Jump to new as of December 2, 1999
Jump to new as of December 4, 1999
Posted on Thursday, 9 September 1999, at 9 : 10 a.m.
The morning air was cool. Although the sky was clear, a grey wall of fog sat on the lake. The black water mirrored the valley's stillness in its glassy surface. Slowly, gradually, as the sun rose, the shadows of the eastern hills receded. The light crept down from the crests, down from the tops of the pines, down to the western shore of the lake, and out across the water. It struck the grey fog and set if aglow, until the valley shone like a beacon, until the air began to clear.
Out of the lake, through the swirls of thinning fog, moved a solitary figure. It paused on the beach, then bent down. A note lay on the sand, secured by a sky-blue flip-flop. Having read the note, the girl threw up her hands in annoyance, swore quietly, and stalked off, flip-flops on feet.
Twenty minutes later, caked with mud and carrying a rainbow-striped towel, she burst though the door of cabin 6, shattering its morning calm.
"Richard Henry Albert George Cholmondely Percival Fitzwilliam," she intoned slowly and evenly as she crossed the room, "the next time I find my towel in the Hide, you can snorkel for your saxophone." She stopped beside a bunk to glare at its apparently sleeping inhabitant. "Oh, by the way. . ." Her tone was amused now. "I brought you a friend." Reaching down to his face, she placed on the bridge of his nose a small, green, spotted frog.
Rich opened his eyes and grinned. "Enjoy your swim, Lizard?" He sat up and passed the frog to another bunk.
"The first swim was lovely. The second" she glanced pointedly at the filth which was beginning to harden on her skin "was a little unexpected."
The frog hopped towards the face of its new bedfellow, who, awoken by voices, opened his eyes to see his amphibious neighbor two inches away. He cried out in surprise, and his flailing arm projected the frog across the room.
"Trouble with that fourth step?" Rich inquired innocently. "You really should be more careful."
At this point, the cabin's fourth (fifth?) occupant, waking to the commotion around him, took the first effective action of the day. Stepping out of his sleeping bag, he rescued the poor bewildered frog and set it outside.
The girl was still glaring at Rich. "You just watch yourself, Swill."
Rich seemed to remember his manners, and began to make introductions. "My good friend Liz Bennet, my cousin Will Darcy, his friend Charles Bingley. Liz is a leader on the girls' 21-day trips. Will and Charles arrived late last night, Liz. They're staying with me until their cabins are ready. Will" the frog-swatter was now glowering from his bed "is leading the guys' 21-day with me. The three of us will be using the same route. Charles" Rich indicated the smiling Friend-of-Kermit "is a counsellor for Junior Boys."
"Have you been to Camp Longbourn before?" Charles asked Liz.
She smiled. "This is my thirteenth year."
"On staff?" Will raised his eyebrows.
Liz raised hers right back. How old does he think I am? "I started coming as a camper when I was eight. I've been a leader since I was sixteen, and I'll be twenty-one in the fall. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go get ready for breakfast." Still annoyed, she turned on her heel and walked out the door. As she passed the window, she could hear Will's voice clearly.
"Someone should introduce her to the concept of biodegradable SOAP."
Her irritation almost dissolved in her amusement, as she ran off laughing.
"I should probably explain somethin." Having succeeded in dumping Will from his sleeping bag, Rich was getting dressed. "The Hide is a camouflaged platform built for observing wildlife. You know, herons, deer, beavers, ducks, mosquitoes. It's in a tree. In the middle of a swamp. There are stepping stones leading to it, but the fourth one's a bit loose right now, and if someone's taken the handrail away, and if you're wearing flip-flops. . ." He smirked. Will rolled his eyes, then squinted questioningly.
"'Swill?'" He asked.
"Short for Fitzwilliam." Rich grimaced. "Old camp nicknames never die."
Chapter 2
There was only one empty chair by the time Liz got to breakfast. She slid into her spot at the Green Table, and smiled brightly at the familiar faces around her.
"I smell muffins!" She announced to the girl on her left.
"Chocolate chip muffins." The speaker was seated around the corner of the square table, to Lizzy's right.
"Oooh!" Lizzy was excited. "Merlin's been talking with her source in the kitchen!"
"And Lizard's been visiting her home in the mud," interjected the boy across the table. He was Rich's left-hand neighbor, and the two weren't quite repressing their grins. Liz eyed them suspiciously.
