Beginning, Previous Section, Section IV, Next Section
Darcy watched Elizabeth walk toward the van from a block away. With her hair swaying in its simple ponytail, her sweats loose and hiding her curves, her arms wrapped around a pillow, her shoulder carrying a full backpack, she looked comfortable. Smiling, she slid into the seat behind him...and they made small talk for the first hour of the trip. But, it soon became obvious that she intended to sleep most of the ten hour drive down to Florida for Nationals. He felt disappointment but squashed it. She needs her rest. There wasn't a night since Spring Break when she wasn't out with Richard. Darcy seriously did not know how she was managing to keep up with her studying but there was little he could fault her for....he had never seen his cousin so HAPPY. Darcy felt his jaw tighten and he shook off the familiar twinge of jealousy as he slipped on his headphones. Time was making it easier to handle the relationship she was having with Richard....time was definitely making it easier for him to accept.
Darcy glanced over his shoulder and felt relieved that she was already fast asleep....the soft smile curling her lips caused something hot to brew in his stomach. He slid out of his jacket and placed it over her. She moaned and shifted but did not wake. Turning up the volume on his Walkman, he brought out his Calculus book. It wouldn't hurt if he spent a little a their trip studying... but he had chosen the wrong subject. He glanced back at Elizabeth. Tendrils of her auburn hair fell around his jacket and he longed to brush them with his fingers. Would they feel like silk? He returned his gaze to his worst subject before sighing and sliding the book home again in his backpack. Next, he grabbed his Chemistry book. He opened his notebook and stretched his long legs over the seat getting comfortable. Elizabeth moved again in her seat and he glanced at her. She snuggled deep into his jacket pulling it up around her head like a blanket. He closed his Chemistry book and gave into the impulse to watch her.
Elizabeth Bennet. She was so different than any other woman he had ever met. She did not seem to care about his family name....even seeing Pemberley had not swayed her opinion of him. She was not interested in chasing him...she was too busy chasing her own dreams. She was driven...stubborn. His smile deepened. How many debates had they gotten into since their friendship developed over cherry pie at Denny's? She didn't just agree with him because of WHO he was. Sometimes, it felt like she was not satisfied until she had shaken him down to his core. She thrilled him with her ability....dazzled him with her quick mind...amazed him by her generosity of spirit. It wasn't a chore to try to keep up with her---- it was natural as breathing. She may have become Richard's girlfriend....but she had become HIS best friend. It is enough. Darcy told himself, It is enough that I have a place in HER life .
When they finally pulled up outside their hotel, Elizabeth unfolded herself from her seat and stretched. Her muscles felt like someone had set them in concrete. Yawning, she bent and touched her toes feeling her back uncoil slowly. She could not wait to get settled into her room and take a nice long hot shower. However when she felt a pair of small arms encircle her waist, the idea of doing anything by herself vanished.
"Surprise, Lizzy!" The bright grin was contagious from under blonde curls.
"Bug! What are you doing here?" Lizzy's sleep filled eyes surveyed the lobby for the first time and she saw Darcy standing next to his parents. All three were staring at her.
"We came to see you and Darcy win Nationals." Bug's sincerity shone in her eyes. Lizzy impulsively swung the girl up into her arms, "Well winning is going to be difficult---- how about we promise to do the best we can?"
"Okay," Georgie threw her arms tightly around Elizabeth. "Mommy said that I could wear your birthday present tomorrow...."
"Present?" Darcy asked smiling as he joined them.
"Lizzy sent me a Xavier shirt, just like the ones you wear but only smaller," Bug's excitement made her blue eyes glitter, "Mommy said I could wear it tomorrow..."
"If it is warm." Anne reminded, then she looked at the woman holding her daughter. "Hello, Elizabeth."
"Mrs. Williams." Elizabeth tried to school her own anger at Morgan's aunt. She lowered Georgianna to the floor and leaned down to talk with her. She did not want to talk with Anne Williams...not now....not ever. "So, did you get a lot of presents for your birthday ?"
"Yep!" Georgie's smile was bright. "But, I liked yours best..."
"Even better than mine?" Darcy asked winking at Lizzy and turning a sad expression to his sister. Georgie looked undecided between the two.
"Well...." She gave her brother an impish grin. "I liked yours second best."
"I think your brother is getting used to being second best..." Lizzy's eyes danced and Darcy had to remind himself that she was teasing him. Still, a part of him ached at her words. He trained his eyes on Bug. "So, I don't even get a proper greeting anymore?"
Without a second of hesitation, Bug threw her arms around her brother. Lizzy smiled watching him whisper into her ear causing Bug to writhe in delight and giggle.
"We'd love too, wouldn't we Lizzy?" Coach LaSalle's question took her off guard. She had been so engulfed in watching the exchange between the siblings that she had completely forgotten the presence of the others.
"I'm sorry I didn't hear the question...."
"The Williams have invited us to dinner with them tomorrow after the competition," Coach's voice was warm. Bug squealed excitedly at the prospect of dinner with Lizzy and there was nothing for her to do but accept. "Yes, that would be lovely." She wondered if anyone else noticed how flat her voice sounded. She hoped that she would not be left alone with Anne Williams for any length of time...there was no telling what she would say about Morgan if she was.
The day of the National Competition was bright and clear. Darcy found his parents in the stands talking to a man. George made the introductions, "This is Coach Brown --- he coached Lizzy in high school."
"I really didn't coach her! Ben did most of the coaching before I ever came along...I think Lizzy's been running since she was born....." Darcy's eyes found her on the track warming up for her upcoming event. She sprinted about 50 feet then returned to her blocks. Coach Brown laughed again, "Ben told me once that it was easier to find Lizzy when she was running in circles on the track...I guess it did make it easier than when she was running away from home all the time..."
Lizzy ran away from home?Darcy tried to hide his own shocked reaction. My GOD! What type of home life did she have? Coach Brown continued, "I really don't know much about it all...she ran for me for four years, but you know how private Lizzy is..." Darcy realized the truth of the Coach's words. He really knew very little about her --- other than the bits that Jane had told him. He knew what she liked and didn't like...but she rarely talked about her childhood---about her family.
"Well, what can you expect? " Coach Brown said shaking his head, "I mean, the poor girl's history----it was such a horrible thing..."
Darcy could barely compose himself when he heard Anne ask, "What happened?"
"There were evidently some child abuse issues.. her real dad was never in the picture and her mom was.....well, her mother was not deemed able to care for her by the State. That poor girl was shuffled between relatives for years...can you believe, no one wanted her? And then that gem of an uncle put her in the hospital...that monster deserved the death sentence for what he did to her...they thought she was going to die..." Coach Brown paused as he glanced at the track. "but Fanny nursed her back to health at the hospital. Months later, Ben and Fanny adopted her...the rest is history..."
The shot of the gun caused Darcy to jump. He watched as Lizzy almost effortlessly claimed second place, wondering all the while why Jane had never told him about her past.
Coach LaSalle met Lizzy on the field after the race.
"I'm sorry, I couldn't catch her," she said, bending at the waist trying to catch her breath. He was stunned by his star runner. No matter how well she did, there was inevitably an apology. He smiled at her, "Your best is all I could ask of either you or Darcy..." She read the change in Coach LaSalle's expression. "What's wrong?"
He shrugged. "There was some mix up with Darcy's registered time and they put him in the wrong heat. I sent his forms twice, but they never updated his times when they assigned heats. They have him running with the top seven in his field."
"Couldn't they change it now?" Elizabeth asked. If there were more than one heat for a race, the officials tended to pair up the top runners together. Darcy was fast, but he barely qualified for Nationals. In fact, he was one of the slowest runners in the field for the day. "No, they refuse. They said that the heats have been assigned....."
She interrupted. "Does he know?"
"Yes, I told him before your race. He took it well." Darcy was running the 400, which was a short race, unless you were getting blown away.
"When is his race?" She stood ignoring the rush to her oxygen deprived brain.
