Prologue
Her dress was cut from the finest ivory tulle and embroidered with the tiniest of pearls along the hem, the color set her complexion, making her skin look like sweet cream. Her hair was adored with ivory and scarlett ribbons interwoven in complex and beautiful patterns that complimented the roses and ivory lilies of her bouquet. Yet the most stunning adornment of her appearance was the beautiful smile that graced her face, tugging at the corners of her mouth and revealing two rows of pearly white teeth. Her countenance was wearied by the events of the past year, yet the weariness was put aside by the pure glow of devotion and joy that graced her features as she looked upon her husband.
By her side stood her only unmarried sister, Kitty and her beloved sister-in-law Georgianna. Kitty's face bore a look of great joy and contentment, for her affection for her sister was supreme in her heart. Under the careful tutelage of Jane now the proud Mrs. Bingly, Elizabeth and Mary, who had recently given up her father's name to become Lady Heighton- much to the unending joy of her mother, Kitty had matured into a woman who equaled her sisters in beauty, sense, and heart. All the effects of the unfortunate patronage of Lydia had all but vanished, and Kitty now was the woman she could have been years ago where it not for the faults of education.
Next to her stood another young woman who had also made the great leap from girlhood to womanhood, no longer was there the shy young sixteen year old creature but rather the reserved yet ultimately golden hearted young woman of 18. The past year and a half had wreaked havoc on the lives of the Bennets and the Darcy's yet in no one had there been such a profound change as Georgianna. Her brother's illness had forced her to mature overnight, and the constant presence of a certain individual had caused her to explore feelings that had lied dormant for some time. The girl of sixteen who couldn't even contemplate love was replaced by the young woman who knew the machinations of that emotion all too well...
Across from the bride stood Fitzwilliam Darcy, still handsome despite the fact that his imposing visage had been lessened considerably by his weight loss. The past months of illness had taken his toll on him, he was thinner and his skin had a certain pallor. Yet the joy that pulsed through his very heart had a great deal to do with his recovery. One could discern no illness on his countenance, only the serenity that true love provides as he stared upon his beloved.
By his side stood arguably the most handsome man in the room, resplendent in his uniform. The tall lean figure topped by a handsome countenance. Yet the man whose wit was renowned, and whose good humor was famous was markedly out of sorts. No cheery smile livened his features, no quirk of the eyebrows banished his somber looks. He was perhaps the most serious of all those who looked upon the scene, yet no one - save one pair of eyes that had been long used to gazing upon him unnoticed - observed his melancholy.
"Do you Fitzwilliam Darcy take this woman Elizabeth Bennet to be your wife."
WIFE. Will you become my wife Anna?
"To love..."
LOVE. I Love You Richard
"and Cherish, for all the days that ye shall live?"
LIVE. I'll love you for as long as I live Richard.
And it was fortunate indeed that the guest where so enraptured by the chaste kiss Darcy gave Elizabeth that they neglected to notice the look of sorrow that graced Richard's face and the unshed tears that glistened in his eyes.
Chapter 1
As is such Fitzwilliam sought solace for the momentary loss of his wife in the company of his cousin, who had been markedly reticent all day.
"I say Richard, I hope you are not such a fool as I to wait so long to be so utterly happy." William said with a sigh to his younger cousin. "It's high time you abandon the ranks of bachelor hood and join our own." He said as he good naturedly clapped his cousin's back.
"Marriage has made you delirious William, it is fortunate indeed that I shall never be subject to such delerium since I am a confirmed bachelor."
"Nonsense Richard, just find a pretty girl. And seeing as if you're my cousin it should make a favorable impression with the lady, and might I mention that there are some remarkably pretty girls here today...why I'm sure Lizzy's sister is rather charming."
"You're about as chirpy as Bingly William, and all this talk of marriage indicates that you've been spending a great deal of time under the tutellage of your esteemed mother in law.'
"Ah...had I known what bliss marriage is I should have long since taken Mrs. Bennet's advice and plunged head first into the affair."
"You appear a firm supporter of the married state, despite your only being party to it a few hours."
"Aah...but I have known my Elizabeth for three years now...and allow me to say that such Felicity is rare indeed as that one finds in love. Just pick a woman and get married, you won't regret it."
