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Chapter 25: Lydia's Plan
As soon as George stopped the car in her condo's parking lot, Lydia opened the door. She heard George try to stop her but she ignored him and ran into the condo, slamming it behind her in frustration. Her friend looked up from the late night TV show that she was watching and casually remarked:
"Have a good time? Oh, and thanks for the ride back!"
"Sorry that I ran off. I did mean to come back…really, I did." Lydia insisted as she saw her friend's skeptical look. "It's just that George, well…"
"Spare me," Moira responded. "If he was all that, then why do you look like crap?" She was surprised when Lydia burst into tears.
"Oh, I never want to see him again. What a lying two faced-jerk!" She told the story in detail to her friend who sat there listening with her mouth open.
"Well, " she said as soon as Lydia had finished, "What are you going to do about it?"
"Never see him again, duh!"
"Is that all?"
"What do you mean, is that all?"
"No plan to get even?"
"I hadn't thought about anything. Do you usually think revenge is the answer to break-ups?"
"No, not usually. But then there is the exception…"
"Well, what did you have in mind?"
"Do you know where he's staying?"
"Yes, I do. I had to drive him back last night."
"Okay, then here's the plan…" The two spent the greater part of the early morning hours plotting their revenge until they both fell asleep on the couch. When Kat got up around 10 a.m., she noticed them on the couch and the previous day's newspaper strewn around on the floor.
"Slobs!" she said, bending down to pick up the pages. Her eyes lit on several pages that had bright red rings around the article titles and she brought them into viewing range. "What are they…?" Her hand touched a sheet of notebook paper that had been torn out and had Lydia's writing on it, a list of sorts. As her hand rustled the papers near Lydia, it caused her sisters' eyes to flutter open.
"You're being too loud!" Lydia said petulantly. "Can't that wait?"
"You guys made a real mess of things here. What were you two doing?" Lydia closed her eyes again and pulled a pillow over her head.
"I'll tell you later, okay? Could you just go get me the morning newspaper, since you're up and all. There's a 7-11 just around the corner. And some donuts, too. Bear-claw, cinnamon roll or filled anything. Thanks."
"Sure." Kat said sarcastically to herself. "No problem. Like I have a life anyway, right? Slave to Miss Sociable of the Year, that's me." She let herself out quietly and went to the convenience store. She picked out several donuts and took a newspaper from the rack.
"Let's see what is news here in Padre…hmmm 'motor home joyride', 'driver dodges dog sled in Alaska', 'Erik the Red's Catering burglarized'…this place is really hopping." She folded up the paper and stuck it under her arm, balancing the juice and donuts as she re-entered the condo. To her surprise, both Lydia and Moira were awake and apparently waiting for her to return.
"Did you get the paper?"
"Right here! Not much news, except for a burglary."
"Really? Let's see!" Moira snatched the paper out of her hand and eagerly read the article to Lydia, whose expression of excitement puzzled Kat.
"What is so exciting about that?" she asked.
Lydia and Moira exchanged a secretive look. "Should we let her in on it?"
"Can you be trusted?" Lydia asked.
"To do what?"
"To keep our secret…and to help, a little."
"What does it involve?"
"Well, first of all, we need for you to…" Lydia whispered the rest to Kat, whose eyes widened and who burst out laughing.
"I can't believe that you're going to do that! Why are you doing this to George?"
"It's a long story. I'll tell you over the donuts! Oh, and we are going to need Denny today. Do you think that he will be available?"
"I imagine. He only talked about you all night."
"Think that he would be willing to help out?"
"Are you kidding? He thinks that George is slime."
"Great! We have all the actors that we need and all the info, too! What a day George is going to have! Remind me that I need to buy a pair of field glasses, too. They'll come in very handy." They all laughed at the idea of what they were going to do to George and sat down to breakfast.
Chapter 26 Lydia's Revenge
For George, the day began fairly normally. He woke up around 2 in the afternoon, having spent the greater part of his early morning hours trying to reasonably explain away Lydia's presence in the condo to Mary King. They finally made up, made love and went to bed, once George had explained that Lydia was just a friend who was having boy friend problems. George stretched luxuriously as he sat on the side of the bed, looking at Mary who was still sound asleep. "Am I good or am I good?" he thought to himself, rather pleased with his performance. "Now, what am I going to say to Lydia?" a smile crossed his lips as he hit upon the perfect excuse and he rose to shower and dress. Once dressed, he picked up the phone in the most remote part of the condo and dialed Lydia's number.
