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Chapter One
When the hero lives "happily ever after" with his wife
What will happen to the women that have passed through his life?
No one mourns or cries over their sorrow
As they have to endure the pain of living without him another tomorrow
As he and his beloved ride out to the sunset
The women have to hide exactly what he meant
But will the readers forgive her final sin
For she is the one not to win?
Will she look at her hero again
And see in his place another man?
Here is the story of a woman cast into an evil mold
Be patient my dears, as it will be told
But, hope and pray for me
That she will finally see
The truth of what she can be.
She sat her eyes filled swimmingly with tears as she watched the actors on the stage. "Oh happy dagger!" she heard Juliet cry. She was in part, half-tempted to yell, "Pardon, but may I use it after you?" She looked down at her hands and chuckled. Her brother would not believe these emotions she was experiencing, however she could scarcely believe them herself. She sighed woefully as the play finished and walked out of the balcony without a look at anyone.
"Miss Bingley!" she heard a man call behind her. She raised her eyebrows curiously as she turned around. Oh, bother. Not another person to deal with. All she wanted was to go home in her carriage and have a good spout. But, as she turned around her eyes formed into a half-smile.
"Andy!" she exclaimed gleefully. "How long has it been since I have last seen you?"
"Mr. Vassar," he corrected her gently. "Remember my dear Caroline, we are in public." The two stepped out of the building together and stepped into a corner in which they could talk by themselves.
She rolled her eyes at him, "Pardon, excuse me." Then her eyes jokingly added. "Mr. Xavier Vassar."
He sighed, "No, Caroline! Not that confounded name! Xavier! You win! Andy it is."
"Thank you," she softly replied. She looked down and looked up at him and said softer still. "How are you these days, Andy? I haven't seen you."
Mr. Xavier Andrew Vassar looked down at his best friend sympathetically, "I know, my dear. But, I must insist- you must get over him. He is not yours."
"But-But," she looked down and whispered. "Andrew... no one knows how I wanted him to be. My Fitzw-"
"But he is not," he broke off her sentence. He looked down for somewhere to sit. "Sit down, Caroline." She sat sadly on the bench. "Caroline, he is happy and as much as I...care for you I cannot help but feel happy for him."
She bit her lip as she looked at him with her eyes shining, "But, Andrew do you know what it is like loving someone, but knowing in your heart you can never have them because there is a barrier between the two. I accept he doesn't love me." A silence. "But, what I cannot except in my heart is not to love him."
Andrew observed her in silence and spoke huskily. "Indeed I do know."
The pair met eyes and the female looked down as he tried to meet her eyes.
"Caroline," he tried. Then he coughed and tried again. "Caroline, you know I am not a romantic. God knows that. But, I cannot deny or not speak to you what has bothering me for ages. You know what I am speaking of- I can see it in your face." He gasped for breath as he concluded huskily and grabbed her hand. "Caroline I love you. Perhaps, I always have."
She gasped. "Andy no!"
His eyes focused with hers in determination. "Yes, Caroline I do." He looked down and bit his lip. "Maybe I have been wrong in telling you this now, but my heart cannot be denied. I know you are vulnerable, but I would not consider myself worthy if I did not ask you a question."
"Worthy of what?" she required softly. "Worthy of being a man? Andrew you are a man - I know that."
He met her eyes tearfully at this moment. "Then how come sometimes when I look at you and..." he hesitated. "When I look at you..."
She nodded and understood what he meant.
"Why do you look away from me then?" he whispered.
Caroline bit her lip. "I-I don't know. Wait, yes I do know. Andy you are my friend. Nothing less, nothing more."
Andrew knew it was wrong. Yes, it was. Wrong time, wrong place, but he had to ask it. "Could you ever consider being possibly more?" He quickly added. "Could you ever consider being my wife?"
"B-But, Andy," she stuttered. "I-I don't love you. Not in that way."
"I-It doesn't matter," he stumbled clumsily over the words. "Marry me, Caroline. We can be happy together."
She looked at her heart for the answer. Her heart had never served her right before and she had nothing else to lose-except the dearest friendship of all Andy's. What she do?
Caroline Bingley looked up into Xavier Andrew Vassar's eyes and timidly whispered, "How?"
"I-I don't know, my dearest," he said huskily. "But, it is just... when I look at you I know I can be happy forever."
Caroline bit her lip and looked at her friend jealously. How can he be in love with me? She wondered. I could-can never be in love with him.
"Please Caroline," he whispered. "Please make me happy."
All of her life she had always made a promise to herself- Never allow Andy to be unhappy if she possibly could. For his sake she sighed and whispered, "Yes."
"Yes?" he asked with pure joy.
Knowing this answer could change the course of her whole life she repeated. "Yes." And she bequeathed herself to the conflicts and consequences that were soon to come.
Chapter Two
"You? Marry Caroline?" Charles Bingley gasped at his longtime friend in astonishment?"
Andrew grinned wryly at his friend. "Do you have any other unwed sisters whom I can ask their hand in marriage? Of course, Caroline!"
Charles remained silent for a minute as he looked at his friend directly. "Well, I don't know what to say. This is so unexpected. I think the fair question would be to ask is- Are you in love with her?"
"Of course," Andrew answered without hesitation, then winced as he said. "No, Charles she is not in love with me."
"Then why are you doing this?" Charles exclaimed. "Is this some sort of self-destruction for you?"
Andrew looked down and sighed for a minute then looked up and met Charles eyes. "Sometimes when I have lost all hope at everything, Caroline has been there to tell me to believe in myself." He paused.
Charles bit his lip and hesitated. "I think I ought to give you a fair warning of what she can be."
"Do not bother yourself," Andrew said somewhat impatiently. "I know what she is." He sighed.
