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Chapter 27
Anne was silent as the carriage headed home. She watched Victor ride away and dwelled on the new piece of information Victor had unwittingly give her. Darcy had proposed to Elizabeth and had been refused. Anne's suspicions regarding Darcy's attachment were confirmed, but she had not believed that Elizabeth felt such a great abhorrence for the gentleman. If Anne's powers of observations served her well, she would have claimed that Elizabeth's feelings for Darcy were complicated and that she was confused, but ultimately it was an undeniable love. Anne still did not believe that she was wrong, but she would have to confront the source for more answers. She glanced at Elizabeth who was lost in thought and decided that a surprise attack was the best course of action.
"Elizabeth?" Anne began. Elizabeth looked at her expectantly. Anne took a deep breath and said, "Why did you not tell me that Darcy proposed to you?"
Elizabeth's eyes widened in surprise. "I...ah...how did you -- ?" She paused to think for a moment, then said with some degree of annoyance. "Victor?"
Anne nodded and said, "I am very hurt. I thought we were better friends than that, and yet, you decided to share this news with Victor and not me." This was partially the truth and Anne believed that guilt would make Elizabeth more honest at this time.
Elizabeth dropped her gaze. "I am sorry, Anne. I had no intention of hurting you. I just didn't wish to discuss it with anyone." She paused. "And Victor...well, he happened upon me at a time when I was rather distraught and I told him all before I was aware of what I was doing..."
Anne studied Elizabeth's face, trying to gauge her feelings. That she felt passionately about the subject was obvious enough, but to decipher anything beyond that would be impossible without more prodding. "Well, I suppose I understand, but if you want to make amends with me, tell me how it happened."
Elizabeth looked at Anne for a moment, not fooled for a second by her innocent smile, but decided to share that tumultuous encounter nonetheless. As painful as it was, reliving that experience might actually help her understand what she felt about a certain gentleman now. She pondered that for a moment, looked at Anne's expectant face and sighed. "I...well, it came as a huge surprise to me. Mr. Darcy told me that he loved me, that he had loved me for sometime and had only resisted the temptations to propose because of my inferior station in life." At this, Anne made a face, thinking how infinitely foolish Darcy was to begin in such a manner. Elizabeth continued, "My reaction to such a statement was similar to yours, but even if he had offered his heart more tactfully, I could not have accepted him."
Anne could not help but interrupt. "Why?"
Elizabeth said, "He is responsible for destroying the happiness of my sister Jane. Let me explain. Mr. Darcy and his friend Mr. Bingley came to live in Hertfordshire shortly before I came to Kent. Jane and Mr. Bingley fell in love and to all appearances, it seemed that it was a match made in heaven. Jane, as you shall soon see, is a wonderfully kind, sweet, generous woman and Mr. Bingley proved himself worthy of her regard with his good nature and geniality. Then, suddenly, he left Hertfordshire without any notice to Jane and did not return. Jane, though she will deny it, was heartbroken and has not fully recovered. I only learnt accidentally from your Colonel Fitzwilliam that Mr. Darcy was the principle reason for Bingley's desertion. Due to his considerable degree of influence on that gentleman, Mr. Darcy convinced him to leave because he did not approve of my sister's connections. How could I accept him with such a knowledge? We fought bitterly and I suppose civility was lacking on both sides. You can imagine my consternation, then, when I learnt of our imminent stay in his house. I did not tell you then because I did not know what I felt...I do not know still..."
As Elizabeth trailed off, Anne observed, "It seems to me that the principle case of your rejection of Darcy's suit was because of your sister Jane, but are you certain that he is guilty of that?"
Elizabeth nodded, "He did not deny it. He said that he did not believe my sister loved Bingley, but I am fairly certain that that was not the sole reason for his concern."
"You do not know that for certain, Elizabeth," Anne pointed out. "But supposing he did separate them, that alone should not decide your future. I will ask you one question and answer me honestly, if you will. Do you have any regard for Darce?"
Elizabeth sighed and looked away from Anne's piercing eyes. "Anne, I..."
"The truth, please," Anne insisted.
"I do not know," said Elizabeth with another sigh.
"Yes you do," said Anne.
"No, I do not," Elizabeth replied. "If I did, perhaps I would not be this confused."
"I cannot imagine that you would be unaware of your own heart, Elizabeth. I have witnessed you and Darce together and I have no doubt that you have feelings for him, the depth of which I leave it for you to determine. It is a simple matter, as I see it. Would you like to hear it?"
"Yes, of course," Elizabeth repressed a smile.
"From what I gather about your previous marriage, it was not a very happy one, am I right?" Elizabeth nodded, and Anne continued, "You have lost your trust in love and will not allow your heart to be engaged again for fear of pain. It is understandable, but not acceptable. You cannot deny yourself happiness because of mistakes you made in the past. If you love my cousin, or indeed, if you have any feelings for him, you must let yourself love him. He is not as horrid of a man as you imagine. In fact, he is one of the most kind, generous and gallant men I know...well, after Richard, of course." Anne stopped and smiled. "Tell me, did you ever think of him when you were apart for all those months before he came to Kent?"
Elizabeth colored slightly and said, "I suppose I did..."
Anne smiled triumphantly. "I rest my case. There is no better symptom of a hopeless case of love than countless hours of pondering on its object; believe me for I have great experience in that matter. I am not asking you to marry Darce tomorrow. Lord knows this uncertainty is good for his vanity." Elizabeth smiled slightly at this statement. "All I am asking of you is that you do not deny him the opportunity of winning your favor..."
Elizabeth looked at Anne for a moment. "Why are you so interested in this?"
"Because otherwise I might have to call Caroline Bingley cousin!" exclaimed Anne. "Can you imagine Pemberley decorated exclusively in orange?" Anne laughed and shuddered simultaneously. "The truth is, I want to help Darce because it is so painfully obvious that he worships you unconditionally. I have never seen him in love and his recent despair forms a very grotesque picture. He loves you, Elizabeth and I think that you love him too and I would hate for you both to deny yourselves a chance for real happiness. Love is the most wonderful thing in the world. It makes you giddy with happiness. It is a fresh perspective on the world and those who are so fortunate as to love just want to see others as happy as themselves. You helped me find my love and I just want to help you find yours."
Elizabeth squeezed Anne's hand. "Thank you, Anne. I will think about what you said. I cannot promise anything yet, but rest assured, I shall give it some considerable thought." She paused. "Do you want to know how Mr. Darcy and I first met?"
"Yes, indeed," said Anne with anticipation.
"Well, I was coming home to Hertfordshire all alone, and my carriage was attacked by highwaymen and just as my situation became desperate, Mr. Darcy arrived and rescued me."
"Oh my!" exclaimed Anne. "How romantic!"
"I knew you would enjoy it," smiled Elizabeth. "I did not even know his name when he left me at an inn in Hertfordshire and I doubted that I would ever see him again. The next day I attended a ball and who should be there but Mr. Darcy himself..."
"Better and better," said Anne. "This certainly has great promise, but only time shall tell how the story will end."
"You make it sound as if it is a great mystery," Elizabeth laughed.
"But it is," said Anne. "It has all the necessary elements; romance, drama, intrigue..."
"Intrigue?" Elizabeth repeated.
"Yes...Victor," said Anne matter-of-factly. "You must admit that he is not entirely straightforward with us. For example, how did he happen to come to town so soon after we did? One would almost think that he was following us..."
"Following me, you mean," sighed Elizabeth.
"You do not sound delighted at that," Anne said, unable to keep that happy tone from her voice at such a possibility.
"Victor is nice," began Elizabeth.
"But...?" Anne pressed.
"But I do not do him justice. He has made no secret of the fact that he has feelings for me, feelings that I fear I can never return. It is grossly unfair to him, but I have not the heart to tell him."
"I do!" smirked Anne.
"Anne, be serious!" Elizabeth admonished. "I enjoy his company immensely, but I have long determined that I could never fall in love with him."
"Bye and bye, that is excellent news," Anne said.
"You are heartless Anne, think of poor Victor."
