Jump to new as of January 19, 1999
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Posted on Sunday, 20 December 1998
"Deck the Halls with boughs of holly…."
That infernal music. Around every corner invading every portion his mind. Wherever he went he could not escape the joy of the season. How on earth could people actually be happy during this horribly lonely time of the year? Darcy continued to stride towards his empty home.
But with each step the pace seemed to loose some of its life. What good was it to go home if there was no one to go home too? Would he ever have a reason to bound up the steps of his home with the sweet expectation of meeting someone he loved. In the recent years the holidays had become a time of sorrow and loneliness, nothing like the joy and happiness he had known as a child. Since the death of his father five years ago there seemed to be little to celebrate in his life. Oh he still had Georgiana, but the poor girl needed him to be her tower of strength. She was still not recovered from the effects of last summer. Georgiana was spending the Christmas holiday at Pemberley there was no need for him to show her his pain. She would only worry and she needed to regain her strength. So here he was the most eligible man in London alone and miserable, pining for his love on Christmas Eve.
Yes he was in love, he had tried to fool himself that separation would make him forget her, but the time apart only served to strengthen his regard and longing for her. Her face was there just beneath his lids every time he closed his eyes; she walked in his dreams always just out of reach. She was his waking thought and the last thing he would think of before going to bed. The way her eyes sparkled and danced in whatever she was doing. The pure joy and exhilaration that he had felt the first time he touched her hand when they were dancing. So there was no alternative, he was here this night miles away from his loved one and he would forever stay that way. There was no possible way that an alliance with this young woman was possible. They would never be recognized society; for although she was a gentleman's daughter, she had no connections that would make her worthy of the Darcy name. His family would certainly disown him. These would be grave misfortunes, would they not? Yet every time he thought of those brilliant eyes and that delicate touch, his resolve wavered more and more.
"It does no good to dwell on such thoughts. We will never meet again. I have disengaged Charles from Jane; he will never return to Netherfield for fear of meeting her or any of her acquaintances after she played him for such a fool. I will simply have to get rid of these thoughts of Elizabeth," how long had he moved to this area of familiarity with this woman, how far had he allowed himself to fall into the shining depths of her eyes?
Thankfully the appearance of the house brought him out of this reverie. He stalked inside and immediately installed himself in the library with a book and some brandy.
"Are you not going out tonight sir?" queried Mrs. Bates the housekeeper.
"What?" he was startled out of his thoughts of Miss Bennet.
"Are you not going out tonight sir?" she asked again with growing concern for her master.
"No I would prefer a quite night at home. Just have a tray sent in here for dinner some time later. Thank you."
"As you wish sir." She answered as she quietly left the room. Her concern for Mr. Darcy was growing by the minute. Ever since his return from the country he had not been himself. True he was not the lively happy boy that he had been before his father's death. But he had many responsibilities that men much older than he were not able to handle half so well. But there was a different sadness within him now. He seemed lonely and near broken-hearted. He had even refused to join Miss. Georgiana at Pemberley this year, as was his usual custom. Something must change soon, for the sake of everyone involved the master couldn't continue of this path of self-destruction.
Mrs. Bates would have been surprised to know how similar her thoughts were to that of her master on this night of joy. He had of course been invited to be with the Bingleys when they heard of his decision to stay in town for the holiday, but he felt the he could bear no more of Caroline's references to the loathsome time she had had in Hertfordshire or of her intentions toward him. There were times when only the grace of her being Charles's sister had stopped him from stepping out the bounds of propriety and slapping her. He could not spend the holidays with Bingley, for he was almost as miserable as Darcy, after the loss of his Jane. There were times when he looked into Charles's eyes and saw such pain that he had to look away. At these moments he wondered if his interference had been wrong, but never mind that it was done and done for the best.
Darcy gave up the pretense of reading and decided bed would be the best place for him at the moment. As he dragged himself into bed he tried to banish her from his thoughts, but she would not leave. So he succumbed to the blissful fantasy and drifted off to sleep.
As the clock struck twelve a strange feeling awakened him. Someone was watching him. As he opened his eyes he saw the face of an unknown man staring at him.
