Beginning, Section II
Chapter The First
Posted on Wednesday, 12 May 1999
Author's Notes: First and foremost, my thanks and apologies to DeeDee, from the Republic of Pemberley. I hope you will not mind my borrowing your beloved heroine, and will think I've done her justice. (That's also the reason this story bears the title of a deceased character. Visit RoP for the explanation.)Also, Lauren D. has greatly assisted this tale by being a constant source of amusement and inspiration. All my thanks.
It is a Truth universally Acknowledged that a young Woman of Moderate Fortune who Throws herself upon a Dagger must leave behind a Grieving and Most Interesting Family.
In such a Case, dear Reader, especially a Case as Tragic as that of the Most Unfortunate Matilda Brumhurst, it falls to me, the Author, to introduce the Scene as it Appears in the Imagination, namely, that of the Grieving and Moderately Wealthy Brumhursts of the ------Shire; consisting of Sir Ebenezer Brumhurst and his wife Margaret, (most Natural Players in this Scene, and for Obvious Reasons, quite Necessary), and the Most Unfortunate Matilda Brumhurst's only slightly Less Unfortunate Sisters, the eldest being Agnes (who was quite Beautiful but also quite Ill-Mannered), and the youngest, Lauren, who having reached the Tender Age of Eighteen and having far better Manners than her Sister, will most likely be the Heroine of our Tale, unless of course Agnes, though being One-and-Twenty and therefore much more deeply Set in her Ways, should suffer a Change of Heart, which she very well Might if the other Players of this Scene become Tedious.
Thus, so it happens, dear Reader, at the Opening of our Scene, the Brumhursts are Commiserating in their Moderately Appointed drawing Room.
'Oh, how I wish our dear Matilda had not Thrown Herself upon her Dagger! for black does not become me half so well as I would like,' sighed the Distraught Agnes.
'Indeed,' her Father replied, 'the cost of the Funeral was quite Dear - for as you know, dear Agnes, our Fortune is but Moderate. Yes, I would have thought it Most Wise for Matilda to have consulted in this Matter before she did anything Rash.'
'Oh! - (cried Matilda's mother, a newly heightened State of Despair, for she has only just Realized that Black was a trying Colour on Herself as well) My foolish child! - to have Shamed us all, to involve us in the Scandal and Disgrace - it is almost too much to Bear! And in Hertfordshire, of all Places! Why could she not have at least Thrown herself off a Cliff in Bath!'
'How much more Romantic it would have Been!' sighed Agnes.
'And how much less Dear,' sighed her Father.
'Dear Agnes, Mama, Father,' replied Lauren, 'Matilda Threw herself upon Her Dagger because you would not let her go to Bath."
'Nonsense!' her mother cried. 'If you will Remember, my senseless Lauren, she was Slighted by a Young Man at a Ball. It had nothing Whatsoever to do with Bath.'
Lauren, though she was not at all Senseless, and was indeed the Wittiest, Kindest, most Sensible, most Learned young Woman her particular Family had known for Generations, kept silent at this Remark, knowing the resulting Conversation could do nothing but Ill to the Dispositions of all Involved.
Agnes, however, who never Lost an Opportunity to Teaze her Sister, and in so doing Prove herself to be by far the wittier, said, 'Indeed, Mama, I cannot help but Wonder at Lauren's poor Memory. Why, I am sure that Next she shall be that she was Left behind when we took the Waters at Bath this Summer!'
'Indeed,' laughed her Mother, 'though it is most certainly Unjust of you to think so, Lauren (as if she herself had spoken the reproof), for you Must Remember that we had the Difficulties with the Steward, and your Father could not very well Look after Them, as he was the Only Reason for our Going at All, and it would have been Most Unfair to Send him off on his Own. Really, Lauren, you should be Kinder to your Father.'
Lauren cast a Glance at her Father, who seemed at least a Little Disconcerted with his wife's Diatribe. Lauren Smiled, for while her father was a trifle Burdened with Worries about keeping their Fortune at its Moderate State, he was not a Fully Unkind man.
Agnes readied her Wit once again, but before she could, there was a Knock at the Door, and their Post arrived.
To Lauren's great Relief, there was a Letter from Lady Kathleen ------, a longtime Friend and Confidante of our Heroine (unless Agnes becomes our Heroine, in which case the Circle of Friends must certainly be altered).
Having Excused herself Most Willingly, and with the Glad Consent of the Remainder of her Family, Lauren took the Letter to read at her Leisure.
It began:
November 15, ---3My Dear Lauren (it Began),
I do hope this Letter finds you Well. I am sorry to hear about your poor Sister. My thoughts and prayers are with you in This, as in All Things. If there is anything I can do to Relieve some of your Family's Burden, do not hesitate to Write.
In that Vein, indeed, runs another Purpose in my Writing. It had occurred to me that the Grief you must Feel could only be Alleviated through a Temporary Respite.
Another Point of Interest, and one that Relates in No Way to any of the Above Musings, is that My Eldest Son has become Engaged to a young Woman of good Standing, and Kind and Jovial Temperament. She is of the Bennets, of Hertfordshire, a place which I know might hold some Sad Remembrances of your Dear Sister, but which Might Still do Wonders for your Health.
I would be Most Honored if you would consider Accompanying me to the Engagement Announcement in two week's time. A number of the most Interesting Families in the Country will be there, I Understand, owing to the Most Fortunate Matches made by the Two Elder Sister, Elizabeth and Jane. (And would you believe, Rumour has it they even Married for Love?)
Please convey my Sincere Regards and Kindest Wishes to your Family.
I remain your very own
Kathleen ------------
Lauren clasped the Letter Joyfully.
'I would Indeed be Interested,' she said to No One in Particular, and went off Immediately to Inform her Family of this Most Unrelated Event, how very Much she would like to Attend, and to Assure her Father that the cost would be Moderate.
The Adventures and Misfortunes of Lauren Brumhurst
(Or 'Chapter the Second')
Lady Kathleen Fenwick called on her Dear Friend Lauren not a Ha'week after Lauren's Grateful Letter of Response indicating that she would Indeed like to Attend the Engagement Announcement, and assuring Lady Fenwick that there was Absolutely No Relation between the Suggestion of a Change of Scenery and this Unexpected, but not Unwelcome, Opportunity.
The most polite and proper Greetings were made on both Sides, the Departing Pair giving best Wishes for Health and Happiness in their Absence, and a Sincere Wish to be Remembered on the part of the Remaining Brumhursts.
'And Lauren,' reminded Agnes (our Heroine-in-Waiting), 'if you see any Red, or Orange, or Purple Cloth while you are at Bath, particularly the Bolt in the Shop Window on Baker Street, be Sure not to Buy it, for such Bright Colours would be Wasted on You; they are Indeed most Trying for most any One but Myself.'
Lauren promised Faithfully not to Purchase any Colours that Might be Trying on her Person, and she and Lady Fenwick Departed.
They had not gone a Considerable Distance when Lauren's Gentle, Witty Curiosity led her to Inquire as to the Circumstances Leading to this Most Felicitous Engagement.
'Indeed,' said the Wise and Well-Mannered Lady, 'I asked the Same Question of my Son himself when he first Informed me of his Engagement.'
'And I suppose the Answer was Satisfactory?'
'It was,' replied the Lady. 'And well do I Know why you have Inquired in such a Manner. At first, I must Admit, I had my Doubts, but when I was Lately in Hertfordshire to Arrange the Announcement, I met with the young Woman in Question and was Most Impressed.'
'Ah. Indeed,' replied Lauren, not Knowing what else to Say. The many Rumours surrounding the Bennet Family Ranged so Erratically in Scope that one could Trust very few Stories to have any Truth in them at All.
'I can see in your Eyes, my dear Lauren, that you are still Puzzled, or at Least are not Satisfied by my Response. So, I shall Elaborate.
'I Knew, as I dare say every one in England Knows, that while half the Bennets seem to be most Sensible and Fortunate Women (much unlike Lauren's own Sister, Matilda, who Yourself dear Reader will Remember came to a Most Unfortunate end at the Point of a Dagger, and whose overwhelming Scandal our dear Heroine is trying to Escape), the Youngest married Quite Badly. And, my dear Lauren, Hope as I did for the Very Best, I still Harboured Doubts as to the Character of any other Bennet Women.
'However, I am Pleased to Say that I have Met Kitty Bennet, and I do think she has Undergone a Most Wondrous Transformation. It seems that after her Youngest Sister's Marriage, her Elder Sisters thought it Best to Separate them both in Body and in Spirit. Thus, Miss Bennet found herself Often in the Company of either Miss Georgiana Darcy or her Uncle Gardiner and his Family. From them, she Learned Tact, Grace, and Elegance; and also Acquired A Generosity of Spirit which many Moralists would say is Impossible to be Learned. However, to the Benefit of all Concerned, Kitty has Proven to be a Most Apt Pupil, and there is Nothing Wanting either in her Manner or her Disposition. I Believe my Son to be a Most Fortunate Man.'
'I am Truly Happy for Him,' said Lauren, Most Sincerely. It had not been Unknown to her that Her Family, and Indeed Lady Fenwick, had long been Wishing an Attachment between Lauren and Gregory Fenwick, Heir to the Fenwick Title and Estates, and not an Unpleasant Gentleman in any Respect. However, while Lauren thought him an Amiable Man in every Thing, she was Determined, to the Great Disappointment of her Family, to Marry only for Love, and with as Little Respect to Money as a Woman of Moderate Wealth can say under Any Circumstances.
'I Knew you would be So. Lauren, you have always been the Jewel of your Family, and One Day I hope to see you Well Married, despite what the Poor Affair of Your Sister has brought upon Yourself.'
Lauren thanked her in a Most Ladylike Way for her Kind Solicitude, and they Talked of Those expected to Attend the Announcement.
Among the Many Names Mentioned were Those of the Bingleys, the Palmers (good Friends of Lady Fenwick since Childhood), The Remaining Bennets, the Gardiners, Admirals Wentworth and Croft and Wives (for Lady Fenwick's Son had Indeed Spent a few Years in the Naval Corps in his More Reckless, Idle Days), and even perhaps the Darcys.
'Georgiana Means to be There, of Course,' assured the Lady, 'but as for her Brother and his Wife - their Honeymoon appears Endless. Rumour has it they Intend to Continue Even into Vienna! and after Six Months! However, Georgiana has written to her Brother, and Kitty to her Sister, and perhaps they will be Coaxed into Returning.'
'Perhaps,' replied Lauren.
But oh! She thought Privately, to be on Honeymoon with One's Much Beloved and Far-More-Than-Moderately Wealthy Husband in a Place where Accomplished Ladies can Make Use of Their Perfect French! Perhaps it is Too Much for Me to Hope. But should such a Most Fortunate Event ever Occur, I am not at All Sure I would Wish to Return so Soon. And yet be Still, Foolish Girl, for you Very Well Know that Agnes, being of One-and-Twenty and looking Well in so Many more Colours than Yourself, must Indeed be the Object of the Attentions of Any Man in Pursuit of Moderate Wealth.