"Indeed you do," Charles replied thoughtfully. "But consider the situation, Andy. She has broken her heart-what makes you think she will ever come to love you?"
"How did you know that Jane would still love you after you had broken hers?" Andrew replied to this.
Charles scowled at the thought of "breaking Jane's heart" and said harshly. "Unlike Caroline, I had a chance with Jane. Caroline never had a bloody chance with Darcy."
Andrew focused on his friend with his face red. "Damn you, sir! She is your own sister! How dare you to say that!"
Charles furrowed his eyebrows as his face turned red. "No damn you! How dare you to imply that I broke my own wife's heart?"
Andrew looked at him directly. "Blood is thicker than water, Charles. That is something that I have been taught all of my life. I may or may not agree with some of MY families characteristics, but I would stand by and defend them until someone killed me."
The two men stared at each other unblinkingly. Then Charles looked down with a defeated sigh. "You are right, of course. I am truly sorry."
Andrew unclenched his jaw and said thoughtfully. "I don't think it is me that you have to forgive. I think it's yourself."
Charles sighed and nodded. After a moment, he turned to his friend. "I give you my consent, of course." He paused, but could not help but add for his friend's sake. "I hope you receive want you are wanting."
Andrew looked at Charles and gave him a sad smile. "I shall hope so too. Good day, sir."
The two friends shook hands as friends and walked out of the room. One happy with the outcome, but one seriously concerned for his friend.
Chapter Three
Andrew came into the sight of Netherfield Park and started walking its pathways and smiled to himself silently as he caught sight of Caroline. His Caroline. How wonderful it felt to say that now. His long sought Caroline. He sighed as he remembered his conversation with Charles. Yes, he admitted to himself- yes, Caroline was a little headstrong, and sometimes can be crude, but what everyone seemed not to see the side he remembered. Once upon a time before Darcy, he sighed to himself, as he thought.
He liked Fitzwilliam Darcy, the friend that his oldest friend Charles Bingley brought home from Cambridge, but what he had not counted on was Caroline's infatuation for the man. At first, he was not jealous. He was Caroline and Charles childhood friend. Yes, he and Caroline were slightly closer than Charles, but they never felt romantically inclined toward each other. Then slowly, but gradually as Caroline grew more infatuated and spent less time with him- he was bloody green and his eyes practically spit nails at Darcy.
Darcy one day came towards him puzzled and said, "Vassar, why do you look at me that way?"
Andrew smiled ironically at Darcy's puzzlement, "In which way do you mean, Darcy?" He asked innocently.
"You look as if you were going to slug me," Darcy grinned as Andrew laughed at this statement.
As Andrew finished laughing, he explained himself. And suddenly everything dawned upon Darcy.
"Could you do me a favour?" Darcy asked.
"Depends," Andrew hesitated.
"Tell her your affections," Darcy grinned at him. "Because the sooner you do- the sooner she will stop hanging on me."
But, to Darcy's disappointment and amazement Andrew couldn't. He couldn't ruin his and Caroline's friendship. Suddenly, his favourite uncle died and lived in the south of England and his family required Andrew's help in getting the family back onto their feet.
Devotedly, Andrew traveled there and stayed for three years. And when he got back and saw Caroline he was in shock. No longer did she wear the dresses she used to, in its place were bright orange dresses and an attitude in which he could not admire. But, as Caroline's other friends drifted away, Good ol' Andy stood by her side.
He sighed as walked down the path getting closer by the minute of being by her side. Charles thought he was crazy, but he was getting something in his mind, he always wanted.
"Good day, Miss Bingley," he smiled at her.
She turned around and let out a gasp, "G-Good day, Mr. Vassar. I didn't know you were here."
"What are you doing today?" Andrew smiled.
"Thinking," she sighed. "Thinking about us." She closed her eyes. "Oh, Andy. I feel like I'm making the wrong decision. I am trapping you into something you will regret. If you want to break our engagement now I will understand."
Andrew smiled warmly at her and took her hand and said softly looking into her eyes. "I feel as if I am forcing you. Caroline, you must understand- I want this." He bit his lip and hesitated. "Do you? Please tell the truth.
"I-I don't know," she cried. Then she whispered, "I don't want to hurt you."
He looked down and then straightened himself. "Do not worry about me."
She grinned slowly. "I have to or who will?"
He grinned back at her. "I bring gifts to my lady."
"Gifts?" she smiled in confusion.
"Yes," he smiled at her. He handed her a box. "Open it."
She opened the parcel. It contained a beautiful rose coloured dress which was part silk and satin. It was an astonishing beautiful dress.
He whispered softly. "As soon as I saw it it reminded me of what you wore on your coming out. No vision was a beautiful as you were on that day."
She looked at the dress and looked at his dark blue eyes. For once, Caroline Bingley did not know what to say. "Thank you, Andy."
He bit his lip before he said. "All my friends call me Andy or Vassar. Caroline could you ever call me Xavier?"
She took a deep breath as she whispered questioningly. "Xavier?"
He looked at her with such passion as she said this. She had a sudden impulse and feeling that he was going to kiss her. She quickly turned her head and added. "Isn't this such a wonderful day?"
He looked at her with such desperation she felt like crying. But, she kept talking because she was so scared.
"I don't think I have ever seen such beautiful trees," she added trying to walk away, but he caught her hand and pulled her back to him.
"Caroline," he whispered hesitantly. "Could you ever love me?"
Caroline gave him a scared doe look.
"Caroline," he tried again. "Could you ever call me Xavier?"
She cried, "I-I don't know! Andy, I am so scared!" Then she wept tears.
"Shh..." he calmed her down. "It's okay...I am here. Caroline, I will always be here."
And as she looked up, she gave him a look which he understood.
