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Elizabeth did choose several PO boxes allowing Jane to send mail to her. Her fan mail had increased slightly, and Elizabeth still felt obligated to answer it all by hand. She tended to go through a lot of stationary.
Elizabeth did not like Florida too much. She didn't like the natural environment there or the lack of changing seasons, or the touristy-ness about the place. But it did have some decent clouds to photograph.
Elizabeth was not in Florida long before she picked up her first chunk of mail from the post office she had chosen. She emptied the crate on Cleo's floor and returned the crate to the post office. She sat in the middle of the mess.
"Junk mail, junk mail, fan mail, junk mail...Jane, I thought you were screening for me. Junk mail, good grief! How did I get on everyone's mailing list? More fan mail. Bills. Nice to have a change. Catalog, fan mail... junk mail, bill, catalog, magazine, promotional newsletter from Sierra Club, bill, offer of free CDs, and finally, more fan mail. Oh, and a letter from Jane. Wonderful." She opened it and read a long rapturous letter about how happy Jane was. Figures. What newly engaged woman would not be?
Not feeling up to reading fan mail just yet, Elizabeth sifted through the pile of mail to find the magazine. She found the Greenpeace magazine and looked at the cover.
How a company cleans up their mess
Elizabeth opened up the magazine and began to flip through it. Finally, she came to the cover article.
Several years ago we featured an article on Darcy Inc. polluting the little town of Brighton, Washington. Immediately following the release of the article, Greenpeace learned from the CEO of Darcy Inc., Mr. William Darcy himself, that the central office had no knowledge of the violations in Brighton. Darcy Inc. proceeded to embark on an expensive clean up. Not only did the company meticulously clean the surrounding environment of as much of the damage as possible, but also it is paying for the medical bills of the affected families living near the polluted site. In return for professional advice, Darcy Inc. allowed Greenpeace to follow in-depth the process of how a company cleans up the damage it creates.
Elizabeth read on, absorbing the detailed accounts of how the company dealt with the crisis. She read about how the company had Wickham arrested and put in jail, how Will himself visited the site and the families, how the Greenpeace experts helped create a way to clean up the toxic waste and return the environment to its natural state, how the plant was shut down and the workers received continuous compensation for time they could not work, and finally how the plant was reopened with cleaner machinery and a new manager.
Sam Withers looks at the now-clean site and says, "[Brighton] used to consider Darcy Inc. as the bad guy. They were pollutin' and hurtin' our kids. But now we know it was jus' Wickham that was the bad guy. Darcy Inc. has been real good 'bout the whole thing, 'specially considerin' how 'spensive this'll all be. In our eyes iz worth it. A lot more of us in Brighton'll be loyal to Darcy Inc. for many years to come."
The article finished and Elizabeth put it down slowly in complete and utter shock. She could not have imagined in her wildest dreams the result this article recounted. After not hearing about the Brighton pollution for several months, she thought Will had just hushed it up really well and continued on his merry way. But he had been solving the problem the entire time! She picked up the article and read it again more carefully, taking in how much Will must have personally put into this. She couldn't completely tell, so she grabbed the phone and dialed Colin's number. It rang and rang until the answering machine picked up. "Darn!" she exclaimed in frustration. She did not want to wait. But she had no choice. "Colin, this is Elizabeth. Could you call me as soon as you get this message? Thanks, bye." That should produce a fast reply.
Meanwhile, Elizabeth paced Cleo. Did this make Will a good guy? She remembered what Will had said in answer to her accusation. I will try harder. And then again, she remembered how she had used his company as a measure of his character. Well now the company looked better than any other corporation in the country. He had obviously known about this from the very beginning. Why didn't he tell her? Did he not want to be the one telling her? Or maybe he was just waiting until the project was finished. But then why hadn't he told her when he had the chance in his apartment. For surely the project must have been finished then if it appeared in this magazine so soon after. Oh why did this have to happen?!!! Everything she thought about Will was now turned upside down, and worse, she had made a complete ass of herself to him. In fact, she was downright cruel. She insulted him just as badly as he had her. There was misunderstanding on her side, so maybe there was misunderstanding behind what he had said to her. Well...and prejudice. She hadn't wanted to believe Will was a good guy. Because he had insulted her, she wanted to hold the grudge in spite of the fact that he was civil and had apologized.
Elizabeth screwed her face up and buried it in her hands. She had made a downright mess of everything. How could she ever look him in the face again? Should she apologize to him? Congratulate him? Thank him? What?
Hmmm, did Colin know about this? Or Jane or Charles? Why didn't she know if they did? She needed Colin to call back very soon or she would drive herself bonkers. Instead, she tried calling Jane, but she wasn't there, either. What else could she do?
Elizabeth stared stupidly at the piles of mail on the floor. She did not want to be doing this anymore. She felt in a weird mood, like there was no direction in her life anymore. Some god had just turned out her light and she was lost in the dark. Her only option was to wait until Jane or Colin lit a candle for her to see just a little, and maybe enough to see the map to get out of the dark. Where had she gone wrong?
After three more minutes of just sitting on the floor waiting for something to happen- the best scenario being the floor opening up and swallowing her- she got up and decided she would just have to continue her routine. That meant going to the driver's seat and heading for some really beautiful place she had never been to. There, she would take outstanding pictures that Will would buy and hang up in his bedroom and to which he would look at when-
Good God she needed a distraction! A good one. Maybe she should go home. That was it. Go home, see Mother, see her beloved Father and maybe see a couple of her sisters- preferably Kitty and Mary.
Elizabeth got into the driver's seat and headed for home. This did not currently solve her problem of occupying her mind during the drive. She thought about Will, the article and her stupid behaviour constantly while she was driving. Well, at least it kept her awake.
It wasn't two hours later when Jane called Elizabeth back. She grabbed the phone and said, "Hello?" in anticipation.
"Liz?"
"Jane? Oh! I'm so glad you finally called me."
"Finally? How long ago did you call?"
"Two whole hours ago! Where have you been?"
"Grocery shopping. Elizabeth, are you okay?"