However, these Chastisements Lauren brought upon Herself did not Go Unnoticed by the Quite Astute and Perpetually Observant Lady Fenwick.
'I have also Taken the Liberty,' she mentioned in a Manner Completely and Utterly Unrelated to Anything her Young Friend might have been Thinking, 'of inviting Colonel Fitzwilliam, whom Kitty knows from Time spent at Pemberley. He has said he would be Most Honoured to Attend.'
'Ah! that is well indeed,' replied Lauren, 'for the Colonel is said to be among the Most Amiable of Men.'
'And so he Is.'
However, Lauren discounted the Glances of Lady Fenwick; for, being Witty and Gentle and Wise beyond her Years, she knew that the Presence of the young Colonel must Indeed be more Fortunate for Georgiana Darcy than for Herself. She could also Not Help Remembering, as Family will So Often Do, that Colonel Fitzwilliam had been Directly Responsible for the Spread of the Scandal Surrounding Poor Matilda's Most Unfortunate End. (For I am Certain, dear Reader, that if Ever any Scandal has Surrounded and Blackened your Family Name, Colonel Fitzwilliam has Somehow been Directly Responsible, and you have Blamed him at Once, and been Better for It.)
'He brings with Him, Also, Two Young Men of most Respectable Standing. One is a Gentleman, a Sir Ian Malcolm of the -------- Grange. The other, he has Made Known to Me, is to Be a Surprise.'
'How Curious!' cried Lauren, for it Certainly Was, and Aroused her Own Witty Curiosity to the Point of Forgetting the Scandalous Circumstances Surrounding the Unfortunate Death of her Sister. However, she Quickly Remembered Herself, and Said in a much Milder Tone, 'I do Hope this Gentleman is Known to at Least One Person in the Party. It would be Very Unfortunate for Him, as well as for Colonel Fitzwilliam, if this Gentleman Arrived knowing no One, and Barely Invited in such Circumstances that no One would feel Obliged to Introduce Themselves. Indeed, it could Turn out to Be a Most Scandalous Affair. I am Surprised at the Colonel's Involvement in Such a Plan.'
'The Thought had also Made Itself Known to Me,' Lady Fenwick Assured her Young Companion. 'However, if You and I Recognize the Precariousness of the Colonel's Position, you may be Sure he does, as Well. I Trust him not to Act in any Way his Cousin Mr. Darcy would Find Wanting.'
'Indeed, You are Right,' agreed Lauren, and the Talk soon Turned to the Frock Lauren must Have Made for the Wedding, and which Colours were Indeed not Trying for our Poor Heroine's fine Complexion.
Unfortunately, as must Happen to all Young Ladies who have not the Time to Prepare for so Long a Journey, the passing Woodlands soon became Tedious, even to the Kind and Accepting Eyes of Lauren Brumhurst. When the Carriage arrived at Last before the Goose and Granite (an Inn Known throughout the Region to be the Very Best, though not at all Moderate in Cost), both its Occupants were Greatly Fatigued, though the Hour was not Yet Seven, and the Streets still Quite Busy.
Said Lady Fenwick as she Alighted, 'Oh! to be on Solid Ground again. - I dare say, Lauren, we have traveled Twelve Hours Today.'
'I doubt it Not,' replied Lauren, taking the Arm of the Footman in order to Descend.
However, Unfortunately for All Concerned (and in One of the Many most Unfortunate Coincidences that seem to Happen Exclusively to the Brumhurst Ladies), the Footman did Chuse that Very Moment to Doze Off. Lauren, expecting a Solid Arm to Guide her to the Ground, instead Found only Air!
This would have been a Most Grievous Affair, indeed, dear Reader, Especially if Lauren had Fallen Badly (for then Without a Doubt we would Have Had to Return to The Brumhurst Estate and Take up Agnes as Our Most Unfortunate Heroine). However, there Happened at that Moment a most Curious Thing.
Lauren found Herself Suddenly Halted in her Rapid Descent to the Ground, but not by the Ever-Sleepy Arms of the Most Lax Footman. No, 'Twas not He. Rather, Lauren found Herself in the Arms of a Very Strong, Very Well-Dressed, Very Handsome Young Gentleman!
'I am Most Sorry, Miss,' said He with Great Concern as he Lowered her Gently, 'that I was not Sooner in Coming to Your Aid. - For I see that Your Ankle Pains You.'
'No, Indeed, kind Sir,' she replied (though Her Ankle did Smart most Acutely), 'I am Most Grateful for your Timely Assistance.'
And in these Thanks she was Most Sincere. However, Well-Mannered as she Was and not Wanting to Enter Into any Breach of Propriety, she Realized the Awkwardness of the Situation. She Cast a Glance at Lady Fenwick, who Seemed most Relieved and yet Quite Puzzled. Turning Back to her Young Rescuer, she said, 'Dear Sir, I thank You Again, but might I Know to Whom it is I owe Thanks -'
But he was Gone!
'Indeed!' she Cried to her Companion, 'he has Gone! - and Without Any Introduction! How Curious! Do you Know who He Was, Lady Fenwick?'
'I must Confess I do Not,' the Lady Replied. 'However, I might Venture to Say that His Manners do Indeed leave Something to be Desired. Now, dear, Pray Stay where you Are, and I will fetch Someone from the Inn to Help you Inside. - For your Ankle is Indeed Quite Turned.'
Lauren Blushed at This. Thankfully, Lady Fenwick did not Notice, as she was At that Moment Stepping Around the Footman to Summon Help from Inside the Inn.
Within an Hour, Due to the Presence of Mind and Fortune to be Found in Lady Fenwick, Their Rooms had been Appointed, Their Trunks Unpacked, Their Supper Ordered, and the Doctor Summoned.
The Doctor's Examination Proved the Young Gentleman to be Most Correct (though of Course neither Lady had mentioned Him Since the Incident Itself), and He Declared that While it would Take only a Day or So to Heal, to use the Ankle Before then would Only Compound the Injury.
'That is most Unfortunate,' said Lady Fenwick to Lauren when They were Alone at Last. 'I was Hoping that You and I could Take in the Sights Tomorrow while We Wait for the Other Guests to Arrive.'
'Oh, Indeed, do not Curtail your Plans on My Account,' replied the most Patient Lauren, 'for I Know that You have not Seen your Son in Ever so Long, and will have as Much to Talk of as any Mother and Son ever Could. I shall be Fine Alone for a Day; it will Give me Time to Recover From our Long Journey, at Any Rate.'
'I Would not Think of Leaving You in Such a State!' cried Lady Fenwick.
'I Would not Think of Keeping You,' said Lauren.
So the Conversation Went, a most Sincere and Amiable Affection on Both Sides, until After Long Deliberation it was Decided that Lady Fenwick and her Son Should Take in the Sights the Next Morning, and Return to the Inn in the Afternoon with Kitty Bennet, in Order to Perform the Necessary Introductions.
It was only After Supper, when Lady Fenwick had Gone to Bed in Order To Rest for the Morrow, that our Heroine had a Moment to Ruminate over the Most Interesting Events of the Evening.
'It was Indeed Most Fortunate that The Gentleman Happened to be Passing,' thought She, Rightly. 'However, I do not Understand why he would Not Give his Name. - For he Seemed to be a Gentleman in Every Respect, and as Such Could have no Embarrassment Relating in any Way to his Actions. I was Most Grateful, and Told him So. Why, Then, did he Turn from Us and Slip into the Streets? And even Lady Fenwick did Not Recognize the Gentleman - a Most Curious Coincidence (for it was Widely Accepted that if Anyone was to Be Known, then Lady Fenwick was Sure to Know Him). That would Suggest that the Gentleman must be One of the Two Young Men Traveling with Colonel Fitzwilliam. But, in Such an Instance, Would he Not have Introduced Himself? - for Certainly he Would Know Her and Wish to Be in Her Good Graces. Oh, I do Not Understand it At All!'
(Now, dear Reader, it Must be Acknowledged that while Lauren was having these Most Proper Thoughts, Part of Her was Indeed Affronted that the Gentleman had Not Seen Fit to Introduce Himself, which Meant Either that he was Not a Gentleman at All (Which would Make the Timely Rescue Quite Embarrassing), or Else he had Thought Himself too Far Above her to Condescend to her Acquaintance.)
However, Lauren Resolved to Put These Thoughts from her Mind; a Thing more Easily Wished than Accomplished, for as she Discovered the Next Morning, she had Slept but Little.
After Lady Fenwick and Lauren had Taken Breakfast the Following Morning, The Lady Set out in a Chaise and Four to Call Upon her Son and Take in the Sights that Hertfordshire could Offer.
Lauren, Though Resolved not to Become Ill-Tempered or Tiresome to any One, Still Soon Found Herself to Be Quite Bored.
It was a Most Lucky Thing, Then, that there Happened to be Staying at the Very Same Inn, a Young Woman of Most Gentle Temperament, also Moderately Wealthy, and of Lauren's Age.
They Became Quickly Acquainted, and Each Found the Other to be Most Amiable.
When the Young Woman (whose name, dear Reader, is Anne Waltmire, a Fact I Neglected to Reveal Earlier) Discovered the Reason for Lauren Brumhurst to be in Town, she Exclaimed, 'Indeed! - My Cousin and I are in Town for That Very Purpose!'
'That is Most Wonderful,' replied out Heroine. 'Pray Tell Me, Who is your Cousin, that We have Never Met? - for I am Familiar with Most of The Party, or So I had Thought.'
'Oh, Indeed, you Need Feel no Embarrassment, Miss Brumhurst; I am a distant Cousin of Mr. Palmer, Whom I am Sure You Know, and who Talks of you Quite Often. It Seems when he was Last in the Company of Lady Fenwick, he Thought you a Most Promising Young Lady.'
'My Thanks for His Kind Remarks, and I Do Hope I will Not Disappoint him when Next we Meet,' joked Lauren.
Laughing Most Sweetly, Anne replied, 'Oh no, Indeed, Miss Brumhurst, I did not Mean to Imply Anything of that Kind! - only to Assure you that Before I Ever Met You, I was Most Impressed - for my Dear Cousin Does not Give Praise Away.'
'Then it is All the more Dear,' said Lauren, smiling.
'And Yet you Tease Me! Very well, if You so Chuse, I shall Have Him Call this Evening. And then, if it is not Too Much to Ask, Might I have the Honour of Introducing Another Cousin of Mine, who is Also in Town with his Fiancée. They are Shopping for Material to Make the Wedding for their Upcoming Nuptials.'
