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Death by potato

May 23, 2017 06:45PM
Hello hello.
I've been a lurker for a long long time and I've finally decided to try my hand at writing. This is just a small vignette for an actual story I have in mind. Would a full story expanding on this short one interest you?
I'm sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes (English isn't my mother tongue) I just wrote this on a whim. I hope you enjoy !

Blurb : Mr: Collins and his love for potatoes has deathly consequences. Short vignette. Epilogue abbey.

On the morning of the Netherfield ball the inhabitants of Longbourn gathered to break their fast and discuss the latest events of that marvelous night. Jane's success, music, dances, food, dresses and lace were thoroughly discussed to Mr. Bennet's great displeasure and most of all to Elizabeth's discomfort. She could not forget her embarrassment at her mother's loud remarks, her sister's behavior and her father's indolence. Her only source of relief was Jane's happiness.

"Indeed, the repast was of the highest quality but the potatoes were no match to these in front of us, my dear Mrs. Bennet. I do hope that the future mistress of Longbourn will manage a table as fine as yours" Mr. Collins suggested with a significant look at Elizabeth as he continued to stuff his face with the delicious tubers.

A look of surprise, alarm and by no little amounts disgust ran through Elizabeth's face. Justly mortified at this remark, at Lydia's snort and at Mr. Bennet's indifference she was about to take matters into her own hands when a strange wheezing noise broke the silence. It appeared to come from Mr. Collins. Could she have imagined it? At present he was silent, but his face was a bit flushed and his toady eyes seemed to be protuding more than normal.

Mrs. Bennet more interested in furthering conversation on her second oldest’s prospects didn't notice the strange look on Mr. Collins' face.

"Yes indeed my dear Mr. Collins. Oh Mr. Bennet wouldn't Longbourn -- oh Kitty enough with your coughing, it grates on my nerves!”

"It is not I mama, it is Mr. Collins, I do believe he is choking" All eyes turned to Mr. Collins, red as a beet he started flapling about.
“Do something Mr. Bennet" Mrs. Bennet cried in hysterics.

"Give him some water" Mary said as Elizabeth and Jane stood up to try to help the poor man. Mr. Bennet gave him a few sound taps on his back.

"No no raise his arms, raise his arms, Aunt Philips says that that works" Lydia said from her seat.

And then with a clear thud Mr. Collins fell face first on his plate of potatoes. Only Kitty's sobs broke the silence. Mr. Collins was dead.

Death by potato

LinaMay 23, 2017 06:45PM

Re: Death by potato

Lucy J.May 28, 2017 03:50AM

Re: Death by potato

EvelynJeanMay 25, 2017 08:08AM

Answers !!

LinaMay 27, 2017 10:09PM

Re: Death by potato

Sarah WaldockMay 24, 2017 11:39PM

Re: Death by potato

KathyMay 24, 2017 03:06PM

Re: Death by potato

AnnikaMay 24, 2017 12:44PM

Re: Death by potato

RoxeyMay 24, 2017 04:56AM

Re: Death by potato

mpinneyMay 24, 2017 01:04AM

Re: Death by potato

AlyssaSMay 24, 2017 12:57AM

Re: Death by potato

DorisMay 24, 2017 12:14AM

Too short!

Elizabeth A.May 23, 2017 08:53PM

Re: Too short!

BrigidMay 24, 2017 12:06AM


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