"NO! I'm not okay!!!" Elizabeth snapped exasperatedly. "Jane," she continued in a whine, "I just read the article about Darcy Inc. cleaning up their act in my Greenpeace magazine."
"That's terrific. I'm sure Will's stocks will go up now."
"You knew??"
"Of course, I knew, dearest. We've become close friends and what with Charles and I being engaged.... What kind of closed off world do you think I live in?"
Elizabeth was at a loss for what to say. Her own beloved sister knew all about this and never breathed a word. Only one word came to her mind. "Why?"
"Why, what?"
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Oh..." Jane started, vaguely. "I... didn't think you'd care."
Elizabeth banged her head on Cleo's wheel, causing the horn to honk each time. (Don't worry, gentle readers, she had pulled over.) "Jane! Do you realize how big a mug I've made myself in front of Will? I've outright accused him of being a horrible man as well as been rude to him every time I've seen him, almost all on account of the report you first told me about!"
"Oh yes! I remember now. That was ages ago!"
Elizabeth whimpered pitifully. She could publicly hang herself from mortification. "What will I do?" she moaned.
"Lizzy, I think you're being totally irrational," Jane said sharply. "Will knows you did not know anything about the clean up-"
"Why didn't anyone tell me about it?" Elizabeth interrupted. "Wasn't I there for enough dinners for it to become part of the dinner conversation? Why was I kept in the dark? Because I assume Colin knows all about it and Charles."
"Of course they knew. Colin helped him out and Charles... well, he's Will's best friend."
"So why wasn't I informed of it?"
"I think you would have to ask Colin. I was just told not to tell you about it, that's all."
"Why?"
"I told you, I don't know why!"
"Jane! What am I going to do?"
"You've already asked me that once and I told you you are making a bigger deal of it than necessary. You should be happy! You love the environment, remember? You wish all companies did what Darcy Inc. did, right?"
"Yes," Elizabeth moaned. "That just makes it all worse!"
"You're being silly, Elizabeth. I'm sorry I can't help you any more than this, but I really must run and put the ice cream in the freezer before it melts any more. Great talking to you. Call again soon. Bye." Jane hung up.
Elizabeth stared in disbelief at the phone and then flung it behind her onto the couch, and dropped her head onto Cleo's wheel once more, this time leaving it there with the horn protesting loudly to all who drove past.
Colin was more forthcoming. Elizabeth tried to sound less desperate when she talked to him on the phone later that night. "Colin! Hi! How are things going? How's your job? How's your love life? Are you still dating that blonde from the Bronx?" Her voice sounded weird in her ears- high pitched and forcedly happy.
"Elizabeth, your message sounded urgent on my machine, is anything the matter?"
"Me? Oh no! Everything's just peachy keen here in Georgia. Ha ha ha. Get it? Peachy keen in Georgia! Ha ha ha ha...ha......ha." Colin was not laughing.
"Are you okay, Liz?"
"Of course, I'm fine. In fact, I'm better than fine. I'm doing just great! How are you?"
"Fine. Why did you call, then?"
"Just to chat! Why else would I call you?" Elizabeth exclaimed, trying to sound hurt.
"Oh... I don't know. Maybe to talk about the article in Greenpeace."
Elizabeth was silent, her façade immediately dropped.
Colin, sounding rather smug, said, "Ah ha! That's what I thought."
"You're really mean, you know that Colin?"
Colin laughed. "I just love it when you're disconcerted."
"I am not disconcerted."
"Tell me what you want to know."
"Why didn't anyone tell me about this before? I mean, this has been going on for years! Why wasn't I informed of it?"
"I'm sorry. It must have completely slipped my mind!"
"Colin, please!" The desperate tone was back in her voice again. "Just tell me how this all got started in the first place! Did you put him up to it?"
Colin became more serious then. His cousin's reputation was still at stake with Elizabeth. It was his duty, therefore, to paint Will in the best light possible. Fortunately for Colin, who could not make up fibs and stories to save his life, all he had to do was tell the truth.
"The day you accused Will, he came home to me and I suggested he verify if this was true, as I, at least, knew you would not make something like this up. He called Greenpeace, talked to them, and made the deal with them that they would help him out while he allowed them to follow his actions. Will was truly very upset about the whole affair. He had had so much faith in his company being the cleanest in the industry that it hurt his pride a great deal when this happened. He was also deeply mortified and sorry for the families affected by the polluting. He visited them all personally and learned the best way to say sorry to a child who will forever have bone marrow problems and to a young woman who will never give birth to her own child. It was a very, very humbling experience, and I felt so awful for him when he would come home nearly in tears for the horrible things he had witnessed that day. Some families were gentle, seeing that Will wasn't the real bad guy, but then there were always the families who were so hurt by the polluting that they were blinded to Will's compassion, and just saw in him the figurehead of a company who had hurt their lives so irreparably. They were not nice at all. I can't blame them, though. Neither did Will. He took it like a man and did his very best to relieve suffering and repair damages. It helped when he was able to take a lot of his vengeance against some of the culprits, but they only got a slap on the wrist compared to what Will had to deal with. He took other hard hits. The stocks in the company plummeted after the article; he lost profit and I believe dipped into savings the last two years to make it by. I know you think that's silly since he still lived in his Central Park apartment and had his limo, but as CEO of such a company, he had to maintain at least the image of a successful company to help it out a little. I admit, I was not the best support for him through this ordeal. We got into an argument and didn't speak to each other for an extended period of time. In fact, until you first came home after Jane's move. Georgiana was some help, but she's away at school, and Charles was always the best, but Will felt like a third wheel with Jane as well. Over time, things improved. It'll still take time to get the place fully back to normal, and Greenpeace have said that it might never be normal again. But I'm so relieved that this is all over with. Will can have a welcome respite. Charles and Jane are getting married, Will and I are back to normal again, and hopefully things will be going well with the company soon."
Elizabeth's eyes were filled with tears. She had never felt so awful in her entire life. She might as well have hit Will upside the head with a fire iron!
"Liz? You still there?"
Elizabeth sniffed loudly and said, "Yes, I'm here. Why didn't anyone tell me, Colin? Why didn't you tell me?"
"I'm sorry, Elizabeth, I really am. But Will didn't want us to. I can only guess at his reasoning."
