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For four weeks into the Spring Semester, Elizabeth and Darcy did little more than exchange hostile glares. Darcy was sure he was in pure hell. During the day, Caroline looked at him more and more often with a strange expression. At night back at the dorm, Richard barely spoke to him. The worst was Elizabeth. Without a word or a look his way, she haunted his nights.
At first, Elizabeth let Darcy's behavior dictate hers. But by the end of the first month at school, she was growing concerned with his flagging Calculus grades. She tried to convince herself that was why she checked and rechecked his homework before she put the grade in Dr. Wingate's planner. She knew that at his present rate he was going to have difficulty bringing his C up to a B that was the minimum required to stay in the Pre-Med Program. She knew that he would not willingly come to the Lab where she worked for help. She would have to think of a way to help him without him thinking she was helping him....she smiled for the first time in weeks. She would help Michael-----since they curiously had the same problems with their homework assignments.
"You make it seem so simple." Michael looked at the problem with understanding. Elizabeth was exhausted. She had just spent her entire lunch hour going over every question Michael had and Darcy had not looked their way even once. "Darcy, did you hear Elizabeth's explanation of problem 20?"
"No, I wasn't paying attention."
"You are just doing it backwards..." She offered. He did not even look up from his notebook. She wanted to scream, but instead she stood. "So, you would rather not know how to solve a problem then accept my help?" He shrugged. Michael looked back at his friend frowning, "Darcy, you are a complete idiot."
The next day when the grades were posted, Elizabeth let her finger slid over the names of the CAL II students. She was just curious. She knew he had always been at the top of the list....he had been there all through Fall. She frowned. How did I know that? Her frown disappeared when her mouth fell open in shock. An "F." Darcy had gotten an F! His damned pride. For a second, she felt angry but it gave way to an intense sadness. Then, she felt determination sweep through her.
Darcy wondered into Calculus class and took his seat. How was he going to face his father? He had never failed at anything in his entire life. A Williams never failed. He ran a hand through his hair. He glanced out onto the snow covered campus. Maybe, I should just drop out rather than humiliate my family.
"Dr. Wingate?" Darcy came fully alert at the sound of her voice. When he heard a classmate named Colt whistle softly, Darcy felt anger boil up in him. Her overalls hanging casually on her slender frame made her seem so innocent and vulnerable.
"Oh, Elizabeth. Yes, yes....you wanted to talk to me before class...I'm sorry...I must have forgotten...Please come on in, Lizzy. We can have that talk right now..." Dr. Wingate put his chalk down in its tray, "Class, this is Elizabeth Bennet. She works in the math lab...."
"Now I know why Michael goes to lab every night," Colt nudged Darcy.
"Shoot, if I had known she was there, I'd have gone myself." Brad added.
Darcy felt the grip on his pencil tighten in anger. She placed a tall stack of papers on Dr. Wingate's desk before handing a packet to the teacher. "Lizzy, what is all of this?"
"Study guides."
"Study guides? We never discussed......Did we?" Dr. Wingate obviously was trying to remember as he flipped through the packet. "Well, let's go into my office...."
"I'd take her into my office too!" Colt snickered. Darcy turned in his seat leveling his trademark Williams' glare in the young man's direction. "Maybe I need to make time after class to teach you two how to act around a lady?" Michael was surprised at the hostility in his friend's voice, but totally agreed. Colt paled and sputtered, "Darce....Man, I'm sorry...we ...we....uh...didn't know....I....ehm..sorry."
About fifteen minutes later, the door to Dr. Wingate's office opened and Elizabeth exited smiling happily. "Thanks, Dr. Wingate. I'm sure you won't regret your decision."
Darcy's eyes followed her as she exited the classroom without so much as a backward glance. Dr. Wingate handed out the packets she had delivered and then took his spot behind his lectern. "I've decided to change my test policy...I'm going to throw out the lowest test score this semester.....for those of you who are doing well, keep it up. For those of you who did not do your best on the first test, this is a second chance......" The rest of Dr. Wingate's speech was lost to Darcy. He knew that Elizabeth probably felt responsible for the half of the class that had failed the first test. Suddenly, he felt his face flush with shame. That meant she knew he failed.
Elizabeth finished the grading homework papers and stretched. It was going on ten and she was tired. And, she thought to herself, she was starving. She had skipped breakfast and lunch trying to get the study packet together. Dinner was sacrificed to squeeze in a swim with Kylie. She flipped off the lights and locked the office. Pulling her scarf tight, she greeted the cold winter air with a shiver.
"Elizabeth?" She heard his voice and turned. Darcy Williams was standing by the door she had just come through. It was clear he had waited outside in the cold for her. "Do you need a ride?"
He saw the look of surprise on her face. He stammered, "Richard would be very upset if I let you walk home by yourself ....it is too late for you to be out by yourself...."
"I assure you I can take care of myself," She saw him stiffen at her words and she softened. "Really, I do it all the time." She felt his hand on her elbow stopping her. "If you walk, good manners would demand I walk with you. And I'm cold." She saw the sincerity in his eyes and gave him a tired smile. Darcy was encouraged, "Do I take that as a yes?"
"Sure." He led her around the south side of the building to his parked silver Mazda. Elizabeth clicked her seatbelt home and waited for him to say something. As the minutes and the scenery passed, she wondered if they were going to get all the way back to her dorm without talking at all. At the light before the turn to her dorm, she glanced at the Denny's sign through the windshield and her stomach growled.
"What are you doing?" she asked but it was obvious as they entered the parking lot that he was stopping. She did not move as he parked. As he came to her door, she said, "Look, you really don't have to do this." Darcy read the effect of embarrassment on her face. "I stopped because I'm hungry and they have the best food in town.....I guess you are just going to have to keep me company."
"Well..." She was debating nibbling her lip, "Okay."
A moment after they seated themselves in the booth, their waitress took their order. She ordered a cheeseburger, French fries and a strawberry shake. He ordered milk and cherry pie. Elizabeth laughed, "I thought you were starving."
Darcy was spared the need to respond when their waitress returned with their drinks. She immediately started the familiar habit of hers, using the straw as a spoon. He smiled in spite of himself. "What?" she asked. He shrugged and silence descended on the table. When her food arrived, he tried hard not to watch her eat. But, soon, he found the trip each French fry made from the ketchup to her mouth, irresistible. She caught him staring when she picked up her burger. She held it out to him as an offering, "You wanna bite?" She asked holding out her cheeseburger as an offering to him.
"No, thank you." He could barely look into her face. Her smile was like the sun.
"You sure," she whispered, "It's really, really good and really bad for you too...."
"I'm sure," he glanced at his pie and before he could stop himself offered, "Do you want a bite of my pie?"
"I thought you'd never ask." She opened her mouth and leaned forward.
He wondered if she felt his hand shake when her mouth closed around the tines of his fork. "Good ?" His voice sounded really strange to his own ears.
"Very," she said opening her eyes to him.
Something changed between them in that one instant. Something freed his tongue and he pretended that she was not Richard's girlfriend. He pretended that she actually enjoyed his company. For the first time in their acquaintance, conversation flowed easily between them. At first, they talked about math, Dr. Wingate, the upcoming track season. Then, they moved to books, politics and theater. On the last subject, Darcy watched her face blossom. He told her of his trip to England where he saw the Royal Theater. As she begged for details, he tried, for her sake, to remember everything he had seen. She leaned back against the cushion of the booth sighing, "If I could be anything, Darcy. I think I would have liked to be an actress..."
"And here I thought you wanted to be a doctor..." His voice was teasing.
