olonel Brandon could hardly believe his good fortune. Marianne was laying here in his arms as his wife. He knew that he was the happiest man alive. The woman he had loved for so long, was his. The woman whose heart he feared he would never have, he now possessed completely. The woman who once felt that it was better to die for the sake of a lost first love, now felt that she would die without her second love. The woman, who thought that he was too old to marry (after all, he did have a slight rheumatism) now felt his age to be of no consequence. Tonight they had become soul mates.

As Brandon watched his beautiful wife sleep, he contemplated the wonderful turn his life had taken. It seemed to him that he would spend his life alone. His feelings, his emotions, his heart, indeed his soul had been in a slumber so very deep, that he feared they were dead. Certainly there had been many that tried to awaken those feelings in him, but none had succeeded, until he met Miss Marianne Dashwood. Indeed when he first heard her lovely voice, and saw her beautiful face, feelings came to him that were all at once foreign and familiar. He had met his soulmate.

Or so he thought. His hopes in that quarter were soon dashed. He watched with a heavy heart as another claimed the affections of Marianne. He felt the pain that had afflicted him once before. He again felt the torment of a broken heart. Only this time, he did not know if he would survive. He watched in agony as Marianne fell under the charms of John Willoughby. He endured her indifferent and sometimes-disdainful manor toward him. He endured their mocking him and laughing at him. Yet, he loved her so very much. What a cruel twist. Oh how he longed for the deep slumber of those awakened feelings.

When he thought things couldn't possibly get worse, they did. This man who had ruined his hopes of a happy life with Marianne, was now responsible for ruining the life of someone else he loved. John Willoughby had left the daughter of his once beloved Eliza in a most unfortunate situation. A situation that would ruin her life in the same way her mother's had been ruined - with child and without a husband. How he now despised this man. But the hatred he justifiably felt was about to grow stronger.

When Lady Allen found out Willoughby's wanton course, she promptly disinherited him. He at once abandoned Marianne in favor of Miss Grey and her 50,000 pounds. Brandon then watched in horror and grief as his beloved Marianne suffered the cruel agony that he too once suffered. All her hopes and dreams were dashed, yet there was nothing he could do to give her relief. Even relating the whole of Willoughby's conduct to Elinor (and she in turn to Marianne) would not give her the peace he knew she deserved. His only comfort was that Marianne would not marry this scoundrel of a man, thus ruining her chances for a happy life.

But Colonel Brandon's misery only increased, as Marianne suffered a near fatal illness. Oh, how his soul ached. How he wished he could relieve her suffering, take away her pain, replace her grief with happiness. But he could not. All that he could do was bring her mother to her. He was so relieved, on returning with Mrs. Dashwood, to find that she would indeed recover. His heart rejoiced in the knowledge that she would not suffer the fate his Eliza had suffered. But even though he rejoiced at her recovery, he still felt the icy grip of despair in his longing for Marianne. He had not the smallest hope of a return of his sentiments. He had believed that Marianne's affections for Willoughby was too deeply rooted for any change in her feelings. And even if her heart no longer belonged to Willoughby, if her heart was free, the difference in their age was too great a barrier to be overcome. He had believed this with all his heart.

Part 2

ittle did he know of the revolution that began to take place in the heart of Marianne. As she got to know the Colonel, she began to see him as a friend, a loyal friend, despite her treatment of him. She realized all he had done for her. He sought to ease her pain by relating the whole of Willoughby's conduct to Elinor (despite the pain it caused him to relive such dreadful memories). He had brought her mother to her when she was sick. He had also given his carriage to them so she could go back to Barton Cottage. She had been so blind. She began to see him for what he was, an amiable, generous and gentle soul. Her estimation of him increased when she realized that he was the means by which Elinor and Edward would be able to marry.

She began to see that all of her beliefs about love and what love entailed were faulty and immature. She had once believed that one could only love completely, once in a lifetime. But her bitter experience taught her a painful lesson, but a lesson she would come to benefit by. She came to a better understanding of her heart. She realized that it was possible to love completely and deeply twice in one lifetime. After all were not her and her sisters living proof of this?

With a better understanding of her heart came a better understanding of her feelings for Colonel Brandon. She came to realize that her feelings for him were not only of gratitude, but also of admiration and esteem. She loved him. She had known the wishes of her mother and sister. She knew that they were indebted to him. She also realized that marrying Colonel Brandon would be most advantageous to her and her family considering their reduced circumstances. But although she had grown as a person because of her experience, her feelings about love had not been altered entirely. She knew that she could never marry him out of a sense of duty to her family, or out of a sense of gratitude, or for a better circumstance. Marianne knew she could never love by halves. She knew that if she married the Colonel it would be because she loved him, deeply and completely - with all of her heart and soul. And love him with all of her heart and soul she did.

