Beginning, Previous Section, Section IV, Next Section
Part 42
"What shall we do?" William said after two weeks. "We seem to be together in one room all the time."
"What do you mean?" Elizabeth asked. She was lying on his bed studying, while he was doing the same at his desk.
"Maybe we could make one room the study and the other the bedroom or something, so you would not have to lie on my bed to study."
"I like lying on your bed to study. If I wouldn't be lying on your bed, I'd be lying on my own bed."
"So you think it's a bad idea," William stated.
"No. It has possibilities," she admitted. "But you'd have to at least get a three-quarter bed before I move in with you."
William smiled. "You're not worried that we might split up and then have to move all our things to separate rooms again?"
"Well, no. See, if we separate, one of us will have to move out. Can you imagine living in the same house as your ex? And anyway, we won't separate just yet," she teased him. "That would be such a waste of our efforts, wouldn't it?"
"I don't think we'll separate at all!" William said seriously.
The reactions of their roommates varied. Most were amused, and especially Jane seemed to think it was quite an ordinary thing to do. Charles spent about five days a week with her, and he only spent two days at home so as not to aggravate his parents. They were even looking at places to rent for the two of them.
Caroline frowned when they told her. "Have you set a date yet?" she asked sarcastically.
"Uhh no," Elizabeth said. "A date for what?"
"For your marriage."
"Oh, that! No. Do you take offence that we sort of live together?"
"Not at all, but considering the pace you two work at, I thought it would be time for a wedding."
"Are you saying we are rushing into things?" Elizabeth asked.
"Yes, but if it makes you happy, why not?"
"How can you say that when you and Richard had a one-night stand?"
Caroline was shocked. "What? Is that really what everybody thinks?" she asked carefully.
"Yes, of course."
But it's not true! Caroline shrugged. "Think that, if you want."
"Are you still seeing him then?" Elizabeth asked.
"Yes, I spoke to him on the phone last week," Caroline said carelessly.
"Last week? A whole week ago? And you call this seeing one another?"
"Yes, of course." We kissed once, so wouldn't that mean anything? Maybe I should call him again. Would he want me to?
"So you are going to his brother's wedding too?" Elizabeth asked.
"I guess so." Which brother? Which wedding?
"Great! I know one more person that I know there then."
Part 43
Caroline had decided to call Richard. She knew he had classes in the morning and sports in the afternoon, so she called at four.
"Cadet Philips," the other side answered. It was to be expected that Richard would not answer himself. That would be a great coincidence. All the cadets from Richard's year lived on the same floor and they shared one phone. This inconvenience was a little compensated by the fact that the Ministry of Defense paid the phone bill, however.
"Hi, can I talk to Richard?" Caroline asked.
Cadet Philips changed his tone now that the caller turned out to be somebody other than the officers supervising the education of the Academy students, and he became Flippie. "Hello there, Flippie speaking!"
"Can I talk to Richard?" Caroline repeated.
"Which one? We've got three, although I cannot imagine why you'd want to talk to any of them! Not anyone I'd want to trust a lady to! Fitzie's got a list of Bitsies from here to Tokyo, Mac Boy only eats junkfood, and Fly King is so ugly that he doesn't even own a mirror. Do you want Fitzie, Mac Boy, or Fly King? I'd advise Flippie, though!"
"Geez. That is so sad. Give me Fitzie."
"You're out of luck. He's gone into town with Chicky and he'll be back soon. Who can I say called?"
"Caroline."
"Caroline!" Flippie said in an interested voice. "Caroline, honey! Is it true?"
"Is what true?" Caroline asked suspiciously. She did not trust men who called her honey.
"Are you the yummy Caroline?"
"I don't know." Yummy Caroline? What kind of moron am I talking to?
"The Massage Goddess! So did you and Fitzie...? Does he let you do his friends as well? My back! Are you really Fitzie's girlfriend?"
"Uhh..." Caroline hesitated. Was she? There was a lot of noise on the other side of the line, and it sounded as if Flippie dropped the receiver. She was almost sure she heard people struggle, and she frowned. If that moron doesn't come back soon, I'm going to hang up.
"Caroline?" a voice asked breathlessly.
"Yes," she said in an annoyed voice. "And if you call me honey and yummy again, I'm going to hang up on you."
"It's me, Caroline."
"Richard?"
"Yes."
"What on earth was going on there?"
"I had to knock Flippie off the phone," Richard said.
"Who is that moron?"
"He's my neighbour. Bugger off, Flippie!" he called away from the receiver. "Don't listen in."
"Why didn't you call?" Caroline asked.
"It's a bit difficult to call from here, as you noticed. My mates are an interfering lot. Do you have anything to do this weekend?"
"No."
"Come over," Richard suggested.
"But you just said they're an interfering lot!"
"Not here! To my home, of course."
"Uhh..."
"Please?" Richard asked.
"Okay then." Caroline sounded pretty indifferent, but she grinned nevertheless.
"Good!" he sounded pleased. "If you could take the train that arrives here at 6, I'll meet you at the station and we'll take the train home. Someone will pick us up there."
Part 44
"Are you going to eat with me this weekend? I have to try out a new recipe." Maria asked Caroline.
"No, I won't be here."
"Huh? Are you going home?" Elizabeth knew that Caroline's parents had not quite recovered from their daughter's mutiny yet.
"No, to Richard's house."
"Say hello to his parents from me," William said.
"Will you be here during the weekend?" Maria asked William. He usually stayed, not really wanting to go to his aunt's house every week.
"No, I'm going home with Elizabeth." He had finally let Elizabeth persuade him to come with her. Elizabeth's mother had been begging to see him ever since Elizabeth had first informed her family that she had a boyfriend. She called a lot more often now, in the hopes of having her call answered by William. After six times, however, he had started answering under a pseudonym. He was not really looking forward to the meeting. Mrs. Bennet was exactly the type to have her bathroom full of white soap figurines, or perhaps she would collect everything on Ajax, or the Royal Family. Elizabeth had told him that it was not so bad, so at last he had given in. He was rather surprised to hear that Caroline was going to Richard. Last time he had spoken to him, Richard had not mentioned anything at all.
Caroline had taken a train earlier, so she was absolutely certain that Richard would not miss her. What with the snow and wet leaves on the rails it was better to have a safe time margin. She sat waiting on a bench until he would appear. Suddenly a large group of noisy young men in army outfits entered the station. Caroline stood up to look for Richard among them, but there were so many of them that she did not see him. More kept arriving. It looked like the whole school was going home by train. She did not see Richard and her spirits fell. She walked to the platform the train was leaving from with a bowed head. When she passed a group of boys in uniform she suddenly felt someone wrap an arm around her waist, and she was kissed on the cheek. It was Richard. He was dressed in jeans; no wonder she had not seen him. Caroline heard his mates whistle and snicker in the background.
"Ahh! So that is why you were in such a hurry to change and shower, Fitzie!" one called.
"Is this Caroline?" another one cried, as he moved forward.
Richard let go of her. "Are you that moron I spoke to on the phone?" she asked, much to the delight of the rest of the group. Flippie had told them that the normally calm Richard had used considerable force to get him off the phone before he could offend the girl or ask her the wrong questions. That had been unusual enough for his mates to be extremely interested in Caroline right now.
The train arrived, and the academy students boarded it. They were with many, and their big bags filled with dirty laundry took up a lot of space. It was Friday, so they were in an exhilarated mood as well.
"Wanna sit on my lap, Caroline?" Flippie cried when there was not enough space.
"Not unless you take me too, Philips," Richard countered. He took the only remaining seat and pulled Caroline onto his lap.
"Not on your life, Fitzwilliam! I'm not gay!" Flippie shuddered, and the other guys laughed.
Caroline's heart was fluttering from sitting on Richard's lap. He smelled good, and his hair was slightly damp. She wondered if he had showered and changed just for her.