Chapter Four
Walking into the house, letting the breeze float behind her, Caroline thought mischievously to herself - What would Louisa say? She paused for a minute and laughed at herself. What an ironic thing to think! Louisa herself didn't enter into marriage loving her husband. Yet, the look Andy gave her just remembering it made her breath catch. What was the reason for this? There was no confusion in her mind that she did not love him, so what could it possibly be?
"Good day, dear sister," Caroline's green eyes grinned at her sister.
"What did you do now?" was all that Louisa asked. "You are certainly not planning for highwaymen to kidnap Elizabeth Darcy are you?" Louisa Hurst appeared alarmed.
Caroline laughed. "Do you really think of me capable of that?"
Louisa's unwillingness to respond gave Caroline her answer.
Caroline rolled her eyes and laughed, "Although it would really serve Elizabeth Darcy right," Caroline bit her lip as her sister looked at her fearfully. "Darcy can have his wife and keep her with good riddance."
Louisa gave Caroline a grateful sigh. "This, my dear, is the best news I've heard all day." But, then she raised her eyebrows. "Why do you appear happy, then?"
"Isn't a woman entitled to be happy?" Caroline inquired.
Louisa didn't answer and moved on, "Andy Vassar is visiting Charles. Is that why?"
"Well, yes," Caroline admitted. "I enjoy Andy's company. Is that wrong?"
"Yes," Louisa said promptly. "Because you lead him on."
"Me!" Caroline exclaimed. "Lead him on! Why do you say this?"
Louisa sighed. "You have to know he loves you. You should distance yourself."
Caroline sighed and picked up with a brush and fumbled with it and said haltingly, "I'm marrying him, Louisa."
Louisa's eyes opened wide, "Whatever for? His twenty thousand pounds a year?"
Caroline looked sharply at her sister, "If that was so, I would have married him a long time ago."
"Then Caroline," Louisa said with concern on her face. "Why?"
Chapter Five
What would it feel like to have a moment like this?
Silent, patient, friendliness sparkling in your eyes
In other words, pure bliss?
Not giving or taking more than I feel and no lies
Between us one moment lasts forever
As we dance this reel
When we laugh and talk together
Nothing, even love felt this real.
Caroline stumbled out of her bed and walked to the window and sighed. It was turning into autumn, her favourite time of the year. She closed her eyes and remembered her dream. It was funny for it wasn't often that she dreamed things that actually happened before.
"Hi, Mr. Vassar," fifteen-year-old Caroline Bingley said slyly.
"Aren't we proper today?" the young lad of seventeen answered. "How are we today, Miss Caroline?"
"Quite well, thank you," her green eyes grinned at him. She bit her lip and peered behind his back. "What are you doing, Andy?"
He rolled his eyes, "Curiosity did kill the cat, Caroline."
"And satisfaction brought her back again," she answered promptly.
Andy laughed, his dimples grinned from ear to ear. "Ice skating, Caroline. Want to go?"
"Sure!" she exclaimed.
As they went out to the ice pond they played like little children. Then suddenly there was a crack and suddenly and quickly Caroline started to go underneath the water.
"Annnnnndyyyy!" She screeched on the top of her lungs. "Heeeeeelpppp meeeee!"
As suddenly and swiftly as he could, Andy came to her rescue. Luckily through fate, he saved her life.
"Andy," she exclaimed freezing. "You saved my life."
"No," he said as he carried her back. "It was my fault."
"No," Caroline said firmly. "You saved my life. I owe you mine."
"You don't owe me anything," Andy stated. "Remember that."
As Caroline sat looking into the mist thinking about this and remembering her words, she knew she never could forget it. No matter what he said, she owed him everything.
Chapter Six
Caroline Bingley put on her orange dress and wrinkled her nose in the mirror. "Mirror, mirror, on the wall whom is the fairest woman of all?"
"Elizabeth Darcy," the mirror proclaimed.
"What?!" Caroline gasped.
"That is right," the male voice said again. "Elizabeth Darcy."
Caroline bit her lip as a tear fell down her cheek and whispered, "Elizabeth Darcy?"
"YES!" the mirror screeched out and began laughing. "HAAAAAAAAA!"
Caroline let out a sudden gasp and looked around her. Her face turned bright red. "I'm so sorry. Mr. Collins, please continue."
She closed her eyes and sighed. What a terrible daydream! Then, she critically looked at the people around her until she found the face she was searching for. She bit her lip. Mrs. Darcy wasn't that pretty. Frankly, she didn't know what people saw in her. Then she scowled to herself and then smiled.
"Pray, Mrs. Darcy how is married life?" she said kindly (evilly).
Mrs. Darcy looked at her husband and then turned to Caroline to give her a spontaneous smile. "I believe, Miss Bingley, I have not found a life style to which I was most suited to."
"I am surprised that there are not little Darcys running about," Caroline bluntly commented.
Elizabeth's eyes welled up. It had been two years since her marriage and still no children. Of course, this was the first time since their marriage that Caroline had been "allowed" to see the Darcys.
To this Mr. Darcy gave Miss Bingley a sharp look and said as sweetly a baritone voice can, "Will you possibly continue to be single all of your life, Miss Bingley?"
And suddenly a tenor voice spoke up and said cheerfully, "No, she will not. Good afternoon, Darcy. It is nice to see you here. I hope you are well?"
The Darcys gave him a look of astonishment. Finally, Elizabeth managed to speak up. "Excuse me, Mr. Vassar?
Andy gave her a brilliant smile, "I take it you have met my fiancée, Miss Caroline Bingley. I will stand in to be her interpreter today."
Caroline raised her eyebrows. "Oh, really?"
Andy cleared his throat. "She does not like this idea."
Caroline sighed.