"I was so mean to him, Colin," she whispered, and blew her nose on a Kleenex.
"I don't think so, you always seemed civil."
"No, Colin, I was mean and cruel and heartless and totally b----y."
"If you say so. Although I think if you said sorry to Will now, it would mean a whole lot to him."
"I can't! I don't want to face him ever again. How will I hold my head up for shame?"
"You two are both absolutely incredible! You neither of you want to apologize to the other. Just do it, and I promise you will feel better."
"I'll think about it, Colin."
"No, stop thinking, and just do it."
"Maybe," Elizabeth said, noncommittally. "I have to go," she lied. "I'll talk to you later."
"Sure. Come back to New York, soon, won't you?"
"I'll see. Oh, and please don't tell Will you talked to me, will you?"
"Unless he asks me outright, good bye, Liz." Colin hung up.
Elizabeth hadn't even had the chance to say, not even if Will asked outright.
Life did not go so well after that. The candlelight provided briefly by Jane and Colin was not enough to let her find the map out of the darkness. She tried working some more, but seemed to have lost some of her enthusiasm and flare. So she decided she really would visit her family. It had been some years since she had seen them. She spoke to her father occasionally, but never to her mother. Mary was doing excellently in her college and would be graduating with a Master's degree in religious writings of the early 19th century very soon.
The visit was not all that special. Elizabeth was happy to see her father again; who looked like retirement was not agreeing with him as much as he had expected. Elizabeth rightly guessed that too much time spent with her mother was wearing him down. She wondered if he should think about a divorce. He was still young as men went in bachelorhood, and he might find a lot more enjoyment in life by being single than by being married to her mother.
Elizabeth never really liked her mother. She loved her, to be sure, as every daughter loves her mother, but she did not like her. They did not get along well; they had different principles, morals, and ethics, as well as different goals in life. Elizabeth was out to make herself successful, happy, and educated, not necessarily in that order, and her mother's goal was to have all her daughters married. She was well on her way to getting one daughter married, and this seemed only to make her more hungry for another engagement. The result was constant nagging about Elizabeth's looks, her occupation, her solitary lifestyle, her wardrobe, her posture, her way of talking to men, and her silly thirst for more education.
Elizabeth would find respite with her sister, Kitty. Kitty wasn't so bad as long as she wasn't around Lydia. Unfortunately, she was around Lydia an awful lot. The two of them prowled the malls draining their father's retirement pension, they neglected their studies, and they filled their heads with horrible trash read from magazines like YM and Seventeen. Elizabeth tried to start influencing at least Kitty in the right direction, but Lydia convinced Kitty to look upon Elizabeth as too wholesome and a goody-goody just trying to make her into a stiff-necked, up-chinned minister's wife. Elizabeth, not being able to cope with this opposition, resorted to talking with her father more and more frequently during her short stay.
Elizabeth's father had always held Elizabeth in the highest esteem. Mary was doing very well, but it was Elizabeth who seemed to have the most sensible and practical head on her shoulders. She had been supporting herself at 18 and had already been contributing to the family earlier than that. She was wise with her money and was becoming very successful. Elizabeth had a determination that always made her stand out from her other sisters. Even Mary could not surpass Elizabeth in that field. For Elizabeth had fewer advantages than Mary enjoyed later on. Elizabeth always made her own chances.
Mr. Bennet considered taking a page out of his daughter's book. Maybe he should strike out on his own and have some fun and some independence for a little while. He felt Lydia was a lost cause, Mary was nearly on her own, and Elizabeth and Jane were long gone from the nest. There was only Kitty who might benefit from his guidance. Elizabeth suggested he take Kitty to some places he found of interest, and try to persuade Kitty into more wholesome interests than boys and shopping. By the time Elizabeth left her family, her father was resolved not to sit back and waste the rest of his life.
After the visit, Elizabeth did feel better. She didn't feel any less lost herself, but she did feel like she had helped someone else find their way in the dark. Too bad she couldn't find her own exit.
Elizabeth lacked ideas about where to go after she left her family. She still did not feel the same drive she used to feel about photography. Did she need another vacation? It hadn't been that long since her last. And she usually took her vacations whenever she wanted or needed them. She had only just returned to work and she would need a new portfolio to turn into her company before long. How was she to find the inner peace she had used to have?
Elizabeth wracked her brain to find out how she was going to get back into her groove. She could try the usual methods of aroma therapy or professional help, but she was certain all of that would be useless. She could go to her favourite places and see if she could take pictures there. Or... she could find Will and talk to him and get it out of her system. Maybe she wouldn't even have to talk to him. He hadn't said sorry to her face, he had just sent her a thoughtful gift (which, coincidentally, still lived as a centerpiece on her table) and a short apology. Maybe if she did the same thing she could get back her inner peace and stability. But what would she send him? One of her photos framed? Nah, too egotistical. A flower? Nope; copycat and a little too girly. Cologne? Too personal. Food? Hmmm. That's an interesting idea. Maybe she could... bake something for him! Cookies? Cake? Fruit cake? Or maybe she should stick to buying him some candy and cookies and some wine. No, no wine. Suddenly, she had a brilliant idea. She could go visit Brighton, Washington and do a whole photo shoot on the now clean site! Elizabeth was amazed at her own ingenuity.
Deciding on this, (and maybe she could send the photos with the cookies) she set off across the continent towards Washington.
It took her many days to get there. When she arrived, she explored the town to find the most beautiful spots. She stayed for four weeks taking advantage of the different weather patterns to take various pictures. On the last week, she had the idea of taking pictures of the people of the town as happy citizens enjoying life. Her favourite one was the group of little girls playing in the river in their bathing suits. When she felt like she had purged her soul of her guilt, she started the journey to New York, but this time, taking opportunities to stop on the way and take pictures. She had better success on the way home, giving Elizabeth a minor sense of relief. She had heard of writers having writers' block, but didn't know if there was an equivalent for photographers.
Elizabeth reached New York, and surprised her sister by her sudden entrance. Charles was there, and looked as surprised as his fiancée.
"Good morning, Jane, Charles," she said, cheerily, giving them both a kiss on the cheek before she entered her dark room and shut the door.