"Tickets, please!" the conductor called as he entered the compartment. All the other passengers had fled for the military influx -- soldiers on a Friday night were notorious for their rowdiness. They all waved their military train passes at him. "All military?" the conductor asked. It would save him some time if he could walk right through to another compartment.
"Not me," Caroline cried indignantly, and the rest burst out laughing.
"She's with him," Flippie was being helpful. "He is one of us, but he changed out of his uniform especially for her. What do you say to that?" he asked the conductor. "Sweet eh?"
"I thought women liked uniforms! Did I join the railways for nothing then?"
The academy boys bellowed with laughter. They obviously did not think a conductor's uniform as nice as their own. Until the next big station, where everyone in the compartment except Richard and Caroline got off, they kept insinuating that Richard would have a good time over the weekend.
"Tell me all the details on Monday, okay?" Flippie shouted when he left the train.
Richard sighed in relief when they were finally alone. Well, not quite alone, because they were in a compartment for twenty-four people, but there were only two other people in it, and they sat where they could not see them.
Part 45
William and Elizabeth went to the Bennets' home in his car. Mrs. Bennet had been very impressed when Elizabeth had said that she would not have to be picked up from the station. "You've done well," she told her daughter. "What does he study?"
Elizabeth cringed. "Law," she almost whispered.
"My, my! My Elizabeth is dating a lawyer!"
"He's not a lawyer yet, Mum!" she protested.
"But he will be! How wonderful! My friends will be so envious. It's almost as good as a gynaecologist."
"Okay, I have to go, Mum. See you later," Elizabeth cut her mother short.
"Bye, love. Oh! What does he like, your lawyer? I have to make sure I buy the right kind of biscuits."
"Uhh, doesn't matter. Bye!" She hung up with a sigh. What would happen at home?
They parked the car in front of the house. Mrs. Bennet was already waiting when they got out. "Hello William! Come in, come in. Let me take your coat. Would you like something to drink?"
"Mum! We're not even in the house yet!"
It was not as bad as Elizabeth had feared, though. Mrs. Bennet stayed well within the bounds of propriety, although the six friends of hers who dropped by were probably not a coincidence. William had felt as if he was on display, and he tried to bear it as well as he could.
"Well, we'll go to bed now," Elizabeth announced later that night.
"Of course, let me prepare William's room," Mrs. Bennet rose.
Richard and Caroline were picked up by one of his brothers. He remembered Caroline from two years ago, but he was rather surprised to see her. "Didn't you tell him I was coming?" Caroline whispered to Richard.
"No," he whispered back.
The drive to his house was about fifteen minutes, and Caroline wondered what it was like. She had never been there. She used to meet Richard and his family at places such as William's aunt Catherine's house. It was dark so she could not see much, and she was listening to Richard and his brother Edward talk. Edward drove the car straight into the garage when they got home. Richard's parents greeted them in a polite way. They did not show any surprise at all. Caroline wondered if Richard had told them he was bringing her. She did not know what they would think of her. She had dumped their son two years ago, after all, so she was very quiet. They had other guests as well, so Richard, Caroline and Edward had to amuse themselves. Around midnight, Edward said good night.
"We had better go too, then," Richard suggested. "Good night," he said to his parents.
"Good night," his mother smiled. "Oh wait. I'll get you some towels, Caroline." She went up with them and deposited some towels on a double bed in one of the rooms. Richard had made a dash for the bathroom, to beat Edward to it. "There you go. Good night."
"Good night," Caroline answered. She unpacked her toothbrush and started to brush her teeth at the washbasin. She wondered whose room this was. It probably belonged to Richard's other brother David, the one who was going to be married.
"Oh," said Richard, as he crossed the threshold. He had obviously not expected to find her there.
"Your mother put me in here," Caroline said. "Whose room is this? Your brother's?"
"No, mine," he answered.
Part 46
Elizabeth had not counted on her mother being so old-fashioned as to not let them decide themselves, and she did not know what to say. William did not say anything either, because he was the guest. Elizabeth shrugged her shoulders at him apologetically, and he followed Mrs. Bennet up the stairs. She kept talking to him all the while.
"I'll put you in Lydia's room. It's by far the nicest room in the house."
William heard a soft groan behind him.
"Lydia will sleep with Elizabeth," Mrs. Bennet went on.
Another groan. Elizabeth pulled him back when they got to the landing. "I'm sorry for what you're about to face. It's only one night, remember that."
Mrs. Bennet was still rattling on about something, and she turned to face William with a proud smile. "Here it is. My Liddy has really made something of it. I'm really proud of her." She opened the door, and motioned for William to step inside.
He stepped in and looked around him in amazement. "Ho...lyyyy...o" He managed to keep the exclamation he was about to utter inside. He would have to spend the night in a Leo shrine. Leo was looking down at him from every wall. Needless to say this made William very uncomfortable, not to mention the bright pink furniture and the atmospheric lighting.
"Do you like it?" Mrs. Bennet asked anxiously.
"Ahh, it's..." William shook his head. "Too cool for words, Mrs. Bennet."
Mrs. Bennet beamed and Elizabeth, who avoided this room like the plague, started coughing.
"Yours?" Caroline asked, her eyes huge.
"I had nothing to do with it, honestly. I thought she'd put you in the guest room."
"Why do you have a double bed?" she asked.
"Because I'm over 1.90, and beds are 1.90. I can sleep a bit diagonally in this one."
"What do we do now?" Caroline asked.
"I don't know. Wait here," he said, and he walked downstairs. "Mum, can I have a word?"
His mother followed him into the kitchen.
"Uhh," he fidgeted. "Is the guestroom still free?"
"No, your aunt and uncle are in there."
"David's room?"
"No, David and Vicky went to a concert and they will be back later." His mother looked puzzled. "Is something wrong?"
"Uhh, no. Forget I asked."
"Richard...is this to do with Caroline?"
"I just wondered why you put her in my room," he said.
"My experience with David and Edward has been that every time I put their girlfriends in the guestroom, in the morning I'd meet them coming out of the boys' rooms. There is obviously no point in putting girls in the guestroom."
"Oh. Good night."
"Good night." His mother still looked puzzled when he left.
"I think you are going to have to stay here," Richard said to Caroline. "If you don't mind."
"Why would I mind? No harm in sharing a double bed, is there?" Caroline said casually, starting to change into her silk pyjamas. She saw his uncomfortable look. "What?"
"Uhh nothing."
"You saw me in my bikini."
"Yes, but that was on the beach, not in my bedroom."
Caroline had her pyjamas on and stared at the bed. "How diagonally do you sleep? Am I supposed to do that too?"
"I'm sure we can find a good solution," he said.
Part 47
"Wait," Richard said again, and he disappeared for the second time.
"Again?" Caroline called after him as she heard him bounce down the stairs. It was half past twelve, and she was really tired. "Tough luck," she muttered, and slid beneath the covers. "Comfortable!"
Five minutes later Richard returned again. "I forgot to dump my dirty laundry in the bathroom," he explained, and started to unbutton his shirt.
Caroline watched him throw his shirt carelessly on the floor. "It will wrinkle," she warned him.
He shrugged. "Mum will iron it."
"Argh! You male chauvinist pig!"
Richard grinned. "I might do it myself, don't worry. Where are my pyjamas?" he asked, looking around as if he expected them to come flying. He walked to the bed and leant across Caroline to look under the other pillow.
Caroline inspected him closely. "Say, how many crunches a day do you do?"
"Argh!" he pressed his folded pyjamas against his stomach. "I'm not a piece of meat! Put away that magnifying glass. Damn! I still have a hundred to do before I go to bed. I forgot." He pulled on his pyjamas and sat down on the floor to do his abdominal crunches. When he had finished, he lay down on top of the covers to show Caroline the justification of having a double bed. "See? I don't fit in."
"How do you propose..." she began.
"I won't propose. I want to be proposed to," he grinned.
"Argh!"
"That is definitely your new word."
"I meant, how are you planning on sleeping then?" Caroline asked.