"No need to worry about Victor. I dare say he will recover remarkably well," Anne said with conviction.
"I hope so," said Elizabeth dubiously.
"I am glad we had this conversation," declared Anne. "I feel much better."
"As do I," admitted Elizabeth. "I needed to talk with someone."
"I am always at your service if you need me," said Anne.
"I know, thank you," Elizabeth smiled.
The carriage stopped at this time, signaling its arrival at Gracechurch street where Elizabeth's Aunt and Uncle Gardiner resided. Elizabeth grinned at Anne, then alighted from the carriage followed by Anne. The ladies gave necessary instructions to the coachman before proceeding towards the house. The housekeeper recognized Elizabeth immediately and ushered her in, then hastily leaving in search of her mistress. Anne and Elizabeth seated themselves and moments later, Jane and Mrs. Gardiner appeared.
"Lizzy!" exclaimed Jane and rushed to hug her sister. Elizabeth rose and embraced Jane tenderly. "When did you arrive in town?"
"Just yesterday," replied Elizabeth, grinning. Aware of Anne sitting nearby, she said, "I would like to introduce my friend, Miss Anne de Bourgh. Anne, this my sister Jane and my aunt Gardiner."
Jane smiled and said, "How do you do, Miss de Bourgh?"
Anne inclined her head and said, "Very well, thank you, and please, call me Anne."
Jane glanced at Elizabeth in surprise, then said, "Well, then, you must call me Jane."
"Gladly," grinned Anne. "And Mrs. Gardiner, you have a lovely home here."
"Why, thank you, my dear." Mrs. Gardiner was delighted. "I'll call for some tea. Pray excuse me."
While Mrs. Gardiner left, Elizabeth turned to Jane. "You look well, Jane. I am pleased."
Jane looked at her sister. "I am doing much better, but I missed you terribly."
"I suppose that is mostly my fault," said Anne sheepishly. "Elizabeth has become so invaluable to my existence that I can scarcely imagine life without her."
Jane laughed, "She has that effect on people."
Elizabeth colored, and changed the subject. "So, how much longer do you plan to stay here? Mother must be frantic to see you."
Jane sighed. "A week or two more, perhaps." For the first time, a hint of sadness crept in Jane's voice and Elizabeth immediately saw that she was in despair, her sole purpose in coming to town having been foiled. She had not seen Bingley as of yet and Elizabeth cursed under her breath. She exchanged glances with Anne, who seemed to grasp the gravity of the situation. Jane shook away that sadness, however, and said in a more cheerful tone, "So, where are you residing, Lizzy?"
"In Mr. Darcy's townhouse," said Elizabeth softly.
Jane's eyes widened. "Really?" She could not help but smile slightly.
"Jane!" cried Elizabeth. "Not you too."
Anne laughed. "She is just upset because I have been berating her on this subject for some time now," she explained. "Darce, er...Mr. Darcy, is my cousin, you see. He was living with us in Rosings for the past few days. It was very, um...interesting, to say the least."
"Anne!" said Elizabeth with a warning tone and was saved by the arrival of Mrs. Gardiner.
"It is lovely to see you again, Lizzy," began Mrs. Gardiner. "Your uncle would be delighted as well, but he is away on business. You must come to dine with us tomorrow and bring Miss Anne, of course."
Elizabeth exchanged glances with her friend before accepting the invitation gladly. "Thank you, aunt. I would love to spend more time with you, uncle and Jane."
"Of course you would," said Mrs. Gardiner. "You girls have been apart more or less since..." She realized where she was headed and stopped mid-sentence. "Um..."
Elizabeth paled, but managed to say. "Since I got married. I know. It is all right, please. I can bear to hear it, believe it or not."
"Oh Lizzy," said Jane with a pained look in her eyes, realizing her troubles were nothing when compared to her sister's. "How are you doing?"
"Remarkably well, actually," said Elizabeth, her voice steady. "The past shall remain in the past, I am determined, and shall not intrude on my present anymore."
"That's very wise, Lizzy," commended Mrs. Gardiner.
Anne said, "I take credit for part of that philosophy."
Jane smiled, "Thank you then."
"Much better," remarked Anne with a mock look of satisfaction.
At that moment, the housekeeper interrupted them with the announcement of the arrival of two gentlemen. "Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley, ma'am."
Chapter 28
That announcement delivered with so much calm astonished most of the occupants of the room and a tense silence followed it. The levels of mental turmoil varied with each lady, but a sense of confusion, incomprehension and in some cases, disbelief prevailed. Among those assembled, it was Mrs. Gardiner who regained her faculties with swiftness and recovering her manners after a few moments of surprise at the unexpected guests, said to the housekeeper. "Please show them in."
There was a dead silence in the room as the housekeeper curtsied and exited. Mrs. Gardiner quickly comprehended the gravity of the situation and satisfied herself with remaining an objective observer. Anne felt a sense of elation and glee at the marvelous turn of events and had no scruples in displaying her emotions with a silly grin plastered on her face. Jane had not yet recovered from the shock of the unexpected visitors and tried in vain to compose herself. Even as she looked at her sister and aunt, she could not hide her confusion and uncertainty as to the most appropriate behavior. As for Elizabeth, she was stricken by a thousand different emotions and sensations. The floodgates of disbelief and shock had been opened and she could barely collect her wits and compose herself before the visitors appeared.
At length, after what seemed like an eternity, but what was actually a matter of a minute, the two gentlemen were ushered into the parlor. When Darcy perceived, however, the occupants of the parlor, he stopped, rendered motionless for a moment. His eyes instantly flew to Elizabeth, but he tore them away from her and addressed the lady of the house.
"I apologize for taking the liberty of calling on you without a formal introduction, ma'am..." He stopped a little awkwardly, realizing he did not even know the lady's name.
Elizabeth noticed his discomfiture and immediately came to his rescue. "Aunt, this is Mr. Darcy and that is his friend, Mr. Bingley. This is my aunt Mrs. Gardiner." She paused, then added, "Mr. Bingley, I do not suppose you are acquainted with my friend, Miss Anne de Bourgh."
After the usual exchange of pleasantries, the gentlemen were seated. The uncomfortable silence that followed was broken by Anne. "How did you happen to come by here Darce? I did not know you were much acquainted with this part of town." Anne's seemingly innocent query was meant to extract an honest answer from Darcy as to his real motive in visiting Elizabeth's aunt, but a direct reply to that question was unlikely.
Darcy frowned slightly at Anne and said, "I learnt of this residence from Miss Bingley." He stole a look at Elizabeth before adding. "Charles expressed a desire to visit Miss Bennet and so we took the liberty of coming here."
"I am glad you did, Mr. Darcy," said Mrs. Gardiner with a smile. "It is a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance and Mr. Bingley's."
"The pleasure is all mine, I assure you," Darcy replied gallantly.
Mr. Bingley, in the meantime, stationed himself next to Jane as he was liable to do and began a pleasant, easy conversation with her, occasionally directing remarks to other people. His pleasure at this renewed acquaintance with the lady was obvious enough; it was the lady's reaction that was not as transparent. While Jane seemed genuinely pleased at the gentleman's presence, she also appeared a trifle confused at his sudden desire to visit her after she had spent so many weeks in town waiting for him to come. Jane did not know what to make of it, but she supposed there must be a reasonable explanation for it all. Soon, the couple became entirely unaware of anyone else, much to the approval of all assembled.
"I understand your estate is in Derbyshire, Mr. Darcy?" began Mrs. Gardiner.
Mr. Darcy nodded. "Yes, indeed it is. Are you familiar with that part of the country?"
"Am I?!" exclaimed Mrs. Gardiner. "I spent the best years of my youth in a dear, little town called Lambton. Have you ever heard of it?"
Darcy smiled for the first time. "It is but 5 miles from Pemberley, my home." He paused and then added, "I used to run all the way to Lambton to play. I especially remember this one tree..."
"The old chestnut, by the smythe," Mrs. Gardiner interjected with enthusiasm.
"The very one," nodded Darcy with a grin.