'I had no Doubt when I heard you Speak of their Shopping for Fabric what its Use was to Be,' replied Lauren. 'I would be Delighted to Become Acquainted with any Relation of Yours. In Return, I Beg your Indulgence in Being Introduced to My Dear Companion, Lady Fenwick, and her Son, who Shall be Arriving a Little Later this Afternoon.'
'Indeed, I would be Most Honoured,' replied the Young Lady, and Soon Took her Leave in order to Fetch her Cousins to Introduce to Them the Lovely, Witty, Charming, and Moderately Wealthy Lauren Brumhurst.
Miss Waltmire Returned not a Half-Hour Later, Bringing with her the Most Refined Mr. Palmer, but Mr. Palmer Only.
'My Apologies, Miss Brumhurst,' the Young Lady said, 'but my Dear Cousin's Fiancée Quite Insisted upon Walking. They Will be here Shortly, I am Sure.'
'While I am Most Sorry not to Have the Pleasure of Their Company for Some Time, I am Most Contented to be Once Again in the Company of Mr. Palmer. - Sir, it is Indeed Good to See You Again.'
'And Yourself Also, Miss Brumhurst. I do Hope Your Ankle is Not a Great Inconvenience?'
'No, Indeed, I Thank You, it is Not.'
'That is Good to Hear. And I Trust that Lady Fenwick enjoys Good Health?'
'She does, Sir, to the Best of my Knowledge, and I Thank You for Kind Inquiry on her Behalf. I Trust that all Your Family are Well?'
'Indeed, they Were when I Took Leave of Them.'
'And When was That, Might I Inquire?'
'It will be Six Months this March.- I have Been Quite Wrapped Up in Affairs of Business, you See, Most Especially the Wedding of My Cousin.'
'Indeed,' replied the Witty Lauren.
'I hear, Also, from my Amiable Young Cousin Anne, of Your Recent Acquisitions to the Family Library.'
'Oh! - Indeed, Sir, We are Most Satisfied with Them. Nothing Quite Satisfies the Spirit like a New Book on a Rainy Afternoon.'
'Or Indeed, when One is Indisposed, Miss Brumhurst.'
'Oh, Sir, you do Tease me Now!' laughed Lauren. The Conversation Continued Thus for a Number of Minutes, and Lauren was Much Gratified to See that there Was no Hint of That Taciturn Disposition she Once Remembered in Him; Indeed, she Enjoyed her Conversation with The Gentleman and his Young Cousin as Much as She had Enjoyed any in her Life. It was Obvious that Their Learning was Unequaled, and she Had the Gratification of Mr. Palmer's Commenting Once, in Response to an Argument she Put Forth;
'True, True! - Miss Brumhurst, you Give me Reason to Believe in the Cause of Educating Women. If All Young Ladies Were so Learned as Yourself, I am Sure that There Would be Many more Happy Husbands than do Currently Exist in the Whole of England.'
Our Poor Heroine Hardly Knew how to Reply to Such a Compliment, and Indeed was Searching for a Gracious and Composed Rejoinder, when of a Sudden came a Voice for the Shadows of the Sitting-Room.
'Indeed, Cousin Palmer, And I Trust, for the Benefit of Sir Fenwick and his lovely Miss Bennet, that Her Manners and Powers of Recuperation Will Prove to be Equally Astounding.'
All Looked up From their Conversation at this Voice, and Lauren was soon Pressed to Put her Oft-Praised Manners to the Test.
For The Voice Belonged to None Other than the Gentleman who had Caught her in the Street!
Chapter the Third
For a Moment, Lauren Knew Not what to Say or Do, and there Was, at Least on Her Part, a Sudden Change in Demeanor (and Indeed in Appearance Also, for she Had a Most Becoming but Most Noticeable Blush).
The Young Gentleman, having Had the Advantage of Being the First to Realize the Situation, and Thusly a Few more Moments to Prepare for their Inevitable Reacquaintance; and Being a Most Polite (though, dear Reader, in Truth a Most Unusual and Slippery) Gentleman, he Relieved the Somewhat Anxious and Indisposed Lauren by Speaking First.
'I am Sorry to have Interrupted - Forgive Me - but the Conversation was Witty, Learned, Indeed Quite Perfect in Every Respect, and I Grieved to Any Longer be Excluded! And as For Any Breach of Propriety I might have Committed,' he Solemnly Intoned, Doffing his Hat to the Ladies, 'I Shall Suffer its Repercussions Gladly, If Only to be Included in Any Part of this Repartee.'
Lauren, for the Duration of This (Secretly most Gratifying) Speech, was Trying most Diligently to Calm her Nerves, but with Nominal Success, for No Sooner had she Calmed the Blush of One Recollection or Compliment, then the Gentleman would Bring Forth Another!
However, by the Summation of the Young Man's Speech, Lauren's Good Sense had been Recalled from Wherever it had Fled when he Entered the Room, and she had Recovered Enough to be All Outward Composure when Anne rose and Spoke.
'Cousin! I see you Love a Jest as Much Now as You did Before - but Never Mind. May I have the Honour to Introduce My Acquaintance, Miss Lauren Brumhurst. Miss Brumhurst, my Cousin Jonathan Worthington.'
During these Introductions, Lauren watched the Countenance of Mr. Worthington most Acutely for Any Betrayal, by Look or Gesture, of Their most Coincidental First Meeting. However, as she Saw no Sign on his Part of his Wanting to Acknowledge Such an Incident, she Accepted the Introduction of a Perfect Stranger.
Mr. Worthington, after Making his Greetings to his Cousin Mr. Palmer, drew a Chair Closer to Couch on Which Reposed our Heroine (and on a Couch she most Certainly must have Been , dear Reader, for it is Quite Difficult to Stand During an Introduction if One's Ankle has Turned).
She Looked to Him to Initiate Any Further Conversation, as he had Been the One to Draw his Chair. However, He Spent a Great Few Moments Arranging his Coat; Lauren Waited Quietly, though Far from Patiently. Indeed, Her Feelings Seemed on the Verge of Gratification, for He Leaned Forward as If to Speak.
At that Moment, Anne Rose Again and Cried: 'Miss Barrett! At Last you Have Come!'
Lauren Found Herself Suddenly at a Distance from the Elusive Mr. Worthington, who had Again Maneuvered Himself so as to be Not Quite so Close to her Side as he Had Been Previously.
'My lovely Miriam,' he Said. 'May I Introduce you to Miss Lauren Brumhurst, a Friend of My Cousin Mr. Palmer.'
Lauren Performed these Necessities of Acquaintance with Tolerable Composure, but her Thoughts Flowed in a Different Vein Entirely.
'Ah!' thought She, 'what a Lady she Is, in Charm and Manners Everything she Should Be. - Indeed, I would have Expected Nothing Less in the Choice of Life Companion Such a Gentleman would have Made. (A Familiar Thought for Such a Lady to be Having at Such an Early Stage in her Acquaintance with the Gentleman, I Agree, dear Reader, but Nowhere in my Narrative did I Promise a Heroine Not Inclined to Sometimes Imprudent Romantic Fancy.) And Look! - How Well she Appears in her Purple Gown. - a Colour which I am Assured is Most Trying on Myself.'
However, No Sooner had These Thoughts Entered her Mind then she Banished Them, Reminding Herself that she Had Indeed No Right to Judge So New an Acquaintance on Any Thing, and Acted with the Utmost Outward Propriety Throughout the Remainder of the Visit.
As The Party Prepared to Depart as One (for Mr. Palmer had Business in Town, and Anne's Opinion was Most Eagerly Wished for by the Utterly Ladylike Ms. Barrett in Regard to Fabric for the Wedding Clothes), it So Happened that the Last Person to be Shewn Out was Mr. Worthington Himself.
He Stood at the Door a Moment, as if in the Throes of a most Difficult Decision; then Turned to Her and Said, 'Miss Brumhurst, I have Long Been Wishing To - '
'Jonathan!' came the Cry from Miss Barrett, 'We Wait Upon You! Pray, be Expeditious!'
He Gave a Small Parting Bow to Lauren, and was Gone.
'He Appears to have had Much Practice in That Respect,' thought Lauren to Herself when she Was Alone Again.
Dear Reader, Whilst All these Events had Been Occurring at a most Rapid Pace in Hertfordshire, do not Think that The Remaining Brumhursts had Been Idle.
Indeed, it was Quite the Contrary.
Lauren had not Long been Absent from the Family when Agnes Began to Feel her Rapier Wit Quite Dulled from Want of a Subject. With this in Mind, she Lost no Time in Informing her Mother and Father of her Sincere Desire to Be Present at the Announcement.
'For,' she Reasoned, 'I Dare Say I have as much Right to be Present as Lauren, and More Even, for am I Not The Eldest Friend of Mr. Fenwick? - Did he Not Stand Up with Me at My First Ball? Nay, I say it Should be a Terrible Insult were I Not to Go!'
Her Father replied, 'Agnes, Dear, I Believe it Was -'
'Indeed,' her Mother Interrupted, 'I Too Believe it to be Most Sound Thinking. I say you are Quite Right, Agnes. We all Must Go, to Show our Support for the Family. Yes; Yes, the More I Think on It, the More Displeased I am that Lauren Should have Been so Improper as to Presume herself a Representative of the Family. We Must Go, and Heal Whatever Breaches our Foolish Daughter might have Made. What say You, Mr. Brumhurst?'
It must be Said, in Mr. Brumhurst's Defense, that he Remembered Well Enough to Know that it was Lauren, not Agnes, that had been Partnered with the Young Mr. Fenwick at Her First Ball. Furthermore, being of more Sense than Either his Daughter or his Wife, he Knew without a Doubt that Lady Fenwick would Consider it More of an Affront to Attend than Not. However, Swayed by the Entreaties of his Wife and Daughter (and Perhaps by the Prospect of having to Buy No more Mourning Clothes, which are more Dear than One Might Suppose), he Agreed.
Immediately Afterwards, he Sat Down to Write a Letter of Warning to Lady Fenwick.
Lauren had not Had Time in Which to Lapse Again into Boredom, before Lady Fenwick Returned from a Day of Taking in the Sights, her Son Behind.
The Young Mr. Fenwick was Greeted with all the Warmth and Sincerity which a Long Separation will Breed in the Bosoms of Good Friends.
'I am Most Sorry to Hear of Your Misfortune,' said he After all Proper Inquiries had been Made.
'I Thank You for Your Kind Concern, Sir,' replied Lauren. My Sister will be Greatly Missed by My Family.'
'And Mine as Well, of Course,' replied the young Mr. Fenwick, though with a Distracted Air About Him that gave Lauren a Most Peculiar Stirring in her Perpetual Curiosity. However, Since Lady Fenwick was Present, she Resolved to Mention it at a More Convenient Time.
