Beginning, Section II, Next Section
Part 15
When Caroline had finished taking care of Julia and James, she walked over to where Richard had sat down. He rose slowly and looked at his children a last time. "How they have grown since I first held them. I was holding Julia and I thought 'is this all?'"
"How tough you sound! That may be what you are telling everybody else, but I was there and I saw very clearly what you thought. Since I am your loving wife, I shall not spread the news, however, and nobody shall know how affected you really were," Caroline smiled.
Richard was too distracted by the feel of her hands on his back to contradict her. She had somehow managed to get her hands under his shirt and coat. "Yes," he said illogically.
"Tell me what you said to Annabella," she coaxed.
He frowned. "It was something like this, or maybe worse. Listen to me, you malicious little cabbage-head, how dare you call my children two little monsters? Someone like you would give birth to a monster, but not Caroline and I. I sincerely pity any children you might have, with the duke or whoever your immoral self may sleep with. I hope you realise that had you been a man, I would have knocked you down to the ground? And had I been Caroline, I would have scratched your face? Furthermore, how dare you address me as Lord Matlock after making it so abundantly clear that you did not want anything to do with Colonel Fitzwilliam? Are you so dim-witted that you do not see that I am still the same person? I do not want anything to do with people who insult me in such a way. You are not worth my attention. You are not worth anybody's attention. And I am sick and tired of those sly, underhand digs you are giving Caroline. Either you say what you want to say outright, or you do not say anything. Oh, and do not look so innocent, you know very well what I mean. You may think you are better than everyone, because you are a duchess, but I find you an ugly, despicable thing, so save yourself the trouble next time and stop making passes and winking at me. Your title does not improve your understanding, your looks, or your character, and neither does wearing such a distasteful gown which threatens to slide off with every insincere curtsey. I despise all those people who think money and a title are all that matters. Happiness, something you will never know, does not depend on it. You are such a lowly creature that you would be better off with the other vermin rather than with humans."
"Oh Richard! I would have liked to see her face."
"Ugh, that face? You would not! Now, let us hope that was the end of it and that the duke will not challenge me to a duel or anything."
"He is not stupid enough to do so," she said confidently. "Will you bathe with James on Saturday?" Caroline's fingers slowly traveled from his back to his sides. "It is an ordeal without you."
"Yes," he said again, and blinked. "Did you say anything?"
"Too late," she smiled. "You said yes." Her hands moved to his back again.
Richard looked into the cot and saw James looking at them curiously. "We are in front of the cot, Caroline," he said warningly.
"He will not understand," she said carelessly, but nevertheless she freed her hands and turned. "Do you want to bathe with your father, James? He has offered to bathe with you."
Richard began working on the buttons of her gown. "This reminds me of our wedding night," he remarked, but back then his hands had been rather unsteady when Caroline had asked him to undo the buttons on her gown because she had not brought a maid.
"Your unbuttoning skills have improved tremendously. It took you far longer then."
"Getting changed took you far longer then, too," he smiled. "I think it was at least fifteen minutes before you reappeared in your nightgown after I had unbuttoned you."
"I took you by surprise nevertheless," Caroline giggled.
"Hmm, can you blame me? What with you in your nightgown before my eyes, not looking nervous at all, when according to convention you should have been far more nervous than I?"
"Blast convention!" Caroline looked at him sadly. "The ability to act according to convention has not been granted to us, although we keep trying with such diligence. And I was nervous, but I had to laugh too, because you looked so adorably nervous."
Richard kissed her. "That was because I had been bothering myself with such nonsensical questions as what I would do when you came back and how we would start, but that was wholly unnecessary, of course," he said with twinkling eyes. "I dare say we are bolder now. Would you not agree?"
Caroline found his twinkles so irresistible that she could only give him a non-verbal response.
Meanwhile, still at the ball, Colonel Marsden was engaged in conversation with a gentleman. "I saw you were talking to Fitzwilliam," said the gentleman. "Has he invited you to his card party tomorrow? I recall you were always a part of our little group before you went to India."
"No, he did not."
"You must come anyway, around eight. Fitzwilliam probably forgot to ask you, and you know he never minds if an extra person comes."
"I do not know. He did not say anything," Colonel Marsden said hesitantly. "What about the numbers?"
The gentleman waved this off. "One person sitting out is not bad, neither is two, and if there are three, Fitzwilliam the family man will call upon his wife to make up the numbers. Can you imagine our shock when Lennox was ill one night and Fitzwilliam said he would ask his wife -- remember how he always used to say that women would ruin the atmosphere -- to make up a fourth."
"It was not a pleasure? She cannot play?"
"Oh, she can play, but I suspect that was only because she was looking into my cards. You see, she was rather voluminous at the time, and she had to sit a little away from the table, with an excellent view of my cards. She could only place her cards at the edge of the table and then I had to push them on. And her presence put a bit of a limit on our conversation, for we were not able to discuss women. Do come, or we might have her join us again."
Marsden thought that it could cut both ways, but he did not say so, because whether Lady Matlock played or not did not bother him. He told the gentleman he would come, and so it was settled. Caroline would have another person to scrutinise for Lady Catherine.
Part 16
His card friends trickled in, and Richard was supervising the placing of the card tables with a child on his arm. It was as if the men had waited for each other, because they all arrived at the same time, so he could greet them all at once.
"Is that one of your children, Fitzwilliam?" asked the gentleman Colonel Marsden had been speaking with the day before.
"No, Baldwin. He is not," Richard said.
Baldwin looked confused.
"Of course he is, you fool. Why else would I be carrying him around? This is James. Is he not a fine little boy? Does he not bear a remarkable resemblance to somebody you know?"
The gentlemen all looked at him politely and attempted to give a satisfying answer to this question.
"He is indeed a fine little boy," said Baldwin, who thought he could not err greatly by repeating the proud father's own words.
"He bears a remarkable resemblance to you," Lennox ventured, playing safe as well.
"I believe he has your eyes," said Thompson, who was seated close enough to notice such details.
"I am sure he will eventually grow up to be exactly like you, Fitzwilliam," Bates assured him.
"God forbid," Darcy murmured humourously. He had already had to give his opinion on the matter at least ten times. If his cousin had been particularly insufferable, he would say that the twins looked like Caroline, and vice versa, for he really could not see it.
Neither could Marsden, and he kept silent. He was more busy wondering if Fitzwilliam had not noticed that James had tugged his cravat loose, and how James had accomplished that. The little boy was now waving it about like some well-earned prize. If Fitzwilliam had noticed, he was ignoring the fact because he was probably too proud of the accomplishment, Marsden thought wryly. Although why someone would take pride in looking rather disheveled was beyond him.