With every subsequent word, Elizabeth became more and more confused. She found it hard to reconcile herself with the mere fact that Darcy was present in the room at that very moment let alone his extraordinarily pleasant demeanor and easy conversation. Not only had he brought with him Bingley, but he was actively engaging in conversation the same relatives who he had scorned not too long ago. Elizabeth could not understand it; she was puzzled by it and his every word, every gesture, every smile, every frown fascinated her. Such a transformation was rarely witnessed, or perhaps, there was no real transformation and she had just failed to see the real man before this time. Elizabeth found that hard to imagine, but it was not the first time she had been blind to the obvious, she reminded herself.
As Darcy and Mrs. Gardiner conversed, Elizabeth glanced briefly at Anne, who winked at her slyly. Elizabeth gently shook her head in exasperation and attempted to discern what Darcy's appearance meant to her. Bingley's presence was testament enough to Darcy's attempt to correct the errors he had wittingly or unwittingly committed. Elizabeth could not imagine that her words delivered in anger would cause him to reconsider his position on the match; indeed, she had not believed that her words had any impact on him at all. Did his coming here signify his continued regard for herself? Elizabeth pondered that question for sometime, but could reach no satisfactory conclusion. Indeed, how could he love her still after all the hurtful words she had said? She did not deem such constancy was possible. Darcy probably paid heed to her arguments regarding Jane and Bingley, and only wished to right the wrong. Elizabeth knew that if she inferred any more from his actions, she would risk the pain of disappointment. What she conveniently did not ask herself was what exactly would disappoint her?
Mrs. Gardiner beamed. "It is wonderful to meet someone from the same part of the country as I."
Darcy nodded in agreement. "It is quite beautiful there." He paused. "If you ever find yourself in the vicinity, Mrs. Gardiner, I insist that you come and stay at Pemberley. Is your husband fond of fishing?"
"Yes, indeed. Edward loves fishing," replied Mrs. Gardiner with a laugh.
"It is settled, then," said Darcy. "I shall hold you to the promise."
Mrs. Gardiner smiled. "That is very generous of you, Mr. Darcy."
Elizabeth could hardly believe her ears. Was this really him? Was this really the Darcy she knew? It was hard for her to reconcile herself to his words. He had just invited her aunt and uncle to stay at Pemberley. Was this really the proud man she thought she knew. It was apparent she knew nothing about him, the real him. As Elizabeth listened she could not help but ask herself if this was prompted in part to please her. Could it be that he was doing it for her? Elizabeth knew not if she dared to believe that tantalizing possibility.
Some refreshments and tea were brought in and there was a general pause in the conversation as the guests helped themselves. Anne took this opportunity of prodding Darcy further and addressed him, "I don't suppose you had expected to see us here this afternoon?"
Darcy admitted he had not with a surreptitious glance at Elizabeth.
Anne continued, "Well, we had just arrived before you came. I convinced Elizabeth to go to the seamstress with me."
"And forced me to buy a gown," Elizabeth added with an affectionate smile.
"With a little help from Victor, I must admit," said Anne, watching Darcy closely for his reaction to the mention of Victor's name.
Darcy turned pale. "Victor?" he repeated slowly. "He is in town?"
"Oh, yes, he had a sudden impulse to visit town, it seems," shrugged Anne.
"This is Lord Victor Sheffield we speak of," Elizabeth explained to Mrs. Gardiner and Jane.
Jane nodded, "I believe you mentioned him in one of your letters."
That pronouncement seemed to disturb Darcy further and he said, "I did not know he had any plans to come to town."
"His plans were made soon after ours and I suppose he would like us to believe that there is no connection between those two events," said Anne.
"As unlikely as that might be," commented Elizabeth with a faint smile.
"Yes, very unlikely," Darcy murmured.
Mrs. Gardiner said at this point, "Mr. Darcy, Mr. Bingley, I would like to extend an invitation to dine with us tomorrow. Miss Anne and Elizabeth have already accepted that invitation."
Darcy looked at Bingley for confirmation and said, "Thank you, Mrs. Gardiner. We have no prior commitments. We shall be delighted to attend."
The visitors stayed for over an hour and all too soon, it was time to depart. Bingley and Darcy bid farewell to the ladies and took their leave with promises of returning the next day for dinner. As they left, Anne and Elizabeth determined it was time for them to depart as well. Elizabeth hugged her aunt and sister.
"So Jane...," she said as they disengaged from the embrace. "Mr. Bingley is back."
Jane blushed charmingly and said, "It is nothing, Lizzy. Mr. Bingley and I are just friends."
Anne laughed. "I am beginning to think this denial of what is apparent is a common theme in the Bennet family. First Elizabeth and now you, Jane."
Elizabeth colored slightly and said, "I cannot imagine what you mean, Anne."
"I am certain you can," Anne retorted.
"Seriously," said Jane. "Do not think I am in any danger now."
"I think," responded Elizabeth. "that you are in as great a danger as ever of making him fall madly in love with you." She smiled and added. "Thank goodness mama isn't here to witness it."
"I must meet Mrs. Bennet," said Anne. "I have heard so much about her."
"Some things are best delayed," said Elizabeth with a roll of her eyes. "Well, thank you, aunt. Take care, Jane."
Mrs. Gardiner smiled, "It was lovely making your acquaintance, Miss Anne."
"Likewise, Mrs. Gardiner." Anne replied with a gracious smile. "Until tomorrow, then."
Elizabeth bid farewell to her aunt and sister and followed Anne to the carriage. Jane and Mrs. Gardiner came outside to watch them depart. Elizabeth waved as the carriage rapidly disappeared into the crowded street. Once the house was no longer visible, Elizabeth sighed and glanced at Anne, "Well, that was extremely interesting."
"I certainly agree," nodded Anne. "I really like your sister and aunt."
"Thank you," Elizabeth beamed with pleasure. "What did you think of Mr. Bingley?"
"He seems like a very amiable man," Anne said. "I cannot imagine that he would willingly try and hurt your sister. They make such an elegant, perfect couple."
Elizabeth sighed heavily. "Yes, I know. I never accused Mr. Bingley of willful wrongdoing. His only fault is that he is too easily persuaded by the will of his friend."
Anne looked sharply at Elizabeth. "It is a good thing, too, for I am certain Darce persuaded him to visit Jane today."
"Yes, perhaps," Elizabeth said.
"Perhaps?" Anne repeated. "Why the hesitation, the doubt in your voice? You cannot possibly believe that Bingley all of a sudden decided to visit Jane and brought Darce along with him? It must be all Darce's doing."
Elizabeth looked at Anne. "I suppose you are right."
"Of course I am," replied Anne.
"Miss Bingley knew where Jane was residing," said Elizabeth thoughtfully. "She even visited her once and told Jane that Bingley knew she was in town, but was much too occupied to see her. I doubt that she was speaking the truth. Mr. Bingley must have been in the dark all along."
"Until Darce told him..." Anne added.
"I suppose," said Elizabeth. "But Mr. Darcy must have known all along as well. He could have spared Jane months of anguish..."
Anne was quick to respond. "I do not contend that what Darce did was right, by any means, but he is trying to do the right thing now. Does that not matter?"
"Of course it does, but..."
Anne interrupted her. "Everyone makes mistakes, Elizabeth. No one is perfect. Darce's greatest weakness is that he believes his judgement can never be faulty and he will go to great lengths if he believes he is protecting a friend. He was wrong, in this instance, but you cannot punish him for that one mistake forever. Would that be fair?"
Elizabeth sighed, "No, I suppose not."
Anne nodded. "Of course it would not." She paused, then added. "Do you remember the conversation we had earlier?"
Elizabeth smiled a little. "How could I not?"
Anne smiled as well. "Do you remember what you said then? You said that you could not possibly accept a man who destroyed your sister's happiness. But what now? Darce is attempting to undo his errors. So would you accept him now?"
Elizabeth looked at Anne and said, "That is an unlikely situation. Mr. Darcy cannot love me, not after my words to him."
"Love is not that fickle, Elizabeth," Anne commented. "And besides, what do you suppose Darce was doing today? Why do you think he did what he did?"