"Hi, is Lydia there?"
"Oh, hi George!" came Kat's saccharine-sweet voice. "I'll get her for you." Kat made a face at Lydia, like she was sticking her finger down her throat. "It's George."
"Hi George. Why are you calling me after last night?"
"You didn't give me the chance to explain."
"What's to explain?"
"Lyd, don't be that way."
"What way?"
"So cold…that's not like you."
"And is it like you, then?"
"Can I explain last night?"
"You can certainly try!"
"Mary is an old friend of the family. It's actually her condo that I'm staying at, and she told me that her dad would go ballistic if anyone else stayed there. Her dad doesn't even know that I'm there or he'll have a cow."
"Mhmm," was the noncommittal response. "And why exactly are you staying there anyway?"
"To save money."
"I thought that you just got a big student loan check last week."
"Well, that's for school. I have to save money where I can, Lyd. That way I can take you out and stuff."
"So, you're not shagging Mary?"
"Are you kidding? Mary? Did you get a real close look at her? C'mon Lyd, you know that you're my one and only."
"Oh, George, you're so sweet! I'm sorry that I ever, ever doubted you. Pick me up in a couple of hours?"
"You bet! See you soon, my sweet!"
"Okay, honeykins!" They both hung up the phone thinking 'sucker!'.
"He bought it, hook, line and sinker!"
"Wow, Lydia, I didn't know that you were such an actress!" Moira said admiratively.
"I did!" Kat deadpanned and ducked as Lydia heaved a pillow at her. "So, Denny, did you make your phone calls, yet?"
"Actually, yes, before I came over. Lydia, make sure that you get him to take you to a really expensive restaurant. Does his jeep already have gas in it?"
"Yeah, last night it was on full."
"Great! He won't know what hit him until it's too late!"
"What about the other call?"
"A piece of cake. I imagine in about 5-6 hours it will all hit the fan!"
"Excellent! Now, Denny, do you have time to take me shopping? I need some new lingerie!"
"And a Fedex package, hmmm?"
"No, I have a better idea!"
"Awesome! Let's hurry so that you're back in time for 'Lover Boy'!" They linked arms and left the apartment.
Chapter 27: The Icing on the Cake
"I'm hungry, George."
"You and me both. You look good enough to eat!"
"Food. I want some food. Moira doesn't keep much food in this place."
"Okay, we'll go out but we'll go back to my place for…dessert."
"Your place, George? I thought that it was Mary's."
"Semantics. Ready?"
"Just a second, I need to get my purse. I'll be right back." She went to her bedroom where the others were waiting. "In the palm of my hand!" she whispered and Kat gave her a high five. "See you guys in about 2-3 hours…or less if his money runs out!" They gave her the thumbs up sign and she left, saying loudly, "I wonder where Kat and Moira are. They went out a little bit ago to go shopping and I haven't seen them since." The others heard the door slam shut and they trouped out of the bedroom.
"Time to see if Mary is still at home!" Moira said, dialing her number. When Mary answered the phone, Moira asked sweetly:
"Is George there? He gave me his number and told me to call him anytime. Are you his sister that he talked so much about?"
"No, I'm not his sister." It sounded like she was talking between her teeth.
"Oh, well then, the maid. Well, could you tell him that I can't meet him for lunch after all. Something came up and I'll have to call him later. Thanks!" Moira hung up and let loose her pent-up laughter.
"Boy is he going to get it when he gets back!"
"It will be my turn in a few minutes!" smirked Kat. "But I think that we should send her on a little wild goose chase. Let's get in position first!" They left in Denny's rental van and parked in front of Mary's condo. "Hand me the binoculars! Great! The curtains are open and I can see her. Hand me the cell phone."
Kat made her call which had the desired effect. Mary left the apartment in a hurry and Kat called Lydia on her borrowed cell phone.
"Hey Lydia, incoming! Make up some excuse and get out of there. We're right on schedule."
"George…" said Lydia, giving him the Look. "I don't think that I'm that hungry…for food anymore."
"We're out of here! Waiter, my check please!" He gave the waiter his credit card and stared lustily at Lydia. "I guess that we're skipping right to the dessert, then!" Within a few minutes, the waiter returned with an embarrassed look on his face.
"Sir, I'm really sorry, but your card has been declined."
