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Chapter 49
Posted on Friday, 13 April 2001, at 8:48 p.m.
"Of course, to be married," said Anne. "Why else would we be engaged?"
"Is it true, Fitzwilliam?" Lady Catherine asked of her nephew.
"Yes, Lady Catherine," nodded Richard. "I love Anne very much and intend to make her happy."
Lady Catherine was still in shock. "When did this happen?"
Anne and Richard exchanged glances, wondering whether the truth ought to be concealed, but Anne did not feel as though they needed to conceal the truth, so she cleared her throat. "Actually, this happened before Richard left for Spain - while he was still at Rosings."
"But you -- you were engaged to Victor at that time?" Lady Catherine said.
"No," Anne said with some emphasis. "I was not engaged to Victor. You thought I was, but I was not."
"But I thought that you wanted to marry Victor?" Lady Catherine said.
"No, mother," Anne shook her head. "I never wanted to marry him." She glanced at Richard, who did not seem terribly happy at this turn in the conversation, so Anne decided to steer it back to the subject at hand. "But it does not matter now. That was in the past and those misunderstandings should remain in the past. What is important now is that I love Richard and want to marry him."
"But," Lady Catherine looked at Anne, then Richard. "But -- what of Lord Gerschwin?"
"I barely know him, mother," said Anne.
"He thinks you wish to marry him," Lady Catherine said.
"And whose fault is that?" Anne said.
Lady Catherine ignored that last statement. "I cannot believe this is happening. You have been engaged for more than a month and I was not informed? Such concealment is beneath you, Anne and you, too, Fitzwilliam."
"We wanted to wait till I came back from Spain," Richard said.
Lady Catherine looked at him. "Well, that is no good reason." She looked at Anne. "You broke off your engagement to Victor because of this?"
"Mother, Victor is dead," Anne said, exasperated. "Does it really matter?"
"I suppose not," Lady Catherine was a trifle discomposed. "But I will say this. I am heartily ashamed of both of you - carrying on like that under my nose without so much as seeking my approval. I thought you both were above that. Tell me, Fitzwilliam, how long has this been going on? Weeks? Months?"
"Lady Catherine, I -- " Richard began to respond.
"Don't answer that, Richard," Anne interrupted him, angry.
"Anne," Richard looked at her and she sighed. He turned his attention back to his aunt. "We did not mean to conceal it from you, Lady Catherine, but at the time, we determined that it was best if we waited before sharing the news. The incident with Lord Victor was still fresh in everyone's mind and I had to leave soon. It just happened so fast and we thought it best if we wait till I returned so we could tell you about it properly."
Lady Catherine considered his argument for a moment. "Who else knows about this?"
"Just Darce, Georgie and Elizabeth," Anne realized her error as soon as she uttered the names.
"You told Miss Bennet?" Lady Catherine said. "You told her and not me? This is insufferable. I should have known that that woman was somehow involved in this matter. I suppose she was the one who espoused the match? Encouraged you to lie to your mother and act against her wishes?"
"If you must know," said Anne. "Elizabeth helped me realize who I wanted to marry and encouraged me to follow my heart."
"Did she really?" scoffed Lady Catherine. "How wonderful of her. So I suppose I have her to thank for this as well?"
"Mother," sighed Anne. "You can blame whomever you choose, but it is not going to alter the facts. I love Richard. And I intend to marry him. With or without your blessings. I had hoped to obtain your blessings today, but if you choose to withhold it, then I will be disappointed, but it will not change my mind."
Lady Catherine looked at her daughter. "You are being too hasty about this matter. Do consider, Anne. And Fitzwilliam, I believe you will agree. You cannot live on these notions of love. Anne, you have not known a day of hardship. What are you to live on? You both will have no means to support yourselves."
"Lady Catherine," said Richard. "I intend to take care of Anne. We shall live at Hayfield Manor which, as you know, has been my estate since grandmama left it to me. We shall have a decent income; not grand, by any means, but enough to support us comfortably. And that is all I ask. A home and means to support Anne. And all I need is your blessings."
Lady Catherine was silent for a moment. "Fitzwilliam, I wish only good things for you, but I cannot approve of this engagement. You both know not what you are about. Love, indeed! Such notions will dissolve with the first sight of hardship. Anne, you really do not suppose you will be happy in Hayfield after you have known the splendors of Rosings, do you?"
"I will be perfectly happy wherever I am," said Anne. "As long as Richard is with me."
"Anne!" cried Lady Catherine in frustration. "This obduracy does not serve you well. I am your mother and I know what is best for you and this is not it. Lord Gerschwin would be a much more suitable match."
"I do not love Lord Gerschwin, mother," Anne said as calmly as she could.
"Child, you will learn to love him," Lady Catherine said.
"You really do not understand, do you?" Anne said. "I had hoped that maybe, just maybe, you would try to forget about your wishes and beliefs for a moment and listen to me. Perhaps then you would see that nothing in this world would make me happier than to be Richard's wife. But I was wrong in supposing you capable of being anything but selfish. I knew you would not give us your blessings, but I still wanted to try. I made a monumental mistake in believing in you, even for a moment." She glanced at Richard, then back at her mother. "Goodbye, mother." Anne practically ran out of the room.
"Well," said Lady Catherine, discomfited. "I do not see why she is so upset."
Richard looked at her. "I am sorry to say this, Lady Catherine, but if you do not change your behavior, you shall be very lonely, indeed." Saying thus, Richard followed his fiancée out of the parlor, leaving a very befuddled Lady Catherine to wonder what exactly had gone wrong and how she had lost control of a situation that she never knew existed.
Richard could hear her muffled cries even before he entered the carriage and it bothered him more than anything else ever had. It took a great deal to make Anne cry openly and judging from her stifled sobs, she was very upset, indeed. Richard cursed under his breath. He wished there was something he could do, but even when they had been in the parlor, he had been powerless to do anything but stand and watch in silence, speaking occasionally. But Richard knew that nothing could be done. Lady Catherine was stubborn and would have to come to terms with the engagement in her own time. Nothing he could say would make the slightest difference. He knew that Anne understood that also, but still, she could not help but be disappointed. When he entered the carriage, he saw that she had buried her face in her hands and was crying interminably, her entire body shaking. Richard could not bear to watch her thus, so he sat next to her and put his arm around her. She responded to his presence by leaning against him, but still not raising her face. Richard did not say anything. He let her tears flow in silence. As much as it hurt him to watch her cry, he knew it would be therapeutic for her to release her pent up emotions. And so they remained for a good 5 minutes. Slowly, as Anne's gentle sobs subsided and tears dried up, she looked up at him, her tear stained face filled with pain. She attempted a wan smile.
"I am sorry you had to witness that," she sighed. "I am sorry that I made it more difficult for us. I am sorry that I acted so foolishly. I am sorry that you had to see me cry. I am just sorry about everything."
Richard looked at her face for a long moment. "Don't be."
"I feel so...stupid," Anne confessed.
"We tried," Richard said.
"Yes we did," Anne sighed. "But I should have known...well, I did know, but it did not stop that tiny ray of hope from existing. I don't know why I was crying. I did not learn something new today, but somehow it just overwhelmed me -- that everyone but my own mother shares in my happiness."
"We did our best," said Richard. "And the rest is up to her."
"I suppose," said Anne.
"No, do not suppose," said Richard. "It is true, unquestionably."
Anne looked at him. "Yes it is."
"No regrets, then?" Richard said.
"No regrets," Anne repeated with a small smile.
He wiped some stray tears from her face. "Never let her make you cry again."
She looked at him, wondering what she had done to deserve him. "I won't."
~~
Elizabeth did not anticipate a wonderful evening, not by far, yet she felt obliged to attend because of Jane. Jane did not ask for her presence specifically, but Elizabeth knew that she wished it. Elizabeth had no desire to see Caroline Bingley again, but it could not be helped. She was Charles' sister, by some cruel design of nature and therefore, had to be endured. When the dinner invitation had arrived a day earlier, Elizabeth's first impulse had been to refuse it, but she had happened to look at Jane and Jane had happened to smile tentatively and so the matter had been decided and here she was, sitting in the Bingley townhouse, with very little to look forward to. Her mother and younger sisters were embarrassing themselves as usual since it was what they did best. Jane and Charles seemed exceptionally happy conversing with the Gardiners and Caroline Bingley was thankfully keeping her distance. Elizabeth was in no humor to deal with Caroline. She knew that her good fortune would not last, however, for that would be too fortuitous. For one, Elizabeth was certain that Charles had invited Darcy and though she longed to see Anne again, she was not thrilled about the prospect of seeing the gentleman. But little could be done about the matter and she would have to summon all her equanimity to survive the evening. Elizabeth found her luck already waning when she saw Caroline approach her and she prepared herself mentally for an attack.