"Fifteen minutes." Taking it well, Elizabeth thought angrily, flying toward the warm up area. He was going to do more than take it well. She didn't have a lot of time to talk with him, so she was going to have to be blunt. She walked up to him while he was stretching his long legs. "I know you can take at least one of them, Darcy.."
"What?" He felt like he had come in the middle of the conversation instead of the beginning. She met his eyes, "You heard me..."
Darcy looked at the other men around him. They were the top seven runners in his field. "Elizabeth, that is impossible." Darcy turned back to the other men as he heard the call for his race. She took his hand in hers. "Don't disappoint me, Darcy Williams....I know you have it in you to do this..." She pointed to the finish line. "I'll be waiting there for you."
"Wow, if I had her waiting for me, I wouldn't want to wear myself out before I got to her." One of the men said. Several of the others chuckled, and Darcy felt his anger rise. The man next to him received a very nasty stare. You are the one I'm going to beat. When the gun fired, he bore his eyes into the man determined to beat him to the finish line.
Coach LaSalle watched in fascination as the first 100, then 200 meters fell away.
"What did you say to him?" Coach asked Elizabeth.
"It is our little secret," she said, watching Darcy's progression on the track. He was in fifth place and closing fast. At the final 100, Darcy sprinted past the man he was drafting and crossed the line in fourth place.
As soon as the last person crossed the line, Lizzy ran to Darcy. "Are you always such an over achiever, Darcy?" Without a word in response, he lifted her off her feet into a hug, still reeling from the exertion of his run.
When George grabbed her arm, Anne stopped her advance toward the track. She gave him a strange look then turned her attention to the track. Darcy was holding Elizabeth in his arms...the two hugging tightly. Georgie raced around her parents, not able to contain her own excitement. "Georgie...."
"Let her go," George whispered into his wife's ear. Anne bit the inside of her mouth as Darcy lowered Elizabeth back to earth to pick up his sister. The three of them together smiling caused Anne's earlier worries about her son to evaporate. She squeezed George's hand tightly in her own. "Look at them together---!"
Elizabeth sighed in relief when the Williams selected a local steakhouse for their celebration dinner. She did not want to go somewhere fancy where she would have to try to figure out which fork was for which course. Chuckling to herself, she believed that she did have enough table etiquette to slice through a juicy steak. The wagon wheels on the wall and the rodeo theme throughout the room tickled her immensely. She saw Anne wrinkle her nose and had to hold back the starvation induced laughter. "I have died and gone to heaven," she drawled to Darcy as he held the door for her. When they reached the table, Darcy held her chair for her and she laughed at the feelings in her churning stomach, "Why thank you, sir..."
"My pleasure, ma'am." He made a slight bow, then helped his sister with her chair before taking his own. Lizzy could still not believe all that he had overcome that day. He had beat his personal time and placed fourth at Nationals. Darcy was amazing! She felt her cheeks warm when his eyes found hers over the table. His eyebrow rose and she looked away quickly, feeling her heart race.
She excused herself to the restroom, wanting to check her appearance. It was bad. Auburn hair fell all around her face, unkempt. She saw the uneven burn from the day's exposure to the sun. Redoing her ponytail, she finally admitted that she could do no more without makeup or a brush. Passing the little souvenir counter on the way back to her table, she could not help herself and bought Bug a present. Back at the table, she sat the bag in front of the little girl.
"Another present...Mommy can I open it now?" Bug's eyes got huge as they settled on Anne. The blonde woman nodded and Bug did not hesitate as she ripped though the bag. "Mommy, look! Lizzy bought me a cowboy hat." As Georgie hugged her tight, Lizzy almost laughed at the older woman's sour expression. She hates it!.
Darcy's voice was as warm as his smile. "Elizabeth, you are spoiling her..."
"Are you complaining?"
"Maybe I am." She heard the teasing in his voice and rose to the bait.
"Do you want me to stop?"
"No, Elizabeth. I don't want you to stop."
She cocked an eyebrow at him, "Boy, you are easy tonight. Normally, I have to fight for your approval."
"You never have to fight for that."
Thankfully, their dinner arrived and that put an end to the conversation.
This is going better than I thought, Elizabeth told herself. The silence over the dinner table was most welcome by her. Unaccustomed to the Williams' dining habits, she watched Coach LaSalle's reaction closely and almost laughed out loud at his evident discomfort. She sliced into her steak with renewed humor and almost choked when Mrs. Williams addressed her, "Elizabeth, Darcy said that you are a pre-med major."
"Yes, I am," She looked at Darcy who rolled his eyes. She covered her smile with her water glass. George warmed to the subject immediately, "And what field do you want to specialize in?"
"When I grow up," She smiled across the table at Darcy again. "I want to be a cardiovascular surgeon."
Bug's eyes went wide. "What is that?"
"Georgianna, one does not talk with their mouth full." Ignoring Anne, Lizzy poked Georgie's nose. "It is a heart doctor."
"You are going to fix people's hearts?"
"I'm going to do my very best." Lizzy answered as seriously as she could when she saw Darcy's smile. Not able to stop herself, she stuck her tongue out at him. He laughed at her antics and shook his head. "Don't follow her example, Georgie. She is a lunatic..."
"What's a luner tick?" Georgie asked sweetly.
Lizzy laughed. "Something I picked up from your brother."
Anne cleared her throat and the table immediately fell silent. Elizabeth wiped the grin off her face, trying not to gain anymore of Anne's unwanted disapproval. Again, Anne startled her by beginning another conversation. "Darcy said you made nationals for cross-country too." Lizzy nodded but she did not elaborate on her own performance. Anne sighed and asked, "Did you do well, Elizabeth?"
Lizzy felt bad about her poor showing at Nationals in the Fall. "I didn't place."
Coach LaSalle wiped his mouth quickly, "Lizzy took eleventh, which until then was the highest place a Xavier runner had gotten at the National level." Coach looked at both his runners with pride, "Now, I have to update both the men and women's standings. Elizabeth is a great motivator, don't you think Darcy?"
Darcy seized the opportunity, "When she says the right things."
"The same could be said of you, Darcy Williams." She fired right back, causing him to blush. Neither noticed Anne's smile as she let her fork rest on her plate, "Darcy said you were on full scholarship at Xavier." Coach LaSalle could not help but notice that Darcy seemed to share a lot of information about Lizzy with his family.
"Yes." The blush rose to her face again.
"That is pretty impressive," George said, stunned.
"I do all right." Elizabeth longed for the silence to return.
Darcy laughed at her comment and their eyes locked again. "Her idea of doing all right, Dad, is to be first in our class. She is Dr. Wingate's' TA."
"Dr. Wingate?" George laughed, " The spawn from hell who is imitating a Calculus teacher?" Elizabeth felt an older pair of Darcy's eyes examine her. "So, Lizzy, you aren't just another pretty face, are you?"
"About the only thing that Lizzy doesn't do well is handle compliments." Coach LaSalle interjected, amused. "They embarrass her."
"Could we find another subject please?" She managed to say staring at the table.
"I kind of like the subject, Elizabeth." Darcy smiled as he watched her glowing redder than he had ever seen her. Coach LaSalle winked at George. It was Elizabeth's bowed head that caused a shiver of something unnamed to go down Anne's back.
"What is that around your neck, Elizabeth?" Her voice was demanding.
Lizzy looked down to be sure. "A necklace."
"I know that," the woman's voice was pinched, "What is that on it?"
"That is Richard's class ring," Darcy felt his smile vanish as his mother's eyes raked over him in open disapproval. What had they expected? He wondered. For her to be wearing my ring?
"Please excuse me." Lizzy said, rising from the table. When she reached the bathroom, she locked herself in one of the four stalls and put her head in her hands. The Williams always made her uncomfortable. She never felt easy with them. It was always a trial to be in their presence. "Elizabeth?" Anne's voice seemed to cut through the bathroom stall door.
"I'm in here." Where else would I be? She smiled at her own behavior. Shaking her head, she gathered her courage. "I'll be right out."