So she Instead Ventured after a Moment, 'I am Curious, Sir; are you Familiar with Miss Anne Waltmire? - she is a Cousin of Mr. Palmer.'
'Indeed I Am!' he cried. 'I had the Honour of Being Acquainted with Her only Two Days Ago. She is a Most Amiable Young Woman, Sensible and Kind. Have you Met Her?'
'Yes, Sir. This Afternoon, in Fact, for she Resides in this Very Inn. Mr. Palmer and his cousin, Mr. Worthington?' - and here she Paused, Waiting for a Reaction; when she Received only a Nod, she Continued, 'were Also Kind Enough to Call Here only an Hour or So before You Arrived.'
'I have Heard that Mr. Worthington and his Fiancée are In Town; and for Something of the Same Purpose as I Am! - do you Think that Lucky, or Unlucky, dear Miss Brumhurst? Whatever you Answer, I Shall Take it to Heart, as I have Always Done with your Sound Counsel.'
Lauren, Knowing Well the Jest of Such a Statement, Regardless of the Solemn Tone in Which it was Spoken, was Moved to Reply, 'If you Profess my Counsel to be Wise, Sir, you Cannot Expect me to Respond with Certainty, or Even Solemnity, to Any Thing Regarding a Coincidence which, I am Sure, is Most Common. Indeed, I would Think it Most Odd if There was Not at Least one other Couple in this Country that Shared in Some Part of your Joy.'
'Well Said, Friend!' cried Mr. Fenwick, and Lady Fenwick Smiled in Appreciation of the Fine Companionship between her Eldest Son and her Dearest Friend. (It is Well for Us All, dear Reader, that Lady Fenwick is a Woman of High Taste and Sound Judgment, for Otherwise this Tale would Contain at Least One Most Shocking Plot on her Part to Force Love Between her Two Present Charges. However, being Most Approving of her Son's Match, and Begin Also Aware of the Most Unhappy Results that Can Follow an Arranged Marriage, she Did as any True Lady Would Do, and Let Those she Loved Chuse their Own Paths.)
The Presence of An Old Acquaintance, and Distraction from the Most Puzzling Events of the Earlier Afternoon, soon Lifted Lauren's Spirits; Indeed, Before Mr. Fenwick Departed, he had Secured a Dinner Invitation for that Same Evening from Both Ladies, on the Condition that the Carriage Ride Would not Jar Lauren's Ankle Badly. Having Been Assured that she Would Not let Any Small Inconvenience Keep her From the Acquaintance of the Most Lovely Fiancée her Dear Friend had Ever Had (Though her Wit had Induced her to Reply to this Praise, 'Sir, I Should Hope that you Have not had A Great Many Lovely Fiancées. I believe that One or Two is Enough for Most Any Man'), He Took his Leave and Left them to Dress.
Lady Fenwick was just Wrapping her Scarf 'Round her Shoulders when there Came a Knock at the Door. She Accepted her Post from the Lady's Maid and Sat Down to Read it While she Waited for Lauren to Prepare.
One Letter in Particular Caught her Attention. She Unfolded the Paper and Began to Read with the Greatest Curiosity.
April 12, ---3Dear Lady Fenwick (it Began),
I Write to Congratulate You Most Heartily on the Engagement of Your Son to Miss Kitty Bennet. I Have Long Known the Young Mr. Fenwick to be a Most Sensible, Intelligent Gentleman, and I am Sure the Match will be a Happy One.
I Write, Also, to Inform you that My Wife and Daughter, Desirous to Share in the Experience of the Upcoming Joyful Event, are Preparing to Travel into Hertfordshire Themselves, to Join My Daughter Lauren in Wishing You and Your Son Well. I Shall be in their Company.
Until we Meet Again, I remain &c,
Ebenezer Brumhurst
Having Finished the Letter, she Set it Aside with a Sigh and Began to Fret about How Best to Break this Most Unfortunate News to Poor Lauren.
Lady Fenwick's Unease only Increased When she Found her Companion Most Handsomely Dressed in Pale Blue (a Colour Which was Not Trying in the Least), and In Most Jovial Spirits, Owing to the Prospect of a Night Spent in the Best of Company.
With such a Difficult Task Before Her (and Not Wishing to Start Off Lauren's First True Exposure to Genteel Society in Quite a While with Unpleasant News), Lady Fenwick Did as I am Sure you Too, dear Reader, would have; she Resolved to Show Lauren the Contents of the Letter After Supper.
The Group Expected by Lady Fenwick was Not Complete that Evening, Allowing for Travel Time and Arranging of Affairs for the Absences of those Concerned. Thus, the Supper Party Consisted only of Mr. Fenwick and Kitty Bennet, Kitty's Family, the Bingleys, and Mr. Palmer.
Lauren was Introduced to Kitty Bennet Immediately, and Within Five Minutes had Ascertained the Sweetness and Generosity of her Character, as Well as the Soundness of Principle and the Subtlety of Manner that Spoke Quite Well for the Efforts of the Gardiners and Georgiana Darcy.
Supper was Of the Finest Quality, Owing to The Heightened Spirits of All Those Present; and in Such Intelligent and Witty Company, Lauren Enjoyed the Most Learned and Amusing Supper to Which she had ever Been Witness.
When the Company had Retired to the Drawing-Room, the Company was Shifted in a Most Mutually Satisfying Way: The Bingleys and Mrs. Bennet Sat in Conversation, Mr. Bennet was Speaking in Low Tones by the Fire to the Young Mr. Fenwick, and Mary Bennet and Mr. Palmer had Taken up Books on Opposite Sides of the Room. It was in This Way that Kitty and Lauren Found Themselves Quite Alone, and a Witty Dialogue was Soon Struck Up. After a Few Minutes, Kitty Begged Permission to Ask a Question that Had Long Been Preying Upon Her. 'Could it be Granted?'
'Of Course,' replied Lauren, 'in this as in Any Thing. What is the Question?'
Here, Kitty Proved Herself as a Student of Subtlety; for her Propensity for Observance of Human Nature had been Tempered with a Desire for Tact and Propriety in all Things, and she Phrased her Question in the Most Oblique Terms.
'Indeed, I have so Often Heard you Praised by my Dear Gregory, and by His Mother as Well, that I Cannot but Think that You have been Held in High Esteem by Their Family for Some Time.'
'That is Praise from All Quarters, and You Flatter me in Making me Sensible of It, but I Cannot Help but Notice that There is No Question in these Remarks.'
'Indeed; Perhaps there is No Question After All...Save One....'
'Pray, Give me the Opportunity to Set Your Mind at Rest by making Answer to Any Inquiry you Might Wish to Make.'
'Your Being in Such High Estimation...would Then Inevitably Lead to a Certain Intimacy with the Family in General, Would it Not?'
'I Would Not Behave Coldly to People of Whom I am so Fond and Esteem so Highly, if that is What you Imply,' said She, Believing herself to be Most Sensible as to the Meaning of the Question, 'But I Assure You, any Friendships Within that Family have Been Friendships Alone.'
'But in these Friendships,' Pressed Kitty Gently (Showing so Little Reaction to Lauren's Declaration That Lauren was Somewhat Taken Aback, though she Hid it Well), 'have you Become Well Acquainted with Mr. Fenwick's Younger Brothers, Michael and Jerome?'
'Indeed,' replied a Most Puzzled Lauren, 'Somewhat; but I Must Confess, Miss Bennet, that I Cannot Guess why these Inquiries have Been Directed at Me. Surely your Own Intended, Having Been the Brother of these Gentlemen for I Dare Say Some Few Years, Would Know Far More about them Than Myself.'
'Oh, Miss Brumhurst, how You Tease! I am, You May Trust, Quite Sensible of the Seeming Absurdity of This Interrogation, but Pray be Patient with Me for One Question More. How Well do you Know the Character of the Youngest - of Jerome Fenwick?'
Lauren, Knowing Hardly what to Say, replied, 'I have Not Seen him these Three Years - Since he Went to the University - but in My Recollections he was a Most Amiable Gentleman.'
During this (Most Puzzling) Exchange, Lauren Brumhurst and Kitty Bennet had been Taking a Turn About the Room, which Unfortunately Brought them into the Hearing of Mrs. Bennet. Mrs. Bennet, always Ready to Enhance the Private Conversations of Others with Her Own Profundities, Seized Readily on the Words 'Amiable Gentleman.'
'Amiable Gentleman!,' she Exclaimed, 'Indeed, I must Know Whom you Speak of, for if There are Any Amiable Gentlemen for Miles Around, I am Sure they Would have Called on Me; After All, I am the Mother of the Br - But Speaking of Amiable Gentlemen, Here is Colonel Fitzwilliam!'
All Heads Turned at This; Indeed, Even Mr. Palmer stood and Mary Looked up Momentarily from her Book. The Colonel, Cutting as Fine a Figure as Ever he had Been Reputed to Do, Stepped Forward, and Smilingly Made as If to Bow to the Assembled Company, but Before he Could, Mrs. Bennet Exclaimed -
'Colonel, what a Pleasure to See you Again! - for no Sooner do We Speak of Amiable Gentlemen than One Appears on the Threshold! - But Where is your Friend, Whom you Said we Were to Expect? - But No Matter! You, Of Course, Remember my Daughter Mary?'
Colonel Fitzwilliam, Looking Slightly Pained, Bowed Quickly to Mary Bennet, Who Nodded In Reply, Looking no More at Ease.
Mrs. Bennet, Undaunted, Pressed On - 'She has Indeed Blossomed; Though her Reserve is Still as Tactful as Ever, She is Most Intelligent and Moral, and I Dare Say a Good Match for Anyone who Had Need of a Sensible Wife - Especially Those Who Rely the Most On Strong Sensibility, Say, Soldiers of Respectable Standing?'
At These Words, Mr. Bennet Sighed. Having Caught the Eye of Mr. Palmer in Doing So, he Said by Way of Explanation,
'Mr. Palmer, Though Doubt Runs Slipshod Through my Life, I Believe I May Rest Easy in Knowing I am Married to the Silliest Woman in All England.'
Mr. Palmer, with Stoic Countenance (but With a Brotherly Sort of Pity in his Eyes) replied,
'Sir, Someday I must Introduce you to my Wife.'
Meanwhile, Jane and Kitty had Moved Almost as One to Extricate the Colonel and Silence their Mother before Any More Harm Could be Done. Kitty, Having been their Mother's Second Favourite Child for Many Years (and Now, Having Provided Her Mother with Another Wedding to Arrange, Was Most Certainly the Dearest of All Mrs. Bennet's Daughters), Kitty had the Most Skill in Soothing her Mother's High Spirits, and Soon Performed her Task in a Way that Would have Made Georgiana Darcy Most Proud. To Jane Fell the Task of Turning the Conversation.
'Indeed,' said She, 'I Believe there May be Those Here, Dear Colonel, that Have No Knowledge of Your Profession.'