Richard swung his legs to the other corner of the bed, over Caroline's, so he lay diagonally. "Like this?"
This started a pillow fight that lasted for quite a long while.
"I have to sleep in there?" William asked Elizabeth with a disgusted expression, after Mrs. Bennet had gone down again.
"Yes, I guess so. Where is Lydia? I don't want her to go to bed at two or something when I'm going right now. Lydia," she yelled.
"Yes?" Lydia appeared at the bottom of the stairs.
"Come up here. William has to sleep in your bed, so please remove your stuff from it." Lydia's bed was filled with magazines, fluffy toys, and homework.
"I don't want no William in my bed," Lydia said in a petulant voice.
"Mum says he has to sleep there," Elizabeth told her.
"I bet you'd rather have him, though," Lydia remarked shrewdly, seeing a chance to escape from tidying her room.
"Yes, but Mum --"
"Stuff Mum! She sleeps downstairs. She never comes up here much. Anyway, I don't see her coming into your room in the middle of the night to drag William out of it, haha," Lydia giggled. "Besides, I don't wanna sleep in your room because you got not tv. I can't miss Teletubbies tomorrow at five past seven. They're just too cute!"
"So, Lydia...you're saying...?" Elizabeth asked her younger sister.
"I want to stay in my own room, and wherever William goes is not my business. Hey, I still owe him one," she winked.
"Thanks, Lydia."
"Yeah, it's okay. Don't do anything weird, now!" She giggled again, and shut her bedroom door behind her.
"You're going to have to sleep on my spare mattress, though," Elizabeth said.
"I don't care. Anything is better than being watched by one hundred Leonardos," William smiled.
The next morning they were woken up by Caroline's phone. "Is that your alarm?" she asked sleepily.
"No. It's a phone."
"Oh hell. It's...in my bag, that I can't reach..." Caroline fished the phone out of her bag, and she answered. "Yes? Sure. Here," she said to him. "Your cousin."
I thought I could call you on Caroline's phone, since she went home with you. Did I wake you up?
"Yes, actually," Richard responded tersely.
Was it fun?
"Extremely. Now, did you have anything important to tell me or do you like to call people up in the middle of the night for fun?" He looked at his clock and saw that it was a quarter past ten. Hardly the middle of the night. He got out of bed and walked towards the door.
Heavy night?
"You could say that. We had a pillow fight. I'm just taking the phone downstairs for a moment, I think Caroline wants to stay asleep."
I just wanted to tell you I survived. Elizabeth is in the shower right now. Our good friend Lydia did me a favour, and I switched with her so I didn't have to sleep in her room, which is absolutely hideous.
"How very interesting. Did you wake me up for that?"
Sorry! I was bored. Go back to your bed. You missed breakfast already, so why bother to get decently dressed to go down. You can stay in bed for another two hours at least.
"I am decently dressed! In my pyjamas." Richard slowly walked into the kitchen where his parents and aunt and uncle were having breakfast. "Want to talk to your aunt?"
Yes, I bet you forgot to say hi from me.
"Oops. Yes, I forgot that. Here, talk to William," he said, handing the phone to his mother.
Richard leaned against the sink, waiting for his mother to finish talking. His mother's sister asked him if he had slept well.
"Oh yes, about nine hours."
"When are you done with school?"
"In about two months," Richard answered.
"And then?"
"I don't know." He was more interested in what his mother replied to William, since he had heard his name.
"...poor you! Yes, William, but I'm sure Richard would have preferred it that way. Oh, no. I don't think so. No. Yes. Really? How nice. Bye!" His mother punched the off button and handed him back the phone.
"What was that about me?" Richard asked.
"Don't be so nosy. It was nothing important."
Part 48
Richard walked back upstairs. He hated it when his mother spoke to other people about him and then refused to tell him what it was all about. He halted outside his bedroom and punched in William's number.
Hello! It was Elizabeth's voice.
"Hi Elizabeth, it's Richard. May I speak to William?"
He's in the shower right now. Should he call you back?
Richard let out a groan.
Are you okay? You sound a little desperate!
"I want to know what he talked about with my mother."
Can't it wait half an hour? When exactly did he talk to your mother?
"Three minutes ago, and they talked about me, but my mother told me not to be nosy," he complained.
Elizabeth laughed. It was probably very innocent.
"Yeah, sure."
I'll tell him to call you back.
"Thanks."
"William," Elizabeth said when he came back. "Richard called and he wants you to call him back."
"Why that? I just spoke to him half an hour ago."
"He wants to know what you said to his mother about him."
"I didn't say anything to his mother."
"You must have, or else he wouldn't call you up especially," Elizabeth reasoned.
"I told my aunt where I was, and then she said something about Richard, and I answered that. That's all. We said nothing Richard doesn't know himself. But, all right. I'll call him back." He punched in Caroline's number. "Funny, I never thought I'd actually call Caroline twice in one day. Oh, hello Caroline," he cringed.
Hi again, William. She sounded just as sleepy as before, but more irritated.
"Can I speak to Richard?"
I think I'd better sell my phone to him. He gets more calls than I do. He doesn't seem to be here. Hang on while I check under the bed. No. He's not here.
"Where is he?"
How would I know? I'm not his nanny.
"Can you try to find him for me?"
I suppose I could.
William heard Caroline sigh, and then he heard her yell. He waited patiently and listened to what happened on the other side.
Richard? Where? Where is the bath? I have William on the line for you. Again. You're in the bath? Okay, shall I tell him to call back? No! No way am I going to hand it to you when you're in the bath. Besides, you locked the door. What? Are you sure? All right then.
It was silent for a full minute, and he wondered what was going on. Then Richard's voice greeted him.
"Finally. What was happening there?" William asked.
I'm in the bath.
"So?"
And the door was locked.
"So?"
I had to open it.
"So?"
And then I had to get back into the bath.
"With the phone."
No, not with the phone.
"Huh?" William was thoroughly puzzled.
It's too complicated for you, I guess. Never mind. I have the phone now. What did you and Mum talk about. She mentioned me!
"Oh, that was about sharing rooms or not sharing rooms."
That's what I thought.
"Geez! You go through all this trouble just to get your suspicions confirmed?"
Yes! And what is worse, we have to go through it once again when Caroline takes the phone back out.
"What?"
Don't you remember that we have these automatically sliding doors in the bathroom? No way am I going to stand before them to hand the phone back. It's not as if I can open them to a tiny crack! No, they go all the way.
"All the way is not your way, eh?" William teased.
Richard gasped. Low, low! Besides, I'd only get comments on my deltoids or whatever.
William made a mental note to look up what deltoids were as soon as possible. "Have fun then," he said doubtfully.
You too.
"Bye."
Bye.
Part 49
"You are weird," he complained. "Not for dissecting, I hope?"
"No!"
"Good! Because I would object to that." The phone rang again. "If that's William again, I'm not here."
"Hello," Caroline answered the phone.
It's William. Is Richard around?
"Not again!" Caroline said in an exasperated tone. "No, he isn't."
Sorry. I just wanted to tell him I looked up deltoids in Elizabeth's father's encyclopaedia.
"And?"
Well, nothing. That was it. Oh yeah, why the bizarre trick to get the phone into the bathroom? Is he so prudish? I thought you were his girlfriend.
"Yes," said Caroline, who was getting enough of William's questions and insinuations. "We're getting married in four years, and you're invited, but we are not going to do anything until our wedding day so stop fishing. Good bye, William." She pressed the red button and lay back on the bed.
"Was he nosy again?"
"Yes. Are you going to put me in the guestroom next time?" Caroline asked.
"My mother says there is no point in putting girls in the guestroom, because they will inevitably end up in their boyfriend's room," Richard said, struggling to put on his jeans under the cover of the towel around his waist.
"Was that her experience of you, or your brothers?"
"My brothers. You're the first and the last girl I bring home."
"You're going off women?" Caroline cried.