"May I inquire what took you so long to marry William?"
"I simply hadn't found the right woman...Ahhhh I see...touche Richard." William said with the silly grin that had been a permanent fixture since he had seen his Elizabeth grace the church with her presence. "Richard one more thing, I'm entrusting you with my sister while I'm away, and normally that wouldn't even present a moment's concern...however Georgianna has been seemingly out of sorts as of late."
"Do not concern yourself William, what you see is merely a young woman where your little sister once stood."
"It is as if she has grown so much is such a short time, and with my illness and all the improvements about Pemberley, I feel as if I hardly know her."
"Has it occured to you perhaps that your sister has undergone a transformation not unlike the one you underwent when taking over the reins of Pemberley?"
"I had hoped to prevent such a loss of innocence, I had wanted to protect her from..."
"From growing up...it was inivetable William" he said as he clapped his back.
"How is it that you have suddenly become so wise?" William asked with a smirk.
"I haven't grown wiser, old chap...love has just made you a fool."
"Ahh...Richard if the measure of a fool is the strength of his devotion to his beloved...then I should be jester at court." He said with a smile.
"And you question my preference of bachelorhood?" he said with a smile.
From the corner of William's eye he noticed his wife's shy smile beckoning him to her side. William excused himself quickly and bolted to his side. Richard was content to finish his drink in relative silence until he noticed the subject of his prior conversation, Georgianna, falling prey to the furious tongue of Ms. Bingly. The rescue was marked only for it's brevity and soon Georgianna and Richard where resting in comfortable silence outside the benches apart from the hustle of the gathering.
"Richard..."
"Yes Georgie?" he asked with a smile for the young woman.
"I noticed that you where...that you where somewhat out of sorts during the ceremony."
"I had thought that there should be better objects of interest during that time than myself," he said attempting to plaster on the teasing smile.
"You need not put up the front with me Richard, tell me...are you alright?" she asked as she layed her hand on his wrist ever so gently.
"I suppose that there is nothing I could do where I not."
"You...you do not confess...you where not enamored of Elizabeth where you?" she asked with a tiny gasp.
"No Georgie, she's wonderful...for William. It is not she who plagues my thoughts." He said with a smile.
"Then have...have you ever been in love?" she asked shyly
"that is an entirely different story for an entirely different time," he said rising as he offered her his arm.
"I'm sorry if I offended you Richard, I didn't mean to pry." She said shyly. His finger lifted to her lips in an attempt at silence.
"Don't be sorry Georgie, let me assure you that you are the only person I should share it with." He said with the most sorrowful of smiles.
Georgie's heart beat wildly as she felt the his arm encircle her own as he escorted her back into the veritable swarm of guests, both refreshed enough with the tete a tete to do struggle once more in the battlefield of the ballroom.
Chapter 2
"You always were a terrible liar William" she said as she embraced him.
"I cannot wait to begin to know you better Georgianna," said Lizzy with a smile and light embrace for her sister.
"Neither can I although, sometimes I feel as if I know you rather well already, especially since you're all William talks about." Said Georgianna with a smirk not altogether lost on her brother.
"I know we shall be great friends," said Lizzy brightly...
"...and even better sisters." Georgie finished, "Please call me Anna, everyone does...well with exception of Richard, and William always calls me Georgiana when he's cross with me."
"And that is almost next to never." Her brother said as he patted her brown curls affectionately.
"I think you might as well call it never William, you know you can never be angry with this nusiance," said Richard, but the look in his indicated how much of a nuisance he really believed her to be...
"Elizabeth, oh Elizabeth the coachman is waiting! Child will you two never be off? Oh Lord, this coach is so very fine," began Mrs. Bennet, to which cue Darcy and Elizabeth embraced their siblings once more and made their hasty departure.
As they drove away, they both leaned out the side of the carriage, in what Mrs. Bennet remarked as the most improper fashion for a lady, what if Lizzy where to hurt herself, then what would become of them, oh no one had any compassion for her nerves.
Thankfully for Richard and Georgie they where able to secure a position some distance from their new in law and where quite content to view the departure of their friends in quiet reflection.