Elizabeth went to the sink area when Anne asked, "When did it happen?"
"When did what happen?"
"When did you fall in love with Richard?" She looked at Anne, then started to rinse her hands. One thing was certain...she did not want to share her personal life with this woman. She just wanted to get back to the table. Anne continued, "You do love Richard?"
"Who wouldn't love Richard?" She evaded. She was getting really good at avoiding answering this question.
"Yes, that is what I mean. That is my point, exactly."
She faced Anne, confused. Anne was only too obliging to give her opinion. "Deep down you know what Richard is, Elizabeth. He is rather like a locust. He takes to one woman, stripes everything and everyone from her, then he moves on."
Elizabeth's face flamed at such a callous portrait of her Richard. He was many things, but he was not a man who would use a woman and leave her. Her loyalty to Richard fueled an already growing anger at Anne. "You don't know him if you honestly believe that."
"I know Richard a good deal better than you do. He is an exact copy of his father and Lord knows the trouble he has gotten into with other women......"
"I don't think this is something I need to know about, Mrs. Williams."
"You need to be careful whom you trust into your heart, Elizabeth. You need..."
Elizabeth's voice was tight. "I think I can judge character very well, thank you."
"Character, Elizabeth? Richard is a good, sweet man, but one woman will never satisfy him, ever. He has too much of his father in him. It runs in the family, even Jane..."
At the mention of her best friend, her anger boiled. How dare this woman? It was bad enough she hurt Morgan...and insulted Richard, but now she is going to malign Jane too? It was too much...she couldn't take another word. She began drying her hands, knowing she had to get away before she said something she would regret. Misreading her silence as contemplation, Anne continued, "It does seem that Jane is having the same problems that her mother has..." Elizabeth fled the restroom.
Anne was hot on her heels, following her through the dining area, "You see, Jane and Richard do not understand the meaning of friendship, love or family. They have no concept of the words. Even someone like you would recognize..."
"Someone like me?" She stopped, turning to look at Anne.
"What I meant is .."
"I know perfectly well what you meant. If you will excuse me...."
"Miss Bennet, " Anne's voice rose as she moved closer to their table. "You will stop while I speak to you....You will listen to me until I am done..." Elizabeth's anger and pain welled up inside of her, making it hard to control her tongue
"Miss Bennet, " Anne's voice rose as she moved closer to their table. Elizabeth's anger and pain welled up inside of her, making it hard to control her tongue. "You will stop while I speak to you....You will listen to me until I am done..."
"Who do you think you are?" Lizzy felt trapped by Anne on one side and the rest of the Williams on the other. Her voice was cold as she stopped in front of her chair. "We are not at Pemberley...I am not a servant in your home to be commanded."
"I never said you were," Anne became aware that Lizzy was upset. She lowered her voice, "But, you will give me the courtesy I am accustomed to receiving.."
"But then, Mrs. Williams, you must forgive me. The class I entertain is not nearly as refined as yours. I surround myself with the likes of Morgan...of Richard....of Jane.." Anne did not misunderstand the anger snapping in the green eyes regarding her.
"Elizabeth, please let's finish dinner," Anne offered weakly. She would repair this damage. "We can finish this discussion another time."
"I thank you, no. I don't really feel inclined to share your table any longer."
"Elizabeth." George stood, imploring her to take her seat.
"No, please sit, Mr. Williams," He stiffened at her address. "I am sorry but even someone of my class would not choose to willingly eat with someone who has insulted their loved ones.... " I have done that, Anne realized as she took her seat, stunned. "Mrs. Williams, do you ever wonder why you feel alien to your entire family? Why they don't feel comfortable sharing any aspect of their lives with you?" At each question, Anne jerked in her seat but Lizzy was too angry to notice the affect her words were having. "You spoke of the value of love, family and friendship...but do you even know what they are yourself? Morgan is getting married this summer and instead of putting aside a petty argument with Lola over a man who matters nothing to you, you would rather destroy her daughter's special day? That in itself smacks of a selfish and self serving design ....but then to say those horrible things about MY boyfriend and MY best friend...you are a sad, bitter woman, Mrs. Williams and I am sorry for you."
"That is enough!" Darcy stood as he threw down his napkin on the table. No matter what his mother had said, he would not let Lizzy abuse her this way.
"Yes, I would say it was." She met his eyes an instant before she turned for the exit. For a long time, no one at the table moved. Coach LaSalle glanced around the table. What just happened? Anne Williams was white with mortification. George had his arm around his wife and was looking at her in a very confused manner. Darcy had retaken his seat, but was glaring at his plate. Georgie had crawled under the table and Coach could hear her crying loudly. He sighed and stood. What could he say? He didn't want to say anything about the lovely dinner. Excusing himself, he left the restaurant, trying to catch up with Lizzy.
Back at the hotel, Darcy put Bug in her bed. She held her little cowgirl hat in her hand and was rubbing it like a genie bottle. "Lizzy hates us all now. Please make her like all of us again. Please." Sighing, he pulled her blankets up to her chin and tried to make her part with the hat, but she would have none of it. Instead, she drifted off, exhausted by her emotions, her tiny face tear stained and her hand holding the hat like a doll. Disgusted, Darcy left without saying a word to either of his parents.
"What did you say to her, Anne?" George looked at his wife with an even gaze.
"I didn't mean what I said to her," Anne said, taking off her jewelry. "It came out all wrong. I was trying to tell her about Richard......I was trying to explain that he chases a lot of women ..."
"Why did you tell her about that?"
"Why? You know why." Anne looked at her husband's face in the mirror, "What makes this worse is that Elizabeth was right about everything she said to me. I don't feel like my own family loves me...."
"Oh, Anne..." George kissed his wife's head as he stood behind her.
"No, George. I preached about family, friendship and love...and Elizabeth just showed me tonight what those mean." He was amazed by Anne's admission. "She is so wrong for him. She shouldn't be with him." He knew what Anne would not say.
George hugged his wife tight. "It is all going to work itself out, Anne."
"What if it doesn't? What if I've destroyed everything?"
Elizabeth felt horrible. She tried hard not to remember the words Anne had used to provoke her. Jane and Richard do not understand the meaning of friendship, love, or family. They have no concept of the words. She knew that this was not true. She loved Jane. Even with their recent setbacks, Jane's friendship was one of the most valuable things in her life. And, as for Richard...how could she really blame him if he didn't love her? Even someone like you would recognize... Lizzy rolled onto her side and let the tears finally come.
Darcy stopped outside of Elizabeth's room. Did she hate him again? Did she hold the argument with his mother against him? He swallowed hard and raised his balled hand to knock...the soft whimpering stopped him. Eyes closed, he pressed his flat hand against the door separating them. He so wanted to comfort her...to tell her that his mother was sorry...that it didn't matter to him even if his mother wasn't sorry---the only thing that mattered to him was Elizabeth...her friendship. The thought of losing her friendship...he shut his eyes...he couldn't lose the laughter...those smiles. He couldn't. Frustration mounted in him, he wanted to scream out his own anguish. He stared angrily at the heavens. Wasn't it enough that Richard had her? Wasn't it enough that he would never know what it was like to hold her? To kiss her? Did God have to take her friendship from him too?
"You really are a knight in shining armor." Karen's musky perfume wafted over him as he handed her into his car. "It was very gallant of you to step in at the last minute like this...you'll never know how grateful I am."
Far removed from chivalrous thoughts, Darcy let his eyes linger on the dress that accentuated her curvaceous figure. "It really is my pleasure...and I had no prior plans..."
"No plans?" You had no plans on a Saturday night?" Her mouth parted in disbelief before turning into a pout. "I do believe that you are teasing me."