"I'm already off women, as you put it. Ever since you dumped me." Richard's eyes twinkled.
Caroline looked at him with her mouth wide open. "You're gay? Is that why you didn't as much as lay a finger on me? All the time I keep thinking you are wonderful, and it's all because you're gay! Argh!"
He laughed and fell on the bed. "I'm wonderful?"
"Not anymore now! Argh!"
"I'm not gay," he said when he could speak coherently again.
"Argh!"
"I thought that would please you?" Richard asked.
"No! I would never have told you what I told you just now if I had not thought you were gay!" Caroline looked distressed. "You did not hear that, all right?"
"But I did."
"I didn't mean it." She looked flustered. "And it doesn't matter anyway, since you are off women. Are you going to become a monk?"
He laughed again. "No."
"Then why are you off women?"
"I am off other women, not off you."
"Argh!" Caroline cried. She hid her face under a pillow. "I practically told you what I felt... I want to die!" It sounded a little muffled from under the pillow.
Part 50
Once William had gotten used to Mrs. Bennet, he found he could survive his stay at Elizabeth's parents' house quite well.
"I'll come to drink tea with you sometime soon, Elizabeth," Mrs. Bennet said, when her daughter was about to leave again.
"I discovered a really nice pub," Elizabeth answered.
"Not a pub! You can't take your mother into a pub! What will everyone think? They'll think that we don't give you enough money to buy a watercooker. Or they'll think we have come there to pick up men. We'll drink tea in your room of course."
"That may have been so when you were young," Elizabeth said irritably. "But most people nowadays go there to have a drink." She did not want her mother to see her arrangement with William just yet. She'd fly off the handle and start planning a wedding date. "I'd rather take you to a pub. None of my roommates ever have their parents over for tea. They'd think it very strange if we didn't go to a pub."
"What about your parents, William?" Mrs. Bennet asked.
"They live abroad."
"Don't they ever come?"
"Yes, they're coming tomorrow because my cousin is getting married next Saturday."
"Oh! How lovely. You know, maybe we'll have one of Elizabeth's cousins marrying soon too!"
"Who?" Elizabeth asked. Most of her cousins were younger than she was.
"Jane! She has a boyfriend."
"Jane? No way is she getting married soon!"
Mrs. Bennet looked puzzled. "But she has been looking at houses. Her mother told me so herself. She's been looking at places where Jane could live after her marriage."
"Uhh yeah! She's going to live together with Charles, but she's not getting married!" Elizabeth said.
"Ohh!" Mrs. Bennet gasped. "How shocking. Young men these days are so immoral."
"You'd love my cousin, Mrs. Bennet. He's going to live in celibacy with his fiancée for four years. So you see there are still young men with decent morals around," William said. "Good-bye," he said politely, before she could ask him anything about his own morals.
"How many cousins do you have?" Elizabeth said as they drove away. "Richard, the marrying one, the celibate one..."
"Actually, I was talking about Richard. I had Caroline on the phone and I was asking her about their bizarre schemes to pass each other the phone, and she told me they were getting married in four years and that they were not going to do anything until then, so I could stop fishing."
"You are too gullible," Elizabeth laughed. "Didn't you say they slept in the same bed?"
"Yes, but I suppose they literally slept. We'll see next week when we stay with his parents for the wedding. I'm going to pick up my parents from the airport tomorrow. Maybe you could come to have dinner with us on Tuesday? If you want?"
"Do they know about me?"
"If they have listened to me, they do."
"Would they mind if I came?"
"I don't think so, and anyway," he grinned. "They are too well-bred to show anything other than pleasure."
"Oh thanks! Now I'll never know if they like me or not."
"They will! I'm sure of it," William said confidently.
The other two had stayed true to Caroline's words, and they had not done anything. Richard remembered to invite Caroline to his brother's wedding, and she was happy to notice that his parents had already assumed that she would be coming. They parted with Richard promising that he would call her about next Friday, because they would go down to his parents on Friday.
Part 51
William took Elizabeth to have dinner with his parents. She was a little nervous, but it turned out to be unnecessary, because Mr. and Mrs. Darcy were very nice, if a little quiet at first. They did not ask her too many questions, contrary to her own mother, who had put William through some kind of cross-examination. They asked her a little about her studies, her hobbies, and other normal things.
"I understand you're also coming to the wedding, Elizabeth," said Mrs. Darcy when they were having tea after dinner. "Georgiana told me."
"Yes," Georgiana smiled shyly. "That's one more person I'll know."
"But it's a family wedding," Elizabeth said. "Don't you know your family?"
Georgiana turned red. "Yes, but I don't know the other family. I don't know what they'll be doing. Sometimes they mix the parties up for dinner, you know, and then I'll have to ride a car or carriage and share a table with total strangers."
"I am sure the person who arranges that will know you don't like that, won't he?" Elizabeth asked. "Or she?"
"I don't know. Maybe it's someone from the other family, and they don't know me. We only got an invitation, and it didn't give any details."
"Well, I think you shouldn't worry. If you do get seated with total strangers, I'll swap with you, okay? If I'm with someone you know, that is," Elizabeth laughed.
"That's nice of you, Elizabeth," Mrs. Darcy said. "And you know even less people than Georgiana does. Don't you mind?" She was used to her children being rather problematic in that area.
"Oh, no."
"Did you like them?" William asked when they were on their way home again. He sounded a bit anxious.
"Yes, I did."
"Good. I'm glad."
"Why?"
"I don't know. I just want you to like them."
Elizabeth smiled bitterly. "Yes, I'd like you to like mine too, but my mum...you know."
"Oh. I'll get used to that, I guess," William frowned. "She wasn't that bad. What will you be wearing?"
"I don't know yet," she said pensively. "I've thought about it, but I wasn't sure if I was expected to wear a skirt or not."
"I guess so. My family's pretty fond of formal occasions."
"Okay. A skirt or a dress it is then. I'd have to buy one first, though. Will you come with me?"
"Ugh," said William. "Is that really necessary? Can't you take a girl?"
"No! I want you to tell me if it looks okay on me. You're the one who's taking me to that wedding, after all."
"Ugh. Well, okay then."
It was already late when they got home, but Elizabeth saw that Caroline was still up. She knocked on her door. Caroline in pyjamas opened the door. "Yes?" she said.
"What are you wearing on Saturday?" Elizabeth asked. She figured Caroline would have some idea about what she could wear.
"I don't know," Caroline frowned. "I hadn't really considered it yet. How stupid of me. I only have Friday to buy something. Oh!" She gasped. "What if I don't find anything then?"
"William and I are going shopping together, maybe you could call Richard."
"Oh, yes." Her face fell. "He can't take weekdays off. They'll never let him take Friday off to go shopping."
"You could try, though. You never know."
Caroline bit her lip. "He's probably in bed by now, but you're right. I could try. I'll try. Do you think he's in bed yet?"
"Uhh...I don't know him well enough to know his bedtime habits. You'd have to try."
"Yes, I'll do that. I hope he's not in bed yet. I'll try."
"Right now," Elizabeth said. "He might have fallen asleep in the ten seconds you've been speculating, you know."
"Right." Caroline walked to the phone at the end of the corridor and lifted the receiver off the hook. "Umm...could you..." she said to Elizabeth who was still standing within earshot.
"What?"
"Go?"
"What do you mean?" Elizabeth asked. "To my room?"
"Yes! I can't call when you're listening, okay?" Caroline said quickly.
"Okay," Elizabeth giggled -- Caroline was too bizarre. She walked back to her room and closed the door audibly.
Caroline looked relieved and looked up the number, as if she did not know it by heart.
"Sanderson. "
"Can I speak to...umm --" She had better say Fitzie straight away. "Fitzie?"
"Are you sure? You seemed to hesitate a little there."
"Yes, I want Fitzie. Why can't you people ever answer the phone in a normal way?" Caroline said in irritation. "I want Fitzie!"