Elizabeth opened her bag of finished films and sorted through them to find the ones taken in Brighton. She always kept a journal with detailed records of which picture she took at what location, date, and time. Then when she turned her portfolios into the company, they were labeled properly. Using this, she determined which films she should develop first. Someone knocked on the door.
"Lizzy?"
"Come in," she called.
Jane walked in. "Why are you home so suddenly? Why didn't you call and tell me?"
"Well, since it seems to be a habit for you guys to keep information from me, I thought you wouldn't mind if I arrived in my own home without informing anyone."
Jane looked hurt. "How long are you going to be mad at me for not telling you? Elizabeth, I had no choice to tell you. I could not betray Will."
"So you value Will's good opinion over my sanity?"
"Don't be ridiculous. Are you still overreacting about the whole Brighton thing? I thought you would be over it by now. I haven't talked to you since."
"I know. I am not over it. I am in the middle of it. Now, if you would be so kind as to leave my laboratory, I have a couple portfolios to put together."
Jane looked like she wanted to talk some more, but closed the door anyway. Elizabeth began to develop the films from Brighton. She worked for some hours before she came out for lunch. Charles had left and Jane was waiting with a sandwich made for her sister.
Elizabeth was not yet inclined to discuss with her older sister what she had been doing lately. She was too focused on the task ahead. She had to make this portfolio just perfect and send it to Will so she could have her peace of mind back.
Elizabeth returned to the dark room for several more hours, working until a headache from all the chemical fumes drove her out of the room, leaving the ventilation fan on high in the meantime.
The following day, word spread around that Elizabeth was home, and Colin paid her a visit after his work. Elizabeth was in no more of a mood to talk to Colin than she was to talk to Jane, but Colin was more forthright in asking her questions, so she soon divulged a few of her recent adventures. She did, however, keep quiet about her visit to Brighton and her current project. Colin did not stay long and left knowing little more than he did when he arrived.
Three days later, Elizabeth had finished developing all of the pictures she wanted. Then she began a search for the best format to present the photographs. She finally settled on buying a blank scrapbook and carefully matted and pasted the photographs into the scrapbook with a small handwritten inscription of what the picture was of. Some of the pictures were in a very artistic black and white, while most of them were in vivid colours. Buy the time she had finished the project, she was exhausted, but very, very proud of herself. It was one of the best works she had ever done.
For the last touch, she wrapped the scrapbook in silver paper, wrote a note on a pink post-it note, and put it on the front. It simply stated, I am sorry I am so blind. I have never felt so awful as when I read the article spelling out what an idiot I am. Forgive me? -Elizabeth
Elizabeth enclosed the precious book in bubble wrap and put it into a cardboard box to mail to Will's apartment. She walked to the nearest post office and relinquished all responsibility of the entire affair. As she walked home, Elizabeth felt so much more free and unfettered. She still had a little bit of guilt holding onto her, but she at least felt like she could concentrate on her work once more.
The seasons were changing and the weather was becoming colder and crisper. Winter would soon be upon New York. Elizabeth still had to work during the winter, for there were often beautiful scenes of untouched landscapes covered with pristine, white snow. Winter skies also produced unique cloud formations.
"Elizabeth, you will be here for Christmas, will you not?" asked Jane, one evening after Elizabeth had spent a day in the dark room.
Elizabeth looked up from the book she was reading. "I will try my very best to be here, yes. I cannot guarantee I won't be detained by some particularly bad weather. Oh, and I wanted to get out and take some pictures on Christmas Day, as well. I was thinking about visiting some of those charity soup kitchens and if I can, take some pictures of celebrations through some windows. If the conditions are just right, it should produce some very unique effects in a photograph."
Jane nodded, tuning out on the photo technical stuff. Jane wasn't always interested in the ins and outs of how Elizabeth thought through her ideas.
Will had had a horrible time since Elizabeth left. He was agonizing over what she said. She still thought him a horrible man because of what that Wickham had done years ago. But the article was going to be published very soon, he knew. After quite some deliberation, Will had decided not to tell her about the clean up himself. He was sure to make the situation worse. So he had kept silent and now she knew. He was unsure of how she felt about him now. ...Well... she sounded guilty, but that wasn't the effect he had quite desired. What did he want? He wanted her to instantly see what a wonderful guy he was and how he was changed since he had insulted her in such a horrible way. He wanted everything to be as it was before their argument.
Will looked at the note. He had been totally surprised when this package arrived. The return address was Jane's so he assumed it was something she was giving him for some reason. He had opened it and had been shocked at seeing the note from Elizabeth on the outside. He knew she had read the article, because he had asked Colin when he couldn't stand waiting any longer.
Will unwrapped the book and opened it. The title page said, "Restoration" by Elizabeth Bennet. He began to flip through the pages, reading the short inscriptions describing each shot. By the time he reached the end of the book, Will was in tears. This... gift was beyond any expectation he had ever had. Each photograph was poignant and beautiful, holding more than a thousand words within them.
Will closed the book and stared at the blank cover. It was a beautiful, green marble pattern. He picked up the note that had come with it. He read it again twice. She was asking him to forgive her. But he had asked first. So... if he asked and then she did, did that mean that she forgave him before asking his forgiveness? What should he do? Should he call her up and talk to her, or go over and see her? Will didn't feel up to doing either, so he just locked the book and the note safely away, and continued on with this work, but with extra thoughts now fresh on his mind, but there to stay an awful long time....
Elizabeth spent the fall and early winter traveling about collecting more photographs. Cleo was becoming older and older, and Elizabeth feared would soon collapse and not move another foot. Elizabeth did return to New York for one week to develop some of her films and produce her last portfolio of the year to the company. Jane reminded Elizabeth of her promise to return for Christmas and Elizabeth nodded once more, kissed her sister goodbye, and left New York once again.
This time she went north. She didn't go an hour away before she stopped to take some pictures on the coast. As it was growing late anyway, Elizabeth only drove another hour up the coast before stopping for the night.