"I better watch out," he grinned. "She's giving me the evil eye."
"Mrs. Darcy, have you been to London, lately," Caroline tried to ask.
"Did you buy anything there? Because I'm sure I can tell you something I got better." he interpreted.
Mrs. Darcy laughed at the expression on Caroline's face and then tried to stifle it.
"No, Mr. Vassar," she curtly said. "THAT was not what I was going to say."
"Oh, it certainly was," he amended for her. "I'm just not as blunt as that."
"Fine," Caroline snapped. "If you want to play this game. Fine!"
Then she turned to Mr. Darcy. "Did you know that Mr. Vassar has been in love with me all of my life? I believe he was at the point that he was so jealous at one time that he wanted to fight you."
As Andy remained silent, Mr. Darcy said. "I don't see why he would fight for you."
Andy sighed. "It is true what she is saying Mr. Darcy. Excuse me, I must leave. Caroline, please join me."
This was not a question, it was an order.
With much reluctance, Caroline followed Andy.
Chapter Seven
Andy Vassar walked quietly into the study and closed the door. "Madam," he said calmly. "Could you please sit down."
Caroline folded her hands together and sat down.
"What are you trying to do?" he said quietly. "Are you trying to make an utter fool of yourself?"
"Pardon?" she asked softly with her eyes raised.
"Don't play games with me, Caroline," he shot out. "Caroline...why do you do this? You are so much more than you are acting."
"Oh, how am I acting?" her green eyes shot out.
"Like a two-year-old that didn't get what you wanted," he said simply.
Her eyes started to water, "Maybe that's because I didn't get what I wanted, Andy."
"Call me Xavier," he insisted.
"I...can't," she whispered.
Andy looked at her in pain, then looked away. He seemed to be having an argument with himself. Then he said abruptly, "What's wrong with me Caroline? Be honest. Am I ugly? Am I not rich enough? Do you hate my personality? What makes me so...distasteful? Am I not good enough for you?"
"NO!" she cried out. "Good God, Xavier! Don't you see? I'm not good enough for you!"
He sat down beside her and lowered his blue eyes to meet her face. "Caroline, do me a favour. Be kinder to the Darcys. It is not their fault you are unhappy."
"Andy, I-" she whispered through tears.
He took her delicately by the chin and brought her eyes to meet his and kissed her.
Then he stood up and gave her a splendid grin and said, "Good evening, Miss Bingley."
Caroline Bingley looked at him in astonishment and said softly, "Good evening, Mr. Vassar."
Blue eyes met the green ones and suddenly they both broke out into nervous laughter.
Chapter Eight
Andy coughed as he led Caroline back into the sitting area and gave her one last look as he and the men went into the study to talk and drink their liquor. Of course, dear Andy despised liquor and never touched the stuff. While he was pondering his troubles, Caroline was musing over a laugh and a kiss.
"Miss Bingley?" she heard a sweet voice speak up.
"Yes?" her face turned scarlet. Then she gave a sheepish smile. "I'm sorry, Jane."
Jane looked at Miss Bingley and smiled. "Caroline, my dear sister may I inquire something?"
Caroline looked at the two former Bennets and spoke haltingly. "I suppose so."
"Are you and Mr. Vassar really engaged?" Jane bit her lip as she said this.
Caroline sighed and looked down. "Yes, we are Mrs. Bingley."
Jane now sighed and smiled. "How many times do I have to tell you - we are sisters now. Call me Jane."
"You sound just like Andy," Caroline commented to herself silently.
Mrs. Elizabeth Darcy had ears of a bat- she could hear everything. This last comment made her desperately want to laugh, and so she did.
Caroline looked around. "Excuse me, Mrs. Darcy, but is there anything that is quite diverting?"
Elizabeth sighed and tried to swallow the chuckle that was forming inside her. "Honestly, Miss Bingley, you are extremely diverting. May, I ask you what exactly are your intentions to Mr. Xavier Vassar?"
Caroline looked up in surprise. "Intentions?" She then bit her lip. "As always as they have been. To be his companion, his friend."
Elizabeth closed her eyes. "And you are marrying him for this?"
"What choice do I have?" Caroline then looked at Mrs. Collins for a second then focused her eyes at Elizabeth. "If I do not marry I am redeemed as an old maid - a person who is so ugly that they are not worth catching..."
"Every person has a choice," Mrs. Collins put in softly. "Maybe I regret the choice I made now, and maybe I had been in a different situation I would have not have chosen what I did. But I made that choice; a choice many women will have to pay forever. Are you willing to make that choice forever, Miss Bingley?"
"B-But it's not like that," Caroline exclaimed haltingly. "I care for him."
Elizabeth and Jane looked at each other as the said at the same time, "As a lover or as a friend?"
At the moment that Caroline was about to answer the question, Mr. Charles Bingley summoned his sister to talk outside.
And the ladies Mrs. Darcy, Mrs. Bingley, and Mrs. Collins were left somewhat disappointed for they wanted to know Caroline's answer.
Chapter Nine
Dare I tell you that when I hear your voice, I automatically know who it is?
Your look, your smile, your hair
Just the sensation sends me into total bliss
As you look at me trustingly without a care
I feel these feelings I should not
I did not intend to fall in love with you
But, my dearest-I forgot
As we meet green eyes with blue
I feel sensations I never knew
There is no woman I rather woo
For in the morning's mist or the midnight's dew
I shall always admit that I am in love with you.
As Bingley went to talk to his sister, Caroline, Fitzwilliam Darcy and his friend Andrew Vassar decided to take a walk through Netherfield's grounds. Of course, it could also be called a "turn", but seeing as this was two men walking together, I shall not call it a "turn."