Caroline smiled a fake smile and spoke in an equally fake and insincere manner. "Eliza, my dear girl, how are you this evening?"
"Very well, thank you," said Elizabeth sweetly. "And you?"
"I am marvelous," said Caroline. "I must say that I was surprised to learn that you were in town. I would have thought that after what happened, you would be loathe to return so soon. It has not been that long, has it?"
"No," Elizabeth gritted her teeth. "Jane asked me to help her with her trousseau."
"Yes, of course," said Caroline. "I am so delighted for dear Jane and Charles."
I'm sure you are. Jane had been quick to forgive her former friend and embrace her as a future sister, but Elizabeth was not about to accept the orange-clad monstrosity as a sister. "Of course. I believe they shall be very happy."
"Yes," said Caroline tightly, exposing her views to the contrary. "I must say, I never had the opportunity to express my condolences for what happened. It was a terrible tragedy. We were all shocked when we heard of it. Victor was a dear friend of mine, you must know?"
Elizabeth stiffened when she heard his name, but she attempted to compose herself. "Thank you for your concern, Miss Bingley."
Caroline was not satisfied. "It happened rather suddenly, to be sure. One day everything was perfectly fine and the next, we hear Victor is dead."
"Yes," said Elizabeth. "It happened suddenly." She said no more.
Caroline took her cue and with a few more insincere words, left Elizabeth's side. Elizabeth took a deep breath, annoyed that she allowed Caroline to bother her. But it was not Caroline that bothered her, but what Caroline said. There was no escape to be had, Elizabeth knew, her mind had told her as much. But she could do without the added burden of Caroline's snide remarks. If Caroline only knew how every mention of Victor plunged a dagger through her heart, she would have been satisfied that her mission to torment 'dear Eliza' had been completed. But Caroline had no way to see the pain she caused for Elizabeth was becoming remarkably talented in hiding her pain and her emotions. Even as Elizabeth's thoughts dwelled on Caroline's words, the party from the Darcy townhouse appeared in the drawing room. This is the last thing I need, thought Elizabeth, as she saw Darcy enter the room. His eyes instantly sought her and she colored in spite of herself. She had not seen him since he had left for town several days ago. She, herself, had been in town for a few days and he had made no attempt to see her. Elizabeth's pulse quickened as her eyes met his and she wondered how long it would be before she could see him without that familiar rush of anxiety and nervousness. Georgie smiled diffidently and Elizabeth smiled back, but before Georgie could approach Elizabeth, she was attacked by Caroline and Elizabeth rolled her eyes in sympathy. Elizabeth's eyes then fell on Anne and Richard, who saw her presently and approached her with such sickeningly happy grins on their faces that it restored some of Elizabeth's faith in true love.
"Elizabeth," Anne greeted her friend.
"I was beginning to wonder if you were hiding your Colonel somewhere," said Elizabeth with a smile. "I heard that he was in town, but I had not seen him."
"I was loathe to share him," confided Anne.
"Miss Bennet," Richard bowed slightly. "You look very well."
"Oh the formality," smiled Elizabeth. "Call me Elizabeth, please."
"Richard, then," he said.
"I confess that your coming here has added the sparkle to Anne's eyes."
Richard laughed. "I am glad to here it."
"Do not congratulate yourself yet," said Anne. "I had the sparkle before you arrived."
"See how she treats me, Elizabeth?" Richard grinned. "I am wounded, my dear."
"She is heartless, is she not?" said Elizabeth.
"Do not humor him, Elizabeth," warned Anne. "He gets worse." Richard made few more comments about the tragedy of his existence, then left the ladies to their own devices. As soon as he was gone, Anne said, "Oh Elizabeth, I did not know how much I missed him till he returned."
Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "You seem happy."
"I am happy," Anne felt like screaming, but settled for suppressed enthusiasm.
"Have you spoken with Lady Catherine yet? Is she in town?" Elizabeth asked.
"Yes," Anne's face darkened.
"I take it, it did not go too well?"
"No," said Anne. "It was a disaster. She was furious, first of all, that I went to Hertfordshire. Then she was upset that Richard and I concealed the engagement from her while she plotted my marriage to Lord Gerschwin. Of course it did not help that I lost my temper and well, I suppose I spoke without thinking and told her exactly what I thought of her and that was that."
"Indeed?" Elizabeth said. "Who is Lord Gerschwin?"
"How should I know?" said Anne. "Some decrepit, old earl."
"Poor Lady Catherine," said Elizabeth. "We know how she hates to be disobeyed."
"She will get over it, I dare say," said Anne. "She will glower at the walls for a few days and eventually will realize that there is nothing to be done but embrace Richard and get it over with. That angered me most -- the fact that she would insult Richard by implying that my marrying him was some sort of a disgrace." Anne shook her head. "I am ashamed to say that I allowed her to anger and upset me. I did what I have not done in a long time."
"And what is that?" asked Elizabeth.
"I cried like a baby," confessed Anne.
"Oh, Anne," Elizabeth embraced her friend impulsively.
"Do not worry, I recovered," smiled Anne. "And I am not in a hurry to repeat the performance. Richard was probably scared as it is to see me cry. But he was really remarkably sweet and understanding about it."
"Not remarkable at all," said Elizabeth. "He would do anything for you, he adores you."
"Yes," Anne almost giggled and Elizabeth rolled her eyes. Anne said, "Well, now we must acquaint Richard's family to our engagement and I believe that they will take it much better than mother did. The entire family is coming to town, you know?" Elizabeth confessed that she did not know. "Well, they are -- to welcome Richard home. And well, we are dining at their townhouse tomorrow - Richard and I are and I was wondering if you would come as well?"
"Me? Why?" Elizabeth asked.
"To give me some moral support?" Anne suggested.
"But you said that they would definitely approve?" Elizabeth said. "I would feel awkward -- it is a family affair and I am an outsider."
"Nonsense," said Anne. "You are my adopted sister. Please, Elizabeth?"
"If it means that much to you -- " Elizabeth sighed.
"It does," said Anne excitedly. "Thank you. You will love Richard's family."
Richard joined the ladies soon after and the conversation continued until dinner was announced. Elizabeth had the great misfortune of being seated between Caroline and Darcy. Great, great misfortune. She could hardly speak or move or look edgewise for fear of inviting the Superior Sister's wrath or the gentleman's comments. In actuality, Caroline did not bother Elizabeth as much. Elizabeth knew how to deal with Caroline. She could handle Caroline's snide remarks and veiled attacks with reasonable equanimity. It was Darcy's proximity that irked her more than anything else and she wondered why the honorable hostess had not seated the gentleman next to herself for surely Caroline's preference for Darcy was well advertised and generally accepted as a fact. It must be some sort of mistake, Elizabeth determined. It was impossible to ignore Darcy when he was sitting so close to her. Impossible. So utterly impossible. Especially when her elbow touched his arm accidentally when she reached for the potatoes. Elizabeth pulled her arm back instantly and muttered her apologies, barely courageous enough to look at him, but had she been bold enough to do so, she would have seen a small, inscrutable smile playing on his lips. She did not see that smile, however, or anything else, for that matter, for she steadfastly stared at her plate. She could hear the conversation at the other end of the table. Her mother complimenting the food and the fireplaces. Fireplaces? Elizabeth thought in confusion. Mr. Collins would be proud of mama. She could hear Anne's laughter as Richard made some undoubtedly witty remark. Elizabeth was happy for her friend, very happy indeed, but with that happiness was entwined a small measure of jealousy and the thought that had circumstances been different it could have been her sharing a private joke with Darcy. Elizabeth realized, all of a sudden, that as her mind had been indulging in fantastical dreams, the man who reigned those dreams had been speaking to her and embarrassingly enough, she had no idea what he had just said.
"I beg your pardon?" Elizabeth said awkwardly as she forced herself to look at him.
"I was just saying that the roast is very well done," Darcy said.