"Well, first I thought I wanted to be an acrobat," She moved forward in her seat and he fed her another bite of his pie, "I was six and my dad took me to the circus..."
"And what happened?"
"I'm scared of heights." She laughed at her own failing, then said, "When I was seven, I wanted to be an astronaut......but.."
"You're afraid of heights." He finished for her. She shot him another smile.
"Exactly. And you? What did you want to be when you grow up?"
He thought back smiling. "I first wanted to be a firefighter."
"Really, do tell." Darcy realized with regret that things between them could have always been like this ....from the beginning. "There isn't much to tell." He glanced down at his plate and Elizabeth saw the change in him. She touched his hand. "Then what?"
Did she even know what she was doing to him? He looked at her small hand and swallowed suddenly he was very hot. "I guess then a police officer..."
"So, you always wanted to do something to help people," She drew her straw between her lips and he caught his breath trying to recover.
"Chivalrous Darcy...that's me." He offered her another bite of his pie and she accepted it. "You never...you never said what happened with the actress thing?"
"You will laugh if I tell you and I will be devastated," Her green eyes gleamed causing his heart to race. "I won't laugh." Her eyebrow arched and he realized he could barely breath. "I promise," he whispered. "What happened?"
"After all this build up I should leave just leave you hanging."
"You're not that cruel." She smiled at him leaning forward on her arm. "Okay, but you promised not to laugh." She pointed to herself. "I get stage fright. I get on stage and the entire English language evaporates. I can't string together two syllables at one time..." He did laugh and she pretended to be hurt. He took her hand in his and something between them clicked. His warm hand swallowed hers and their eyes met. The laughter in the air evaporated as a different type of tension crackled in the air.
"Elizabeth....." This was insane. He had to tell her.
"Elizabeth...I have to tell you.....how much.." Darcy absently ran his thumb over the bridge of her knuckles trying to gain strength to tell her what was in his heart. "I'm sorry....for everything...it was never your fault...you do..." something to me...make me act insane. He had never felt more inadequate in his entire life. She unhinged him. He shut his eyes and tried again. "From the beginning, I've behaved.....You probably think me devoid of every feeling..."
"No, I don't." She squeezed his hand hoping to spare him further distress. "You know we both have behaved badly....." She offered, "Why don't we simply start over. Everything before tonight doesn't matter."
He laughed bitterly, "After all I've said to you...I wouldn't expect....I had no right....and I never meant to insult you...I....." She freed her hand from his and put her finger on his lips. "Hush. No more apologies are necessary....I've all ready forgiven you. As for forgetting, you know a good memory is sometimes quite unpardonable." Then, she freed his lips as easily as she claimed them. "I do have but one request...."
He was powerless to deny her anything. "Anything."
"Now that is a dangerous offer if I every heard one." The smile she gave him made the urge to kiss her run strong through his body.
"What do you want from me, Elizabeth?" When he dared to meet her eyes again, she was regarding him seriously. "I want you to come to math lab if you need help with Dr. Wingate's class...."
He was surprised at her concern for him. "I promise."
"I'm very glad," She drained her milkshake then said, "Something tells me, this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship....."
Beautiful friendship..... He did like the sound of that.
Their waitress took that opportunity to return to their table to check on them. "Can I get you some more milk?" When he shook his head, she looked at Elizabeth, "How about you, honey? Can I get you a slice of pie?"
"No, thanks, I just had his." Elizabeth winked and his heart skipped a beat.
"And, I'm sure you didn't mind one bit, did you?"
"Not in the slightest." He said smiling easily.
The waitress dropped their check and picked up their empty plates. "You all come back and see us really soon...it is not often when we get lovebirds like you two in here....you two are really sweet together." Elizabeth laughed and Darcy smiled at her. Neither corrected the waitress as she headed for her next table.
After Darcy settled their check and escorted her back out to his car, he tried to think of a way to slow their progress back to campus. Lovebirds? He looked at Elizabeth but she had her attention firmly fixed on the passing scenery. As soon as he put the car in park in front of her dorm, she unhooked her seat belt. Before she opened her door, she turned to him. "Thank you for tonight, Darcy.....it meant a lot to me that we've buried the hatchet." Then before he had a chance to respond or walk her to the door, she had all ready crossed half the distance to her front door.
"Me too, Elizabeth." He whispered as he watched her safely enter her lobby. With a heavy heart, he turned his keys in the ignition and made the short drive back to his side of campus.
Caroline glanced down the lunch table at their friends. Everyone at the table was staring at Darcy. She heard Charles ask Michael in a whisper, "What's going on?"
"Maybe he got lucky, " Michael mumbled then caught her annoyed look, "Then again, maybe not."
Julia laughed at his comment then added, "Darcy, must be fond of song birds."
"Love birds?" Darcy looked up from his studies. The entire group erupted in laughter and Caroline read the confusion on his face before he returned to his book. And his uncharacteristic whistling.....One thing was certain, Caroline told herself, Darcy was happier than she had seen him in months. She took a bite of her salad glad that he was finally over his "crush."
Caroline saw Elizabeth enter the cafeteria and she hoped that Lizzy would join their table. Ever since the fiasco at Pemberley, Lizzy avoided eating lunch with Darcy unless Richard was with her. Caroline did not want to admit it but she had missed the easy conversation that seemed to follow Lizzy.
"God, who dresses her?" Julia's voice was catty. "You would think Jane would stop her from going out like that? Caroline, overalls............oh, hi, Lizzy! We were just talking about you." Julia snickered at her and Caroline felt her face turn red. She was aware the entire conversation came to a noticeable halt as Lizzy took the only free seat at the table....next to her. Lizzy looked as if she did not notice the stares she was receiving from her friends and smiled at her, " Caroline, I'm looking for a good song for Morgan's wedding and I thought you might be able to suggest something to me."
She wondered it this was some type of verbal trap. "Me? I'm sure our taste isn't the same." She saw Darcy squirm slightly in his seat. He evidently heard Julia's earlier comments. "Perhaps, you should ask someone else...."
"If you don't suggest something," She heard the hesitation in Lizzy's voice, "How will we ever know if we have anything in common, or not?"
She glanced across the table to Darcy. His brown eyes were almost pleading. Her voice faltered, "I'm actually into Andrew Lloyd Webber stuff right now....."
Lizzy's voice was playful, "Did you know that the theatre department is putting on a student-directed version of The Phantom? They aren't the Royal Theater of England...." Caroline heard Jane choke, "....but they're good. Why don't you audition?"
"I couldn't possibly..." She had never auditioned for anything in her life! She tried to think of a good reason not too while Lizzy fumbled in her backpack. She was surprised when the woman next to her fished out a worn copy of the Musketeer Theater Playbook. "Great! You haven't missed auditions...they are on Monday..."
"If you like theater so much, Lizzy ?" She heard Julia's barely contained laughter, "Why don't you try out yourself? Caroline has better things to do with her time...than try out for...." She broke down into giggles. "a student production....."
Lizzy's eyes narrowed on Julie, but then they quickly returned to her. "So, Caroline. How about it?" It was obvious that Lizzy was determined to get her agreement. "I can come to your audition to give you support....Jane, you and Charlotte wouldn't mind joining me, would you?" She saw the look that passed between the friends. Charlotte smiled at Caroline, "Sure, I'll come."
"How about you Jane?" Lizzy's voice was questioning.
The sound of her name seemed to jar Jane into responding, "Sure."
"Caroline," Julia was still laughing, "I'll come too."
Darcy frowned. His face darkening, "Elizabeth, don't you have class ?"