"Oh boy! You sound desperate and it's only Tuesday! You really want him badly. Fitzie! Wake up! There's a lady that absolutely and totally wants you right now, over the phone. Hurry!"
Caroline cursed Sanderson. Were there no normal people in the Academy? Was it really an Academy and not some mental home? She was beginning to have serious doubts about Richard's mates.
"Yes?" It was Richard's voice, and he sounded pretty sleepy.
"Richard?"
"Yes. Hi Caroline."
"I don't know what to wear," she blurted out.
Richard gave the cliché male response. "Then don't wear anything. I won't mind."
"Richard!" Caroline cried down the line. "Ugh! I mean on Saturday. Can you take a day off to go shopping with me?"
"What?"
"Friday?" she pleaded.
"Yes." Richard was struggling to wake up and think clearly. He had just promised Caroline he would come, but either the general would have to break his leg and cancel his visit, or he would have to figure out something else to duck the general's visit.
"Great! Because I don't know what to wear."
"When?"
"I don't know. As soon as you're released from that institution there."
"That'll be on Thursday night, if you don't mind." Richard thought that maybe could say to his superiors that he was needed on Friday. He would not miss any classes, just that stupid general.
They would have the whole Friday to go shopping, Caroline thought. "Perfect. When will you get here?"
"Uhh...half past seven?"
"Okay," Caroline sounded a lot happier. "Thank you! You have saved my day, uhh, night. It's so late. I'm really sorry to have woken you."
"That's all right. Dream of me, then."
"I will."
"And I'll dream of you, maybe." He knew he would. "Since you're the last person I spoke to," he added quickly.
"Yes."
"Bye."
"Bye."
Part 52
William and Elizabeth went shopping on Thursday. William absolutely hated shopping, and he fervently hoped that Elizabeth would find something in the first shop.
He was not so lucky.
They checked P&C, C&A, H&M, and V&D, but before William could make any comment on originality of naming the company after two people, Elizabeth dragged him off to The Sting, Lady Sting, Steps, DiDi, NafNaf and some less well-known chains. They had to go into every shop that sold clothes, and often into different outlets of the same chain. William did not really see the point of this, but Elizabeth argued that they could have missed what was sold out in one outlet, and that was why they had to go into the identical other shop.
He was immensely glad that she walked past a shop called Sissy-Boy. That did not exactly sound like the sort of shop he would want to be seen to enter. Imagine walking the streets with clothes in a Sissy-Boy bag. Or worse, "where did you buy your new outfit?" and then me saying, "at Sissy-Boy." He shuddered and looked inside. Loads of other people did not seem to have any qualms about that, and they all entered.
He did not like waiting for Elizabeth while she tried something on either. He aimlessly lifted a hanger off a rack and examined the piece of clothing that hung on it. He thought it was Winter, but perhaps this was meant to go underneath something else. He stared wide-eyed when a girl wearing exactly this thing pushed her curtain aside and walked out to look at herself in the mirror. Apparently it was meant to be worn alone. He shivered as he thought of that poor girl and how cold her stomach would be.
"Can I help you?" a girl asked.
"No." Do I look like I'm waiting for someone or do I look like I'm waiting for someone?
"Is your girlfriend trying something on?"
"Yes."
"Is everything going all right?"
"Yes," William said. He jealously looked at the row of men, young and old, who were standing just outside. They were smart -- they were not being bothered -- they were standing outside in the open air -- they did not have to listen to this awful background music.
Elizabeth came out, wearing a dress. "Well?" she asked, making a swift turn.
"Oooohhh! cried the shop assistant. "You look beautiful!"
William was very tempted to tell that girl that Elizabeth always looked beautiful and that it had nothing to do with the dress, but he didn't say anything. "It's a great dress," he answered in response to Elizabeth's look.
"But do you like it? Do you like it better than the other dresses I've tried on?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Or shall I keep looking a little longer?"
William groaned silently. Anything but that! "No, no, I really like it." He did. It was by far the best dress she had tried on so far.
"Shall I take it then?" Elizabeth asked. "I rather like it."
"It looks great on you," the shop assistant interrupted as soon as she saw an opportunity to spout one of her memorised lines.
"William?"
"Yes?"
"Shall I take it?"
"Yes, take it," William said. He was happy that the day was finally ending, and it was not even midday yet. He was getting hungry too. Suddenly a thought struck him. Shoes! Elizabeth would need new shoes to go with it as well. Oh damn!
"What is it?" Elizabeth asked curiously.
"Shoes," he mumbled.
"Yes, we'll go shoe-hunting in a minute," she kissed him. "Hang on in there." Elizabeth disappeared to change out of the dress.
When they had paid for the dress and were finally out in the open air, William announced he was hungry. "Let's buy a Mario sandwich," he said. Walking past the Italian sandwiches always made his mouth water.
"And where will we sit to eat it? In the street? No, let's go to La Place. They've got delish food," Elizabeth pleaded.
They had a long lunch at La Place, which was also a great starting point for the shoe-hunt. Buying shoes took just as long, and it was four o'clock when Elizabeth finally had all her clothes shopping done. "Yay, what do we do now? Do we go home or do we go out?"
"At four? We'd better go home."
"All right! I'll cook you dinner today, deal?"
"It was your turn anyway," William retorted.
"Well, then I'll make it extra nice."
Elizabeth cooked William an elaborate dinner and they ate it with only the Christmas tree lights on. There wasn't actually a tree, but the lights were decorating the kitchen perennially and during intimate dinners they took the place of candles. Jane, Charlotte and Caroline were cooking too, but they did not complain about the lack of light.
The downstairs doorbell rang, and Charlotte walked into the corridor to pick up the receiver. "Some guy is coming up for you, Caroline."
"What?" Caroline looked puzzled. "I'm not expecting any guys right now."
"You're expecting some later then? Oh! Is that why you're cooking a triple dose?"
"Trrring!" the door bell rang in the kitchen.
"Well, go get him," Charlotte urged Caroline. "There he is. Oh!" she called after Caroline. "It could be Colin as well. He said he'd drop by later when everyone was home because he wanted to know if anyone played Quake."
It was Colin.
"Yes?" Caroline asked curtly.
"Can I come in?"
"Why?"
"Do you play Quake?" Colin asked.
"What's that? No."
"Hey, fancy going out with me tonight? It's Thursday, the pub night."
"No."
"Why not? I'll pay all your drinks. I'll even take you to the cinema," Colin pleaded.
Footsteps on the stairs approached and Richard came into sight. Caroline saw him and felt totally embarrassed. Here she was and some nerd was asking her out. Colin had not seen him yet, and he pleaded on. "I'll even buy you mixes, and you know they are twice as expensive as beer. And," he said dramatically, "I won't kiss you in the first four hours, I swear."
"If you won't, I will," Richard said as he pushed Colin aside to grab Caroline and kiss her on the mouth. Colin looked on open-mouthed as the kissing pair stumbled inside and pulled the door shut behind them. Wolf whistles and four heads peering around the kitchen door greeted them inside and they quickly parted.
"Wow wow wow! What an entrance!" Elizabeth shouted down the corridor. "Encore!"
Caroline dearly wished that her room was near the front door, but unfortunately hers was very close to the kitchen. She almost ran the distance, not looking at her roommates. She was sure she was beet red. Richard followed her a little more slowly. He closed the door behind him.
Part 53
"Huuuuuh," Richard inhaled audibly. "Did you see that look on his face?"
"Uhh, no. I had my eyes closed," Caroline admitted.
"He's probably still standing there looking stupid. Shall we do it again so you can see it too?"
"Yes," Caroline said brazenly. Her mouth seemed to be disconnected from her brain after that kiss, or she would not have suggested such an incomprehensible thing.
"What? I was joking." Richard was a little taken aback at her enthusiastic response.
"I wasn't, but we don't have to go there. We could stay here too."
That was all the encouragement he needed.
Somebody knocked on the door. "Caroline? Your dinner's burning!"