"Ah yes -- the roast," Elizabeth said, confused. "Remarkably well done, indeed." Elizabeth wondered for a moment, why he had commented on the roast, but then realized that Darcy was making an effort to converse politely, an art form that he was not very proficient in and so, his efforts had to be commended. She, herself, had recently been lacking in that department; indeed, she could be decried as unforgivably rude on some occasions, but Elizabeth begged to think that recently she had earned the right to be uncivil at times, for the sake of her won sanity. Whatever the case might be, Elizabeth searched her brain for some neutral, safe subject of conversation to end the uneasy silence. "I..." Darcy looked at her as she began, instantly causing her to lose her train of thoughts. "You...um...left for town rather suddenly, Mr. Darcy." Not that it is any of my business - I do not care at all -- indeed, I am just making idle conversation - polite, idle conversation. Very harmless. Even strangers have idle conversations.
"Yes, I had some business here," Darcy responded. I had to distance myself from you - if only temporarily.
What sort of business, I wonder? "Well, as you must know, Jane wished to come to town to search for a wedding gown and I, of course, accompanied her because she asked me." There is no other reason why I am here. None. I did not miss you. I did not want to see you. I did not even want to come. Elizabeth wondered whom she was trying to convince: Darcy or herself. Not that he can hear me or anything, but if he could....
"Of course," said Darcy. "I hope the search has been fruitful?" So is that the only reason you came to town?
"The search?" Elizabeth had not been paying very close attention and had no idea what he spoke of. Her mind had a strange way of interfering with annoying thoughts. I need to get away from him.
"For the wedding gown?" Darcy said. Is she even listening to me?
"Oh yes, of course." Elizabeth felt like screaming. Stupid Lizzy. Listen to the man when he is speaking! Have you forgotten how to converse politely. Indeed, you must have. "No, Jane has not yet found the perfect gown, but we do hope to find one in the near future." There, you see. I am capable of speaking like a rational human being -- well, for short intervals of time and only when you are not present.
"I wish you luck in that endeavor." I wonder if she is as nervous as I am.
"Thank you," Elizabeth said. I wonder if he is as nervous as I am.
"Not at all," murmured Darcy with a small smile.
It was at times like these, when she was subjected to his maddening dimples and tentative smiles, that Elizabeth most wished she was far, far away; away from him, from his charm, from everything. She wondered with surprise how she had ever found him unappealing. But if she were to be honest with herself, she would have to admit that she had never truly found him unappealing. Even when she had first met him, when he had saved her from those highwaymen, he had intrigued her, but she had never allowed herself to be swayed by his charm. Even when she had believed the worst of him and had refused him bitterly, she had known, in her heart, that she did not hate him. It was impossible to hate him. Now or ever. Elizabeth, thankfully, was saved from further conversation with Darcy when Mr. Gardiner, who was sitting on the other side of Darcy, began speaking with him. Elizabeth sighed in relief and the meal, itself, concluded soon after, and she quitted Darcy's side with a sense of relief that might have been felt by prisoners in captivation who escape from their captors. A sense of ecstatic freedom for Darcy's closeness arose in her breast too many conflicting emotions. Waves of powerful love followed by equally strong notions of the impossibility of such unions as she had been furtively dreaming of. It was frustrating, to say the least. Elizabeth resolved to dwell on Darcy no more, a resolve that was facilitated by the gentlemen removing themselves to another room. Elizabeth had some pleasant, Darcy-free conversation with Georgie and Anne, and some unpleasant exchanges with Caroline Bingley. Her mother, thankfully, did not direct any remarks towards her, although Lydia did make some alarming displays. But Elizabeth bore it all suitably well. After that horrendous dinner sitting next to Darcy, Elizabeth was prepared for anything. Well, almost.
When the gentlemen returned, a desire for some musical entertainment was expressed. Caroline said, "Dear Georgiana, I long to hear you play."
Georgie looked alarmed. "I -- ah, me?"
"Of course," said Caroline. "You excel so much at the pianoforte that it would a shame to deprive us of the pleasure of hearing you."
Georgie did not seem convinced, the idea of playing in front of so many people did not appeal to her in the least. But Elizabeth, who was sitting next to her, happened to whisper a few encouraging words in her ears and Georgie smiled. Momentarily, she accepted Caroline's invitation to play and seated herself in front of the pianoforte. As her fingers moved skillfully about the instrument and music filled the room, Caroline glared at Elizabeth in jealous rage. She had witnessed enough to alarm her. She had eavesdropped as much as possible during Elizabeth's dinner conversation with Darcy. She already knew of the gentleman's strange admiration of Elizabeth's so-called fine eyes, but that had not alarmed her till today when she detected some sort of subdued tension between the two persons. Elizabeth, moreover, seemed to be on exceedingly friendly terms with Anne and Richard as well as Georgie. They should be my friends, not hers. She is stealing them from me. Caroline had never been so desperately envious of anyone in her life. And to think that this state had arrived due to a mere country girl with little manners, no beauty and surely, no sophistication. That wounded Caroline the most. She would not have resented it as much if Darcy had been fixated on a baroness or some other reputable member of the ton, but Eliza Bennet Wickham. Surely that surname could not be overlooked so hastily. She might be a widow now, but Elizabeth still used to be married to Darcy's hated enemy and nemesis and he could not be allowed to forget that. A plan began to form in Caroline's brain and likewise, she stole a glance at Elizabeth, who was intently listening to Georgie's playing and cleared her throat.
"Perhaps you could play for us next, Mrs. Wickham?"
Before Elizabeth could respond in any manner, her attention was diverted to the pianoforte since Georgie faltered on hearing the dreaded name. Elizabeth glared fleetingly at Caroline as she rushed to the pianoforte. "How thoughtless of us. You play with no one to turn the pages." Elizabeth hurriedly turned the page. "There, much better."
Georgie resumed playing, but Elizabeth did not move from the pianoforte. She slowly raised her eyes to meet another pair that she knew were focussed on her. And sure enough, they were. Somehow, all of Elizabeth's recent nervousness and confusion evaporated in that one moment when she looked into his eyes boldly and steadily. She found it difficult to read the expression in his eyes, but the overarching message seemed to be thank you, Elizabeth determined and all she could do in response was allow her eyes to say my pleasure. She did not look away because she would have him know that no matter what happened between them, she cared enough for him and his sister to protect them both, to the best of her abilities. Perhaps that did not mean a great deal since any protection she could offer would not be considerable, yet it was the best she could do. Elizabeth could not tear her eyes away from his, even though she knew she should. She was drowning in them, in their darkness, in their gentle softness. The remainder of the room disappeared. All other curious eyes and faces matter but little. It was just her and him, her eyes and his; one look, one incredible moment and nothing more. Somehow she knew that he understood. He had to understand. In that moment, it was all clear. Evident and clear to him. She knew she could not hide it at all. Her love shone through in her eyes, she knew. It was in the open and now he knew. And he understood. Her love and her reservations. There were still the reservations that would prevent her from ever acting upon her impulses. At least he understood. Now she could breathe in relief for now he knew what perhaps was not clear before. She would be truly surprised if it was not clear still. Her eyes were notoriously inept at hiding her emotions. A fool could tell what was in her heart. And he, most certainly, was not a fool. As the piece ended, the applause awoke Elizabeth to reality and she rather reluctantly tore her eyes from his. It had ended, the ephemeral dream had ended and now, it was time for reality.
The remainder of the evening passed without any remarkable occurrence. Georgie played a few more pieces, as did Caroline. Elizabeth politely but firmly refused requests to play. She was simply too distracted and distraught, perhaps, to do justice to the instrument. Jane enjoyed Bingley's company very much indeed, but the time for temporary separation had arrived. Due to the rather late hour, it was determined that it was time for departure. The Gardiners and the Bennets took their leave and one person, at least, in that party was happy to leave the house and its guests behind. No sooner had that party begun to leave that Darcy also suggested their departure. Despite Caroline's emphatic opposition to that proposal, the rest of the party agreed and so they began to follow the Gardiners and the Bennets. Anne and Richard lingered behind the others as the hosts were being thanked. Anne delighted in this opportunity to speak to her fiancé for surely there was much to tell.
"Richard, did you see that?" Anne said.
"See what?" asked Richard.
"Darce and Elizabeth," said Anne. "They could not tear their eyes from each other."
"I must have missed it," admitted Richard. "I had eyes only for you."
Anne giggled. "Well, anyway, did you speak with Darce?"
"Yes," nodded Richard. "He will be there."
"So will Elizabeth," said Anne with unhidden glee. "Phase One, Operation Love is in motion."
Richard smiled at her. "Let the games begin."