"If that stunt hadn't been signature Swill, I'd have thought you had something to do with it, Princess."
"C'mon Liz, that lame attempt at humour was WAY beneath me." He smirked condescendingly. "I'm saving myself for the truly superior prank."
"Well, someone scratched "modesty" out of his dictionary this morning." Liz turned her attention to Will Darcy. From his place between Rich and Charles Bingley, he was watching her curiously. His right eyebrow was flattened into a slight frown, giving him a pensive, confused look. Liz smiled in mock sympathy. "I think I've messed with your cousin's head by showing up clean, Swill." She extended her hand to Will. "Hi. Liz Bennet. We met earlier. . .Rich did show you the showerhouse, right?"
The eyebrow didn't appreciate that. It lowered until the embarassed Will was nearly scowling as he shook Lizzy's hand.
"Oh, of course!" Rich had been lecturing to the table at large in defense of his prank. He now realized that the mess hall's two tables provided Charles and Will with excellent opportunities for meeting and greeting. Commanding the attention of those at his table, he spoke again. "Will Darcy and Charles Bingley. Lizard, of course, you already know. Jelly Bean is her sister. . ."
"Jane," corrected the girl to Lizzy's left, Charles' right. She smiled sweetly as she shook hands.
Rich continued. "Charlotte Lucas is usually referred to as Merlin, for reasons never fully explained. . ."
Liz interrupted. "It's from our senior trip. It involves not much sleep and LOTS of juice crystals." The three girls smiled at a shared memory, and Lizzy took up the introductions. "Beside Merlin we have James 'the stomach' Morland, who is just leaving to get our breakfast." The door to the kitchen had scarcely opened before James was out of his chair.
"Interesting name." Will didn't sound interested.
Charlotte rolled her eyes. "It's not that his regular eating habits are odd, but the things I've seen him eat on a bet. . ."
The table's last occupant introduced himself as "Henry Tilney," but Charles had already caught on.
"So how did you get a nickname like 'Princess'?" he inquired.
Liz smiled maliciously. "It's a long story," she began.
Henry cut her off. "Which you will take to your grave Bennet," he threatened only half-jokingly. Lizzy shrugged and gestured to the other table. Slightly longer than theirs, it seated ten instead of eight.
"At the head of the Head Table" she began "are David and Sophie Croft. You must have met them." The Directors, while by far the oldest people in the room, could not yet have been fifty. "On Sophie's left are Merlin's sister Maria. . ."
"We've called her Mouse since she was two," interjected Charlotte.
". . .Princess' sister Eleanor. . ."
"E.T." Henry amended.
". . .and Anna Taylor. Anna was on the same senior trip as us, and we rechristened her Roo. Then there's Anne. . ."
"Anne Elliot?" Will's eyebrow gave a twitch of recognition.
". . .Everybody Knows Anne." Liz smiled affectionately at her old friend, who needed no further distinction.
"She went to high school with me and Charles. She was in my Writer's Craft class."
"I think my sister took that class." Charles was trying to remember.
"Caroline?" The eyebrow leaped. "Not that year, certainly."
"No, no, a little later. It was during her 'insensitive artist' phase."
Will cringed. "Oh, God, the poetry. . ."
By this time, James had returned with the food, and Lizzy had taken the initiative to pour out juice. This left Rich to continue their show-and-tell.
"Dash. . ."
"Elinor Dashwood" clarified Jane.
". . .is sitting to Anne's left and around the corner from Sir George."
"George Knightley is an absolute wizard." Henry was clearly in awe of the man. "He's been the driving force behind nearly every project this camp has undertaken in the past for years."
"Andy Harville, on the other hand. . ." Charlotte indicated the next guy.
"Harv's a great leader, and he does his job well." Rich was quick to defend his friend. "He's just not out to change the world."
Eager to forestall a quarrel, Jane cut in before Charlotte could snap back. "Last but not least is George's brother John."
"Good ol' JFK." Lizzy put the juice jug down.
"JFK?" Charles laughed. "What's his middle name?"
Flirt." The girls replied in unison, with a collective grimace.
Chapter Three
This discussion splintered soon after, and all were content to focus on breakfast and small-talk.
"Oh, hon, I love that shirt!"
"Thanks! You know, you can borrow it. . ."
"I'm telling you, Harv, we would have won."