Vassar walked in silence then timidly reached out for no apparent reason for a stick. A long stick, that could be handled as a cane. "Darcy," he turned to his friend and softly grinned. "Think I will look like this when I am old?"
Darcy raised his eyebrows and grinned. "Don't forget the wrinkles, Andy. With Caroline on your hands, believe me, you'll receive them."
Andy rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "I think not." Then he sighed and sat down on a stump of a tree. "Darcy, you don't know Caroline like I do. You've known her all your life as this "pest" that has always been in love with you."
"But," Darcy interrupted. "She's never been in love with me, she loves my money. Or...I don't know." He looked up at his friend wryly. "If it was for that reason, maybe I could understand, perhaps. But you are richer than I am!"
Andy closed his eyes and said slowly, "I thought maybe she's convinced herself over the years, she was in love with you. I...I don't think Caroline has really been in love before..." his voice trailed off.
Darcy looked at his friend seriously, "Then what makes you want and think she's in love with you?"
"Because, Darcy," he exclaimed. "There is this goodness in her that no one else sees, and I think even she has forgotten it."
Darcy said something that has always been nagging on his mind, but could never quite say it until now, "Caroline's her best when she is with you."
"Thank you, Darcy," Andy said softly. "But, I deserve no such compliment."
Darcy patted his back and slowly made his way inside, leaving Andy with his thoughts. Although, they both have met through Bingley they both were closer friends than they were to Bingley. The reason for this is their ability to say what was on their mind to each other.
Andy sat there thinking about everything, until he realized the time and made his way into the house. As he was making his way to the room his was staying at Netherfield, a servant called out to him.
"Mr. Vassar! Mr. Vassar!" the servant said hurriedly. "An express just came for you."
Andrew Vassar grasped the express kindly from the servant and opened it up hurriedly. As he read through the letter, his eyes widened with terror and knew he had to leave Netherfield immediately.
Chapter Ten
Dearest Caroline,
I am sorry I could not explain to you in person why I shall I have to leave so suddenly. Its consequence I cannot even explain to you. But, I hope you should trust me on this matter and believe me to be in love with you.Maybe, this separation will teach us both something we both need to learn. Patience I shall learn, for my impatience to see your face again grows even as I write this letter. And what you shall learn, I think you need to determine that yourself, my Caroline. For I cannot make you love me, and will not try to. You are my fiancée, but I am not your master. I hope I shall leave you and your family in good health. I will write to you when I possibly can, and I hope it will be soon.
Remaining yours forever,
Xavier
Caroline blinked in shock as she read his letter. Andy gone? Why did he not tell her why he was leaving? Did he not trust her? For some desperate reason, Caroline found herself wanting to cry. She quietly called to her dress assistant Laura into the room.
"Miss Bingley," the woman said to her. "What shall you wear today?"
Caroline looked at her with uncertainty. "Well...how about you choose, Laura. I don't feel much like choosing today."
Laura raised her eyebrows at Miss Bingley. "Very well, miss." She turned to a lovely rose coloured dress and showed it to Caroline. "Is this fine, madam?"
Caroline let out a slight gasp.
"Is there something wrong, miss?" Laura wrinkled her eyebrows.
"No..." Caroline said softly. "Nothing wrong." Then murmured to herself. "Andy gave that to me..."
Caroline put the dress on and had her hair fixed beautifully and Laura sighed in satisfaction. "You look beautiful, Miss Bingley," she said plainly.
"I-I do?" a slow smile curved around her lips.
"I wouldn't say it if it weren't true," Laura twisted her mouth. "Now, scat. You are going to be late for breakfast."
As Caroline made her way down to the breakfast table everyone looked up in surprise.
"Miss Bingley," Mrs. Darcy smiled at her. "You look quite beautiful today."
"You do also," Caroline returned the compliment.
"Where did you get that beautiful dress?" Jane Bingley asked.
Caroline looked down and hesitated as she looked up, "Mr. Vassar was kind enough to give this to me."
She looked at Andy's empty chair by her brother and then met her brother's eyes.
For what reason are you marrying Andy? She recalled her brother asking her last night. Are you in love with him?
"Yes, Mrs. Collins," Caroline tried her best to amiably to say. "I would just love to visit the Bennets today."
The Darcys and Bingleys were trying to hide a laugh inside them. Elizabeth raised her eyebrows and smiled - Caroline was trying.
Me? In love with Andy? Was her answer. Charles are you being absurd?
"Mrs. Collins," Caroline smiled at her. "I hope you husband is feeling well in Hunsford."
Mrs. Collins grinned. "I am sure he is with the full protection of the most delightful Lady Catherine de Bourgh."
The ladies around the table laughed as Darcy scowled at the mention of his aunt's name.
No, I am not. Her brother answered. Come, Caroline, what are you trying to do to Andy? Break his heart?!
Caroline sighed. My dear brother, I have no intention of doing so. Brother, sometimes my feelings about Andy Vassar are so mixed.
Charles looked at his sister in astonishment. He had never seen his sister tell this much about herself be so honest. Caroline, you must tell me. Are you in love with him?
"Caroline," Jane turned to her concerned. "Are you quite all right?'
I-I honestly do not know anymore, brother, Caroline said painfully.
Well, Charles said thoughtfully to his youngest sister. Do you think you ever could be in love with Andy?
"Yes," Caroline smiled and answered Jane.
She bit her lip and looked at her brother and said, Sometimes, well...yes. Yes, I believe I could.
Chapter Eleven
Gallantly our hero rides to save the day
Riding, riding fast through the pine trees and fir
While your lady waits as he goes along his way
Catastrophes will fall upon you dear sir
To the faithful curse that impatience does cause
Remember your lady as well as you can
A bewitching lady will not be your ultimate flaw
Only your pride that makes you that great kind of man.