Chapter 50
"Are you certain that Richard's family will not object to my presence?" asked Elizabeth.
"Not a chance," Anne smoothed a crease on her gown as the carriage set in motion. "They are not like my mother, even if Uncle Henry is her brother. And you will simply adore Aunt Helen - she is absolutely the wittiest woman I know; well, except for me, of course. And Andy, well he is Andy and as long as you do not venture very close to him, I believe all shall be well."
"Andy?" Elizabeth repeated, slightly puzzled.
"Richard's older brother, Lord Andrew," Anne said.
"I see," said Elizabeth. "And he's dangerous?"
"Very," Anne nodded. "So keep your distance."
"Anne, surely you jest. He is your cousin. How bad can he be?"
"Very bad indeed," said Anne. "Do not take this lightly, Elizabeth. He is a cad, a rake. He has broken more hearts and flirted more shamelessly than anyone else in town. I dare say that he will try and flirt with you as well, but do not take offense. That is just how he is. But if he asks to take you on a ride, please run in the opposite direction as if you were being chased by a pack of hounds."
Elizabeth laughed. "I am looking forward to meeting your Lord Andy."
"I am not," pouted Anne. "He will tease me about Richard, I know he will."
"I see the problem now," said Elizabeth. "You are threatened by his teasing abilities and so you paint him in such poor light."
Anne glared at her. "Well, just do not say I didn't warn you."
Elizabeth smiled. "So...do they - do they know about me?"
Anne understood immediately. "All they know is that my friend, Elizabeth Bennet will be joining them for dinner. Nothing more. Unless Richard told them something, but I doubt that he did. He has no reason to say anything, so I am fairly certain that nothing has been revealed."
"Thank you," Elizabeth said. "It will be a refreshing change to meet people who do not pity me or abhor me or judge me."
"Elizabeth, Caroline Bingley is a desperate woman, so you cannot pay heed to anything she says," Anne said. "And no one besides her abhors or judges you. We all love you very much and 'pity' is not a word I would ever associate with you. You, Elizabeth, are a very strong, brave woman. I dare say I would not have been able to survive all that you did. I admire and respect you and can only wish I am granted half as much strength as you possess."
Elizabeth smiled wanly. "Somehow I doubt that you truly respect my decisions."
Anne could not deny that. "Well, I might differ from your views and I might think that your decisions are a little misguided, but I respect you for having the courage to make them. Not many people would be able to make those decisions, Elizabeth. Most any other woman would not have been this strong, would have sought Darce's protection immediately. But you, you are different. For whatever reason, you believe that you and Darce are not meant to be and as much as I disagree with that, it is admirable that you have the courage to stand by your convictions. I do respect your decisions. I might try to change your mind, but I do respect you."
Elizabeth looked away. "You have not given up on that yet?"
Anne shrugged. "Perhaps."
Elizabeth glanced at her friend. "It is useless."
"I can still hope, can I not?" asked Anne.
"As long as you do not try to change my mind," Elizabeth smiled slightly.
"Of course," Anne smiled back. "I intend to behave and keep my wishes to myself."
"Now I am really afraid," Elizabeth shook her head.
~~
"So, Darce, I heard that Bing got engaged?" Andy said.
"Yes, he did," said Darcy. "To Miss Jane Bennet, a most delightful girl."
"He found her in the country, did he not?"
"Charles did not find her, Andy, she is not a prized game. But yes, he met her in Hertfordshire."
Andy laughed. "Darce, you seem really upset. Is something the matter?"
"No," Darcy said shortly.
"Oh come, tell me. I am your cousin, you know. I may be able to help?"
"Nothing's the matter," Darcy repeated stubbornly.
"Richard," Andy called his brother as he walked by. "What is the matter with Darce? Is he in love? That would explain his sullen mood."
Richard looked at Darcy briefly. "I do not know what you mean, Andy."
"Fine," Andy said. "I do not need you. I will find out anyway." He paused. "So what is this dinner about?"
"What do you mean?" asked Richard.
"Well, why exactly are we having this dinner?" asked Andy. "With Anne, no less. You have been acting very strange today, Richard -- very nervous and excited. Something is clearly amiss and I am certain it has something to do with this dinner. Have you been hiding something?"
"You will find out soon enough," Richard said mysteriously as he left to speak with his parents.
"Well, then," Andy said. "Seems like everyone is bent on keeping secrets from me."
"Maybe there is a reason for that, Andy," said Darcy. "Think about it."
"Darce, you wound me terribly," Andy said dramatically.
"At least some good will come of the evening, then," Darcy mumbled.
"You have to be in love," said Andy. "Otherwise you would not be so cruel."
Darcy looked at his cousin and sighed. "I am sorry, Andy. I am just out of spirits, is all."
Before Andy could respond, the guests were announced and as soon entered the parlor. Darcy rose to greet Anne and had not walked two steps when he noticed who was standing by her side. Elizabeth. He did not question her presence, he was too taken aback to question anything. He had not expected to see her again so soon. Not a day had passed since their last meeting and he was still recovering from it. She happened to look about the room as Anne introduced her to their aunt and uncle and her eyes happened to meet his. She looked away just as quickly. Darcy was almost relieved. He did not know if he could endure another exchange like that so soon. Not that he did not have a longing - a longing too deep to deny - to lose himself in her eyes once again. But he was as yet attempting to understand the previous night's exchange. She had looked at him so unabashedly and Darcy knew not if he dared to believe that it was love he had seen. Yet he could not be mistaken, he could not be so mistaken, so blind, so wrong. It had been love. She had saved Georgie from certain humiliation and then she had looked at him. Her eyes had been so soft and warm and kind. He had never witnessed anything like that before. He was accustomed to seeing her eyes lash out in anger or sparkle with amusement or dance with mischief. But this look had been different. There had been such tenderness as he had never imagined possible directed at him. It had almost seemed as though she were trying to say something, but could not. Not aloud anyway, for her eyes had spoken volumes. Darcy did not know if it was better or worse that he knew she loved him. On one hand, his heart nearly sang with joy and euphoria at the unspoken words, the endless promise of it all. But on the other hand, it was even more painful for he had no assurance that there would ever be a time when she would be able to express that love openly. It was so frustrating and Darcy cursed his luck, once again, that Wickham had gotten to her first.
Andy, meanwhile, noticed Anne's pretty friend and was about to go and introduce himself when Anne and Elizabeth walked in their direction. As the necessary introductions were made, Andy raised his eyebrows. "Bennet? Would you be related at all to Miss Jane Bennet?"
"I am her sister," Elizabeth responded.
"Is that so?" Andy said. "If your sister is anything like you, Bing is a very lucky man, indeed." Elizabeth blushed; Anne and Darcy simply rolled their eyes.
"Well, I certainly believe so," Elizabeth said. "Jane is lucky also. In short, they deserve each other."
"True love," said Andy with a grin. "There is nothing better, is there?"
Elizabeth forced herself not to glance at Darcy. "I suppose not."
"How did you come to be acquainted with Anne, Miss Bennet?"
"Elizabeth stayed with me at Rosings for a while," Anne interrupted, aware that such a question could drudge some unwanted memories for Elizabeth.
"Oh?" said Andy.
"Yes, she was there when Darce and Richard visited."
"Really," Andy seemed interested. "Why was I not invited?"
"Andy," Anne looked at him. "Mother invites you to Rosings every year; you just never come."
"Oh right," Andy said with a glance at Elizabeth. "My loss."
"Indeed," Anne said.
Richard approached them with a grin on his face. "Anne?"
"Now?" Anne looked at him.
"Now what?" Andy said suspiciously.
"Why not," said Richard.
"Alright," Anne looked at Elizabeth. "Here we go."
Richard and Anne walked towards Richard's parents. Andy followed them as did Darcy and Elizabeth. Richard cleared his throat to capture everyone's attention, but that was unnecessary. All eyes were already trained on him and all conversation had ceased. Richard smiled as he stood in the middle of the parlor, Anne at his side. He knew that his family would react favorably, yet the feeling of nervousness stubbornly refused to melt away. The best way, he knew, was to just say it and be done with it. He glanced at Anne and she smiled encouragingly. And Richard felt his nervousness ease. She was by his side and nothing would go wrong. Even if it did, he doubted that he would care. As long as Anne remained on his side, he felt invincible. Nothing could hurt him, not words, not disapproval, nothing. He realized that his audience was waiting for him to speak, so he gathered his thoughts and cleared his throat once again.