The conversation quickly turned to horses, carriages and other manly subjects, but everyone fell silent when Caroline sailed in. They got up and bowed, but her Ladyship had only come to retrieve her son, who had mysteriously disappeared from the nursery while she was nursing Julia. Caroline looked a little strangely at Richard, took James, and departed. After a minute or so she and James reappeared and she handed him his cravat, which she had not noticed James had been clutching until he tried to eat it. "So that was why I thought you looked a little odd," she commented.
"Thank you," he said, but then he exclaimed, "it is wet!" eyeing the cravat with disdain.
"I pulled it out of James' mouth. He was hungry," she said, and to illustrate this James started to cry. She quickly sailed out of the room again with a rustling of her gown, because several of the men began to look uneasy at his crying.
As soon as she had left, the men resumed their conversations, as if they had been too scared to do so when Caroline was present. Marsden was only a little surprised to see that Lady Matlock was so awe-inspiring. He himself was not affected by tall, elegant brunettes, but he could understand that the combination of her appearance and her tongue could be daunting to some. He was not afraid of her, not having any intention of harming her loved ones. They talked on for a while and Baldwin had already noted they were with seven. "She will have to join us," he whispered to Marsden.
"What have you against the woman?" he whispered back.
"She is a woman."
Baldwin, Bates and Lennox were quick to secure themselves a place at Richard's table when they were ready to start playing, so Darcy, Marsden and Thompson were left to play with Caroline. She was planning to keep the score, much to Thompson's great surprise. "Shall I keep the score, Lady Matlock?"
"Why, Mr. Thompson, do you think I cannot count?" Caroline replied, and she observed Thompson looking rather flustered. Years ago she had frequently assisted her father in his calculations, so she could do a great deal more with numbers than merely adding them up, and she always helped Richard, for if they joined forces they could work twice as fast, they had discovered. She studied Thompson. It had obviously never entered his mind that she was more than a decoration. Was Anne simply a decorative woman? She did not know, so she realised she could not judge their compatibility. She would just have to form a general opinion on them. It was rather amusing to have a secret mission. Darcy was taken, so she turned her attention to Colonel Marsden. He seemed to think it was quite normal that she joined them and kept the score, or perhaps he did not care. She was tempted to think that he would have the best chances of not being shaken by Lady Catherine, of all the men present.
Part 17
All the men were talking during the game, and Caroline mostly listened. She noticed that they hardly paid any attention to the game, judging by the sometimes stupid cards they played. It was as if they only used the game as a pretense, because all they did was gossip. She was winning, but the lack of competition lessened her triumph considerably. She decided to call them to order. "Gentlemen, you are worse than a bunch of middle-aged women drinking tea. Do you think you could actually think before playing a card rather than taking a random card of the right colour? Or the wrong colour even, Mr. Darcy?"
Her three companions at the table looked astonished.
"I am not exaggerating," Caroline continued. "You are all playing uncommonly stupid."
"We do not want you to lose," Darcy frowned because of his usual doubt as to how to address Caroline. Everyone of his acquaintance always referred to her as Caroline, but he found that a bit too familiar, and yet Lady Matlock was so awfully formal. Miss Bingley and Mrs. Fitzwilliam had rolled off his tongue much easier. He decided to go with Caroline. She was almost a relative now, anyway. "Caroline."
"Pff! False gallantry. But very well, I do not care. I shall play against Richard and the other winner of the other table --"
"How do you know he will win?" Thompson asked.
"Because he is my husband. And no, before you ask, we did not mark the cards and we are not cheating."
"I have frequently known him to play uncommonly stupid," Colonel Marsden remarked. "I would not put any money on it if I were you, Lady Matlock."
"Nooo! Colonel Marsden, are you joking? Surely you are!" Caroline exclaimed.
"Indeed I am not. Give him a bottle of whiskey..."
"Oh!" Caroline gasped. "And then what?"
"And then it will loosen his tongue so much that he cannot distinguish between spades and clubs anymore."
"Oh! I do not believe you at all, Colonel."
"You do not?" he asked, recalling many drink-induced confidences. "It might have been brandy."
"Good," said the relieved Caroline. "I am not afraid of the effects of brandy, because I have witnessed that already, and he still managed to beat me. I won this round again. Is it not time you gentlemen made some more effort?"
"I am making a continuous effort," Thompson protested. "But my cards were bad. Oh, did you hear the good news I heard at the club last week? About Lewis?"
"No," said the interested Darcy. "Did he get engaged to that blonde girl yet?"
"No, he bought a new horse. Which blonde girl?"
"I do not know that," Darcy confessed. "I only heard it from Bates there," he gestured towards the other table as he played a card.
"Spades!" Caroline almost yelled at him. "Not clubs."
"Sorry," he mumbled, and hastily changed the card. "What kind of horse?"
A footman entered. "The Duke of _____ is here to see you, my Lord."
Richard excused himself to his companions and rose. He did not look very pleased with this interruption, and he glanced at Caroline, but she was not looking. He had expected her to make some kind of comment at least, or worse, that she would go with him. He had a fairly good idea what or who the duke had come to see him about. When he was almost at the door, she called after him.
"Richard, if you must, do try not to get any blood on your clothing, and preferably not on the furniture either."
He grinned at her and left the room, leaving everybody except Caroline very puzzled.
Part 18
"Blood?" Darcy asked.
"Whose blood?" asked one of the men at the other table. "Does he need our assistance?"
"Really!" Caroline exclaimed. "I doubt that the duke brought an army with him. I told Richard the Duke was not stupid enough to challenge him to a duel, so I cannot imagine what brings him here. He cannot seriously be thinking of engaging Richard into a fight? I should think that Richard would be able to push him over with his little finger."
"Perhaps he has come to settle whatever difficulties Fitzwilliam has with him in a civilised manner," Lennox volunteered.
"It was with the Duchess, and it was not civilised to begin with," Caroline said.
"The Duchess?" Thompson voiced everyone's thoughts. "What...happened?"
"She called our children little monsters," Caroline said indignantly.
The men groaned collectively. Was that all? Grown men were fighting because a woman had called somebody else's children little monsters? Had she not spoken the truth?
Caroline felt frustrated. They did not understand how insulting it had been. "It was not only about the children. There was more. You only saw James, but Julia looks just as beautiful. Tell me, was James a little monster?"
"Nobody would ever admit it even if they thought it. We are all much too afraid of a bloodthirsty Fitzwilliam," Marsden commented dryly.
"I wish people would not underestimate me so," Caroline said sharply. "If you had told me my children were little monsters, I would not have sat idly by until Richard got to you."
"I apologise, Lady Matlock. Nobody who heard you speak to Lady Geraldine would ever underestimate you."
Caroline tapped her fingers on the table and wondered what was happening to Richard.
"You insulted my wife, Lord Matlock," the Duke of _______ said accusingly when Richard stepped into the library. "I seek retribution." He was a rather small insignificant man, and Richard was not impressed.
"Seek a mistress," Richard answered calmly.
