Jump to new as of May 19, 2000

Chapter 1

Author's note: This is a "What if?" story. It takes place right in the middle of Chapter 32 (or Volume 3, Chapter 1 according to mine) in Mansfield Park. Most of the beginning comes straight from the book. Sir Thomas has just been trying to figure out why Fanny would refuse Mr. Crawford's proposal. This story begins where he finally becomes angry with her... And I guess I had better shut up now and let y'all read!

Sir Thomas came towards the table where she sat in trembling wretchedness, and with a good deal of cold sterness, said, "It is of no use, I perceive, to talk to you. We had better put an end to this most mortifying conference. Mr. Crawford must not be kept longer waiting. I will, therefore, only add, as thinking it my duty to mark my opinion of your conduct, that you have disappointed every expectation I had formed, and proved yourself of a character the very reverse of what I had supposed. For I had, Fanny, as I think my behavior must have shown, formed a very favorable opinion of you from the period of my return to England. I had thought you peculiarly free from willfulness of temper, self-conceit, and every tendency to that independence of spirit which prevails so much in modern days, even in young women, and which in young women is offensive and disgusting beyond all common offense. But you have now shown me that you can be willful and perverse; that you can and will decide for yourself, without any consideration or deference for those who have surely some right to guide you, without even asking their advice. You have shown yourself very, very different from anything that I had imagined. The advantage or disadvantage of your family, of your parents, your brothers and sisters, never seems to have had a moment's share in your thoughts on this occasion. How they might be benefited, how they must rejoice in such an establishment for you, is nothing to you. You think only of yourself, and because you do not feel for Mr. Crawford exactly what a young heated fancy imagines to be necessary for happiness, you resolve to refuse him at once, without wishing even for a little time to consider of it, a little more time for cool consideration, and for really examining your own inclinations; and are, in a wild fit of folly, throwing away from you such an opportunity of being settled in life, eligibly, honorably, nobly settled, as will, probably, never occur to you again. Here is a young man of sense, of character, of temper, of manners, and of fortune, exceedingly attached to you, and seeking your hand in the most handsome and disinterested way; and let me tell you, Fanny, that you may live eighteen years longer in the world without being addressed by a man of half Mr. Crawford's estate, or a tenth part of his merits. Gladly would I have bestowed either of my own daughters on him. Maria is nobly married; but had Mr. Crawford sought Julia's hand, I should have given it to him with superior and more heartfelt satisfaction than I gave Maria's to Mr. Rushworth." After half a moment's pause: "And I should have been very much surprised had either of my daughters, on receiving a proposal of marriage at any time which might carry with it only half the eligibility of this, immediately and peremptorily, and without paying my opinion or my regard the compliment of any consultation, put a decided negative on it. I should have been much surprised and much hurt by such a proceeding. I should have thought it a gross violation of duty and respect. You are not to be judged by the same rule. You do not owe me the duty of a child. But, Fanny, if your heart can acquit you of ingratitude--"

He ceased. Fanny was by this time crying so bitterly, that angry as he was, he would not press that article farther. Her heart was now almost broke by his representation of her. She could not but acknowledge the benefit to her family, her obligation towards Mr. Crawford and more importantly, Sir Thomas. Was she right in refusing Mr. Crawford when she owed so much to those closest to her? Her spirit sunk under these arguments, for she knew now what she must do. Still unequal to encounter her uncle's gaze, Fanny said softly, "I am sorry, Uncle. I did not completely think this through until now." She took a deep breath and said, "I will marry Mr. Crawford."

Several minutes of silence met her declaration, while her uncle contemplated her. Finally he spoke. "You are not saying this just to please me? You truly accept his proposals?" When Fanny nodded silently, he said, "You are a good girl, Fanny. I am glad you see things my way." After examining his watch, he added, "I must return downstairs to Mr. Crawford. Take a quarter of an hour to dry your tears and freshen up, then come down to us. I expect he is anxiously awaiting your answer-do not keep him in suspense." Sir Thomas patted her on the shoulder and then quitted the room.