"What? Oh, never mind," he said impatiently, still fixed on Lydia's cleavage. "Here's some cash, keep the change." He grabbed Lydia's hand and they left the restaurant quickly. "My place is closer, let's go there!"
"Sounds like a great plan!" Lydia's eyes gleamed, but not for the reason that George was thinking. Once in Mary's condo, he grabbed her and started to kiss her passionately. "George," Lydia said huskily, "Will you excuse me. I have to go to the bathroom. Why don't you meet me in the bedroom. Close the door, I don't want you to see the surprise before it happens!" George groaned but walked rapidly to the bedroom, closing the door in anticipation. He took off all his clothes and got into bed. Outside the door, Lydia went to the bathroom and turned on some water. She left it running while she softly walked over to the couch where she had dropped her purse and pulled out a silky pair of underwear and put it on the floor, a few feet from the door. She kicked her shoes off and left them there and went back to flush the toilet and turn off the running water.
"Here I come!" she said in a sultry voice. "Are you ready?"
"Yes, come to me now!" said George. She opened up the door and saw him in bed, wearing only a grin. She left the door open and climbed on top of him and began to kiss and tantalize him. "Why did you put that music on so loud?" He managed to say before she attacked him again.
"Mood music…does that bother you? Maybe this will get your mind off the music…" George moaned and began to kiss her savagely, not hearing the front door open and the gasp that came from Mary as she took in the underwear, the high heels and, eventually the scene that was before her in her own bedroom.
"You big piece of….!" She yelled and George's ecstatic expression turned to one of horror.
"Mary, wait, I can explain!" Lydia picked herself off of the bed and straightened her dress.
"Looks like you two need some quiet one on one!" she said, smiling maliciously at George. "See you later. Oh, and I'll let myself out." She walked out into the living room, pausing to put on her shoes and pick up the underwear that was still laying there. Once outside the condo, she could still heard the strains of a loud argument and she smiled with satisfaction.
"Phase one complete," she said to herself . "And now for phase two!"
Chapter 28--Phase Two
Lydia climbed into the van and shared her victory with her accomplices.
"So, how long do you think that it will take for the police to arrive?" she asked Denny.
"Well, I told them what you said about his habit of staying home only in the afternoon, so they should be here any time now...look, here's one now!" They all crouched down and waited for the two officers to exit their vehicle and walk toward the condo.
"I sure wish that we had the place bugged! This would be so great!"
From inside the condo, the officers could hear a heated argument and the sound of breaking glass. They knocked forcefully on the door and George answered it, looking slightly disheveled.
"Yes? What can I do for you officers?"
"We're looking for a Mr. George Wickham."
"That would be me. What is this about?"
"We would just like to ask you a few questions in connection with a burglary at a local catering service."
"Sure. I have nothing to hide."
"Oh yeah, you scum!" Mary shouted from the bedroom.
"Women!" George shrugged as if trying to make a joke, but the officers didn't smile back.
"Where were you last night between 10 p.m. and 2 a.m.?"
"I was right here."
"Were you alone?" At this question, Mary came out of the bedroom and looked meanly at him with her arms folded.
"No, no I wasn't." George began to be a little concerned with the officers' no nonsense attitude.
"Would you mind telling us who you were with?"
"I was with a girl named Lydia Bennet."
"We would like her information so that we can verify this information."
"Sure, here is it." He produced a notepad where Moira's condo information had been written down.
"Thank you. Mr. Wickham, we would advise you not to leave town for any reason until your story checks out."
"I'll be right here. I'm not planning on going anywhere!" he smiled at them as they left, still with grave expressions on their faces.
"Is that so?" yelled Mary as she started to chuck his clothes off the balcony the minute the police car was out of sight.
The four in the van doubled over in laughter watching the flying stream of personal effects and clothing coming from the condo, and how George was scrambling below to gather them up and stuff them into the piece of luggage that had almost landed on his head.
"She's a good shot!" said Moira. "Not bad. Should have beaned him, though."
"When do you think that he'll find out about his bank account being frozen?" asked Kat.
"I imagine about the time that he starts needing money for another place to stay!" laughed Denny. "Looks like he's moving out, wouldn't you say?"
"He could always stay in his jeep…" began Kat as Moira shook her head.
"We super-glued the locks! He won't be going anywhere soon!" The four started up the van and headed off to the beach. It had been a full day and they felt a desperate need for some R&R.