"Tonight is very special," Richard began. "It is very special for me." He paused. "I do not know how to say it, so I will just say it outright. Mother, father, Andy -- Anne and I are engaged."
"You are what?" Andy said.
Richard looked at him. "We are engaged to be married."
"Oh Richard!" said Lady Helen. "And Anne." She rose and embraced the couple.
"Congratulations, my boy," Lord Henry patted his son on his back. "And you," he smiled at Anne. "You, sly little thing. I had no idea."
"I knew it would happen," said Lady Helen. Lord Henry looked at her skeptically. "Well, I did. Do you not remember, Henry? Anne would follow Darcy and Richard everywhere. She wanted to play with the boys at the lake in Pemberley. She cried when Richard refused to play with her."
"I did not," Anne said.
"Yes you did, darling," smiled Lady Helen.
"Well he did not deserve my tears," said Anne. "He was a nasty, mean boy - he threw my toys in the lake."
"Did I really?" Richard smirked.
"Yes," Anne frowned.
"I am sorry," Richard smiled and Anne's face softened immediately.
"Who would have thought - ?" Andy grinned at the couple. "Anne and Richard." He approached the couple. "Richard and Anne. I never thought it possible. And yet here we are." His grin widened. "So, my little brother, you are going to take the great plunge into matrimony. With our little Anne. I always thought I would be the first to marry. I suppose I was wrong."
"Andy, dear," said Lady Helen. "Any woman who would consent to marry you must be daft or a gold digger."
"Mother," said Andy with mock-seriousness. "I am hurt."
"Oh, come, Andy, that does not surprise you," laughed Lady Helen. "You have yet to fancy the same girl for more than 1 week at a time. You do not really believe that any sensible woman will consent to marry you in that short amount of time."
"I might surprise you yet," said Andy. He looked at his brother. "But now, I am all curiosity. How did this come to pass?"
"We are in love and we got engaged. That simple," said Anne.
"Yes, but how -- what happened? How did it happen?" said Andy. "Details, details."
"I can help you with that, Andy," Darcy spoke up.
"Were you there when it happened?" said Andy.
"Yes, in the bushes, if I remember correctly," Darcy said.
"Yes," nodded Elizabeth. "It was rather uncomfortable, I might add."
Andy looked at her. "This is getting more interesting by the second. Pray, do tell."
"Well, Anne and Richard were in love," said Elizabeth. "But they would not admit it to each other. We tried everything, but it just would not happen. I think they were both insecure about it. So we devised a plan -- "
"Is this really necessary?" said Anne. "No one is interested."
"Be quiet, Anne," Andy said. "Yes, go on, Miss Bennet."
Elizabeth ignored Anne's glare. "Richard thought that Anne was engaged to someone else and was very jealous. We - Mr. Darcy and I - decided to play on that jealousy by having Richard "accidentally" happen upon the so-called engaged couple. He reacted better than we imagined. He hit the gentleman and went away in a jealous rage. Anne followed him and we followed Anne. Hence, the bushes."
"So you eavesdropped?" Lady Helen said.
"In a manner of speaking," said Darcy. "It was much too interesting." Anne and Richard were blushing furiously. "I think we are embarrassing them."
"Are we?" smirked Andy. "So much the better."
"Did you tell Catherine?" asked Lord Henry.
"Yes," said Anne. "She did not take it very well."
"Why?" said Lady Helen. "Is my Richard not good enough for her?"
"You know Lady Catherine," said Richard. "It is not personal."
"No, it never is," agreed Lady Helen. "She hates everyone equally."
"She is quite put out that she was not consulted in the matter," said Anne. "She had almost finalized my engagement to Lord Gerschwin."
"And she has bad taste as well," said Lady Helen. "Lord Gerschwin is detestable."
"I am glad I have Richard, then," smiled Anne.
"And that is the only reason?" Andy said.
Anne glared at him. "I will not even answer that."
"Come, Anne," said Andy with a smile. "We shall be brother and sister now."
"Oh, the horror," said Anne dryly.
"A price that you have to pay to marry this clown," Andy pointed at Richard.
"A price I am willing to pay," said Anne. "Besides, I do not intend to see you more than twice a year."
"Does that mean I will not be welcome at Hayfield Manor?" Andy said.
"Your skills of deduction are astounding, truly," said Anne.
"Children, please," Lady Helen interrupted. "Let us dine now. It is time to celebrate."
As fate would have it, Darcy was placed as far away from Elizabeth as possible, much to Anne's consternation. The situation was further exacerbated by Andy's being seated next to Elizabeth. Anne groaned inwardly, especially when she saw that Elizabeth laughed a good deal. Andy was a charmer, there was no escaping that fact. He might be insincere and a cad, but he could charm any woman, no matter how determined she was not to be charmed. Anne was not concerned about Elizabeth as such. Yet she did not appreciate the fact that Andy was taking Elizabeth's attentions away from Darce. The object was to allow Elizabeth and Darce to have some quality time with each other, and Andy was ruining it. Anne glanced at Darcy, who was effectively glowering at Andy. Poor Darce, Anne thought, he does not deserve it. Darcy felt his blood boil with every successive sound of Elizabeth's laugh. He envied Andy now more than ever before. He envied his ease and his ability to make Elizabeth laugh. At some level he knew that Elizabeth could laugh with him because she did not care him, she had no history with him. But in that moment it did not matter. For all intents and purposes she was laughing with Andy and that bothered Darcy. He was not a jealous man by nature and perhaps he would not have minded it so much had it been any other person. But Andy was a different story. He was a charmer and a flirt and Darcy did not want him anywhere near Elizabeth. The last thing she needed was another glib charmer in her life. Darcy realized he was being overprotective and slightly unreasonable. It was only Andy, after all, but he believed that he had a right to be overprotective and unreasonable. Since he had not been able to protect her from Wickham, he would always be overprotective of her whether he had the right to be or not. The only redeeming feature of the dinner was when Elizabeth glanced at him once or twice, signaling, at least, that she was thinking of him as well. Or perhaps she just wanted the potatoes. Darcy groaned. It must be the potatoes.
When the gentlemen exited to the adjoining room after dinner, Richard and Lord Henry discussed the engagement some more, leaving Darcy ample time and opportunity to attack Andy. "So...Andy...You certainly seemed to have enjoyed dinner."
"Indeed," grinned Andy. "I never understood why Bing took that house in the country and now I know. That Bing proved himself smarter than us all. While we wasted our times here in town, he found himself the very place - Hertfordshire. How very unexpected, is it not?"
"Indeed," said Darcy, trying to think of a delicate way to address the situation. "Say, Andy, will you stay away from Miss Bennet." How delicate, Darce..
Andy looked at him. "What?"
"Stay away from her," repeated Darcy. "Leave her alone. She is very vulnerable right now and she really does not need your brand of flirting."
"Darce, how presumptuous of you," said Andy. "To think that I have anything but the most noble intentions towards Miss Bennet."
"Spare me, Andy," said Darcy. "I know you too well - unfortunately."
"So you think you can just dictate my life?" said Andy. "What gives you that right?"
"I am Eliz - Miss Bennet's friend," Darcy managed to correct himself just in time.
Andy noticed the slip, however. "Elizabeth, huh?" he paused. "I am beginning to understand." He slapped his forehead. "It makes sense. You are in love with her, are you not? That is why you've been glum all evening, staring at her fixedly when you thought no one was looking. I noticed it early on, but could not account for it for surely you have never had the taste for country girls. Bing has changed your mind, has he? I cannot believe it - you are jealous of me. Now this is rich. Darce is jealous of silly, little Andy." Andy laughed.
"I am glad you are enjoying this," said Darce.
"It is not everyday that I get to laugh at you," said Andy. "But this changes everything, Darce. Whatever you might think of me, I am not that base. I will stay away from your precious Miss Bennet because we both know that were she exposed to my superior charm for extended amounts of time, she would transfer her affections immediately. Say, Darce, if you are this much in love, why have you not spoken more than 2 words to her the entire evening?"
Good question. "I told you, Andy. We are just friends."
"Even friends talk more than you both did," said Andy. "I talk to strangers more than you talked to her. A word of advice, old chap, sometimes when you love someone, it helps if you talk to them. That way they know that you know they exist. See the logic?" Darcy smiled slightly. "I knew you would. I mean, it makes some degree of sense, does it not? You could continue with your own non-speaking model, I suppose, but somehow I doubt that it would be conducive to any sort of relationship."
"You do have a point, I suppose," Darcy said.