Fanny's distress returned as her uncle's footsteps faded away. She began to pace the room in agitation, for she now began to doubt her reasons for accepting Mr. Crawford. Was she sacrificing her principles for worldly gain? Surely she could have argued more on those grounds! No, it would not have done much good. How could it after Sir Thomas gave away his eldest daughter to a man she despised? This was all fruitless worrying now. Fanny had given Sir Thomas her word that she would marry Mr. Crawford. She shuddered at the thought of her uncle's anger, if she changed her mind now.

The fifteen minutes passed much too quickly for Fanny. Not long after leaving the safety of the East Room, she found herself in front of her uncle's door. At her gentle knock, Sir Thomas bade her to come in. She entered the room with trepidation and met her uncle and Mr. Crawford inside.

"Ah!" Sir Thomas cried, "Here is Fanny!" He took her hand and led her to a chair. "I imagine you to have much to discuss," he said, "I will leave you alone."

As soon as the door shut, Crawford approached and knelt in front of her. "Miss Price, as I told you yesterday, I have come to love you like no other. It is you I think of every waking moment and dream of every night. Your gentleness and goodness have captured my heart. I know that your natural modesty prevented you from accepting my previous proposal and I apologize for my impatience. I should have waited for a better time-I did not mean to embarrass you. But I hope I shall be more successful this time. Dearest Fanny, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

The moment Fanny had been dreading was at hand. She was standing at a crossroad but the paths ahead were obscured. She either would face her uncle's wrath or marry an unprincipled man whom she did not like, but choose she must. She closed her eyes and prayed that she would make the right decision. "Yes, I will marry you," she whispered.

Chapter 2

The joy Henry felt upon hearing Fanny's acceptance can scarcely be imagined. He saw all his plans for domestic felicity fall in to place. With such a wife as Fanny, he must be happy. That she had not declared that she loved him was hardly noticed. He believed that though her natural shyness prevented her from saying so, he could not doubt that she loved him. And even if she did not, he knew he had an entire lifetime ahead to convince her otherwise. Seizing her hand, he placed an ardent kiss upon it and said, "Darling Fanny, I am the happiest man in the world! You have answered my dearest hopes and I shall never give you cause for regretting our marriage. But come, we must find Sir Thomas and inform him of our wonderful news!"

And what were Fanny's thoughts during this time? She was in agony. All ready, she was regretting her decision and cursing her weakness. Yet Mr. Crawford confused her. She had never given much credit to his attachment to her. She always believed it to be fleeting and insincere but the expression on his face and the warmth of his words now obliged her to reconsider. These were the thoughts that occupied her as they searched for her uncle. A servant informed them where Sir Thomas was to be found. They were headed in that direction when a voice caused them to halt.

"Fanny!" Mrs. Norris cried, "Fanny, where are you going? Why are you dawdling about? I am sure Mr. Crawford has better things to do! I need you to walk over to my house. I left my workbasket there by accident and would like to have it for tonight. I would do it myself but Lady Bertram wants her shawl and I have yet to find it. Now you and get your bonnet and shawl while I write the note!"

Fanny turned to comply with her aunt's orders but Henry prevented her. "With all due respect Madam," he said to Mrs. Norris, "Surely a servant would do just as well."

"Sir, I can assure you that Fanny will do very well! Why should I trouble the servants when she is available? And it is not only this but she owes it to those that have provided her upbringing these many years! Now hurry Fanny!"

Henry again prevented Fanny from leaving. She was about to ask him to release her but the words died on her lips when she saw the black look upon his face. "I must insist that you find a replacement, Mrs. Norris," he said in a firm voice.

"Sir, I protest! Who are you-" Mrs. Norris began.

At that moment Sir Thomas appeared at the end of the hall. "What is going on here?" he asked in his most dignified manner. "What is all this shouting about?"

"Oh Sir Thomas!" said Mrs. Norris, "I asked Fanny to fetch my workbasket from my house and she will not do it! Obstinate girl!"

Sir Thomas merely looked at his niece inquisitively. "Fanny?"

"Sir, I-" the young lady began speaking.

"I must confess, it was I who prevented her from going, sir," Crawford interrupted. "I believe someone better suited to the task would be more appropriate than my fiancée."