The next morning, Elizabeth intended to continue north to Maine's coast. She felt uneasy about driving in the current weather conditions. During the night it had snowed a foot and the roads were treacherous and icy. On top of this, there was a light fog from the sea. Elizabeth made the decision to go ahead and start driving north. The sun would soon melt the snow on the roads anyway. She began driving, taking a state highway. She was not twenty-five minutes outside of the small coastal town before a semi truck passed her, going at least ten miles more than she was. Elizabeth shook her head in annoyance and a little worry at such recklessness.
Suddenly, the semi hit an icy patch and began to skid. Elizabeth instinctively slammed her foot on the brakes; consequently, the brakes locked and Cleo skid forward from her velocity and mass. The semi's back end swung towards Cleo from the other lane and Elizabeth, not knowing how to stop the collision, closed her eyes and braced herself. A split second later, the semi smashed forcefully into the middle of Cleo. The RV was pushed off the highway and rolled down the shallow embankment until it collided with the edge of the forest, and crashed one final time, to end up on her side, wheels still spinning and steam beginning to rise from the engine.
Elizabeth was unconscious for some while. She awoke to the sound of someone trying to get into Cleo from the passenger door, which was, strangely enough, above her. The face was blurred and hazy and sounds seemed to bombard her mercilessly. She was confused and hurting. Someone was talking to her. She looked up at the stranger. He was offering her a hand. What was she supposed to do with it? Shake it? She was too stiff to move. She wanted to go back to sleep. She closed her eyes again.
The next time she woke, she was strapped to a funny bed that moved on wheels. People above her were talking too much. She didn't want to start thinking just yet, so she closed her eyes.
The last time she woke up, she was in a white room, lying in a bed. A nurse came in and cheerily greeted her.
"Good morning, Miss Bennet, how are you feeling?"
"I'm fine, thank you."
"That's excellent!"
"Excuse me, could you tell me where I am?"
"You were in a nasty accident and are currently in the ----- Regional Hospital. Is there anything I can get you?"
Elizabeth was silent a while. She needed help. If she could remember correctly, Cleo would be totaled and she needed someone to come pick her up to take her home. She needed to call Jane.
"Could you bring me a phone, please?"
"Certainly."
Elizabeth tried calling Jane, but only got the dratted answering machine. She tried Charles' place, expecting someone to be there. No one was there, either. She tried Jane's cell phone. Now Elizabeth began to feel worried, and a bit of the shock was wearing off, leaving turbulent emotions behind. She dialed the last number she knew would help her, Colin's apartment.
The phone rang and rang and rang. Elizabeth almost hung up when she heard, "Hello?"
"Colin! Thank God I found you!" Elizabeth exclaimed.
"Actually, this is Will. Is this Elizabeth?"
Elizabeth tried to be calm and brave and cool, but there was not a shred of chance that this was going to happen. She broke down and started to sob uncontrollably. Will, poor dear, was beside himself with worry, confusion, and wonder, besides a little self-consciousness. Why did she burst into tears when she learnt it was him?
"Elizabeth, calm down, what is the matter?"
It took Elizabeth quite some time before she could speak intelligibly, and even then, her breaths would come in quick, uncontrollable gasps followed by an occasional hiccup.
"I- I need C-Colin."
"I'm sorry, Elizabeth, he's not here. He went out of town on a two-day business trip. I was just in here checking his apartment for a few minutes. Is there anything wrong?"
"Do you kn-now where J-Jane is?"
"No, I'm sorry, I don't. Elizabeth, can I help you with something?"
"I've been in an a-accident and I n-need h-h-help." (SNIFF)
"Where are you?"
"Kent, a c-couple of hours along the c-coast." (hiccup) "I'm in the ----- Regional Hospital."
"Can you wait until I come to pick you up?"
"You don't h-have (sniff) to come up here. Just find Jane and tell her."
Will ignored this and said, "I'll be there as fast as I can. Hold on." He hung up and Elizabeth buried her head in her pillow and tried to drown her woes in sleep. It didn't work, and she was left to brood over the impending meeting with Will.
Two and a half hours later, Will walked into her room. To the consternation of both, Elizabeth started to cry again. She covered her face with an apology and tried to regain her composure. Will stood awkwardly at the door. He closed it behind him and remained there indecisively. Finally, he decided he couldn't stand it anymore and moved over to the bed and took her in his arms.
Elizabeth was more than stunned at this action, but gratefully accepted the support. They remained several minutes in this pose, with Will soothingly stroking her back. When Elizabeth had stopped crying, she pulled away and sniffed. Will handed her his handkerchief and she accepted it thankfully.
Finally, Elizabeth was composed enough to say, "I'm so sorry, Will, I have never been in such a state before."
"Well I'm sure you've never been in such an accident before, either. Don't apologize."
Elizabeth wondered if that had a double meaning. "You didn't have to come out here, you know."
"I know."
There was a long, awkward silence. Then Elizabeth said, "Don't you want to know what happened?"
"I'll listen when you're ready to tell me."
Elizabeth gave a short laugh. "I'm not as traumatized as it may seem, Will. I'm okay, really."
Will raised an eyebrow. She certainly did not look okay. There were several cuts on her face and a bruise on one cheekbone. There were probably other injuries to the rest of her body. The hospital staff had informed him that she had sustained no major injuries, luckily. On top of this, her eyes were red from crying and her hair was in a wild, curly mess. She had a rather pitiful look about her, which paradoxically made her look fragile and attractive.
Elizabeth began to tell Will about the accident. She couldn't tell him much, as it had all seemed to go so fast and then she was unconscious for the rest. "Cleo is totaled. Somehow, I need to fetch everything from inside her and get it home or store it somehow."
Will asked, "When will you be able to leave the hospital?"
"Now, I think. I don't see why I should remain any longer. I've already talked to the police and called my insurance company."
"I'll go and see about getting you released."
He left and Elizabeth thought to her dismay that he was perfectly nice and sweet. This made her own behaviour to him seem all the more worse.
He came back and she was allowed to get dressed in her laundered clothes from the accident. Elizabeth was loathe to wear them again, for she could not help but think that the last time she wore these she was in Cleo, but she had no other option. Together, they left the hospital after signing the paperwork.