"Of course I do. I am the expert, remember?"
"Yes, indeed," Darcy said.
The gentlemen returned to the ladies soon after, mostly because Richard was anxious to return to Anne. Andy reminded Darcy that he needed to talk to Elizabeth, but it was easier said than done. Andy had forgotten an important point - the other person had to wish to talk as well and it did not seem as though Elizabeth was in a mood to talk; with him anyway. Elizabeth was not wholly silent, however, a fact that cheered Darcy somewhat since it allowed him to listen to her voice at least. She and Andy teased Richard and Anne some more. Lady Helen joined in occasionally as did Darcy. It was very entertaining for all parties concerned for they seldom had the opportunity to see Anne or Richard flustered and they seemed very flustered indeed and it seemed best to take advantage of the situation while it lasted. At length, Elizabeth expressed a desire to leave, she had promised she would return in good time. Anne called for the carriage, but then remembered that her coachman would not be available till a little while later. Coincidentally, Anne also remembered that Darcy intended to leave early as well since Georgie was home nursing a little headache. So Anne suggested that Darcy escort Elizabeth home in his carriage. Elizabeth glared at Anne wondering if there was any way for her to be more obvious, but she truly had little choice in the matter. Darcy did not protest to the plan, so Elizabeth took her leave, Darcy following her. As he did, Andy made gestures encouraging him to talk and Darcy smiled slightly. Perhaps he had misjudged Andy - he might not be as much of a cad after all. Darcy followed Elizabeth to the carriage in resolute silence, a silence that continued as they were seated opposite each other. The coachman was given directions and once the carriage was in motion, it became essential to break the silence or both of them would be driven mad by the echo of their own conflicting thoughts.
"Well..." began Darcy.
"Well," said Elizabeth.
"I hope that you -- ah, enjoyed your evening?" Darcy said.
"Yes, I did, thank you," Elizabeth said. "Your family is very agreeable."
Darcy smiled. "I suppose so."
"Lord Andrew is rather amusing," Elizabeth said.
"Yes he is," Darcy looked at her. "He is very amusing."
Elizabeth bit her lips, fighting the urge to relapse into silence again. "Anne and Richard seemed very happy tonight. I am happy for them."
"Oh yes, of course," said Darcy. "I am glad that everything went smoothly tonight. Lady Catherine was very adamant in her disapproval."
"So I heard," said Elizabeth. "I cannot imagine her being cross for very long, though. Whatever her faults, she does love Anne, I believe."
"I believe she does," Darcy said, encouraged by this sustained conversation. "So...um, how is the- the search for the gown?" Brilliant, just brilliant.
Elizabeth smiled. "Well, some progress is being made, I believe."
"That is good news," Darcy said. "And how are you enjoying town?"
"As much as I conceivably could," Elizabeth said softly.
Darcy looked at her. "I -- yes, of course..."
"I hope that Georgie's headache was not too bad?" Elizabeth changed the topic.
"No, not at all," said Darcy. "It was not very grave, but still I felt that she should rest at home."
"That is wise," said Elizabeth. "Did she protest?"
"Very much," Darcy smiled. "She wanted to see Andy again."
"Well I am sure there will be other opportunities."
"Unfortunately, yes."
Elizabeth raised her eyebrows. "Both Anne and you seem to entertain poor impressions of Lord Andrew?"
"He is harmless," Darcy admitted. "But he is also a determined flirt."
"As I witnessed today," Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "But I cannot imagine that he would be a bad influence on Georgie."
"I suppose not," Darcy agreed. "She adores him, you know?"
"It is not hard to conceive," Elizabeth said. "It is easy to like men such as Lord Andrew."
Men such as Andy...like Wickham and Victor? "Is it really? Then men such as myself who cannot charm a room in a minute are at a disadvantage."
"I believe not, Mr. Darcy," said Elizabeth. "It would be rather boring if every gentleman was a charmer, it would remove the novelty of it."
"So I am boring as well?" Darcy smiled faintly.
Elizabeth looked at him. "You are determined to twist my words, are you not?"
"Yes, more or less," Darcy said.
They were silent again, but it was not as much of an uncomfortable silence. Darcy looked at Elizabeth furtively and was rewarded by the small smile playing on her lips. He had been a little discomfited by Anne's obvious attempts to get them alone, but he did not think he would reproach her just yet. Unwelcome as her intrusion had been, it had led to the longest, most civil conversation he had had with Elizabeth in a long time, for which he was thankful. Elizabeth glanced at Darcy a few times and on each occasion, she found him looking at her with a thoughtful expression on his face. She wondered what he was thinking. She wondered in what light he regarded her now. Did he suppose her selfish and unfeeling or did he understand her? Either way, she could not deny the hope in her heart that he didn't hate her. She would understand if he did. She had given him nothing but grief since the first moment they had met. It would be understandable if he hated her, abhorred her, detested her. But Elizabeth knew it would break her heart if he did. She could not bear to think that he hated her. It would be easy if he did, easy on her, at least for she would no longer have to endure his company when her heart wanted nothing more than to fly into his arms. If she knew that his heart was cold, she would have nothing more to worry about. And yet, such a knowledge would bring infinite sadness, Elizabeth knew. It was so contradictory. She knew not what she wanted: his love or his disgust. But it was hardly her choice. Elizabeth sighed inwardly. It was all Anne's fault. Anne forced her to be thus confused. If it had not been for Anne's maneuvers, she would not be in this carriage alone with him at this moment. Which would be a good thing, Elizabeth thought decidedly. Well, not entirely because she did enjoy the company. Oh, dash it all.
"I wish I could get back at Anne," Elizabeth thought aloud without realizing it.
Darcy understood her instantly. "Maybe you can?"
She looked at him. "How?"
Chapter 51
"Well, all you really need is some way to disconcert Anne," Darcy said.
"Indeed," Elizabeth said. "I need a clever trick to play on her. She has outmaneuvered me one too many times."
"Well...what would surprise and discomfit Anne more than anything else?"
Elizabeth thought for a moment. "I could tell her that I was joining a nunnery."
Darcy looked at her. "That is it."
"Mr. Darcy, I was just being facetious," Elizabeth said, alarmed.
"Why? It is a remarkable idea. I can think of nothing that would alarm Anne more."
"She would never believe me," Elizabeth said.
"You must make her believe you, then," said Darcy.
"But she will see right through me. I am a horrible liar."
"I am certain you are not such a bad liar."
Elizabeth smiled. "I think I shall take that as a compliment."
"Indeed," Darcy smiled as well. "Do you not hate the way Anne always interferes?"
"Very much so."
"Then it is time that we show her some of our own trickery."
"The idea does have some merit, I suppose," Elizabeth said.
"It is brilliant," Darcy said. "I can just imagine the look on Anne's face when you tell her. She will be distracted beyond belief." He paused. "It is a little cruel, I suppose, playing with her like that, but I think she deserves it. She is too clever and sarcastic by half. But I insist on being there to witness it. How about if you come to the townhouse tomorrow. What do you think?"
"I think it could work," Elizabeth smiled.
"It will work," said Darcy. "Anne will be frantic and shocked and we will have a good laugh out of it."
"Assuming I can make her believe me."
"I am certain you can," Darcy said.
"Mr. Darcy," Elizabeth said. "You seem to be enjoying yourself. I never glimpsed this decidedly evil side of you before."
Darcy laughed. "Well, what can I say - Anne brings out the worst in me."
"It is not all bad," Elizabeth smiled.
"Then you approve?" Darcy looked at her.
Elizabeth looked at him. A note of soft wistfulness had crept into his voice just then. One moment he had been playfully plotting revenge on Anne and the next moment, he was looking at her with that inscrutable expression in his eyes. Elizabeth did not know what he expected her to say. How was she to respond? Of course she approved. There was nothing he could say or do that she would not approve of. She did not know if he was serious or was just being playful. Indeed, Elizabeth was so little accustomed to his playful side that she was quite taken aback. His eyes seemed serious, no matter the smile on his face. Did he still not know of her love? Of course he must. She had no doubt that her eyes had betrayed her the previous night. But was it not possible that now Darcy was simply teasing her? It was quite possible. Elizabeth scolded herself for being so silly, so self-involved. But she could not help it. There was no helping it. That tone in Darcy's voice had sealed her fate. Even if he had intended to make light of the matter, she could not do the same. Just as her eyes had betrayed her, his voice betrayed him. Perhaps he had intended for the question to be of little consequence, but she could not take it in that manner. His tone had been wistful, pleading almost and it tugged at her heart. How she longed that she could look at him now and tell him all, tell him everything. Tell him of her love, how this separation pained her, how she ached with longing, how she tormented herself every time she saw him. But nothing would be accomplished if she did tell him any of that. What did she hope to accomplish? Satisfy her own hurting heart for surely nothing else could be accomplished. She felt disgusted at her selfishness once again. Her words could only pain him. He would never understand why she was doing what she was. It was better to be silent on that subject.