"Sure you would, Roo. I absolutely agree. You would have won, except that you were all playing like three-year-olds!"
"We were NOT!"
"Come on, Mouse, no need to whine about it. . ."
"But Merrrllll, you took the last one, you have to get more!"
"Sorry, Princess, that rule may apply for guys, but at girl tables you get your own sevenths. Especially when the rest of us are on thirds!"
"Fine. . ."
"So I got some new Dave Matthews tabs on the weekend, and my hand feels a bit dead this morning."
"Tabs? Where'd you go?"
"Oh, there's this great new store in Meryton. . ."
"I talked to Mom last night."
"You mean you let her talk at you?"
"Lizzy - "
"I know, I know. Well, Jane, what did she have to say? Any valuable, earth-shattering news? Are the neighbors acting suspicious? Has she found any hot boys she wants us to marry?"
"She and Dad are driving Kitty up here."
Beat.
"Oh. . .really. . .I thought she was getting a ride with Sean Denny."
"They broke up three days ago."
"Ah. But - but - they do that all the time! They'll be back together by the end of the week."
"No, I don't think so. It sounds pretty final."
"Final? What happened to my optimistic sister? This isn't like you, Jane."
"I spoke to Kitty. She dumped him."
Beat.
"It'll be nice to see Dad. . ."
At length, breakfast ended, the tables were cleared, and David Croft stood up.
"We've got two newcomers today; William Darcy and Charles Bingley." Will smiled and waved very slightly. Charles beamed at the entire room and nodded. "We've got a lot to do this morning, so let's get moving." David pulled out a notebook. "Andrew and Anne are at the Waterfront with John, James, Anna, Charles, Jane, and Charlotte."
"Are we getting wet?" Anna knew what to expect; she was just checking.
"Yes. Bathing suit, hat, sunscreen. That means SPF 30, John." Harv was adamant. "You'll be working on the boats, not your tan." The ensuing general laughter was friendly, but John Knightley's tanned face furned bright red.
Without waiting for quiet, David continued forcefully.
"Elinor Dashwood and George are painting with everyone else. Are you doing interiors, exteriors. . . ?"
"Little of everything," answered Elinor, "we're hoping to get the last of it done today, so I'll take Lizzy, Henry, and Will, and finish the cabin interiors, and Maria, ET, and Rich will work outside with George. We'll meet at the shed at" she checked her watch "a quarter past nine."
"Any other announcements?" David scanned the room.
Harville stood up. "On behalf of the Great Green Grinches, I'd like to thank the Irrepressible Carrots for letting us cream them at Ultimate Frisbee last night." Here he was drowned out by a mixture of cheering and booing, and was obliged to wait. "We cordially invite you to arrive at this evening's Monopoly marathon at eight o'clock sharp, wearing pinecones in your ears."
The room erupted once again in noise as everyone stood to leave. "Is that the best you could do, Harv?" shouted James Morland amidst a din of scraping chairs, giggles, and groans.
"So what was all that about pinecones?" Will was crouched on the floor, edging the base of the cabin wall with tan paint. Lizzy was rolling said paint liberally onto another wall. She looked over.
"Sorry?"
"Pinecones. In ears. And Ultimate Frisbee. And something about an irrefutable. . ."
"Irresponsible cowards," corrected Henry as he came in to fill up his pain pan, "who were whipped once again by the Great Green Grinches and will be whipped tonight. The Boardwalk will be mine, Lizard!"
"The Grisly Groaning Gourds," Lizzy drawled scornfully, "will have to sell their earlobes just to attain bankruptcy, once the Irrepressible Carrots have finished with them. You're spending the night in jail, Princess."
"We'll just see about that!" Lacking a really good comeback, he grinned and made good his escape.
Lizzy turned to find Will staring at her as if she had sprouted a third nostril. "Oh. That. Well, every spring the staff gets split into teams. We play a lot of games in the evenings, when we've done working, and this way we always know what colours to wear. Sophie and David start on opposite teams, and people are added as they arrive. The teams stay about even in numbers, so you're a Carrot and Charles is a Grinch."
Will absorbed this. "Okayyy. . .but the pinecones?"
She chortled. "The winners get to punish the los- um, the non-winners, as Dash would say. It's pretty harmless, mostly; you never know when you're going to get paid back."