Darcy laughed at her accusation as he gently shut her door. Making his way around to the driver's side door, he questioned taking Karen to the play for the hundredth time. What was the alternative? Go stag to Caroline's play. Or, stay home alone. Neither option appealed to him. He could still hear Richard's voice in his head from earlier that day. "Darcy, are you crazy! Karen Cuddles, the best looking girl on campus, just called YOU and asked YOU out ---" Richard's voice rose a noticeable octave. And YOU tell her YOU have to think about it. What in God's name is there to think about? Call her right back...NOW...and tell her you would be happy to take her ANYWHERE she wants to go..." So, here he was --- on a date with arguably the most physically attractive woman of his acquaintance --- and not the slightest bit interested in her. He was merely going through the motions. Maybe he should claim he had a headache? Sliding behind the steering wheel, he turned to face his passenger. "I'm kind of rusty at this dating stuff..."
"I'm sure it will come back to you."
"You do?"
"Sure. It's just like riding a bike." She laughed lightly then turned serious.
"I guess it is natural to lose confidence in yourself after a break up..."
"Isn't it funny how everyone is breaking up all of a sudden? You and Caroline. Me and Taggert." She tossed her head causing her chestnut curls to bounce. "The only consolation I have is the fact that if I was with Taggert...I wouldn't be here with you." He would have had to be dead to miss the invitation in her eyes. Slowly, Darcy bent toward her. After months of being unwanted, the idea of kissing a woman who desired him was irresistible.
"We are going to be late!" Richard noted the annoyance in Jane's voice and he absently glanced at the stage door Lizzy had disappeared through a few minutes earlier.
"I'm sure that she just wanted to wish Caroline good luck," Michael shot him an apologetic look. "I'm sure that she'll be back soon."
Jane glanced at her watch pointedly. "We are going to miss the performance if she doesn't hurry up."
Richard offered his friend a silent smile, knowing that there was no point antagonizing his cousin. When Jane got herself worked up into a mood, it was best to quietly let her anger burn out. Besides, Richard was too tired to argue with anyone. It had been a long last couple of weeks and he was looking forward to the summer months. It wasn't that he was unhappy. It was actually quite the contrary.
Being with Lizzy had made the last few months the happiest he had ever known. He had never given so much of himself to a relationship, never opened himself so much to another person. For once in his life he wanted to share his deepest moments with one woman, only to find that the woman held back from him. Richard sighed heavily. The irony was not lost on him.
It was almost as if there were two of her. There was Lizzy who smiled, who had a witty response to everything, who was interested in every facet of "you". But then there was another Lizzy. The one that held onto everything there was to "her" tightly. Maybe it really wasn't fair to say there were two of her...maybe it was better to say that the Lizzy he knew was a charade, a carefully developed decoy so she could hide her real self. He only saw shadows of the real Elizabeth and it was these glimpses that frustrated him. There were times when he saw such stark loneliness in her eyes that it almost caused him physical pain. He wanted to shake her. He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs, "I'm here. Let me in. Let me help you!" But it was as if she had prejudged him and found him not equal to slaying the demons that clouded her heart. Worse, she denied him the opportunity to even try.
He knew it was a double-edged sword. The Richard he was before Lizzy would have had no problem with the fact that she would not burden him with her problems. He would have preferred things that way. But, the man he had become as a result of her influence wanted more from their relationship than he feared Lizzy was capable of giving. He wanted a woman who would not only give to him but take from him. As much as he loved Lizzy, he was afraid that she had left him only one solution.
Darcy almost groaned aloud as the usher led them to their seats. It was not bad enough that he was going to have to put up with Caroline's parents, but his own turned to him as he reached his aisle. There was no way that he was going to be able to avoid introductions. He restrained the urge to curse loudly. Instead, in a surprisingly calm voice, he said, "Dad, this is Karen Cuddles. Karen, this is my father, George Williams, and my mother, Anne Williams."
George's voice was warm, but the disappointment flickered in his eyes. "Did I hear correctly? Your last name is Cuddles?"
"Yes, it is." Karen giggled, taking his hand in hers. "Cuddles...as in cuddling..."
"How nice." Anne's eyes flicked over Karen's dress with decidedly less appreciation than her son's had earlier, then she turned to face him squarely. "Where are Richard and Jane?" Darcy introduced Karen to the Smiths, but it was clear that his mother was not deterred. "You did give them the tickets we left for them?"
He sighed inwardly. "Richard and Jane made other plans they were pressed to keep." He knew it was a lie, but it was the lie that Richard had given him when he brought the subject up over the crowded lunch table. In private, Richard had told him the truth. "You know how your mother can be sometimes...evidently, Lizzy and she did not get along over New Years...and she doesn't want to face her at Caroline's play..." Richard sighed. "She made Jane and me promise that we would not sit with them. It's nothing against you! In fact, Lizzy wanted me to invite you to join us if your parents don't come. You understand, don't you?" Darcy evidently understood more than Richard and Jane, for it seemed that he alone knew the real reason behind her reluctance to join his family at the play.
"I see." Anne's response made his jaw clench. His mother's arrogance in this matter was astounding. Did she honestly think the argument at the Nationals would have no repercussions?
When Richard saw Lizzy enter the lobby, he admired again how the soft lilac in her tea-length dress made her tanned legs glow. The traces of glitter she had brushed at the corner of her eyes lent a carefree air to her appearance.
"Caroline is a jumble of nerves." Lizzy laughed. "She thinks she is going to get out on the stage and forget her lines."
"Well, it is about time!" Jane's comment was sharp. "Let's go in before they close the doors. Come on, Michael."
"Lizzy, she's been in a bad mood all day. I'm sure it doesn't have anything to do with you." Richard saw the sadness in here eyes and touched her cheek with the backside of his hand. She stepped back from him slightly saying, "Ready to go in?"
"Of course." He tried to hide his own pain at her subtle rejection. Her green eyes measured him a moment before she went on tiptoe and brushed her lips across his.
"Richard, you really are a wonderful, thoughtful man." Lizzy's smile lit up her eyes. "Now, let's go inside. I can't wait to see Caroline's performance."
Darcy tried to focus on the conversation between Karen and Julia. It was something about what colored pom-poms they should use during which cheer next basketball season. He glanced over at Charles and briefly felt a pang of guilt. Maybe his friend would have been happier if he had stayed out of it?
Darcy bit his lip hard in contemplation. It was clear that Charles had been attracted to Jane, but it wasn't until New Years that Darcy realized the depth of his friend's feelings. He had stepped in because he liked Charles a great deal. He liked him enough to protect him from his cousin. Jane would have ripped out Charles' heart and fed it back to him with a spoon. She was a heart breaker. A predator. It seemed no matter whom she dated, she had her one eye on her boyfriend and the other on the horizon waiting for the next best thing. It was an uncharitable view of his cousin, but her history could not be ignored. And a part of Darcy congratulated himself on being able to spare his kind-hearted friend the torture Jane would have put him through. In a way, he had been kinder to Charles than he had been to himself.
"Lizzy!" Darcy heard someone from the stage below him call her name and he could not help but find her with his eyes. He saw Richard's hand rest possessively on her tiny waist as she waved to someone behind the curtains. She was too far away for him to hear the conversation she was having with Richard and their friends, but it did not prevent him from straining his ears in the attempt. He fancied that he could hear her laughter and a warmth spread through him, unwanted.
"Darcy?" He jerked when he felt Karen's hand on his arm. "Are you all right?"
"I'm fine." He loosened his tie with a hard tug. "Don't you think it is a little warm in here?"
"I guess." Karen glanced over to Richard then back at him. "It is a little warm."
"I was just telling Charles that they needed to turn up the AC in here. I'm so glad I wore silk...I don't know how Lizzy is going to manage in that dress. That material doesn't look like it breathes at all. She is going to roast alive."
"I know." Karen agreed.
"Have you ever seen a redhead wear lilac? And just look at how it hangs on her."
"Well," Karen looked across to the woman laughing with Richard. "It is true that style doesn't flatter her body..."
"I never noticed that before. Lizzy really doesn't have much of a body."
Darcy felt a strange jolt when Charles rose to Lizzy's defense. "I think..."