Because of the Colonel's lack of confidence, and his belief that Marianne saw him only as a friend, he never expressed his continuing deep feelings to her. He didn't want her to feel obligated to return his sentiments, however little they may have been felt. (At least that is what he believed. He did not yet know that Marianne loved him.)

So for weeks they went on this manner. They were friends. They read poetry together. They even played the pianoforte together. But it never went beyond that. This distressed Marianne greatly. She had known that the Colonel loved her. But if he loved her, why didn't he express it? Why did he treat her as a friend only? Maybe he no longer loved her. Maybe his opinion of her had been lessened materially because of her conduct with Willoughby. But if this was the case, then why had he done so much for her? Why was he still her friend? No, that couldn't be it. Then it dawned on Marianne. Maybe he didn't express his feelings for her because of the way she treated him. Maybe he thought that she did not love him. After all, what had she done to show him that her feelings for him had changed? Because of her conduct with Willoughby she had resolved not to display her sensibilities so openly. Maybe now she was too closed. What could she do? She needed to know if the Colonel did indeed still love her. If she was right, if he did love her, but did not show it because of her behavior, then she needed to find a way to let him know that she loved him with all of her heart, mind and soul.

Colonel Brandon would never forget this day as long as he lived. It was the day Marianne let him know that her feelings for him had indeed changed. He had gone to visit her and they began to read poetry as usual. However, this time Marianne requested that instead of him reading to her as usual, she wanted to read one that she had especially picked for him.

My true love hath my heart, and I have his,
By just exchange, one for the other given.
I hold his dear, and mine he cannot miss,
There never was a better bargain driven.
His heart in me keeps me and him in one,
My heart in him his thoughts and senses guides;
He loves my heart, for once it was his own,
I cherish his, because in me it bides.
His heart his wound received from my sight,
My heart was wounded with his wounded heart;
For as from me on him his hurt did light,
So still methought in me his hurt did smart
Both equal hurt, in this change sought our bliss:
My true love hath my heart and I have his.

Colonel Brandon at first did not know what to think when Marianne read this to him. His heart wanted desperately to believe that this was meant for him, but his mind told him otherwise. He couldn't understand why she would do this to him. He knew that she was aware of how he felt. She knew that he was in love in with. Even if she did not return his sentiments, there was no need to torture him with her feelings for Willoughby. He felt as though he would die. Despite his feelings he remained somewhat composed.

Marianne had seen, for a few brief moments, his distress. She realized then that he thought that poem was for Willoughby. She was at once satisfied and sorry. She was satisfied, because she knew that he loved her. She was sorry, because she had caused him more pain. She tried to relieve his pain and gratify him at once. She told him how grateful she was for all that he had done for her. She told him how she appreciated his continuing devotion to her despite her horrible treatment to him.

When the Colonel heard these things, he at once felt happy and sad. He was happy because he knew that this poem was not for Willoughby. He was sad because he thought that Marianne was doing this out of gratitude, and not love. She was about to continue when he interrupted her. He asked permission to read a poem to her.

Farewell, thou art too dear for my possessing,
And like enough thou know'st thy estimate.
The charter of thy worth gives thee releasing;
My bonds in thee are all determinate.
For how do I hold thee but by thy granting?
And for that riches where is my deserving?
The cause of this fair gift in me is wanting,
And so patent back again is swerving.
Thyself thou gav'st, tho own worth then not knowing,
Or me, to whom thou gav'st it, else mistaking;
So thy great gift, upon misprision growing,
Comes home again, on better judgement making.
Thus have I had thee, as a dream doth flatter,
In sleep a king, but, waking, no such matter.

When he finished this poem, he thanked her for her kind expressions of gratitude but he let her know that he did not want her to express these sentiments for the sake of gratitude. He let her know that he would always be her friend. He then got up and kissed Marianne lightly on the cheek. With that he could no longer contain his composure, so he excused himself, and left.

Part 3

Marianne couldn't believe what she had just heard. She immediately began to cry. Elinor, who was visiting, asked her what happened. Marianne made Elinor promise not to tell anyone. She then told everything to her sister. She told Elinor that the Colonel must not love her anymore and that was why he looked distressed. He didn't want to hurt her feelings, but he did not want any part of her. Marianne knew she would not recover from this blow. She became hysterical and cried herself to sleep.