Caroline had lost all sense of time and she had completely forgotten that she had been cooking when Richard came. She tried to leave Richard to go to the kitchen, but it was difficult. "I'll be right back," she promised, and ran to the door. They were all outside it with huge smiles on their faces. "Damn. Go away," she tried. "I have to go and see about that burning dinner."
"No need," William said.
"You two sit on the bed and close your eyes," Elizabeth ordered.
"Why?" Caroline asked.
"Because we say so!" said Jane. They obeyed. "And keep them closed! Lie down on that bed face down, that's better."
Jane had been keeping an eye on Caroline's dinner and she had suggested to her roommates that they deliver it to Caroline's room because she was probably too busy to think of it. The rest had all agreed to cooperate, and they now placed everything on Caroline's table. Charlotte had even dug up some candles. When they had arranged everything, they left the room, and Jane called that they could look now, just before she closed the door.
"Whoa!" Richard exclaimed. "The lights are off. Oh! Candles."
"Candles?" Caroline raised her face from the bed. "Candles. I guess that kiss really inspired them. My dinner didn't burn then?"
Richard walked over and peered into the pan. "No."
"Oh man."
"What?"
"Nothing. I was just thinking that it was really nice of them."
Elizabeth came home from a tutorial on Friday morning and ran into a very sleepy Richard in pyjamas in the corridor. He squinted against the light and blinked. She suppressed a mischievous smile. Caroline had been so desperate to go shopping, and yet it was past eleven and they were still in bed. "Did you enjoy your dinner, Richard?" she could not resist asking.
"Yes, I loved it. Caroline is a great...cook," he replied smugly.
"Really? And I hope one of us didn't accidentally mix any sleeping pills through your dinner," she hinted at the late hour.
"How sad," he said in a sad tone. "I get to stay the night with my girlfriend and her roommates mix sleeping pills through our dinner. Thanks a lot."
"I heard from William that you weren't going to do anything anyway, so it doesn't matter if we did, does it?"
"Yeah, duh!" Richard answered sarcastically. "William! He goes from one extreme to the other. First he believes that I slept with 97 girls, and now he believes that I will save myself until my marriage."
"Well, will you?"
"I don't know that yet, but I think not," said Richard before he could check himself. "What business is it of yours anyway?"
"Just curious, sorry. Would you want coffee too? I'm about to make some."
"Will it still be warm in half an hour?"
Elizabeth nodded. "I think so. Will you have enough time to go shopping? William and I spent the whole day shopping yesterday."
"Shopping? William? Did you brainwash him? Put him on sedatives? Promise him something in return?"
"Yes, I cooked him dinner."
"Did he enjoy his dinner, Elizabeth?" Richard could not resist asking, referring to her earlier question.
Part 54
William and Elizabeth, his parents, and Georgiana all squeezed into one car to go to the wedding. Georgiana was in a festive mood, and she even had enough courage to say, "Why isn't my brother getting married? Then we wouldn't have to sit on top of each other like this, because then we'd already be there."
"I'm sure you wouldn't want me to marry yet, Georgiana," said William.
"Why not?" Georgiana cried.
"Because then you wouldn't have anyone to tease anymore!" her brother said.
Georgiana stuck out her tongue. "I could tease you about other things then, I'm sure. I'll find something, don't worry."
"Oh! I had hoped you would find other people to tease," William sighed.
"Like who?"
"I don't know! Other people."
"Who do you tease then?" she asked. "Apart from me, that is."
"Well, I tease Charles..." William began. "He's a grateful object. He never gets angry with me and does enough stupid things to tease him with."
"And your cousin," Elizabeth added.
"Richard?" Georgiana asked. "Oh wow. Maybe I could tease him too. I'm not afraid of him -- I always call him Colonel and he never minds if I do. He calls me General Georgiana, which means I rank higher. Ha! What do you tease him with? The Mental Academy?"
"No, his love life," Elizabeth snickered.
"Ohh!" Georgiana squealed. "That's mean though! You should be glad that he has one!"
"How do you know that he has?" William asked.
"Dummy! I talked to Aunt Sarah on the phone. She told me. I had to call her about the arrangements. You know I do not like to sit with people I don't know, but she promised me she would see to it that I wouldn't have to. She read me the whole guest list and she marked the people I knew, so she said she'd try to place me with them."
"By the way, I like your clothes," Elizabeth said to her. "Did you get them new?"
"Well, I got this jacket new, but I already had the pants and the blouse. Oh! And the shoes are new too. And my earrings. Do you like my earrings?"
"Yes, I like them very much."
Georgiana looked pleased. "I've called them my 'wedding-earrings' so I'll only wear them at weddings."
"Nudge nudge, wink wink," said William.
"Oh, stop it, you idiot. You constantly feel nudged and I'm not even nudging. The mouth overflows from what is in the heart," Georgiana stuck out her tongue. "Ill doers are ill deemers."
"Huh?" William looked puzzled. "What did you say?"
"Never mind, if you are too stupid to understand what I mean."
"Georgiana!" Mrs. Darcy chided from the front seat.
"Yes, mum?"
"Don't call William stupid."
"But he is!" Georgiana protested.
Part 55
The Darcys arrived at the Fitzwilliams at an awfully early hour, it seemed. The door was opened by Richard in a dressing gown and pyjamas. "Hullo," he greeted. "Welcome to the madhouse. Hello Aunt, Uncle."
"Why madhouse?" Mrs. Darcy asked. "I don't see anybody stressing here."
"Aunt Catherine is here already. She stayed the night," Richard whispered. "In the guestroom, with Anne."
"Where is she? Is she up yet?"
"Yes, she is supervising the placing of the chairs in the living room, probably."
"Anne?" Aunt Catherine called out to her sister. "How have you been? Aren't you glad to be back in the country?"
"I'm going back to bed," Richard announced to his cousins and Elizabeth. "If you want to join Anne and the old people, that's okay. You may also join me, though."
"I think I'd rather join you," said Georgiana eagerly.
"Georgiana, I think Grandma and Grandpa would want to see you," William said. "They'd be offended if you hopped into bed with Richard to watch cartoons." He had seen his grandparents' car outside.
"Actually, I'm not watching cartoons. Caroline doesn't like them," said Richard.
"Oh, another reason why you shouldn't go with him," said Elizabeth.
"Alright," Georgiana said grudgingly. "I'll bore myself to death with a cup of tea."
They followed their parents and Aunt Catherine into the living room. It was quite big, and a lot of extra chairs had been placed next to the couches to accommodate the whole family. There were already quite a few people there. Elizabeth saw Anne, and four people who were obviously grandparents, and then two more people she did not know, a boy who was a bit younger than Georgiana, and a small dog. Georgiana quickly sat down near one set of grandparents, because they were the only people she knew. Elizabeth sat down between William and Anne, and she was introduced to William's grandparents who were very interested.
"Oh! More marriages soon, dear?" Grandma Fitzwilliam asked of her daughter Anne. "All our grandchildren are so big already! David getting married, William with a girlfriend!"
"And Richard," said Richard's mother.
"What? Is he getting married too?"
"No, but he has a girlfriend."
"Oh, where is he? We have not seen him yet," said Grandpa Fitzwilliam.
"He wasn't dressed yet," said Georgiana.
"I wish he'd hurry," Richard's mother sighed. "How was the drive?" she asked while she poured her brother- and sister-in-law a cup of coffee.
"Not too busy," said Mr. Darcy. He began to talk to the other men about something and the grandmothers spoke to Elizabeth and William, even if one of the grandmothers had nothing to do with them at all. Aunt Catherine interfered in all conversations, but most of all in those of the two Annes. Georgiana felt a bit left out of everything and decided to find out where the Fitzwilliam boys were. None of them were downstairs. She climbed the stairs and was hit by a small basketball. "Ouch!" she exclaimed. "Where did that come from?"
"Here!" a voice called from one of the bedrooms.