"Who are you and how did you get in here?" Darcy cried quite justifiably alarmed.
"Calm yourself young man; I am here to help you." The figure replied.
"Please leave at once or I will call my servants to remove you." Darcy commanded
"It will do no good, you are the only one who can see. I am a spirit sent to help you see the error of your ways and hopefully to make you see the person you are, and the man are destined to be if you do not change your ways." The man sedately stated.
"Excuse me, a spirit? You must think I am daft. Who let you in? Charles, Fitzwilliam," he shouted.
"No one let me in, and I am quite alone. Now if you will kindly remove yourself from the bed, we have much to do and see and very little time," the spirit said in a tone of voice that was not to be argued with.
"I am not going anywhere, now if you would kindly remove yourself from my bedchamber, I will attempt to awaken myself from this dream." I must have had more brandy than I thought last night. Darcy said as he tried to convince himself that he was still in control of the situation.
"Very well. I was told that you would be difficult." And with a wave of his hand Darcy was out of the bed and fully dressed.
"What???" Darcy cried with increasing alarm.
"Enough! It is time my work began. Now to see the times of your past youth." And with another wave of his hand Darcy and the spirit found themselves on the grounds of Pemberley.
"How did we get here? This is my home. Surely there can be nothing here that I do not know." Darcy fruitlessly protested.
"Hush look inside that window what do you see?" the spirit asked.
"I see my mother and father and Georgiana and myself, the Fitzwilliams and the Bingleys. The Christmas just before mother died. Look at how young we all look." Darcy said somewhat sadly.
The scene is a brightly decorated room with garland everywhere. Bright ribbons and candles adorn a large tree in the corner near a glowing fireplace. There are many people in the room. There is a group of young people dancing near a piano and the adults look on from the couches in the room. The air is filled with laughter and warmth. The feelings of love and joy are so strong that the are almost visible.
"But who is that happy young man dancing with that young woman. Talking and laughing with everyone in the room?" the spirit asked.
"Why that is I. Do you not recognize me? Surely I have not changed that much since that brief time ago?"
"But what is that expression I see? I believe it is a smile. One of joy and happiness, where has that smile gone?" the spirit questioned
"Oh but life was so easy then because I was so happy. I was loved and I loved. There was no reason for sadness." said Darcy.
"But surely you are loved and have love now. Have all of these people here died?" the spirit sternly asked.
"No, but….." he trailed off.
"But what? They are alive and still love you, yet you would choose to cut them out of your life and live alone and miserable, never to smile and live with the joy that I see before me now." the spirit asked incredulously.
"I do not want to be alone it is just that, ….that…. I….. well I …… " the words were not there, was there any way to finish the sentence without disclosing his thoughts of Miss Bennet.
"Your self-importance has caused you to forget who you are. What a terrible occurrence," the spirit scoffed at Darcy. "Come we have another scene to see," and with a wave of his hand the brightly lit drawing room was replaced with the same drawing room only now it is dark and solemn.
"What time is this?" Darcy asked unsure if he really wanted the question answered.
A young man enters followed by a pale slender young woman.
"This is the Christmas just after your fathers death," the spirit quietly said.
"William, what do you think about getting some garland and holly to string about this room and the hall, it just doesn't feel like Christmas with the house so dark and empty." Georgiana asked softly.
There is a small pause, "What reason have we to decorate, we are alone in the world and no amount of holly or garland is going to give us back the life that we once knew, " William spat out and then stormed out to room to leave a stunned Georgiana to her tears.
"Oh Lord how could I have said those things to her? I was supposed to be the one to take care of her and protect her. But I have never really been good at that job. I was dealing with my own feelings, how was I supposed to celebrate a holiday that only meant pain because those near and dear to me were not there any longer?" Darcy cried. The room darkened.
"You could have comforted her and thereby comforted yourself. The exile was self-imposed. There were those that loved you and wanted you near," the spirit answered calmly. " But come we have more to see." And with another wave of his hand they were transported back to London. They were now at Charles's home.
"Why are we here? I was here but yesterday?" Darcy asked.
"Yes but there are things that you did not see then that you may now witness," replied the spirit.