'A Situation I would Dearly Like to Remedy,' replied a Most Grateful Colonel Fitzwilliam.
With Such a Skillful Introduction, Jane Found it a Most Simple and Fulfilling Duty to Acquaint the Colonel with Mr. Palmer, Lady Fenwick, and the Young Mr. Fenwick. She Then Turned to Lauren.
'And Colonel, I Believe you May Be Somewhat Acquainted With Miss Lauren Brumhurst. Miss Brumhurst, May I Present Colonel Fitzwilliam, a Dear Friend of the Family.'
Both Gentleman and Lady Bowed, but Behind Lauren's Eyes Lay the Knowledge of a Great Wrong Done to her Family, and Behind the Colonel's, All the Unease which a Good Conscience will Raise in the Knowledge of Doing a Great Wrong to A Young Lady's Family.
Colonel Fitzwilliam, as if Anxious to Escape his Own Grievous Wrongdoing, Quickly Turned his Attentions to Mrs. Bingley, with Most Solicitous Inquiries as to the Health of her Sisters-In-Law Caroline and Louisa.
'They are in the Most Excellent Health. I Thank You, Sir.'
'And do You Hear Much of Your Sister Elizabeth?' asked He. 'She and Darcy, I Must Say, Do a Terrible Job of Corresponding; Most of my Information of their Health and Whereabouts Reaches me by Way of the Spies of Lady Catherine de Bourgh, who Condescendingly Agrees to Pass along Parts of this Information to Myself.'
'Indeed, I must Confess that I have not Had a Letter from My Sister This Week, but I Attribute it to Slow Post; or Even if she Should Chuse not to Write Often, it is Quite Understandable, and I am Certain of Hearing All of It as Soon as They Return.'
'I Dearly Wish I had Even Half your Confidence, Mrs. Bingley, for I am Sure I Would then Fear Nothing at All, and be a Much More Agreeable Companion.'
At That Moment, Mr. Bingley Recommended Himself to Them, and Mrs. Bingley and the Colonel Moved to That Corner of the Room, Leaving Our Heroine in Very Real Peril of Standing Alone in a Drawing-Room; a Most Serious Offence.
However, she was Spared this Mortification by None Other than the Colonel Himself, who Turned to Her Almost Immediately after Greeting Mr. Bingley and Said, 'But, Miss Brumhurst, You Must Think I am Not a Gentleman at All, For I have been Most Lax in Not Inquiring After Your Family.'
'My Family is as Well as Can be Expected, with the Loss of a Dear Daughter and Sister.'
'Indeed it was a Most Tragic Affair.'
You have Often Said as Much, thought Lauren, but replied Only, 'Indeed, and I Believe We Shall Never be Able to Put This Tragedy Behind us, for the False Stories and Scandals will Last Long After Matilda Herself has Faded in the Minds of Those who Knew Her, or Pretended To.'
This Hint Seemed to Cause Great Concern in Fitzwilliam, and he Soon Excused Himself and Sat With the Bingleys. Our Heroine Overheard no Particulars of the Conversation Save the Beginning to a Question Posed by Mr. Bingley.
'Colonel, Is your Friend Expected Tomorrow as Hoped? - for both My Wife and I...', but as to the Remainder of the Question, and the Response to It, Lauren Found it was Of No Interest to Her.
Realizing that to be Left Alone in a Drawing-Room is not Half so Bad as Having to Make Conversation with a Man she Did not Quite Respect, Our Heroine Retired to a Chair to Find a Book.
An Hour Passed in this Manner on All Sides, and it Appeared Quite Likely that This was to be The All of the Evening; However, the Colonel had the Presence of Mind to Petition Mary for a Song at the Pianoforte. Mary Most Eagerly Obliged, and Even Accepted with Equanimity a Most Well-Phrased Request for a Reel on the Colonel's Part. No Sooner had Mary Acquiesced than the Colonel Applied to Kitty for the First; and Soon they were All Paired - the Bingleys, Lauren and Mr. Fenwick, and Even (To the Mild Surprise of the Entire Party) Mr. Palmer and Lady Fenwick. It was Only the Bennets who Sat Out, though Not for Want of Trying on the Part of Mrs. Bennet.
'It is a Disgrace! - When the Parents of the Bride Cannot Even Dance in a Small Parlour Such as This, How Much More of an Insult Will it be to Our Hosts to Have Danced on the Wedding Day, but Never in Their House!'
'Madam, as Much as this may Fright You, I Do Not Intend to Dance at the Wedding, Either, so the Insult to the Bingleys is Very Small in my Estimation.'
'Oh, Mr. Bennet! - you Shall be the Death of Me!' cried Mrs. Bennet.
'I Hope your Prayers are Answered in This as in All Things.'
After the First, Lady Fenwick and Mr. Palmer Dropped From the Line of Dancers, and to Lauren's Great Surprise, the Colonel Offered her his Hand for the Second.
Seeing the Look of Astonishment on her Face, he Smiled and Said, 'Miss Brumhurst, I am Not an Eloquent Man, but You May be Assured My Gestures of Reconciliation are Performed With the Most Humble Sincerity. I am Aware that My Conduct Toward Your Sister's Reputation has Been Reprehensible. Please Give me the Opportunity to Redeem Myself, Both in the World's Eyes and, More Importantly, In your Own. Let Us Quarrel no Longer.'
In the Face of Such a Touching Apology, Lauren Could Follow no Course of action but to Dance with Him. Mr. Palmer had Once Again Drawn Close to Mr. Bennet, and as he Watched Lauren Dance most Gracefully and Composedly, he Remarked,
'Is it Not Odd, and Sometimes Most Amusing, that a Family of Silly, or Willful, or Overly Sensible Girls, can Often Produce a Most Pleasing, Learned Woman?'
'Perhaps it is God's way of Evening the Status of Every Family,' replied Mr. Bennet, 'to Know that a Silly Girl can be Born into a Rich Family as Easily as a Poor One.'
'Indeed,' sighed Mr. Palmer.
Lady Fenwick, who had Not Been Insensible to the Conversation, or to Its Instigation, Moved Closer to the Pair and said, 'But is it Not Also Most Fortunate, that a Sensible Woman can be Born into Any Status, and Be Comfortable in Her Own Sphere, and Welcome and Appreciated in Any Other she Chuses to Enter? Surely Such Women Are the Mark of a Good Family, as Much as Property or Breeding.'
Mr. Palmer Thought a Moment. At Length, he Said, 'I may Believe you are Right in this, Lady Fenwick, for I can Think of One Woman in Particular, One of the Most Sensible and Even-Tempered Persons I have Ever Met; However, I could Not Remark as to Her Having Been Comfortable in a Social Sphere Outside her Own, for While she is Loved by Every One who Knows her, she Married a Minister Only, and While Happy, is Far from Rich.'
'True, Sir,' Mr. Bennet answered, 'Many Families of Silly Girls are Enhanced by a Single Jewel, but as With All Beautiful Stones, when Placed in Bad Settings the Lose a Large Part of their Lustre. I Fear for Miss Brumhurst's Ever Making a Good Match under the Cloud of Scandal her Sister's Unfortunate Demise Elicited Unexpectedly.'
This Comment Reminded Lady Fenwick of her Duty to Inform Lauren of the Descent of her Family Upon her Momentary Tranquillity. She Waited Close to the Outskirts of the Circle for the Remainder of the Dance, and Having Excused Lauren form the Presence of the Colonel, Delivered Mr. Brumhurst's Sad Tidings.
Lauren, who Indeed was Not as Hysterical as One Might Expect, only Thought a Moment and Said with a Sigh, 'I Suppose I Shall Have to Find Rooms for Us All.'
'Nonsense!', Exclaimed Mr. Fenwick, Joining them, with Kitty on His Arm. 'The Inns are Quite Full for Miles. My Mother has Been Invited to Stay with Us at our City House for the Remainder of her Holiday, and We Would Not Think of Separating Two such Amiable Companions. You Must Stay With Us.'
Mrs. Fenwick Whispered to Lauren, 'Indeed, this is a Most Wise Plan, for it Will Free two Rooms at a Respectable Inn Close By Yourself, Where Your Family Shall no Doubt Find Every Thing They could Desire in a Room.'
Lauren Accepted the Invitation Most Gratefully.
Indeed, the Invitation Came at a most Critical and Fortuitous Time, for Not a Half-Hour Had Passed Since the Invitation when Mr. Bingley was Informed that the Mr. And Mrs. Brumhurst and Daughter were Downstairs.
Mr. Bingley, after Casting a Nervous Glance at Our Most Forbearing Heroine (who had Quite Set Aside her Book in Distraction Upon Learning of the Proximity of her Family), Bade Them be Summoned into the Drawing-Room.
Lauren Waited in Dread.
Chapter the Fourth
Very Shortly, Four Sets of Footsteps Became Quite Audible, and Lauren Seriously Debated the Merits of Having a Fainting Fit; However, she Did Not Want to Risk her Mother's Wrath at her Silliness, and So Remained Conscious. Lady Fenwick, Mr. Fenwick, and Kitty Bennet All Drew Closer to Her, as If to Lend Her Strength.
All too Soon, the Servant Entered, Announced the Brumhursts, and Seemed to Vanish most Quickly. There they Stood, Then, Looking Most Exhausted from the Lengthy Journey (One Well Remembered by Lauren), With Mrs. Brumhurst Still in Her Traveling Pelisse, and Agnes in an Evening Gown (Where she Might Have Changed Clothes, dear Reader, Must be Left to the Imagination, as I Myself am Most Puzzled by Such a Feat). Lauren Could Hardly Believe Her Sister's Flagrant Disregard for the State of Mourning; the Dressing Gown had Been Subtle in Comparison. (Mr. Brumhurst, Thinking it Too Dear to Have Mourning Clothes Made, Had Instead Charged His Daughters to Make Their own. Lauren had Been Forced to Dye Her Spencer Jacket Black from its Lavender, and to Cover Her Bonnet. She had Then Made a Long Scarf and a Pelisse of Black; and While Even Her Dress Tonight was Pale Blue - for It is Quite Rude to Solemnize and Evening by Wearing Mourning Dress to the Table - she Had a Large Black Velvet Ribbon in her Locks. However, this is No Excuse for Agnes, Who had Not Done Any Thing Except to Dye One of her Lesser Dressing Gowns a Deep Blue.)
Lauren Took a Small Consolation in the Fact that the Dress, Being a Rich Red in Colour, Disproved Her Sister's Earlier Belief that Red was Not Trying on her Person. However, Terrible Agnes, not Waiting Even to be Invited into the Room by their Host, and So Paying no Mind Either to the Servant's Dread or to Common Sense and Propriety, Strode into the Room Well Ahead of her Father, who Lagged so Far Behind as to be Almost Removed from the Party Altogether, and of her Mother, who Skittered Around her Husband's Arm Trying to Get a Better View of the Ceiling of the Drawing-Room.