It was still freezing outside and Will realized Elizabeth didn't have any outer clothing. He took his coat off and put it over her shoulders. She looked up with surprise and gratefulness in her face. The coat dwarfed her shrunken figure and her pale face gazed up so endearingly at him. Will turned and hurriedly walked towards his car.
Elizabeth got in Will's car and asked, "Where are we going?"
"We're going to get a couple of rooms at a bed and breakfast I saw open on the way here. Then we can solve the problem of getting your stuff from Cleo."
"I need to call Jane as soon as possible and tell her what has happened and where we are. Do you really not know where she is?"
"I'm sorry, I don't know." After a few minutes of thought, Will asked Elizabeth, "You're not going to faint on me are you?"
"No," she laughed. "Why would you ask that?"
"Last time I took someone home from the hospital they fainted and I had to take them back."
"Who was that?"
"Georgiana."
"Oh dear. No, I've only fainted three times in my life. The last two were because I was sick in my stomach. My first time was when I was a little girl in elementary school. It was right before we ran the mile in physical education class. I was dared to turn my face red. So I held my breath and pressured the blood to my head. I had done it many times before, but that time, I guess my pride let me push it too far, and the next thing I knew, I was laying down on the wet grass. My classmates didn't believe I had really fainted. And when I told my teacher, he still made me run the mile!"
"You poor thing," Will said, unsympathetically. "Just don't try any of those tricks while you're in my charge, will you?"
"I haven't done it for years."
Will pulled up to a large Victorian house with a sign outside saying, The Green Tree Bed and Breakfast. He parked and Elizabeth opened the door to get out. She put her foot on the snow outside but felt a sharp pang of pain in her hip. She cried out. Will hurried over to her door, and asked, "Are you all right?"
"I'm fine," she gasped. She took Will's offered hand and slowly stood up, feeling no further pain.
Will closed the door and followed Elizabeth into the B&B. They rented two adjacent rooms and Elizabeth found the bed too inviting to resist. She crawled into it and was soon fast asleep.
Will woke her up when he knocked on her door. "Come in."
Will entered to find Elizabeth deep under the covers. "I'm sorry. I didn't know you where asleep."
"Don't go. What is it you wanted?"
"I wanted to ask you where Cleo is right now?"
"The police told me she is at the mechanic's shop on Devon Close off of Main Street."
"I'll go there now and try and salvage some of your necessities for now."
"I'll come with you."
"No, you stay here and get some rest."
"Will, I'm fine. Really."
"Elizabeth, do you really want to see Cleo in her present state, or do you want your last memory of her to be a good one?"
Elizabeth looked down, knowing he was right. She should not go with him. Without looking up, she said, "Thank you, Will."
"Stay here and keep warm. I'll have the lady downstairs bring you some hot chocolate if I can."
Will left and ten minutes later the owner of the B&B came up with a tray of hot chocolate and cookies. Elizabeth thought about Will and decided they had to have a talk and clear the air between them. Right now, she felt like she wanted to earn his friendship again. Ever since she saw him after their argument, he seemed more nice and pleasant than when he had spent a whole month with her and Cleo. Cleo...Elizabeth grew sad. Cleo was gone, and if she were to continue traveling all over the continent, she would have to buy a new RV. She had the money, but she wasn't sure she wanted to continue what she had been doing for the last eight years. She started to consider traveling around the world for a magazine, maybe even National Geographic. But they would want more of an education than she had. Just a popular image was not going to get her the job she desired. She would have a while to think about it. Either way, she had a contract to fulfill until the first of July the next year. Maybe she could hitchhike across the countryside.
Will drove to the mechanic's shop that held Cleo. As he drove up, he saw the wrecked RV waiting to be taken apart for her good parts and sent to the dump. She did look a sad sight. The side where the semi had hit her was dented inwards severely and the windows were smashed.
Will talked to the mechanic on duty and was given permission to go inside and get Elizabeth's things. He drove his car next to Cleo and entered through the passenger door. Glass was all over the floor and the sofa was destroyed beyond recognition. He gazed at the driver's seat for a long while. The semi's end had nearly hit her door, which surely would have killed her. She was very fortunate to have come out of the accident with so few injuries. He'd been that close to losing her. What would he have done if she had died? Will shuddered to think about it. He turned himself to the task of scavenging through the wreck and salvaging whatever he could.
The first thing he did was to locate her camera, her bag of films and her journal. He knew those were the most important things in there. Her camera had been safe inside its case. He carefully put everything he found in his car. He slowly worked his way back, picking up things and taking stuff out of the cupboards and compartments. Finally, he made it to her bedroom. He emptied the closet and drawers, trying his best not to be affected by moving her undergarments to the car. Will took the safe out of its place intact and put it in his trunk. Lastly, he went through and took the pictures off the wall and the curtains off the windows. He took out everything he thought she could use and want.
To check he was not missing anything, he pulled up the sofa cushions, dusting off the glass. This was where he had slept, he remembered. He still thought of his month in Cleo often. There was a film wedged in a crack of the sofa. It looked used and he knew Elizabeth would want it. The accident had made the film accessible. He took his keys and pried it out of its place. He put it in his pocket, and took one last look around. Deciding he was finished, he talked to the mechanic about taking Cleo to the dump. He gave Darcy Inc.'s address for the billing address. The last thing Will did before leaving, was take the license plate off of Cleo.
Elizabeth went into the bathroom to relieve herself. When she washed her hands and looked in the mirror, she was horrified at her reflection. There were cuts on her face and a green and purple bruise on her cheekbone. She touched it tenderly and winced. She looked absolutely awful. Her hair was in a wild tangle and her clothes were wrinkled and torn in places.
Elizabeth was acutely embarrassed about Will seeing her in such a state. Indeed, Will was seeing her in increasingly vulnerable conditions. Elizabeth looked at herself again. She wished she could clean herself up a little, but she had nothing to do it with. No toiletries, no brush and no more clothes. Elizabeth left the bathroom in despair. She had never been vain, but she did endeavor to look respectable when in civilization. And especially around Will. For some annoying, stupid reason, Elizabeth had always cared about preserving his good opinion. It was almost as if she wanted to flaunt what he had given up. Elizabeth became angry at herself for thinking this way. He was better at flaunting what she had given up than she was. He was rich, incredibly handsome, and now he was turning out to be a nice, charming guy.