The Duke gasped and stepped closer. "How dare you! You insulted my wife," he said again. "How dare you change the subject? Do you not take me seriously? My honour forbids me to leave here without recompensation."
"Quite right. Your honour, not your sense. She merits no defending."
"What are you saying?"
"You know what she is. I told you to seek a mistress, like she has lovers, undoubtedly. She is not worth your effort. I cannot imagine why you ever married the twit."
The Duke inhaled deeply and lashed out at Richard, who had not expected the attack. He soon recovered himself and a well-aimed blow made the Duke stagger backwards. "Out of practise," Richard mumbled, nursing his sore hand and moving his sore jaw.
"You shall not redress the wrongs against my wife, my Lord?" the Duke asked, one hand on his eye.
Richard saw with satisfaction that the Duke would have a black eye tomorrow. "Most certainly not, your Grace."
"I challenge you to a duel," the other man said, thrusting his chest forward.
"Challenge all you wish, I shall not accept."
This was unbelievable to the Duke. "You shall not accept?" he stammered.
"I shall not accept. Besides not seeing what a duel would accomplish, apart from making your wife a widow when the world would be much better served with you becoming a widower, I shall not take the chance of having your bullet hit me by accident. I have a wife and two children whom I love very much, and I should hate to leave them behind."
"How dare you suggest that I could only hit you by accident? And you do not want to defend your honour?"
"I told you," Richard said patiently. "I would like to stay in one piece, the way my wife likes me, without shedding any blood."
"But your honour!"
"Oh, stop being such a fool! I do not want to hear that word again. I am in the middle of a card game and I have had enough of this nonsense. I shall have you unceremoniously removed if you do not depart this instant. Please refrain from bothering us in the future. And do not forget to tell that twit that if she ever insults us again, I shall give her a black eye as well." He rang the bell for a servant who appeared very soon. Perhaps he had been eavesdropping. "Please show His Grace out. He was just leaving."
"I shall not move," the Duke said stubbornly.
"Bloody hell," Richard muttered. He had no choice but to remove the fool from the premises himself. Ignoring the curious looks from the servants, he straightened his clothing in front of the hall mirror and returned to the drawing room.
Part 19
Richard entered the room with a forced grin and beckoned Caroline over to a corner. "What happened?" she whispered, and took his right hand to examine it, because she had seen he rubbed it.
He told her what had passed. "Do not worry. It will not happen again," he promised. "It was not like me. It was an incredibly stupid thing to do."
"We have both been awfully sensitive lately," Caroline remarked.
"And now it is time to become sensible?" Richard smiled.
"That might be a good idea."
"Why should we care what they say?"
"And why should we reply?" Caroline kissed his hand and let it go. "Your hand does not seem to be hurt very much, because you did not flinch once when I squeezed it."
"No, it is all right now. Shall we resume?" he asked, and when she nodded he called out to the others. "The game may continue. I apologise for the disturbance."
They sat down again to finish the first game. Richard did not satisfy his friends' curiosity with regard to his visitor, and when he did not say anything voluntarily, they did not ask anything either. After the first game Caroline and Marsden traded places with Lennox and Bates.
"No, do not sit on my left side," Richard said, and gently pushed her off the chair. "Sit on my right so you can keep the score." He had no trouble holding a pen with his right hand, but his handwriting had become a little unintelligible.
They began to play, and Caroline suddenly got a great idea. She could organise card parties like this too, and instead of only Richard to make up the numbers, she could have him ask one of his friends. She shifted in her chair excitedly while she worked out this idea. It could be her, Anne of course, and then a few more women so as to make it less obvious. Catherine, Elizabeth, Jane and Louisa? They were all married women. She would have to exclude Georgiana, but she was sure that Georgiana would understand if she explained.
"How are you faring? Have you made any progress?" Richard asked suddenly.
Caroline stared at him. How could he possibly know? It was as if he had been reading her mind.
He laughed at her expression. "So my guess was right." It had been a very random guess, after having seen that little smile on her face.
"Yes, you found me out, I think. I am amazed."
"Ha! I am not always a fool, as you know."
"I know that, but I am nevertheless amazed," Caroline said. "Does that mean you will not have any objections to making up a seventh at my card party next Wednesday?" She would need a few days to make sure the women would come, and instruct them in the game, if necessary. Anne would certainly need instructions.
"A seventh, hmm?" Richard asked. He began to see where she was heading, and he tried not show any surprise at the mention of a card party. He wondered who the other six were, and he wondered if they knew themselves. "With six ladies?"
"Yes, but I need an eighth person as well. Mr. Baldwin," Caroline said with her most engaging smile. "Are you free on Wednesday?"
Baldwin? Richard thought. Caroline dear, even you could not get Baldwin to play with six ladies, but he said nothing.
"Uhh no, Lady Matlock. I have another engagement that day," Baldwin stammered.
"That is a pity! Colonel Marsden, are you free?" That was the question she had wanted to ask all along.
"Yes, I am."
"Will you come?" she asked him. "To help us out. Richard will be there too, so you will not be the only man."
"It will be my pleasure," he said politely. He did not understand anything of what passed between the couple across the table, but he was far from suspecting their thoughts.
Caroline knew he could not mean it, but she thanked him nevertheless. "Thank you. We are very grateful to you."
Richard raised his eyebrows and pretended to look at his cards. He was certain that this whole card party had been invented a minute ago. It would be interesting to see how Caroline would arrange it all. After all, the only people she was sure of were Marsden and himself. Somehow he had a feeling that it would be a family gathering. Surely she cannot mean to invite Aunt Catherine as well?
Part 20
Caroline had woken at the time James and Julia would usually wake her with their cries, but to her great surprise she had not heard anything. Instead of sleeping on, she climbed out of bed and went to check if everything was all right. After she had stoked up the fire, she entered the nursery and she noticed they were far from being quiet. Unintelligible monosyllabic noises were coming from the cot as if they were talking to each other. She saw they were apparently enjoying themselves very much and she watched for a while.
She took one baby out to change its nappy, but the other looked so unhappy that she had to keep them close to each other while she changed them. Usually her nurse would do this, but it was Saturday and she was off again. Caroline talked to them while she worked, and they listened attentively. Sometimes when she asked something they would babble, Julia always a little more than James. She was almost sure they could understand and answer her. They certainly knew their names now. "Ssshh, be quiet now," she whispered, as she tried to gather them up at the same time. That was increasingly difficult now they had grown so much, and she could only do it if they were sitting upright. "We are going to my bed. Do not wake your Papa."
That was a word James recognised, and he chuckled as if he was certainly going to try to do just that and if that would be the funniest thing in the world. He pulled his sister's nose.
"James!" Caroline said. "No. Not Julia."
James suddenly looked very uncomprehending and innocent, and he laughed sweetly.
"You little Fitzwilliam! Do not try that look on me," Caroline said incredulously, not knowing if she had imagined the look.