"I always approve of sweet revenge," Elizabeth managed to say.
Darcy's eyes did not move from her face. "Indeed. I would never have imagined you to be a vengeful sort of person."
"I reserve this side of me for special occasions."
"Indeed?"
"Yes, you are the first person to see it, Mr. Darcy."
"Then I suppose I should feel fortunate."
"Or sadly unfortunate," Elizabeth said. "Depends on your point of view."
"It does, indeed," Darcy said softly. "Every situation can be seen in very different lights depending on point of view."
Elizabeth looked at him. "Yes, but some situations can warrant but one point of view."
"Perhaps," said Darcy. "But the imaginative mind always sees things differently."
"And you, do you possess an imaginative mind, Mr. Darcy?"
Darcy smiled. "I should hope so."
"But is it not foolish to obstinately misinterpret a situation?"
"Then I wish to be foolish," Darcy said gravely.
"A strange wish, that," said Elizabeth, slightly confused.
"I never said I was not strange," Darcy said.
"Indeed and I never accused you of being normal."
"True, nor I you," Darcy smiled.
"We can be strange to our hearts' content, then?"
"If we so wish, yes."
"That is relieving. I shall have to pretend no more," Elizabeth said playfully.
"You should never have to pretend with me, Miss Bennet."
Elizabeth took a deep breath. "Thank you."
Darcy could see the moisture in her eyes and he desperately wondered what caused it to appear. Surely not his words? He had not intended to upset her, indeed he hardly knew what did upset her. They had been playful and serious by turn, but the tension had been palpable throughout. It almost seemed to Darcy that the moisture had appeared with her small 'thank you,' and he only wondered why. He had no way of knowing that she had been deeply touched by his words, his assurance that she never had to pretend when she was with him. Everywhere else she had to pretend - to be happy, to be content, to be satisfied. But with him, she could be as openly sad or ironic as she wished. Such freedom, such a generous offer could not help but overwhelm her and bring tears to her eyes. He was too kind, had always been too kind and considerate. Darcy did not know any of that. He just saw the small tears spring in her eyes conspicuously and wondered how he had managed to hurt her again. He was at a loss and it was a sinking feeling. He knew that time was of the essence. Elizabeth needed time, but if he managed to make her cry every time he saw her, she would not be able to heal in any amount of time. Darcy glanced at her furtively. She looked very thoughtful and he would have given all his wealth to know what she was thinking. Was she thinking of him and if she was, what were her thoughts? Darcy noticed, for the first time, that her face looked very haggard, her eyes just as tired and sleepless. He had not realized how fatigued she must be, both mentally and physically. The past few weeks had not been easy on her and the stress certainly showed, manifesting itself in the dark lines under her eyes and the unexpected paleness of her complexion. It wounded Darcy to see her thus. If only there was some way he could relieve all her stress, allow her to sleep peacefully, bring a real, carefree smile to her face. If only he could gather her in his arms and make her forget all else. Darcy ached so to do just that and it took all his self control to prevent such impulsiveness. Thankfully, the carriage stopped, signaling their arrival at the Gardiners'. Darcy alighted from the carriage and handed Elizabeth out, delighting in the touch of her hand. He held her fingers for a moment more than necessary before releasing her.
"So..." began Darcy.
"So," said Elizabeth.
"You will come tomorrow?"
"Yes," nodded Elizabeth. "Will you be there?"
"I would not miss it for the world."
"It might not work as well as we planned."
"Still it is worth a try, is it not?" said Darcy.
"I believe so," said Elizabeth, then she smiled. "I hope Anne falls for it."
"As do I," said Darcy. "It is the opportunity of a lifetime."
"Yes, indeed."
"Can I tell Georgie of our plan?"
"Yes," she nodded. "She will enjoy it, I dare say."
"Indeed, she will."
"I should go now," said Elizabeth.
"Yes." Please don't go.
"Thank you for bringing me home," said Elizabeth softly.
"My pleasure." Believe me. Darcy began to walk Elizabeth towards the house.
"Do not bother, I can walk by myself."
Darcy stopped and bowed. "Until tomorrow then, Miss Bennet."
"Until tomorrow, Mr. Darcy."
Darcy watched her retreating figure with unconcealed gloom in his eyes. He stood there, motionless, for several minutes. Silent. Motionless. Thinking. His eyes were trained on the spot that she had occupied a little while ago. She was gone, physically, but in his mind, he could still see her standing. Standing in front of him, smiling, smiling and grinning and laughing. It was a great deal pleasanter than the grim reality, the reality which he hesitated from remembering. She had not been smiling or grinning or laughing. No indeed. It was all foolishness. All fancy and foolishness on his part. He had an imaginative mind, indeed, and his point of view differed from hers greatly, he believed. Every moment she spent in his company without being repulsed or revolted was a small victory for him. Others might have been discouraged already, but not him, not now, not yet. His point of view was probably very foolish and he liked being a fool. Until she rebuked him and cast him away from her life forever, he would continue to hope and imagine. Imagine what could be, life with Elizabeth. It was hard, indeed, to imagine any other kind of life. It was hard to imagine a future that consisted of anything but Elizabeth. Pemberley would be empty without her. Pemberley ached for her. And it would be a shame to disappoint Pemberley. Darcy smiled slightly. I am so sickeningly desperate. But it was nothing to be ashamed of. He could not complain for it was Elizabeth who inspired such desperation. All the world might laugh at him, but Darcy believed he would triumph yet. He would win Elizabeth and prove all the skeptics wrong. She would be his to cherish and to keep. And then who would have the last laugh?
~~
Elizabeth had not told anyone of her plan, not Jane or Mrs. Gardiner, not anyone. As far as they were concerned, she was going to visit Georgie to see if she felt any better. It was her secret and it exhilarated Elizabeth somewhat. She felt as though she were a mischievous girl once again. Elizabeth had been rather surprised that Darcy had been so eager to play the joke on Anne. He must be frustrated by her interferences as well. Elizabeth admitted that she was pleasantly surprised by his willingness to fool Anne. She had always thought of him as somewhat serious and grave, but this playfulness became him very much indeed. And the idea of Anne's face when told of her 'nunnery' plans was too amusing. Elizabeth had actually thought of that for much of the previous night after Darcy left, if only to avoid thinking of Darcy and the lingering tingle in her fingertips where his hand had touched her to hand her out of the carriage. At any rate, Elizabeth really questioned herself, wondering whether she would actually consider joining a nunnery. She never intended to marry, so it would make sense. But Elizabeth discovered that she could not, it was not for her. She would feel like an imposter, it would be no easy challenge to forget about Darcy. She would have to rid her mind of his thoughts. And that was all that Elizabeth had left to support her - thoughts of Darcy. She could not deprive herself of that lifeline. It was impossible. No she could never join a nunnery, but Anne did not know that and meanwhile, and she could take advantage of that fact for now. Elizabeth closed her eyes as the carriage neared the Darcy townhouse. In her mind's eyes, she could see herself sitting in the carriage opposite Darcy. She could see his eyes looking at her curiously. Only this time, she looked back at him and smiled. Elizabeth opened her eyes and shook her head. This will never do. The carriage stopped and Elizabeth alighted. She was shown to the parlor where Anne, Georgie and Darcy were already seated.
"Elizabeth," Georgie rose to greet her.
"Georgie, I hope you are feeling better?"
"Much better, thank you. It was just a little headache."
"Anne," smiled Elizabeth. "Where is Richard?"
"Visiting some friends at his club, I think," Anne smiled. "I am glad to see you here." She glanced at Darcy. "I hope Darcy took you home alright?"
"Last night?" Elizabeth said. "Oh yes. The ride was very enlightening."
"I am glad," Anne smirked smugly.
"How do you do, Mr. Darcy?" she looked at him.
It took all of Darcy's self restraint not to laugh aloud. "Very well. And yourself?"
"I am much better, thank you," said Elizabeth. "Our conversation last night has eased my mind a lot."
"Oh?" Anne said instantly.