"I do not know," Elizabeth said helplessly. "Perhaps he realized his error."
"Yes, I am certain he did," said Anne. "But he also loves you and wanted to please you. you must see that."
"I think you are mistaken, Anne," said Elizabeth.
"But I am never wrong!" exclaimed Anne.
"Well, you are, in this case," said Elizabeth with finality in her voice.
Anne wisely did not pursue the subject any longer. The rest of the way was traversed in relative silence. Anne contented herself with observing the streets they passed. Elizabeth, on the other hand, was so deeply engrossed in her own thoughts that even as she looked out of the window, she hardly saw what passed before her eyes. Elizabeth was in a wretched state of confusion regarding her own heart. She could not believe what Anne said of Darcy's love, but that did not concern her as much as what her own heart so slyly hinted. Elizabeth knew that she did not hate Darcy, but what frightened her was the startling realization that she had never truly hated him. She had been terribly frustrated and angry with him, but even when she had refused him so bitterly, she had not hated him.
Since the beginning of their tumultuous acquaintance, there had been an irresistible attraction between them, an attraction that Elizabeth could not explain and certainly not deny. Elizabeth recalled with a slight blush the dream she had had about Darcy soon after meeting him. Even at that early time, she had been fascinated by him and she knew him to kind because he had saved her from the highwaymen and not disclosed her true identity on more than one occasion. He had always behaved like a gentleman towards her and yet, she had treated him so abominably. Elizabeth was acutely ashamed of her behavior. She supposed a part of her behavior could be attributed to the unpredictability of his. He appeared so wonderfully kind and gentle at some times, and so aloof and cold at others that she could hardly understand it. And then he had disappeared without so much as a farewell. She had been hurt, she could not deny. Perhaps that bruise to her vanity had caused her to be so harsh on him. It was frightening to realize how little she knew of her own heart. Elizabeth sighed audibly as the carriage neared the Darcy townhouse. Now she would have to see him again.
Anne and Elizabeth alighted from the carriage and walked towards the house. On their arrival, they were told by the housekeeper that the master would not be dining at home tonight. Elizabeth could barely hide her disappointment. She glanced at Anne who seemed to have noticed. Anne instructed to serve dinner in an hour and looked at Elizabeth for confirmation, but Elizabeth seemed lost in her own ruminations.
Anne asked, "Is something the matter?"
"No," Elizabeth murmured. "If you'll excuse me." She said and went up to her room.
Anne watched her depart and sighed. "Poor Elizabeth. Poor Darce."
There was very little conversation at dinner. Anne saw that Elizabeth was lost in thought and did not disturb her. She could conjecture what the subject of her thoughts were, but she did not tease Elizabeth any further. Anne knew that her persistence had succeeded and she had forced Elizabeth to face her own feelings. She wondered where Darce could be. Was he avoiding dinner on purpose? Perhaps he was too afraid to see Elizabeth again, fearful of her reaction. It was highly plausible and Anne decided that it was probably a smart move on Darce's part because this gave Elizabeth the time to acquaint herself with her own feelings. The more Anne pondered it, the more she became convinced of its merit. At the conclusion of the meal, Anne was in very good spirits indeed.
"I am very tired," said Elizabeth. "I think I shall retire."
"Good night, Elizabeth."
"Good night, Anne."
~~
Elizabeth could not sleep. She knew it was very late, but her bed provided her with little comfort and she decided to visit Darcy's excellent library so as to amuse herself till she became more inclined towards sleep. She got up and slowly went down to the library. She tiptoed quietly, not wishing to awaken Anne. She opened the door and as she entered the library, she realized that she was not alone.
"Mr. Darcy," she said in surprise.
"Miss Bennet," Darcy's surprise was no less evident. He closed his book. "Sleep eludes you as well, I see?"
"Yes," nodded Elizabeth. "I thought I would amuse myself with a book. But I do not wish to disturb you, perhaps I shall leave."
Elizabeth began to hastily leave, when Darcy said, "No, please, Miss Bennet, stay."
There was almost a pleading quality in his voice that Elizabeth could not ignore. She looked at him and he looked back earnestly. Elizabeth could not refuse and slowly walked to the chair opposite him. There was an awkward silence. Darcy stared at her with a steadfast gaze, a piercing gaze that made Elizabeth blush slightly and look away, focussing her attention at the book on his lap, Much Ado about Nothing.
"You are fond of Shakespeare, Mr. Darcy?" asked Elizabeth.
"Yes, indeed," said Darcy. "One of the greatest ."
"I quite agree," said Elizabeth. She paused. "I was surprised to see you this afternoon."
Darcy looked at her keenly. "Perhaps I should not have come..."
"No, no, that is not what I meant," Elizabeth said hurriedly. "That is to say, I...ah...well, I had not expected to see either you or Mr. Bingley."
Darcy's dark eyes were fixed on her as he spoke, "When I saw Bingley this morning, I had no idea what I would say to him. I did not say much to him at first. I had not decided how much he should be told..."
"And?"
"I told him everything; that Miss Bennet had been in town, and that I and Miss Bingley had conspired to conceal it from him. I admitted that I was wrong in doing so and that I had no right to divine his or Miss Bennet's true feelings. He was angry with me at first, but he forgave me for my honesty. And then, of course, he wanted to see Miss Bennet. I knew where she was living and so we went."
Elizabeth did not know how to respond. "Mr. Bingley had been in the dark, then?"
"Yes," Darcy seemed reluctant to admit it. "Regrettably so."
"Do you still think my sister does not love him?" Elizabeth asked boldly.
Darcy colored slightly. "No..."
"Is that a result of the information I gave you?" Elizabeth asked.
"No, that was from my own observation," Darcy said. "Today I watched your sister closely and though she was guarded, I could see that she was genuinely happy to see Bingley. I was wrong, I admit as much."
Darcy gazed at her with a plead for forgiveness in his eyes. Elizabeth found herself drawn to his eyes inexplicably and felt herself lost in their depth. She was slowly losing her own self-control and feared that her feelings would be transparent. It was time to leave.
"I...ah...must leave," she said, a little discomfited. "Good night, Mr. Darcy."
"Good night, Miss Bennet."
Elizabeth hastily began to leave the library. When she was at the door, she looked back and said, "Mr. Darcy?"
"Yes?" he said expectantly.
She looked into his eyes and said, "Thank you." And then she left.
~~
Victor swore under his breath at the foul smell that pervaded the air. A little beggar walked beside him and taking pity, he handed him some coins. Victor studied his environs with growing distaste. The dark, dingy street was overflowing with undesirable elements; beggars, drunkards and thieves and Victor despised them all. Most of all, he despised Margaret for subjecting him to such filth. Victor tried to ignore the smell and after a few moments, arrived at his destination and knocked forcefully. Margaret opened the door and smiled as she saw who her visitor was.
"Victor, darling," said Margaret. "I am so happy to see you. Did you bring my money?"
Victor walked in and handed her a bag. "This is the last time, Margaret."
"Or else?" Margaret said. "Will you kill me as you killed my sister?"
Victor's fury rose at this pronouncement. "You know that is not true. I did not kill her."
Margaret scoffed. "You abandoned her. She loved you and you abandoned her."
Victor did not seemed affected. "You never cared about her and you know it. You wanted the money and now you have it. Now please leave me alone or I might have to take some action."
"Are you threatening me?" Margaret said.
"Perhaps," said Victor.
"I am not afraid of you," she declared.
"That might be unwise," Victor warned.
Margaret laughed. "Please go before someone sees you here. You would not wish for your father to find out?"
Victor looked at her with hatred in his eyes and departed. As he left, a man emerged from the other room. He is the one I saw with her today. "Who was that, Margaret?"
Margaret looked at the man and smiled. "Are you jealous, George?"
"Just answer me."
"Lord Victor Sheffield."
The man seemed satisfied and smiled oddly. Wonderful, just wonderful.