Caroline settled herself comfortably in her bed, and arranged the babies in a comfortable position. Richard was still sleeping, and she wondered what time his friends had left last night. Caroline had left them after the card game, because she knew at what hour she would be woken and how much sleep she would be able to get. She put them down on the bed with a few toys after they were fed and Richard slowly stirred when they made some noise. "Do you want Papa?" she asked.
The twins clapped their hands and grinned in delight at the sound they made with their hands. They loved making noise.
"Very good! I shall set you loose on him. Wake him!" Caroline pulled away enough of the covers to make Richard visible and she set James down next to him. Julia stretched out her arms. She wanted to be moved as well. Caroline placed her next to James, and she watched them move their little fingers over his face, pulling, patting, and babbling.
"Boo," said Richard, and he opened his eyes. His children giggled because they always did when they could extract a sound from something. "Caroline, do I really look that horrendous in the morning? They are laughing at me."
"I do not know. They are blocking my view," she said, kicking him under the covers for having been awake much longer already.
"Daa," Julia cried when Richard sat up.
"Baa," said James and he waved his arms.
"No, it is not time for your bath yet, James," Richard said as he picked up Julia.
"Do you really think he meant bath?" Caroline asked.
"No, but it is much nicer to pretend that we are holding a real conversation."
"It is quite nice to be sitting here like this," she mused as she played with James. "Now that they can do a little more."
Richard grinned. "You will be wishing for the time when they could not do anything, when they start walking and talking. I had a dream about the whole family jumping into our bed to wake us every morning."
"How big was this family?" Caroline was rather suspicious at his use of the word whole.
"About six. I do not think any more children would fit into this bed."
"Six? Oh help!"
"Do you need my help?" he said with a grin.
"I was talking to no one in particular," she said gravely. "The sort of help you offered to reconcile me to one and two was rather blunt. You threw me over your shoulder like a -- what do people throw over their shoulders normally? -- a scarf?"
"Scarves do not protest. Although you were hanging as elegantly as a scarf would have hung," he smiled sweetly.
"It was the look! Oh no! He is so young, and he has already got it," Caroline exclaimed.
"What are you talking about? You are not talking about me, are you?"
"Like father, like son. That 'if I smile sweetly and look innocent you will forgive me' look."
"What, James?" Richard asked. He looked proud. "He looks like me! Do you look like Mama, Julia?" he said to the baby on his lap. Julia looked up at the mention of her name and babbled away enthusiastically. Richard tickled her and she laughed. "And Julia looks like you, Caroline. Just as talkative and ticklish. Look!" he exclaimed. "She can almost stand if I support her." And the rest of the morning until bath time was spent trying out and admiring this new skill, and seeing if James could do it too.
Part 21
After bath time, which had been very agreeable to all parties, they met in the breakfast room. "Does he pass inspection, Caroline?" Richard asked, holding out James.
Caroline with Julia on her arm examined the appearance of James on Richard's arm. He looked fine, and his clothes looked as if they had been put on in the correct way. "Perfect. Do you want to try feeding him again or shall I call Betty?" Caroline asked.
"No, I can feed my own children," Richard answered. "After all, it only involves sticking a spoon into a mouth."
"Of a wriggly little person."
"I shall take James now. Perhaps that will work better," Richard said, and he sat down. "About that card party..."
"Yes?"
"This was not something you arranged before you asked me to come, I think?"
"No."
"I am curious," he said as slowly as he was raising the spoon to James' mouth. "Open, Jamie! I am curious how you are going to persuade your friends to attend. Jamie! look at Julia," he pointed across the table where Julia was being a good girl by opening her mouth. James followed his hand and waved at his sister.
"He knows how to eat. I suppose he is trying you out," Caroline said. She lifted Julia up and carried her to other side. "Give me that spoon." James opened his mouth and ate. "Good boy!" Richard's mouth was also open. Caroline took another spoonful and stuffed it into his mouth with a wink. She walked back and sat down again.
"What I was saying," Richard said. "Oh! He eats!"
"Of course he eats! After all, it only involves sticking a spoon into a mouth," she said teasingly.
"I bow to you. I hope I will get the chance to finish my sentence now. Do you think your friends will attend? What will you tell them? Who will they be?"
"They will be our sisters and cousins. I do not know if they will attend, but I shall try. I will not tell them anything, except Georgiana, and that is only so she does not feel left out."
"I am glad you are not killing this budding romance by inviting my aunt."
"Richard!" Caroline said in an exasperated voice. "There is no budding romance."
"Not yet no, but was it not your intention to save poor old Marsden from the claws of the army?"
"No! I want to save your cousin Anne from the claws of your aunt, and with whom she will end up with is not yet clear."
"Considering your experience with younger sons who have gone into the army, I would say Marsden has a distinct advantage over other pawns in this game," Richard said, and he finished feeding James the last spoonful. "Why is Georgiana not allowed to come?"
"She is not married."
"Quite. Only show him what you want him to choose, and do not give him any choice whatsoever. I cannot wait."
"Do you disapprove of it?" Caroline asked.
He laughed. "I am sorry if I am giving you the wrong impression. No, I do not disapprove of it. It is highly amusing."
Part 22
Caroline had gone to see Anne first, but amazing as it was, she had gone out shopping with Mrs. Jenkinson. Therefore she had decided to go to Louisa first. Arriving at her sister's house, she heard that Mrs. Hurst and Mrs. Bingley were out with Mrs. Darcy, but that their husbands were in the billiard room. She was greeted with as much cheerfulness as their respective characters allowed them to greet a woman and two babies trespassing on their male domain.
"Is your husband tired again?" Bingley inquired.
"No, he had some business to attend to. You still have not visited him, Charles. He might think you are afraid of him if you keep postponing it."
"I would not blame Bingley for being afraid of him," Darcy said. "The rumour goes that he had something to do with the Duke of _____'s black eye."
Caroline groaned and thrust one child at her brother. "Here, hold Julia for me while I write your wives a note. Be quiet, my sweet." It was at first unclear to Bingley if she was talking to Julia or to him, but he understood when she gave Julia a kiss. She forced James on Darcy, much to his great discomfort, but he was too polite to hand him back. "Be nice to uncle Darcy, James. He may look a bit severe, but I am sure he does not mean it, dear. Perhaps he is not yet aware that his wife will appreciate this experience in the future." Darcy looked even more uncomfortable with Caroline speaking these words close to the infant he was forced to hold. She disappeared in search of pen and paper.
While Caroline was busy writing a note, the ladies returned and made for the billiard room, hearing that Caroline was there. An interesting sight awaited them. Bingley and Darcy were both leaning against the billiard table with a baby in their arms, and Hurst was watching on with a smug smile.
"What a lovely scene," Elizabeth cried, laughing at her husband's look.
"Take him," he said.
"I should be happy to."