'Oh! - Look, Ebenezer, How Dear that Chandelier Must have Been! I Declare, I Find it Hardly Just that One Family of Such Obviously-More-Than-Moderate Wealth Should Have Contained Only One Representative of Our Illustrious Family for Any Length of Time.'
Lauren, Mortified Almost Beyond Endurance, Rose as Quickly as Her Shaking Legs Would Allow and Performed The Necessary Introductions with a Sinking Heart. 'Oh!'- thought She, most Tragically, 'to be Stripped of the Small Happiness my Life has Contained by Tainting such Fine Company, and to have My Own Family be the Cause of It! Can it be Borne?' But she Knew Full Well What was Expected of Her, and for the Rest of the Evening was Forced to Endure the Heartless Teasing of Agnes, and her Mother's Constant Insinuations that Lauren had Manipulated the Family into Slighting a Most Beloved Acquaintance, All While Maintaining a Stoic Countenance.
As the Brumhursts Prepared to Board Their Carriage to Retire to their Rooms (For the Procurement of Which not a Word of Thanks Was Given to Lauren), Agnes Leaned Towards Lauren and Whispered,
'My Dear Sister, You Know I Have Lived my Life in Sacrifice to Your Best Wishes, and Would Not Say Anything I Felt Contrary to Your Utmost Happiness, but I Feel I Must Warn You; You Risked Making a Spectacle of Yourself Tonight, and I Would Watch Most Carefully to See it Does Not Happen Again.'
'Indeed, Sister', replied a Most Puzzled Lauren, 'I Cannot Imagine to What You are Referring.'
Agnes Looked at Her Sister as if The Answer was Quite Obvious, But Undertook the Explanation with a Sigh and said, 'This Evening, Whenever Colonel Fitzwilliam Moved to Speak to You, You Answered Him, and Often Most Cordially.'
'Yes, Indeed, if That is My Charge, I am Guilty; for he has Made His Apologies to Myself - and to You, If You Recall, Agnes - and I See No Reason to Then Refuse to Be Civil.'
'Dearest, That is Not What I Meant. I Simply Suggest that By So Blatantly Showing him Favour, you Risk a Great Deal.'
'Pray, How So?' inquired Lauren, Disbelieving of Her Sister's So Greatly Mistaken Observance.
'Well, Aside from the Obvious Fact that He is Smitten with Me, and it is Most Unwise for a Younger Sister to Envy the Attentions Shewn an Elder - it Shows Poor Breeding - but You Risked Also Offending our Host.'
'Indeed!' cried Lauren, 'Is the Colonel Smitten with Mr. Bingley as Well! - I must Say, Sister, you Had a Most Observant Evening!'
'Oh, Dearest Lauren, Sometimes I Do Fear for the Existence of Your Good Sense! That is Not At All What I Meant! Indeed, Quite the Opposite; for it is Caroline Bingley who is Smitten with Colonel Fitzwilliam, Since the Day of her Brother's Wedding. I Would Not Put Myself in the Way of Such a Woman; of Higher Breeding than Yourself, and Much more Wealthy.'
Lauren was So Angered as To Respond, 'Indeed, Sister, and Yet I See You have No Qualms About Decimating Miss Bingley's Happiness With Regard to the Colonel!'
'That is Quite Different, for it is He Who Loves Me, a Thing Which I Most Certainly am Not Expected to be Able to Control.'
'And Also,' continued Lauren, 'So Far as Breeding and Wealth, You and I Are Most Obviously Equal! - for Our Father and Mother are The Same, if I May Dare to Remind You!'
'Wealth is Not an Impediment to True Love - and By 'Breeding', dearest Lauren, I Meant Breeding of Character, which I am Ashamed to Admit Seems to Be Sorely Lacing in One of the Remaining Brumhurst Daughters.'
With This, Agnes Left her Sister in a Most Agitated State; Indeed, when Mr. Fenwick Came to Inform her of Their Carriage's Being Ready, he Had Some Trouble in Inducing her to Move her the Spot to Which she Had Remained Quite Fixed for Some Time.
She Spoke to Lady Fenwick That Evening, and Told her of the Warning Issued by Agnes with Regards to the Colonel.
After Lady Fenwick had Ceased Laughing, she Soothed her Companion by Saying, 'Lauren, your Sister Has Not the Advantages of Wit, Imagination, and Manners that Have You - her Only Joy Comes in Ruining your Own. Fear Not, However, that She Will do You Any Serious Harm, Either in Society or in Domestic Affairs; Indeed, She is the Kind of Woman that Will Err in Haste and Repent in Leisure.'
'She Did Not Seem at All Repentant During her Insults This Evening,' replied a most Out-of-Sorts Lauren.
'I am Sure she will be Sorry Later. Now, Lauren, do Not Let This One Poor Experience Ruin the Memory of an Otherwise Most Pleasant Evening. Indeed, Tomorrow's Dinner Proves to be Even More Pleasing; for I Hope to See the Gardiners and Georgiana Darcy, and Perhaps Even the Admirals.'
This Indeed did Turn Lauren's Mind to Pleasanter Prospects, and Also Reminded Her of Mr. Bingley's Question to the Colonel, One She Immediately Passed on to Lady Fenwick.
'How is It that the Colonel Comes Alone, Madam, Without Either of the Friends He Promised?'
'I Believe,' replied the Lady, 'That Sir Malcolm and his Other Gentleman Friend Were Obliged to Stop Along the Way. - It was Said that The Absence Had Something to Do With a Scandalous Lack of an Engagement Present to Offer the Intended Couple!'
'Indeed! how Amusing!', cried Lauren.
'Yes, My Thoughts Exactly. However, I Have Been Told that They Are Expected No Later than The Day After Tomorrow.'
'Indeed! And Will That Make Them the Most Tardy of the Gathering, As Well As the Least Known?'
'I Believe it Shall! Oh, How Unfortunate!,' smiled Lady Fenwick. 'Such a Lack of Punctuality must Indeed have been a Vice to You, Lauren, had the Colonel Not Made his Apologies to You and Thus Been Received into Your Good Graces.'
'Lack of Punctuality is a Vice in Any Gentleman, be He Apologetic or No.'
'And that is the End of It?'
'Indeed,' replied Lauren. 'Quite a Timely End.'
'I Agree Most Heartily,' laughed the Lady, 'and Now to Bed! We Shall Discuss this Unpleasant Relation No Further, and Think of Far Pleasanter Subjects Over Breakfast.'
When Lauren Came Down to Breakfast the Next Morning, She Found Lady Fenwick and Kitty at the Breakfast Table, Distracted and Uneasy.
'Where is Mr. Fenwick?' Inquired Lauren, for Such a Peaceful and (I Must Say) Sheltered Gentleman to Have Business so Early in the Morning was Most Unusual.
'He Has Only Just Risen, and Sends Down Word that He Will Soon Join Us,' replied Kitty, but Such an Answer Puzzled Lauren So that She Further Pressed,
'I Do Hope He has Slept Well, and is Not Ill?'
'Indeed,' replied Kitty, 'He is Not.'
Lady Fenwick, Seeing the Distress Both in Her Son's Friend, for His Health, and in His Fiancée, for Her Trying to Keep the Secrets and Dignity of Both, that She was Moved to Intervene and Say, 'Dearest Lauren, I Assure you Gregory is Not Ill. He has Had Some Most Pressing Business, and Will Return Quite Soon, I am Sure.'
Lauren, who Had a Most Unsettling Feeling that She Knew the Answer Before the Question was Asked, Nonetheless Continued, 'Pray, What Business Could He Have Had So Early in the Morning?'
Kitty Looked a Little Affronted by Such Familiarity of Speech (To Her Credit), but Being Instantly Reminded by the Kindly Features of Lady Fenwick that Lauren's was a Most Privileged Acquaintance, replied, 'There was a Minor Misunderstanding With...a Tenant Quite Late Last Night. Gregory has Gone to Arrange Things to Everyone's Satisfaction.'
'Oh, No,' groaned Lauren, Certain of Her Humiliation in Asking, 'Please do Not Let it Be Any Family of Mine.'
The Silence on the Parts of Both Ladies Spoke Volumes, and Lauren was On the Street in Moments, Without Breakfast, Against the Protestations of the Ladies, Anxious to Find her Friend and Dissuade Him From Assisting her Family in Any Way.
However, dear Reader, we Most Certainly Remember, as She Most Certainly did Not (and How Could She in Such a State?), that Her Ankle had Not Fully Recovered, Being Given But a Day to Heal. Unfortunately for Her Health (but Most Fortunately for My Tale, which Otherwise could Quickly Become Quite Dull), she had Not Gone Far in the Busy Streets of the Town Before Someone Brushed Most Carelessly Against her Ankle.
Nearly Crying Out with the Pain of It, she Ducked Quickly into One of the Fabric Shops Until her Ankle Had Stopped Smarting Enough for her To Continue on her Quest. She Acknowledged the Shop Owner, and at his Kind Inquiries as to her Limp she Explained Briefly that It was an Injury not Yet Fully Healed, and Begged a Few Moments in the Shop, a Favour Which was Quickly Granted. Thanking him Most Graciously, she Intended to Look about the Shop, but Before she Could But Turn she Heard -
'Why, Miss Brumhurst! - Goodness! Your Ankle!'
Looking Before Her, She Beheld None Other than Anne Waltmire, a Bolt of Fine Fabric in her Hands, Standing with Miriam Barrett and Jonathan Worthington!
Sincere and Amiable Greetings were Soon Exchanged by Both Ladies, and When Lauren's Minor Mishap had Been Explained to Every One's Full Satisfaction and Sympathy, it Was Soon Decided by Miriam Barrett that Nothing Should Do But to Send Lauren On her Way On Foot, for as She Delicately Put The Situation,
'You Have Not Enough Money for a Carriage of Your Own, and I Dare Say We Have None to Spare, for Else We Would be On Foot Ourselves.'
With Such a Tactful Argument Before Them, it was Agreed that Anne and Miriam Should Continue Perusing the Shops ('For I Dare Say YOU are Contributing Nothing Either in Opinion or in Taste, Jonathan,' Scolded His Ladylike Fiancée), and Mr. Worthington Was to Be Lauren's Companion for the Remainder of her Journey.
The Unease Both Felt During the Laying-Out of These Plans was Acute Indeed, but Mr. Worthington Would Not Dare Say a Word Contrary, for Fear of Rousing Suspicion Where He was Sure There was None At All, Not in the Slightest; and Lauren Knew it Was Not Her Place to Refuse Such a Kindness. So it Happened that Not Five Minutes After Meeting Again Under Most Coincidental Circumstances, Mr. Worthington and Miss Brumhurst Again Found Themselves in the Streets of Meryton, With Herself Leaning Upon Him, as it Had Been Not Two days Before!