Sitting in front of the fire in the drawing room was the jovial Charles Bingley, only now he did not look so happy. His face and mainly his eyes were that of a man whose heart has been broken. He was in the depths of despair. Staring with unseeing eyes, Charles watched the flames dance.
"Oh Jane I would give anything to have you here with me, to know that you love me. How could I have been so wrong? Your eyes, your looks, your words they all told me of love. But….Darcy must be right--the feelings were mine alone. How I miss your smile. Wherever you are, whoever you're with, I hope he is worthy and giving you a Merry Christmas." With this, the words failed Charles, and it took all that was in him to control the tears that were threatening to come through.
"Show me no more. I can't bear his sadness any longer. Why do you show this to me? To prove how miserable he is, and make me doubt myself even more?" Darcy exclaimed.
"So you doubt your actions? This is good, you make quick progress." The spirit jeered. " There is more to this scene though."
With a wave of his hand Darcy and the Sprit soon found themselves at Longbourn. The estate was the scene of much gaiety and merry making. Yet off in a lone corner sat a young blond woman. Her eyes were sad as she stared out into the night with the same lost, sad eyes as Charles Bingley. Then another woman began to make her way over to the window.
"She is breathtaking!" Darcy cried involuntarily. There was no denying that a month away from her had done nothing to lessen his regard for her.
"Jane please come away from the window and join the party. There is no life without your beauty. Come, it will make you feel better and get your mind off of him." Elizabeth quietly cajoled.
"No thank you Lizzy, really I am fine. There is really no way to take my mind off of him. I truly did think that he cared and despite all that has happened I still prefer him to any man of my acquaintance. I did so believe that he preferred me too. Well I must have been mistaken. I will just have to live with my memories. After all, as Papa says, being slighted in love is the next best thing to being married." Her attempt at humor bringing a smile that never reached her eyes.
"Oh Jane I wish I knew what to say to comfort you, but I am as unlucky in love as you." Lizzy said while smiling.
"But what of you and Mr. Wickham?"
Darcy visibly shuttered at this thought.
"Oh that was nothing, he is merely a friend. I am not rich enough or silly enough to fall for his charms."
"Then you don't believe his story about Mr. Darcy?" Jane asked interested for she never really believed that Mr. Darcy was as bad as Wickham was saying.
"I can't say that, but there is something odd about someone betraying such a secret to so new an acquaintance. I don't know what to think. All I know it that he certainly finds Mary King and her fortune more charming than I, and if that is the way of his heart, then he was never really the man for me." Lizzy stated rather matter of factly. "Please come and join in the party, it will do you good."
"I will in a moment just give me a chance to collect myself."
As Lizzy moves away we hear Jane's almost inaudible voice, "Mr. Bingley, wherever you are tonight, whomever you are with, I hope that she deserves you and that you are having a Merry Christmas." With a final sigh and a longing gaze out the window Jane leaves her seat.
"Oh Good God what have I done? I have made two people miserable. They are worse off than I. At least I have no hopes that Elizabeth cares for me, but to feel that you are loved and have those hopes shattered--is there any pain worse in the world? What kind of man am I?" Darcy asked the spirit desperately.
"No, there is no pain in the world like unrequited love. The heart is a delicate instrument. There is no real physical pain, yet when it comes to love, the pain of a broken heart makes everything else disappear. No, you are not a bad man, you were doing what you thought was right. Now you have the chance to see the truth and judge for yourself what should be done. Come our time is drawing to a close and there is one more scene for us to visit."
They are once again back at Pemberley. This time the sadness and despair in the air is so strong that the trees seem to droop and frown and the roaring fire does little to dispel the gloom that pervades the room. There is a lone man sitting in a chair by the fire. He is older than his years and the sadness in his eyes is impenetrable. Darcy and the Spirit look over his shoulder and read his letter with him.
My dear brother,John and I would dearly love to have you with us during the holiday. Please reconsider your decision and come join us in London. The children would dearly love to see their uncle, and Charles is not the same person he once was, perhaps your company would raise his spirits. Please come to us. We long to see you again.