Elizabeth crawled miserably under the covers again. She remembered her resolution to call Jane and reached for the phone. It was too far away. Elizabeth apathetically let her hand flop. She lazily closed her eyes and snuggled deeper under the covers. It wasn't two minutes later before she was fast asleep.
Elizabeth woke up to the knocking on the door. She looked at the clock. It said nine AM. Goodness! Had she really slept that long? Another knock came at the door. Elizabeth guessed it would be Will but was conscious of her appearance, which would be even worse after a night's sleep. She had no choice, however, but to say, "Come in."
Will entered carrying a small duffel bag. "How are you feeling this morning?"
Elizabeth groaned and buried her face in the pillow. "Decidedly ugly," came her muffled reply.
Will smiled a little. "Ah, so you've taken a look in the mirror, have you?"
Elizabeth groaned again. "Go away, Will, please!"
"All right," he acquiesced. "But here are some clothes and some other things you might need to freshen up." He left the bag by the bathroom door and said as he left her room, "Come and get me when you're up."
Elizabeth sat back up after the door was shut. She didn't want to stay in the pillows too long, or she would nod off to sleep again. Elizabeth got up and hurried to the bathroom through the cold. She grabbed the bag and closed the bathroom door. She turned on the hot water in the shower and waited for it to heat up. Meanwhile, she emptied the bag onto the floor. Her toiletries were all there and so was a whole outfit he had picked out for her to wear. Hmm, he had good taste. Elizabeth turned a bit scarlet when she discovered he had also added some undergarments. But Will truly had been very thoughtful.
It was not half an hour before Elizabeth came out of the bathroom, warmly dressed and feeling much, much better. Her hair was still damp but at least the curls were under control. Her face still didn't look too good with all of the scrapes and the bruise, but she preferred that to covering it up with makeup and looking like a plastic doll.
Elizabeth walked out of her room and knocked on Will's door. "Come in," he called. She entered to find a room similar to hers. Will sat at a desk beside the window, working on a laptop computer which appeared to be online.
He stood up and looked her over. Elizabeth squirmed under his steady gaze. "How are you feeling now?"
"Much better," she admitted with a smile. "Thank you ever so much for all you've done."
"It's nothing," he said, modestly. "Are you hungry?"
"I'm ravenous!"
"Good, because we'll miss breakfast if we don't hurry."
Will turned to his computer to disconnect and shut down. Elizabeth felt bad that she was keeping Will from his work. She still didn't quite know why he was doing all this for her. Why was he being so nice? Did he just want to be friends again? Or was he doing this because she was so close to Charles and Colin?
"Will?"
He looked up from the laptop as he shut it. "What?"
"Thank you." Elizabeth walked over and gave him a hug. Surprised, Will returned the embrace, but was careful not to take it any further. Elizabeth, too, was surprised she had been so forward. What had possessed her? Her mind started to go fuzzy. Her vision began to blur. In a daze she murmured, "Will, I'm blacking out."
Elizabeth didn't know how long she was out, not too many minutes, but when her mind regained order and her vision cleared, she said, stunned, "I think I just blacked out!" She was leaning on Will heavily. Will supported her with his hands wrapped around her, her head tucked on his shoulder.
Will replied caustically, "Yes, you did. Do you want to lie down?"
Elizabeth stood up straight, testing herself. She felt a little woozy, but otherwise fine. "No, I'm okay. Maybe I just need to eat something."
"Yes, that must be it." He sounded dubious. "You're sure you're okay?"
"Yes."
Will stepped back from her, still ready to catch her if she toppled. Elizabeth laughed hesitantly. "Sorry. I know I said I never faint, but truly, I don't know why it came upon me. It's not like I had suddenly stood up."
They walked downstairs and ate a breakfast of pancakes, sausages, hash browns and fresh fruit. Elizabeth was so hungry she finished off her plate. Only after she had did she think about what this might look like to Will. So she said, "I don't usually eat this much, you know."
Will smiled slightly at her embarrassment. "I know. Naturally, you would feel hungry after being in an accident and going into the hospital and then sleeping."
"Come to think of it, I haven't eaten since breakfast yesterday, before the accident. I declined the hospital food. I've heard too many infamous stories about that stuff to eat it."
"Quite right," he agreed.
There was a pause. Then Elizabeth asked, "What are we going to do today?"
"I've emptied your things from Cleo. I don't think I've missed anything. I think you'd still be able to go see Cleo if you want to, but I have arranged for her to be properly taken care of."
Elizabeth knew what he meant. She had no desire to see Cleo in a smashed up state. "So we can go home?"
"Yes, we can go home if you want."
"Why wouldn't I? I feel horrible as it is for keeping you from your work."
"It's fine, don't worry about me." There was another break in the conversation. "What are you going to do now?"
"I don't know. I think I've had enough of that kind of wandering life."
"You mean you're going to settle down?"
"Not necessarily. I might go to college, if I could get a decent job at a magazine I would travel around the world taking photographs. It just depends. I don't know what the future holds for me."
"I feel quite envious of you. I am decidedly grounded to New York."
"When was the last time you left the city?"
"When I went to Brighton. Then before that, the last time I had left was when I spent a month with you. So you can see I don't get out much."
"I don't see why. You have the resources to go almost anywhere you want."
"But not the companionship. What's the fun in climbing the temples in Mexico or sailing down the river Nile if you don't have someone to share the experience with?"
"I beg to differ. You must recall how much I am alone."
"We are different. I don't understand how you can be alone so much."
"I do yearn for companionship sometimes. I should have got myself a pet monkey or a parrot to keep my company."
"You probably would have lost it."
"Yes," Elizabeth replied, laughing. "I suppose you're right. It's illegal to own a monkey anyway."
"Are you finished?"
"Yes."
"Let's get on the road and get you home."
Elizabeth collected her few belongings and met Will in his room as he packed up his things. "Do you know where my wallet is?"
Will stopped and looked at her. "Um, somewhere in the bottom of my trunk. Sorry, I didn't think about you needing it. But don't worry, I'll take care of everything."