For Quite a Few Minutes, They Walked in the Most Uncomfortable Silence, with Mr. Worthington Looking Intently at Shop Windows Across the Way, and Lauren Trying not to Turn Her Ankle Yet Again (for She was Well Aware, as I am Sure are You, dear Reader, that a Foolish Thing Inflicted Once is a Misfortune; if It is Subsequently Inflicted by Oneself, It is Truly Folly). Our Heroine Began to Fret that There Would be No Conversation at All, which Could Arouse Suspicion in Passers-By Where No Suspicion was Warranted.
Indeed, she had Not Long to Worry, for the Gentleman Soon Broke the Silence by saying, 'Miss Brumhurst, I Believe that If We Were to Walk any Longer Thus, there Would be Stories Told About Us; Therefore, Pray Let Us Speak Our Minds, and in So Doing, Banish This Unease.'
Lauren replied, 'Sir, the Unease Appears to be Entirely on Your Side, and Therefore so Must Be the Telling of It.'
'Ah! My dear Cousin Anne had Warned Me of Your Wit, and it is Most Appreciated, but I Sense a Most Earnest Belief on Your Part that I have Indeed Done You a Great Wrong.'
'No, Sir! Actually, I Believed it to be Quite the Opposite; and Still I Thank You For Performing a Most Necessary and Timely Service. However, I Must Admit I Cannot Puzzle Out Why You Felt the Encounter to be so Compromising that You Refused a Simple and Civil Introduction, for While it May have Been Unexpected, It Could be No More Expected that You Were to Be in a Most Fortunate Position to Catch Me as I Fell From the Coach.'
He Cleared his Throat and Thought a Moment, as if Arranging his Thoughts in the Least Offensive Manner. At Length He Spoke.
'I Must Apologize for My Behavior. I Know it was Incorrigible. However, the Entire Incident Happened so Swiftly, I knew Not What to Do. It was a Moment of Weakness in What I Hope is an Otherwise Solid Character.'
'Indeed. And This Solid Character of Which You Assure Me Suffered Another Lapse in Our First Formal Introduction? Or, Perhaps it was Only Your Memory that Slipped; Perhaps You Rescue Several Falling Ladies a Day, and I Was Simply One on a Long List of Young Women that Owes You Thanks for an Ankle Saved.'
'No, My Memory was Far From Slipping - ' but Here the Gentleman Stopped a Moment; and Before Lauren Could Wonder at his Pausing, He had Lifted Her Safely Across a Mudhole in the Bustling Thoroughfare, and She was Safely Deposited on the Ground on the Other Side. The Gentleman then Continued His Speech, and with Such Alacrity and Sincerity that Lauren Found her Blush to be of Surprisingly Short Duration.
'In Fact, Miss Brumhurst,' Mr. Worthington Continued, 'I Could Not Help But Recall Our First Meeting During our Second, and I am Afraid The Recollection of My Terrible Behavior Then, Also Affected Our Formal Introduction. I Apologize for That Also.'
'But Sir, I Still Cannot Understand Why You Would Not Be Willing to Own Yourself, Even in that Second Acquaintance, for You Were Among Family that I Dare Say You Knew Better than I; and If Either of Us Was To Be Ill at Ease, it Should Have Been Myself.'
(Such Familiar Speech on Both Their Parts Would Have no Doubt Affronted More Delicate Sensibilities, and Perhaps Even Constituted a Most Grievous Lack of Propriety if They had been Overheard by a Third Party. However, the Conversation as it Was, While not as Cordial as it Might Have Been, Suited the Two Participants Well, and in the End, that Is the Most Important Facet of Most Conversation, is it Not, dear Reader?)
In this Same Vein, Mr. Worthington replied, 'Indeed, Miss Brumhurst, Even With The Knowledge of Your Identity, Which I Assure You I Possessed Before Even Entering the House, for I Had to Good Fortune to Be Aware of Our Impending Meeting; and Perhaps if My...Circumstances Were Different, I Would Not Have Hesitated in Making A Jest of Our First Meeting - Indeed, I Would Have Most Readily Introduced Myself at the Carriage. Regrettably, I Am Not of That...Freedom.'
Lauren Could Only Assume that, Seeming to Be a Gentleman of Independent and Far-More-Than-Moderate Means, Any Impediment to Freedom Must Lie in His Contemplation of his Future, and Therefore with His Intended, Miriam.
'Do You Mean that You Believe Miss Barrett would Somehow Disapprove?'
He Then Shot her Such a Quick, Fiery, and Even (She Imagined) Angry Glance that She Quickly Continued, ' - Forgive Me, I am in the Wrong, it is No Concern of Mine and I had No Right to Speak in So Familiar a Manner.'
'No, Indeed, I did Not Mean to Make You Think Me Angry with You, By Any Means. It is...It is Only That No One Else has Ever Questioned the Perfection of Our Union.'
'And I Should Not Have, Either. Forgive Me for -'
'And Yet,' he Continued, as If to Stop Any Apologies Before He Would be Persuaded to Accept Them, 'I am Not Displeased. Your Reputation of Being Observant has Not Been Put to Shame in the Least, Let Me Assure You. While Miss Barrett May Be Lovely, and Finely Mannered, and Amiable in All Respects, She Sometimes Lacks the...Openness of Spirit, and Strength of Constitution, that Allows for the Possibility of Lady Friends in the Social Circle of an Unmarried Gentleman, Even One who is Engaged.'
'I Wonder, Then,' thought Lauren to Herself, 'That He Would Chuse a Lady so Inclined to Unfounded Jealousy to Be his Wife, and Then Proceed to Inform a Relative Stranger of His Doubts and Regrets in the Case.'
However, She had No Opportunity to Say Anything Before the Gentleman Continued, 'I Must Say, that Looking Back Upon our Previous Acquaintance, you Must Wonder at My Possessing Any Manners Whatsoever. And I Am Afraid that, at This Moment, Your Silence Indicates Less Than Palatable Thoughts About My Intended, Or Indeed My Own Feelings Towards My Future Wife.'
'Which,' thought Lauren, 'is Quite Difficult to Avoid, Given the Description Her Own Intended Gave of Her.'
He Continued, 'Let me Show You that I Have No Intention of Causing any Breach Between Two Such Ladies as Yourself and Miss Barrett. I Would Like to Ask you For the Honour of Your Presence at My Wedding.'
'Can it Be?' Lauren thought. 'Does he Truly Think My Senses Will Be so Easily Put to Silence, My Scruples About his Indiscretions So Easily Cast Aside, Simply Through Gaining an Invitation to Witness his Wedding a Woman I am Now Most Acutely Aware He does Not Like?'
Noting Her Silence, Mr. Worthington Coloured Slightly. 'Miss Brumhurst, I Know You Must Be Thinking of Many Things at This Moment; My Poor Behaviour in the Past and Your Current Schedule Most Certainly. However, I Ask You Not to Make My Waiting Any More Uncomfortable by a Stony Silence from a Woman I Know to be Most Well-Spoken. Pray, Consent to Be My Friend, and Attend My Wedding, and Thus Put Both our Qualms to Rest, and Begin Anew as Acquaintances of the Best Kind.'
Taking her Silence, Finally, as Answer, he said, 'As Soon as You Are Settled, I Will Mention Your Attendance to Anne, who Will Arrange It so it Is of Little Inconvenience to Anyone, Even Miriam. Then, I Will - '
'Indeed, Sir!' cried Lauren, Most Indignantly. 'I Pray You do Not Put Yourself Out of Your Way in Doing Any Thing of the Sort. I do Not, and Indeed Will Not, Accept Any Invitation Meant to Soothe The Ruffled Feathers of Any One Involved, or to Allay Fears and Fulfill Debts to Those Whose Guilt and Cowardice Forbid them to Offer Friendship in Any but the Most Coincidental and Clandestine Settings. In Refusing this Invitation, I May Indeed Assume that I am Fulfilling the Wishes of Every One of Us Involved, for I Would not Wish to Risk in Any Way the Delicate Balance of Temperament in Miss Barrett, Nor Your Precarious Standing in Her Affections that Allows Her to Rule Your Choice of Friends with Threats of Possible Unfounded Suspicions. I Thank You Again, for Your Assistance and Your Arm, but You Need Not Wait. - Mr. Fenwick Will Escort Me Home.'
She Released Mr. Worthington's Arm, Bowed to Him, and Said in Parting,
'I Will Wish You Joy Now, Sir, In Your Marriage, for I Trust We Shall Never Chance to Meet Again.'
With These Words, she Left Mr. Worthington in the street and Proceeded Alone the Few Blocks to the Inn Where Her Family had Not Long Ago Set up Such an Emergency that it had Unintentionally Required her Utter Frustration and Humiliation Twice in One Morning.
Chapter the Fifth
Lauren, Walking Briskly (Half from Great Anxiety Regarding Mr. Fenwick, Half from Shame and Anger Regarding Mr. Worthington), Reached the Inn in Respectable Time, and Quite Fortunately was Able to Stop Mr. Fenwick Before he Finished his Business with the Innkeeper.
'Mr. Fenwick,' she Entreated when He was Close Enough to Hear, 'I Really Must Insist that You Do Nothing Further to Conclude this Business.'
'Miss Brumhurst! - Surely You did Not Walk Here Alone, on your Turned Ankle?'
'Indeed, Sir,' replied She, 'If I could Dance Last Night, Surely I could Stand a Small Walk This Morning, Especially for Such a Purpose.' She had Made up Her Mind Not to Mention Any Thing Regarding This Morning's Walk to Mr. Fenwick, Nor to Any One. 'It Must Be Between Ourselves Alone,' she Thought, Trusting Mr. Worthington to Keep His Own Counsel on the Matter.
Mr. Fenwick, Mistaking her Momentary Agitation, said quickly, 'I was Afraid that You Would Indeed Feel Yourself Responsible for Things Which Most Certainly do Not Reflect Upon You.'
'Yes; Your Mother Informed me of This Errand When I Made Inquiries Inferring My Belief in Your Less-than-Perfect Health. Sir, I Must Beg Your Pardon for the Outrageous Conduct of My Family-'
At That Moment, Mrs. Brumhurst, Hearing her Foolish Daughter Lauren in the Street Below, Leaned BareHeaded Through the Window and Shouted-
'There you Are, Mischievous Girl! To Think, You Managed to Get Yourself Invited to the Fenwick's House, Only to Leave Us With Rooms as Small as These! It is an Insult to the Family! - Why, Poor Agnes Has Not Room in Her Closet For Even Half Her Evening Gowns!'
