A Family Feud

    By Mary Collette


    "Samuel, now that you have come down from Oxford, what are your plans?" Zechariah Collins asked his younger brother the morning after the aforesaid happy event. "I am planning to go to America and start a mission there," replied Samuel Matthew Collins.

    "If you meant that as a joke, brother, it was not in the least funny," said Zechariah Collins, in a less than pleased tone.

    "It is what I have decided. I fear I would have no patience trying to flatter a rich patron. I am sorry, but I have to agree with the Wesleys," replied Samuel Collins. Not wishing to start an argument with his brother, Samuel Collins left the drawing room, and went to his room.

    "A mission in America, indeed! Bah! What utter foolishness. He just has not found the right living. I will find one for him. My godfather de Bourgh has a good one at Hunsford to present," thought Zechariah Epaphroditus Collins to himself, as he took up pen and paper.

    My Dear Godfather,

    I wish you joy in your forthcoming marriage to Lady Catherine Fitzwilliam. I was wondering if I might prevail upon your kindness. My foolish young brother has heard those trouble making Wesleys at University and has taken it into his head to go to America and start a mission among the Red Indian savages there. I wish to prevent him from coming to grief. Perhaps, if you could see your way to presenting the living at Hunsford to my brother, I would be ever so grateful. I am sure my brother would make an excellent curate. Until I write again, I remain.

    Your humble&c,

    Zechariah E. Collins


    One Month Later

    "Samuel, this letter came for you in this morning's post. My godfather de Bourgh offers you Hunsford. I would accept this living, for it is very lucrative and with Sir Lewis de Bourgh as a patron you may become a bishop." Zechariah Collins said to his younger brother, as he and their cousin Daniel Bennet came to the breakfast table. When the two young men had seated themselves, Zechariah Collins passed the letter to his younger brother.

    "Did you read the letter already, or is this the letter that you have been watching for this month past. I told you before, I do not want lucrative, I have no wish to become a bishop. My plans have been final this past month. I shall be leaving for America to start my mission. This is my true calling, brother. I have always felt this," replied Samuel Matthew Collins in a determined tone.

    "It has become your true calling ever since you happened to hear those troublemaking Wesley brothers speak, stirring up trouble," countered Zechariah Collins, in a less brotherly tone.

    "Brother, just because Sir Lewis de Bourgh was our Father's friend, does not mean I needs must feel obligated to him in any way. He is your godfather, not mine. As for blaming the Wesleys on my decision, I could have just as easily gone to Ireland to those relatives of Mama's and gone over to the Church of Rome instead. I have always wished to do this," said Samuel Collins, his voice becoming very quiet, but the meaning was there.

    "Samuel, you will never find a more kind patron than Sir Lewis. This will be a great opportunity for you," said Zechariah Collins, trying to reason with his younger brother.

    "Zechariah, I have no plans to spend the rest of my life flattering Sir Lewis de Bourgh, or his soon-to-be wife. As this is his third attempt at marriage, Sir Lewis is desperate to get an heir. Very desperate, if he chose as his third wife, the most opinionated, managing female England has had the misfortune to produce. The woman is practically on the shelf," replied Samuel.

    "Samuel, it is not very politic, nor is it diplomatic to voice your opinions on someone you know very little, if at all," said Zechariah, in a very shocked tone.

    "I am sorry brother, but they were not my opinions, as you very well know, I was at Oxford with her brother Marsden, they were his opinions of his oldest Sister. I have met both Lady Catherine and Lady Anne Fitzwilliam. I believe that no one introduced to Marsden's sisters would believe that they were related by blood at all," replied Samuel, in an exasperated tone of voice.

    "Brother, how do you think you are going to finance this foolishness of yours? I hope you do not expect me to give you the blunt, because I shall not give you a single pound. Surely you do not think that the monies that you inherited from your godparents will take you far," said Zechariah, as he picked up his knife and fork to cut into the bacon on his plate.

    "I will have all the money I need to finance my passage to America and my mission," replied Samuel, giving his cousin Daniel Bennet a knowing look.

    "Daniel! I might have known you would go to Daniel. I tell you this much cousin, if you give my brother so much as a farthing I will never speak to you again. This is all foolishness on my brother's part and you know it," shouted an outraged Zechariah Collins.

    "I am afraid that this will be a very quiet weekend on your part cousin, as my assistance is moot," spoke up a quietly amused Daniel Bennet.

    "Yes, I am only here to tie up loose ends and finish up packing the last of my trunks, then I will be taking my ship. This is good-bye brother. Flattering a wealthy patron just is not or never will be my calling. My final destination will be Western Pennsylvania," replied Samuel Collins, as he and his cousin rose from the table.

    So from that day to the day that Mr. Daniel Bennet received a letter from his Zechariah Epaphroditus' son; William Zephaniah Collins, some two months after he had received word of his estranged cousin's death, all communication such as it had been between the elder branch of the Collins family and the Bennet family ceased. Yet Mr. Bennet did not repine the loss of communication with the elder branch of the Collins Family, for he still had communication with the younger branch. Daniel Bennet treasured his correspondence with his cousin in America.

    Over the years, many letters traveled between Longbourn and Western Pennsylvania. First, came the announcement of the marriage of Mr. Samuel Matthew Collins and Miss Rachel Lawrence of Boston Massachusetts. A similar announcement was sent to America to announce the marriage of Mr. Daniel Bennet of Longbourn and Miss Martha Gardiner of London. Then the announcements of the births began to arrive. First the arrival of the Bennets first child and daughter; Jane, then the Samuel Collins' first child and son; Lucas Isaac. Then a second son for Samuel Collins, who named after his godfather in England. Then a second daughter for the Bennets; Elizabeth Rachel, and a goddaughter for Mrs. Samuel Collins. Then a third daughter for the Bennets; Mary Athena, a set of twin girls for the Collins; Naomi and Ruth, then fourth and fifth daughters for the Bennets; Catherine and Lydia. Then a few years after Lydia was born, there came a surprise announcement of the birth of a third daughter for the Collins called Hannah Grace.

    When Samuel Collins' son was the grand age of seventeen, he was sent to Longbourn for a visit, so Daniel had some idea of what kind of sons his cousin had gotten. At the time Lucas was a bit awkward, so having seen just what kind of son his cousin Zechariah had gotten him as heir to Longbourn, Mr. Bennet had a desire to see just what sort of men his cousin Samuel's sons had grown into, and it did not matter whether Samuel sent his godson; Daniel or if he sent Lucas again, just so he was able to see one or the other of Samuel Collins sons. So one day when his wife had gone into Meryton for a visit with her sister Phillips, as he sat at his desk in his library, he took up a sheet of paper, picked up his pen, dipped it in the ink and began:

    My Dear Cousin Samuel...

    The End


    © 1999 Copyright held by the author.