"They shall be quite happy together shall they not," Richard asked, almost to himself,
"I pray that they will," said Georgie quietly, "they are both so deserving of whatever happiness comes their way."
"Happiness doesn't always light upon those most deserving of it, Georgianna," said Richard quietly.
"But this time it shall Richard, I am sure of it," she said confidently, "But now I shall be all alone," she said with a sigh that was half jest, half serious, "They shall not have time for their little encumbrance of a sister."
"Do not worry dear cousin, their is one relative in your immediate vicinity who shall always have time for you." Said Richard with a smile that made Georgie's heart beat wildly.
"Well I'm sure Mrs. Bennet will always be happy to see me, but how much time can I realistically spend at Longbourne," said Georgie slyly.
"Georgianna Darcy, you are an altogether altered creature from the one I knew only a few years ago,"
"Oh Richard, it is still I beneath all this, people seldom change you know," she said as she leaned against his arm.
we've changed Richard, we've grown apart...I can't marry you, I can't marry you.
"Richard, a shilling for your thoughts," asked Georgie, covering her worry with a teasing tone, he had been moody and reticent since the ceremony. Not to mention being rather prone to drifting into another realm altogether whilst they where speaking."
"My thoughts are worth far more or far less than that shilling, you procure no knowledge from it my dear." He said with a smile.
"Finally a smile sire, what a great boon you have given your most humble subjects," said Georgie with an exaggerated bow.
"'Tis alright young peasant, but do not get to used to such excellent treatment."
"You are altogether far too benevolent My Liege," said Georgie barely supressing a giggle.
"Now you sound remarkably like our dear friend Mr. Collins addressing our most noble and exquisite benevolent aunt, his most esteemed patroness." At which comment Georgie's barely suppressed giggle burst forth into full-fledged laughter.
"It appears that our coach has arrived my fair cousin," said Richard with an elaborate bow as he extended his hand.
"Why thank you Richard," she replied as she felt the familiar tingle his touch alerted in her senses.
Darkness had already descended upon the carriage, and Georgianna's gentle breath came in shallow bursts as sleep over came her. Her head rested on her delicate little hand, which was unable to support it's weight. Richard delicately lifted her up and allowed her to lean her body against his shoulder. He draped his arm about her protectively, patting her head with great affection. She was a good child his Georgie...nay he could no longer call her a good child, she had turned into and excellent young woman...
Someday she too would meet a young man who would bring her great joy and she would leave him too, but for now Richard was content to have his Georgie remain his companion, confidant, and partner in mischief.
It seemed as if everyone was marrying, growing up, assuming adult roles and moving on with their lives, everyone except for him...all he wanted...all he longed to do was live the past...
Seven years ago....
"Anna what in God's name are you doing?"
"I'm riding a horse Richard, don't they have those in Cambridge."
"Yes Anna, but you're riding a horse bare back in practically the middle of the night."
"First of all Richard, it is not the middle of the night, late perhaps but not certainly to that extreme, second of all, if it is this late then no one will see me riding bare back," she replied as she spurred her horse forward.
"Anna we aren't children anymore, you can't just behave in a manner of complete disregard for all of societies rules and regulations."
"...and what may I enquire has society ever done for me or my family?" she asked coldly.
"Anna..."
"What has it done for us Richard? Nothing but scorn and turn it's bloody cheek the other way, I cannot tell you how many dinner parties or card parties or musical reviews I have taken my dear Papa too only to be the subject of gossip and ridicule." She stated fiercely, "I want none of there approval, in fact I want nothing to do with it at all."
"You must expect, and tolerate that treatment to a degree Anna, after all your sister,"
"What did my sister do but follow her heart?" she asked, "is that a crime?"
"Anna she didn't just follow her heart, she followed a married man to the continent, she ran away with a man she barely knew, a man who left his wife and his children for her."
"They found happiness together Richard, it is far more than I can say for the washed up society madams and their husbands who don't even speak to one another anymore. They live by the letter of law as far as society is concerned, but look how far it has gotten them as far as happiness goes," she nodded her head sadly, "besides it is not only my sister who has misstepped, you cannot forget my own indescretion."