"Hello, Eddie!" she cried and threw the ball back at her cousin who was watching cartoons from his bed.
"Don't call me Eddie," he replied.
"Why aren't you dressed yet?" she asked curiously.
"David's in the bathroom," Edward answered with a yawn.
"David's been in there since six o'clock!" Richard shouted from his own bedroom.
"I'll go and see Richard for a minute," she announced. "But I'll be back. This is my favourite cartoon." Georgiana stepped out.
The bathroom door opened and David stuck his wet head out. "I have not been in here since six. And may I remind you that I'm getting married? I have to look my best!"
"As if Vicky hasn't already seen you at your worst!" Edward shouted.
"Shut up! You're still single!" David retorted.
"Vicky's already seen you wake up. It can't get any worse!" Richard shouted.
"Shut up! You're --"
"-- still single!" Edward called to Richard. "Hahaha!"
"Oh yeah? I am the only one with a girl in his bed."
"Oh yeah?" Edward shouted back. "Eh, George, jump in," he said to Georgiana. "No, you're not! I have Georgiana!"
"Disqualified!" David called.
"David, get dressed!" Richard shouted. "And Eddie, Georgiana doesn't count. She's family. Caroline is not."
"No? Have you got beyond the platonic stage yet, Richie?"
"Have you? With you non-existent girlfriend, Eddie? Go watch cartoons, brother!"
"Oh, you lot are so nice to each other, I love it," Georgiana said with shining eyes. "Do you really like each other at all?"
"Yeah," said Edward with his eyes on the screen. He burst out laughing when he saw something funny. "We are brothers! Don't you do this with William?"
"No?"
"That's sad. Maybe we could adopt you? To take the weight of all the teasing off our baby Richard?"
Part 56
"Why?" Georgiana asked. "Are you always picking on Richard then?"
"Yes, he is the youngest, and he has of course been carrying on most interestingly with his ex there," Edward nodded towards Richard's bedroom.
"Oh! Tell! I know very little about it."
"There is nothing to tell. That's what makes it interesting. There was nothing to the whole relationship two years ago and there is nothing to it now, but Mum dotes on her sons' girlfriends because she has no daughters. She doesn't care if they won't produce any grandchildren."
"Why won't they?" Georgiana was intrigued and all kinds of strange illnesses and coincidences shot through her mind.
"Hehe!"
"What, hehe?"
"If you don't get, cousin, it's not my place to explain."
Georgiana pulled a face and jumped off the bed. She walked to Richard's room. "Are you and your brothers genetically infertile?" she asked in a very sympathetic tone.
"Georgiana?" Richard looked baffled. "What are you talking about?"
"Well, Edward says -"
"Oh, When has Edward been known to bring forth more than two syllables that made sense?"
"Edwards says none of you can have children."
"Edward? What nonsense is that?" Richard exclaimed, and even Caroline looked up from polishing her nails.
"Don't kill me! " Georgiana said indignantly. "I'm just reporting what he said. He said Aunt Sarah will never have any grandchildren."
"Not from dear Eddie's line, no. He has a bit of trouble finding a girl."
Edward had left his bed and showed up at the door. "Don't listen to Georgiana. She's distorting my words. I didn't say all Fitzwilliam men were all infertile at all."
"Just you?"
"Nah! Just you wait until I get famous and you'll see how many claims for child support I get! They just know that there is nothing to claim yet. I meant that -"
"I know what you meant," Caroline said calmly, waving her drying nails menacingly. "Care to explain it in plain words?"
Edward backed off upon seeing her bright red claws. "I'd rather not, thank you. I really didn't mean anything. Oops, I see David coming out of the shower now, my turn! Bye!"
While David's smart appearance was being admired downstairs, Edward was taking a shower, and Richard was bouncing a ball off Caroline's head, Georgiana was looking through one of his books.
"Do you like my dress, Georgiana?" Caroline held it up, now and then ducking to avoid the ball.
"Yes, it's lovely."
Richard heaved himself off the bed and produced his suit. "Do you like mine as well?"
"Yes, it's lovely too. You should wear it more often!"
"Not yet," Richard answered. "Hello! It's getting crowded in here," he greeted William and Elizabeth. "Come in. I hope you haven't come to watch cartoons."
"Cartoons may be watched from Edward's bed," said Caroline. "It's free, because he's taking a shower."
William looked at his watch. "David was getting a bit nervous because we're leaving in an hour and you idiots -his words, not mine - weren't dressed yet."
"Come on! We don't need an hour. And Caroline has already done her nails so that should make a difference."
"Were they nice to you, Elizabeth?" asked Richard, who had had to listen to his Aunt Catherine's opinion on girlfriends the night before.
"Yes, I like them."
"You haven't met his brother yet," Caroline mumbled as she picked up her things. "He's finished showering, by the way."
"You may shower," Edward peeked around the door.
"You go first," Richard waved to Caroline. "I can't find my towel."
Georgiana threw it at him. "Sorry, I was sitting on it."
"Yes, but my other things..."
"You're going to have to go together," Edward urged. "We are late. Go, go," he pushed his brother out of the room and looked at the others conspiratorially. "You'd think the wedding would put them in a more romantic mood, but you see how I had to push him, and it has no effect on them at all. Or should I say on her? Girls are usually all over him."
"Maybe they are just shy," Elizabeth suggested and they discussed this possibility for a while until Richard returned.
"There's lipstick on your mouth," Edward teased.
Richard did not flinch. "Impossible," he said with certainty.
"Oh right," said William. "You weren't going to do anything for the next four years, were you? Stupid question, Eddie."
"What's that about the next four years?" Edward asked. "That's the first I hear about it!"
"That's why he can't have lipstick on his mouth, because he would have had to put it there himself," William explained.
"Wrong! Just kiss before she puts it on," Richard said and ran out of the room before he would be pressed to explain. They heard him bounce down the stairs, and then shrugged.
"Of course, Richard. As if!"
Georgiana got up. "Well, I think I am going downstairs. After all, I only came up to tell you to get dressed and that mission is accomplished!"
"Are you going to hold a speech, Edward?" William asked.
Edward wrinkled his nose and guffawed. "Please, no! You?"
"No!"
"Good. I practised a little royal wave for when we're in the carriages." He sat down on the bed and waved at the crowds ridiculously.
"Great!" said Elizabeth. "They're going to phone the mental hospital to see if anyone's missing."
"Who are you, by the way?" Edward asked curiously. "Here I am chatting to you and I have never seen you before in my life."
"Elizabeth."
"Edward," he bowed and she giggled. "You have got to be with William. Mike's a bit too young for you, I think."
"Who's Mike?"
"Oh, hasn't he arrived yet? About fourteen. My mother's sister's son."
"Oh, him," said Elizabeth. "He's walking his dog with Anne."
"Or is he walking Anne with his dog?"
Part 57
They were all taken to the Town Hall in carriages. William and Elizabeth shared with Georgiana and Mike, and Richard and Caroline with Edward and Anne.
"When are your mates going on a pub crawl again?" Edward asked. "Tell me and I'll come. I'll bring Anne too," he said, because he knew Anne would not go in a million years.
"What?" an alarmed Anne asked.
"Every Thursday night," Richard answered.
"I'm not going," Anne said quickly.
"Why not? Caroline will come."
"Oh?" Caroline asked.
"You will, won't you?" Richard asked pleadingly.
"Every Thursday night?" she said doubtfully. "I'm not sure."
"Not every Thursday. I mean, we go every Thursday, but you're welcome whenever you like."
"Are you going with those Academy idiots?"
"But of course."
"I'm not sure I want to go with them. They keep saying strange things to me. And haven't you got anything better to do than to go out every Thursday?" Caroline asked.
"And Friday, and Saturday," Edward added.
Richard glared at him. "Shut up. I don't go out three days in a row."