Lord Victor Vassar stood anxiously pacing in his study, waiting for his son. Throughout his life he had been what could be called as "extremely lucky". He had married a beautiful and rich woman who he loved dearly. With her they had bred two extremely good-looking sons. The elder Xavier was everything he could have dreamed in a son. He was thoughtful, intelligent, good-natured, and a great sense of humor. He always seemed to be too good to be true. And the other...
"Father," a lad of seven and twenty entered the room. A lad for his father still could not think of his boys being men. "I came as soon as I possibly could."
"Thank you, Xavier," his father smiled. "Please can you sit down."
Xavier raised his eyebrows. "Personally, I think rather stand up for this one. What happened now?"
"As you know," Lord Vassar started out. "Your brother has been staying in London..."
Xavier rolled his eyes. "And getting into trouble as usual. Feed the news to me as bluntly as you possibly can, Father."
"Xavier," his father looked at him, his eyes troubled. "He got a woman pregnant."
Xavier sat down and sucked his air in. "Is this absolutely certain?"
Lord Vassar looked down. "Your brother tells me it is true. And Xavier you know how he lies! He would normally lie about something such as this. I am inclined to believe he is telling the truth."
Xavier thought this over. "Will he marry her?"
"No," Lord Vassar sighed disdainfully. "And Xavier I am inclined to agree with him on this decision. By marrying a woman he does not love he is making the worst possible mistake."
"But, duty and honor should incline him to marry this woman. After all he did," Xavier hesitated. "Perform...well..."
"But, the facts, Xavier!" his father said. "She has no fortune."
"He has no sense," Xavier grinned wryly. "That should make them equal." Xavier paused and looked out of the window and concentrated.
"Have you ever asked him if he loved her?" Xavier said abruptly. "Or are you just assuming?"
Lord Vassar raised his eyebrows. "Maybe you should ask him yourself. NICHOLAS!!!!!!!!!"
A man with brown hair with red highlights walked into the room. "Yes, father?"
Blue eyes met with blue eyes. The Vassar men are known for their mysterious blue eyes.
"Nicholas," the elder brother spoke up.
"Yes brother," Nicholas Vassar raised his eyebrows.
"Nick," Xavier said sadly. "You told me last time that no more philandering around. Can I not trust you anymore? A woman pregnant! I must admit this is a first for you. Do you want me to be proud of this?!"
Nicholas looked down, then looked up. "I must admit this is a first for me. Because I've never been in love before! I'm desperately in love with her Xavier! I want to marry her!"
"Then, what's the problem," Lord Vassar decided to speak up.
"She doesn't want to marry me," Nicholas said mournfully. "Not that I can't blame her. She is an angel. Too good for the likes of me." He raised his eyes. "That's not all. I have wronged her badly."
"How so?" Xavier said. "Maybe you can try to fix it."
"No chance," Nicholas sat in a chair. "She shall not forgive me."
"What did you do that was so wrong?" Xavier hesitated to ask.
"I deceived her," Nicholas replied and told his story.
Throughout this story, Xavier thought back - his thoughts at Netherfield. Caroline, where are you now? Do you miss me, yet? For I wish, I desperately wish you loved me too.
Chapter Twelve
Dear sir, as I look behind me
I wonder will you be there
Your magnificent blue eyes, in my mind's eye I see
These emotions do seem to pop out of the air.
Dear sir, as I look behind me
I will always know that you see
That my love right now for you will always be.
Caroline Bingley sat at her desk and sighed. She had just returned from the Bennets, and just as she expected, she received a headache. She dealt with Mrs. Bennet saying "Oh, my nerves!" numerous times and "that infuriating Vassar man!" When she said that Caroline sat up in her seat in shock. She had looked up at Elizabeth in alarm. Why she looked up to Elizabeth, she never knew. But, she felt as if her world were splitting into two. Surely, she had thought then, it could not be Andy. Not Andy... Not Andy...
"Why could it not be me, Caroline," he turned towards her.
"After all, you have shown me no love, no sign of trusting me. Why should I not turn my affections to another?"
"Andy," she looked at him, her eyes sad. "You cannot tell me that..."
"Do you trust me so little, Caroline?" He said reproachfully. "Tell me, why shouldn't I show my affections to another?"
"Because Andy," she spoke to blank space, and then shook her head in amazement. It was a dream. But nevertheless, she whispered, "I love you."
A knock on the door made Caroline aware that someone was there.
"Caroline, are you coming down?" She heard Jane ask.
"In just a minute," Caroline hurriedly put the letter she wrote a Bingley seal on it. She sighed as she remembered the letter and went out of the door.
Dear Andy,I know you insist on calling you Xavier, but I am sorry to be so stubborn, but I love calling you Andy. And since I am the one writing this letter, I win this match. I assume you have went south of England to your family. I hope my assumption is correct. I must admit Andy that-I miss you. Not just for your companionship or friendship, but for something I cannot define or tell you until you return to me.
I hope you are well, Andy. Not for your sake, but mine as well. I have grown extremely selfish with you Andy. I am finding I cannot bear without your smiles, your laughter. For goodness sake, Andy- you make me want to be a better woman. I hope this finds you well. God Bless You.
Caroline
As Mr. Xavier Vassar dropped the letter on his desk, he dropped the letter in happy tears. Although, she couldn't say it-She loved him. He now knew what he must do.
"Quick, man!" he yelled to his manservant. "Fetch me my horse!"
Chapter Thirteen
"XAVIER!" he heard a man behind him shout as he was riding his horse. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
Andy came to an abrupt stop and turned around. "Pardon? What am I doing? Now, really Nicholas is that really any of your business?"
Nicholas jumped down from his horse and snapped, "You are going to see HER aren't you?"