Although Marianne had asked Elinor not to say anything, she felt compelled on behalf of them both. She had watched them suffer so much as a result lost loves, and felt they both deserved to be happy. She knew Marianne had fallen in love with Colonel Brandon, and the Colonel's love for Marianne had been evident from their very first meeting. She realized that because the Willoughby fiasco, they both had doubts about the other one's feelings. Elinor thought that the Colonel and Marianne were making some progress, however, until this evening. Elinor had never seen her sister so upset, not even after Willoughby returned all of her letters. Elinor knew she had to do something to help them. So she resolved to speak to the Colonel. She hated to betray Marianne's confidence, but she had to help them.

That night was the longest night of his life. He didn't get any sleep. He tried to, but all he managed to do was wrinkle his bed linens. Eventually, he gave up trying to sleep, and just sat in front of the fire place. His mind was too full to sleep. He kept reflecting on the events of the evening. The emotions he had felt in the space of 20 minutes were so vastly different from one another. He went from feeling as if he would die because of a broken heart to feeling he would die because he thought he had forced Marianne to express feelings she did not feel.

But what haunted him the most that night, was the look on Marianne's face as she realized what he was saying. She looked so hurt. Could it be that she really did love him? Could it be that she read that poem to him to because that was how she felt? He wanted desperately to believe this. But it could not be possible. He could not delude himself. Nor could he stand to be around her anymore. He resolved that he would go to town for a few weeks.

As the Colonel was making his arrangements, his servant announced that he had a visitor, Mrs. Edward Ferrars. He was surprised to see Elinor. He began to worry because he thought something was wrong with Marianne. She saw the look of worry on his face and let him know that nothing was wrong with Marianne, physically. Then he got a puzzled looked on his face. She explained to him that Marianne had confided in her the events of the previous day. Elinor told Colonel Brandon of Marianne's distress when he quitted her last. She told him how Marianne dissolved into tears. She felt as though he didn't love her, that he couldn't love her after her actions with Willoughby and the way she had treated him. She thought that he read that sonnet simply for the sake of not hurting her feelings. The fact that he scrupled not hurt her even though he no longer cared for her, made her realize what she had lost. With that became hysterical. Elinor tried to convince Marianne that this was not the case, but she would not hear it. She eventually cried herself into a fitful sleep.

If Colonel Brandon was shocked upon hearing what Elinor's reason was for coming, he was grieved when he heard all of the details. He NEVER wanted to hurt his beloved. He was shaken to the core. He struggled in vain to keep his composure as he put his head into his hands and began to weep. Elinor was moved by this display affection, as men did not display their sensibilities in front openly. Elinor then realized something she had never realized before. She once thought that Marianne and the Colonel had totally opposite temperaments and that with time, they would adjust to each other. But when she saw his reaction to her news, she knew that they were very much alike. The only difference was that Colonel Brandon was older, and had learned to control his emotions better.

He began to compose himself as he heard Elinor explain to him that she did not come to cause him distress, but to help. She explained to him that she knew that he loved her sister very much. And although Marianne was grateful for all that he had done, that poem was from her heart. A heart that was full of love for him.

Colonel Brandon went from feeling abject misery to indescribable joy. Marianne did love him. His heart beat wildly in his chest as he realized that his dreams of Marianne being his wife might be realized, and soon. He resolved to go to her immediately and relieve the pain they were both suffering. He could not thank Elinor enough. She was the means by which he and his beloved would be happy.

Part 4

The Colonel was interrupted by his steward with a matter of business that could not be delayed. So he resolved to go the immediately the next day to see Marianne. When he arrived that morning, however, she would not see him. No one could persuade her to come out to see him. Although the Colonel was very disappointed, he would not give up. On his way back to Delaford, he thought of a way to get her to listen to him. He decided he would write her a letter. He realized the impropriety of this, but he knew there was no other way. He went to his desk immediately and began to write.

Dearest Marianne,

I'm writing this letter to you because it is the only way I can communicate with you. There is something I want you to know. I love you with all of my heart and soul. You are my soul mate. You have awakened feelings in me that I thought were dead. From the moment I first saw your beautiful face, I felt my soul come alive. When I first heard your lovely voice, I was entranced, bewitched. How could I not be? You have had my heart from that moment on. You will always have my heart. I love you. I need you. I want you to be my friend, my wife, my lover, my companion - forever. (Please do not be affronted by this lack of propriety, but I need for you to know what is in my heart.)

I want you to know that I never meant to hurt you. I am so sorry for imputing wrong motives to your heartfelt expressions of love. I wanted desperately to believe that you loved me, but I could not. I know now how wrong and foolish I was. (Do not be mad at Elinor. She came to me out of love and concern for you.)