Chapter 29
The following morning Elizabeth awoke with a strange feeling of contentment that she could hardly explain. Her conversation with Darcy had been oddly pleasant and the information he had imparted had only added to her good humor. In spite of Anne's firm belief that Darcy was responsible for Bingley's sudden impulse to call upon Jane, Elizabeth had had her reservations, that is until Darcy himself had informed her of his role in Bingley's actions. She had never denied the great influence Darcy exerted on the gentleman, and this was yet another instance of it, but Elizabeth could not reconcile herself with Darcy's actions. Why had he suddenly altered his opinion regarding the match when he had opposed it so violently before? A part of Elizabeth screamed that the answer was obvious enough, but she could not bring herself to believe it. Elizabeth was not certain why that possibility scared her so much, and yet it did. She sighed as she prepared herself for breakfast. Every consecutive day was a battle and she knew not if she had the energy to face another one.
When Elizabeth arrived at the breakfast parlor, she found that Darcy and Anne were already present. She greeted them both politely and attempted, in vain, not to look flustered. She felt obliged to acknowledge the midnight encounter with Darcy, but was simply too embarrassed.
"I hope you slept well, Elizabeth?" asked Anne.
Elizabeth looked at her friend, wondering how much she knew. "Quite well, thank you."
"I thought I heard you go downstairs at one time?" asked Anne innocently, glancing at Darcy, who nearly choked on his muffin.
"Um...yes, well...I just wanted to find a book..." Elizabeth knew that this response would not satisfy Anne's curiosity.
"At such a late hour?" Anne raised her eyebrows. "You are quite the avid reader, then."
"Yes, quite," Elizabeth said.
Anne smiled, "So, how did you find Darce's library?"
"Excellent," said Elizabeth. She stole a look at Darcy and hurriedly added, "I mean...it is an excellent library."
"I am glad you found it so," Darcy spoke for the first time, a small smirk playing on his lips.
Elizabeth wondered what he found so amusing. "I only state the obvious."
"Well, sometimes, the obvious is not quite as obvious as one assumes," Anne commented slyly, rewarded by the blush on Elizabeth's cheeks.
Elizabeth glared at Anne and attempted to steer the conversation in another direction. "So, how do you fare without the Colonel?"
Anne's demeanor altered instantly, the smile vanishing from her lips. "I miss him terribly and it has only been a few days. How am I to survive another month without him? It is abominable."
Elizabeth had not meant to upset her friend and attempted to assail her fears. "I am certain the month will pass with ample swiftness and you will be reunited with the colonel ere long."
"I trust you and Darce will keep me amused until then," said Anne with a smile.
Darcy colored slightly and said, "Perhaps not to your satisfaction."
"Oh, I shall be satisfied, Darce, do not worry." There was a certainty in Anne's voice.
"I am glad you can amuse yourself with my misfortunes, Anne," Elizabeth said with mock-seriousness.
Anne inclined her head. "Do not think me heartless, Elizabeth; I commiserate with you, but can you reproach me for finding humor in every situation?"
"I suppose not," Elizabeth said, her eyes twinkling. "Tell me, do you save this humor exclusively for my misfortunes? I do not recall your laughter when you were briefly engaged to Victor?"
It was Anne's turn to blush. "I was not engaged to Victor."
Elizabeth laughed. "See, Mr. Darcy, she cannot bear my teasing and yet she makes sport of abusing us continually."
Darcy smiled. The sound of her laughter was pleasing to her ears and her easy manner extremely gratifying. "That is an old habit of Anne's."
"Pray, what shall be her punishment, then?" Elizabeth asked.
Darcy looked at Anne and said, "We shall tease her endlessly."
"Two against one. That is hardly fair!" Anne protested.
Elizabeth shrugged. "That is not my problem, I dare say."
Anne glared at Elizabeth and Darcy, but was immensely pleased to behold the interaction between her cousin and friend. She had enough sense to comprehend that something had changed since the previous day, but she was at a loss to understand how that had occurred. She had a vague suspicion that it was somehow connected to Elizabeth's late visit to the library, but she could not be certain. At any rate, there seemed to be relatively little uneasiness between them and she herself had witnessed several stolen looks and silent communications. She congratulated herself on the success of her persuasive powers in forcing Elizabeth to dwell upon her relationship with Darcy. Anne only wished that she could make them aware of what was painfully apparent to her: that they were hopelessly in love and that there was no use denying it or ignoring it. All in good time.
Elizabeth broke the silence. "I wonder if I should invite Victor to Aunt Gardiner's dinner tonight."
Anne was quick to reply. "Certainly, there is no occasion for that, right Darce?"
Darcy seemed uncomfortable. "I do not believe it is my place to comment."
Elizabeth sighed. "It is just that I...well...I feel obliged in a way."
"I do not see why," said Anne. "Victor came to town on his own accord. We certainly did not wish him here nor did we force him to come."
Before Elizabeth had a chance to reply, the housekeeper announced, "Lord Victor Sheffield."
"Speak of the devil," Darcy muttered under his breath, but loud enough for Anne to hear.
Moments later, Victor appeared and smiled jovially. "Good morning."
"Victor, is there not anyone else you can accost at this early hour?" Anne said.
Victor appeared hurt. "On the contrary, dear Anne, there are several acquaintances of mine who would be delighted to see me."
"Then, I urge you to go and delight them," Anne smirked.
Elizabeth felt that Anne was being unusually rude and said, "Have you had breakfast, Victor?"
Victor smiled at Elizabeth thankfully. "Yes, thank you." He sat down nonetheless. "I am here to invite all of you to dinner at my townhouse tonight. Please consider it before you refuse, Anne."
Anne looked at him, as Elizabeth replied. "I am sorry, Victor, but we are already engaged elsewhere." She bit her lips for a second, uncertain of what to say next. She glanced at Anne who seemed put out. Darcy was studying his plate steadfastly, refusing to meet her anxious gaze. Elizabeth sighed and added, "We are having dinner at my aunt Gardiner's. Would you like to accompany us?"
Victor's eyes shone with pleasure. "I thank you, but would it be appropriate as I have no prior acquaintance with your excellent aunt?"
Elizabeth assured him that it did not matter and that her aunt would be delighted to see him. "You do not know where she lives. Perhaps you can come here and follow our carriage to her home."
Victor nodded. "An excellent suggestion."
"Wonderful," murmured Anne.
"I hope I will not ruin your evening, Anne?" Victor said.
"Too late for that," said Anne in a low voice.
Victor laughed, "I am sorry, then."
"I doubt that," said Anne with a grimace.
"As a matter of fact, I am really sorry that we could not be better friends," said Victor with genuine warmth. "I am not certain what caused such bitterness between us, but rest assured, I am heartily sorry for that."
Anne looked at him, partially ashamed for her behavior. But she could not bring herself to apologize. "I...um...yes." For once she was at a loss for words.
"I fear the damage is irreparable, then?" Victor said.
"Perhaps," Anne said softly.
"Then I am truly sorry." There was a note of sincerity in his voice that could not help but convince. He gazed at Anne earnestly for a few moments. He, then, glanced briefly at Elizabeth and said, "I actually have some engagements that I must attend to. I shall see you this evening." He stood up, bowed and said, "Good day."
As he departed, there was a tense silence for a moment. "Well..." Anne said, a little discomfited.
"That was not called for, Anne," Elizabeth reproached her friend. "I understand that you dislike him, but there was no occasion for being so rude to him. He even apologized for his past mistakes, whatever they might have been."
Anne defended herself. "That might be another ploy to win my trust. How do I know he was sincere?"
"You do not," said Elizabeth. "But sometimes you must have trust in the finer human sensibilities."
Anne hung her head. "Perhaps I was a little harsh."
"Just a little." Elizabeth smiled for the first time.
"I am sorry," Anne sighed.
"You should have said that to him," Elizabeth commented.
"I suppose I should have," Anne agreed.
"Another time," Elizabeth said. She got up. "I must write some letters." With that and a brief smile, she hurriedly left the parlor.
Darcy watched her departure with a wistful look in his eyes. Anne studied his face for a few moments, then said, "You were rather silent, Darce."