Love,
Georgiana
The man takes the letter, crushes it and throws it into the fire place. As he watches the letter turn to ashes, the man takes his head in his hands and begins to weep.
"Please take us away from here. That man is me. But why am I alone?" pleads Darcy.
"Because you became so adept at shutting people out, that even when you wanted to let them into your life you were unable to," replied the spirit.
"There is a chance that I can change? Is that why you brought me here? But how? How do I tell Charles the truth and bring life back into my home, when I don't have the love that I desire?" asked Darcy
"There is a chance for change, but the chance rests entirely on you. You must learn from what we have seen here today. You must grow. You must learn how to open your heart and love again. Stop allowing your head and your place in society to rule over the interests of the heart." As he is speaking these words, Darcy and the spirit are transported back into Darcy's bedchamber. "Learn from what you have seen tonight, for only you have the power to alter these visions that we have seen tonight." With this the spirit is gone.
The Next Morning
As the bells chime seven the figure on the bed begins to stir.
"What a strange dream…," Darcy said, then the memories the past night's events rush back to him. "But wait…. It was not a dream. There is so much I have do. I must begin right away. I will send a note to Charles telling him to leave for Netherfield immediately. Then I will send for Georgiana to join us at Netherfield. With any luck we can turn our belated Christmas celebration into Charles's engagement celebration. Then Elizabeth, Oh Elizabeth." His voice trails off at the thought of her. He would begin to prove himself worthy of her love and hope that she would learn to love him as much as he loves her.
He began to rush about, writing the notes and getting himself dressed. Then just as he was to quit the room he turned and spoke, "Thank you spirit. I have heeded your warnings and am finally beginning to fulfill my destiny. Thank you for saving me." And with these quiet words he set out to make his life one worth living.
Chapter 2
The Next Morning Continued
Bingley,I have sent Mr. Johnson to collect you. Please pack your things quickly and quietly me must travel away from London post haste and unaccompanied by anyone. If anyone asks say you have left to settle accounts in Hertfordshire, ALONE, and will return as soon as possible. I will explain everything when you arrive.
Darcy
As Darcy descended the stairs he noticed a very confused Mrs. Bates staring up at him.
"Good Morning and Merry Christmas!!" He exclaimed
"Merry Christmas to you sir, " she replied almost as shocked by his jovial greeting as by the activity that had been going on in the household since he had arisen. "Begging your pardon sir but are you feeling all right? I saw Mr. Johnson leave in quite a hurry a little while ago."
"Yes. I feel wonderful. Mr. Johnson went to fetch Mr. Bingley; Mr. Malcom is packing my things. We will be leaving for Hertfordshire as soon as Johnson arrives with Bingley." Explained Mr. Darcy.
"Oh. Do you know when will you return sir?" She asked very perplexed.
"My plans are indefinite at the moment. Miss Georgiana will be joining me in Hertfordshire in a few days. We will stop here on our way back to Pemberley. I will write soon when our plans are firmly settled. I will be in the library. Please send Mr. Bingley in as soon as he arrives."
Darcy entered the library with plans of finishing a few business matters before his departure. He sat down at his desk to begin the necessary letters that would allow him to be away from home for an extended period of time. "No matter how long it takes I will raise her esteem of me and make myself worthy of her affections. I will show her that I am not the man she thinks I am and will restore myself to the happy person I was not so long ago. I have been given a second chance that many only dream of and I will not waste it."
His thoughts were interrupted by knock at the door of his study.
"Mr. Darcy sir, Mr. Bingley has arrived."
"Thank you Mrs. Bates. Please show him in immediately."
"Good morning Darcy and Merry Christmas." Said Bingley, as he was shown into the room. Once the servants had left he asked, "Now why on earth have you brought me here with my clothes, my valet and without my sisters? Has anything happened to Georgiana?"
"No, no. The reason for your visit is a much more pleasant one. We are going to Hertfordshire."
"Please do not speak of going back there, you do not know how it pains me to hear of that place." Bingley interrupted.