Please talk to me. Please see me. Without you, I am just an empty shell, existing and breathing, but not really living. For you see, my sweet Marianne, I live for you. I love for you. I exist for you. I need to see you, hear you, feel your presence. Please do not shut me out.

Forever Yours,

C. Brandon

Part V

They went in and asked Mrs. Dashwood for permission. Her mother was so excited she almost screeched. Margaret was ecstatic to have such a brother to be - A Colonel. Now he could regale her with tales of India. Elinor and Edward were indeed happy for them. Elinor especially felt her sister's joy because she knew what pains they had both suffered and now they would find true joy with each other. Marianne harboured no grudge against her, she was the means by which they were together. Although Mrs. Jennings was somewhat vulgar, (reminding them of the age difference), they all knew she was truly happy for them. All Sir John could say was "Capital Brandon". Even John and Fanny Dashwood with their ill breeding and contempt could not dampen their joy.

The next few weeks were the best weeks of their life. Although he saw his beloved frequently, it was always amidst a group of people. They rarely spent any private moments together and when they did, it ended up being just that, moments. But they cherished the little private time they had and looked forward to when they could have all the private time they wished for. But until that then, they had to be content with greeting each other, ( when he would take her delicate hand in his and kiss it gently, yet passionately), loving glances across the dinner table (which smoldered with yearning and desire) and their parting each day (with the occasional brief, but tender kiss). Meanwhile the ladies planned and arranged. There were wedding clothes to be bought and plenty of other arrangements to be made. Marianne did not want to be separated from the Colonel to go to buy these things. So they all went to London to take care of the necessary business.

Marianne along with her mother and sister picked out the most exquisite white gown, one that she hoped would please him. It was simple dress. It was straight, with lace and intricate beading. It complimented her complexion wonderfully. They also picked out a beautiful night gown for her to wear (although this was done with much blushing on the part of both Elinor and Marianne). They were able to buy all that was needed for Marianne to start her new life with her beloved Colonel.

On the eve of their wedding, the happy couple had hoped they would get to spend some time alone, but no such event was to happen. Marianne felt that might happen so she wrote the Colonel a letter.

My Dearest Christopher,

I anticipated that in the excitement of the evening, we would not be able to spend any time alone. So I decided to write you just a short letter.

I wanted to let you know that I love you with all of my heart and soul. You have made me the happiest of women. You have taught me what it is to love another person completely. You have also given me something Willoughby could never give me, a love that knows no bounds or limits. I love you more each day, something I once did not believe to be possible. I look forward to our new life together. I look forward to learning everything about you, even things that seem mundane to others. I want to know your likes and dislikes, your favorite food, your favorite colors. I want to be able to distinguish the sound of your footsteps on the stairs, to the know the sound of your voice as you soothe our children. I eagerly anticipate all the knowledge I will posses of you, my love.

So as you spend your last night alone as a single man, may you have sweet dreams of the new path we will embark on tomorrow. Know that I love you and I too will have the same pleasant dreams. Good night my dear.

(For the last time,)
Miss Marianne Dashwood

He was exceedingly touched by the sweet words. He read the letter over and over again. He felt like a little boy, too excited to go to sleep, but he knew he had to get some rest. He eventually drifted off to sleep and had the most pleasant dreams about the day and evening that awaited him.

That morning he awoke early, as he was excited about his impending nuptials. He took a walk around the grounds. When he came back he made sure everything was prepared for the arrival of his new bride. He had seen to it that the master suite was cleaned and aired out for her, (as this part of the house had not been in use for some time.) He had her bed chamber completely redone, and brightened up to please her. There were fresh wild flowers there for her delight. He did everything he could to keep busy, until it was time. Finally the time came for him to go to the church.

All of their friends and family were gathered to witness this most happy event. He found that he was nervous. However, when he saw his beloved Marianne coming down the aisle, any nervousness he felt, faded into obscurity. She was absolutely stunning. He had never seen her look so beautiful. This vision of loveliness before him produced a smile that no one had ever seen, not even his friends from the army. Marianne thought she had never seen him look so devastatingly handsome as he did today, especially when he smiled. The ceremony was simple yet beautiful. Everyone could not help but be touched, (even Fanny Dashwood) by the love that emanated from both the Colonel and Marianne. They held hands throughout the ceremony and when Edward pronounced them man and wife, he cupped her face in his hand and told her "I love you Mrs. Brandon. You are my life". He then kissed her gently, but passionately. He was pleasantly surprised as he felt her kiss him back with the same force of passion.