"Thanks, I nearly forgot the time....." Lizzy stood and grabbed her backpack in one motion. "The auditions are on Monday at six at the theater. And don't try to duck us, Caroline, or we'll come hunting for you."
Watching Elizabeth depart, Caroline was a little shell shocked. What had she gotten herself into? Darcy slammed his text book shut startling her. "You don't want me to audition?"
"I don't care!" He shut his eyes then opened them slowly. "Geez, I'm sorry. Caroline....I want you to do what makes you happy? I think you would really enjoy auditioning..." She thought he looked as if he was going to snap if he stayed another minute. "I've got class to get to....."
She overheard Julia's attempt at conversation with Jane. "I saw Lizzy with Richard in the library last night.....they make such a cute couple..." Her eyes found Darcy as he left the cafeteria. Poor Darcy.
Jack Thomas looked down at the auditorium and sighed. This was much worse than he expected. No one was right for the part of Christine and the entire musical hinged on her performance. She was a woman one man would risk his life and another would be driven over the edge into insanity. She would have to have the right mixture of strength and weakness...she would have to be ....frustrated he ran his hand through his hair...she would have to be impossible to cast. He rubbed his eyes, lowered his hand and there she was.... his vision...his Christine Daae. He sat up and watched her look around. He saw the soft relief on her face as she took a seat next to a brunette and another blonde.
Who was she? Of course, she was the last one to audition. Like the others before her, she went through the introductions. "Hi, I'm Caroline Smith. I'm a freshman. I'm auditioning for the part of Carlotta. I'm going to sing....."
"No." This was not Carlotta. He lied, "The part of Carlotta has been cast."
"Oh." The disappointment was rich on her face. "I guess...um...I'm sorry." When she turned to leave the stage, he leapt from his seat, "Wait!" He quickly closed the distance between them and stepped out of the flood of lights in front of her. Up close, he found her electric blue eyes and blonde hair even more devastating. She wrinkled her nose at the sight of him. Instantly, he became aware of how he must look to her. His T-shirt was torn and hung over his dirty jeans. There was an inch of dirt under his fingernails from working on sets. And he was sure he must smell of sweat. She was staring at him and he cleared his throat. "Since you're here why don't you try 'Think of Me'?"
"Okay." She bit her lip.
He barked into the heavens. "Scene One, Act Two. Think of Me." The music flowed through the speakers and he waited for her to begin anxiously. When she missed her entrance, he was frustrated. "Stop! You missed the introduction....."
She began apologetically. "I've never done this before....and I..."
He held up his hand and the music stopped. "Let's try something different....are you familiar with All I Ask of You?" He saw her nervously glance into the audience. It was not uncommon for people to bring friends for support. He glanced in the direction she had and was not surprised to see Elizabeth Bennet sitting next to her roommate and Charlotte LaSalle. Caroline nodded, "I know the song."
"Good," He turned back to face the sound booth, "Tim?"
"Yeah," Came a muffled reply.
"Act One, Scene Ten...lights, " He took her hand in his, "Ready?"
The blue light that flooded the stage changed the atmosphere immediately. He was transported to a Paris rooftop of long ago. Raoul was trying to comfort his Christine. He made his voice was gentle as a lovers.
No more talk of darkness forget these wide-eyed fears
I'm here, nothing can harm you, my words will warm and calm you
Let me be your freedom, let daylight dry your tears
I'm here, with you, beside you, to guard you and to guide you ------
Please God, don't let her sing like a toad, Jack prayed.
Say you love me every waking moment turn my head with talk of summertime
Say you need me with you now and always promise me that all you say is true That's all I ask of you
Her timid voice was perfect. Christine who was scared to give her heart to Raoul. Jack barely recovered his thoughts in time to sing:
Let me be your shelter, let me be your light.
You're safe! No one will find you....your fears are far behind you
Her voice betrayed a wealth of uncertainty-fear he would leave her.
All I want is freedom, a world with no more night
and you always beside me to hold me and to hide me . . .
Jack had never felt this way before..... He cupped her face with his hands as he sang to her....
Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime
Let me lead you from your solitude
Say you need me with you here, beside you anywhere you go, let me go too
Christine, that's all I ask of you
Her responding voice was confident.
Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime
Say the word and I will follow you
Their voices blended Share each day with me, each night, each morning . . .
Her voice was a whisper capturing him completely. Say you love me . . .
Jack's heart turned over. You know I do . . .
Their voices blended again. Love me - that's all I ask of you
Their voices turned into a crescendo. Anywhere you go, let me go too
Then, back to a whisper. Love me, that's all I ask of you
As the last note faded, Jack blinked several times trying to recover himself. He did not look at her again for fear as he stepped off the stage. "I'll let you know." Quickly, he took the steps back to the control booth as her friends clapped. Caroline was beautiful but that voice...she deserved to be on Broadway.....
Once in the privacy of the control both, he leaned against the door. "Well?" Sometimes what looked and felt good on stage looked different from the audience's perspective. Tim Kearns finished turning down the stage lights and gave him a crooked smile, "She's the one.....We could have hooked up a battery to you two as much electricity was passing between you two.... What do you think, Jack?"
"I think things are definitely looking up," He marked through Christine's name on the casting sheet. "Now, we only need to find a Carlotta. Got any suggestions?"
A week after the second calls were done to find Carlotta, Jack discovered Lizzy studying the cast list in the theater's lobby. He could see she was pleased by the soft smile playing at her lips. "Your know," Jack whispered from behind her, "your friend is going to have to change that major of hers."
"She's that good, isn't she, Jack?"
"She is that good......" He shifted the box of nails he was carrying to his hip, "Do you know if she is seeing anyone?" He noticed the look on her face. "That bad?"
"I don't know if you know him, but she dates Darcy Williams."
His face fell as he looked about the building almost reverently. "Williams...as in the Williams Theater?"
"Yes, I am afraid so...." Lizzy nodded. "They've been together for years..."
"Oh," He wanted to kick himself for being so obvious. He turned down the hall toward the stage, "Well, I have work to do on the set......"
"Yes, you must be busy."
"BUSY BUSY! That's me." He made his way into the dark auditorium. He stared at the backdrop for the night in Paris. He could get Caroline's voice out of his mind.Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime
Let me lead you from your solitude
Say you need me with you here, beside you anywhere you go, let me go too
Caroline, that's all I ask of you
*All I Ask of You. Phantom of the Opera by Andrew Lloyd Webber.
"The final score: Xavier 78. Temple 85...What a disappointing end to such a promising year." Elizabeth was too distracted to actually hear the score. Her heart was heavy with disappointment. Darcy was never going to be able to forgive her for this. How could she have unintentionally set this into motion. How could she have brought such pain to her dear friend. And, that was after all, what Darcy had become. A dear friend. She could not believe how much things had altered in the two months since their Midnight Snack. She had so many wonderful memories of him. The quiet walks back to her dorm after working at the lab...the arguments about where Xavier faired in the NCAA...Track -- where it seemed his mere presence demanded she push herself harder. The late night conversations about inane subjects like who was the guest star in their favorite Scooby Doo episodes....to more academic ones like the exact point a titration turned...to political ones like who was their choice for the upcoming campus elections.
Even when they disagreed, she had to admit his mind fascinated her. No man, no one, for that matter, ever challenged her in the way that Darcy did. And, she was not blind to the benefits of their "friendship." Classes were fun again. Even running, which was starting to feel like work, was enjoyable again. He had a way of taking the pressure off of her for a time...so that when she returned to whatever the chore ...she had renewed energy. Yes, Darcy had been a most welcome and delightful diversion. Had been. It seemed completely unfair that one disclosure---one secret---could unravel the tight stitching of their friendship. She had thought back to the past few hours. The evening had started off so well....