"That is another reason you are here without your sisters. There is something that I must tell you. What I am about to say may cause you a great deal of pain and will give you just cause to hate me forever. So in advance I ask for your forgiveness." Bingley moved as if to speak. "No please let me finish before you speak. When you let Netherfield last month your sisters and I were very aware of your attachment to a certain young lady in the neighborhood. When you left for London we followed and convinced you of her indifference to you. For my part if this deception I feel very ashamed. I was wrong to tell you that she did not care for you. It was clearly written on her face the affection that the she felt was real and genuine." With this out Darcy at last looked up to face Bingley.
For a moment Bingley was completely speechless. His face turned a ghostly pale and his eyes seemed to leave the present. "So what you are telling me is that she loved me and I loved her and you conspired with my sisters to keep me from her?" He asked in a very low, quiet voice that was scarcely audible.
"Yes, Bingley. I was wrong, utterly and completely." Replied Darcy fervently.
"I have your blessing then?" Bingley asked a trifle eagerly.
"Do you need my blessing?"
"No, but I should like to know I have it all the same."
"Then let's on to Hertfordshire my friend."
In The Carriage
"Darcy you have never told me why you are going into the country. As much as I enjoy your company you seemed to derive little pleasure from our stay there." Bingley asked more than a little curious for his friend's reply.
"Bingley, aside from the wrong that I have done to you and Miss Bennet there is one more person whom I have treated very badly," sighed Darcy
"And whom, may I ask is this person?" Bingley asked even though he was almost sure that he knew the answer.
"Miss Elizabeth Bennet. Almost from the very first moment of our acquaintance I have felt for her a regard that I have never felt for another woman. She is the first woman who did not agree with every word I said or fawn over me because of my fortune. She would not accept my abominable behavior in society for the chance to become Mistress of Pemberley. She is a remarkable woman. Her beauty only matches her wit and intelligence. How can I begin to describe the only person who has captured my heart and the person who holds me in the lowest regard?" All of this tumbled out before Darcy could truly comprehend what he had said. For the first time in years he shared his soul with another being.
Bingley sat stunned for a moment. "Truly Darcy I had my suspicions that you held her in high regard, but I had no idea of the depth of your feelings."
"Therein lies the problem, if you, my closest friend in the world, did not see my feelings, how can I hope that Miss Bennet has seen them. She thinks me an arrogant, cruel man and by some of my behavior to her she is absolutely right."
"Come do not think so meanly of yourself. You are making this journey so somewhere you must feel that there is some hope for you."
"Bingley, you are a true friend. I have hindered you happiness and allowed you to miserable when I had the power to make you happy and here you are encouraging me." Cried an astonished Darcy.
"Love is the greatest gift that man can receive. To be in love is wonderful; to know that your love is returned is heavenly. But I know the pain of unrequited love all to well. Were it not for your information I would still be feeling the pain that you feel at this moment. You are doing the right thing. You are going to her with an open heart and a desire to set things right. She is a sensible woman who will see you for the good man that I do. Be true to yourself and your heart and all will turn out well."
Both men sat silent for a while considering Bingley's words. They made perfect sense but as everyone knows it is very hard to follow good sense when affairs of the heart are involved. There is too much at stake and our emotions tend to lead us astray. Darcy spent a few long moments contemplating his friend's words.
"You are right my friend. I will try to follow your advice. I got very little rest last night I was rather busy, I think I will try to sleep for a while. One more thing, whatever did you tell your sisters?" Asked Darcy while he was still conscience.
"Oh that," chuckled Bingley. "I left a note telling them that I had left for Hertfordshire to settle accounts at Netherfield and relinquish ownership. Alone."
"Thank you for that last statement I would hate for our endeavors to be interrupted."
Chapter 3
Longbourn- Christmas Day
There was a quiet knock at Elizabeth's door.
"Come in, " she softly spoke.
"I thought you would be awake. Merry Christmas!" Said Jane quietly for she did not want to wake the rest of the house.
"I wanted to enjoy the brilliant morning without all of the hustle and bustle downstairs. As much as I dearly love the snow it does hinder my daily walks. How are you feeling this morning?" The last sentence was spoken as she turned to face her sister.
"Better. I wish that we could spend the holiday season in a quiet manner. I love my family but there is something to be said for small parties."