"I think Elizabeth Bennet has a very nice figure and impeccable taste." His mother's voice was as sharp as her eyes as they measured Julia from toe to head. "Leaving something to the imagination is far preferable to leaving nothing." She glanced at Karen with a look of mere tolerance. "Wouldn't you agree Ms. Snuggle?"
Thankfully, the house lights dimmed and rose. The Phantom of the Opera directed and produced by Jack Thomas began and the evening finally was underway.
"Three minutes, Caroline." Tim yelled as he walked through the backstage of the theater. Caroline winced. There was no way she could actually go through with this ---she was going to fall flat on her face --- she was going to forget where her blocking was--- she was going to croak like a toad --- she was going to ruin Jack's production... She hung onto the edges of her dresser and faced her reflection. Get a grip on yourself, Caroline. That is when she noticed the single yellow rose and a small envelope sitting on her vanity. With shaking hands, she tore the tiny envelope and smiled at the familiar handwriting-
Remember what Jack said - pretend we are all naked.
And don't forget, Caroline, have fun with it!
Taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly, she made her way to the stage. "Okay, Lizzy. The audience is all naked --- and I'm ready to have some fun..."
When the curtain finally rose, it revealed the shadowy innards of the Paris Opera House. The actors stood perfectly still until the auctioneer hammered his gavel home. "Lot 665: A music box discovered in the vaults and is still in working order. Who will start the bidding?"
Jack outbid the others and finally obtained Lot 665 for 5 schillings. Upon opening the lid, the lilting melody of the "Music of the Night" began to fill the auditorium. "Every detail exactly as she said...will you still play, when the rest of us our dead?"
"Lot 666: A chandelier. We are told that this is the very chandelier that figures in that famous disaster." Again, the auctioneer had Jack's full attention. "Our workshops have restored it and I suggest that we may perhaps frighten the ghost of so many years ago with a little illumination..."
When the overture began, Lizzy felt goose bumps prickle her flesh. The stage was bathed in bright light as the chandelier rose to stop high above the stage. When Caroline made her entrance a second later, Lizzy squeezed Richard's hand tightly brimming with excitement for her friend.
Darcy realized he had never seen Caroline so poised, so sure of herself - and he was privately glad that she had, at last, found her "niche." He had to admit he was impressed. With her voice behind the lyrics, "Think Of Me" felt personal...as if the message was meant especially for him alone.
Think of me, think of me fondly when we've said our goodbye
Remember me once in a while; please promise me, you'll try.
When you find that, once again, you long to take your heart back and be free
If you ever find that moment spare a though for me...
We never said our love was evergreen, or as unchanging as the sea
But if you can still remember, stop and think of me...
Think of all the things we've shared and seen ---
The bittersweet memories of their years together nearly brought tears to Darcy's eyes. He remembered the first time he had ever seen Caroline when he had come home from the Academy with her twin brother, Chris. He remembered the way her blue eyes danced over him...the way her lips curved into a smile. God, he had never seen a woman as beautiful as the then sixteen-year old Caroline. He remembered that summer vividly. Their first date, their first kiss, their first time...and it brought back another memory...the first time she had whispered she loved him. He had never intended to hurt Caroline - and he had had always felt that he would "grow to love" her. After all, how could someone as "right" as Caroline -with her pedigree, her beauty and her money...his equal in so many ways- fail to capture his heart?
Don't think of all the things which might have been...
Think of me, think of me waking silent and resigned
Imagine me trying too hard to put you from my mind
Recall those days look back on all those times,
Think of the things we'll never do -
There will never be a day when I won't think of you...
As he watched Jack claim her hand on the stage below him, Darcy knew instinctively that Caroline had found someone who could respond properly to her whispered "I love you" and the thought comforted him.
Anne did not find much comfort in the performance. Her temple throbbed so painfully that she could barely hold her eyes open and shutting her eyes left her alone with her thoughts. Even though she was fond of the Smiths, Anne could barely hide her delight when Meegan Smith had told her that Caroline had broke up with Darcy. Then, Nationals had seemed so promising. The way Elizabeth hugged Darcy after his race, the way they looked at each other over the dinner table at that terrible restaurant...everything seemed like it was coming together so perfectly until she happened to see the ring. She rubbed her temple hard trying to rub the memory of the woman's angry words.... you are a sad, bitter woman, Mrs. Williams and I am sorry for you.
She had made a big mistake leaving Florida without making Elizabeth understand that she was not an enemy but an ally. But, George had been adamant that she should not interfere where it was clear Darcy had no wish for them. So, she had waited for the perfect opportunity to present itself to throw herself back into the path of Elizabeth Bennet. Anne had thought tonight was a sure fire plan. Across the aisle, she found Richard with her eyes. Not for one minute did she honestly believe that her nephew had made plans he could not cancel. Frustration was coiling in her like a live snake. The crescendo of the music felt like it was going to crack her skull but there was nothing she could do about the pain until intermission.
You will curse the day you did not do
All that the phantom asked of you.....!
So entranced was she in the performance, Jane nearly jumped out of her seat when the chandelier crashed to the stage. The curtain slowly lowered cutting the audience off from the stage and the lights rose back to normal levels. "Music of the Night" pumped softly through the overhead speakers announcing intermission. Jane heard Charlotte say, "I can't get over how much Caroline has improved...and she was good to begin with..."
Jane heard Lizzy comment. "Caroline is just incredible...I'm so envious of her voice."
"She is something." Richard agreed as he shepherded the small group toward the stairs. "How about getting some refreshments?"
"Give me a break - it isn't like she is Sarah Brightman or anything!" Jane said bitterly under her breath. Michael stopped her before she could follow the others into the lobby. "Do you think Lizzy is going to appreciate you talking like that about Caroline?"
Jane flushed. "Whose side are you on, Mikey?"
"Do I have to be one a side? Why can't we all just get along?" He wiggled his eyebrows hoping to make her smile but seeing her exasperation, he sighed, "I just don't understand why you can't let Caroline bask in her success for one night? I really don't under this insecurity of yours, Jane. You are a beautiful, talented woman...."
"You really think I'm talented?" Jane asked skeptically.
"I certainly do. I told your I think your drawings are simply magnificent..."
"That's just doodling..." She eyed her shoes. "That's not singing operas..."
"You shouldn't underestimate the value of your gifts...I'm not an art critic or anything..." He saw a small smile curve her lips. "But I know what I like and I think your drawings are terrific. I think you should try getting into the art program here ---"
She rolled her eyes as she climbed the stairs that led to the lobby. "Oh, my aunt would just love that." She froze and Michael thought she looked as if she had seen a ghost. "Jane, what is it?"
"My aunt..." Her voice trembled slightly. "Anne...she's here."
"Where?" Michael swept the lobby for the notorious "aunt" who both Richard and Jane disliked. Jane moved away from him, "I think she just went into the bathroom...."
When she was sure everyone was out of the bathroom, Anne swallowed her friendly black pills with a hand full of cold water. She discarded the Dixie cup into the trash receptacle and comforted herself with the knowledge that she just had to fight the pain for a little while longer before there would be blissful numbness. The bathroom door opened and Anne turned at the soft swoosh of it closing. Jane stopped short in the doorway. Instead of a proper greeting, her niece blurted, "I was looking for Lizzy..."
"I haven't seen her..." Anne glanced at her perfectly manicured hands willing them to stop shaking. She felt the nausea rise in her, but she fought it back. She could not get sick...would not get sick in front of Jane. "I imagine that she is avoiding me."
Jane's forehead wrinkled. "Why would she avoid you?"
"I am not in the mood for this...." Anne ran a hand over her forehead. "You know your friend is obviously not eager to be in my company after what happened at Nationals..."
"And what happened at Nationals?" Jane waited, but Anne was obviously did not want to answer. "I asked you a question. What happened? What did you do to Lizzy?"
"What type of game are you playing here?" Anne narrowed her eyes hoping to bring her world into focus despite the pain. "Do you honestly expect me to believe Elizabeth never told you about our...our minor disagreement? That she kept it from you?" As soon as the words left her mouth, Anne realized the truth. Elizabeth had never breathed a word of their argument to her niece. Why would she? What I said would have hurt Jane terribly.