"Just admit it. You'll feel better if you just admit it..." Richard had just sunk his fourth from three-point land putting Xavier ahead of their opponents by twenty points. "Say it, Darcy. 'I was wrong. You are right.'" Her joy was so great that she was doing a victory dance in front of the television inadvertently obscuring his view.
"Do you mind? You aren't made of glass you know. I can't see the television through you..."
She glanced at her posterior. "Well, I've never received any complaints before..."
"You aren't getting any now." Darcy cocked his head to the side grinning, " I couldn't very well say you had a bad bottom, could I? The entire male track team would have my hide. Besides, I couldn't insult my cousin's girl, could I?"
She almost laughed at his explanation. Cousin's girl. It did seem to amaze her with Darcy's vast vocabulary how many times he actually strung that phrase together. If he had said it once during the day, he had said it at least a million times during the last two months. It must be a sign that he is at last finding worth in me. She agreed, "Quite right. It would not due for you to insult me...especially when I'm right. So, no more stalling - admit the error of your ways and I might spare you the punishment you so richly deserve for doubting the superiority of my basketball knowledge."
"They are not in the NCAA tournament yet, Elizabeth." He nodded back to the television. "Temple isn't going to be intimidated because they are trailing at half time."
"Are you delusional, Darcy?" She shook her head, "They are down by twenty...TWO OH...points... it is over, baby. And, with a win tonight, Xavier will be headed for the Tournament."
"If they win tonight, I agree, Xavier should be a shoe in for the tournament. Just don't count your chickens before they are hatched..." She went to punch him in the stomach, but he grabbed her hand stopping her assault. "The game is not won yet."
"It will be! Then, we will have to take Richard out to celebrate." The two couples had gone out several times together. Once shortly after Caroline won her part in the play. Once the night after Darcy and she had qualified for Nationals. It pleased Richard to see her and Darcy getting on so well and she had developed a genuine friendship with Caroline. In fact, she found herself spending as much free time as she could spare at the theater helping with set construction, painting, or working at the ticket counter. Anything. She wanted to show Caroline how much she supported her in her newest endeavor. With her thoughts along those lines, she asked, "Did Caroline tell you that all the nights for the play have sold out all ready?"
He released her hand. "No, she never mentioned it."
"Yep." She put her head on his shoulder, "Jack told her that he might put his tickets for opening night on Ebay... I am so excited for her...I know that she is going to knock your socks off. She deserves every success working as hard as she has..."
"Not any harder than you train running, Elizabeth. It's just different."
"Jack offered to give me some private lessons in public speaking?"
"Well, isn't he the helpful one? He spends so much time helping Caroline 'fine tune' her voice that I don't know when he would have the time to give you lessons...."
"After the play, silly." She laughed at his frown. "You would really like him, Darcy. He is amazing...charismatic...when he is on the stage, it is like the world has focused in on him...it is like-" Elizabeth ruffled his curls absently. "You know I wish I could be Caroline for one day. I'd switch with her in a heartbeat..."
His voice was clipped. "Elizabeth, do you have something to drink?"
"Sure. I'm sorry...I've been a poor hostess. Let's go raid the fridge..." She turned when he made no move to follow her. "Coming?"
"Elizabeth....?" She was curious when he stood. He closed the distance between them and she felt his fingers rest on her cheek. "Promise me...that you won't change for anyone. You are...fine... the way you are." His words touched her.
She was embarrassed by the attention. "I guess that is a compliment?"
His fingers moved from her cheek and came to rest on the base of her neck, "You can take it anyway you want." She hugged him close. "I will try not to change for any one, Darcy. That is a promise."
She felt his cheek against hers. "I'm sure Richard wouldn't like it if you did."
At the mention of Richard again, she returned to her goal of locating refreshments. "I can't believe that Nationals is two weeks away...then Spring break...then the play...before you know it...the semester will be over...time is flying by..."
"Yes, it is." She fidgeted around in the refrigerator enjoying the cold air on her face. "All I have is Sprite---" She turned and saw the strange expression on his face. "There is a vending machine downstairs if you want something else?"
"No, Sprite is...okay." He leaned on the counter separating them as she busied herself searching for glasses. She changed the subject, "I can't believe Jane would rather go to a movie with Michael then watch the game with us."
She watched the debate on his face as he chose his words carefully. Through their friendship, Elizabeth had come to appreciate that Darcy thought about what he said before he spoke most times. In fact, he was the first man whom she had ever known who would actually listened to everything she had to say before venturing his own opinion. And that was a rare trait indeed. "It's not that I don't like Michael, he is a lot better than some of her other choices this semester, I fear she is starting to damage her reputation. She is still not ready to settle down into a steady relationship."
Elizabeth knew that he was right. On the surface, it did look like that way, but she knew the truth. There was a change in Jane since their trip to Connecticut. When she saw Charles with Julia that night, and Elizabeth suspected, every time she saw Charles with her now, it hurt Jane badly. Deeply. "I think there was a time that she was ready to settle down." Lizzy was not sure how much Jane had told Darcy and since it was Jane's love life it was not hers to betray. She hinted, "Around New Years?"
"You mean, of course, Dennis Wickham."
"Dennis! Lord, No!"
His voice had a hint of irritation. "Yes, Dennis. If memory serves me correctly she was quite enamored with him...she spent every day after you..." His face darkened momentarily, "She spent every day after you left with Dennis." He saw her frown. "You seem surprised. Didn't she tell you about all the time she spent with him at Pemberley?"
"No, she never said one word about him...maybe she tried to make it appear that she liked him more than she did..." She bite her lip hoping that he would pick up on the hint that time. He didn't. And, she was getting frustrated, "Do you know what I'm trying to say?"
"Obviously not."
"Okay," she tried again. "If you were in love with someone...and they were involved with someone else...would you wait or would you just move on?"
His eyes were firmly focused on her. "I guess it would depend on the woman... and, I imagine, on how much I loved her."
She felt her own shock at his admission. "I guess I'm in the minority then...I still prefer to think you wait to make love with the one you love."
Hearing no reply, she glanced at him. His voice was harsh reminding her briefly of their heated exchanges at Pemberley. "Isn't that antiquated thinking at best---but, then I guess...Richard is indeed a lucky man to be blessed with your love...so quickly."
She blinked at his insult. "And what is your philosophy, Darcy?"
"Sex is perfectly enjoyable without the interference of love."
"Interference of love...You don't seriously mean that?"
"Sure, I do." He leaned in on his hand. "Physical attraction fades...isn't that all love really is?"
She looked at him puzzled, "Is it?"
His brows knitted together as he examined her.
Thankfully, she had thought at the time, the phone rang in her room sparing her from continuing the conversation. "I'll be right back."
Elizabeth flipped off the television disgusted as Duke and South Carolina took the floor for their game. How could such a short conversation cause such grief? She could barely remember what had happened after she returned to the kitchen after she took that phone call. Darcy immediately came to stand before her, "Are you all right?"
"I'm fine." Her guilt prevented her from meeting his eyes.
Concern was written in every line in his face. "Who was that?"
"It was just a ----a----friend."
The softness in his eyes evaporated. "A guy friend?"
"No." He searched her face, "Are you sure, Elizabeth?"
"Yes, I am sure. I ought to know the difference, remember?" She saw his anger building in him. She did not want to argue with him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that ... it was unfair to say that. I just got some disturbing news..."
" So, did he decide to wait up for you since the game is half over?"
"Excuse me?"
"You left the door to your room open unfortunately I could not help but hear the conversation. So, did he decided to wait up for you?"
