Posted on Sunday, 7 May 2000, at 2 : 28 p.m.

"No, no. Not that one! The one with the yellow lace trim. Yes, that's it!" Mrs. Bennet nodded as the maid held out the nightgown of her choice and twittered cheerily as the two servants helped her to change.

"Oh, dear Jane looked so beautiful this morning, did she not, Rose? Of course she did," Mrs. Bennet continued without waiting for a reply. The maids, accustomed to this non-stop dialogue, merely went on with their task. "And Lizzy! Well, who would have thought she would keep such a civil tongue in her head for the entire day, I ask you! But she did look rather lovely, too, I must admit." She sighed as the nightgown was slipped on. "And now there are but two of my girls left at home. Oh, three married in the space of a few short months! One can hardly believe it possible!"

The two maids kept respectfully silent, whatever thoughts they may have entertained in the privacy of their own minds. Their mistress waved one of them to bring forward her nightcap and, as it was arranged over her hair, the door opened quietly to admit Hill.

"Oh, there you are, Hill!" cried Mrs. Bennet happily. "I knew you would not forsake me, even in this mad bustle of a day." She settled herself onto her chaise and took the proffered cup from the housekeeper's hand, then dismissed the other two servants.

"Oh!" she sighed lustily. "And what a day it has been, too!"

"Indeed, ma'am."

"And did you see that hideous gown that Mrs. Long chose to wear? To a wedding, no less! My daughters' wedding!" Mrs. Bennet's hands fluttered about her neck as if she couldn't make up her mind between coughing and fainting.

Hill held forth the small bottle of vinaigrette. "I cannot say that I noticed it, ma'am. I was not privileged to sit near enough to the front pews."

"Oh, of course not." The lady waved off the offer of the restorative and smiled at Hill. "But let me assure you, it was ghastly! Nothing the least fashionable in it, nothing at all. And the colour! Oh! What it did not do for her complexion."

"I did see Miss Bingley in the crowd of well-wishers, ma'am," Hill thought to interject while on the subject of colour.

"Yes, and what a delightful change from those bright oranges she used to wear last year when they were here. But such a drab green. One might almost think they were mourning clothes."

There was a period of silence while the last sounds of movement settled through the house. Hill busied herself by tidying up stray bits and pieces around the room, while Mrs. Bennet lay back on her chaise, sipping the cup of special tea that the housekeeper prepared for her every evening.

"You know, Hill," she said at last in a subdued voice. "I find it ironic that of all of my girls, Lizzy is the one who has done the best in finding a husband. It's not that I find Mr. Darcy particularly appealing as a man, but he does have the largest fortune of all of my new sons-in-law. How strange that it should be Lizzy who attracted him!"

Hill, who never scrupled to agree with her mistress whatever her thoughts might be to the contrary, simply nodded her head and muttered, "Mm-hmm."

"And although Mr. Wickham is by far the most engaging, it is a sad fact that he is quite lacking in necessities."

"A bank account," Hill provided.

"Indeed! But perhaps Mr. Darcy may be persuaded to provide him with some comforts in that direction. If he is so fond of Lizzy's impertinence, maybe she will be impertinent enough to press him to perform that act of kindness." Mrs. Bennet fluffed the skirt of her nightgown as she contemplated this possibility.

The teacup now empty, Hill placed it back on its saucer and onto the tray she would return to the kitchen.

"Ah, what a comfort it is to know that Jane, at least, will be within easy reach. It will take some extra work to find Mary a husband. Kitty I need not worry about for another year or so, but Mary! Yes, Jane shall take her to London and set her about in society." Satisfied with these thoughts, Mrs. Bennet smiled at Hill. "And even that sour-faced Miss Bingley will have nothing to say to it. I wager we'll have Mary happily wed.. well, wed anyway... long before Miss Bingley finds a suitor willing to offer for her!"

The two laughed softly at this picture.

"Still," continued Mrs. Bennet. "If Jane cannot find a acceptable candidate for Mary, then I'm sure Lizzy will. She will certainly travel in higher circles than the Bingleys, and will be able to persuade Mary to accept even the most disagreeable of personages. After all, she put aside Mr. Darcy's lack of proper manners for the inducement of home comforts. She will definitely be able to convince her sister to do the same."

Hill silently thought that not even the Devil himself would be able to shift Mary from her distaste for any male who demonstrated a lack of good sense. Then again... Mr. Collins came to mind. And no-one was more lacking in good sense than that young man!

"Oh, what say you to this, Hill? For I am sure to be a grandmother before the next year is out. Who do you think will grace me with my first grandchild?"

"I would hope that dear Mrs. Bingley would be the first, ma'am. Those two will make such loving parents."

"Yes!" Mrs. Bennet enthusiastically agreed. Then a frown creased her face. "But wouldn't it be just like Lizzy to usurp that honour. And she'll probably have a son, as well! My poor, dear Lydia could be left out in the cold with no children to warm her heart! Oh, what a lamentable thought!"

Hill thought there could be no less lamentable thought than Mr. and Mrs. Wickham being denied the begetting of offspring. On the contrary, the likelihood that those two would procreate a dozen seemed more likely.

"Ah, I am far too young to be a grandmother," sighed the mistress of the house. "Not with two daughters still to dispose of. What a tragedy that Longbourne shall pass to the Collins's! It hardly bears thinking about. My girls must be taken care of before that eventuality comes to pass."

"Yes," agreed Hill. "Any of them could then take care of you. You need not worry about finding a home for yourself and your daughters."

"Pshaw! Why would I be staying with any of them?" Mrs. Bennet scoffed. "I'm sure that wouldn't suit any of us. I have in mind a small house of my own. Yes, that would do very nicely, indeed, and even Mr. Bingley, you know, would pay good money to set me up in a house far away from his own."

Hill worked these words over in her mind as she assisted her mistress into bed and drew up the coverlets.

"It's really a pity," Mrs. Bennet continued as the housekeeper moved about the room, extinguishing lamps. "If Mr. Collins had married one of my girls, then all of this would be irrelevant. On the other hand, if he had, then I would be obliged to stay on at Longbourn, and that would never do."

Hill deigned to enquire as to why this would not do.

"Why, my dear, I couldn't live in the same house as that toadying little milksop! Credit me with that much at least!"

The End