When Caroline returned she found that her children had changed hands. "So much for my educational scheme," she remarked dryly. "Oh yes!" she said enthusiastically. "They can do something new! They can stand if you hold them. Put them on the billiard table and you shall see."
Elizabeth and Jane followed her instructions and supported the wobbly-legged twins. The men groaned. Their hide-out had been invaded by women and babies, and they did not even look as if they were going to retire to the drawing-room any time soon. Darcy and Hurst looked on in horror as James accidentally disrupted the game by kicking a ball.
"My nephew plays football!" Bingley, who had been sitting out this game and therefore was not too concerned about the position of the balls, cried in a delighted voice.
"Well, well, Hurst," came an amused voice from the entrance. "Do you always entertain your visitors in the billiard room? And why are my children playing a football match on the table? I know they are both green, but it would never enter my mind to mistake a billiard table for a playing field. Oh, my darlings, I missed you," Richard said as he advanced and scooped the twins up in an embrace. They cried out in delight. "I am sorry I only have two arms, Caroline."
"Well, Fitzwilliam," said Bingley. "I am glad to see you again, finally. I had always intended to visit you, but nothing ever came of it. I shall shake your hand to prove to Caroline that I am not afraid of you."
"Bingley, my boy," Richard said in a fatherly tone. "Why should you be afraid of me? Hurst is holding a billiard cue, and he looks far more dangerous. I think he is ready to use it if we do not all leave him to his game soon."
"Thomas, please put that thing away," Louisa said, and Mr. Hurst put it down on the table, but with a little smile, as Caroline noted with surprise.
Richard's face lit up in a smile. "What a great occasion for an intensive study of the species. All three of you are present. I can observe you closely for similarities and theorise about it, and when I have enough I shall publish it."
"Yes, my dear, I am sure the world would be vastly interested in reading about Bingleys," Caroline said.
"Bingley's what?" Bingley asked with a frown.
Richard ignored him. "Caroline, of course they will! I declare I should find it completely incomprehensible if they were not interested."
"Bingley's what?" Bingley cried. "Are you writing a book about me?"
"I do not mean to offend you, Bingley, but I am more interested in your sister," Richard said. "You understand that, do you not?"
"Yes," Bingley said, but he did not understand a thing.
"Have you already finished your business?" Caroline asked Richard. "How did you know I was here?"
Richard sat the twins down on the billiard table because they began to wriggle. "I happened to see Anne from afar, so I knew you could not be there, and since this was on my way home, I stopped by to ask Bingley why he was avoiding me, and perhaps see you here."
"Oh!" Bingley cried indignantly. "I was not avoiding you. I was merely...occupied."
Richard did not pay attention to him, because he had started to roll the billiard balls towards the twins and they were fascinated.
"Well," said Caroline, patting him on the back. "I shall go about my business then, and I shall see you later. Louisa," she said, turning to her sister. "Is there somewhere we ladies can talk?"
"Yes, we shall go to the drawing room," Louisa replied.
"I should like to know if any of you have any engagements on Wednesday, because I need you for a card party," Caroline burst forth as soon as they were seated.
"I do not," Louisa said.
"Neither do I," Jane added.
"I do not think I have anything either," Elizabeth thought out loud.
"Good!" Caroline smiled. "Will you all come? Can you play cards?"
The three all gave an affirmative answer. "Why do you need us?" Elizabeth asked.
"I wished to hold a card party of my own, because Richard always holds them," Caroline shrugged innocently. "He invites men, I invite women. I do not exactly need you, but I very much wish you would come."
Part 23
After visiting the Hursts' house, they both went to Richard's sister. Catherine had some good news for them. Robert was to have a little brother or sister in a few months. They talked about this for a while and then they moved on.
"Catherine," Caroline began. "You saw what was right for us, would you be able to see what is right for Anne?"
"Caroline is going to invite my friends one by one to have them judged by the family jury," Richard called. He was playing a game with his nephew and his brother-in-law, but he had heard it nevertheless.
"What do you mean?" Catherine exclaimed. "Is this for Anne?"
Caroline lowered her voice so her husband could not interrupt. "Lady Catherine allowed me to look for suitable husbands."
"For herself?" Catherine cried with a smile.
"No, for Anne."
"How did you accomplish that? I am amazed."
"I was not even serious," Caroline said. "But she agreed! And I invited a friend of Richard to a non-existent card party, for which I now need other women. Will you come on Wednesday?"
"Ha ha," Catherine laughed. "Yes, of course I will. I would not miss this for the world. Ha! Caroline as a matchmaker, how ironic considering the history of your marriage. When did you know you loved him? When he slid the ring on your finger, and you realised that all further resistance was futile so you might as well give in to it?"
"Who says I love him?" Caroline protested.
"Oh Caroline! I shall not take that question seriously. Everybody loves my brother, and you are completely wild about him. What do you propose to do at this card party?"
"Play cards."
"Nooooo! But who are coming?"
"You, me, Richard --"
"I thought you said other women?"
Caroline sighed. "But strange men would not come if he was not there. You, me, Richard, my sister Louisa, my brother's wife, your cousin's wife, and Anne, naturally. Only Anne does not know it yet."
"Who is the strange man?"
"There will be a different man every week, so I can observe them better. The first one is called Colonel Marsden."
Catherine looked surprised. "I know him! I went to school with his sister. He is nice enough, but...Anne?" She snorted. "We do not really know Anne, I suppose. Perhaps this party will give us the chance to learn more about Anne. I always know how things stand if the woman informs the man that she cannot imagine any women fighting over him, although I do not think Anne will say that. Perhaps you should invite Anne to live with you for a while. She might get into the spirit of saying such things."
The men had finished their game, and they joined the ladies. Richard overheard Catherine's last words. "Aunt Catherine suggested that I tell Caroline to invite Anne."
"To stay with us?" Caroline asked. "With your aunt? Oh no! She would comment on everything, and she would most certainly disapprove of -- oh!" She checked herself before she could reveal any of Richard's habits he might not want to make known.
"She would disapprove of everything," Philip said. "She has been here and she tried to reorganise this household completely after a visit of only five minutes. I would not recommend it. She very much disapproved of me playing Robin Hood with Robert."
The two men immediately commiserated about Lady Catherine's lack of appreciation for this game.
Part 24
Anne De Bourgh was home when Caroline called on her for the second time that day. She had not brought Richard, who had preferred to go home to play with the twins in his own billiard room, though she suspected that he did not want to come because he was afraid he would burst out laughing. Caroline did not mind. She did not know how much persuasion she was going to need and how hard she was going to be to Lady Catherine, but she knew that she could never be at her toughest with a baby on her lap. She was shown into Anne's parlour and Anne even rose to greet her. See? All hope is not lost, Caroline thought triumphantly.
After they had exchanged polite greetings, Caroline came straight to the point. She had to, before Lady Catherine or Mrs. Jenkinson would come in to spoil everything. "Come to us to play cards on Wednesday," she said, knowing that Anne would never have the courage to say no. "Will you?"