She felt her temple throb. "Darcy...You've totally misunderstood ..."
"Well, then, enlighten me." She read the challenge in his dark eyes and was powerless to say anything. Anything that she could say --- would make the situation worse. " How could you make plans with another man while I'm practically in the same room with you--- RICHARD IS MY COUSIN! He deserves honesty at the very least from you..."
The depth of his family loyalty was almost oppressive. She tried to control her own anger. "I have always been as honest as I can be with Richard..."
"Honest as you can be?" He grabbed his coat and eyed her a long moment, "Goodnight, Elizabeth."
Elizabeth swept into the room quickly after her knock was answered. "Darcy left. The game's over," She turned to face Caroline, "So, what is this about being in love with Jack and wanting to break up with Darcy?"
"I'm crazy about Jack Thomas! I think about him all the time... his goofy mouth...his bad haircut...his beautiful voice...his lips ...every time he touches me I feel like I am burning alive..." Elizabeth knew that This was definitely NOT good.
"Is he really worth breaking up with Darcy? You've been together so....." She stood not believing that she was the one defending Darcy. "He is going to be so ANGRY and HURT...he is going to be..."
"Relieved, Lizzy. I suspect, Darcy will be quite relieved to be free of me. "
"Don't be ridiculous, Caroline!" Lizzy rose to her feet. "Darcy loves you!"
"In the entire time we have dated, he has never once said those words to me."
"Maybe, he just figured you knew it!" She wheeled on Caroline, "You know he doesn't like to discuss his feelings openly - give him another chance before you throw the your relationship with him away! You two make the perfect couple."
"No, we don't!" She grimaced at the emphatic contradiction. "Lizzy, I didn't ask you here to discuss breaking up with Darcy - I'm going to do it anyway." Her friend gripped her hand, "My biggest concern about breaking up with Darcy is losing your friendship. No matter what happens, I want to remain friends with you. No matter who I date, or who YOU date...I want us to be like we are now." She blushed slightly, "I've never had a real friend until you, Lizzy. And, I hope that this---won't change things."
"My friendship is yours as long as you desire it."
"Good!" Elizabeth was touched by the extent of Caroline's relief. "So many things have changed since I came to Xavier, Lizzy. I never knew so much about myself---my failings. And, I never knew how much there was to Darcy that he had never shared with me. I assumed he was the way I thought of him. Serious. Unemotional. Untouchable. I figured he had to be responsible...he wanted to be a doctor....then head his father's company. He is under so much pressure. So many people are looking to him to be as successful as his father....you probably understand the pressure he is under much better than I ever could. He wanted no deviations from HIS plan. Love..." Caroline laughed. "I don't think he ever considered factoring in LOVE in the equation of his life."
"And you were satisfied with that?"
"A lot of woman would be satisfied with that." Caroline sounded defensive, but softened, "And, then I suppose that there would be at least one woman who would demand more from him. Darcy needs a woman like that. A woman who can shake him, challenge him, tease him...a woman who has charm, ease and intelligence in addition to her beauty. A woman who can stand beside him in strength, Lizzy. I am not that woman!"
"Caroline, I think you are being excessively hard on yourself. I don't think that there is a woman alive who Darcy could claim has those qualifications...." She said honestly, "And, if there is and he is as you say, unfeeling, God help her!"
"On the contrary, God help Darcy! For he will only lose his heart, like his father, to only one woman. And then, there will never be another for him," Caroline stood, "And, Once he realizes what IS happening to him, it will be difficult for him to acknowledge it. It will almost be painful for him to act on his feelings since REASON has dictated his actions all of his life..." The look of regret on her friend's face disturbed her. "Are you completely sure you are not still in love with him, Caroline?"
"A part of me will always love him, but it is a childish part of me---for that is what we really were when we started down this road---children. I am maturing, Lizzy. It is time to put up childish fantasies...and accept reality. My reality is Jack. He sees things in me that even I never knew existed." She stared straight into Elizabeth's eyes. "I love Jack in a way that I would never be able to love Darcy..."
"Enough talk about Darcy. Let's change to a more pleasant subject." Elizabeth said standing. "I want to hear all about Jack and how you discovered you were falling in love with him?"
"That could take all night."
"Then, I guess we will simply have to have an all-nighter then!"
The clock gleamed a fluorescent 3:25. When the phone rang, Jane grabbed the receiver annoyed. "Do you know how late it is.....?"
"I'm sorry, Jane! I couldn't sleep - could you put Elizabeth on the phone - I really need to talk to her about what happened tonight..."
"What happened tonight?" Jane sat upright in bed. Hope flooded through her.
"She didn't tell you?" Before she could respond, he voiced the obvious. "She isn't there, is she?" She had never heard her cousin like this before...he sounded like he was tortured. "Where is she, Jane..." When she didn't answer right away, Darcy offered, "Look, could you at least tell me she is safe. That is all I want to know. I---"
"Darcy, I haven't seen her since I left her with you to watch the game."
"She never came back to the room?" Darcy sighed. "Could you have her call me when she gets back---I don't care how late it is...I'll wait up."
"Sure." Before she could say anything else, she heard the dial tone. The clock flip to 3:27. What in the heck was going on between Darcy and Lizzy?
Caroline found Darcy waiting for her at the Pub the following morning. he could tell from the shadow of his facial hair that he hadn't bothered to shave. He looked tired as he opened first one, then two creamers before depositing them in his coffee. Knowing he only took sugar, Caroline could not help but ask, "Are you okay?"
She laughed at his reaction as he sipped from his brew. "I'm fine." His frown dried up her laughter. He offered, "You wanted to talk?"
"Yes, I did. Darcy....I want to break up."
He blinked before putting down his mug in front of him. "Jack Thomas, right?" She saw him smile at her reaction. "Singing until 2 am every night? Even I know that you are a quicker study than that." He ran his finger around the lip of his mug before he took another sip. "Does being with him make you happy?"
"I think he could make me happy, if I let him."
"I've always wanted you to be happy."
"I've always wanted you to be happy, too. I love you that much." She was disappointed when he only nodded. There was still a part of her that ached to hear him say I love you, Caroline. She offered simply, "Maybe we should have stopped while we were still ahead----we were great friends once."
His brown eyes locked on hers. "We still are, Carol."
She stood tears threatening. Even though this was right...it was still hard to say goodbye. "You take care of yourself, Darcy."
"If you ever need anything..." He stood and kissed her softly on the cheek.
Without a backward look, she left the Pub. Caroline immediately turned her steps in the direction of the theater before she could lose her courage.
"Hey!" Elizabeth felt a sharp poke in her arm. "Wake up!" Another jab made her come fully awake. "Who are you and, more importantly, what are you doing in my bed?" She strangely felt like she was caught in a modern version of Goldilocks. Lizzy brushed the sleep out of her eyes and tried to focus on the woman standing directly in the light. "Hello? Are you drunk? Mute? Deaf? Do I need to call campus security?"
