I love the spin of this story! While it's initially heartbreaking that Darcy never met up with Lizzie at Pemberley...it does open the door to so many other intriguing possibilities. That's your point, of course. Actually, this was always the more realistic arc to P&P. Even though we are all romantics at heart, and JA is our beloved genius...the fact that Lizzie and the Gardiners just happened to to be touring Pemberley at the precise moment Darcy returns was stretching the threads of coincidence. I loved that it happened, of course, but I always wondered "what if?" What path would both main characters have taken if there had never been such a meeting? So I love that you have decided to explore this so realistically. The Bingley/Jane arc makes perfect sense to me now. She is not marrying into superficial bliss to please her parents and everyone else. She is now emulating her Aunt Gardiner, which promises a much happier and fulfilling life. I love that you have included Mr. Bennet's withdrawal into a prolonged depression. It shows us the darker side of his personality.
But I must admit, I would love for Darcy to discover that Lizzy had been there that day at Pemberley, so long ago. It adds to the bittersweetness of the "if only!" Selfishly, I would also love to find out what happened to Bingley and his sisters. I would love Bingley to realize he did love Jane and stupidly allowed her to fall through his fingers. I would love to see a miserable Caroline.
In any case, I am enjoying this story immensely!