Anne's brief gratitude to Elizabeth Bennet melted under the heat of Jane's glare. "You really are something, you know that? It isn't enough that you make our family miserable, but you couldn't resist attacking my BEST friend too. I wish I had never begged her to come to Pemberley. I wish she had never met you --- you don't know how much it pains me to admit you are my kin." Jane turned on her heel and stormed from the bathroom.
Anne's composure broke the minute the door swung shut behind her young niece.
"With no one graduating out," Kyle said, "We have a shot at the tournament next year."
"We should be a shoe in for sure next year." Richard agreed. "Coach told me that Roan Smouth is transferring here and he is almost as good as his brother, Taggert."
Kyle added, "Not to mention that freshman from Tennessee Coach signed last week."
"How tall is he...6'9"...6'10" ?" Charles asked.
Richard laughed, "Hell, I don't care as cares as long as he can shoot and block!"
"Sorry to break this up, boys, but I need to borrow my cousin for a minute." Jane said as she appeared alongside Richard. As soon as Jane found a quiet little alcove, she pulled him aside and asked. "Where's Lizzy?"
"Charlotte forgot her camera in her car and Lizzy went with her to get it." Richard frowned. "What's wrong with you, Jane?"
"Why didn't anyone tell me that our dear Aunt was going to be here tonight?"
"I'm sorry, but..." Richard glanced over his shoulder to make sure no one would overhear him. "Lizzy asked if I wouldn't mind if we came with Bill and Charlotte instead. I'm sorry I didn't consult you, but I didn't think you'd care to go with them..."
"Believe me, I wouldn't have! I just got the shock of my life walking into the bathroom and seeing Anne..." She crossed her chest with her arms. "Now, tell me everything you know about the argument Lizzy had with our dear Aunt...."
" I don't know much, but it must have been pretty bad. We both know how charming Anne can be." Jane snorted, "All I know is that on New Year's Eve Anne demanded a "private meeting" with Lizzy in the library and the next thing I know, Lizzy is on a plane back to Kentucky...."
Jane wrinkled her nose in confusion. "So, you think their argument over Nationals was a continuation of the one they had on New Year's Eve?"
"Argument at Nationals?" Richard's forehead wrinkled, then his jaw clenched. "Are you telling me that Anne lit into her again at Nationals?"
"Yes, I am. Lizzy didn't tell you about it either?"
"No, she didn't." Richard's nostrils flared and his eyes glittered in anger. "But I would bet money that Darcy knows what happened...haven't you noticed how strange he has been acting toward Lizzy the last few weeks? Distant?" Jane was about to say he had been acting strange the entire year, but stopped when she saw Lizzy coming toward them.
"Whew! That was a hike! Bill parked about a mile away ...running in heels is dangerous!" Lizzy laughed as she wrapped a hand around Richard's arm. "Are you guys ready to find out what the Second Act has in store for us?" As if heeding her suggestion, the theater's lights dimmed and rose announcing the end of intermission.
Masquerade! Hide your face so the world will never find you!
Masquerade! Look around - There's another mask behind you!
Masquerade! You can fool any friend who ever knew you! *
There were times, lately, when Jane wondered if she knew her best friend at all. When had Lizzy started keeping secrets from her? She glanced at Lizzy who was completely entranced by Caroline's performance. Had she told Caroline about the disagreement with her aunt? She tried to ignore the knife of jealousy that cut through her. Even though she told herself that it was childish to be so threatened by Caroline, she could not bring herself to overcome her own growing insecurity.
Was it any wonder she was so insecure?
Jane had promised herself after watching her mother's trials and tribulations with men that she would never expose herself to such pain. She was different. She would never let a man become her master! Instead of avoiding the opposite sex, she dated with an enthusiasm that even her own mother was hard pressed to equal. The difference was that SHE dictated the terms of a relationship---SHE decided when a relationship was started and SHE decided when it ended. She was in control of her heart and her mind.
That is until she met Charles Bingley.
She had deluded herself into thinking that he would be like all the other men before him. Why wouldn't he? She had never met a man that she could not have...never met a man who resisted her charm. Charles would chase her, desire her...just like the others. Her plan to gain his affection was simple in design. She would make him burn with jealousy and when he came crawling to her, she would feel less for him.
Thinking back now, with a maturity gained from a broken heart, Jane realized the folly of her own game. She had started with every intention of conquering his heart, but had never considered the possibility that he could conquer hers. Her first mistake was confusing his kindness for a weakness when actually it was his greatest strength. He was her superior in character...and essentials. Instead, of being jealous of her many dates, he actually introduced her to some of his acquaintances that he deemed "nice" guys. After all, the little cousin of his best friends could not just go out with anyone.
Past the point of no return - no backward glances:
the games we played till now are at an end...
Past all though of "if" or "when" **
What a disaster the Christmas Dance turned out to be! She had been so smug about Charles that it never crossed her mind that he did not return her feelings. Instead of plotting about how she was going to get her cousin together with her best friend, she should have been telling him how she felt about HIM. She should have told him that even though she valued his friendship she longed for something infinitely more. She had been so confident that was really what he wanted. Why else would he have stuck around all these months listening to all the shortcomings of her long string of one-date wonders?
Jane had never known pain until she saw Julia plant her silicon-injected lips on his. She waited for Charles to push her away, but as their kiss lingered Jane felt her ribs collapse onto her heart. She was frozen by some sick-sort of fascination until Julia broke off the kiss and smiled, Jane was sure of it, directly at her over Charles' shoulder.
Jane had not lost complete hope until the New Year's Dance. She could not help but think if Caroline had not insisted on inviting Julia to Connecticut things might have turned out differently with Charles. Her tormented heart added. How could Lizzy like a woman who had helped to destroy her chances with Charles? The irony of the situation was not lost on Jane. Hadn't she had deliberately plotted break Darcy and Caroline up? And, now she was upset because Caroline had promoted a friend to Charles, who was not dating anyone. She grimaced remembering one of Lizzy's favorite mottoes: Do onto others as you would have done to you.
Watching the play, it was hard for Anne not to draw parallels between herself and the Phantom. They both ignored the wishes of those they claimed "to love." They both were twisted by their own anger at things they were powerless to control. They both had their scars --- only she hid hers with expensive clothing instead of a mask.
Down once more to the dungeon of my black despair
The first surgery had forced them to give up her dream of filling Pemberley with children. Anne, two children are enough for us. If you want more, we could always adopt...
George had been strong for her, but she heard the tremor in his voice as he told their children.
Down we plunge to the prison of my mind!
She would never forget when the light in her then thirteen year old son's eyes dimmed as the word cancer hung in the air. Georgiana, who at two was not capable of understanding the word, was capable of understanding the look on her brother's face. Anne remembered holding her daughter until she had cried herself to sleep in her arms.
Down that path into darkness deep as hell!
She had given up her left breast Darcy's junior year at the Academy. The following year her right. You are still the most beautiful woman in the world. George had said one rainy night when he found her standing in front of her mirror looking at a body that was strangely foreign to her. He ran his hands tenderly over the scars before wrapping his strong arms around her tiny waist. You are the only woman I have ever wanted to share my life. George swept her off her feet and carefully laid her on their bed. There he loved her with so much tenderness that she was forced to accept the sincerity of his words. It was only later, after he thought she had drifted off to sleep, that she felt rather than heard his own silent racking cries as he pressed her tightly to his chest.
Why, you ask, was I bound and chained in this cold and dismal place? ***
Why her? How many times had she asked herself that question? It struck Anne now that she had never once questioned her good fortune before she had become sick. Unlike the young woman she had come to admire, she had been raised by two loving parents. She had, before marrying George, more money than she would ever use in four lifetimes. She had a wonderful son and a beautiful daughter. She had a younger sister...nieces and nephews. Instead of enjoying the blessings she had in her life, she had been caught up in all that she had lost. Elizabeth's words flooded back through her. "You spoke of the value of love, family and friendship, but do you even know what they are yourself?"