"No....I'm Caroline's friend.....I'm Elizabeth Bennet." Getting use to the light, Lizzy focused on the woman. She was about her height. Short deep brown hair framed high cheekbones and expressive eyes that held court over a wide expressive mouth. Lizzy was reminded of Cindy Crawford. "Oh....yes... I've heard about you from my little step-sister, Julia....I'm Caroline's roommate, Karen Marie Cuddles. Wait a minute..." She tapped one perfectly manicured finger against her perfect lips, "You date Richard Fritz don't you?" Without giving Lizzy a chance to answer, her nose wrinkled as she tugged on the comforter, "You don't intend to stay in my bed all day, do you?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. Caroline and I stayed up talking late last night...I must have dozed..." She was almost pushed out of the bed as Karen balled the comforter up and placed it on the floor. As she stood, the brunette handed her an envelope that had been torn open. "I found this on the door....I guess Caroline left it for you. "
E - I hope you aren't angry but I decided to let you sleep in since I kept you up so late. Stay as long as you want...I'll call you later! - C
"Imagine my surprise to find YOU in my bed! I thought you were a guy---and I thought I had some JUICY campus scandal on my hands!" Karen's laugh was beautiful as she pulled the pillowcase off one pillow, then a second, "But, then I guess even Caroline is not that STUPID...I mean she is dating DARCY WILLIAMS, right? And EVERYONE knows he is the best catch on THIS campus? Look, Liz." She cringed---she despised being called LIZ. "I need to take a shower... and now I suppose, I have to have these laundered..." Karen was in the process of removing the fitted sheet, "but...don't worry... I have a little place in town that does them for me...I'll drop them on my way to meet my BOYFRIEND, Taggert Smouth...It won't put me out at all." Karen put her linens into a neat pile and turned back to face her, "Now Liz...would you mind leaving so I can get ready for him?"
"Sure." Elizabeth was barely in the hall before her newest acquaintance shut the door firmly behind her. Well, it was nice meeting you too. Thinking how unfortunate it must be to have such a roommate, she was reminded of her own roommate situation. Jane would be angry with her for not calling. She had simply fallen asleep talking--it had not been done intentionally. When she entered her own room and found instead of a roommate, another note posted to a Diamond Romanze novel, she was overcome with relief.
Lizzy, You have some 'splaining to do, woman! I don't know what happened between you and Darcy last night, but when you come out of hiding he wants you to call him AS SOON AS YOU GET IN AND HE DOESN'T CARE WHEN THAT IS! (His words not mine!) I'm going to meet Michael at the Pub for lunch ---drop by after you straighten everything out with him so I can have my pound of flesh. Jane.
Lizzy dialed the familiar number hoping that she would get the answering machine. The voice that came through the phone was not the one she had been expecting. "Lizzy, I was just about to call you---You must be psychic."
If only I was. She thought bitterly. "Richard..." She had forgotten about his basketball game entirely. "When did you get back in?"
"This morning."
She heard the depression in his voice. "Richard, I'm sorry about the game. You guys were so close! Hey, I've got a great idea. Why don't I treat you to lunch? Jane and Michael went to the Pub....we could join them-it would cheer you up."
"Are you sure you want to do that, Lizzy? Lord knows, I could use some cheering up after last night ....And this morning..." He paused. "When I got in, I played back a messages on our answering machine. Jane left a message to Darcy about you not coming home last night-but not to worry-because she knew where you were.... where were you?"
The pain in his voice made her feel small. "I spent the night with Caroline. She needed to talk to someone breaking up with Darcy."
"She's dumping Darcy? Man, that really blows." Elizabeth rolled her eyes into the phone. "I mean---they've been together a long time! At least two years...Darcy's gonna be crushed...." She felt tension form at her shoulder blades as he continued, "Lizzy, I feel bad, but at the same time, I can't help but feel relief that you weren't---that you weren't cheating on me. Do you have any idea how I felt believing you spent the night with another man? And, all the time you were with Caroline!" He laughed with relief, "Lizzy, I've been doing some thinking..."
"Really, and I always thought you left your thinking up to Darcy." Did I actually say that aloud? She chastised herself for her cruel words not sure why she was aggravated so much. "Richard, I was only teasing you."
"Have you been," His voice sounded hurt. "teasing me, Lizzy?" This was all her fault! She had led him on from the beginning. "I'm sorry, Lizzy. I didn't really mean that! I guess after last night, after losing that game---you were the only bright spot in my life left...and then hearing that message this morning. It really shook me up." Lizzy wanted to stop him from saying anything else, but her mind was racing. Jane had forgiven her when she had hurt Marcus, but would she be willing to forgive her twice? Somehow, she didn't think so. Their friendship had altered over the few months since she had fled Pemberley on New Year's Day. She feared hurting Richard might destroy more than his ego.... "I knew that you wouldn't do anything to hurt me, Lizzy..." She could lose Jane. "And, I don't want to dance around the issue anymore..." She could lose Darcy's friendship. "I want everyone to know that you are mine...and that I am yours." Hadn't Darcy warned her to quite toying with his cousin in the first place? She could still hear him calling her Richard's girl. "Will you make it official and wear my ring?" She knew she couldn't risk losing Darcy, Jane and Richard---they meant too much to her. Decided, something cold steeled in her. "If that is what you want....I'll do my best to make you happy, Richard."
"You have no idea how happy you have all ready made me...I'll be at your dorm in about 15 minutes...I can't wait to see you, Lizzy. This is one of the best days of my life."
Glancing about the bedroom of her youth, Elizabeth was not exactly sure if she was glad Spring Break was over or not. The last week had not exactly gone as expected and it had not exactly been "stress free" by any stretch. On one hand, she was anxious to leave Kentucky behind-- on the other hand, she glanced down at her necklace...she dreaded returning to Xavier. The ring on the delicate chain twinkled back at her as she thought back over the past few weeks.....
"Lizzy has agreed to wear my class ring---We're an official couple!" Richard took a bite out of a slice of pizza and missed the reaction of their lunch companions.
Michael recovered first, "That's....great news."
"Yeah, great news." Jane's voice sounded anything but enthusiastic.
"Hey Lizzy, would you mind if I went over and talked to Taggert and Charles about the game?" Richard stood then stopped. "Wanna come ?" Glancing at the table he indicated, she saw Karen fawning over Taggert and Julia making eyes at Charles. Her empty stomach lurched. "No, I'll stay here and chat with Jane." She knew she owed Jane an explanation about her previous night's disappearing act. As soon as Richard was out of hearing, she began, "Before you say anything, I wanted to let you know where I was last night..."
"Last night? I know perfectly well where you were---" Jane's mouth froze parted. Elizabeth put down her drink concerned, "Jane?"
"Do tell, cousin... " Lizzy was not surprised by Darcy's presence nor was she surprised by the anger in his voice. After all, he thinks I cheated on Richard. She turned to face him and stopped stunned. His eyes were bloodshot, his hair was ruffled, and his jaw was covered in an uneven line of morning fuzz. My god, what did Caroline do to him? In one cat-like movement, he took Richard's empty seat and effectively cut off her only means of escape. "Don't mind me..."
"Music!" Jane's voice sounded pinched, "I think I'd like to play some music right now.....Michael why don't you help me find something on the jukebox----over there..."
"Are you kidding? And miss this ..." Her elbow caused Michael to change his mind. "Sorry, Lizzy...I hate to leave a damsel in distress, but it doesn't look like I have much of a choice..." As Jane lead Michael across the room, she glanced at Darcy wishing he would just say what was on his mind---his silence nearly drove her to madness. His choice of conversation startled her. "Do you have any idea how worried Jane and I were about you last night?" He was looking into his coffee as if it had the answer to his question. "It was irresponsible and thoughtless..."
"I never intended...I fell asleep after I..."
"I don't want details! It was bad enough that you never called, but WHERE you were and WHO you were with..." He slammed his mug down on the table causing her to jump, but he still did not look at her. "I can't believe you had the audacity to do it right under my nose..."
Oh my God, he knows I was with Caroline. She felt ashamed. "Darcy---you must believe me..."
For the first time since he sat down, he looked at her. "Aren't we past that point?"
"I just wanted us all to be FRIENDS..." She reached out for his arm.