Elizabeth let him do so only because she promised herself she would pay him back in full. They checked out of the bed and breakfast and walked to the car.
"Do you want me to drive?" asked Elizabeth.
"No, why?"
Elizabeth got in and said, "Well, I just don't think I recall ever hearing of or seeing you drive since you spent the month with me in Cleo."
"Well... I still drive when the need arises. Besides, I wouldn't have thought you would want to drive so soon after your accident."
"I wouldn't have liked it, but I think I could do it."
"I'm okay to drive unless you get uncomfortable with my driving."
Elizabeth smiled. "Don't worry. I'll tell you the first moment I feel uncomfortable."
They began the long drive home. After a long silence, Elizabeth observed, "I never called Jane."
"Does she have any reason to worry?"
"No, I didn't leave a message when I tried to call her yesterday, and she is accustomed to long periods of no communication with me."
"Well, as long as she isn't worrying, I don't think you need to call."
Elizabeth agreed and silence resumed. Both of them wanted to bring up the subject of their argument and the long break between them, but neither had the guts to do so.
They listened to music and NPR for an hour before Will finally decided to bite the bullet. He would be a fool to let this opportunity to have this talk with her during the drive home pass him by.
"Elizabeth," he started. "Do... do you... have you forgiven me now? I dearly regret being such a stupid jerk to you and can offer no excuse. But I would like to start anew with you."
Elizabeth gave a shaky laugh. "I think I can forgive you if you forgive me for being such a cruel witch to you even after you had apologized so nicely."
"I don't need to forgive you. You were perfectly justified in thinking I had not changed."
"But you had."
"But you didn't know that."
"Then why didn't you tell me what you were doing in Brighton?"
"Because I wanted it to be more complete before you knew. Besides, letting you discover it in a Greenpeace magazine seemed to me to hold more conviction, validity and force for you. It was more effective that way than me, in a way, trying to win your good favour by bragging about what great deeds I was doing. Do you get my drift?"
Elizabeth sighed. "Sure. I guess I can understand a little."
There was a small pause. Will said, quietly, "The book you sent me was the most beautiful gift I have ever received in my life."
Elizabeth squirmed uncomfortably at such a compliment. She enjoyed it, to be sure, but she felt awkward being in such a position. "I wanted to convey how impressed I was... my gratitude... my awe... my apology...."
"It worked," Will said, with a short laugh.
"Good. I certainly worked hard and long enough for it to."
"Really?"
"What? Did you think I walked out to Barnes and Noble and bought it? Of course it took a lot of work to make."
"I'm flattered."
"You should be," Elizabeth responded with good humor.
There was another small pause. Finally Will said, "So... we forgive each and start over?"
"Yes, I think so, don't you?"
"Yes."
"So it's settled then. Shake on it."
Will and Elizabeth shook hands and then Elizabeth quipped, "Now put both hands back on the wheel. You're making me nervous." After a glare from Will, Elizabeth observed, "Won't Colin be pleased with us?"
"You have no idea the lectures I've received from him...."
"Actually, I was on the receiving end of a few myself after I read the article."
"I can imagine. But still, he had good motives at heart."
"True. Still, I'm not going to let him off so easily. We needed to sort things out on our own. It wasn't going to happen with his interference, even though it was kindly meant."
"Are you going to tell him that?"
"Of course not. It would damage his fragile ego too much," she replied, sarcastically.
"Couldn't agree more."
The silence that ensued was more companionable than they had ever had before. It was unembarrassed and lacking the usual awkwardness of nothing to say to a person one didn't particularly want to talk to in the first place.
Then Elizabeth said, "Well! If we're on friendly terms then I have a lot of catching up to do."
"Catching up?"
"I never told you that I think your apartment is very nice- quite to my surprise. I never told you what I thought about your political views. Oh, there's tons of things I never said because I was mad at you."
Will didn't know whether to laugh or be angry. He decided the former. Their conversation the rest of the way home was amiable and wittier than Will was used to. He enjoyed himself immensely and rather regretted pulling up to her apartment so soon.
Will walked with Elizabeth up to her apartment. She knocked on the door for several minutes before finally deciding that Jane was not home and she would need her keys to get in. So they went back down to Will's car and began to empty out the trunk. Elizabeth became more embarrassed at the sight of how much Will cleaned out of Cleo. Eventually, they found her keys inside a flower vase.
"Why did you put them there?" asked Elizabeth.
"Probably because my hands were full and that was the easiest place to put them."
Elizabeth took an armload of stuff as she went to open her apartment. Together, they emptied all of her belongings out of Will's car into Elizabeth's apartment. Elizabeth offered Will a cup of hot chocolate, tea or coffee, but Will declined.
"I really should get back to my office. I didn't give them any warning of my precipitous departure."
"I don't know how I can thank you enough for helping me out."
"I'm glad I was there for you. Here's my cell phone number. Call me if you have any more problems."
"You mean like fainting?"
"Yes, like fainting."
"I promise I will. Thanks again, Will."
"Rest up and get well."
They said goodbye, and Will left her apartment. When he had shut the door, Elizabeth sat down on the sofa and just sat there, stunned, for several minutes.
A knock came at the door. Elizabeth answered it and found Will standing there. "Sorry," he said. "I just found this in my pocket and thought you would want it."
"Thanks. Where was it?"
"It had been wedged in the couch somehow, and the accident allowed me to reach it."
"Wow. A mystery film. I wonder what's on it. Thanks."
"You're welcome. Bye."
Elizabeth closed the door, looking at the film. It wasn't that old considering it was good film, which she had only been able to afford in the last six years. She put it to the side and sat back down on the sofa. She got to thinking: the last time she had been in this apartment, she had had Cleo, she had not been on speaking terms with Will, she had had some sort of a steady livelihood. But now, she was not sure how she was going to earn her money.
When energy returned to her, Elizabeth began to find temporary homes for all the things that came out of Cleo. Most of it went in her room. With the apartment looking clean again, Elizabeth decided to crawl into the bed and rest a while until Jane came home. She hadn't even turned out the lamp before she was fast asleep.