Mrs. Norris started at Crawford's announcement and stared at the couple in astonishment. Sir Thomas smiled and said, "Wonderful! I congratulate you both and give you my warmest blessings." To Mrs. Norris, "I believe it would be best if you sent someone else." Turning again to Fanny and Mr. Crawford, he said, "I believe I shall delay the general announcement until tonight. I am sure that the Grants and Miss Crawford would like to be present. Therefore, I extend and invitation to you and to them for dinner."

Crawford's face shone with gratitude. "Thank you, sir! I shall go over to the Parsonage immediately and inform my sisters and Dr. Grant. Perhaps Miss Price would accompany me?"

Perceiving that Fanny appeared to be fatigued, Sir Thomas denied the request with a "I believe Fanny is worn out from all the excitement. I suggest dear, that you rest a while before dinner. There will be more opportunities for talking this evening."

Fanny complied with this suggestion readily as she needed some time alone to think. This morning's events had tired her for it had tried every ounce of forbearance she possessed. It irritated her that Sir Thomas and Mr. Crawford chose to talk about her as if she were invisible. Why could she not speak for herself? When she reached the East Room, she found a fire burning inside. Tears of gratitude welled up in her eyes. This example of her uncle's kindness made her ashamed of her uncharitable thoughts towards him. Yet to support this marriage for such mercenary reasons! Oh, if only everything were not so confusing! Her feelings towards Mr. Crawford grew every moment more chaotic. She was thankful for his help with Mrs. Norris and in spite of herself, liked him the more for it. Previously, it was only Edmund who would support her. Yet like William's promotion, it was gratitude towards such a man that she would rather not own. Of one thing, she was certain. Ever since the moment of accepting Mr. Crawford, her life had spiraled out of control.

Chapter 3

That evening's dinner seem to last an eternity for Fanny. Talk of wedding preparations and everyone's delight in the match dominated most of the discussion. Fanny exerted herself to appear delighted lest someone should suspect her true state of mind. Even so, the others noticed a want of spirits in her and she received many anxious inquiries about her health. She pleaded fatigue and all appeared to be satisfied with that answer.

Not everyone in the party was animated and gay. Mrs. Norris sat through the entire evening in an uncharacteristic silence. Some had tried to draw her into the general conversation but she rebuffed every attempt. She was angry-exceedingly angry. She was sure that Fanny had trapped Mr. Crawford into proposing somehow. It should have been Julia receiving his offer of marriage, not that scheming, grasping, dependent! For once, good sense ruled Mrs. Norris. Though angry, she refrained from expressing it verbally as Sir Thomas and Lady Bertram wholeheartedly approved the match. That did not prevent her from occasionally glaring at Fanny.

Later in the drawing room, Miss Crawford managed to have a private chat with Fanny. "My dear Fanny!" she cried. "How wonderful that sounds! I am glad I may now address you as such. But now that I have got you alone, you must satisfy my curiosity about something. Why did you refuse Henry the first time he proposed?"

Fanny's cheeks flushed as she tried to think of a plausible explanation other than the truth. "Miss Crawford-"

"Mary!" the lady interrupted. "You must call me Mary as we are to be sisters!"

"Mary, I-I cannot give you a satisfactory explanation other than he took me wholly by surprise. One moment he was telling me of William's promotion and the next, he proposed." Fanny could speak no more, as a further explanation would require a falsehood, which she was unequal to utter. She feared she would betray her unhappiness and the questions that would surely follow. Fanny was determined that no one should ever know of her love for Edmund, especially now that she would be forever divided from him.

Fanny need not have worried, as Miss Crawford seemed willing to accept her reasoning. "It is no wonder then! Your feelings as a sister, of course, would have overshadowed any other happiness you may have felt. Poor Henry! He should have asked for your hand first then told you of your brother's promotion. He might have spared himself the trouble of a second proposal for he would have been sure of your acceptance before the first raptures of joy overcame you!"

"Hmmm? Oh... Yes, quite!" Fanny replied distractedly. She had not listened to Miss Crawford as thoughts of Edmund occupied her thoughts. Embarrassed at being inattentive, a fine blush spread over Fanny's cheeks.