"I understand. Have you thought anymore about my suggestion that you join our aunt and uncle in town for awhile?"
"I have not decided. I would dearly love to see my cousins again but, if I left when I returned you will have gone into Kent. Can we really leave poor father alone with mother for all of that time?" Jane answered quietly.
"But what of Mr. Bingley surely you know that that is the real reason that I wish for you to journey to London?" Cried Lizzy before she could help herself.
"Oh Lizzy there is no hope there. He is gone forever. His sister has written that his engagement to Miss Darcy is expected at any moment. If that is your design for my going into London then I will not go. How could I call on his sisters knowing that at any moment he may come in? I could never face him. Please I can't speak of this anymore." Jane ended on the verge of tears.
"There now. I am sorry. We will think of him no more. Tomorrow is the Holiday ball and we will be quite merry and begin to put our love lives back together without a thought of the Netherfield gentlemen." Lizzy resolutely replied.
"Gentlemen. I was only speaking of Mr. Bingley." Jane prodded noticing the growing color of her sister's cheeks. "Come now what really happened while I lay sick in bed? And what of the famous dance of Miss Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy? What are you not telling your dear sister?"
"You will not trap me so easily. Besides there is nothing to tell. He is a handsome man who finds me only tolerable. I wish to forget his rude remarks that is all." Lizzy replied a little to quickly to be telling the truth.
"I do not believe but I will not press you on the subject if you wish to confide in me I will be here. I hear Sarah coming. I will go and change and leave you to your thoughts." With this Jane left the room.
"Oh my thoughts. But I do not know what my thoughts mean. Every time I close my eyes I see his face. The one man that I should despise has become the model that no other man of my acquaintance can measure up to. Oh what is the matter with me? But I am never to see him again. I am resolved to think on him no more."
Netherfield- Late That Same Afternoon
"Well Darcy me made remarkably good time. But I suppose it is too late for us to make any social calls. Shall we go first thing in the morning and make our presence known?" Asked a smiling Bingley.
"Yes that would be agreeable. I think that your servants will make you presence known before you have the opportunity. I think we gave them quite a shock with our appearance today."
"I think you are right my friend. Now if you do not think me terribly rude I believe I will have a bath, then dinner in my room and off to bed."
"That is an excellent plan and one I believe I shall follow myself. Good night Bingley." Replied Darcy.
"Good night."
Meanwhile Back At Longbourn
A breathless Mrs. Phillips enters the parlor.
"Sister, sister, I have wonderful news. Mr. BIngley has returned to Netherfield. He arrived only and hour ago."
"What? Oh my dear Jane did you hear that Mr. BIngley has come back to you oh I knew he could not stay away from your beauty for long. But sister how did you find out?" Screeched Mrs. Bennet.
"I saw his cook Mrs. Fields passing by my window and I called out to her to ask the news of Mr. Bingley and what should she say but that he is back with his friend Mr. Darcy." Her sister excitedly squealed in reply.
Mrs. Bennet and Mrs. Phillips continued to chatter about Jane and Mr. Bingley's future. Jane moved quickly to Lizzy's side as Lizzy turned white at the mention of Mr. Darcy's name.
"Oh Lizzy what am I to do. What is the meaning of this sudden trip to the country? Surely he has only come to settle the affairs of Netherfield and leave again. I do not think I will be able to see him and maintain my composure." Jane asked desperately.
"I don't know what to think. But surely if he just had the affairs of the estate to settle he could have done that from town and why would he need the help of his friend. Jane we must be calm. After all he has just come to a house that he has legally rented. It is a shame really that it should cause such a fuss." Lizzy answered grinning a little by the end.
"I agree with you entirely. We shall leave him in peace." Jane stated a little tremulously.
Chapter 4
The Day after Christmas
Darcy and Bingley spent a rather sleepless night. Bingley spent the hours until dawn thinking of the way to open his heart to Jane. While Darcy spent the night tormented by his behavior toward Miss Bennet, and everyone else in Meryton for that matter. He wondered if he would ever be able to atone for his early mistakes and make his sentiments be know in a light that would be favorable to his lady.
The two gentlemen set off for Longbourn as soon as they had breakfasted. The ride went all to quickly for Darcy who had yet to compose his thoughts.