Lizzy turned back to her wall. She wasn't quite sure she liked this way the Eyebrow was reacting to being called a Carrot.
What is his problem? she wondered. This is a guy who's going to be spending weeks in the woods with pubescent boys, and he's objecting to pinecones?! He definitely needs to reset his scruple-o-meter.
They painted for some time in silence. Will was trying to to get paint all over his hands (why do I get stuck with a brush while she gets the roller on a pole?), and Lizzy was determined not to talk to him if he wasn't going to talk to her. At length they finished the cabin, and walked together to the next.
"This one's mine. Rich showed it to me last night." He was pleased with himself for recognizing it.
"Yup."
"I suppose your cabin is painted already?"
"Mmm-hmm."
"Have you been here long, then?"
"Since May 3, but people have been arriving since April." She shot him an arch look. "If everyone showed up three weeks before the kids, we'd never be ready."
The Eyebrow went on defense. "Of course," Will agreed. "I was only just hired last week. Rich told me they were looking for some leaders, and I knew Charles was free."
"Lucky for us." She tried to keep the sarcasm out of her voice. She just didn't try very hard.
James could have led those trips with Rich. Oh, come on; Rich is so competent John could have co-led them. But Charles seemed alright. After all, Jane thought he was cute. And if I can hook them up. . . She smiled as she schemed silently.
Chapter 4
That afternoon found Lizzy, Charlotte, Will, Rich, and Sophie gathered around a map.
"You'll be following the usual rout," said Sophie, "starting at Forster Bay."
"We'll be driven out?" Will guessed, as the map didn't even include Meryton or Camp Longbourn.
Charlotte nodded. "It's an eleven-hour drive, so we leave before breakfast and stay the night at the Forster Bay campground."
"The girls will start upstream this year, the boys downstream. You'll meet on the tenth evening at Hunsford rapids, and I'll drive up to join you for a rest day. The twelfth morning you will continue on your circuit, meeting me back at Forster Bay eight days later. We'll sleep there again and start driving in the morning." Sophie concluded.
"How long do we have with the kids before the trip starts?" Will asked.
"Three days. It's not a lot of time, so you'd better get all your prep-work done well in advance. Here's all the info on your campers, a menu outline, and the trip logs from other summers." Sophie handed a huge stack of papers to each pair of leaders. "If you have any questions, I'm just next door." She passed through the communicating door into her office.
With an excited squeal, Lizzy snatched up the list of girls she and Charlotte would be leading. She started to read it slowly, remembering familiar campers from previous years. One of Dash's little sisters was coming, she noticed, as well as the youngest sister in Anne's family. She heard Rich murmur "Henry Crawford. . ." as he looked over his own list, and she grimaced.
"Watch out!" She laughed. "We're spending four nights on the same sites, and you two had better keep a sharp eye on that kid!"
Rich frowned. "I don't remember him being that bad."
"That's because you've been off in the bush for the past few summers. He's discovered girls, and he's trouble. We've got his sister, Mary. . .oh, of all the. . ." For as Lizzy looked back at her list, she began to giggle. The others squinted at her uncomprehendingly, and Charlotte reached for the list, but Lizzy waved her away and, barely regaining control of her voice, began to read.
"Maria Bertram, Mary Crawford, Marianne Dashwood, Mary Elliot, Maria Halifax, Mary King, and Mary Wynne."
"Oh, no," gasped Charlotte as she burst into helpless laughter, "do you think we'll have to change our names?"
" I thought we were leading a trip," spluttered Lizzy, "not joining a holy order!"
"George said that the paint would be dry by tonight," Charles told Rich, "and Will and I can move into our cabins. I've phoned Caroline, and she'll drive the rest of our stuff over."
Rich and his guests were on their way to the common room for the Monopoly marathon. Rich wore his pinecones already, Will carried his. Rich laughed at Charles' last statement.
"The rest? Charles, what more could you possibly bring? Will and I could live for a season with half of what's cluttering up my cabin!"
"I'm sure you could," replied Charles good-naturedly, "but I'm spending my summer in a cabin, not in a tent."
"Just as long as you leave some shelf-space for your campers' stuff." As they reached the common room, Rich turned his attention to the buzz of activity within. The teams were massed in opposite corners, trading various cheers back and forth.
We are the Carrots, my friend!
And we'll keep on winning till the end!
We are the Carrots, the Irrepressible Carrots!