"Yes," Elizabeth looked at her.
"You had a conversation with Darce?"
"Yes I did," nodded Elizabeth, smiling at Darcy.
Darcy felt his heart lurch in spite of himself. It is just an act, he reminded himself in vain. "I am glad it helped you, Miss Bennet."
"It did and I thank you."
"What did you help her with, Darce?" Anne was confused.
"Some decisions," said Darcy evasively.
"What sort of decisions?"
"About my future, Anne," said Elizabeth.
"Really?" Anne raised her eyebrows. "And what did you decide?"
Elizabeth was silent for a moment. "There is no harm in telling you, I suppose, Anne. Everyone will know soon enough."
"Know what?" Anne's curiosity got the better of her.
"Anne," Elizabeth looked at her. "I am going to become a nun."
"What?!" Anne did not believe she had heard her friend right.
"I am going to become a nun, Anne," said Elizabeth solemnly. "It is the only way."
"No - Elizabeth --- what?" Anne said. "You cannot do that."
"I can and I am," said Elizabeth. "You cannot dissuade me."
"How can you --- this is so sudden."
"Actually it is not that sudden. I have been thinking of it for some time now. It is the only way I can ever be truly peaceful, Anne. It is the only way for me. And Mr. Darcy," she looked at him, "helped me in this decision by assuring me of my vested interest in such a step. It made my decision easier and it would not have happened had I not had the opportunity to speak with him last night in the carriage. So I must thank you, Anne, for letting me speak with him last night."
Darcy watched Elizabeth's performance with growing wonder. He should have ceased being astonished by anything she did anymore, but this surprised him. He had never known her capable of anything like this. She was a marvelous actress, almost chillingly so. She was so convincing, her face calm, her eyes sober, her entire visage expressionless. If he had not known that it was just a pretense, he would have almost believed her. The performance was rendered even more chilling due to its subject. It was so frightening for those words could be hers in reality. Darcy realized that one day she could actually decide that she wanted to join a nunnery. It had seemed like an outlandish idea at first, but it was not beyond the realm of possibility. She already seemed decided against matrimony, then what was to prevent her from joining a nunnery. Darcy looked at her sincere face and wondered whether he had planted the wrong idea in her head. She had just been playful when she had mentioned it, but he had latched on to the idea and practically forced her to trick Anne. So if the idea of being a nun appealed to her all of a sudden, it would be his own fault. Elizabeth glanced at him and smiled covertly at him. Darcy's heart leaped yet again and he relaxed somewhat. It was all still a pretense. She was not actually becoming a nun and she never would, if he had anything to say about it. Darcy adored this connection he had with her now; a common goal, a common objective - fool Anne. It was a tenuous connection that would vanish within a day, he knew, but he could enjoy it for now, enjoy the feeling of conspiring with Elizabeth, enjoy her covert smiles and glances. Darcy was decidedly in heaven. Perhaps Anne's being a pest would have some use after all.
"Darce, you told her to join a nunnery?" Anne said.
"Well," said Darcy. "I helped her make the decision, yes."
"Have you gone completely mad?" Anne felt like screaming.
"I was just being a good friend."
"Congratulations, Elizabeth," said Georgie. "I hope you will be happy."
"Not you too, Georgie?" said Anne. "You cannot support this?"
"There is no choice," said Georgie. "We cannot change Elizabeth's mind, so we might as well support her."
"Thank you, Georgie," smiled Elizabeth. "I feel at peace now. I shall be happy."
"Elizabeth, I don't care if you think me a bad friend," said Anne. "But I cannot allow you to do this."
"I am not asking your permission, Anne," said Elizabeth. "It has been decided already."
"Have you told your family?"
Elizabeth nodded. "Yes."
"And they did not object?"
"No, not really. They respect my decision."
"Even Jane or --- or, Mrs. Gardiner?"
"Well, they were a little concerned at first, but they understand that it is the only thing that will make me happy now."
"No, it is not!" cried Anne. "Elizabeth, you have friends and family that care for you. They - we - love you very much. This is insane. You cannot run away from your problems like this. You have to face your demons, Elizabeth. And I promise you, you will not regret it. Mark my words. A year, 2 years, 10 years from now you will not regret standing your ground, it will be worth it. I promise you, that."
Elizabeth felt guilty, just a little guilty, but not enough to stop the act. "That may very well be, but I will be happy this way, Anne. Do you not want me to be happy?"
"Of course I do, you know that I do. But --- "
"No but, Anne," said Elizabeth. "Please be my friend and support me."
"You really are bent upon doing this?"
"Yes," nodded Elizabeth.
"Then why did you not speak of it before?"
"I knew you would not approve."
"Yes, well, you were certainly right about that," Anne said wryly.
"You will still see me from time to time, I hope," said Elizabeth.
"Yes, but it will not be the same." Anne looked at Darcy. "How can you, of all people, support this, Darce? I do not understand."
"It will make her happy, Anne, do you not see that?"
"No, it will not," said Anne decidedly. "And you know it."
"No, I believe you are mistaken," said Darcy.
"She has brainwashed you," Anne said.
"Perhaps so," said Darcy. "Either way, I think she will be happy."
"And what if she isn't happy?" Anne said. "Elizabeth, what if you are not happy? This decision will not be easily reversed."
"I am not looking to reverse it."
"But what if you hate it?" said Anne.
"That is a risk I am willing to take."
"You are too stubborn," said Anne.
"You are not excited for me?"
"I wish I could say yes, but I cannot lie."
"Cannot lie?" Elizabeth raised her eyebrows. "That's new."
"Be serious, Elizabeth," said Anne. "This is serious."
"She will be fine, Anne," Georgie said.
"I hope so," Anne pouted.
Elizabeth stood up and sat down next to Anne. "Anne...there is something I need to tell you."
"It cannot be much worse than this, can it?" Anne said.
Elizabeth smiled. "Well, depends."
"What is it?"
Elizabeth glanced at Darcy and Georgie, then looked at Anne. "We fooled you."
Anne looked confused. "What?"
"She is not becoming a nun," Georgie said, laughing.
Darcy and Elizabeth joined in the laughter.
"What?" Anne nearly shouted.
"The expression...on...your face," Elizabeth managed to say between giggles.
"I told you it would work," Darcy laughed.
Anne was still shocked. "Very funny."
"It was," said Elizabeth. "Are you not entertained?"
"Indeed," said Anne wryly.
"You really believed me," said Elizabeth.
"No, I did not," said Anne with dignity. "I was just humoring you."
"That's a lie!" exclaimed Georgie.
"And you," Anne looked at Georgie. "Sweet, innocent Georgie. I shall never trust that benign image any more."
"A pity," smiled Georgie. "It always works to my advantage."
"So when did you plan this little act?" asked Anne.
"Yesterday, in the carriage," said Elizabeth.
"Really?" Anne said. "You should be ashamed. Lying does not become you."
"You are just upset because I fooled you," grinned Elizabeth.
"I told you, you were a fine liar," Darcy said.
"Again, I will take it as a compliment," said Elizabeth.
"How does it feel to be on the receiving end, Anne?" asked Darcy.
"Very well," Anne said.
"Indeed?"
"Yes," said Anne. "I shall triumph yet."
"So you admit that you were defeated this time?" said Georgie.
"I admit no such thing," said Anne. "I merely said that I will win the war."
"I did not know there was a war?" said Elizabeth.
"There is always a war to be fought."
"Of course, general."
"Mock me, if you will," said Anne. "But I will win yet."
Darcy and Elizabeth laughed. "Of course."
Anne looked at them and smiled inwardly. They thought that they had won. What a notion. True, she had been fooled, momentarily that is, but still she had not lost. Darcy and Elizabeth were in the same room with little or no tension between them. They were laughing and they had just collaborated on an elaborate scheme. It all screamed of improved relationship between the pair and Anne knew it was thanks to her. Phase One, Operation Love is complete. The war of love was far from complete, however, and Anne had faith in her skills as a general and she knew she would win the war. She would have to tell Richard of the result of the previous evening's events. The carriage had been a masterpiece in itself. She had thought of it in the last moment. It was the perfect opportunity. She knew Darce and Elizabeth could not escape each other in a small carriage and she had been right. They thought they were stubborn. Well, she would show them who was stubborn. She would persevere until they married. She cared not if it took a year or a decade. It was her little obsession. Darce and Elizabeth, just wait a while. You think it is bad now? You have seen nothing yet. And that was a promise.