"We are going to a wedding," Edward sang. "Stay happy." He leant over and placed Caroline's hand in Richard's. "There!" he smiled brightly as they stared at him blankly. "You wouldn't want any of the other guests running off with your lover, would you? They would never know you are together if you don't show it. Or aren't you together?" he asked doubtfully when they still showed no reaction after a minute. "It's not as easy to tell as with William, although when Richard opens his mouth it's fairly obvious -"
"Why?" Anne asked with wide eyes. "What's in his mouth?"
Edward could not resist. "His engagement tongue-piercing."
"Show!" Anne exclaimed in horror, and the brothers laughed.
"Anne!" Caroline said in disgust. "Don't be so thick." As if I would have a boyfriend with a tongue-piercing.
"Do you really have a tongue piercing?" Anne asked.
Richard grinned. "What do you think, Anne?"
"You're not the type."
"Right," he grinned. "But I do have a tattoo."
"What?" the other three cried.
"Please, no," Caroline gasped. "Where?"
Richard grinned again. "I can't show that here in the carriage. It would be indecent."
"Oh, yuck." Caroline was obviously disgusted. She was not sure she wanted to marry him still. "Where? And what?"
"I'll show you tonight," he said sweetly.
"No way!" Caroline wanted to know right now.
"Alright. In the toilets as soon as we get to the Town Hall."
"Wahoo!" said Edward with a huge grin. "I think you're finally getting somewhere. If anybody asks where you are, I'll tell them Richard is undressing himself for Caroline in the toilets, because he wanted to show her his --"
"Don't you dare," Richard said emphatically.
"Well, you've got to admit that it sounds a little shady!"
"Whatever it sounds like, it's none of your business."
Caroline frowned. Did Richard not know that she hated tattoos? Maybe if it was small she could forgive him for it, but if it was big, well, that would be a problem, and yet he was grinning as if he was certain that she was not going to make a problem of it at all.
Part 58
It took a while before everybody had descended from the carriages. Most people got out and walked into the hall where the ceremony was to be held, but some paid a short visit to the toilets beforehand. William and Elizabeth went into the hall, where they were shown to the row of seats for not-so-immediate family. They looked around themselves curiously. For both of them it was the first wedding they attended in ages. They wondered where the rest of the family was. There were still so many open places in their row and the row in front. "Where is everyone?" William asked Edward.
"Oh," he grinned wickedly. "I could tell you where two of them are, but they would hit me if I told you. Maybe they're too agreeably occupied, or maybe they are afraid that they'll catch the bouquet or something."
Caroline had dragged Richard off to the ladies' room as soon as they entered the building. Richard grinned all the while, especially since Caroline almost dragged him into a broom closet in her hurry. She pushed him into a toilet, but neglected to check whether there was anybody else around. "Well, show me."
Richard fumbled with his belt. The tattoo was on his hip just above his underwear. "My belt is stuck," he complained. He was not very good at undoing it in a hurry, and they had to hurry, or the wedding would start without them and it would be very rude to barge in on it. He finally bared the spot and showed the little cartoon figure to Caroline.
She examined it critically. "Oh! It's not that big. I could live with that. But still, I wish you wouldn't have one." Her voice sounded a little unhappy.
Richard fished a piece of paper out of his pocket and waved it in front of her eyes with a grin. It was one of those rub-on tattoos. He handed it to her.
"What do I do with it?"
"You rub it."
"Rub it?" she echoed and placed it on the back of her hand.
"Not when it's dry," Richard explained. "It must be a little wet."
Caroline was not going to dip it into the toilet to get it wet, but it was a cute picture and she wanted one on her hip too. "Can I lick it?"
"No, yuck! I don't think that tastes well."
Caroline looked at the piece of paper. "So I can't do it now?"
"We don't have time," Richard said as he fastened his belt again.
"I'll do it tonight," Caroline said. "Neat! I'm glad you showed me. You don't know how worried I was! No way am I going to marry a disfigured man."
Richard gave her a kiss - brief, so they would not be late, and on her cheek, so his brother would not be able to tease him about lipstick. Caroline unlocked the door and stepped out, colliding with Richard's mother, who had just come in. "Oh, hello."
Richard's mother looked rather curious to see Richard follow, but she said nothing. She shrugged and looked into the mirror to adjust her hair. Her sister-in-law Catherine came out of a toilet with a very shocked expression. "Sarah! You do not want to know about this!"
Richard and Caroline walked into the hall, where they took their seats next to the very curious Edward. "Well?" he asked. "Did he lie?"
Caroline bent towards him, placing her hand on Richard's leg to keep him silent. "He's your brother. You should know."
"But I don't!"
"That's your problem."
"He's silly enough to get a tattoo," Edward said, hoping that one of them would react.
William did. "Richard has a tattoo?" he asked interestedly. "Of what?"
"A little heart with Caroline in it?" Elizabeth joined in the discussion.
A general hush sounded through the hall as the ceremony started, and they were forced to postpone their inquiries until later.
Elizabeth was wondering what she would feel when she was sitting there getting married.
William doubted that Richard had really a tattoo.
Georgiana wondered if Richard had also received a tattoo sticker when he bought chewing gum.
Anne was paying attention to the introductory speech.
Edward was wondering where Richard's tattoo was hidden that Caroline had not seen it before.
Caroline was thinking that Richard was an enormous tease.
Richard was absentmindedly twisting a little piece of metal into a circular shape.
His mother was puzzled by one son and proud of the other.
His Aunt Catherine was shocked beyond anything.
Part 59
"Well?" several people burst out after the ceremony was over.
"Well what?" Richard asked.
"Show it."
"Show what?"
"That tattoo."
"No."
"You can't show it to us because you don't have one," William stated smugly.
"It might be in a place that would be very indecent to show to the rest of you."
"Oh yes, Richard. As if you'd walk into a tattoo shop and ask if they could put something on your behind," William said sarcastically. "Who would ever see it? And I assume tattoos are meant to be seen?"
Richard smiled coyly.
Edward took Caroline apart. "Where is it?"
"Like I'd tell you," she snubbed.
"Look, I just don't want my little brother doing weird things because of you."
"He'll never get as weird as you. Pff." Caroline returned to the rest, who were crowded around Richard. He seemed to have finally given in to their questioning, because he was pulling his shirt out of his trousers. "There," he said when he revealed the fake tattoo. "Do you like it?"
"Ohh!" several people cried in amusement, shock and surprise.
"What is going on here?" Richard's father demanded. "What's the attraction?"
"Richard's tattoo," Edward blurted out.
"Now, Dad," said Richard, pulling his father away. "It's not the way it looks..."
"And what do you think of it?" Elizabeth asked Caroline. "I would kill William if he got a tattoo of a male cartoon figure."
"I'd kill Richard if he had a female cartoon figure," Caroline replied dryly.
"How come you hadn't seen it?" Elizabeth asked curiously. "It's not exactly in a place you'd never get to see."
Because he only put it on this morning? Right before he put on his clothes. Caroline thought silently.
"Edward sent you two off to shower together especially."
"Oh! Did Edward know there was a tattoo to be seen?" Caroline said sharply. Sometimes that Edward could be really annoying with all of his hints and interfering.
Aunt Catherine had walked up to Anne. "Anne, they are positively indecent. You come in my carriage now. We'll send one of the people from my carriage to the one you were in."
"You can't do that!" Anne exclaimed. "They might not want to."
"I don't care. I don't want you exposed to their immoral behaviour, and infected by it."
Anne bent her head. It's not as if I'm going to take a tattoo because Richard has one!
Richard had just reassured his father and had returned to overhear his aunt's rave. "Come, Anne. Our carriage is leaving and we don't want you replaced by some granny. Do you want to see my tattoo, Aunt Catherine?" he asked politely. Aunt Catherine wrinkled her nose in disgust and turned without answering. He laughed. "It's a fake, Anne," he whispered. "Don't be shocked." Anne looked relieved, and he sought out Caroline. In the crowd he slipped something onto her finger. It was the little piece of metal he had found on the floor and that he had bent into a ring-like shape.