"There was not much to say," Darcy replied.
"I do not believe that," said Anne. "I think there is a lot that you want to say to Elizabeth, but are too afraid to say. What are you so afraid of?"
Darcy looked at Anne and said, "I am not afraid..."
"I beg to disagree," said Anne. "I see the fear in your eyes. If you let fear dominate your heart, she will never know how you feel."
"If you only knew, Anne...," Darcy was undoubtedly referring to the rejection.
"But I do know," said Anne.
Darcy seemed surprised. "How...?"
"Never mind how," said Anne. "The fact of the matter is that there is still hope. You must not lose that hope. Elizabeth does not hate you. She said so herself."
"She said that?" Darcy's voice shook slightly. "Please do not trifle with me."
"Believe me, I would not lie to you about this," said Anne.
"But what of Victor?" Darcy was still not convinced.
"He does not matter; he never did," Anne assured him. "Trust me, Darce."
Darcy did not seem to hear her. She does not love him? She does not love me either, but at least she does not hate me...can there still be hope? "I...um...thank you, Anne."
Anne beamed. "Thank me later when perhaps you have good news for me."
Darcy's eyes shone at this, but he said. "I hope you are not counting on that."
"Oh, but I am," smiled Anne. "I have faith, Darce, in you, in Elizabeth and in love. You shall see."
"We shall see," Darcy agreed.
~~
Elizabeth dressed with more than usual care. She wore the new gown that Anne had insisted on buying for her. It was a beautiful muslin gown of maroon, a color so dark that it contrasted remarkably with her pale skin. Her hair was arranged with a few red and white flowers adorning her luxurious curls. Elizabeth studied herself in the looking glass and colored at the thoughts that assailed her. She could not deny that she hoped that she would please a certain gentleman. Why did it matter so much to her? Elizabeth frowned slightly and shook her head. She was being silly, of course. It did not matter in the least. Did it?
Elizabeth knocked on Anne's door. As she entered, Anne turned to see her and gasped, "Oh, Elizabeth, you look lovely. That color becomes you so."
Elizabeth colored. "Thank you."
"As you should," Anne laughed. "I persuaded you to buy it, remember?"
"Yes, of course," smiled Elizabeth. "You are rather persuasive."
"I know," Anne said with pride. "It is a useful trait, that."
"I am sure it is," Elizabeth replied with a grin.
"We should not keep the gentlemen waiting too long," said Anne. "Victor arrived some time ago."
"Oh." Elizabeth felt anxious. She did not want to leave the room. What would he say?
Anne was at the door. "Elizabeth, are you coming?"
There was no escaping it. "Yes," she said with a sigh.
Anne saw her hesitation and said, "Do not worry. He will love it."
Elizabeth looked at her friend in surprise, but said nothing, silently happy nonetheless. She followed Anne to the stairs and slowly descended, her heart beating more furiously with each consecutive step. As they neared the landing, Elizabeth saw Darcy and Victor standing with their eyes on her. She blushed as her eyes met Darcy's. He held her gaze and she felt drawn to the fire in his eyes. Elizabeth could not look away, his hold on her was so complete. Once she and Anne were standing in front of the gentlemen, Elizabeth lowered her eyes for fear of losing herself again.
"You look very beautiful," said Victor with wonder in his voice. "You too, Anne."
Darcy did not say anything, but he did not need to. His eyes said enough. Anne saw this with delight. Darcy's reaction was everything she had expected and more. There could be no mistaking the pure, unadulterated devotion in his eyes. Elizabeth could not be that blind. Anne watched with even greater triumph as Darcy offered Elizabeth his arm, which she silently accepted. Victor then offered Anne his arm and she accepted ruefully. The ride to Gracechurch street was exceptionally silent. Elizabeth avoided Darcy's eyes as much as possible, but she was aware that his gaze was fixed on her. Anne contented herself with watching the scene in silence and Victor just stared out the window. When they arrived, Darcy handed the ladies out. As Elizabeth gave him her hand, she looked at him for a moment and blushed. Darcy smiled and bowed and followed the party inside.
"Elizabeth, you are here," Mrs. Gardiner greeted her. She acknowledged her guests. "Mr. Darcy, Miss Anne."
"Aunt, this is Lord Victor Sheffield," Elizabeth introduced him. "This is my aunt, Victor."
Victor bowed graciously. "I am pleased to make your acquaintance, Mrs. Gardiner."
Mr. Gardiner appeared and Elizabeth hugged her uncle. "I am so happy to see you, Elizabeth."
Elizabeth beamed and as the necessary introductions were made, the party proceeded inside. There were several other acquaintances of the Gardiners already assembled. Mr. Bingley was already present and very much engaged in conversation with Jane. Jane excused herself when she saw her sister. She was introduced to Victor and she smiled.
"I have heard so much about you, Lord Sheffield," said Jane. "It is wonderful to finally make your acquaintance."
Victor bowed. "The pleasure is all mine, I assure you."
As if sensing the new arrivals, Caroline Bingley appeared. "Mr. Darcy! How lovely. I thought I heard your voice."
Elizabeth paled as she saw her and Darcy said, "Miss Bingley...I...ah, did not know you were here."
"When Charles informed me of the dinner invitation, I had to come," said Caroline.
I wish you hadn't. "Oh, I see," said Darcy politely and saw Bingley shrugging helplessly in the background.
Caroline linked arms with Darcy and said, "So, how is dear Georgiana?"
"Very well, thank you," sighed Darcy. "She will be in town tomorrow."
"How lovely!" exclaimed Caroline.
Anne watched Caroline with disgust and said, "Poor Darce."
"No one deserves her, least of all him," agreed Elizabeth. She then joined Jane and Bingley in their conversation.
Anne stood next to Victor awkwardly for a few moments, then said, "Victor."
"Yes?" he said.
"I believe I owe you an apology," she said. "I behaved abominably this morning. Please forgive me."
Victor smiled. "It is forgotten."
Anne looked at him. "That does not mean I trust you."
Victor laughed. "I did not think so for a second. It would be too easy."
Anne smiled wanly. "You know me too well."
"I suppose so," Victor smiled in return.
Caroline was at Darcy's side continually but at length, she realized that Darcy was barely listening to her. She was angered beyond words at her next revelation that he was not listening because he was too occupied in staring at Elizabeth. He watched her every move as she conversed easily with the guests and Caroline seethed. Caroline was seated far away from Darcy at dinner, but she saw with a jealous rage that although Darcy and Elizabeth were not close either, they exchanged several surreptitious glances. After dinner, several games of cards were set up accompanied by lively music from a talented young woman. The music persuaded some young people to dance and soon, in the latter part of the room, there were many couples dancing, not the least of which were Jane and Bingley. Elizabeth did not partake in the festivities. She stood there alone and glanced briefly at Darcy, looking away hurriedly. Caroline believed this to be the perfect opportunity to needle Elizabeth. She approached Elizabeth with an obviously fake smile.
"So, Eliza, it seems like the widowed life agrees with you."
Elizabeth stared at her. "I beg your pardon?"
"You seem to have recovered from your husband's death remarkably well."
Elizabeth tried to compose herself as she said, "I...it is none of your concern."
Caroline smiled at her success. "Well, as a friend, I just wanted to tell you that some people might not understand your relationship with Mr. Darcy, if you know what I mean."
Elizabeth knew exactly what she meant and trembled with rage. "Excuse me."
She hurriedly exited the room without anyone noticing, well, except Darcy. He had overheard Caroline's comments, glared at her and followed Elizabeth to the terrace. The music could still be faintly heard as Darcy approached Elizabeth, her back turned towards him. She heard him and turned around, blinking to remove traces of the few tears that occupied her eyes. She looked at Darcy for a moment, but said nothing. Darcy studied the sadness on her face and wished he could wipe those tears away.
"You cannot allow Caroline Bingley's comments to upset you," Darcy said finally.
"I...just...well, she is right, you know," Elizabeth said.
"You are Anne's companion," Darcy reminded her. "It is your duty to stay with her always."
