All you say is true Sarah, but even when Lizzie knew Darcy was to visit Rosings at Easter time, some six months after their first meeting, she showed no particular interest in him and even tried to avoid him on her walks. In truth, he and Colonel Fitzwilliam were the only males mentioned ( Wickham apart) outside of Mrs Bennet's obsession with Bingley's return and her annoyance at Lizzie for not "fixing" Mr Collins..Granted, Lizzie hardly seemed interested in any males at all outside of the mentioned Wickham and the Colonel, both commercialy unacceptable, and romance as such ( or as we know it) was hardly involved in an era when even holding hands was forbidden on pain of marriage and kissing was an unmentionable. ( Somewhat explained in Mr Collins's un-Chritian like letter to Mr Bennet about Lydia). Thus, unless a man was passable in looks (Colonel Fitzwilliam was described as not handsome) or known to be a species within a financially viable range, it was all a bit of a lottery. It was hardly a time when a couple could go on a date, or even an unaccompanied walk if there was a hint if romance in the air. In respect of this, Darcy had to be considered a good catch from Lizzie's point of view, and she not at all from his, considering his warped views of class reality ( a point very badly made but still very valid in the disastrous proposal, in which he was correct in his views on propriety of the time). Romantically both were rather colder than a November hail storm when it came to sparks flying, although Darcy did have feelings.
Aunt Gardiner did clarify
"Violently in love" to be "
so hackneyed, so doubtful, so indefinite, that it gives me very little idea. It is as often applied to feelings which arise from an half-hour's acquaintance, as to a real, strong attachment." In that respect, Charlotte Lucas was the only one complying with the rules of husband winning. In just a few minutes she aquired a husband, a parish home and a future estate all with hardly an effort. She was considered foolish. (-;
