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Re: Why Did You Have To Be? part 2 **Rough Draft--Need Thoughts! Please Read**

January 04, 2019 01:17PM
I agree - as a rough draft it's pretty decent and looks like the start of a good story, but it's very exposition-heavy. We don't need everyone's backstory in one chapter, and some of it has been shown to us as well. A few examples: Lizzy's backstory with George is fine as exposition, but if you were okay with delaying it you could have one of the Bennets explain it to one of the newcomers at some point. As we haven't met or heard anyone talk about Mr and Mrs Bennet yet, the paragraphs about them are superfluous at this stage. Jane and Lizzy's relationship and Kat/Lydia's employment is obvious, you don't need to spell it out.

Hope that helps smiling smiley looking forward to seeing more of this story!
SubjectAuthorPosted

Why Did You Have To Be? part 2 **Rough Draft--Need Thoughts! Please Read**

Ashley FDecember 20, 2018 04:52PM

Re: Why Did You Have To Be? part 2 **Rough Draft--Need Thoughts! Please Read**

HexleFebruary 25, 2019 05:20PM

Re: Why Did You Have To Be? part 2 **Rough Draft--Need Thoughts! Please Read**

KarenteaDecember 29, 2018 12:42AM

Re: Why Did You Have To Be? part 2 **Rough Draft--Need Thoughts! Please Read**

NickiJanuary 04, 2019 01:17PM

Re: Why Did You Have To Be? part 2 **Rough Draft--Need Thoughts! Please Read**

Lucy J.December 29, 2018 12:30AM



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