"I cannot play very well," Anne said in a half-whisper. "I only know one game."
"That is why I have come today, so you have ample time to master the game." Caroline tried to sound convincing. She had no idea if Anne would be one of those people who never seemed to learn. "I shall start out instructing you today, and every day you must visit me for a lesson."
"Why?" Anne asked. "Why would you teach me?"
Caroline was happy to see that Anne showed some mental activity. "Because it is fun, and because you would like it, and some of our relatives are coming too."
"Did Lady Catherine have anything to do with this?" Anne asked suspiciously. "This sounds an awful lot like that let-us-go-to-Bath-because-it-is-good-for-your-health scheme." She wanted to bite off her tongue for being so impolite to Lady Matlock, but it just slipped out. Nothing ever slipped out like that, but perhaps it did now because Caroline herself was rather impertinent at times. She would not mind this slip, Anne hoped.
"What is wrong with that scheme?"
"Bath is apparently full of unmarried men."
Caroline smiled when she thought of her sister-in-law's comment. "Is Lady Catherine searching for a husband?"
Anne gasped and raised her hands to her mouth. Her eyes were wide and she stared at Caroline in disbelief. She had never considered the idea of her mother remarrying and it was incredible to her that the thought could enter anyone's mind.
"I suppose she is not, then?" Caroline asked.
"No," Anne brought out with difficulty. "It is for me. My mother thinks I am getting too old."
"But you are twenty-seven."
"No, I am twenty-four."
"But Richard said you were twenty-five, and that was when I was twenty-five..."
Anne smiled. "He used to have another cousin called Anne who died some years ago, and he has always been mixing up our ages."
"How can anyone not keep his cousins apart?"
"If they are so much younger, and girls...boys are not likely to take much notice of their cousins, I think. Unless they are made guardians of one of them."
Caroline frowned. "Twenty-four is not old! I was not married yet when I was twenty-four!"
"My mother was married at fifteen. She seems to think all good men are taken by the time a girl reaches nineteen, and that my situation has been hopeless for the past five years. I have resigned myself to the fact."
Caroline snorted. "According to my husband, even twenty-four is too young to get married. He says only twenty-five-year old women can appreciate a good man."
Anne looked puzzled.
"I knew him, but I did not take any notice of him when I was twenty-four. When I was twenty-five, I married him," Caroline explained.
"Why?"
"Because my eyes were finally opened," Caroline said ruefully. "Your cousin thought it would be amusing to make fun of me while I was just recovering from this painful operation. And with success, I must add. But let us not stray too far from the purpose of my visit. Will you come to my card party? I swear I shall not invite Lady Catherine."
"We were going to leave for Bath on Tuesday," Anne said sadly.
"Lady Catherine is going to leave for Bath on Tuesday," Caroline corrected. "You have accepted Lady Matlock's invitation to spend an undefined period of time with her in London."
"I have?" Anne wondered if she had missed the invitation, or if this was a veiled invitation. She did not know if Caroline really meant it.
"Do not pronounce the question mark," Caroline advised Anne.
"I have."
"See? You will be coming to stay with us. When will you arrive?"
"I do not know. What if my mother does not approve?"
"I am sure she will. She would not want to offend her relatives. Ha!" Caroline said triumphantly. "I must leave you now, because I dare say my two little ones will be hungry by now. Where is Lady Catherine?"
"In her drawing room," Anne answered.
"I shall tell her I invited you, and then things will take care of themselves. I expect we shall see you for dinner this evening."
Caroline said good-bye, and she asked a servant to take her to Lady Catherine. The woman had already been informed of her presence, undoubtedly, because she did not really look surprised, as if she expected every visitor to call upon her as well.
"I have invited Anne to spend some time with us," Caroline said without hesitating. "From tonight onwards."
Lady Catherine did not answer straight away. "We are going to Bath, Lady Matlock."
"Perhaps, Lady Catherine, you would enjoy a stay in Bath without having to look after Anne." Caroline studied her Ladyship carefully. She was really not as old as that. Now that she knew what Anne had told her, she guessed that Lady Catherine was not yet halfway her forties. If she would dress more fashionably, she would look a lot younger. Stop it, Caroline! Stop it! Trying to make a match for one person is quite enough. Concentrate on Anne, even though her mother's age places her in a much more hopeless situation.
"Very well," Lady Catherine said finally, seeing some advantages of going to Bath as a rich widow not accompanied by her daughter. "Anne shall accept your offer. I shall take Mrs. Jenkinson to Bath."
I am happy that Anne gets a say in this! I am sure she will be glad to be rid of that Mrs. Jenkinson for once, too. Oh Julia, my little girl! I swear I shall never decide things for you like this when you are old and wise enough to do it yourself. "I am glad it is settled then. We shall expect Anne for dinner this evening."
"Shall I have your carriage ordered?" Lady Catherine asked.
"There is no need. I am on foot."
"I beg your pardon?"
"Richard has taken the carriage home," Caroline shrugged. "It is not far."
"You must buy another carriage. You cannot escape doing so, because the next time you will have a child, your family will be too big for one carriage. Perhaps you will only be given twins, and you will have a dozen children before ten years have passed. How do you propose to transport them all?"
"It was only a twist of fate, and I am sure Richard had nothing to do with their being twins. Richard only wanted to give me one, I suppose. But in the unlikely case that it should happen again, we shall get ourselves a pony cart." Caroline hoped she would not give birth to twins five times in the next ten years, even though she realised with a shock that she was not so fiercely opposed to having another child anymore. But a dozen children would wreck my figure!
"It will be scandalous for Lord and Lady Matlock to transport their children in a pony cart!" Lady Catherine exclaimed.
"They have been known to do stranger things," Caroline said in amusement. "I must take my leave now. They await me."
Chapter 25
Caroline arrived home a little wet, because it had started to drizzle. First she informed the housekeeper of their expected guest, and then she went looking for the rest of the family. "My shoes do not get as dirty as this in the country," she sighed when she entered the billiard room where her husband and children were sitting on the floor.
Richard snickered. "Are you homesick for the country, Caroline?"
Caroline stood watching them. "Perhaps. Your aunt said we had to buy another carriage."
"Why? To keep your shoes clean?"
"She says that with the other five sets of twins we are likely to have in the next ten years, our family will no longer fit in one carriage."
Richard looked up. She saw him look slightly shocked, but it was only a flash. "Are we still on schedule, do you think?" he asked nonchalantly.
"You would love it," she stated, looking at him searchingly. "You would love to have your mornings disturbed by a dozen wild and noisy children who jump on you while you are trying to sleep a little longer."
"I wonder," he said pensively. "I very much wonder how you know they will do that, unless you have something of the wildness and noisiness in you yourself. In that case you cannot object to it very much, I should think." His eyes sparkled.