Chapter 29
The day before all the university was to return to their classes, Elizabeth and William were at her apartment, enjoying a quiet evening of videos and romance. The calm was shattered with a loud knock at the door, followed by loud, boisterous voices demanding to be let in. Elizabeth went to the door reluctantly to let in Lydia, Kat and Moira.
"We had the best Spring Break!" Lydia began before being interrupted by Moira.
"Wait 'til you hear what we did to Lydia's now former boyfriend!"
"I'm afraid to ask!" Elizabeth said with a slight frown on her face. "What do you mean, former boyfriend?"
"Well, it would seem that George was not exactly a one-woman man, if you know what I mean."
"Lydia," William broke in. "Who is this George anyway?" He was hoping beyond hope that it wasn't who he thought it was.
"His last name is Wickham."
"Wickham!" Elizabeth and William cried together looking at each other in dismay.
"Yeah, do you know him?"
"You might say that," Elizabeth replied, turning red with anger and frustration. "So, what happened in Padre?"
"Well, it all started out that George was going to stay at a separate condo with an old friend of his, that's what he said. But his 'old friend' turned out to be a girlfriend, Mary King."
"How did you find out?" William asked with extreme curiosity.
Lydia related the kegger night's events and how upset she had felt inside. "And then, Moira had this brilliant idea that she got from the internet…"
"Go on!"
"Well, at first we just wanted to get a little even with him, but we found so many funny things to do to him that we just couldn't resist. My new boyfriend Denny helped us."
"New boyfriend?"
"Long story. Anyway, to make a long story short, we called in George's name to the police as a suspect in this burglary case, and made sure that he didn't have an alibi for that time frame. Then, well, we took care of his excess girlfriend problem!"
"No doubt. I'm going to love to hear this, I'm sure!" Elizabeth said dryly.
"I'll have to tell you in private." Lydia added, glancing sideways at William who only raised his eyebrows at her.
"Go on… tell her about the bank account!" Kat prodded.
"Oh, that. We just called his bank and told them that all his account stuff had been stolen and so they froze his account. We did that for his credit cards, too."
"Nice touch," William commented wryly.
"Well, we managed to get him taken into the police station for questioning, got him kicked out of his residence and made him poor on top of it all. Not to mention that he probably had a hard time getting into his jeep, what with all his doorlocks superglued and all."
"Remind me to stay on your good side!" William laughed. "Does this revenge gene run in the family?"
"Probably something that you don't want to find out?" Elizabeth replied.
"I'm starved!" exclaimed Lydia. "What do you have to eat? That was such a long drive and the only thing that kept me going was the thought that you'd feed me."
"Let's see. William and I didn't eat all the Nutella, so you could have a sandwich of that. Or there's some left-over chili in the fridge. Oh, there are chips and dip from 'Pancho Via's', if you want."
"Man, you guys must have eaten a lot of this Nutella stuff. The jar's almost empty."
"Well, try the salsa, then. It's pretty good." The three girls ate quickly, still talking loudly of their Spring Break adventure and all the hotties that they had met. Just as quickly they were gone, leaving behind a kitchen full of dirty dishes and food crumbs.
"Tornado Lydia!" Elizabeth said with a small degree of exasperation as she looked over the mess left for her to clean up. William picked up a sponge and some cleaning spray and began to clean the counters as Elizabeth washed the dishes. "Thanks, William. That was so sweet of you to help clean…"
"My pleasure!" he said softly, looking into her eyes and pulling her close. "Your wish is my command."
"Then sit back on the couch with me and kiss me until your lips fall off!"
"As you wish!" he mock bowed to her and led her to the couch. "Before we get all involved, I need to tell you something about George that will maybe make you a little more accepting of what Lydia and company did to him."
"How did you know that the revenge thing made me uncomfortable?"
"I'm starting to be able to read you a little," he said, kissing her cheek. "Besides, I know that that is not your style."
"You've got that right."
"Let me tell you how George has impacted my family…" William began slowly, taking Elizabeth's hands in his and facing her on the couch.
Chapter 30
"I guess that Lydia probably took out a lot of people's frustrations on him!"
"Not nearly all that he deserved, unfortunately. But at least her association with him was short-term. So, the effects appear to be minimal…which is good."
"How is your sister now?"
"She's doing much better. In fact, I think that Lydia's story will cheer her up quite well. Let's hope that Mary King is doing okay."