Mary noticed Fanny's confusion and relented in her teasing. "I hear your cousin Edmund is to return in two days. Imagine his surprise when he learns of the great news! I am glad that I shall have the chance to see him before I go to London." She sighed. "I wish I had settled with Mrs. Fraser not to go to her till after Easter, a much better time to visit-but now I cannot put her off. To be gone from Mansfield at such a time! I shall miss you all-if only you could go to London!"

Sir Thomas, who happened to be near at that moment, overheard her comment and said, "We are all sad to hear that you are to leave us, Miss Crawford. You will return for the wedding?"

"Oh yes!" the lady cried. "I would not miss it for the world! I only do not like to part with my dearest friends."

"I do not see why you should, at least for a time," Sir Thomas replied. "Fanny must have some wedding clothes and what better place to find them but in London?" He turned to his niece and smiled at her. "Well, my dear? How would you like to go to London?"

Fanny could scarcely believe what she heard. Go to London? She had always been curious to see the city although not under such circumstances. Even so, she could barely contain her excitement. "Oh yes, sir! It would be wonderful!"

Mrs. Norris could no longer contain herself. "Surely, Sir Thomas!" she broke in, "Suitable clothes may be found here in Northamptonshire! There is no need to go to such expense! You did not do so for Mrs. Rushworth's wedding."

"Maria would not have it so, Mrs. Norris" the gentleman replied. "The engagement had been so long standing due to my absence, that she was anxious to married as soon as possible."

Mrs. Norris would not be deterred yet for she had another objection. "But what of my sister? Surely Lady Bertram would not like to travel so far and then help to choose suitable clothes! I am sure her health would not allow it."

"Oh yes, Sir Thomas," Lady Bertram agreed languidly, "I am sure I would not like it."

"Do not worry, my dear. I shall take Fanny to London myself and I am sure Miss Crawford would help find something suitable for the future Mrs. Crawford."

Mary smiled and exclaimed, "Indeed I shall! Nothing would give me more pleasure!"

Sir Thomas bowed his thanks. Turning to Mrs. Norris, "Perhaps you would like to stay at Mansfield while we are gone to look after my wife. And as Edmund shall soon be home, he will be able to take care of my affairs. Is that more to your liking?"

It was very much against Mrs. Norris's liking but as she could not foresee any more objections, she was forced to agree to the plan. Fanny had held her breath through the entire exchange. She had been half-afraid that Sir Thomas would agree with her aunt about all the difficulties such a trip would involve. An idea had occurred to her, during their conversation, making a journey to London even more desirable than going only for pleasure. Once in town and surrounded again by elegant ladies of his acquaintance, Mr. Crawford might loose interest in her. Her country manners and awkwardness would be eclipsed by London society. And maybe, just maybe, her uncle would see what Henry Crawford truly was.

Chapter 4

Author's note: This one's for Cinthia, who ever so politely reminded me that I hadn't posted in a while. As I told her, it was just a matter laziness. :-)

Fanny looked upon Edmund's homecoming with apprehension for she knew it would only cause her pain. She was trying to forget that she ever held any affection for her cousin and the task had been made easier by his absence. But soon he would be near again, making him all the more difficult to forget.

The long awaited event soon occurred. He was in the house, being welcomed by the family, the Grants, and much to his surprise, the Crawfords. Fanny bore her share of the reunion with an outwardly calm. Inside, a piece of her heart died as she observed Edmund and Miss Crawford together-they would marry, she was sure of that. Edmund did not have to wait long to hear of Henry and Fanny's engagement. He said all that was expected and proper but had his doubts about the felicity of the marriage. These misgivings arose not from any belief in the unsuitableness of the connection-indeed he found it most desirable-but rather they were founded after watching Fanny for some time. She was not happy, a fact that was so glaringly obvious to him but went unobserved by all the others. He resolved to speak with her at the first chance.

An opportunity came the next day when he met Fanny walking out of doors. He turned back to walk with her and drew her arm within his. Several minutes passed in silence until he suddenly said, "We have been friends for a long time, have we not?"

"Yes, a very long time, cousin," came the gentle reply.