Yes, she did. She had just forgotten.
She glanced over at the woman flanked by Richard and Jane and hoped that she would be given the opportunity to make them all see that she had finally remembered what was important in her life.
* - Masquerade "Phantom of the Opera" by Andrew Lloyd Webber
**- Point Of No Return "Phantom of the Opera" by Andrew Lloyd Webber
***- Down Once More "Phantom of the Opera" by Andrew Lloyd Webber
****- Track Down This Murder "Phantom of the Opera" by Andrew Lloyd Webber
Waiting in the lobby for Richard to return from the coatroom with her wrap, Lizzy spied Darcy standing alone against the far wall. As she made her way through the throng of bodies separating them, it was obvious he was too engrossed on searching the crowd milling in front of him to notice her approach. Feeling a bit mischievous, she placed a hand on his arm and whispered simultaneously in his ear, "Boo."
"Elizabeth." She felt his biceps tightened then relax under her fingertips before he turned to face her. "You startled me."
"Really?" She couldn't quite manage a look of contrition. "And WHO were you looking for so intensely that you didn't notice me?"
"Looking for?" His arm tingled from their brief contact. "I wasn't looking for anyone."
Lizzy shook her head solemnly then gave way to a smile. "You are such a horrible liar."
"I guess I don't have much experience at it." He wondered what her reaction would be if he dared tell her the truth. "Elizabeth, I was looking for you."
"So, you aren't going to voluntarily tell me WHO you were looking for..." She continued to teas e him for it was not often such an opportunity presented itself. And, seeing Darcy discomposed was strangely exciting to her. "We have our wayz of getting such information Heir Williams." Seeing his amused smile, she dropped her fake accent. "Maybe, I can guess?"
He clucked his tongue. "Can I stop you from trying?"
"Of course not." Her green eyes glowed with amusement. "I bet it is a woman..."
He sighed with overdone disinterest. "You have a 50% chance with sex."
"Let's see." She stared in the direction he had when she first discovered him. "It would have to be a beautiful woman."
He considered her assumption for a moment. Not every man would consider Elizabeth a beautiful woman. She had an almost boyish frame-small and petite. Her bottom teeth were slightly crooked and she had a tiny scar on her chin. Her eyes were definitely her best feature, but then he remembered her lips...and, how could he have forgotten her eyebrows. Never had an arched eyebrow affected him. When she had turned back to him waiting for his response, he conceded. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."
"Aha!" She said with an air of finality. "Turning to poetry and squirming, it must be a woman."
"Making me squirm seems to be one of your favorite past times."
"My, what an ego trip you have developed! Like, you squirming could be my favorite past time...Gah!" It was hard for him to not wince at the comment. She narrowed her eyes at him, "Though you are a crafty man, Darcy Williams, dodging my questions in such a fashion."
"A man must have his talents."
"Yes, I suppose he must." She agreed but a the wicked gleam returned to her eyes. "So, who is she?"
"I don't know what you are talking about."
"You should stick to honesty. It suits you better." His laughter came as a shock to his own ears and she took it as encouragement. "Tisk, tisk. And just what would your disciples do if they caught you telling falsehoods?"
"My disciples?"
"Charles, Michael, Richard, Jane..." She tapped the fingers of her right hand with her index finger of her left before dropping them both arms to her sides. "They take your opinion as law around these parts, bucko. They all trust you explicitly."
"You weren't on the list, I notice." He cocked his head to one side, "Don't you trust me explicitly?"
She considered for a moment. "I think I'll reserve my judgment until I know you better."
"Your answer pains me." Darcy covered his heart with his hand. "Here I thought we were already the best of friends...."
"You know we are! The very best of friends! I wouldn't have it any other way." She impulsively hugged him and Darcy buried his pain in her auburn curls. Even though he wanted to pull her closer to him, he stepped away from her and grabbed the first thought that went through his befuddled brain. "Did you enjoy the play?"
"Yes, I did. It was phenomenal! The music, the sets, the costumes...all of it was..." She saw the amused smile that curved his lips and blushed. "I get so excited sometimes I run on and on...Richard is probably going to complain to you that I spent the entire night going on about how wonderful Caroline was..." She saw his eyes cloud and silently kicked herself. Why had she brought up Caroline?
The thought of Richard spending the whole night with her felt like ground glass in his stomach. An unsatisfying silence descended between them. He cleared his throat. "Where is Richard?"
"He went to get my coat." He nodded and tried to keep his eyes off of her.
She racked her own brain for another topic. A safe topic. "So, freshman year is almost over...only one week left."
"Yes, it is almost over." She was watching him closely and he forced a tight smile. "Do you have anything exciting planned for summer, Elizabeth?"
"Not really. I'm going home. I've really missed my parents and it will be good to see old friends." Darcy was saddened by her open enthusiasm to return home. "What are you going to do?"
"I'll probably spend some time in the Bahamas before going to Paris..."
"Paris as in Paris, France?" The wistful tone in her voice made him smile.
"Is there any other?" She made a face and he continued, "My mother loves it there and we go every summer while Dad, who hates France, makes surprise visits to most of the subsidiaries of the company. Really, it is not that exciting."
"Not that exciting?" Elizabeth's eyes were wide with disbelief. "How can you be in the 'city of love' and not have your heart captivated by its appeal?" Darcy longed to tell her Paris held nothing as spectacular as the sight of her. "The Louvre? The Eiffel Tower?" He loved when she was so captured by an idea that she forgot to be self-conscious. "I would have thought with your obsession with history that you would love it there..." She halted and he saw her embarrassment spread up her neck. "I'm running on again, aren't I?"
"Not at all." Another silence descended between them.
"Where did Karen go?"
He nodded toward the ladies. "I believe she is powdering something."
It took her a moment to catch her breath and when she did the intensity of his gaze squelched her laughter. Is he mad I laughed? "I was surprised you brought Karen tonight." Seeing him frown, she added quickly, "I mean...she is Caroline's roommate."
Darcy pocketed his hands, "So?"
"So?" She repeated. He shrugged and she continued, "So? People might suppose that you brought her tonight to make Caroline jealous."
"Is that what you think?" The annoyance flickered on his face as he took her forearms into his hand. "How many times do I have to tell you before you are going to believe me?" He pulled her closer to him. "I don't love her...I've never loved her...I've never felt as much for her as I ---" His breath caught as he realized what he almost said out loud. "If you will excuse me, I think I need to find Karen."
Lizzy watched as Darcy widened the distance between them. How was he ever going to be able to move on if he couldn't admit his heartbreak ? There were times, in his most unguarded moments, that the pain in his eyes touched her. An overwhelming sense of pity for him surged through her while, paradoxically, she could not help but wonder at his strength. How it must hurt seeing the woman he loved in the arms of another man.
When Caroline emerged from backstage, Lizzy found herself the recipient of an enthusiastic hug. "Lizzy, you will never know how much your note helped me get through tonight." Caroline released her and made the introductions to her mother and father before pulling a handsome blonde man forward. "And this is my twin, Chris."
"Lizzy, I must say that we have been most anxious to meet you." Caroline's mother, Meegan's voice was soft. "We have heard almost non-stop praise about you."
"I believe your daughter has put too much faith in me."
Tom, her father, added. "Carol is not the only member of your fan club."
Confused by that comment, she was grateful when Chris steered the conversation, "What did you think of my sister's performance ?"
"She was the best part of the entire production."
"And here, I thought, I was the best part of the production." As the group laughed collectively at his comment, Jack kissed his girlfriend's cheek saying, "I hate to interrupt, but Tim wants to introduce you to his parents before they leave. His mother has an early day at the store tomorrow."
"Oh, yes, I want to thank them for their help with the sets." Before Jack could whisk her off to meet the Kearns, Caroline turned back to Lizzy. "We are going to find someplace to get a bite to eat after they close up the theater. Do you want to come along?"