"That is different Anna, you where deceived and betrayed...and,"
"...and it is all the same in the eyes of the society you hold so high, can you imagine what would happen if that ever get out?" she said shaking her head softly.
"Anna, it shall never get out, it was not your fault...you where 15 years old, how could you even have known his true intentions, how could you have known..."
"...that he wouldn't marry me?" she said softly.
"Wickham was a villain...you must forget him Anna," he said tenderly.
"I have long forgotten him, it my own stupidity that I cannot forgive, nor can I look past that blemish upon my honor," she said sadly, "and that is why I do most of the things I do Richard," she said as if revealing her deepest secret. She blinked several times in quick succession to rid herself of her tears. "When the world finds out about that incident, which they will, I would much rather them say... 'Lady Anastasia Ashleigh, she was an odd creature...you can attribute her eloping with such a man as Wickham to her oddity.' At least it shall be better than pretending to be respectable," she said with a sad nod.
"For the love of God Anna, you are respectable, I respect you more than any other person I know," he said fiercely.
"You are unique my dear Richard, if all the world was like you, people like me wouldn't have any problems," she said smiling. "Sometimes, I just want to get away, to be far, far away from here, where no one would even care about my past, or my sister's indescretion, or my mother's death, or my father's oddity." She said with a sigh.
They rode in silence after this, until she stopped her mare, "I have to tell you something Richard," she said as he stopped his horse as well, "I've been proposed to by Lord Winterly,"
"The Scottsman?"
"It would be getting away at least, and he had fabulous grounds, and he loves me." She said her voice breaking.
"Do you love him?"
"You know I do not," she said her voice now steady, "but he loves me and he doesn't care about my past," she said as she began to ride off. "besides, who else would want to marry me?" she asked softly almost to herself.
"Anna," he called as he spurred his horse and grabbed her reins bringing them both to a halt, "Anna," he said as he lifted her chin, "look at me Anna, how can you even say that?" she tried to move her head away but he only held her chin tighter, forcing her to look him in the eye, "all I have ever done is love you." He said softly.
"Richard," she cried with a voice full of surprise.
"Anna, could you not see it, everything I have ever done has been centered around you, every thing I have ever longed for has involved you, I love you Anna, I always have and always will." He said his eyes searching his face.
"Richard, I do not deserve you." She cried as turned away.
"For once, just once, do not consider what you deserve, what is fair, what others think, just follow your own heart Anna, do you love me, have you ever loved me, just a little?"
"Richard I've loved you since I was seven years old and I first came to this field, and found you here, riding your pony. You gave me a ride, and you've had my heart ever since," she said as she threw herself in his arms.
"Oh Anna, if this is just a beautiful dream do not wake me."
"This is no dream Richard, I am yours if you will have me," she asked as her head rested on his chest.
"Marry me?"
"Of course?"
"Love me?"
"Always."
"Richard, Richard are you alright?" asked Georgie anxiously as she held his hand. She had woken with a start, as Richard had jerked forward, the word 'always' flying from his lips.
"I am alright Georgie, I'm alright." He said reassuringly as he gazed upon her anxious face. To him she had grown almost over night, she looked like a woman, enduring and strong, yet as gentle as a summer's day.
She still looked at him with some unease, although she still hadn't admitted it to herself, she was falling in love with her handsome cousin. Yet, he hadn't been himself at all today, his melancholy not only caused her great concern, but caused her great pain as well. "Richard, your sadness...you do not regret taking me in do you?"
"Georgianna Darcy! How could you even think such a thing? You who have brought nothing but sunshine to my life, how could I regret bringing sunshine to my gloomy old house?" he asked teasingly.
"I was just making sure," she said still not reassured. "well if it is not I, then what is it?" she asked.
"That is another story for another time," he said.
"Richard, have you ever thought that sharing your burdens might help you lesson them?" she asked shyly, "let me help you if I can," she said with all the innocence in the world.
"I think I shall Georgie, but look there is the estate, look there," he said pointing out the window.
Georgie sighed at seeing what would be her home for the next few weeks, if only she thought. If only what? for know she wouldn't even admit to herself, that what her heart longed for was this to be her home for evermore...