in the bookstores.
Do you think I should find another publisher? I mean, how do I know I'm not being taken advantage of? So often a writer just starting out has to make a lousy deal and often loses money on the first success they achieve. Despite my being in this profession for some years, I still know very little about it. Who else to advise me but you? Am I right? I eagerly await your guidance and wise advice.
John came over for dinner last night and unfortunately started a debate with Grandmother about immigrants in this country. I don't pretend to know anything about the matter, so I kept my mouth closed and let them bicker it out. Finally, John saw that it was a lost cause and shut up. Such a smart boy, my John!
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? Are you the big city type (I sincerely doubt it) or the Caribbean island type or the mountains type? I think I prefer the mountains. Not really mountainous, but certainly not the plains nor the beach nor the city. The country. The nice countryside, maybe by a lake. Don't even try asking why this came up, I just wondered.
How is Georgiana doing? You haven't mentioned her recently. Do you fill the role of a very protective brother? Or are you just a normal fatherly-type who is concerned for her but often feels she has to learn some things herself? I hope you are the latter. I would hate to have to scold you for being over-protective.
Still not completed my latest work.
Yours,
Elizabeth
These letters continued for some months. Further detail is not needed, only the point that they certainly became closer, discussing philosophical matters and passing advice as well as help.
One day, Elizabeth was going through some paperwork regarding the lease of the house when she learnt who the owner was. As Elizabeth signed some documents, her eyes skimmed over what she was signing. The name Darcy caught her eye and she went back to find it again. There it was Fitzwilliam Darcy. She froze and just stared at the name. Then read a little before it. "In the year ---- the ownership of the house... falls to Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy... leased ... with due permission and knowledge... by ...Elizabeth Bennet."
She stopped reading. Will had purchased their house and leased it to them cheaply so they could stay. She didn't know what to think or feel. Anger? Happiness? Why had he done it? They weren't even on speaking terms at the time. Why? Why? What should she do about it? Offer to pay him the proper amount? They couldn't afford it. They would have to move out if they had to pay any more. Should she tell him she knew? It only seemed right. But then would he feel awkward about it? That depended on why he did it. He had heard her speak of the house many times when she was in Boston, so he would have known about it. Then Jane kept him abreast of their situation, and Will would have known the house was for sale. Maybe it was a business decision. But she still could not lose the thought that he had done it for her. How did she feel about that? Pleased? Maybe. She didn't know.
She decided to write to him and thank him for his generosity. If he wanted to respond, then the ball was in his court.
Dear Will,I was signing some papers today to do with my lease on the house. I came across something interesting. You probably know by now what I am speaking of. I wish to thank you for your generosity, allowing Grandmother and I to stay here. You cannot imagine how much it means to us. I admit to being in a quandary about how to handle the situation, but felt obligated to at least make you aware of my knowledge and thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Yours more than ever,
Elizabeth
It was longer than usual before she received a reply to this letter. She feared she had upset him or damaged their fragile friendship. But a reply did eventually come.