No luck for Grinches, 'cause we're
Gonna make them eat our dust!*
Not to be outdone, the Knightley brothers started a Grinch standard.
Great Green Grinches are gonna win every game!
We might look a bit insane, but we'll win all the same!
There is not one challenge that we cannot face!
The Carrots will be diced!**
The Carrots were preparing for a counter-cheer, when Lizzy burst through the door in a sodden raincoat.
"It's RAAAAIIIINIIIINNNGG!" She announced joyfully. There was a universal cheer, and everyone rushed for the door.
Will was mystified.
"Rich, does the roof leak in here or something?"
Anna, who was just behind them, laughed. "No, but it hasn't rained in over a week. Besides, if it rains during game-time, we always play mud soccer!"
The game was close; 19 to 17 for the Carrots so far. The torrential rain had filled the field with puddles, and everyone's face was streaming with water and sweat. As James and Lizzy closed in on the Grinch goal, Anne watched them warily from the crease. Charles, meant to be helping her, was slightly distracted by the silver Volkswagen pulling into the lane. The two Carrots took advantage of his inattention and made their move. James moved around to the right with the ball, then passed it at the last second to Lizzy, who kicked it smoothly into the net. In doing so, however, she slipped on the wet grass and skidded sideways into a huge patch of mud.
Rich ran over to mock her. "Gee, Lizard, I thought you'd had your mud-bath for the day." She forced a sarcastic laugh, then let him help her to her feet. She could see Charles and Will moving to intercept the Volkswagen.
A titanic bolt of lightning rent the sky, and was quickly followed by an earth-shaking crash of thunder.
"Game over!" David was yelling. "Let's get out of this storm!"
"That must be Charles' sister Caroline." Rich followed Lizzy's gaze. "From what my cousin's told me over the years, she should be. . .interesting to meet. You coming down to my cabin?"
Lizzy shrugged and followed him off the field. The car was moving again, heading for the cabins. Clearly, Will and Charles were not to be offered a ride while they were splattered with mud.
Jane ran to catch up with her sister. "Good game, Lizzy, Rich," she acknowledged, "your team played well."
"So did yours." Lizzy smiled. "All in all, I'd say that the spirit of competition was well upheld. Today the Carrots vs. the Grinches, tomorrow the World Cup!"
"I'd have said you were playing volleyball by the way you were diving out there!" Rich hadn't finished heckling her yet. "Jane, want to come meet Caroline Bingley?"
"So, Caroline, Charles mentioned that you have a cottage near here?"
It was Louisa Bingley who answered. "Actually, Jane, it's the family's. Our parents are renting Netherfield Island for the summer."
"Netherfield Island? Over on Spruce Lake?" Lizzy was starry-eyed. "Oh, it's beautiful!"
"Too many blackflies!" The pessimist had been introduced by Louisa as "Arthur," in such a proprietal tone as left no doubt as to their relationship.
"Don't worry," Rich reassured him, "they'll be gone soon enough. The mosquitoes will take over in no time at all!"
"That's the last of it!" Will called as he and Charles hauled an inconceivably heavy trunk through the door. Lizzy repressed a smile as she caught Caroline ogling Will's still-drenched muscles. She has a point, but it's not as if he's that much better looking than most of the guys around here. . .
"Thanks for helping us move in, everyone!"
"Good thing we did, Charles. It would have taken you all night!" Rich still couldn't believe anyone could need so much at camp.
"Bye Caroline, bye Louisa! Good-bye Arthur! I'll see you all on the weekend."
Caroline recoiled from her brother in her pastel top and immaculate skirt. "Ugh, no! Don't you dare hug me!"
Charles himself laughed along with the others, in the general hum of commentary.
"Mmmm. The mud is caking now."
"You look like the Swamp Thing!"
"Well you smell like one!"
"Meet you at the showerhouse."
"I'm going to have to scour my floor after this!"
"Don't pretend to be a neat-freak, Swill, you're the biggest slob I know."
"Yeah, we probably made the floor cleaner."
"Lizzy," Jane reached towards her, "you still have pinecones in your ears."
*To the tune of Queen's "We are the Champions"
**Same tune as "Great Greeen Gobs of Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts.
By the way, Mary Wynne and Maria Halifax are both from "Catharine, or The Bower." I couldn't find any more Marys in the novels.