"I am not wild and noisy," Caroline protested. She sat down on the floor too, even if it struck her as a little strange. Julia waved wildly, so she pulled her daughter onto her lap.
"Neither am I, so how on earth could we produce wild and noisy children? I am sure they will be well-behaved and quiet. Besides, I should think that you would have me exiled from our bedchamber long before we could ever reach the dozen. Somewhere around the third pair is my guess. Especially if we are going by Aunt Catherine's timetable. Four years from now that will be! No, I would not want a dozen if that will be the case, and knowing you, that will be the case," he teased.
He spoke in a teasing tone, but Caroline knew he was more serious than he appeared. "I might surprise you," she said calmly.
"You will banish me after the second pair?" Richard winced. "Or as of now, so we do not have to buy another carriage?"
"I may not do so at all."
Richard smiled.
"Oh!" Caroline sighed. How could he ever get it into his head that she could do such a thing when he kept smiling like that?
"What is it?"
"Nothing," she said quickly. "Anne will be staying with us for a while. She will come to dinner as well. Lady Catherine was going to take her to Bath --"
"But Lady Matlock overruled?"
"Exactly. Lady Catherine is now going to Bath alone, and I wish her luck with all the unmarried men that seem to be there."
"Not her too, Caroline! You can not do this to me."
"No, no, no! Do not worry. She can take care of herself." All of a sudden the twins decided that they were hungry, and that their parents had been talking long enough. "Yes, we will go upstairs," Caroline said, getting to her feet with Julia. She motioned for Richard to carry James. "And after nursing you will go to sleep, and Mama will read a book and Papa will -- well, what will you do?"
"I have no idea," Richard said. "I think I shall read one too."
"Really?"
"Why do you give me such an odd look?"
"Well," Caroline said. "I hardly ever see you read."
"Exactly. You hardly ever see me read, but that does not mean I never do it. Besides, you forget that I do not even have to read your books, because I hear all about them."
"I have had to improve your tastes in literature, music and art a little," Caroline said defensively. "You only always read the necessary things, nothing for pleasure."
"I do not think the book you talked about last was something a person would read for pleasure either."
"But it was much more pleasant to discuss," Caroline objected. "With some other books you always seem to know how they end before I tell you."
Richard laughed. "Oh, those! That is because they all end in the same way."
"Yes, they do, but I do find them diverting at times."
"I am sure they are," he said diplomatically and assisted Caroline in getting ready. "Shall I read to you from one of those diverting books then?"
"No!" Caroline shook her head with a smile. "Your tone will only make me laugh and your children will not have a quiet feed. Go," she said, motioning with her head. "Be good and I shall come down later to play billiards with you."
"I hope you will not throw the balls too, because I already have a bump on my head."
"What did you do?"
"Julia throws better than you do. She hit me in the head with a ball."
"Do not exaggerate, Richard."
"I wish you would not always see through me, Caroline."
"What really happened?" Caroline asked.
"I was lying on the floor, and she patted my forehead with a ball."
"Why were you lying on the floor?"
"Actually, I have no idea," Richard grinned and rubbed his forehead. "I think there is a tiny bump on my head now."
"Oh! Sometimes I wonder if I do not have three children instead of two. Oh well, come here and I will give you a kiss on it and it will go away." Caroline kissed his forehead. "Now go, and leave us in peace."
"No, I have changed my mind. I shall sit here and very seriously tell you how we played and how I passed my time away from you," he said and he told her, indeed very seriously, while Caroline merely listened with a smile.
Part 26
Caroline had put the children to bed and she and Richard went downstairs to play billiards. He had taught her to play, because he had not wanted to give up his favourite pastimes after his marriage, and he had not wanted to leave his wife alone either. He had been in a quandary at first, but it had soon occurred to him that she could keep him company while he played. At first Caroline had only watched, but she had soon tried it herself after Richard had thought out loud that it would be more fun if she could play too. Of course she could not beat him yet, but occasionally she played very well by accident.
Caroline had been a little confused when Richard seemed to think it was quite acceptable for a wife to do everything her husband did, even if that was not what she had always considered ladylike conduct. Once she had found she did not lack the abilities to join him in anything and that she actually enjoyed it, she had ceased to care, especially after he had teased her about her worries about what other people would think. He had said, "You are my wife, and therefore completely at my disposal. If anyone should disapprove of it, you are not to blame. Tell them your husband ordered you." Caroline had wondered if anyone would believe that, since he was as likely to order as she was to obey, but it had reassured her nevertheless.
They played until Anne was announced, and Richard thought Anne had certainly not wasted any time packing, but then he recalled that his aunt considered herself as somewhat of an authority in that field. Lady Catherine would no doubt have supervised the packing of her daughter's belongings. The ladies went upstairs to do something, probably unpacking, and he thought of his poor, unsuspecting friend. He was not certain if Caroline was the right person to notice possible attachments, although she might well notice the symptoms of somebody trying to fight a growing attachment.
"This is a quiet room, I think," Caroline said to Anne. "I have never slept here, but I think that the rooms at the back are more quiet than those at the front."
"It would not matter to me," Anne protested. She did not want to be a nuisance.
"Of course it would. It is also sufficiently far away from the nursery, so you will not be woken, I hope. The children tend to cry for me long before I would want to get up myself."
"Why do they cry?"
"Because they are always very hungry when they wake up, and for some reason they always wake up very early. They are asleep, but they will probably be waking up now. I must go and see what they are doing. Will you come?"
"Yes. Can they say anything yet?" Anne asked.
"Well, nothing that is remotely comprehensible yet, as much as I should like to think of them as two little geniuses," Caroline laughed as they walked towards the nursery.
James and Julia, who never seemed to need very much sleep, were already awake and chattering. As soon as they noticed Caroline was in the room, they started crying.
"Is something wrong?" Anne asked anxiously.
"They want out. I think they are bored with their view. I should be much obliged if you could hold one for me while I change the other."
Anne sat down holding one baby, while Caroline was busy. She liked the feeling, although she did not know which one she was holding. They were so much alike that she could not see the difference. "Which one is this?" she asked eventually, hoping that Caroline would not be offended because she could not tell them apart.
Caroline held up a half-naked infant. "Well, this is James, as you see."
Anne looked slightly shocked and she blushed. "Oh!" Perhaps she should not have asked.
Caroline smiled to herself and decided to bring up something else. "Does Lady Catherine know many people in Bath?"
"Yes, she knows almost everybody, I always think."
"Then you will not be worried about her being lonely?"
Anne thought about it. "No. She always meets people she knows, or she will acquaint herself with anybody she has not previously met, if they are interesting enough. They are never interesting to me, though, because they are always much older."
"Good!" Caroline smiled. "You might like my little card party then. You will not be the youngest, and the oldest is perhaps seven years older than you are."