He pulled back, "Last night changed that--- "
"Please, Darcy...I never meant to hurt you..."
"HURT ME!" He laughed. "What makes you think YOU hurt ME?"
"I tried to talk Caroline out of it, I swear, I did. She wouldn't listen to me..." The taste of copper rose in her throat and she thought she was going to be sick.
"Caroline..." Darcy blinked several times then looked at her with bloodshot eyes. "Caroline?! You were with CAROLINE last night? She was the one who called you?"
"I didn't know what to say to you when she called. I thought that I could talk to her before she did anything drastic..." She seized upon an idea, "Darcy! She thinks you don't love her. I tried to tell her you do, but she wouldn't listen...maybe if you told her..."
"Stop." He held up a hand. "I've never lied to Caroline. I may have let her down other ways, but I've never lied to her. And, I can't start now." Lizzy read the conviction of his words in his eyes. "I can't tell her I love her---because I don't."
"How could you say you don't love her?" She was shocked by his words and confused. She wanted to scream at him...to slap him...Just look at yourself---you're a mess over her.
" My life would be indeed be a great deal easier if I could love her --- I care about her a great deal, but it is not the same thing. You can't make yourself feel something you don't, Elizabeth." Grimacing, he drained his mug and slid away from the booth. "It seems, Miss Bennet, I owe you yet another apology for last night --- I was only trying..."
"To protect Richard from my evil clutches...." She gave him a knowing smile and watched confused again as he paled considerably. " Are you okay, Darcy?" His hand reached down until he held Richard's ring between his thumb and pointer finger. "I guess congratulations are in order..." He released the charm easily and gave her a smile.
"I know you worry about me hurting him," she met his eyes and held them, "but I promise you I'll do my best to make him happy..."
"I can't imagine you making him unhappy, Elizabeth." The smile playing at his lips deepened, but it looked unnatural. "I think Michael and Jane might be running out of quarters. Well, I've had a long morning..." Darcy looked at his empty mug then held it up. "I think I need some sleep...Um...I have some questions in Calculus...is it all right if I try to stop by the math lab sometime this week?"
She nodded, "Of course. Anytime." As he walked away, she saw his strong shoulders slump and it tore at her. She would have went to him, but guilt rooted her to her seat. After all, if it hadn't been for her, Caroline would never have met Jack in the first place. Darcy and Caroline would still be together.
Jane and Michael returned to the table shortly after Darcy left, but before they had a chance to cross-examine her, Charles and Julia stopped at their table. What is this Grand Central Station! "Oh, Liz! Richard told us the wonderful news! Don't you think it's wonderful news, Charlie?"
Charles' soft southern accent sounded almost apologetic. "Julia..."
"I know how I felt when Charlie gave me his class ring...I felt like I was floating on a cloud..." Elizabeth tried hard not to look at her roommate. "And Jane, I bet you are just thrilled. I mean Liz might marry into the family after all..."
"Julia...we have to be going," Charles offered the table a feeble smile. "We are running late. Congrats, Lizzy. Catch you back at the dorm Michael. Jane."
Elizabeth flipped over onto her stomach and highlighted another section in her Anatomy text. She heard her mother's voice coming through the heater vent in her floor. "Lizzy is going to burn herself out, Ben! Did you see how many books she brought with her---on her spring break...she should be lying on a beach somewhere working on her tan....it's not normal, Ben...Ben...Ben, are you listening to me...Ben...Ben!" Lizzy smiled to herself and began another paragraph, but soon the smile faded, "And don't even get me started on that boy....that Richard Fizz or Fipz or whatever his name is....I don't care if he is Jane's cousin...Lola said he is from the side of the family that had no money....how could she do that? I thought you said that she was going to meet doctors...smart RICH men...Ben...Ben..Ben..are you listening to me?" Elizabeth fought the urge to swear. Instead, she covered her head with a pillow in an attempt to drown out her mother's voice and tried to fight off the memory of her last fight with Jane.
The entire trip home had been like walking on eggshells with Jane. It seemed every conversation led to an argument---no subject was safe. Michael. Richard. Darcy. And Darcy was an exceptionally sore subject for Elizabeth. Even though he claimed he was not upset about the breakup with Caroline and he assured her that he didn't hold her responsible, the weeks before Break clearly showed otherwise. Every time they were alone together, she felt his pain. He didn't really see her when his eyes rested on her. Or, he didn't hear her---though he nodded in the right spots. It was almost as if he was somewhere else --- and it frustrated her that there was nothing she could do for him.
Then, there was the matter of Caroline. Lizzy knew that Caroline and Jack were good together, but the guilt over Darcy crept up on her conscious every time she was with them. And, the friendship she extended to Caroline was another source of contention with Jane, whose earlier dislike of Caroline had blossomed into open hatred.
Elizabeth had hoped that once they were back home her easy friendship with Jane would rebound. The drive began awkwardly but by the time they reached the state line, they fell into their familiar habit of singing off tune to the radio. After a quick bite at McDonald's in Lexington, they continued the last hour on the back roads and a feeling of relief that settled over Lizzy lasted into they pulled into the Gardiner's driveway where a frantic Morgan rushed out to meet them. "You may want to turn back...it is not very pleasant in there..."
"What's going on, Moe?" Jane's concern for her sister was apparent.
"Where would you like me to start? The cake is all messed up...Tiger said he has a business deal in Canada and he is not sure he can come. Of course, mom wants me to let Ivan give me away now! The invitations have the wrong day printed on them. My wedding is going to be ruined..." Morgan gave way to her tears "...Anne told mom that they are not coming...none of them...nothing is going right..."
"It's going to be all right." Elizabeth watched Jane console Morgan.
"No, it's not! It's even worse than it was at Christmas...Anne insinuated all kinds of horrible things about mom. She made mom cry, Jane! Anne told her that none of us are welcome at Pemberley until THAT MAN left... and mom told Anne that she is not welcome at the wedding unless she apologizes. And we both know that an ice cube has better chances in hell than Anne apologizing to anyone. Why is she doing this to me? I just wanted her here on my special day..." Again, Morgan dissolved into tears.
"I know." Jane's blue eyes narrowed with anger at her Aunt. "I know."
"Every wedding hits snags, Moe..." Elizabeth offered gently, "We'll get all the little kinks worked out and your wedding will be back on track in no time..."
"It's not the kinks..." Morgan took a deep breath. "Anne has ruined everything. She was suppose to sing in my wedding...Georgie was suppose to be my flower girl...Darcy was suppose to stand up with Brian...Richard was suppose to be an usher..."
Lizzy could not hide her disbelief. "Richard isn't coming either?"
"Are you kidding?" Jane spat, "If George isn't coming, you can bet the farm that the Colonel's family isn't coming. Richard's dad wouldn't dare upset his half-brother for fear they'd be cut off. Who do you think is footing the bill for Richard's education ?"
The only good thing to come from such a trying week of work and "errands" was the fact that Jane and her were finally getting along...finally working together side-by-side for a common goal. Or, so Elizabeth thought....
Fanny complained. "But...Ben, she didn't touch her dinner at all..."
"She's a smart girl." Lizzy smiled into her pillow at her father's response.
"What did you say, Ben?"
"She never has been a fan of casserole surprise....or whatever that was...."
"Ben...it was spinach casserole---and your doctor said it was good for you to eat. Ben, I'm serious. I think there is something wrong with her...maybe we should talk her into staying home a few more days...Ben...Ben...did you hear me?"
"Fanny, I think our neighbors can hear you..."
"Ben Bennet!" Fanny's voice hit a new decibel. She heard her father's newspaper fold and heard his sigh, "I'm taking her back to school first thing in the morning...."