'Agnes Should Not Need Room for Such Things, Madam,' replied Lauren, Colouring. Her Friend, Feeling Most Sympathetically for Miss Brumhurst, Had Averted his Eyes from Both Brumhurst Ladies; However, He Guessed Correctly the Shame his Friend Must Be Experiencing, and Stepped Forward to Speak, when Mrs. Brumhurst Continued -
'And Why Ever Not? Just Because She Looks Far More Well than you in Every Colour and Style, and you Resent Her for It, is Not Reason Enough to Torture Us All With These Rooms!'
'Have you Forgotten, Madam, that We are in Mourning?'
'Oh! - That,' Scoffed Mrs. Brumhurst, 'Matilda was a Silly Child at Any Rate; it Would Be a Waste of Fabric to Mourn Her any Longer than We Already Have.'
Lauren could No Longer Look at Her Mother, Nor Mr. Fenwick, though She Felt His Eyes Upon Her Pityingly.
This Slight Look of Friendship Between Them did Not go Unnoticed by Mrs. Brumhurst, who Promptly Continued, 'But do Not Fret, Lauren. It is All Right Now. Mr. Fenwick was Most Helpful, and I am Assured He Will Soon Spirit Us Off to New, Better Rooms.'
'I am Sure Mr. Fenwick is Already Far Too Busy With-'
'He Was Quite a Gentleman Throughout the Whole Affair. Indeed - and Do Not the Pair of You Look Well! I Dare Say You'll Make My Daughter a Good Match, Sir.'
'Might I Remind You, Madam,' Lauren Replied, Standing as Tall as her Embarrassment and Bad Ankle Would Let Her, 'That Mr. Fenwick is Engaged to be Married. You are Here to Witness the Announcement of That Very Occasion. I Importune You to Refrain from Saying Anything Further as To-'
'Nonsense, Child! Mind Your Manners! Nothing in This Gentleman's Life is Yet Final. Engagements are Broken Daily.'
'Excuse me for Interrupting, Madam,' Came Forth Mr. Fenwick, Drawing Lauren Aside. 'My Dear Miss Brumhurst,' He Began, 'You had Best-'
'Oh, Mr. Fenwick, Please Say Nothing Kind, for I Do Not Think I Could Bear Then Having a Friend with Such Forbearance. I am Undeserving; My Family is Such That Any Respect Accorded Me Must be Diminished Severely Upon Even the Slightest Acquaintance With Them!'
'No, Indeed, Though You Might have Been Quite Accidentally Born Into It, You are Most Certainly Not A Part of the Brumhurst Family. I have Taken the Liberty of Arranging New Lodgings for Your Parents and Sister in Hopes That, if Such Arrangements Make Them Happy, They Will Be That Much Less a Burden to Yourself, Dear Friend. It Pains Me to Have Seen You Suffer So Last Night at Their Hands.'
Lauren Extended her Undying Gratitude for the Presence of Such a Friend, and Before a Quarter of an Hour Had Passed, He Had Left His Own Carriage For Use by the Brumhursts Whenever they Were Ready, and Hired a Barouche for The Purpose of Spiriting Lauren Homewards. He Assured Her His Business with the Keepers of Both Inns would be Brief, 'and He Would be Home Before the Bacon had Got Cold.'
After Most Reluctantly Quitting the Young Miss Brumhurst, and During his Return to His Fiancée, Mr. Worthington's Mind was Very Much Occupied with Reflection as to the Conversation that Had Passed. He, Upon Further Analisation, was Most Astonished to Realize How Improper Their Easy, Intimate Conversation would Seem to His Ladylike Miriam. However, He was Not Certain She Could Be Offended by Such Fulfilling Conversation, as Any Fancy or Respect Miriam Might have Held for Witty Conversation, or Indeed Most Any Conversation, Had Not Manifested Itself to Him as of Yet. He Sincerely Wished, Indeed, Almost Felt a Duty to Miss Brumhurst to Explain the Circumstances Surrounding his Engagement to Miriam Barrett. 'Perhaps,' he Thought, 'if She was Privy to the Impossibilities of My Situation, she Would Feel More Sympathy for Me than She Does at Present.' He Soon Caught and Chastised Himself, However, for Even Entertaining Such Thoughts.
'Indeed,' He Found Himself Speaking Aloud, 'What Care I for Her Good Wishes? Why am I Putting Myself Out So, Simply to Explain Unnecessarily the Circumstances of My Engagement to a Woman With Whom I am Not Nearly Related, Nor Even Acquainted? Pull Yourself Together, Man! She May Be Genial, And Witty, and Lovely, but as She Not Five Minutes Ago Reminded You, You Are Engaged, and There is No Point to Speculation Now.'
He Might Have Continued in Such a Vein for a Considerable Period of Time, had Not He Been Interrupted by a Voice, Calling from Across the Street -
'I Say! - Mr. Worthington! Good Day to You!'
Upon Closer Observation, Mr. Worthington Could Discern that it was Mr. Bingley Hailing Him Thus, with his Wife Jane and Mr. Worthington's Cousin Mr. Palmer at His Side. 'Ah!,' thought He, 'Mr. Palmer Must Have Recognised Me, and Now Mr. Bingley Cannot in Good Conscience Pass Up the Acquaintance. It is Just the Kind Sort of Thing I Would Have Expected From Him.'
He Crossed the Street Most Quickly, and Hearty Introductions and Congratulations were Made. It Fell to Mr. Worthington, Then, to Continue the Conversation in a Manner that Would Prove his Eligibility to Be the Friend of the Greatest Gentleman for Many Neighborhoods Over.
'Indeed, Sir,' He Said, 'Might I Ask What Brings You to Meryton This Morning?'
'You Might, Indeed,' Replied Mr. Bingley, Smiling. 'My Friend Colonel Fitzwilliam, Who at this Moment Has Disappeared, no Doubt for Covert Reasons of His Own, Is Meeting a Coach Here, Which I Understand Will Bear Two of His Great Friends. My Wife and I Saw a Great Opportunity to Enjoy the Morning Air, and Mr. Palmer has Only Recently Joined Our Party. It Appears He Went Out Quite Early to Attend to Some Errands of his Own.'
Indeed, Mr. Worthington Could Discern a Parcel Shaped Most Similarly to a Book, Tucked Away Under his Eloquent Cousin's Arm.
'But Pray,' Mrs. Bingley Continued, 'Let Us Not Exclude You from a Conversation You Yourself Introduced. What Happy Business Takes You Into the Fabric Row?'
'By Your Use of 'Happy Business,' Madam, I Assume You Must be in a Position to Know of My Engagement to Miriam Barrett. Therefore, You Might Also Conjecture, and Most Accurately, that I Accompany Her Here to Assist in Making Decisions Regarding Wedding Attire - Although I Must Say, It Does Seem that She Gets On Quite Well Without Me - More Well than I Should Perhaps Like.'
All Laughed at this Jest, Save Mr. Palmer, Who Only Smiled Knowingly.
At That Moment, the Colonel Appeared, a Large Bouquet of Tulips in His Arms; the Possession of Which he Quickly Relinquished to Mrs. Bingley, Saying,
'Madam, As a Show of My Appreciation of Your Impeccable Manners, Quiet Ways, Skillful Hosting, and No Doubt a Myriad Range of Musical and Artistic Accomplishments which I Have Yet to Enjoy, Might I Present this Small Token.'
They Were Accepted with Much Gratitude and Even More Modesty; and Mr. Worthington was Charmed to See that a Married Woman, of Such Circumstances that Need Never Show Either Modesty Nor Embarrassment, could Still Colour.
Colonel Fitzwilliam was Soon Acquainted with the Newest Addition to Mr. Bingley's Acquaintance, and They Talked Most Jovially Until the Sound of Carriage Wheels was Heard, and the Colonel Went to Meet His Friends.
The First, Mr. Worthington Was Informed through Introduction, was Sir Ian Malcolm. He was of Middle Age, Having Reached Perhaps Six-and-Thirty Years, and Mr. Worthington Felt Such a Wave of Jealous Apprehension that He was Hard-Pressed to Restrain a Shudder. He Could Not Place the Source of His Unease for Quite a Few Moments; When It Came to Him that It Might Involve Miss Brumhurst, He Banished the Feeling Immediately.
The Next to Alight Looked Quite a Bit Like the Gentleman Our Heroine Had Been Seeking on the Way to the Inn (and Indeed, with Good Cause, dear Reader). He was Introduced as Jerome Fenwick; a Name Which Gave Mr. Worthington Pause as Having Heard it Connected With Whispers of Some Small Scandal or Other Which Must Needs Circulate Among Those of Limited Acquaintance and Much Free Time. However, the Gentleman's Proud Bearing of the Navy Colours and his Easy Manner Soon Endeared him Greatly to All the Party, except Perhaps for Mrs. Bingley, who was Heard by Mr. Worthington as Saying to her Husband,
'I Had No Idea This was the Man of Whom the Colonel Spoke! I Do Hope the Unpleasantness Between Himself and his Family has Been Resolved, or There Shall Be Some Great Inquietude This Evening.'
But on the Whole, This Morning Meeting Ended Most Amiably, and Indeed, Mr. Worthington Carried with Him on His Way Back, an Invitation form the Bingleys to Join his Cousin in Supper that Evening, to be Held at Netherfield. When He Had Ascertained the Certainty of His Cousin Anne's Inclusion Also, He Left Them in the Highest of Hopes. (We Shall Allow Him to Believe These Hopes Arose Because He Feels He Could Please his Intended, dear Reader, but Perhaps Even He Would Acknowledge, to Some Degree, that His Feelings Arose from a Quite Different Quarter Altogether.)
When He Re-Entered the Shop, He Found Miss Barrett and Miss Waltmire Still Engaged in Discussion Over the Same Bolt of Fabric They Had Been Appraising Near an Hour Ago; However, the Discussion was Far From Regarding Any Nature of the Fabric Before Them.
'But did You See, Dear Anne,' spake Miss Barrett, 'her Style? - Or Lack Thereof, I Might Safely Say. Such a Jacket and Bonnet, on Such a Day!'
'But Miriam,' replied the Other, 'She Is in Mourning for Her Sister.'
'Then it Would be Well for her to Dress in Black from Head to Slippers, so that At Least We May Know What she is About.'
'My Dear Friend,' said Anne, 'Perhaps she Does Not Posses The Means You Would Have in Such a Situation, As Make Her Capable of Ordering Full Mourning Dress.'
'Well, I Still Think it a Shameful Display,' Concluded Miss Barrett.
However, Before She Could Continue Her Opinions of Miss Brumhurst, Her Intended Stepped In to Inform the Both of the Honor Conferred on Them; a Turn of Events Which Pleased Anne Immensely ('Oh! - I Have Wanted to Speak More with Miss Brumhurst!'), and Did Some Great Amelioration to Miss Barrett's Opinion of Our Heroine.
'Well, I Must Say The Turning of Her Ankle Appears to Have Happened at a Most Fortuitous Time.'