Part 27
While Anne was still digesting all of this new information, her cousin came in and he and Caroline began a whispered conversation that she could not overhear.
"My Aunt Catherine especially requested that you would not tell Anne any more birth stories, because she found them shocking. I forgot to tell you that," Richard said.
Caroline giggled. "I can imagine that."
"I do not think Aunt Catherine would approve of Anne seeing you changing their nappies either."
"I think I shocked Anne by holding up James before I put his nappy on and saying it was him, as she could see."
Richard pictured this and laughed. "I think I shall take her downstairs to have some tea while you feed them. Do not enlighten her about too many things at once." He walked over to Anne. "Anne, perhaps you would like to join me for some tea?" he asked politely. "You are my guest as well, and I would not want you to think I am ignoring you. Caroline will be busy with the children."
Anne followed him to the drawing room where they sat down.
"What have you been doing since you came to town?" Richard asked.
"Not very much," Anne admitted. "We visited a few people and we went to that ball where we encountered you. Have you done anything interesting?" she asked. She was less reserved around him than around Caroline, since she had known her cousin all her life.
"Oh no! We are growing into very dull, old, married people," Richard smiled.
"Surely not," said Anne. "You do not behave as if you lead a very dull life. Dull is when it is predictable and nothing out of the ordinary ever happens." She hesitated. "Rosings Park is dull. It was always slightly better when you and Darcy visited, but you were always together and never paid very much attention to me."
It had never occurred to Richard that Anne would have enjoyed more attention, and it was clearly visible in his face. "You never said anything," he said apologetically. "If I had known..."
"I do not blame you. The whole problem was that I was supposed to be engaged to Darcy. If I had sought his attentions and yours, it would only have made matters worse, but neither am I the sort of person who would force my presence on my cousins if they did not show they appreciated it. I did enjoy your visits, though."
"Were you very relieved when Darcy married?" Richard asked.
"No!" Anne exclaimed, and then she blushed for her vehemence. "It threw my mother into a rage, and she was even blaming me for it, because I had not been able to attach him to me. Of course it did not take very long before she came up with an alternative candidate."
"Oh," he said with pity. He knew that had been him, but he had never considered to possibility of Aunt Catherine blaming Anne.
"But then the alternative candidate decided to find a bride elsewhere as well, and for a while life at Rosings was unbearable. You and Darcy were not welcome anymore, as you know, and I was left alone with my mother who abused her nephews and their wives in every conceivable way. You might have your doubts about my understanding when I tell you that I had almost always believed what she said, until on these occasions she went so far and it sounded so ridiculous that I really could not believe it anymore and I had some thoughts that were completely opposed to hers. Only I dared not voice them, so she still does not know."
"Silent rebellion." Richard's eyes sparkled. He rather liked the idea of Anne silently conspiring against Lady Catherine. "Were you planning to run off with the stable hand?" He could not resist asking that.
"Perhaps I should have," Anne reflected. "If I had really wanted to upset my mother. But she means well, so it did not occur to me."
"Anne! I am shocked."
"Why? Are you shocked that I would entertain the thought of running off with the stable hand? Do not worry, for I do not even know him."
Richard bit his lip. "I know you do not know him. Rosings' stable hand has been in service for the past seventy years at least."
Anne's mouth fell open, and then she laughed.
Part 28
Anne had gone upstairs to change for dinner and Richard, who needed less time to change, was still in the drawing room when the son of his neighbours, young Baxter, arrived. He was in his early twenties.
"I think I am in love," Baxter blurted out. "I need some help in wooing my lady, my Lord."
"Et tu, Brute? Is it infectious?" Richard asked. "Why must I assist everyone? Has Cupid gone on holiday and has he left his little assistant Caroline quite helpless?"
"I beg your pardon?" Baxter thought his neighbour was not making any sense.
"Have you fallen prey to her Ladyship's dislike of single people?"
"Lady Matlock?" asked Baxter. He hoped Lord Matlock did not think that he was chasing after his wife, or that she had been chasing after him, but why else did the man talk about her Ladyship preying on single men? Anyone chasing after Lady Matlock would surely be dealt with in a pretty thorough manner, Baxter feared. "N-n-no!"
Richard saw his neighbour's frightened look and grinned. "Do not misunderstand me, Baxter. I meant to ask if she had tried her matchmaking skills on you and your girl."
Baxter looked relieved. "She did not, my Lord."
"There is hope for my lady yet. You are in love, you say?"
An exalted look passed across Baxter's face. "Oh yes! I do not know where to begin --"
"Then do not. I quite understand," Richard assured him before the young man could begin to sing his beloved's praise. He was certain that she paled in comparison to his own beloved at any rate. Richard had discovered that he had the annoying tendency to feel very smug when other men described their wives or fiancées. No matter how beautiful or virtuous or accomplished their ladies were made out to be, he would always think the men were deluded, or so blinded by love that they thought their ladies were wonderful. "And you need assistance, which is also quite comprehensible to me."
"Should I buy her a small gift, or write her a poem?" the eager Baxter asked.
"A poem? Make it a sonnet. Even if it may confuse your lady, it ought to make her realise that she interests you enough to spend a long night racking your brains, composing and depleting your stock of brandy, giving yourself a tremendous head ache the following day. Surely she cannot be insensitive to such a sacrifice? Not immediately, mind you, but after a while the enormity of this deed will sink in."
"I cannot write a sonnet."
Richard shrugged. "Then write in French. Vous êtes si belle et je vous aime, c'est pour ça que je vous écris un poème. French is very romantic, so I have heard, but not being of the romantic kind, I cannot compose very elegantly and therefore it may not sound very good. I favour the more ungentlemanlike approach."
"What is that?"
"I did not go for all those protestations of love and devotion. What is the use?" Richard declared. "For the lady might fall in love with fancy language you will never use again once you are married to her."
"What did you do then?"
"I suggested marriage, and she accepted."
Baxter was a little confused, having read too much of Astrophil and Stella and other such sonnets. He thought a lady would never give in, or at the most after tormenting the man in the most cruel fashion imaginable. "Did you say you loved her and then she immediately accepted?" He sounded incredulous.
"No, I did not say that," Richard said in an amused tone.
"Did you not love her? You love her now. I always see you kiss her after your walk."
"Patrick, Patrick. Have your parents never taught you not to spy on your neighbours?"
"I always happen to see it by accident," the younger man said quickly. "So I must write a poem?"
"You must do what feels right. Perhaps you should tell her how you feel?" Richard frowned and grinned. "I never do that myself either. Write a poem, and have your sister check it for you."
"What? My sister? No! She must not know!"
"She might be very useful. I would perhaps never have been married if it were not for my sister. So there!"
"All right," Baxter said grudgingly. "I shall have my sister check it first, and then, if you do not object, I shall show it to you."
"Very good." As Baxter returned home, Richard went off to change, shaking his head in wonder. Was it Spring's fault?