"Oh, poor Mary. I had forgotten about how she must feel."
"Well, it's all for the better. At least she knows what kind of a man he is."
"And I know what kind of a man you are, William Darcy!" She reached over and kissed him softly. "Now, about those kisses!" He pulled her almost on top of him and that's where Jane and Charles found them when they came into the apartment an hour later.
The rest of the semester passed by rapidly and soon finals were over and the two sisters were making plans for their double wedding. Charles and Jane had become engaged over Spring Break and were as inseparable as Elizabeth and William. After a brief ceremony at the small chapel on campus, the two couples were spirited away to their first nights together in white horse-drawn carriages. Elizabeth and William spent their wedding night at Pemberley.
When Elizabeth and William entered the mansion, the lights were all out and lit candles dotted the rooms which seemed to lead to the master suite.
"Would you like to take a jacuzzi, my dearest, loveliest Elizabeth?"
"I thought that you'd never ask!" She followed him to the hot tub room, where fresh flowers and lit candles perfumed the air.
"Do you still remember the way to the changing room?" he asked.
"Yes, it's this way, right?"
"Yes, I'll meet you back here!" He watched her leave and went to his own changing area, stripping off his clothes. He looked at the bathing suit hanging on the rack, and with a grin, walked quickly out to the hot tub and slipped in, leaving the suit right where it had been. He heard the faint noise of bare feet slapping along the marble and glanced up to see Elizabeth standing before him, an oversized robe cinched around her waist.
"I hope that you don't mind," she said with a sly look on her face, "but I just couldn't seem to find a suit that fit as well as my own…" she let the robe drop, revealing her lack of attire and slipped into the hot tub next to him. "Now, where were we before your butler interrupted us last time?" She put her arms around his neck, drawing him into a warm, sensual embrace before wrapping her legs around his torso and smiling a deep smile of satisfaction:
"Mr. Darcy, I can't wait to be with you in Paris tomorrow night!" she moved closer to him.
"Mrs. Darcy, I wouldn't mind if we just stayed here, if you're going to wear that suit!"
The butler, upon doing a last security check, noticed the system was shut down around the jacuzzi room with a note that read…"Interrupt me tonight and die!" He left the room with a grin on his face. "Yes Master!" he thought and went off to bed.
The next evening ( US time), as they flew into Paris, Elizabeth scanned the sky for familiar sites. "Oh look, William, there's the Eiffel Tower!" His hand tightened around hers and he leaned over to kiss her.
"Did you know that your eyes light up whenever you're really excited?"
"Well, they must be like Las Vegas by now!" she said suggestively, putting her free hand on his thigh. "I'm so glad that we have a few days here before the students arrive."
"Yes. Isn't it something that Professor de Bourgh decided to oversee the student flights herself and let us leave early?"
"Yes, isn't it…"replied Elizabeth absentmindedly as William had started to distract her with his free hand. "Stop, everyone will see us!"
"Like the French are going to care!" Sure enough, several people smiled widely at them and nodded their approval. The plane landed, they got off, hailed a taxi and went to their hotel, where a balcony overlooking the city awaited them. Elizabeth unpacked rapidly and left for some mysterious errand.
Upon her return, William smiled to see the baguette tucked under her arm and a sack from the nearest grocer. "What did you get?"
"Ne sois pas si impatient!" she turned around so that he couldn't see her pull an item out of the sack. Grinning, she turned back around and triumphantly held a jar aloft. (don't be so impatient)
"Nutella? You went out and got Nutella?"
"It's best when you buy it here in France…fresher and creamier."
"What, you want a sandwich or something?"
"Or something!"
"Why Mrs. Darcy, what ever could you mean?"
"Well, some of my colleagues at the University were telling me about Nutella use at my bridal shower. It seems that Laura, Danielle and Teg all agreed on the best way to use it!"
"And what might that be?"
"Come here and I'll demonstrate…" She opened the jar and waved it temptingly in his direction. "Viens, mon petit chou, j'ai quelque chose pour toi!"*
"J'y suis deja!"* He dipped his finger into the jar and started after her, chasing her through the hotel room, both of them laughing hysterically. The couple passing by their door outside, shook their heads, giving each other a knowing look.
"Ah, les amoureux!"* and opened their door, revealing a room stocked in Nutella.
Translation: Come, my little cabbage, I have something for you! I'm already there! Oh, the lovers!
The End.