Andy jumped down from his horse to meet his brother's eyes. "Who are you implying, brother?"
"That selfish witch, Caroline Bingl-" he snapped before his brother punched him right in the face.
"You haven't learned anything, have you, Nicholas?" Andy yelled at him as he pulled at Nicholas' shirt and then pushed him down to the ground. "You say you know what love is, but you obviously don't. Love is looking past their bad traits and helping them change for the better." He paused. "I-I don't always agree with you Nicholas, but I am never ashamed of being your brother or tell you what to do."
Nicholas looked at him with desperate eyes. "You are too good for her Xavier. Really. Don't make a fool out of yourself."
Xavier sighed and let air gush out as he said thoughtfully. "Nicholas, I have told her repeatedly to call me Xavier, because I wanted to hear that name from her. She calls me Andy."
"So?" Nicholas raised his eyebrows, puzzled.
Andy closed his eyes and met his brother's. "I've finally figured it out, little brother. It is not the matter of whether I am too good for her or not; which I am not. But it's whether she loves me. C-Caroline... No, I cannot even assume it. But, I must ride to Netherfield to find out the truth. Don't stop me, Nicholas." Andy got back on his horse.
"Xavier," Nicholas gritted through his teeth. "Damn you, don't make a fool out of yourself. If you go, I will shoot you."
"Why, Nick?" Xavier turned his head.
"Because she doesn't deserve a man like you," Nick barked.
"No, you've got it wrong, Nicholas. I don't deserve a woman like her. Because Nicholas I love her. No, more than that. I desire her, need her, want her to be my companion through my life. I want Caroline to be my wife. I will leave." Andy turned the horse to leave and started out.
The next sound that the readers could hear was a shot and a body hitting the ground.
Chapter Fourteen
Through sleepless nights I dream
All about you, it would seem
How does one know when their love is passionate?
How do I know this love will not go as fast as it was sent?
This must be an illness in which I am quickly turning sick
For as I look into your eyes, I know I have become a romantic.
Xavier Vassar fell from his horse silently, as his younger brother dropped his gun in stunned silence. Opening the door to his home, Victor Vassar observed his two sons. He looked at the younger of the two with sadness in his face.
"Why?..." his voice croaked to his son. Then he stopped himself from crying, and took control of himself. He would not give his son the privilege of seeing him cry. "Nicholas," he commanded.
"Y-Yes, father?" he asked like a little boy in wonder.
"S-Send for her," Mr. Vassar managed to croak out. "Send for her now."
"She isn't a piece of luggage," Nicholas said wryly. "She won't come. Traveling is not good enough for the likes of her."
Victor Vassar sighed and closed his eyes. "Nevertheless, I-I have a feeling she will come."
Caroline Bingley turned to her brother as he sat down in his study. "Charles," she said softly. "I must go. You do see that, don't you?"
Mr. Bingley sighed as he looked upon his sister. "Do you think he will survive? I could not stand for you to witness his death."
Caroline played with her hands as she let her brother's words sink in. Do you think he will survive? She sighed. "I know not, brother. But, don't you think I owe it to him to see? I would travel there whether or not you grant me your permission. He is my friend, after all. Nevertheless..."
"Are you traveling to him as a friend or something more, Caroline?" her brother inquired. "Do you have your mind made up?"
"As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted," Caroline cleared her throat and grinned at him. "Nevertheless, how good of friend he has been to me, I cannot see him for that reason."
"You-you cruel, cruel creature!" her brother lashed out at her. "You will not go?!"
"I will go, Charles!" Caroline exclaimed. "I will go because he loves me and I need him. I need him because I love him."
Charles let a long pause slip by as Caroline has stated her seven significant words. "Just promise me," he grinned. "When you come back, he will be well and you will be his wife."
"B-But," Caroline hesitated. "Are you sure he loves me still?"
"As a man, I can answer quite frankly and honestly-he always will."
She looked at him cautiously. "How can you be so sure?"
Charles sighed heavily, "You women think that a man's feelings are so inconstant. That we never think about you when you are away, how we need to have you in our lives." He paused before saying the next part. "I-I thought about Jane constantly when we left Netherfield before we married. The only thing that kept me from going to her was the thought she didn't love me. Andy has more courage than I, Caroline. He was always willing to pursue that hope that one day you could love him, even though you gave him no indication that you ever could. Don't you think Caroline, you are doubting yourself?"
"W-What do you mean?" she said, then stopped knowing his meaning. "Charles, sometimes I feel like I shouldn't love him, because I'm not good enough for him-but then, I realized the way I have been acting in his absence. I don't need to be cold; to hide from other people- I need to be me."
Charles grinned at her and recalled to himself, "Darcy once commented to me that Xavier makes you a better person." He raised his eyebrows. "But, I think Caroline, you just needed to learn to be yourself. It was difficult for you to do, but you are such a good person now. I am proud to be your brother."
Caroline wiped a tear that slid of her cheek and hugged her brother, "Thank you, Charles."
They both stood hugging each other, tears running down each of their cheeks, when Charles finally said, "Isn't it about time you left?"
Caroline grinned, "Yes, it is. Hope for the best."
"I will."
"And Charles," Caroline turned back and hesitated, "I love you."
Chapter Fifteen
Look towards me for patience and guidance
Sympathy and pity come easily to one
Not as easily as one's pride in them
Look towards me for love and compassion
And I will always turn to you.
"Please enter, Miss Bingley," Nicholas Vassar said as his servant lead Miss Bingley to his study. "Please sit down."
Caroline raised her eyebrows and sat down. "May I ask why I was sent here? I would have thought in your brother's best interest you would have sent me to him."
"I am thinking in my brother's best interest," Nicholas looked down at her, not hiding his absolute hatred for her. "You are the worst thing that has happened to him. I tried to warn him, but did he listen to me?"