Elizabeth smiled faintly. "I know that, you know that, but people like Caroline Bingley do not know that."
"Since when did you care about what people think?" Darcy said softly. "I recall the first time I saw you fighting spiritedly with highwaymen. You didn't care then, so why now?"
Elizabeth allowed herself to smile at that remembrance. "It is not myself I am concerned about."
"Then what are you concerned about?" Darcy asked.
"Your reputation," said Elizabeth. "I do not want your name sullied on my account."
"That is impossible," said Darcy.
"You do not understand, Mr. Darcy," said Elizabeth. "People say wicked things. Miss Bingley is just one of them."
Darcy said, "No, you do not understand. I do not care what people say or think."
Elizabeth looked at him in surprise, the tenderness in voice evident. She remained silent for she was at a loss of words. There was so much that needed to be said; such promises, such proclamations, such confessions. But neither of them spoke, well, not aloud anyway. Their eyes communicated more actively than their mouths. Elizabeth looked into his eyes, boldly accepting their challenge, attracted by their passion, their mystery, their promise. There was a small, triumphant smile playing on Darcy's lips, a smile that Elizabeth decided made him appear more handsome than ever.
"Will you do me the great honor of dancing with me?" Darcy suddenly asked.
"Now? Here?" asked Elizabeth, looking about the empty room, the music wafting through the closed door.
"There was never a better time or place," declared Darcy and Elizabeth could not refuse.
Darcy and Elizabeth stood in front of each other and bowed slightly. As their hands touched, Darcy looked at Elizabeth and softly said,
If I profane with my unworthiest handThis holy shrine, the gentle fine is this:
My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand
To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.
Elizabeth stared at Darcy in surprise as they continued to dance. She could not help but reply in kind,
Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much,Which mannerly devotion shows in this;
For saints have hands that pilgrims do touch,
And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.
Darcy smiled, gratified at her response. He looked into her eyes as he said,
Have not saint lips, and holy palmers too?
Elizabeth grinned as she replied,
Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.
Darcy seemed to enjoy himself immensely.
O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do;Then pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.
Elizabeth colored slightly for she knew what was to come.
Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake.
Darcy's smile widened as he said,
Then, move not, while my prayer's effect I take.Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged.
Elizabeth knew that a kiss followed and she knew that she hoped he would kiss her. It was a reckless hope, one that she would not have consciously admitted to, but with some little confusion, she found herself replying,
Then have my lips the sin that they have took.
Darcy could not believe his ears. Had she just asked him to kiss her?
Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged!Give me my sin again.
He looked at her for a moment, as the song concluded in the distance and gently claimed her hands, bringing it to his lips for a soft, tender kiss, not removing his eyes from hers for a moment. Elizabeth colored as she softly said,
You kiss by the book. *
Darcy seemed as overwhelmed as she was and murmured. "Thank you."
Elizabeth was too dazed to reply.
* excerpt from Act I, Scene v, Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare
Chapter 30
Elizabeth did not know how to react, hundred different emotions attacking her simultaneously, making her unable to even think coherently. She was certain that what she was feeling at that moment was close to pure bliss. She had never been so happy or so scared in her life. She was almost deliriously happy and she knew that the deep blush on her face was painfully evident, and if she had had the courage to look at Darcy, she would have witnessed a similar blush adorning his cheeks. Elizabeth was also extremely scared of what had just happened. It scared her because she could no longer deny any attraction between Darcy and herself. She could no longer convince herself that Darcy's feelings for her were neutral. Blind as she was when it came to love, even Elizabeth could not miss the emotion in Darcy's eyes and his voice when he had thanked her. Elizabeth sighed. Why did he have to be so wonderful?
Elizabeth slowly raised her eyes to look at him and saw that he was staring at her, an old habit, undoubtedly, but one that never ceased to bring color to her cheeks. Flushed, Elizabeth knew that it was time for them to return to reality, for the time being, at least. "Perhaps we should return, Mr. Darcy," she said. "Or we might be missed."
Darcy looked at her with an almost boyish grin on his face. "That would be scandalous, would it not?"
Elizabeth smiled. "Yes, it would and you would not like that."
"On the contrary," Darcy said, with a teasing smile. "I would love to see the expression on Miss Bingley's face when she found out."
Elizabeth laughed. "You are too cruel, Mr. Darcy."
Darcy laughed as well. "I suppose I am, but only occasionally." His expression became a little more serious. "I do not like the way she treats you."
Elizabeth was touched by his concern for her. "Do not worry. She cannot hurt me. I barely listen to what she says."
Darcy said, "I know that, but still she has no right to accuse you of anything."
"I agree," Elizabeth sighed. "But people will say what they will. She will not be the only one, though. I am afraid tongues will be wagging all over town as she tells her friends about me, in no flattering light, I am sure."
"You should not let it bother you," Darcy said, looking at her steadfastly.
"It does not bother me," said Elizabeth with conviction. "I just wish...that you and Anne were not involved in vicious gossip as well."
Darcy looked at her carefully. "I thought we already established that I do not care what people say or think, for that matter."
Elizabeth allowed herself to smile. "I suppose we did."
Darcy studied her face and knew that the boundaries to his self-restraint were being crossed with amazing rapidity and he needed to distance himself from her, for now. He offered her his arm and said, "Shall we go, Miss Bennet?"
Elizabeth took his arm and said with a smile. "Indeed."
When Darcy and Elizabeth returned to the room, they parted ways, a little reluctantly. Elizabeth went to find her aunt and uncle, afraid that she had been neglecting them. Even as she spoke with her uncle, however, Elizabeth found her eyes traveling across the room in search of him. She saw him speaking with Anne and from the animated smile on Anne's face, she knew that he had let something of their interlude slip. Elizabeth rolled her eyes at the ease with which Anne could manipulate everyone into revealing their secrets. Elizabeth knew that the difficult questions would come from Anne, questions that she was not yet ready to answer.
Elizabeth saw that Jane was temporarily separated from Bingley, so she went to her sister and greeted her. "How are you enjoying yourself with your Mr. Bingley, Jane?"
Jane beamed. The answer was clear enough. "Do not tease me, Lizzy. You very well know he is not my Mr. Bingley."
Elizabeth smirked. "Oh, I think he is. Please do not tell me that you cannot see that he is hopelessly in love with you. If there were not about three and twenty people in this room, I am certain he would propose this instant."
Jane colored, but seemed happy at the idea. "You really think so?"
"I am almost certain of it," Elizabeth assured her.
"I am so happy, Lizzy," said Jane. "I am almost scared to be this happy. I would not be able to bear it if it was taken away."
Elizabeth squeezed her hand. "Oh, Jane! That will never happen. Mr. Bingley loves you and this time, he will not let you get away."
Jane hugged Elizabeth. "Thank you."
As Elizabeth embraced her sister, she said, "I miss you so much, Jane."
Jane looked at her. "And I you. Oh, I wish I could see you more often."
"I know," sighed Elizabeth. "But you know my situation. I am doing my best."
"Papa really misses you as well," said Jane.
Elizabeth sighed again. "I know. I shall visit Longbourn soon."
Jane smiled. "He would like that. And so would I."
At this point, Bingley came and greeted the ladies, speaking with Elizabeth for a few moments, before he claimed Jane for yet another dance. Elizabeth watched the couple dance and was so engrossed in envisioning the wedding that she did not notice Anne standing next to her.
"I am glad you are having such a good time," said Anne referring to the silly grin on Elizabeth's face.
Elizabeth looked at Anne, her grin showing no signs of disappearing. "I am just so happy for Jane. She is so good. She deserves every last bit of her happiness."
"I agree," said Anne. "In the short time that I have known her, I can tell that she and Bingley will make a wonderful couple. He shall ask her soon, I dare say."
"I think so too," said Elizabeth.
"Perhaps you two will get married together," Anne said slyly.
Elizabeth looked at Anne in surprise. "What?"
"You know, a double wedding," Anne continued. "I am very partial to them myself, I must admit. Very romantic."
Elizabeth colored. "It is a little early to be talking of weddings."