Meanwhile Back At Longbourn
Elizabeth had risen early. Unbeknownst to herself she had spent her night much like the gentlemen of Netherfield. That Mr. Darcy should so occupy her thoughts was astonishing to her. The more she tried to get him out of her head the more she thought of him. Why did he come back the country when he found the society so unbearable?
Lizzy's thoughts were interrupted by the screeches of her mother.
"Jane, Jane. Come quickly he has come, he has come. Oh dear me you are not half dressed. Sarah, Sarah come here at once and tend to Miss Jane."
"Mama, who has come?" asked a pale Jane.
"Mr. Bingley of course. I saw his horse approaching. Be quick child and put on you blue gown. Sarah come and leave Miss Lizzy." With this Mrs. Bennet left Jane to the care of Sarah and Lizzy.
"Please Lizzy don't leave alone no matter what Mama does. I don't think I can bear it." pleaded Jane.
"As you wish."
As Jane and Lizzy descended the stairs they could hear their mothers rapturous greeting to Mr. Bingley and her cold indifferent tone to his friend. As they opened the door to the room the first sight to meet Lizzy's eyes were the eyes of Mr. Darcy. She stood for a moment transfixed. The feelings that washed over her as she met his eyes were powerful. The rush of emotion was so great that she momentarily forgot who and where she was. What was she thinking to allow such a rush of feelings to come over her merely because she caught the eye of Mr. Darcy? He who had never looked at her but to find some fault. She must merely be overtired from her sleepless night. But if it was merely overtiredness why was there a blush creeping over her cheeks and a desire to once again meet his gaze to ascertain if what she thought she saw was really there?
Darcy was as equally overcome as Lizzy at the first sight of her. Even the pictures in his dreams paled in comparison to the living model before him. That she met his gaze and did not turn away or worse, stare him down in a an act of contempt gave him the sign of hope that he had been praying for. She was unsure, she was blushing (the blush was so becoming to her cheeks and eyes). Please let that mean that she did not find him as distasteful as she had when he had left Hertfordshire.
Of Bingley and Jane there was a reunion of true hearts. After the first meeting of eyes there remained little doubt that their hearts desire still rested within each other's hearts.
"OH Jane and Lizzy here you are at last. I was just telling Mr. Bingley how much we have missed him the past month and how he is still in my debt for a dinner engagement." exclaimed Mrs. Bennet with and emphasis on the last word.
"Yes it has been too long since we were all last together." stammered Mr. Bingley all the while casting glances at Jane.
"Of course of course it has been too long. You must come to the Holiday ball tonight as a way to become aquatinted with all your dear neighbors again. I am sure everyone is desirous to see you. Mr. Bingley how are your dear sisters did they accompany back to the country?" gushed Mrs. Bennet her words falling over themselves in her effort to keep Mr. Bingley in their company.
"My sisters were much engaged in town, so Darcy and I came on our own. We expect his sister to join us in a few days to visit." Said Bingley not realizing the import that his words would have.
Jane turned pale and excused herself from the room before she lost control of her emotions in front of everyone.
Lizzy saw her face and knew of her distress, "Please excuse Jane she must feel unwell, I will go and attend her." She left the room but not without catching Mr. Darcy's eye and seeing his shock and the comprehension of Bingley's words.
Chapter 5
"Oh Lizzy I knew it to be true but to here it from his own lips makes it so horribly real. I don't think I can bear to see him again." Sobbed Jane.
"Jane you must misunderstand his meaning. No one who has seen the way he looks at you can doubt his affection for you. You know that I love you too dearly to lie to you. Miss Darcy is Mr. Darcy's sister it is natural that he would want her with him during the holiday season. Please do not take this so much to heart until we have the whole story." Lizzy tried to comfort Jane but even to her own ears the words sounded false. She spent several more moments comforting Jane. Downstairs she heard the gentlemen leave. Her aunt had a cup of tea sent up to comfort Jane. She was puzzled by the look on Mr. Darcy's face as she left the room and was still trying to analyze it when there was a knock at the door. "Come in."