Caroline sat silently for a moment, wondering how to respond to this stupid man. "Sir, may I ask when did you start caring about your brother's best interest? As of my knowledge, you only care for your own."
"People grow," he said sternly looking at her.
She confronted him with distaste, "And you are not one of them. What kind of brother are you, sir? Shooting your brother because you do not approve of his choice of a wife. Not a gentleman, I can tell you that." She shook her head at him. "You kindled your jealousy for him like a wood kindling a fire. He did not deserve it. Nicholas, be honest with yourself for once. For his sake, not mine. You hate me and secretly hate him because you are not him."
"How dare you say this to me woman!" he exclaimed at her. "I will do what Xavier should have done long ago." He raised his fist at her.
"If you lay a hand on me I will have you tried and hanged for beating on a woman and attempting manslaughter," Caroline replied calmly. "Do you want to be known of a man of these means? Why are you taking such desperate measures, Nicholas? Why do you hate me so?"
"What do you want from me, woman?!" he roared at her furiously.
"I want to see Andy," she said. "Believe me, I did not come out all this way to confront you, sir. I wish I could be fond of you. I have tried for Andy's sake, but I cannot." She laughed at him sadly. "He told me you called me the ice queen, the wicked witch, and told me that you thought I was determined to hate everyone. Now, why would I want anything from you except Andy? Andy is all I want."
He looked at the woman in front of him and looked into her determined green eyes. As he did he saw love in them, faithfulness, and pride. He sighed for he knew that his brother had instilled those qualities in her. Yet, as he looked deeper, he knew she had discovered those qualities herself.
He cleared his throat and asked in a lower tone, "Do you love him, Miss Bingley?"
Before he saw her head nod and her lips move, Nicholas knew what she was going to say.
"I do, sir," she proclaimed softly. "Don't you see, sir? All the women you must have had, you must have fell in love with one of them."
"H-How do you know about my women?" He looked at her suddenly scared.
Her brow furrowed at the tone of his question. "Your brother, of course. He told me in great confidence."
"I see," he said slowly. He looked down and then looked up at her slowly. "I must ask you one question before you see him though. Why do you call him Andy?"
"Sir," she said haltingly. "You have your secrets as I have mine. Please lead me to him, sir."
"A-As you wish, Mrs. Vassar," he murmured under his breath.
"W-What was that sir?" she looked at him stunned, unable to realize what he said.
"I mean, right this way, Miss Bingley."
Conclusion
As true as the sky is blue
I only have eyes for you
Listen to me when I say
I love you more each day
No matter how many obstacles we have to pass
I promise you my love will always last
He woke up to meet her eyes, those beautiful emerald eyes. Eyes that were filled with desperation and worry, eyes that he wanted to fill with laughter forever. "Caroline?" he said hoarsely. "You are here?"
"Andy!" she took his hand into both of hers as she finally smiled in relief. "You are awake! Finally!"
He raised his eyes in laughter her as she cried in joy and hugged him. "Man, if I knew I was going to get this kind of reception maybe I should ask Nick to shoot me more often."
She peered at him in concern, "Andy, are you okay? Am I hurting you?" She backed away from him, not wanting to hurt him.
He took her hand in his not wanting to let it go, "Yes, I am."
"Do you need anything, should I go get someone?" she asked him uncertainly.
"Caroline, can you please sit down for a moment?"
She sat down and a long pause developed between them.
"A-Andy?" she hesitated. "I missed you."
"I know."
"Andy," she whispered. "I love you. Marry me?"
"Caroline..." He grinned and looked up her lovingly. "We are already engaged."
"I forgot," she looked down and fiddled with her hands. "Andy, ask me again, would you? Please? I told you the first time because I wanted to please you. Ask me again this time, because I want to say yes because I love you."
"Caroline," he took her hand and groaned. "Awww..., I can't bend down on one knee!"
She rolled her eyes. "Oh, this is real romantic."
"Oh, but my dear," he grinned at her. "Who ever said we were?"
He cleared his throat and tried again, "Oh my dearest Caroline, marry me because owwww! This aching pain! Help me Caroline, this hurts."
She stood up and said with concern, "Andy are you laying on those pillows properly? Let me go get someone for you." She walked toward the door and opened it. She looked back at him and winked. "No matter how you put it Andy, I'll always say yes." She blew a kiss and walked out of the door. "You know, you really romantic." And with that Andy owwed and laughed at the same time.
After Andy was attended to and was helped out by his doctor while his lovely fiancée watched him with love in her eyes. She turned to him and grinned. "I hope you can say "I do" with ow ow in the declaration."
"I will try my best, Miss Bingley."
"By the way, Mr. Vassar," she grinned at him. "Did you know that I love you?"
"Do you know that I always will?" he said as he kissed her hand.
"Now, Mr. Vassar," she smiled at him. "I think you are becoming a romantic."
Epilogue:
Mr. Xavier Andrew Vassar and Miss Caroline Bingley soon married after he recovered from his accident. By, the way, Caroline always called him Andy. Although, it took some time for Andy to forgive Nicholas he eventually did, at the insistence of his dear and lovely wife. Nicholas's true love never forgave him for his fault and had his child which he was never allowed to see. Andy and Caroline moved near Derbyshire to be near her brother and Andy's old friend because for a "certain reason" (Gee, what could it be?) the Bingleys could not stay at Netherfield too long. The Bingleys had three children which were in the disposition of their wonderful and amiable parents. The Vassars had twins, one boy and one girl. And the Vassars good friends the Darcys had three children, one boy and two girls. The Vassar and Bingley children got along quite amiably, and they were perfect angels together. I wish I could say the same for the Darcy and Vassar children, however that's another story...