"Why isn't Jane going with her?" Elizabeth stiffened at the question.
"It's not our business, Fanny. Now lower your voice and come here."
A moment later she heard her mother giggle softly but Elizabeth could not make herself smile. "Why isn't Jane going with her?" She glanced at the clock...had it really been just two hours since their last argument? It seemed a lifetime ago. She stared up at the ceiling Anatomy book forgotten. Angry words that could never be taken back resurfaced in her mind.
After spending their last day home together shopping and hanging out, Elizabeth and the Gardiner sisters decided to take a dip in their Jacuzzi to relax. They sipped margaritas and the discussion immediately turned to the upcoming nuptials. Morgan told the stars above Kentucky. "I can't wait to be Mrs. Brian Mitchell."
"I just can't wait for summer." It was true. Lizzy wished in some crazy way that she never had to go back to Xavier.
Jane echoed the sentiment. "I can't wait either."
"I've been pretty self-absorbed this week with all the problems and without you two ...I think I would have eloped...." Moe smiled, "You know that doesn't sound like a half bad idea...do you think mom would understand if I went up to the Pocono's?" Lizzy laughed glad to see her attempt at humor. "So, how is Darcy adjusting to being second in his class behind a mere girl..." Obviously Morgan knew the history of their initial meeting Lizzy squirmed feeling uncomfortable.
"Oh, he is adjusting." Jane said, "You know that Darcy and Caroline broke up..."
"No, I didn't. He finally served that snob her walking papers, huh?"
"Careful, you are talking about Lizzy's best friend there." Moe shot her sister a look, then laughed. "It's true, Moe!" Lizzy stared at Jane hoping to end this conversation, but Jane evidently was not satisfied. "In fact, Lizzy was the first one to know that Caroline was going to serve Darcy HIS walking papers..."
"Caroline broke up with Darcy?" Moe's mouth fell open. "What the heck is going on up there? Is the water tainted or something? So, whom is Caroline dating now?"
"This grungy no-talent hack from the theater department..."
"Jack isn't a hack and he is talented."
Moe stared at the two friends who were glaring at each other. The good mood of the day waned considerably. "Hey, you two....."
Jane continued. "I bet Lizzy didn't tell you that she is dating Richard, did she?"
"Richard?" Moe turned to face Lizzy. "How did you end up with Richard."
"I didn't end up with Richard!" She heard her own defensiveness in her voice and almost apologized. Jane's next question caught her completely off guard. "So, you are going to sit there and tell me you love Richard? You aren't going to hurt him like you did Marcus...play games with his head...break his heart?"
"Jane that is unfair we both know that Lizzy did everything not to hurt Marcus..."
"Stay out of this, Moe. Do you, Lizzy?"
"Do you love Michael?" She countered, "Or are you dating him merely for revenge on Charles?" Jane's facial expression showed her words were close to the mark.
"Revenge? Please! At least I'm not cold...too scared to get involved with everyone...keeping everyone at arm's length...At least, I don't hurt every man who loves me...I'm not untouchable..."
"Oh, you touchable all right..." The words were out before Lizzy realized it. Jane's face went white then red. Morgan looked from her friend to her sister. "What is going on between you two?"
"I think you'd better ask Jane..." Lizzy pulled herself out of the hot water and grabbed her towel. "I'm going home."
"Lizzy-Bear..." She heard Ben whisper and she opened her eyes slowly.
"I must have fallen asleep." She rose off her stomach. "Is it time to go?"
"No, it's about ten at night. Jane is here...she wants to talk to you."
Lizzy looked away from her father. For the first time in her life, she did not want to talk to Jane. "Can you tell her I don't want to talk to her?"
Sighing, Ben ran a hand through his gray hair as he took a seat at the foot of her bed. "I'm not going to do that, Elizabeth." She shut her eyes. It was not good when Benjamin Bennet called you by your given name. "She is your oldest friend and you two have been through a great deal. I am the last person who has to remind you of that, Bear. She deserves to have you tell her whatever it is you have to say to her face."
Sometimes, her father was more annoying than her mother. He seemed to always be right. She made her way downstairs without further prodding. Fanny had Jane seated at the dining room table insisting that she try a piece of the Oreo pie she had made for desert in honor of Lizzy's leaving.
"Fanny, why don't you and me go for a walk...it's a nice night."
"Ben, it is freezing out there...besides, I want to talk with Jane. She and Lizzy have been so busy with the wedding plans we haven't had a chance to visit properly...now tell me all about the lace in Morgan's dress..."
"No lace." Ben beseeched. "Jane, if you start talking about lace I'll never get her out of the house. Remember the doctor said I should walk a couple of miles every day..."
"All right, Ben. I don't know why you insist on dragging me along for your walk..."His wife rolled her eyes dramatically but she accepted the jacket her husband handed her. "Jane, you'll have to tell me all about Morgan's dress when I get back..."
Ben escorted his wife outside leaving the two young women alone. Lizzy could not hide her smile as she watched Jane scrape a layer of Oreos off her pie. "What are you doing?"
"Cutting my calories in half." Jane smiled back before taking a bite. "Mmmm, your mom makes the best pie---"
"Yes, she does." As Lizzy looked at the door, her smile deepened.
"How is he doing, Lizzy?"
"Mom has been fixing all kinds of special foods, but he is still sneaking. She caught him smoking last night..." Lizzy shook her head. "I thought she was going to blow the roof off the place. She's trying ---she's scared."
Jane took another small bite then pushed the plate away from her. "You have been going through a lot lately, haven't you, Lizzy? All the stuff at school...the studying, running and working. Then, you have your dad----"
"That's no excuse for what I said to you." Lizzy bit her lip. "I didn't mean it."
"I know." The unshed tears in Jane's eyes tore at her.
"What is happening to us, Janey?"
"We're growing apart. You're leaving me behind. You don't have room for me in your life anymore. I'm not as smart as you are...so you have Darcy. I'm not a theater buff...so you have Caroline. I don't play basketball...so you have Richard. I don't run so you have Kylie and Charlotte...I feel like you don't have anything left for me..."
"Jane, you've always been the sister I never had. You were my first friend---and the best friend anyone could ever have. I'm sorry if you feel like I've been shutting you out, but I've been trying so hard to be everything for everyone..."
"It's not all your fault." Her friend took a deep breath. "I have been focusing my anger on you when...it hurts, Lizzy. God, you have no idea how much it hurts seeing Charles with her every day...I loved him so much...and he didn't love me back." Lizzy's heart fell under the wave of pain Jane was showing. She came around to her best friend and enveloped her into a hug. "He didn't want me, Lizzy. I was losing you and I ----he doesn't care about me at all. I'm just Darcy's flirtatious cousin...I'm a fool."
She cradled Jane to her. "You're not a fool, Jane."
"No one is going to love me like Brian loves Moe..." she hiccuped. "I'm going to end up like my mom...never finding someone to grow old with...someone to love me..."
"Yes, you will." Lizzy whispered. "You'll see, Janey. You never know, Mr. Roarke from one of those Diamond Darcy novels you love to read may just walk up to you one day and sweep you off to his Fantasy Island...."
Jane started to laugh through her tears, then moped her face with her sleeve. "Will you ride back to campus with me tomorrow? I don't want to go back without you?"
"Are you sure you want me too?"
"Yeah, it wouldn't seem the same without you!."
Lizzy watched Jane drive away. As she was shutting the front door, she caught a glimpse of her parents walking across the open field in front of their house. Even at a distance, she could see them holding hands and she could hear her mother's laughter. She turned on the porch light and went back up to bed exhausted.