"Miss Lizzy here is a note for you. Is Miss Jane feeling better?" Sarah quietly asked
"Yes Sarah. Thank you." replied a puzzled Lizzy.
Lizzy went to the window seat to read the note. The outside read Miss Elizabeth Bennet in an unfamiliar hand. She quickly opened the note and skipped the contents to find the author's name. Mr. Darcy!!!! She glanced quickly up at Jane then back at the note.
Dear Miss Elizabeth Bennet,Please forgive my impropriety in writing this letter. But I feel that it is my duty to clarify a mistake that has been made. I could not help but see Miss Bennet's reaction to Mr. Bingley's mention of my sister. I can think of only one reason for her to react so to the name of one whom she has never met. I believe she has been deceived with regards to relationship between Mr. Bingley and my sister. As often as I have hoped to forward a relationship between them, that is never to be. The only relationship between Mr. Bingley and Georgiana is one of a brother and sister, despite the wishes of those around them. His heart has been otherwise engaged for many months. If I presume too much please forgive me--my only wish is to relieve Miss Bennet's anguish. We hope to see you both at the ball this evening. Please share this information with Miss Bennet in the manner you deem best to alleviate her suffering.
Sincerely,
Fitzwilliam Darcy
Elizabeth sat stunned. For Mr. Darcy to share such intimate information with her merely to give comfort and hope to a young lady he had once thought beneath him was almost incomprehensible. Lizzy turned to find Jane looking at her with a perplexed expression.
"Lizzy what is it--you have gone white?" Asked Jane momentarily forgetting her distress out of concern for her sister.
"Jane I have just received the most alarming note from Mr. Darcy. Here you must read it yourself." she handed the note over to her sister.
"Oh Lizzy. How did he know? Is this real? Oh! What am I to believe?"
"What are you to believe? Believe this letter of course. Who would know better of this affair than his best friend and her brother? Of course he is telling the truth why would he risk the bounds of propriety and our mothers prying to send this note to set your mind at ease. Believe this note and its writer. That Mr. Bingley loves you I remain in little doubt. If there were no hope his friend would not encourage you thus. Now come we must prepare you for the ball tonight."
Meanwhile Back In The Drawing Room
Mr. Darcy on seeing the look on both Miss Bennet's and Elizabeth's faces knew that he must do something to set right whatever wrong Miss Bennet had felt she had incurred. Bingley and Darcy soon excused themselves on the pretense of preparing for the ball.
"We are so looking forward to seeing you tonight. I am sure that Jane will be feeling much better soon." cried Mrs. Bennet.
"Of course we are looking forward to this evening too. It was a pleasure to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner. Until tonight." said Bingley
"Yes it was a pleasure to see you again Mrs. Bennet and a pleasure to meet you also Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner." stated Darcy.
As soon as they arrived at Netherfield Darcy hurried to the library to write his note to Miss Bennet. He placed the letter in the hands of his most trusted servant.
"Please take this to the servants entrance. I would like this note to go unnoticed by Mrs. Bennet if at all possible."
"Yes sir." replied the servant.
"Darcy whatever was the meaning of this rush to return home?" asked Bingley as soon as the servant had departed.
"Bingley, no doubt you noticed Miss Bennet's exit this morning?"
"Yes I am quite concerned. Does she find my behavior towards her so repulsive that she can not tolerate my presence?" questioned Bingley.
"That is not it all. Any one who has eyes can see the way that the two of you looked each other. I believe that Miss Bennet has been led to believe that your engagement to my sister is imminent."
"What? Who could have.....?" Then the answer dawned on him "Oh now I understand. Poor Miss Bennet. How am I ever to explain?"
"Don't worry Bingley that is why I hurried home. That note I just dispatched was to Miss Elizabeth Bennet. She will read the note and tell Miss Bennet in a manner that is best. She is her sister and will know how to give her the information. In the note I took the liberty of saying that we both hope to see them at the ball tonight." Darcy carefully explained.
"Thank you Darcy. That is quite a weight off my shoulders. Now all I have to worry about is finding the right time to propose to Miss Bennet."
"Good Luck my friend although somehow I don't think you will need it." smiled Darcy.