Edmund smiled slightly and said, "And in all our years of friendship, I believe I may say that I am able to judge your state of mind quite accurately." He waited for an answer but receiving none, he continued, "You are not happy Fanny. Tell me what is wrong. Is it the thought of leaving Mansfield?" She still said nothing. "Is it Crawford?" A momentary flash of surprise crossed her features and it was enough for Edmund. "Why are you not happy? You love each other and he does not lack for fortune." He stopped walking and stared down at her. "You do love him Fanny?"

"We are so totally unlike," said Fanny, avoiding a direct answer, "we are so very, very different in all our inclinations and ways, that I worry if we shall ever be tolerably happy together. There were never two people more dissimilar. We have not one taste in common."

"Is that all?" Edmund exclaimed. "You are mistaken, Fanny. The dissimilarity is not so strong. You are quite enough alike. You have tastes in common. You have both warm hearts and benevolent feelings. You forget yourself: there is a decided difference in your tempers, I allow. He is lively, you are serious; but so much the better; his spirits will support yours. It is in your disposition to be easily dejected and to fancy difficulties greater than they are. His cheerfulness will counteract this. He sees difficulties no where; and his pleasantness and gaiety will be a constant support to you. Your being so far unlike, Fanny, does not in the smallest degree make against the probability of your happiness together: do not imagine. All this united with your mutual love and affection is the perfect recipe for happiness." He looked at Fanny to see if his words had any effect but much to his disappointment, she seemed as melancholy as ever. He patted her hand. "It will take time, that is all."

Fanny could only nod. She had expected nothing else of Edmund as he was now entirely blinded by his love for Miss Crawford, that brother and sister appeared faultless. Using her only escape to avoid a conversation about that lady's merits, she only said, "I am rather tired, cousin."

Edmund looked at her in concern and said, "I am sorry, Fanny. I should have noticed earlier." And so saying, he escorted her back to the house.

It was the evening before the Crawfords' departure and everyone was gathered in the drawing at Mansfield Park for one last time. Long faces could be seen on almost every countenance. Most were regretting the separation, even though it would only be for a short time. The only ones who did not think the evening shorter than usual or sighed fondly over past events were Fanny and Lady Bertram. Fanny found the Crawfords' going a relief, though she would see them again in a week. Lady Bertram said everything that was civil and proper to the Crawfords but she was much more concerned with the discomfort she would suffer when Fanny left.

As the time neared for when the Crawfords would return to the Parsonage, Henry took advantage of the other's inattention to say to Fanny, "I must speak with you alone before I leave." He looked beseechingly into her eyes. "Please?"

The look on his face surprised Fanny. It seemed almost... tender. "Y-yes, of course," she stammered.

Henry smiled warmly. "Good. Go into out into the hall and I will meet you there in a few minutes."

Fanny's standing as if to walk out of the room caught Mrs. Norris's attention. "Fanny!" she cried, "where are you going? What are you about?"

"I was going to get my wrap, Ma'am," Fanny replied. "I am rather cold." This was not a complete untruth, for the fire burnt low and there was a definite chill in the air.

"Oh very well then," Mrs. Norris said crossly. Unable to take her displeasure out on Fanny in all the usual ways, she had restored to watching niece closely and criticizing every move she made.

Fanny quickly left the room and waited in the hall with increasing trepidation as every moment passed. After what seemed like an eternity, the drawing room door opened and shut and Henry was standing in the hall. Seizing her hand, he pulled her further down the hall where the light was dim. He looked around to see if any servants were passing by and then with low moan, he took Fanny into his arms and placed a soft kiss upon her lips. Fanny was astounded. Never had she been kissed. She wanted to push him away, to hold him close, to explode with righteous anger, to sigh with happiness, to cry, to laugh, to... to...

"I am going to miss you ever so much, Fanny, though it is only for a week." Awareness came crashing back at the sound of his voice-she had not known when he stopped kissing her. Fanny still stood within his embrace but she quickly pulled back and blushed furiously. How dare he! Had he no regard for propriety?

"Fanny?" She looked up to see Henry smiling down at her. "I..." he began before a door opened and a maid walked out into the hall. When she went into another room, he said, "Goodbye, Fanny... For now..." He gently ran a finger down her cheek before turning and walking back to the drawing room. Fanny stood in the darkness, trying to ease the confusion in her mind. Failing to do so, she could only go upstairs to retrieve her wrap and then join the others for a more formal adieu.