"I don't know." Lizzy nibbled on her lip. "Richard mentioned he wanted to discuss something with me. And, I have to get up early to begin studying for finals." Seeing her friend's disappointment, she offered, "How about a rain check for tomorrow night?"
"I guess!" Caroline gave her another hug. "Thanks again...for everything."
The happy scene of The Kearns making the acquaintance of the Smiths was so distracting that George's voice was entirely unexpected. "You really should reconsider that dinner invitation, Lizzy."
Lizzy tried to keep her voice even when she noticed that not only had George joined her but he had brought his wife along. "And why should I do that, Mr. Williams?"
"Tom Smith is on the Board at Baylor University." Lizzy felt unsettled as George studied her face for a reaction. "I'm sure I don't have to tell you Baylor is the top medical school for cardiovascular medicine in the country. Tom has quite an influence on their admissions department..."
"How nice for him." Lizzy fought to keep the contempt from her voice. "If you would both excuse me, I have a pressing matter that needs my immediate attention."
"Wait! Please." Determined not to be goaded into another fight, Lizzy was about to repeat her earlier excuse when Anne cut her off. "George didn't mean what he said the way you took it. He was merely trying to point out spending time with Tom would help impress on him the depth of your talents. For how could anyone spend time with you and not be impressed by your intelligence...and your concern for others?"
Lizzy was amazed into silence by Anne's charitable words. She was trying to compose a response, when she felt Richard's arm slid on her waist. "Lizzy, are you about ready?"
George moved toward his nephew. "There is no need to rush out the door..."
"I'm sorry, uncle," Elizabeth heard the strain in Richard's tone as he helped her with her wrap, "but I REALLY NEED to speak with Lizzy in PRIVATE."
Once outside in the cool spring air, she relaxed against Richard, "Thank you."
"No, problem. Didn't I tell you I will right all the wrongs?"
She nodded. "Yes, you did."
When he caught a trace of her perfume, he impulsively nuzzled her neck. She pulled out of his arms a blank look on her face. "You know I don't believe in public displays of affection." The problem was she didn't believe in private displays of affection either. He sighed loudly and she shut her eyes. When she opened them, she pulled him down into a warm kiss. He held only her gently afraid if he pressed her too hard she would pull away from him. When she ended the kiss, he cupped her face and tried to read her expression in the moonlight.
When Darcy escorted Karen to the front door of her dormitory, she gave him a timid smile. "Walk me up?"
His eyes immediately went to Elizabeth's dark window. Richard is going to complain I spent the night talking about Caroline. Darcy seriously doubted that Caroline was going to be the subject for the entire night. He returned Karen's timid smile. "Why not?"
She took his hand in hers and led him through the lobby, up three flights of stairs, and directly to her bedroom door. As he followed her into her room, she flipped on the lights and slid out of her heels. Trying to find a subject of conversation, he let his eyes wonder her side of the cramped room before they came to rest on a pair of pom-poms sitting on her bookshelf. "Have you cheered a long time?" He ran his hand through the blue and white ribbons.
"Since I was ten. I've been taking gymnastics that long too," She added as she turned on the small stereo. A soft lilting melody danced through the speaker, "You'd be amazed at how limber I am."
He ignored that comment and intensified the exploration of her side of the room. He looked at the small collection of pictures most of which were of her in various cheerleading poses. Not a single book anywhere to be seen. He felt her hand slid over his hip and stop flat against his stomach. "I'm glad you came up with me."
He turned to face her and she put her arms around his neck. She licked her lips slowly. "Kiss me, Darcy."
He hesitated for a moment before he ground her lips under his. He was hungry for something to stave off the pain he was carrying around inside of him. He caught her lower lip with his teeth wishing it was a lighter shade of pink. He ran his chin along hers wishing it had the familiar small scar. He tried to block out her floral scent and imagine instead it was Obsession.
"Caroline is staying with her parents at their hotel," Karen sounded breathless. "You could stay with me..." She traced a finger down the front of his shirt, "Neither one of us has to be alone tonight."
Without a word, Darcy retook her mouth determined to have his mind, for once, vanquish his heart.
When had I become so weak? So pathetic? When had I become capable of doing what I almost did with Karen?
He used to be the strong one; the one whose council others sought. He had always fancied himself to be noble. As he stared at his reflection in the mirror, he admitted he was less of a man now than he had been when he had first stepped foot on the Xavier campus all those months ago. The discipline he had honed in the academy had been set aside as he allowed his emotions to dictate terms over his reason.
It's no wonder my life is in such a state of chaos.
He had lost his focus on who he was. He was the heir to Pemberley.. the last male of the Williams' lineage. He had forgotten the expectations that were placed on him. He had no time for "larks of fantasy" --- no matter how pleasant those distractions were. Sometimes a man, he reasoned, had to make painful sacrifices to remain focused on the things that were most important.
Didn't I give up basketball? Didn't I walked away from basketball when I realized I couldn't excel on the court and in the classroom?
He began to brush his teeth. He had to evict Elizabeth from his mind and from his heart and reclaim his sanity. Since the first time he had laid eyes on her, he had careened out of control from embarrassment to jealousy to anger to envy to obsession. He rinsed. Not once had he reacted with caution and his life, as a result, had become a roller coaster of extremes. He spit forcefully into the basin. It felt as if those extremes were slowly destroying him.
He dried his face on a towel composing a plan. It was simple. He had to distance himself from her. He had to have time to recover himself. If he did not possess the fortitude to do it, he could always depend on the summer break to do it for him. He slid his long legs into pajama bottoms and flipped off his bathroom lights before plodding off to his bed.
One more week and Elizabeth Bennet would be little more than a memory.
When light bathed the room twenty minutes later, Darcy rose on his elbows blinking back the unexpected glare. Without a word, Richard made for the mini-refrigerator, where he yanked opened the door and retrieved not one, but two beers. "What are you doing?"
"It would appear that I intend on getting sloppy drunk."
"Are you okay?" Not sure if his cousin had heard him since he did not answer, Darcy asked again. "Richard, are you all right?"
"No. No, I'm not all right." Darcy saw his hand tremble as he opened the second beer. "Darce, I just broke up with Lizzy..."
"You broke up with L--Elizabeth?" His shock was not only a result of his cousin's unexpected statement, but also his repulsion at his own heart's sick rejoicing. In lieu of an answer, Richard reached into the refrigerator retrieving a third beer. Concern flooded through Darcy. "Richard, maybe, you should slow down..."
"Maybe, you can go to h***!!!" Darcy winced at the tone, but it was soon followed by a garbled apology. "I had to do it Darcy... I just couldn't live with it anymore...."
"Live with what?" Darcy inched his feet over the side of his bed, sitting up.
"The not knowing! The not knowing the so many little things that she kept locked away from me! The not really knowing her at all." He laughed bitterly continuing, "Do you know what she said when I told her I wanted to break up?" Darcy shook his head. He had no idea. "She asked me if we could still be friends ! FRIENDS! She stood there crying and asked if we could still be friends!"
"Everything finally made sense to me. She felt terrible not because we were breaking up, but because she didn't love me! She actually was torturing herself, because she couldn't give me what I wanted."
Richard became strangely penitent. "I was so selfish! Deep down, I knew she was unhappy with me, that she was trying too hard to please me ..." Darcy was ill prepared for the tears that streamed down his cousin's face. "She is so afraid to depend on anyone...afraid to let anyone too close to her. The fear in her eyes every time I touched her...."
"You're just upset right now. In the morning, you will call her and tell her you made a mistake. Then, things will be just like they were before..."
"That's just it, Darcy." Richard wiped his tears with the back of his hand. "I don't want it to be like it was. I want a woman who doesn't change the subject every time I bring up her past. I want a woman won't shrink from me when I try to touch her. I want a woman who will trust me, I deserve that...every man does." Richard threw back the contents of his beer. "And, Lizzy needs more than I can give her. She needs someone to connect with her... someone who is patient enough to give her space, but strong enough to break down the walls she has carefully erected around her heart."