Anne was quick to say, "But you agree that there is a wedding in the near future."
"I didn't say that," Elizabeth said.
Anne smiled mischievously. "You didn't have to."
"You are the devil, Anne de Bourgh," Elizabeth groaned.
"Why, thank you, my dear," Anne laughed.
"I am glad you are enjoying yourself," Elizabeth pouted.
"Now, come, Elizabeth," Anne said, her mirth evident in her eyes. "Clandestine dances in empty rooms? A little suggestive, wouldn't you say?"
Elizabeth glared at her friend, "There was nothing clandestine about it."
"Of course," Anne said with air of playfulness.
"Anne!" Elizabeth said. "Why do you always torture me?"
"Because you are easy to torture," replied Anne with a smile. "And very stubborn too. All in all, a perfect match for Darce. So, how was it?"
"How was what?" Elizabeth asked, bewildered.
"The dance, of course," Anne said with some impatience. Seeing the dreamy look in Elizabeth's eyes, she said, "That good, huh?"
"How can you tell?" Elizabeth did not bother to deny it.
"You have the smile and the look of someone truly in love," Anne said. "It is pointless to try and hide it. It is quite apparent, I assure you, to everyone except Darce, I think."
"What do you mean?" asked Elizabeth.
"Well, Darce does not think that you love him," said Anne. "I know that you do, and you know that you do, but he believes you danced with him out of some sort of charity. He is remarkably dense that way, really. A blind person could see the love in your eyes when you tried in vain to have a conversation with your uncle, all the time stealing glimpses at him."
"I am that obvious," sighed Elizabeth.
"I am sorry to say you are," Anne smiled. "But that cannot possibly be a bad thing, can it? Why would you wish to hide your feelings?"
Elizabeth looked away. "It is not that simple, Anne, you must see that."
"No, I can't say that I do," replied Anne. "I can see no reason why you should torture Darce so, for torturing him you are. He is desperately in love with you and if you continue to make him believe that you have no feelings for him, it will just break his heart."
"So you want me to tell him that I love him?" said Elizabeth dubiously.
"And why not?" challenged Anne. "It might be a little unconventional, but I imagine that you never cared much for convention yourself."
Elizabeth smiled. "I suppose not."
"So, what is the problem?" Anne was definitely tenacious.
"It just seems so sudden," Elizabeth said. "I refused him not too long ago, and then, I turn around and tell him that I love him. It appears irrational, even for me."
"But it cannot be sudden," said Anne. "You said so yourself."
"I did?" Elizabeth doubted that she had, but she listened attentively to Anne.
Anne nodded. "Remember when you told me about how you met. It was apparent from your narrative that you fell in love with him early on, but circumstances prevented your union then. Things are different now and I dare say, Darce will not complain and surely, will not call you fickle if you tell him your true feelings."
"Are you certain?" Elizabeth said.
"Very," said Anne with confidence. "Trust me."
"Now that is a scary thought," Elizabeth said with a laugh.
"So?" Anne was eager to know her friend's decision.
"I will think about it," said Elizabeth.
Anne smiled, knowing that her victory was imminent. She had forced Elizabeth to confront the issues at hand and she was fairly certain that a happy end to this fairy tale was not too far away. She glanced around the room to find Darce conversing with Mr. Gardiner politely. Anne smiled. Love had an odd effect on people, it certainly did on Darce for he was engaging in conversation with strangers, a feat that was rarely witnessed at any gathering. All the matchmaking made Anne yearn for her own Richard and she sighed. If only he would return to her soon.
Meanwhile, Victor approached Elizabeth with a smile, "I see you are faring well."
Elizabeth looked at him with a teasing smile. "As well as can be expected without your company, of course."
Victor grinned. "Of course."
Elizabeth smiled in response, but her attention was distracted by Darcy who laughed out loud at something her uncle said. Elizabeth wished dearly to know what was so humorous, but nonetheless, was pleasantly surprised at the sound of Darcy's laugh. She had not heard him laugh often and its rareness made it all the more precious. Victor noticed her preoccupation, as he followed her line of sigh, his blue eyes darkening with fear.
"You seem more favorably disposed towards Darcy, of late," Victor observed.
Elizabeth's attention snapped back. "Yes, I suppose so."
"What changed?" Victor asked.
Everything. "I hardly know myself," replied Elizabeth. "But you shall be the first one to know, when I discover it. After Anne, that is." Elizabeth laughed, hoping that her mirth would take Victor's mind away from the more important questions. But it would have been too easy.
"I see," said Victor, his mood somber all of a sudden.
Elizabeth decided that Victor deserved to hear the truth. "Victor, I am not certain myself what will happen with Mr. Darcy, but I cannot disregard him completely. In short, I cannot promise anything."
Victor seemed confused. "But you refused him."
"I know," sighed Elizabeth. It would be difficult to explain. "But that is of little significance. It sounds strange, I know, but it is true."
Victor looked at her. "I cannot say that I understand it."
Elizabeth shrugged. "You do not have to understand it." She paused. "I just need to time to think and discover what I truly feel. I do not want to hurt you in any way, but this is something I must do for myself."
"You could never hurt me," said Victor tenderly.
"Victor..." Elizabeth began to say, wearily.
"No, please," Victor said. "It is true. No matter what the outcome, I shall never regret having been acquainted with you. It is easily the most happy occurrence in my life. I understand that you do not wish to hear this, especially now, but hear it, you must. Elizabeth, I love you."
Elizabeth held her breath. Nothing could have prepared her for that. "Oh Victor," she whispered. She was glad that there was no one near enough to overheard them for she could not bear to embarrass Victor publicly. "I do not know what to say."
"Please, don't say anything," Victor said slowly. "I just wanted you to know, indeed, I think it was rather apparent. I do not expect any answer."
Elizabeth sighed in relief. "I..." She stopped awkwardly. What could she say in such a circumstance.
Victor saw her discomfort and smiled. "I dare say you have never seen me that serious for such an extended period of time."
"I confess that I have not," Elizabeth smiled in return.
"It is frightening, is it not?" joked Victor.
"Indeed," said Elizabeth, not at all fooled by his facetiousness.
Victor looked at her intensely for a moment, then said, "I think it best that I leave now. Goodbye, Elizabeth."
"Goodbye, Victor," she said and could not help but add, "I am sorry."
"Please, don't be," said Victor.
He bowed elaborately and then with a small smile took her leave. She watched him thank her aunt and uncle and then exit the room with some haste. Elizabeth sighed. She knew that she hurt him, but there had really no recourse. It was probably for the best that he knew the facts as they stood, so that he did not get taken by surprise at any event that followed. Elizabeth pondered his sudden declaration and admitted that she had known at some level, but it was a different matter to hear such avowals of love. It was flattering, but confusing as well, and Elizabeth only wished her life could be as uncomplicated as Anne's.
Elizabeth stayed for another half hour, after which she and Anne decided it was time to leave. At that point, they communicated that decision to Darcy, who joined them in bidding farewell to Gardiners and thanking them for their hospitality. Darcy reminded them of his open invitation to visit Pemberley and Mrs. Gardiner good-naturedly thanked him, assuring him of her compliance if she ever found herself in the vicinity. Elizabeth took leave of Jane, who was still much occupied with Bingley and then, without much further ado, they left. The carriage was relatively silent on the journey home for each person was occupied by his or her own thoughts.
When they arrived at the townhouse, the housekeeper appeared and as they entered, she said, "There is a gentleman waiting to see you, Mr. Darcy."
"A gentleman?" Darcy said. "At this hour?"
"Yes," nodded the housekeeper. "He would not give his name but he insisted that it was a matter of utmost importance and one that required your attention. I told him that he could come tomorrow, but he would not leave. So I let him wait in the parlor."
Extremely puzzled, Darcy went to the parlor, followed by Elizabeth and Anne. When they entered it, a man stood near the window, staring outside. On hearing footsteps, he turned around and when he beheld the new arrivals, he smiled widely and said,
"I am delighted to see you again, Elizabeth."
Elizabeth felt her bile rise. "George," she whispered.